The Ontarion - 194.4

TABLE OF CONTENTS

3. Guelph Tool Library and Circular Store encouraging circular economy

4. U of G holds International Women’s Day event featuring Canadian zoologist Dr. Anne Innis Dagg U of G’s Dr. Jennifer Geddes-McAlister

6. Sikh Student Association hosts Turban Up event

7. Rotaract Club holds fundraising gala

Tips for securing that summer job

8. The economics of why everything is so expensive

9. Taking the lead on inclusion through leadership and gender equity

ARTS & CULTURE

10. Guelph bans TikTok on government-issued devices

12 & 13. Voluntourism, too good to be true?

14. Genshiken Festival held at U of G

15. Reward: Have you seen this sign?

16 & 17. What actually happened with the CSA election?

18. The 70s are back in style and so is Daisy Jones & The Six

The Biodiversity Photo Contest displayed the na ture of photography

SPORTS & HEALTH

19. Why you should know the name Chantique

Carey-Payne

21. Strikers on strike: The never-ending fght for equal pay in soccer

Gryphon Sports Roundup

22. The jugglers that everyone sees, but no one knows

Dragon Boat vs. Rowing: Know the diference!

FUN STUFF THE CONTRARION

23. April to-do list Pets of the month

24. Puzzles page

2. Puzzles page

3. Student Housing now ofering cardboard boxes for rent on Johnston Green

The hot girl uniform: mom jeans and white sneaks

4 & 5. Ontario embracing post-apocalyptic competition to distract from high cost of living

6. Parking Services have escalated to slashing tires

Don’t be a Dick: Nicknames of “Richard” outlawed

7. The great lesbian shortage of 2023

Aggie O-Week Package to come with brown Blundstones

8. Which Trudeau haircut are you?

Gullible in Guelph?

5x10 storage: $75

Guelph Tool Library and Circular Store encouraging circular economy

Finding ways to repurpose, share and recycle

Motivated by sustainability and an interest in building community resilience, the Guelph Tool Library lends out a variety of tools to the community. They also host unique projects and initiatives, such as the newly launched Circular Store.

Located in the Old Quebec Street Shoppes, the Guelph Tool Library provides tools to borrow for any occasion – from arts and crafts, to camping, gardening, kitchen appliances, ofce supplies, power tools and more.

With items such as sewing machines, vacuum cleaners, cake pans, drills or speakers, there is no shortage of what you can fnd. Program Coordinator, Steph Clarke, says their vision is “a world where communities fnd joy in sharing.”

to 7 p.m., and Saturdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

In addition to their wide selection of tools, the Guelph Tool Library runs several projects and initiatives. Clarke says that university students might be interested in “a monthly craft night that's both virtual and in person on the last Monday of every month.” They will also be hosting a Repair Café on Apr. 15, where their volunteers help repair a variety of items for free.

One of their latest projects is the opening of the Circular Store.

Circular Store

The Circular Store is more than just a thrift store, it is a commitment to the circular economy- an economy where materials are reused as long as possible to minimize the use of natural resources. Inspired by their Re:Purpose fest and Circular Fashion Festival, the Circular Store is a pop-up shop that aims to redistribute, repurpose and recycle unwanted items.

Anyone can become a member of the store. With a $60 annual membership, members have access to borrow up to 10 items at a time, for one week at a time. Currently, they have over 1200 items to choose from. Tools can be reserved online or during store hours. Their hours are Mondays from 4:30 p.m. to 6 p.m., Tuesdays from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m., Wednesdays from 1:30 p.m. to 6 p.m., Thursdays from 4 p.m.

The Circular Store carries clothing, small toys, housewares, and tools that can be purchased based on a sliding scale price system. In an efort to reduce economic barriers, customers select from three price levels for an item, depending on what they can aford. The store is currently accepting donations of used clothing (winter appropriate), trinkets, household items (like lamps and dishes), arts supplies, hand tools, and toys until mid April.

The store also has a recycling program running where people can bring in items like

old phones, cofee bags, toothbrushes, toothpaste tubes, disposable razors, air fresheners, shampoo bottles and eyeglasses that might be difcult to recycle elsewhere.

The Circular Store is open on Mondays from 12 p.m. to 4 p.m., Tuesdays from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m., Wednesdays from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m., and Thursdays from 1 p.m. until 4 p.m, in the same location as the Guelph Tool Library.

If you’re interested in vol-

unteering for this initiative, the Circular store is looking for volunteers that can do one or more fxed shifts a week, for shifts ranging two to four hours long. They’re looking for people who can sort donations, keep the store neat, and cash out customers. There are currently afternoon and evening shifts available.

The Circular Store hopes to continue into the summer and beyond, but this is dependent on funding and whether they

have volunteers. You can check out more about the Guelph Tool Library and Circular Store at guelphtoollibrary.org.

U of G holds International Women’s Day event featuring Canadian zoologist

Dr. Anne Innis Dagg

U of G’s Dr. Jennifer Geddes-McAlister

On March 8, the University of Guelph celebrated International Women’s Day through a series of events throughout the day. At one of these events, two women in STEM spoke on challenges they’ve faced in academia and science, and how they had to fght to create a space for themselves where they could thrive.

One of the speakers at this event was Dr. Jennifer Geddes-McAlister, a professor in the Department of Molecular and Cellular Biology at the University of Guelph, and founder of the initiative Moms in Proteomics and she talked about the challenges women in STEM face.

Geddes-McAlister also talked about specifc struggles that moth-

ers and parents in academia face, such as having to miss out on dinner with her family twice a week so she could teach her lectures. This, along with a cumulation of other clashes in her personal and professional life, inspired her to create the international initiative called Moms in Proteomics, which is committed to supporting and recognizing mothers in STEM.

“A key component of Moms in Proteomics is the pillars we are built upon, and these themes are not exclusive to mothers in STEM, but are shared by many individuals,” Geddes-McAlister said.

Some of the themes are building connections, networking with other mothers to exchange ideas, discussing challenges, developing a

community, timing of when to have children, developing strategies and setting expectations for balancing a personal life and a successful career.

Geddes-McAlister mentioned that there is an underrepresentation of women in leadership positions and in areas of STEM, and although the disparity is much better than it was years ago, there is still a lot of room for improvement.

“Young girls need to see role models and women in diverse positions. You do not have to be the president of the university to be successful, but it’s very important to see that you can be if you want to,” Geddes-McAlister said.

Sometimes it may seem difcult to get to where we want to be without any role models or mentors but in these cases, Geddes-McAlister urges us to be the mentor.

“Dr. Anne Innis Dagg is a great example of not having a direct mentor, but being her own mentor,” Geddes-McAlister said. “If you have a mentor that’s fantastic, but if you don’t, become the mentor, because you’re the one that can make change.”

90-year old Canadian zoologist, feminist and author Dr. Anne Innis Dagg and her daughter Mary Dagg, spoke on how far women’s rights have come since Anne’s time in South Africa studying girafes in the 1950s. Dagg had been interested in studying girafes since the age of 3 when she saw her frst one in the zoo, as a woman she traveled to South Africa and became the frst scientist to study girafes in the wild.

Mary refected on how Dagg received multiple rejections from universities, including the Univer-

sity of Guelph, when she applied to be a full professor because she was a woman.

Now, the U of G is making amends and has an exhibit in the McLaughlin Library dedicated to the life and work of Dr. Anne Dagg, and a summer research scholarship to encourage and advance the careers of women in STEM.

Dagg fought for the rights of women and wrote several books and poems about feminism and sexism. While chasing her dreams, she had the support of her mother but mostly she motivated and encouraged herself.

“I just pushed my way through because I knew what I wanted to do,” Dagg said.

Mary said that women have come a long way from her mother’s time but it’s still important for women to keep fghting for their rights today because we all have an unconscious gender bias.

“It’s like asking people to add that extra thought into their brain to make sure they aren’t being biased, because these biases still exist. Their unconscious mind could be biased without them realizing it.”

Madeline Nowlan, a frstyear student in the Wildlife Biology and Conservation major at the University of Guelph, came for the event because she had seen the 2018 documentary on Anne Dagg’s life and trip to South Africa, The Woman Who Loves Girafes, and wanted to meet her in person and hear more about her life.

On Sunday April 16th at 2 p.m., the Bookshelf’s theater in downtown Guelph will screen this flm and all proceeds from the showing will go towards the Af-

rican Wildlife Foundation. Those who attend will also get to see artwork from Canadian wildlife artist Robert Bateman that he personally painted for Dagg.

“I didn’t know that she did so much work on fghting for women’s rights. I only knew about her conservation eforts and I thought it was really interesting to learn more about that side of her life,” Nowlan said.

Nowlan also talked about key takeaways she got from the event.

“There’s still a lot of growth space still needed when it comes to fghting for women’s rights particularly in STEM. I think it’s surprising that we still have quite a long way to go in terms of equality.”

Morgan Mizzoni, recipient of the Anne Innis Dagg Scholarship for Summer Research at the University of Guelph, was present at the event and described International Women’s Day as ‘important and amazing’.

She also talked about the impact Dr. Anne Dagg has made on zoology, integrative biology, and women in science generally.

“She’s an amazing role model and it’s such an amazing opportunity to come together as a school to honor her,” Mizzoni said. “Taking away from today is mainly the message that you need to follow your heart and do what you want to do regardless of the obstacles in your way.”

Events like this are important because younger generations of women need to see that there are women who have done great feats before them, and it serves as a motivator that they can accomplish great things too.

Progress has been made concerning women’s rights but there is still a lot more to be done

PAULA HENRY DURU

Sikh Student Association hosts Turban Up event

Turban Up, which was held in the University Centre on March 20, attracted over 1,000 visitors. It was run by the Sikh Student Association (SSA), who supplied amazing music, tasty samosas, and educational displays.

“We're trying to educate people on what the importance of Sikhism is, why we tie a turban, and the impact of women in our religion,” said Sahil Marwaha, outreach ambassador and club representative of the SSA. “Our overall goal is to educate.”

One display focused on women in the Sikh faith, highlighting important fgures such as Mai Bhago, a Sikh soldier who fought for freedom and equality in 1705.

Another display educated attendees about the Five K’s of Sikhism. These include: the kesh, the practise of growing out one’s hair and covering it with a turban, the kanga, a wooden comb kept in the hair, the kara, a steel bracelet that promotes pos-

itive actions, the kachera breeches that are worn at all times, and the kirpan a dagger that symbolizes courage and self-defense.

Yet the grandest part of Turban Up was getting the chance to try on a turban.

“A turban for a Sikh is like a crown,” said Charandeep Singh Dhillon, the president of the SSA. “Our religion believes in no discrimination… so everybody gets to wear a turban. Everybody is a king or a queen. And similarly, it also helps us keep our hair tied up properly and clean.”

Turbans also are a form of self-expression.

“With turbans, you can choose whatever color you want,” said Mawaha. “You're trying to represent yourself and refect whatever color you'd like… it's all personal preference.”

The event was run by volunteers from the SSA that provided and tied turbans for attendees. They also painted the cannon

For 23 years, Bob has made it his mission to serve up good food and good times to U of G students. Whether you're in need of a quick meal or a just friendly face, come say hi to Bob at his hot dog stand just east of Branion Plaza.

and made many posters.

“Everything here was donation work,” said Marwaha. “So, we all pitched in.”

“Everybody’s allowed to keep the turbans,” he added. “In Sikhism, we have this idea called Seva. Seva means to give back to the community for free.”

Dhillon explained that people of all walks of life and diferent faiths are welcome to join the SSA. It’s all about doing selfess work for others and being a good member of your community.

“Being a Sikh means does not doesn't mean following the religion of Sikhism,” said Dhillon. “It just means if you're a good Hindu, to be a good Hindu. If you're a good Catholic, be a good Catholic. If you're a good Muslim, be a good Muslim. If you're a good atheist, be a good atheist.”

“That's what we're trying to teach, regardless of where you come from”, said Marwaha. “Just be a good human being.”

This event was a great success, and even President Yates showed up to try on a turban. But the SSA promises that next year has more in store.

“Next year, guaranteed we’re going to have a much bigger, much better event,” said Marwaha.

Gursimran Chadha, the SSA vice president, issued a challenge to other schools across Canada to put on a better event than Guelph.

“Western, UofT and UBC have big SSAs, we’re calling out all of them,” Chadha said.

The SSA invites everyone to connect with them on Instagram @ssaguelph, where they regularly monitor DMs and can answer any questions.

“We had a lot of people from all walks of life show up today, and we hope to continue to see that trend,” concluded Marwaha.

After a three-year hiatus, the Sikh Student Association put on a interactive community event in the UC for students to learn about and experience Sikh culture

Rotaract Club holds fundraising gala

The club raiders $3,000 for the Children’s Foundation of Guelph and Wellington’s Food & Friends program

The University of Guelph’s Rotaract Club held a successful gala to raise funds for the Children’s Foundation of Guelph and Wellington’s Food & Friends program. The event took place on March 3rd and through the support of sponsors and attendees, $3,000 was raised. The gala included a silent auction, ring toss, and speeches from the Rotaract club and the Children's Foundation.

The Rotaract club is the university’s extension of Rotary. They work under and are associated with the local Rotary clubs in Guelph and are a combination between Rotary and action. The club consistently gets involved with the community, such as their annual gala. Along with Trick or Eat, where they go trick or treating for food items to donate to the food bank. Overall, the Rotaract club

inspires students to meet people and get involved in the community.

The Children’s Foundation of Guelph and Wellington has dedicated their charity to supporting children. For teens approaching university and college, they provide scholarships that those teens may not have qualifed for.

During the holidays, their program Adopt-A-Family connects families who need support during the holiday season with donors who give hope and joy to them by shopping for wish gifts and providing gift cards. The Free to Grow program provides funding for children to join sports, camps, have access to drivers' education and funds mental health counselling. The Children’s Foundation’s Food & Friends brings healthy food to hungry minds.

There are over 100 programs that ofer aid in schools providing breakfast programs, snacks, lunch and more for kids. The goal is to end the stigma around food insecurity by making the programs universally open. Food & Friends knows that proper nutrition directly correlates with a child’s performance at school and ensures children can have the potential to succeed.

Before their eighth annual gala, multiple charities approached the Rotaract club. However, Food & Friends felt like the right choice to sponsor.

Victoria Donovan, the co-executive of events for Rotaract, explained that they chose Food & Friends because the club, “loves the Children’s Foundations message and how they’re supporting kids in our area. There are so

many hungry kids in Guelph and the Wellington area and it’s really cool to see that impact and a lot of us used those programs when we were kids.”

As students, the club wanted to choose a charity that is doing something for the students in the community.

Volunteers are essential for the Children’s Foundation, and they are welcoming all. The Food & Friends program is looking for volunteers to help assemble the food before the children arrive. Along with volunteers to help distribute the food and meal plan. If you want to help the community by

Tips for securing that summer job

Summer’s just

around

With spring just around the corner, it’s time for many students at the University of Guelph to start looking for summer jobs. This can be a difcult time for many people as students are already dealing with fnal assignments, and studying for exams so job searching is the last thing on their mind.

The Ontarion had the opportunity to correspond with Sue Gordon, a job developer at 2nd Chance Employment Counselling, to get the inside scoop on the best way to fnd, apply, and interview for summer jobs.

When looking for jobs, your frst goal should be to discover what type of career you are looking for. Most summer students tend to work entry level jobs, but you should decide the lowest pay rate you will accept, the hours you would be capable of working, and what types of jobs would be best tailored to ft your needs.

Summer jobs can sometimes be difcult to fnd, especially when you often don’t have a lot of time to be searching for them.

“The best advice I have is for

volunteering with Food & Friends, visit the Children’s Foundation website, www.childrensfoundation. org to learn more.

The Rotaract Club is always looking for new members. Rotaract is a fun and supportive community where you can meet new people while also getting involved in the community. If you’re interested in joining, don’t be afraid to show up to one of their weekly meetings every Wednesday at 5:30 pm in room 334 in the UC. Or follow their Instagram @rotaractguelph or email them rotaract@uoguelph.ca. Any involvement is appreciated and encouraged.

the corner, and it’s time to start thinking about how you’re going to aford it

people who are looking for summer work to get their resume reviewed and use websites like Indeed and the Job Bank to see if there are postings listed,” said Gordon.

Local job boards can also be helpful. Employment assistance program websites, like the YMCA, often have a list of places looking to hire in the area.

Once you have found a couple of jobs you might be interested in applying to, it is important to have a resume and cover letter.

Especially with the impact of COVID-19 on the social world, everything business related happens online now. The days of hand delivering your resume and cover letter in person are almost behind us.

“I tell people to do the online application frst and then follow up with a phone call or a drop in to let the employer know they’ve applied online,” said Gordon.

Oftentimes entry level jobs, such as serving, require you to drop of a resume in person. It is important to remember the employer will be watching you and your presentation from the moment you

walk in the door, so depending on a person’s personality and confdence level this can be risky.

When applying to jobs, cover letters are something that is often forgotten. Gordon emphasizes the importance of having a cover letter along with your resume. Your resume is a small list of your accomplishments; a cover letter allows you to share a piece of your personality with the employer.

“Your cover letter should introduce why you are applying to the position, your skill and experience level and what you can bring to the table for the employer,” said Gordon.

Gordon emphasizes the importance of demonstrating not only your soft skills, communication, organization, teamwork etc., in your resume, but also set tasks you may have done in previous job experiences that would be transferable to the job you are applying to. If you have a specifc job in mind you want to apply to, research the company and inspect the job posting for key words the employer may be looking for from a resume.

Once you’ve spent some time searching and applying to some jobs, the next step is preparing for an interview. The interview is your time to show the employer what you have to ofer, and decide if you would feel comfortable working there.

“Research the company, research the position and research the actual role. Know more about the company than even your interviewers,” Gordon said. “Make sure you are confdent in what you can provide to the company and how to explain your skills and experience. Get your elevator pitch ready for the ‘Tell me about yourself question’.”

It’s important to prepare for answering the interviewers’ questions, but it is also important to prepare some questions for the interviewer. This will make you seem more engaged and interested in the position; you really care about how you could contribute to the company.

“I always tell people to have at least 3 questions up your sleeve. Can you let me know what a typi-

cal day is like doing this job? What does being successful look like after the frst month? I also encourage people to talk about something specifc in the interview and try to get a question out that way- asking questions at the end- even just oneis very important,” said Gordon. Gordon said anyone looking for help with their resume, job search and interview prep can reach out to 2nc Chance Employment Counselling. They are available on all social media platforms and their resources are free to access. They have computers, internet, resume writing, and employment counseling to assist you in your job search.

“Stay positive. Don’t take anything personally and learn from the people in the industry. There is a lot of information and opportunity out there!” said Gordon in closing remarks.

Searching for a summer job doesn’t have to be stressful as there are many resources available to you to assist you. You are not alone in this search, so rely on the people around you when you need it.

The economics of why everything is so expensive

When going into university, you’re told that tuition and textbooks cost thousands of dollars. But no one warns you about outrageous rent and grocery prices, such as $9 margarine and $6 strawberries.

In an About That news explainer, CBC News reported that the price of chicken thighs has almost doubled since Jan. 2022, going up to $20/kg from $10.61/ kg.

The Internet attempts to explain these price raises through trending hashtags: as of March 2023, #infation2023 had 69.2 million TikTok views while #recession2023 had 25.4 million. However, online infuencers are not the best source on economics.

Professor Eveline Adomait, who studies microeconomics and macroeconomics, told The Ontarion that a recession is a decline in economic activity alongside high unemployment rates.

“When you’re in a recession, there are more people looking for jobs than there are jobs available," she said. “Often, the unemployment rate is a signal of if we’re in a recession or not.”

Adomait added that current Canadian unemployment statistics are quite low, saying that they

have “stabilised out at about 5%”. This proves that a recession is not to blame for our current high prices. Furthermore, in a recession, prices typically do not rise as quickly.

“A recession says no one wants to buy stuf…that is not happening,” said Adomait.

Instead, infation is the reason for our thinner wallets. Infation refers to changes in price that mean your dollar will buy less than it could before. According to CBC News, Canada’s infation rate is the highest it’s been since 1991.

This could be because of the pandemic, where lockdowns shut down businesses, resulting in high unemployment rates.

Adomait mentioned that the government handled this by giving CERB for people who couldn’t work and lowering interest rates. However, according to its website, the Bank of Canada waited until March 2022 to raise interest rates again, meaning we currently feel that prices are rising quickly.

Additionally, during the pandemic, supply issues and quarantines prevented economic activity, and people didn’t spend as much money. Now, businesses are open again and there is a high demand

for products.

“The reason prices are high is normally because things are booming,” said Adomait. “There's money to be spent.”

Specifcally, grocery prices have infated: the demand for groceries has remained the same, but it has become harder to produce and transport food. This is due to recent labour shortages, increased gas prices, and weather conditions.

In addition to these factors, many are accusing grocers of taking advantage of infation to earn excess profts. Forbes described this as “greedfation”, reporting that Empire/Sobeys, Metro, and Loblaws - Canada’s three largest grocery corporations, have posted higher profts in the frst half of 2022 than their average performance over the past fve years. Statistics Canada afrms that the cost of groceries has gone up at a higher rate than infation since late 2021.

Similarly, housing prices have skyrocketed. When searching for housing this spring, some students found that the price of housing has increased when their wage has not.

These increased housing prices are due to high demand.

Landlords know that a large number of students will need a house for next year, so they increase their prices by hundreds of dollars.

Adomait described that Guelph’s current housing crisis is due to a supply shortage.

“We have not been increasing our housing stock to the same rate as we’ve been increasing our number of people looking for housing. We just have not had construction to the level that we need,” she said.

Adomait also mentioned the need for more high-density housing.

“We need cities that can accommodate more people,” she said.

Building more houses would involve the federal, provincial, and municipal government. Often, municipalities acknowledge that more housing is needed, but they don’t want the construction of high-rise buildings in their area. This leaves many students scrambling to fnd housing without any solutions in place.

While everything seems to be getting more expensive, there is reason for hope. Adomait said that some sectors are slowing how fast their prices rise, which might

translate to housing and grocery prices stabilising.

For now, some ways to save on groceries include making your own meals, price-matching, and choosing store-brand items over brand-name. As for housing, it’s important to stay on top of thecannon.ca’s listings to fnd a place within your budget.

You might also want to try purchasing second hand furniture, splitting rent with others, and switching to electricity-saving appliances to cut down on utility bills. Doing little things like this can help you get through this economic squeeze while maintaining your sanity.

These strategies are not perfect, but they could save you some money in this economic climate that we will hopefully recover from soon.

A crash course from an economics prof on what “recession” and “infation” really mean

Taking the lead on inclusion through leadership and gender equity

U of G leadership students attended a gender equity event focused on open discussion and a few ways of practising inclusion

On March 9 at the campus football pavilion, Caleb Harwood and the University of Guelph held the Going Beyond HeForShe event, an open discussion for any student, staf, or faculty looking to delve into the topic of gender equity and inclusivity.

Harwood is U of G’s Sexual and Gender Diversity Advisor in charge of supporting and advocating for LGBTQ2IA+ students who may be navigating their identity. They also supervise OUTline staf and the OUTline Online Chat.

tinue to unlearn and relearn how we can better support identities that may intersect with queerness.”

As the discussion was hosted by the Gordon S. Lang School of Business and Economics, about a dozen students from U of G’s Certifcate of Leadership were in attendance.

The Certifcate in Leadership is a multidisciplinary fvecourse program that “aims to prepare [students] to thrive in today's dynamic workplace and to serve [their] community by equipping [them] with the necessary leadership skills to make a diference in [their] organisation,” according to the certifcate description.

Sara King, sessional instructor for this year’s certifcate program, told The Ontarion that she pitched the discussion to her students because exploring gender equity and inclusivity has a lot to do with leadership.

fections of gender equity. In fact, the very frst question Harwood posed to the group of nearly 30 attendants sat in a circle of chairs was, “what feelings are evoked when you hear ‘gender equity?’”

The discussion was open and honest, and no one was obligated to participate if they weren’t comfortable. A handful of attendants admitted to feeling confused, either at the term itself or of how one is supposed to practise gender equity.

One participant in the discussion agreed with others’ confusion despite feeling like they hear about gender equity everywhere.

ears and productive discussion.

Harwood also said that, for those looking to the discussion as a way to educate themselves and take the lead on fostering inclusivity, questions on topics and terms were all welcome.

So, where would someone even start? What if someone realised they had said or done something prejudiced and wanted to make it right?

interviewer for a company in her feld.

“There was a new hire for my mother, and at the interview, [a male candidate] was like ‘oh, I thought you were going to be male because I didn’t expect there to be a woman here,’” said Sandhu.

“As a queer individual, I understand the importance that the spaces ofering equitable support to LGBTQ2IA+ students must grasp the nuances, uniqueness, and individuality of queer identity,” says Harwood on their U of G biography page. “I have a commitment that the supports within the Sexual and Gender Diversity Team are mindful of bias and con-

“Events like these are great,” said King, explaining that student engagement is always good with interactive discussions as opposed to an entire semester of classes.

“Refection has a lot to do with leadership, and the students can learn a lot from [this event].”

Questions for the group were prepared in advance and covered a lot of general and personal re-

“Especially with yesterday being International Women’s Day, it feels to me like just something we say now, and there’s not really action around it,” said the participant. “It feels as if for many years we just celebrated on March 8, but what are we celebrating? So yeah, the confusion resonates with me.”

Attendants were encouraged to delve as much or as little into certain topics as they liked. Harwood explained that although they had prepared questions in advance, it was completely acceptable if the group ended up engaging with just a few or even just one. Expressions of confusion like the one above were met with open

Harwood says being comfortable with being wrong and apologising mindfully for any wrongdoings is a great frst step.

“Sometimes when we’re apologizing, we’re actually wanting the person who is ofended to comfort us in our own discomfort of making a mistake,” said Harwood. “Apologizing can be as simple as saying ‘sorry, I will do better, and I will work at it,’ … it’s important to be mindful of not putting it on others to protect you. It’s ok to make mistakes. You can always work on it.”

Some attendants also suggested using gender-neutralising language as a way of dismantling any subconscious bias.

“Gendered language is where someone will go, ‘a policeman’ or ‘a freman’ even though there aren’t only men in those jobs,” said one participant. “Instead you could easily just go, ‘a police ofcer’ or ‘a frefghter.’

[Those jobs] are just stereotypically male-dominated felds, so [gender-neutralising language] would just be getting rid of the ‘man’ at the end of the word and going for something neutral instead.”

This language can also sometimes be attributed to internal biases about hobbies and jobs.

Arshia Sandhu, one of the Certifcate of Leadership’s students, found the discussion incredibly valuable in relation to her degree in computer science.

Sandhu told The Ontarion that her mother, also a computer science graduate, was once an

This candidate didn’t end up being a good ft for the position he applied for partially because he was unable to recognize that he might be an assistant to a woman.

“I think it’s really important to recognize that every gender can rise above, especially in computer science which is basically a male-dominant part of the community,” said Sandhu.

Ultimately, it is the individual’s responsibility to confront their own biases and analyse why their expectations might be rooted in prejudice in the frst place. For a prospective hire who openly found it odd that he might be an underling to a woman, he would’ve had to do some self-refection into why the idea was so surprising to him. Did he subconsciously believe that women couldn’t succeed in the feld? Was the thought of being managed by a female supervisor less agreeable to him than being managed by a man?

Whatever the reason, it isn’t the responsibility of others to prove themselves to those with bias. The individuals with these ideas have to take the lead and educate themselves on equity and inclusivity.

"No one does the learning for us. We have to do our own learning,” says Harwood.

And for students looking to become leaders, the skill and initiative needed to refect and admit when they’re wrong will not only create more inclusive spaces in their respective felds, but it may also inspire others to do the same.

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Guelph bans TikTok on government-issued devices

With worries over data security, Guelph police, hospital staf, and city workers will not be permitted to use TikTok on their work-issued devices for 45 days

F

ollowing a series of data and privacy concerns, the City of Guelph has chosen to follow the federal government’s lead in banning TikTok from all government-issued devices.

TikTok, formerly known as Musical.ly, is a short-form video sharing app owned by ByteDance, an internet technology company based in Beijing. In just two years following its release in 2017, the app surpassed two billion mobile downloads worldwide and was named the third-fastest growing brand of 2020.

tion has been compromised.”

Despite there being no mention of a country-wide ban as of yet, the City of Guelph has chosen to implement a 45day ban of TikTok on government-issued devices as of March. As such, Guelph police ofcers, Guelph General Hospital staf, and city workers will no longer be permitted to use the app on work phones.

Adam Fischer, general manager of information technology for the City of Guelph, told The Ontarion that the ban is a precautionary measure while ofcials gather more information to confdently make an informed decision. Whether TikTok will remain banned after 45 days will depend on an internal review by the city.

Until then, the 630 devices that the city has issued to staf will be completely blocked from downloading TikTok, although other incidental personal use is permitted as long as it isn’t excessive and doesn’t impact work productivity. Fischer also assures that the city does not use TikTok as an ofcial tool for public communication.

Among several controversies over addiction, misinformation, and censorship, TikTok has also seen its fair share of criticism over user privacy which came to a head when the Canadian government launched a probe into the platform’s collection, use, and distribution of users’ personal information.

Treasury Board President Mona Fortier told CBC News that according to the probe, TikTok presented an “unacceptable level of risk to privacy and security,” as a result, the federal government promptly banned the app from all government phones in late February.

“On a mobile device, TikTok's data collection methods provide considerable access to the contents of the phone,” said Fortier. “While the risks of using this application are clear, we have no evidence at this point that government informa-

As of yet, the University of Guelph is still monitoring the situation and has no plans of modifying its social media platforms.

Volunteering seems to be an essential activity as students aim to contribute to society or enhance their resume and work prospects. This means that voluntourism, which refers to tourism based around volunteering, continues to grow in popularity.

Voluntourism makes up an industry of companies that take people on trips that involve helping local communities, with tasks that go from building schools to teaching English. This is marketed as a way for people to combine volunteering activities with travel. In theory, this sounds like a great opportunity to serve communities while getting to know the world, but is it everything it's made out to be?

Dr. Andrea Paras is a researcher in international humanitarianism and a Guelph professor who led the India Summer Field School here at the University of Guelph in 2015 and 2017. Her interest in the subject was sparked by her own experience when she went to Bosnia in 1999, after the civil war, to deliver humanitarian aid. The aid was focused on Muslim enclaves surround-

ed by Serbian Orthodox communities.

Paras refected on her experience saying, “That felt very meaningful and positive, but I was also troubled by some of the things that I saw.”

After her trip, Dr. Paras began studying these types of interventions, and the efects they might have.

Voluntourism can enforce Eurocentric viewpoints by reducing other countries to places to be fxed and consumed. Dr. Paras afrmed that voluntourism “becomes a way for those inequalities to become further exacerbated.”

She also pointed out that these trips become assets for students who participate, as they are ways to advance in their careers and improve their qualifcations, but that there isn't an equal beneft for the people in the communities they travel to.

She also explained that there are inevitably power dynamics embedded into these kinds of programs, on several levels, and proposed that it is impossible to completely mitigate these consequences. Power

relations cannot be eliminated from the contexts these trips take place in, especially considering that volunteers might not have a cultural understanding of the places they

are visiting.

Even within volunteer groups, there are power dynamics at play. Voluntourism is not accessible for people with disabilities

or with incomes that can’t cover the costs of the trips. Additionally, Paras noted that students of colour and minorities have diferent experiences to their peers.

She considers that these nuances in the experiences of the volunteers are often ignored in discussions related to the subject of voluntourism, since the assumption is that participants are white and have a set of privileges and that there is a failure to recognize that racialized students have a completely diferent experience. Some people desire to participate in these experiences to make a diference in the world and serve communities.

She points out that if the activities being carried out in the experience could be done by better qualifed local labour, then the outcome of the work might not be positive. If a student feels as though they wouldn’t be qualifed to do something in Canada, like teaching English, then they should reconsider whether they should be doing that somewhere else.

Dr. Paras mentions that it’s important to remember that students are still in a process of learning and getting trained, so they are not always able to tackle complex issues. Companies of the voluntourism industry sell the idea that any participant can change the world, without considering what qualifcations might be necessary to carry out the activities proposed.

She mentioned that volunteerism could improve if companies ofered programs that are implemented in a long-term way and that are honest about your role as a volunteer.

However, despite volunteers having great intentions, harm can still occur to marginalised communities. Dr. Paras’ India Field School examined whether it’s possible to reduce this unintended harm.

“Motivation does not equal impact. You can have good motivations and still engage in harmful actions,” she said.

Despite voluntourism’s downfalls, a lot of people still desire to participate in these types of experiences. Dr. Paras advised any interested students to ask three key questions related to participating:

Am I taking away somebody’s job? Am I qualifed to do this? And could I do this in Canada?

“I think a lot of these companies will tell you that they’re different or that they have good relationships with their community partners. You really have to think and be honest with yourself about what is going on and ask really direct questions to these companies.”

As an example, Dr. Paras mentioned We Charity – an organisation that gave young people the opportunity to complete volunteer hours by going on trips. Dishonest connections to the Trudeau family and conficts of interest resulted in the end of the company's operations in Canada.

However, it had been criticised for years because its results seemed invisible, every year

the same project would be done to give the Canadian students a meaningful experience without having a tangible impact on the communities it was supposed to serve.

She points out that it’s important to question who’s making decisions, the company or the local community? And to check whether the projects ever evolve and become meaningful for the people they are implemented for.

Dr. Paras admits that it might be very hard to fnd a company that answers its questions, but it is important to fnd one that is honest about your role. For those who are still inter-

ested in volunteering abroad, she suggested to seek out internships with reputable NGOs and the Canadian government. She mentioned there is still risk of harm, but it might be mitigated in comparison to what the for-proft sector can ofer.

Guelph food bank to mitigate food insecurity. By engaging with your local community, you’re better qualifed because you understand the cultural context and the long-term potential is much larger, as you can participate in volunteer activities for longer periods of time.

Volunteering opportunities generally allow us to serve people in communities in need, all while ofering us new experiences that can help us meet more people and introduce us to new perspectives. Not to mention, they look good on any resume. However, when participating in these experiences, we must consider who they beneft.

She also suggests that companies could improve by valuing local partners as equals in terms of their power to shape the program and beneft fnancially. With for-proft companies, a lot of the money does not go to these communities abroad, and that it’s important to consider who in the community is getting this revenue. Shared projects that open opportunities for locals and allow for mutual learning are more benefcial in the long run.

Finally, Dr. Paras says that if a student fnds that voluntourism isn’t the best ft for them after going through this whole analysis, that they should focus on local volunteering instead.

“You do not have to travel far to fnd inequality and to fnd ways to make a diference and ways to help”, she said.

A positive impact can be made in your own neighbourhood, such as volunteering at a

Considering some of the points presented in this article can help determine which experiences are worth participating in, and if we really need to go abroad to make a better society.

Dr. Paras closed of by quoting Ivan Illich’s “To Hell with Good Intentions”, an essay discussing international volunteering in Mexico.

“Come to look, come to climb our mountains, to enjoy our fowers. Come to study. But do not come to help.”

Genshiken Festival held at U of G

This joint-efort convention gathered hundreds of anime fans in Peter Clark Hall

OWEN BAIDEN, NOLAN VAN & ANDREEA BURLACU

For those of you who love anime, the Genshiken Festival was the place to be on March 12th from 5 to 9:30 p.m.This event was hosted by Wilfred Laurier University’s Ministry of Anime, the University of Waterloo’s CTRL-A Anime Club, Ontario Tech University’s Anime on Campus club, and Guelph’s own Anime Club. Organizers spent months preparing while anime fans from several universities planned their outfts for the big day.

A cosplay competition meant that cosplayers were seen all over, with some memorable depictions of popular characters like Lufy

from One Piece or Joker from Persona.

There were plenty of things to see, buy and visit during the convention. This included a fully-stafed maid cafe complete with lots of pastries, booths featuring local anime artists selling stickers, pinups, calendars and other anime memorabilia, club stands, live performances and even a Super Smash Bros Ultimate tournament!

The maid cafe was a highlight of the evening, as many described it as an essential part of Japanese culture. Their menu included crepes, tiramisu, and mufns, which were served by volunteer

maids. Some of these volunteers happened to have maid outfts in their closets while others relied on Amazon.

Many clubs also set up booths for this special event, such as the UofG KPop Club and Gryphon Gaming.

Overall, the event was a massive success. It will no doubt be eagerly anticipated by convention goers if the clubs choose to host again next year. Thanks to WLU’s Ministry of Anime, UWO’s CTRL-A, OTU’s Anime on Campus, and UoG’s Anime Club Genshiken for hosting! We eagerly await the next convention.

“An immense pleasure to read ... The love of invertebrates and the complexity of human behaviour are beautifully married in this imaginative thriller ... The invertebrates are truly fantastic. The murders are clever and gruesome ... A riveting novel that is diffcult to put down ... I thoroughly enjoyed it”

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REWARD: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SIGN?

Published by Fire Ant Press. Mark Coakley also wrote the critically-acclaimed true-crime classics Hidden Harvest and Tip and Trade (ECW Press).

Buy paperbacks, audiobooks and Kindle at amazon.com/author/markcoakleybooks ... or search amazon.ca Ebooks and free samples: markcoakleybooks.com

What actually happened with the CSA election?

Anonymous meme pages, a lack of transparency and a forged email have contributed to one of the most controversial Central Student Association (CSA) elections of all time.

It’s been so bad that online voting has been replaced with a paper ballot system. It’s left candidates feeling like they’re unable to make change and it’s left students with a sour taste in their mouth when they think about an association that is supposed to be for the students.

The Meme Page Endorsements

An email was sent on March 2 to the presidential candidates, Shaima Alam and Adam Ratkowski. The email was from the anonymous instagram page, @uogconfessions.

“The University of Guelph Instagram pages of @uog_memes and @uofgconfessions are looking to endorse one of you in the upcoming elections. Simply fll out the following short questionnaire for a chance to be featured, and please have your answers submitted no later than Saturday, March 4th,” the email stated.

Alam replied to the email, saying that when she started working for the CSA, she noticed where the gaps were in the system and wanted to create change that allowed students to view the association in a more positive light.

“Just even conceptually, it's very misunderstood in the community,” she said. “I wanted to change that.”

@uogconfessions reached out to Alam to tell her she was the can-

didate they had chosen to endorse. In the email, @uogconfessions said, “the fact that the other candidates did not reach out to us, we have decided to go with your campaign.”

For Alam, this email from @uogconfessions seemed like a dream come true. When combined, the instagram pages have over 30,000 followers. Alam said she felt very confdent throughout the frst week of her campaign. The email from @uogconfessions came as a pleasant surprise to Alam.

“I thought that this was an exciting turn, like I didn’t know where this was going,” she said.

However, when Alam went to confrm whether pages could endorse her for the election, the CSA elections ofce said endorsements weren’t allowed as part of their election policy and bylaws.

Following the disapproval of the CSA, the anonymous instagram account @uog_memes posted an endorsement for a diferent presidential candidate, Adam Ratkowski.

In the days following that post, @uog_memes posted in their instagram bio “I’m voting for Adam, you do you though.” The statement has since been removed from their instagram.

In addition to the endorsements, @uog_memes has since made at least fve posts criticizing the CSA for a lack of transparency when it comes to their electoral process.

Ratkowski said in an email to The Ontarion that he hoped to create a more transparent and democratic student union that respects the entirety of the student body.

“I’ve seen and experienced

frst-hand the specifc impediments to success our undergraduate students face, and I’m hoping to alleviate them to a substantial degree,” he wrote. “I’m hoping to make life more afordable for the student body along with ensuring that I provide further services that make student life easier.”

@uog_memes has also been openly criticizing the CSA for “rigging the election” against Ratkowski as he is involved with the Conservative Party of Canada, according to his now-deleted LinkedIn page.

A meme posted on March 6. shows Bernie Sanders with the CSA logo over his face. The caption reads, “I am once again asking for you to not promote your preferred candidate.”

The CSA Elections Ofce made the decision to require all candidates to block instagram pages including @uog_memes, @uogconfessions and @uognews. This decision has since been overturned and candidates are now allowed to follow whichever social media accounts they choose.

@Uog_memes declined to comment to The Ontarion. The moderator of the r/uoguelph did not respond to The Ontarion’s request for comment.

Current CSA President, Nicole Walker said the rules were overdue for an overhaul.

“Our electoral policies and Bylaws are overdue to be updated and that will be the focus of the incoming executives and Board of Directors in preparation of the Fall By-Election,” she said in an email to The Ontarion

But the Instagram posts

turned from endorsing a specifc candidate, to criticizing the CSA for a lack of transparency throughout the entire election process. They alleged that the CSA had a “preferred candidate”, which they claimed was Alam.

This caused Alam to speak up and send an email to the CSA.

The Reddit Posts

Alam sent an email to the CSA expressing her frustration. Screenshots of that email were allegedly shared without her permission on instagram and the r/ uoguelph subreddit.

“I did not sign up to be defamed and run a smear campaign against by @uog_memes when I ran in this election,” Alam wrote.

She continued to say that the elections team hadn’t checked in or released any statement and she felt the situation was “very absurd, and truly isolating.”

“So many folks are reaching out to tell me that they voted for Adam because @uog_memes told them to, but after looking at my campaign or bio regretted it’ll (sic) but can’t change their vote,” she wrote.

Alam said she has noticed a trend occurring on social media with deleting comments.

“Things like supporting me or… saying @uog_memes [or @ uogconfessions] reached out to me - those comments get deleted,” she said. “Like I didn't know a Reddit mod would be biased.”

She related it to how comments defending her were immediately deleted from the @uog_memes page - the same page criticizing the CSA for a lack of transparency.

“They're able to control the narrative,” Alam said. “They're able to hide anything they don't want people knowing and that's so weird.”

Alam specifed that she didn’t think @uog_memes created the situation. She felt that this was a “perfect storm and CSA isn't saying anything against it.”

Alam was also able to hold a Reddit AMA on March 24 after the CSA overturned its decision about endorsements.

Walker said criticizing the CSA behind an anonymous account, like @uog_memes is easy, but running in the election and working toward bringing about the change students want to see is the difcult task.

“If students want to see changes on campus, run in the CSA Elections, get involved and be that change,” Walker said.

The leaked emails

In addition to Alam’s email to the CSA, there have been several other emails leaked online during the campaign and election period. The emails range from telling candidates to not receive endorsements from @uog_memes and @uog_confessions, to blocking both pages, to extending the election.

In particular, one email was leaked that told people the election was going to be extended until March 17.

The Ontarion, along with Computing and Communication Services, (CCS), has determined that this email was falsifed. CCS confrmed that there was no email sent with information about extending the election until March 17 from

Leaked emails, anonymous meme pages, conspiracy theories and a ballot with a glitch all contributed to one of the most chaotic CSA elections ever

TAYLOR PIPE

the alleged sender's email address.

The falsifed email claimed that the election would be extended because of the endorsements made on social media.

The frst email that was shared on social media was sent to the @uog_confessions page by Alam, when she explained she was unable to receive endorsement due to CSA bylaws.

Once these emails were leaked, they were almost immediately published through Instagram stories on @uog_memes and Reddit posts. The comments ranged from conspiracy theories, to sympathy for Alam, to wondering what the CSA is actually doing to remain transparent during its election process.

Additionally, there were a signifcant number of abusive comments and personal attacks on Alam and Walker from commenters.

“I'm just hoping that we learn a lot from this election process and that from the knowledge obtained, we're able to make concrete improvements to the functioning of our student union,” Ratkowski said to The Ontarion in his email.

However, alleged emails were taken out of context, according to Walker.

“This is the frst elections where candidates have been screenshotting and circulating emails on social media,” Walker said. “When the CRO sends out an email, they understand the context of the email, but when the average student reads it, it can cause confusion since they may not know the background information for a

particular decision.”

Walker also acknowledged that there are gaps in the CSA’s policies and bylaws that need addressing and are committed to completing the review prior to the Fall By-Elections.

“The issue with individuals screenshotting and publishing emails is that the screenshots were taken out of context and used in an attempt to delegitimize the CSA and our Electoral process,” Walker said.

Part of the process the CSA undertakes on a regular basis is hosting board meetings, along with an Annual General Meeting, (AGM). This year, the AGM was postponed and an emergency meeting was held instead.

The Lack of Transparency

In an Instagram story posted on Mar. 14, @uog_memes posted a statement saying the CSA having a private meeting about the topic is “lunacy.” They encouraged everyone to have their voice heard by getting involved.

“Whether you believe that the election was run unfairly or you don’t want them to cancel/ redo the election… you should contact the board of directors for your specifc college and tell them how you want them to vote,” they wrote.

When the meeting commenced, the chair of the CSA board noted that the executives were overstepping by switching the AGM to an emergency meeting. The chair also reminded everyone of the Board’s policies in regards to leaking emails and confdential communications within the association.

The emergency meeting included an in-camera discussion. This meant only members whose participation was pertinent to the discussion were allowed to stay.

After four hours, the board emerged with the decision to hold a paper ballot voting session from March 27 until April 5.

Following the emergency meeting, an email was sent to students explaining that the election would be shifting to a paper ballot voting format.

“The CSA Elections Team was notifed last Friday that the CSA 2023 General election was ascertainably compromised,” the email stated.

Walker said this was adequate in terms of remaining transparent

with the student body.

At the time of publication, the CSA has yet to release a public statement aside from an email to the undergraduate population.

“The information doesn’t need to be released to the public because the Central Student Association doesn’t serve the public,” she wrote. “We serve the undergraduate student population, in which all our undergraduate members received a written statement via email immediately following the Board of Director meeting.”

The Online Voting Glitch

In that email to the undergraduate student population, the CSA said the ballot was “ascertainably compromised.” The email did not go into specifcs surrounding the compromised ballot.

Alam said she noticed there was an issue with the online ballot at the beginning of the voting period.

“The huge concern I had was that the ballot never had our candidate statements.,” Alam said, “So, people are going in and voting blindly… Students were basically given a link that just had two names and nothing else. That never happens for any election.”

In a departure from previous elections, The Ontarion was not granted access to the candidates and were unable to interview them to determine their positions on policy.

Alam also said she noticed that the links were not unique, which meant anyone could vote on behalf of a student without needing their password to their university email.

The Ontarion also tested this theory during the online voting period. With our employee’s permission, we were able to sign into their email, and reach the page before the voting ballot. We did not need a password to get to the

pre-vote page. We did not proceed further so as to not jeopardize our employee’s opportunity to vote.

However, the CSA has said that not reaching a quorum was the reason they extended the voting period.

“That ballot was extended because all aspects of the ballot did not receive quorum. Extending the voting period was completely unrelated and separate from the compromised ballot,” Walker said. “The concerns related to the compromised ballot did not impact the decision to extend the voting period.”

The Social Media Speculation

In the absence of a public response from the CSA has caused conspiracy theories to go unanswered.

Without evidence, @uog_memes is claiming all of this was an attempt for the CSA to elect their “preferred candidate.”’

Other unverifed claims on social media include the CSA rigging the election and electronically stufng ballot boxes against Ratkowski.

“The online activity regarding this electoral process hasn't been too surprising but I didn't expect it to gain as much traction as it's received,” Ratkowski said. However, it seems the election and the controversy all leads back to a lack of transparency and communication between the CSA and the students it serves.

“I know a lot of people voted not for Adam or I,” Alam said. “They voted to spite the CSA.”

“This isn't even an issue about me anymore, or even this election. This is like a much bigger issue where anonymous people who have access to a lot of students are manipulating their entire ideology.”

he 0s are a st e a so is Daisy Jones & The Six

A look into the long-awaited TV adaptation of Taylor Jenkins Reid’s novel

SPENCER EGERHAZI

The story of Daisy Jones & The Six, written by Malibu Rising author Taylor Jenkins Reid, was adapted into an Amazon Prime show released on March 3. This book is about a 70s band that loosely resembles Fleetwood Mac, making for an enjoyable story to watch. Here is an honest review on this brand new show and its companion album Aurora

Daisy Jones & The Six is written in a very interesting script-styled format, as each member of the band Daisy Jones & The Six look

back at their fame in the 70s. They all are given interviews and give a run-down of everything that happened between them as a band. The show integrates the little interviews in a very excellent way. Also, the actors are all given aging makeup to look a couple decades older than when the show takes place.

The band started out as “The Six”, including members Billy Dunne, Graham Dunne, Karen Sirko, Eddie Roundtree and Warren Rhodes. After their frst album, they bring in a new member of the

band, Daisy Jones. However, as she joins the band, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.

The show was a really impressive adaptation from the book, and wasn’t disappointing in the slightest. One change was that band member Pete was left out of the Prime series despite being in the book. However, he wasn’t very important in the novel.

Each character was brought to life so vividly. They all showed vulnerable and raw sides to themselves throughout the show, encapsulating

their truest selves.

Plus, the set crew did an excellent job at making it look like it really was the 70s, with makeup and outfts designed to take viewers back to the past.

Shifting to the album, Aurora: the music was very reminiscent of 70s rock. It was very stunningly created. The highlight songs were, “Let Me Down Easy,” “Regret Me,” “The River,” and “Look At Us Now (Honeycomb).”

The songwriting was beautiful and the lyrics seemed so poetic. The instrumentals were really great, some very talented guitar players for sure. Additionally, the vocals were excellent, mainly from Riley Keough (the actress for Daisy Jones) and Sam Clafin (the actor for Billy Dunne).

Overall, Daisy Jones & The Six was a really well-done show with a beautiful album. It would be an absolute recommendation to watch.

in

The Biodiversity Photo Contest displayed the nature of photography

These winners’ amazing photos were voted to the top

SYDNEY MCKICHAN & NOLAN VAN

The Biodiversity Photo Contest, which took place on March 13 in the Bullring, had people walking around a display of naturistic photos and voting

on which one they liked best. This contest was a great way to interact with nature and show of students’ photography skills. Congratulations to the win-

ners of the Biodiversity Photo Contest! Here are the original photos they took of Guelph’s nature.

Why you should know the name Chantique CareyPayne

How U of G Varsity swim coach got her start in swimming and her team to the podium

OWEN TSIPTIS

“Excellence is a habit", these are the words that Chantique Carey-Payne lives by as the head coach for the Gryphons’ Varsity swim team. Before coaching, Carey-Payne swam at the University of Guelph as a student, lasting from 2007 until 2011. During her time on the Varsity swim team, Carey-Payne won the Gryphon Athletics' Women's Swim Team MVP on three occasions, eight CIS medals, and 11 OUA medals, 7 of which were gold.

Carey-Payne got into swimming at the age of three, after seeing her older sister swim and wanting to follow in her footsteps. She grew up in Brantford, Ontario, where she found role models in the older swimmers at the Brantford Aquatic Club as well as in Olympic swimmer Ian Thorpe.

Carey-Payne frst began coaching swimming at 12 years of age, when she volunteered as an assistant at the Brantford Aquatic Club. During high school, she

began coaching at the Brantford Aquatic Centre.

After arriving at the University of Guelph, and looking for a part-time job, Carey-Payne found the Guelph Marlins, where she began working with swimmers of all ages. She frst began to coach full-time in the Guelph community while on a gap year, after completing her Bachelor’s of Arts degree. Carey-Payne became the Gryphons’ Assistant Coach in 2015, and later became the Head Coach in 2017, and she has been coaching the Gryphons since.

One of Carey-Payne’s greatest personal achievements as a swimmer was when both she and one other Gryphon swimmer, came top 10 at U Sports Championship. Historically, Guelph had always been a top 10 school in Canada for this competition. Teams gained points based on the performance of all their swimmers in each event, meaning that teams with more swimmers would have a far

greater potential to earn points.

With only two swimmers on their roster, Guelph was at a major disadvantage.

"The two of us were determined to not be the frst women's team to not end top 10 in the country," she said. Regardless of this disadvantage, the two Guelph swimmers managed to keep Guelph in the top 10.

As for coaching, Carey-Payne explained how her greatest achievement was getting the Gryphons’ women's team to fnish in a podium spot. The women's swim team fnished 3rd at OUAs this year, and this had been one of Carey-Payne’s goals from even before she became the head coach.

Carey-Payne explains her coaching style as not being super high energy, and sometimes relies on assistants to provide that spirit. However, she is very specifc in everything that is being asked of athletes.

"There is a set of expectations

that I set at the beginning of the year," she said.

Carey-Payne aims to get the best out of her swimmers every time that they are in the pool One of her main beliefs is that all swimmers no matter the skill level can perform basic skills just as well as Olympic swimmers,

“There is no reason why you can’t streamline just as well as Michael Phelps,” she said.

Carey-Payne believes that all athletes can learn these skills, and should be able to perfect them.

Outside of swimming, Carey-Payne and her husband enjoy music, and spending time with family. Once a year, she, along with her sister and dad, sing and play instruments on stage for charity to approximately 100 guests. She says that this event is one of the things that she most looks forward to every year.

When asked about her OUA Coach of the Year Award this year, she said "That's something

that in no way was on my radar going into the meet."

She said there was “no way did i even consider it was a possibility this year." She explained how it was a great reward at the end of a challenging year, and that it was awesome to receive recognition from not only her former coaches, but also her former rivals.

She doesn't swim competitively anymore, except for once a year when she gets in the water at the alumni meet. There, she races the current team to fnd out how fast she is still able to swim. She said she still beats them “frequently.”

Carey-Payne hopes to keep achieving new goals, and is determined to get Guelph to be one of the top schools in Ontario, knowing she will work hard until that is done. When asked what’s next for her career she said, “I have no intention of leaving, I love the job. Like I said, it's my dream job.”

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SWEET POTATO SOUP

PULLED PORK PIZZA

Personal-sized Campus Bakery pizza crust with tomato sauce, BBQ pulled pork, mushrooms, red onion, green pepper and mozzarella. 13.95

APRIL 5

TOMATO BASIL SOUP

HAM & CHEESE GRILLER

Sliced ham roast with Swiss cheese and honey mustard on marble rye, grilled and served with choice of side. 11.95

APRIL 6

THAI CHICKEN SOUP

MEDITERRANEAN FISH SALAD

Haddock baked with a roasted tomato and olive salsa on a bed of crisp romaine. 11.85

APRIL 7

CLOSED - GOOD FRIDAY

HAVE A SAFE AND FUN EASTER WEEKEND!

All the best to our students preparing for exams.

You got this Gryphons!

APRIL 10

FRENCH ONION SOUP

CURRIED CHICKEN SANDWICH

Handmade curried chicken and apple salad served on a croissant with side dish. 10.95

APRIL 11

CREAMY ASPARAGUS SOUP

BEEF BOLOGNESE

A hearty classic pasta with seasoned beef, bolognese sauce, and melted cheese. Accompanied by garlic breadsticks on the side. 14.65

APRIL 12

ZUCCHINI & POTATO SOUP

SHRIMP PO’BOY PIZZA

Featuring tempura shrimp, tomato, mushroom, green peppers, and mozzarella on a personal sized crust. Served with Creole aioli dip. 14.35

APRIL 13

MINESTRONE SOUP

BACON MAC & CHEESE

Our housemade favourite featuring bacon and macaroni smoothered in cheddar cheese sauce with garlic breadsticks. 14.65

APRIL 14

CLAM CHOWDER

ROAST BEEF SAMMY

Slow roasted local beef sliced and stacked on marble rye with horseradish aioli. Paired with your choice of side. 12.95

APRIL 17

SWEET & SOUR PORK SOUP

CHICKEN OMELETTE

Grilled chicken, mushroom, and spinach stuffed egg omelette, served with choice of white, whole grain, or marble rye toast. 10.35

APRIL 18

CURRIED VEGETABLE SOUP

TACO SALAD

Seasoned beef, tomato, corn, onion, and guacamole over mixed greens and complimented wit a cilantro lime vinaigrette. 13.95

APRIL 19

BROCCOLI CHEDDAR SOUP

FALAFEL PITA

Veggie falafel with cucumber, tomato, red onion, and tahini dressing folded in a warmed pita. Served with your choice of side dish. 11.95

APRIL 20

RED LENTIL DAHL

HAM & CHEEDAR MELT

Sliced ham and smoked cheddar cheese grilled on white or whole grain panini bread. Served with choice of side dish. 12.45

APRIL 21

CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP

CRISPY FISH TACOS

Sliced hand battered fish, lettuce, and pico de gallo salsa folded in flour tortilla wraps. Served with your choice of side dish. 12.95

APRIL 24

CLOSED

END OF SEMESTER CLOSURE

We are closed to prepare for the launch of our spring and summer menu.

APRIL 25

CLOSED

END OF SEMESTER CLOSURE

We will reopen Wednesday, April 26th offering our new spring and summer menu!

APRIL 26

HAM & BEAN SOUP

VEGGIE STIR-FRY

A savoury medley of lightly sauteed vegetables with crispy seasoned tofu, served over basmati rice. 10.95

APRIL 27

CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP

CHICKEN CLUB

Grilled local chicken, bacon, lettuce, tomato, and garlic aioli on white or whole grain panini. Served with choice of side dish. 15.35

APRIL 28

MINTED PEA SOUP

SWEDISH MEATBALLS

Savoury Swedish-style meatballs served over a bed of buttery noodles. 13.95

Strikers on strike: The neverending fight for equal pay in soccer

Canada’s National Women’s Soccer Team go on strike over pay equity and budget cuts

“We are tired”, were the words of the Canadian women’s soccer team on Feb. 10, when they announced on social media that they were going on strike.

This strike is a result of concerns and frustrations over budget cuts and unequal pay when compared to the National Men’s Soccer Team.

In their social media post, the women’s team conveyed their frustrations over the signifcant lack of funding for 2023. The players expressed their “outrage and deep concern” towards Canada Soccer for the unequal compensation they are receiving, despite their recent success on the pitch and attracting corporate sponsorships.

With the World Cup less than

6 months away, the women’s soccer team is expected to perform at a world-class level without the same level of support that the men’s team received in 2022, on top of signifcant cuts to their budget. This has forced them to cut training camp days, and the number of players and staf invited to those camps.

"Despite our strong track record of success and history-making achievements for more than a decade, we continue to be told there is not enough money to adequately fund our program and our youth teams”, the players said in their statement.

On March 2, Canada Soccer and the women’s team had reached a new interim funding agreement for 2022, after their previous

agreement expired in 2021.

Canada Soccer explained this agreement included similar terms to the deal with the men’s team, including results-based compensation and pre-game incentives. An overarching deal was still being negotiated when the women’s soccer team decided to take this fght before parliament.

Members of the team explained to a committee of MPs their frustrations with Canada Soccer, namely their lack of transparency over funding and fnancial details. Team members stated they were being treated as a mere afterthought compared to the men’s team.

Just hours before this parliamentary appearance, Canada Soccer released the details of their

proposed labour deal. This deal claimed that the women’s team would be paid equally with the men’s team for playing a 90 minute match, and would share equally in competition prize money.

Speaking in front of parliament, national team member Janin Beckie responded to this move, stating, “We feel quite disrespected by the way they went about their business this afternoon…there were terms and numbers and pieces within their statement today that has not even been communicated to us. So that was a bit of a shock to us."

What can you do to help?

On March 22, the University of Guelph hosted a HeforShe gender equality conference in collaboration with the Lang School of Business and the men’s Gryphon's Football team.

The keynote speaker for this event was former Olympic soccer star, Diana Matheson. Matheson is set to create Canada’s frst ever women’s professional soccer league, called Project 8, expected to launch in 2025.

She discussed the various barriers and challenges faced by female athletes on a national level, and the importance of support:

“Support in the way you can. If that means you’re telling your friends about it, sharing on social media, watching a game, starting a supporter’s section, whatever way you can”, she said. She continued by emphasizing the importance of having a professional women’s league, “Our job is to actually create the thing, so there’s actually something people can support. Right now we’re lacking in things to support.”

GRYPHON SPORTS ROUNDUP

WOMEN'S HOCKEY FIGURE SKATING

WOMEN'S TRACK & FIELD

The jugglers that everyone sees, but no one knows

If you have ever had a class or a midterm in Rozanski Hall, It is almost certain that you have witnessed projectile magic performed by the University’s Juggling Club.

While most of us have encountered the juggers throughout our time at Guelph, how many of us have ever actually spoken with, or learned anything about the juggling community? What is this hidden sport known as juggling?

“A lot of people, when they think of juggling, they think of circus performers… when in reality, juggling is an entire community with festivals meeting up constantly,” said Devin Forrest, the president of the Jugglers of the University of Guelph (or JOUG).

“Juggling is a way to be creative, It helps with hand-eye coordination and… it's a great social

activity in general,” said Forrest.

The act of juggling involves keeping several objects, called props, moving through the air as the juggler continuously catches and throws them. The props can be thrown to various heights and in diferent orders to create diferent juggling patterns.

“One thing a lot of people don't know is we have our own way of classifying juggling tricks called site swap,” explained Forrest.

This classifcation system allows jugglers to easily share and develop new tricks with others in the community. While this system can sound very complicated for a beginner, Forrest reassures us that anyone can learn juggling.

“Even some of the most complex looking tricks can be very simple once you actually learn the

steps,” said Forrest.

Students are encouraged to come out and try juggling with JOUG, where they can expect a very warm welcome.

The goal of JOUG is “to spread the hobby of juggling, to help people improve, and to provide jugglers a place to come and socialize.”

It is no mistake that you encounter the jugglers in Rozanski Hall, since performing in front of students can be valuable.

“When you come in and see us juggling, maybe you want to try it, and that's how we can fnd a lot of members,” said Forrest. “But the main reason we juggle in here is because of the high ceilings.”

The high ceilings provide enough room to comfortably juggle all sorts of props. While we often think of balls as the most common-

Dragon Boat vs. Rowing: Know the difference!

A look at a highly competitive team sport that ofers its members ftness, technique, friends, and high adrenaline races

OLIVER BULLINGHAM

When you hear “dragon boat”, what comes to mind? A boat that looks like a dragon? 2 dozen people wielding wooden oars? A drummer pounding and yelling, as the captain steers and directs the crew? If that’s what comes to mind… then you already have a great idea of what dragon boat is.

“Dragon boating is basically a really big boat with 20 paddlers, and a drummer and a steers,” said Audra Nicholson. Nicholson is the most senior coach of The University of Guelph’s Dragon Boat Club, as well as a gold-medalist at the 2015 and 2017 World Dragon Boat Championships, and 2022 Club Crew World Championships.

“It's commonly confused with rowing,” Nicholson explained. “But in rowing, you go backwards and in dragon boating, you go forwards. So

basically, it's a big canoe… but it's not as leisurely. It's a lot more intense, especially when you're competing.”

The team trains at the University year-round, and competes throughout the summer at regattas, also called dragon boat festivals. At these events, the team races against other universities or dragon boat clubs to achieve the fastest race times. The most common events are the 200m, 500m and 2000m races.

“The 200m, and the 500m are straight races. And the 2000m is the 500m course, done four times in a circle,” said Nicholson. “So those include turns which are very intense, especially when there's three or four boats going into one turn at once, there’s a lot of crashes.”

These action-packed races are

just one of the many experiences provided by being in the dragon boat club. The club also has several goals which it seeks to fulfl for all new and current members.

“We have four pillars,” explained Nicholson. “Get ft, build technique, make friends and be competitive or race.”

From a ftness perspective, the club aims to “build strength and cardiovascular health together, both in and out of practices,” said Nicholson.

The dragon boat club practices on Guelph Lake during the summer, while during the winter, they paddle beside the pool in the Athletic Centre using wooden seat adapters that mimic a dragon boat. The team also practices high intensity interval training (or HIIT) during the winter, which

ly juggled prop, Forrest says “people juggle all sorts of stuf, like knives, torches, in reality, you can just pick up three things and try to juggle them.”

“The most unique or hardest prop I've used is at festivals,” Forrest continued. “There's a game known as toilet paper juggling, where you have rolls of toilet paper, you pull of like the frst little bit so that it goes everywhere, and you try to juggle it for as long as possible.”

If this peaks your interest, the juggling club meets every Monday and Thursday in Rozanski Hall

are a series of exercises on land that develop strength and stamina.

Nicholson says that another goal of practices is to “build technique together to both prevent injury and increase efciency.”

“In dragon boating, if all 20 people are paddling exactly the same, you're going to go way faster than 20 people paddling in diferent stroke rates or techniques,” she explained.

This idea of being in sync and working together goes beyond paddling in the boat. It extends to forming a positive community that brings everyone up.

“Whether it's through practices, socials, training camp, regattas… we want our teammates to become friends and become a family,” said Nicholson. “A lot of my good friendships have come from Dragon Boating.”

If you are looking to improve

from 5:30-7:30 p.m., which Forrest says is an easy way to start juggling.

For those of you outside of Guelph, Forrest recommends going to your local juggling meetup, and learning to juggle three balls. From there, you can keep adding balls and developing more complicated juggling techniques.

“Juggling is like a very learnable skill,” said Forrest. “There are people that come here and they're like, Okay, I'll give it a try. But I have no hand-eye coordination whatsoever. Then, next thing I know, they're juggling four balls.”

your ftness and make friends, the dragon boat club encourages interested students to reach out through their Instagram page @ ugdbc. The club is always open to new members.

“The fall is our time to recruit,” Nicholson explained “We get a lot of new people who have probably never paddled before, which is really great.”

“But you can join later in the semester,” said Nicholson. “It's just more of a learning curve because we move past the beginning, and we're doing more advanced stuf. But we do accept all levels no matter the time of the year.”

And to leave you with one fnal message, if you ever doubt the diference between dragon boat and rowing, remember Nicholson’s words: “No, it's not rowing… I paddle forwards. I don't go backwards. It takes [people] a while to understand.”

Inside the jugglers of Rozanski Hall: what they do, how they do it, and the importance of juggling to their community.

Planet Bean Book Club

• 5:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m.

• Planet Bean Cofee, Wyndham Street

• Free! Discussing “Sourdough” by Robin Sloan

Paradigm Shift TEDxGuelphU

9:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.

Performance Wing, MacKinnon Building

$22 general admission.

Creating 3D Scenes in Blender

7:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.

• 404 York Road

• $10 for members. $20 for non-members. Email workshops@edvideo.org to register

Jesse Cook

8:00 p.m.

River Run Centre $39 under 30

Intro to Camera Operation

• 6:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.

• 404 York Road

• $25 for members. $50 for non-members. Email workshops@edvideo.org to register

2 2

Cabaret

• 7:30 p.m.

• River Run Centre

• Presented by Royal City Music Productions

2 30

GAIN Fest

• 7:30 p.m.

• Multiple locations and times

The Guelph & Area Independent & New Music & Arts Festi val back for another year of local music, arts and entertainment at multiple Downtown Guelph businesses

Just For Laughs Road Show

8:00 p.m.

• River Run Centre

• $55 adult. $39 under 30

Sensational Snakes

1:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.

Arboretum

• $60. Buy tickets at www.arboretum.uoguelph.ca

I Heart Beer & Taco Festival

2:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. / 6:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. Sleeman Centre

19+

Protest The Hero

7:00 p.m.

• Onyx, 12 Wyndham Street

• $35

2 30

Introductory Beekeeping

• 9:00 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.

• Townsend House, Honey Bee Research Centre

PETS OF THE MONTH

MEET MOCHI!

Breed: British Shorthair

Photo: Mia, Aaron & Ashton

Age: 1

Fun Fact: He gets the zoomies a lot and keeps us up all night, but he also loves a cuddle

MEET BEANS & TOAST!

Breed: Fancy rats

Photo: Yasmina Haddad

Age: 1.5

Fun Fact: They go crazy for gold sh crackers and whipped cream

MEET WINSTON!

Breed: Siamese

Photo: Emily Driscoll

Age: 7

Fun Fact: He keeps swiping my croissants out of his owner’s hands

MEET LILLY!

Breed: Shorkie

Photo: Julia Kaczmarek

Age: 7

Fun Fact: Lilly loves boating, sitting on the top of the couch, and her brother Charlie

CROSSWORD EASY SUDOKU

University Centre

Room 264

University of Guelph

N1G 2W1

ontarion@uoguelph.ca

519-824-4120

Editorial: x 58250

Advertising: x 58267

Accounts: x 53534

EDITORIAL STAFF

Editor-in-Chief

Taylor Pipe

Staf Reporter

Eleni Kopsaftis

Arts & Culture Editor

Andreea Burlacu

Sports & Health Editor

Oliver Bullingham

PRODUCTION STAFF

Photo & Graphics Editor

OPEN POSITION

Across

1- Springsteen’s “Born in the ___”

4- Given medicine

9- West Point initials

13- Pal of Piglet

14- Bring out

15- ___ a million

16- Bawdy stage show

18- San Marino surrounder

19- Put ___ to it (halt)

20- Ceylon, now 22- Most orderly 25- Color of raw silk 26- Autocratic Russian rulers 28- Fourscore 32- Purchase 35- Attempts 37- Grave robber 38- At the drop of ___ 40- Brother of Moses 42- Muscle quality 43- Bell-shaped fower

Pertaining to the moon

Down

1- Citifed

2- Immerse

3- Main blood vessel

4- Most profound

5- Binges, briefy

6- Arab market

7- Old French coins

8- Tractor pioneer John

9- Untutored

10- Playwright O'Casey

11- Dairy product

12- Author Seton

15- Ofshore sight

17- Mississippi senator Trent

21- Diamonds, in slang

23- Gilbert of "Roseanne" 24- Experiment 27- Word with truth or blood 29- Shout in derision 30- Bluefn, e.g.

31- Primordial substance

32- Inner layer of a quilt 33- Nope 34- Bush alma mater

Fill in the empty squares so that each of the digits 1 through 9 appear once in each row, column, and 3-by-3 block.

HARD SUDOKU

Graphic Designer

Paige Stampatori

OFFICE STAFF

Executive Director

Patrick Sutherland

Accountant

Laurie Arnold

Circulation Director

Salvador Moran

Administrative Assistant

Jaidyn McCrae

Marketing Assistant

Jamie Tjeng

BOARD OF DIRECTORS

President

Alex Lefebvre

Chair of the Board

Tasha Falconer

Vice President Finance

*OPEN POSITION

Vice President Communications

OPEN POSITION

Staf Representative Paige Stampatori DIRECTORS

Thea Basic

BOB'S DOGS CROSSWORD CONTEST

For your chance to win two Bobs dog’s and two pops, just complete the crossword, snap a picture, and send it to puzzles@theontarion.com by April 20th at 3 p.m. Winners and anyone else who flls in the crossword correctly are announced in each issue. Winners can arrange a physically distanced pickup of their voucher by emailing the same address.

Last issue’s winning puzzle was submitted by Sierra Thomson!

We also received correct submissions from Charlotte Chen, Breah Snow, Paul Desguire, Jia-Qian Xu, Sandra Nyman, Jenica Pires, and Hannah Abush. Better luck next time!

ANSWERS FROM ISSUE 194.3

Jordana Glowinsky Avneet Grewal

Paula Henry-Duru

Katelynn Huong

Which Trudeau haircut are you?

1. What is your favourite Liberal Party scandal?

A. SNC Lavalin

B. WE Charity

C. Federal election in the middle of a pandemic

D. Aga Khan visit

2. If you were a broken campaign promise, which one would you be?

A. Electoral reform

B. Elimination of all drinking water advisories on reserves

C. National childcare program

D. National pharmacare plan

3. Which failed Trudeau opponent do you most identify with?

A. Stephen Harper

B. Andrew Scheer

C. Erin O’Toole

D. Pierre Pollivre (stay tuned)

4. What is the best political quality a PM should have?

A. Takes selfies regularly

B. Cool hair bro

C. Speaks moistly

D. Snowboard instructor

5. Who do you owe your current job to?

A. Jagmeet Singh

B. Jagmeet Singh

C. Jagmeet Singh

D. My dad

6. What’s your favourite province?

A. Quebec

B. Ontario

C. Quebec & Ontario

D. All of the above

7. What is your preferred method of avoiding responsibility for a scandal?

A. No comment

B. Uno reverse card

C. Ask your friends to investigate it

D. Mr. Speaker, I am pleased to work with the conflict of interest and ethics commissioner to answer any questions she may have, that is what Canadians expect of the prime minister and that is exactly what I am doing.

8. What’s your major?

A. Undeclared

B. Aggie

C. Theatre Studies

D.

Mostly A’s: Bad Haircut Trudeau

Today just isn’t your day. Sometimes things are just outside your control and there is nothing you can do about it. You’ll want to put on a brave face and pretend you don’t look like you offended your barber.

Mostly B’s: Fake Cowboy Trudeau

You firmly believe in the phrase “save a horse, ride a cowboy.” You walk that fine line between having good old-fashioned fun and being mildly offensive. Everyone says you’re their favourite aunt or uncle, but they always wonder why you smell like legalization and love to eat All Dressed Chips.

Mostly C’s: Sexy Drama Teacher

Trudeau

They see you rollin’. They hatin'. People think you might not be ready for the responsibility of following in your fathers footsteps, and they would be right. But you don’t let that ruin your day. You stroll down the street with a popped collar and hair that dares your critics to “just watch me".

Mostly D’s: Pandemic Scru Trudeau

You are the sexiest of the Trudeau’s. You might have even gone viral once or twice. Your greying beard symbolizes the mid-life crisis you’re going through. But after you get through this, you’ll embarrass yourself by singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the Queen's funeral.

Gullible in Guelph?

Study suggests more people gullible than previously thought

PATRICK SUTHERLAND

Arecent study by Dr. Mark Idowu at the University of Guelph sheds new light on predicting gullibility.

Dr. Idowu suggests that gullibility may be far more common than previously thought, paving the way for new understandings of what, and how, people fall for things.

“This really is groundbreaking, if I may say so myself” said Dr. Idowu, noting that there are several factors that determine gullibility.

According to the study, the most common predictor that one is gullible is (story continued on page 37)

Parking Services have escalated to slashing tires

In this crackdown on illegal parking, the University is moving away from paper, and towards scissors

OLIVER BULLINGHAM

In a move to acknowledge its country roots, the University of Guelph took inspiration from Carrie Underwood and has begun slashing tires.

“Parking is a privilege,” said the Emperor of Parking Services. “And only the wealthiest students deserve that privilege.”

This move, which came into effect on March 1, has allowed Parking Services staf to slash the tires of any car that is illegally parked on the U of G campus.

In its frst week of being implemented, Parking Services slashed all the tires on two municipal fre trucks as they were responding to an emergency at the Summerlee Science Complex.

“No one is above the law,” said a Parking Services employee holding a machete in each hand. “Next time they should try buying a permit.”

Luckily, it was a false alarm and no one was harmed. Although, several bystanders on the scene stated that they saw this Parking Ser-

vices employee pull the fre alarm, knowing it would bring trucks covered in slashable tires.

When asked to comment on these allegations, the employee shouted “CAN’T STOP THE CHOP!” and quickly ran in the direction of the closest parking lot.

Fears of Parking Services’ employees taking things too far is a shared sentiment among students, especially commuting students, many of whom have been left stranded at the University for days.

“Everybody thinks we’re the bad guys,” said the Emperor. “But we ofer afordable “exercise” parking passes, which lets the poor students burn some calories as they complete a half-marathon to reach the campus.”

“We’re actually improving student services. Most students won’t even be afected by this change as long as they have a parking pass.”

According to recent statistics put out by the University, over 99% of driving students have received

parking tickets because they could not aford parking passes. Only the top 1% seem to be able to aford their prices.

One student, who accidentally parked in a red coloured lot when they only held the yellow parking permit, was shocked when they returned to their car and saw their tires slashed, and written in yellow spray paint across their car, “Are you colourblind?”.

Unfortunately, the student was actually colourblind and is now considering suing for discrimination.

Parking Services is currently in the process of proposing a measure to take enforcement one step further by allowing employees to crush illegally parked cars into little cubes. These cubes would then be used to build a monument to Parking Services. This measure has received widespread praise within the University’s Board of Directors and it could be implemented as early as April 20st, 2023.

Don’t be a Dick: Nicknames of Richard outlawed

This big Richard problem erected protest across campus

ANDREEA BURLACU

Many parents endure a 9 month pregnancy, and care for their bundle of joy until he turns 18, only for that adult to become a “Dick”. To protect this issue from penetrating young adults, a 2023 proposed Guelph

“There are just too many Dicks on campus,” said frst-year student Penny Tration.“Let alone on Tinder. If I see another Dick texting me ‘U up?’ at 3 a.m, I will call the authorities.”

This is a dangerous time to be a Dick. For each time a Richard breaks this law, they will be fned 6.90. These monies will be donated directly to local women’s shelters.

Guelph men’s group Pen15 Power spoke out against this new legislation last Friday.

“It’s a grown man’s right to be a Dick,” they shouted across locker rooms campus-wide.

Guelph professors suggest this wouldn’t be a controversial

issue if “Dick” wasn’t a nickname for “Richard”. Though this name

has been around since the thirteenth century, many are confused about its origins. The Contrarion attests that if you want to know how to get Dick from Richard, you should just ask him nicely.

In fact, we went around the block for answers to this long, hard dilemma.

“University is the perfect time to be a Dick,” explained Dick Tubigg. “Dollar beers, moving people’s chairs when they’re about to sit down, butting people in dining hall lines…”

“Being a Dick leaves a legacy. Dick Nixon, Dick Cheney, there’s a long, long history there,” added Dr. Glen Smith, professor of American History and founder of the Conservative Club.

“I don’t know why people call me Dick. My name is Steve,” said an anonymous source. Although many Dicks aren’t pleased with this change, some Richards are quite satisfed.

“Please stop calling me Dick,” Richard Small demanded.

The great lesbian shortage of 2023

ueer women are harder to fnd on dating apps than actual hobbits

University is a time to fnd yourself by fnding desperate people to date. For straight women, there are plenty of fsh-holding men in the sea. Yet for lesbians, the fantasy of a love story can seem more like a fantasy novel.

First-year vagitarian Anita Bang just wanted to share an oat milk latte with a special someone and get her salad tossed once in a while. But, when Bang downloaded Tinder, it took her mere swipes to get from girls to gremlins.

“I’ve already been ghosted by the other 5 lesbians on Tinder,” she said. “I thought in university I was supposed to explore my sexuality, not Middle Earth!”

Although Bang wasn’t sure about love at frst sight, she certainly wasn’t expecting to match with a hobbit. As a history major, her classes did not prepare her for this.

“The Ancient Greeks knew a lot about mythic creatures,” she noted. “But I wonder, what would Sappho have to say about this?’

Bang decided to give the hobbit a chance. It was a shock dating someone half her height, but their mutual love of mushrooms brought them closer. Also, fnding a basement apartment in Guelph is already impressive, let alone a comfortable hobbit-hole.

The hobbit, who is obviously an aggie, seemed like a perfect match. But, Bang quickly realised they could never be the lord of her ring.

“I was drawn to how they loved growing things,” she said, about their mutual love for nature. “But I just wasn’t expecting them to grow so much hair on their feet.”

“That’s not what I thought they meant when they said ‘Let’s

mow the lawn’.”

A similarly frustrated frst-year Connie Linguis gave up dating apps entirely and took a more extreme approach to fnding a date. Inspired by the Chronicles of Narnia, Linguis explored random wardrobes on

Aggie O-Week Package to come with brown Blundstones

dancing

TAYLOR PIPE

While the rest of the University gets a bunch of unwanted fyers in their O-Week welcome package, the Ontario Agricultural College (OAC) has stepped up their game by providing the ultimate Aggie uniform piece: brown Blundstone boots.

“It’s the least they can do,” said Shawn Haybale, a second-year OAC student. “When I started here, I had to buy them out of pocket on top of my school shovel, hoe and rake.”

There is no question that Blundstones are an essential part of being an Aggie. Yet Haybale said that paying for farming tools and swanky boots was hard during his frst year of college.

“It’s really nice that they’re

providing the boots now,” he said. “As for the farming equipment, it’s weird that I wasn’t allowed to bring mine from home and had to buy tools the professor designed. But I guess the free boots make up for it.”

Haybale explained that now that the OAC students have the same footwear, only people with the footwear will be allowed to attend the Aggie Pub nights on campus.

“If you’ve got the boots, come on in,” Haybale said excitedly. “If you’ve got the OAC jacket too, even better… You can skip the line!”

Haybale got very serious for a moment before he said, “If you don’t have the boots you can al-

ternatively dress like a scarecrow from head-to-toe and still be admitted to the event.”

campus.

“The lesbians had to be hiding somewhere,” she said. “I thought they might still be in the closet.”

In a surprising turn of events, Bang and Lingus met while interviewing for this article. They’ve

been dating for a couple months, and they prove that love can be more than a fantasy. All you need is to fnd Sam to your Frodo.

“Yeah, we’ll take what we can get and try to enjoy to long journey ahead of us,” they agreed.

Haybale said the work shoes are perfect to Boot, Scoot and Boogie the night away before your 8 a.m. Equine Management class that defnitely doesn’t make you smell like a horse at all.

“Aggies have become the

jocks of U of G - they’re very cool,” he said. “Chasing after runaway cattle is more of a workout than anything a football guy can do.”

Haybale continued on to say that though all OAC students will have the same shoes, that doesn’t mean you can lump them all together.

“All agricultural students are unique in their own way and they all study diferent aspects of agriculture, from caring for animals to butchering them for meat,” he said.

He added that he “just thinks

it’s neat” that all the Aggie kids from diferent small towns will be able to identify one another on campus. During O-Week, all Blundstone wearers will be recruited to learn line-dancing and tractor-pulling, essential Guelph traditions.

However, Haybale said that that friendship wasn’t the best part of these classic brown boots.

“I mean, if I step in shit, nobody can tell,” he said while laughing and sinking his leg knee-deep into a cow paddy.

“That’s just how we like to roll in the OAC.”

"I mean, if I step in shit, nobody can tell"

They’re comfy, great for line

and you can’t even tell that someone’s stepped in manure

Ontario embracing postapocalyptic competition to distract from high cost of living

Ontario’s version of The Hunger Games will be sponsored by Loblaws and have contestants competing in grocery-based challenges

On March 12, Progressive Conservative (PC), ProvincialOverlord Doug Ford and President’s Choice (PC) Overlord Galen Weston held a press conference to announce the beginning of a new annual tradition: The Hunger Games.

“My friends, we are partnering with the great, understanding folks at President’s Choice and Loblaws on a new initiative that will ensure lowered grocery prices for the top one percent,” said Ford.

“Loblaws was so gracious to freeze prices on no name® products, before artifcially infating prices for personal gain, that we thought - hey, they have a project in need of funding and why shouldn’t it come from the government of Ontario,” said Ford. “It’s not like we have a better place to invest in, our healthcare system is thriving.”

ing groceries into reusable Sobeys bags, to inserting quarters into No Frills shopping carts and even searching for a pack of chicken thighs under $8.

“Spoiler alert - there’s no winning that one,” Ford said while laughing before accidentally inhaling a bee and choking.

After composing himself, Ford went on to explain that he ofered Galen Weston Jr. land on the greenbelt for the tournament facilities.

“He came to my daughter’s Stag and Doe, and I just thought it was the perfect opportunity to make a deal,” he said.

Weston agreed with Ford before gently intertwining his fngers with the Ontario Premier’s for all to see.

“We’ve become partners in business and in life throughout this endeavour,” he said. “I couldn’t be more excited to help the premier siphon more money out of the taxpayers in Ontario.”

Even though this project is widely supported by most members of parliament, Jagmeet Singh was seen doing the three-fnger salute in solidarity with the university students entering the games.

across Canada were called on to discuss combatting the healthcare crisis. He stated that Danielle Smith, premier of Alberta was “here for it,” and Quebec premier Fran ois Legault “loved that journey for Ontario.”

questions.

On March 27, the contestants of the frst Hunger Games were picked out of a Toronto Raptors snapback lovingly donated by Drake.

The contestants ranged from a Software Engineer from McMaster, to an English Major from York and a career nepo-baby from the University of Toronto. Each of the contestants were sponsored by

various regional groups.

“I don’t think I really need to be here. I have a position as the Chief Financial Ofcer at my dad’s company waiting for me once I smoke these peasants,” said Cody N. Tower, the University of Toronto Candidate. “I also have a penthouse that my daddy bought for me, so me and generational wealth are ending our situationship and becoming

Ford explained that this project, the Ontario Hunger Games, (HG), would be played by 12 students from diferent universities. Throughout the game, students will compete in diferent skill-testing challenges from pack-

“All I can say to these incredibly brave students is may the odds be ever in your favour,” said Singh before he cried while removing the TikTok app from his government phone.

In response to Singh, Ford said he consulted with other premiers about the Hunger Games on Feb. 7, a day when premiers

“Look folks, we don’t care about the youth of today that will build Ontario tomorrow,” Ford said. “I know we’re facing a grocery price crisis, and times are tough. I can’t aford to even keep giving you all three paid sick days… But I can relocate funding from diferent sectors like public education, healthcare and infrastructure to make an entertaining game where only boomers win because we can watch the next generation fail while we own property and can aford groceries.”

Galen Weston Jr. tried to add on to Ford’s statements, but it really didn’t add much to the conversation. Ford could see this and put a fnger on Weston’s mouth with a soft “shh.”

The PC Overlords were bombarded with questions from local media, but both giggled, held hands and skipped away from the scrum before anybody could ask

a full-blown relationship… As long as they don’t get between me and my side piece.”

His opponent from the University of Waterloo, Jordan Mustang, a computer science major, said Tower is dreaming if he thinks that he can defeat the Waterloo warrior. The crowd watched as Mustang performed a fve minute keg-stand in awe.

However, the standout contestant of the day was Shawn Haybale, an Agricultural major from the University of Guelph. Haybale was modest in his brown blundstones and Gryphons toque, but it was his actions that stood out the most.

Haybale volunteered as tribute after their best friend, Taya Ractor, was chosen. Ractor was unable to participate because she was hungover going out with her friends to dollar beers.

“[Ractor] was going through it when the names were chosen, so I fgured I would go for it,” Haybale said. “I would love the opportunity to win the grand prize.”

That grand prize Haybale is referring to is the opportunity to rent a shared bedroom in a trendy downtown Toronto condo for $2,300 a month. However, for the winner to actually receive this prize they must complete a full background and credit check, pay their rent at least six months in advance, have no pets, be a non-smoker and give the landlord their frstborn child… also it is preferred that they’re a woman.

The winner would also get a free reusable Loblaws gift back, courtesy of Galen Weston Jr. himself.

In addition to the games being announced and beginning

on April 1, GO transit also announced a new bus route to get from Windsor, to London, Cambridge then Guelph, Hamilton, Niagara Falls, St. Catharines, Burlington, Milton, Mississauga and then fnally The Capitol, Toronto. However, the bus will take approximately 16 hours for riders and only has 20 seats.

For anybody who can’t aford a GO bus ticket due to the rising cost of living, CP24 will also be carrying the ofcial Hunger Games livestream. It is worth noting that the only commercials playing during the games will be commercials starring Galen Weston Jr., his smug prick smile and his sweater vests.

“Good luck not going insane,” he said, before breaking out in maniacal laughter in a commercial that sees Weston go on to snatch candy from a toddler and kick multiple puppies down a fight of stairs.

There will also be periodic messages from Hypnotoad throughout the program in an efort to keep the general public from uprising during the games as there have been rumblings of riots if “preferred candidates” don’t win.

Even among the controversy, the contestants seem genuinely excited to be competing in the frst Hunger Games hosted in Ontario. Even if all they win is a closet in Toronto.

“It still beats Guelph,” said Haybale before walking of into the sunset on the way to the tournament.

ontestant rofles

University of Toronto ody . Tower

• Finance Major/Nepo Baby

• Sponsored by: Dad

McMaster University lexandra Ha ilton

• Engineering

• Sponsored by: Hamilton’s LRT project

Guelph

Shawn Haybale

• Agriculture

• Sponsored by: Guelphtoday.com

Waterloo ordan ustang

• Computer Science

Sponsored by: BlackBerry

Windsor arla hryslera

• Auto Manufacturing

Sponsored by: Windsor Chrysler

York licia Ballpoint

• English

• Sponsored by: GO Transit

Toronto Metropolitan University

Stella Spadina

• Creative Industries

• Sponsored by: John Tory’s Public Relations Team

Ottawa regg otalib

• Political Science

• Sponsored by: Pierre Pollievre

Queens arcus Krowning

• Business

• Sponsored by: The ghost of Sir John A. MacDonald

Western arren o bat

• Economics

• Sponsored by: London’s Rock The Park Concert series

Carleton arl arleton

• Psychology

• Sponsored by: Beaver Tails

Laurier Sa y Solar

• Science

• Sponsored by: Canadian Tire

Student Housing now offering cardboard boxes for rent on Johnston Green

Finally, an eco-friendly, low-cost housing solution!

Students all over Guelph are scrambling to fnd a place to live next year. Amidst Guelph’s housing crisis, the University of Guelph is taking cardboard steps to turn this problem into proft.

“There are just too many students this year,” said an Admissions Representative. “We don’t know how this happened.”

“Students are our number two priority,” said a Student Housing spokesperson from their gold-plated armchair located in their 5 million dollar Guelph mansion. “We want to make sure students are safe and secure, but above all else they must be proftable frst.”

Instead of constructing new student housing, which could take several years, the University has initiated a solution to immediately add over a thousand new rooms for incoming students. These new lux-

ury dorms, called Student Housing Inexpensive Temporary Shelters (or SHITS) will be dropping this summer.

“These new oases are located right in the heart of campus, only minutes away from dining halls and lecture halls,” said real estate agent Bradley Billionaire or Brock Wind. “What these sustainable private rooms lack in amenities, they make up for in location.”

These origami-inspired shelters, made from a quarter-inch thick corrugated cardboard cube, will be located across Johnston Green. They will only cost students $2500 per semester, making them the most afordable residence on campus. Students can also double or triple up in each shelter, reducing the cost by $500 for each partner.

Students living in SHITS will

also be required to purchase a full meal plan, costing $3000/semester, since campfres will be the only available cooking facilities.

These premier nature houses are the key to improving Guelph’s housing crisis and student well-being.

“Research shows that clutter can make students signifcantly less productive,” said the Student Housing spokesperson.

“Students in our new afordable housing will be able to work very efciently, since they can only keep their necessities by their sides.”

Additionally, the SHITS ensure students get fresh air and a taste for the great outdoors.

Some students are concerned about the possibility of weather, such as heavy rain or snow, causing water damage to these shelters.

The hot girl uniform: mom jeans and white sneaks

TWILA MACDENNIS

DOWNTOWN GUELPH - Our town’s very own hip and happening social scene has recently seen a boom in avant-garde fashion.

Every weekend, students take to the streets to showcase their oneof-a-kind outfts in what can only be compared to New York Fashion Week, Guelph Edition.

On a recent trip to one of Macdonell Street's most exclusive clubs, Trapper’s Alley, I had the incredible opportunity to speak with a few attendees about what has inspired this spike in innovative fashion.

“TikTok has really changed the trend cycle. Trends come and go so quickly that you really have to sift through all the things that people are telling you to buy and fnd what you actually want to wear. This is my favourite black top, it took me forever to fnd” one girl tells The Ontarion.

Her friend agrees. “Yes absolutely. Unique personal style is really important to me. It’s a great way to tell the world who you are”. She gestures to her very own chic black crop top and light-wash blue mom jeans.

Her and her small group of friends that cluster around us stand amongst a sea of other tightly packed together groups, all waiting to gain access to the legendary bar.

A quick glance at the lengthy line shows that apparently everyone else has gotten the same style memo. A hundred bright white sneakers shu e down the sidewalk beneath an infnite line of cropped black tees.

“Oh my god, I love that top!” yells another girl waiting just a bit farther up the line.

“Awww, thank you! It’s from Garage!”

“No way, so is mine,” the girl yells back while excitedly pointing to her black tank-top adorned with a strip of diamonds along the bottom of the shirt.

The interviewee turns back after the girls exchange a few more casual remarks.

“Yes, staying on top of trends is hard work these days, there’s so many micro-trends that you have to be careful not to fall for. Remember when everyone was wearing cowprint?” she looks over and asks her friend standing next to her. Her friend winces. “Oh those were dark times.” she says in agreement.

It becomes clear to me that nightlife fashion has had a complete overhaul in the past fve years. Goodbye tall heels and uncomfortable dresses, hello mom jeans and casual sneakers.

Student Housing assures them this will not be a problem.

“I’ve never been camping, but I imagine this is quite a step above sleeping in a tent in the middle of nowhere,” said a representative.

“Think about it, every package you get is in a cardboard box. Have you ever had a package arrive wet? I didn’t think so.”

Not to mention, these sustainability cubes are an efcient and eco-friendly solution.

“SHITS are fully compostable, SHITS are easy to obtain from our suppliers, and best of all, SHITS can be placed on

Johnston

“This wood-based living is afordable, quick, and still meets the sustainability requirements of the city,” McPaper added.

The default SHITS come in medium brown, but students are able to personalize their SHITS for a small additional fee. The current list of available colour add-ons are black, dark brown, light brown and green.

Thanks to Student Housing, next year Johnston Green will be covered in SHITS.

Current late-night fashion embraces an efortless comfortability that says, I look great but I didn’t try that hard.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you all wearing the same shirt?” I sheepishly ask the now growing crowd.

“Not at all! See my shirt is a tube top, her’s is a tank top, and her's has this really pretty crisscross back. They’re all super diferent”. She confdently explains to me.

“For example, I LOVE halter tops, but not everyone else does,”

one girl exclaims.

“Omg I love halter tops,” her friend next to her agrees.

“Right! Ugh we have such good style, it’s gotta be because we’re both Scorpios.” They laugh at each other. The line moves forward, the girls move closer to the entrance and I lose the tail end of their conversation to the growing sounds of music and yelling coming from inside.

I look down at my outdated skinny-jeans and chunky wedge heels and think to myself, I gotta go shopping.

“I’m not like other girls,” says the girl in the same outft as everyone else at this bar

THE HUNGER GAMES

BROUGHT

TO YOU BY LOBLAWS