A Fertile Heart - Receiving & Giving Creative Love (Key Stage 3) by fertileheart.org.uk

Key Stage 3: RSHE Secondary Pupil Copy

A Fertile Heart Receiving & Giving Creative Love

Love is creative. To have a fertile heart is to love, grow and make a positive difference.

A Fertile Heart | Receiving & Giving Creative Love Panda Press Publishing would like to thank the following contributors to A Fertile Heart: Kathryn Lycett, John Cook, Mary Dickenson, Maryanne Dowle, Bernadette Eakin, Christopher Hancox, Louise Kirk, Gavin McAleer and Rebecca Surman Thanks also to Dr Charlie O’Donnell, Joe Smiles, Michael H. Barton, Mary Flynn, Rev Dr Stephen Morgan and Fr Wayne Coughlin for their kind support. ISBN: 978-1-9164575-2-2 A Fertile Heart KS3 Scripture quotations taken from various authorised translations. Every effort has been made to locate copyright holders and to obtain permission to reproduce sources. For those sources where it has been difficult to trace the originator of the work, we would welcome further information. If any copyright holder would like us to make an amendment, please inform us and we will update our information during the next reprint. All images and illustrations used under licence. Design © 2021 Panda Press Publishing Limited Illustrations and Images: Shutterstock All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the Publisher who can be contacted at hello@fertileheart.org.uk British Library Catalogue Publication Data. A catalogue record for this publication is available from the British Library. Printed and bound in the UK and published under licence by Panda Press Publishing Ltd, 1 Newcastle Street, Stone, Staffordshire, ST15 8JU Company Number 11786188 Printed, bound and distributed in Australia by Createl Publishing, 98 Logistics Street, Keilor Park, Victoria 3042, t: 03 9336 0800, f: 03 9336 0900, www.createl.com.au Keep in touch Facebook @afertileheart Linkedin.com/company/a-fertile-heart Twitter @afertileheart visit A Fertile Heart at www.fertileheart.org.uk Version 7, September 2021

Imprimatur:

Nihil Obstat for KS2, 3 & 4: Reverend Jonathan Veasey. Bernard Longley, Archbishop of Birmingham, 30th November 2020.

A Fertile Heart | Receiving & Giving Creative Love

04/07/2018

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8e/Coat_of_arms_of_George_Stack.svg

1/1

Foreword His Grace George Stack, Archbishop of Cardiff Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel “The Glory of God is humanity fully alive”. Thus wrote St. Irenaeus in the 3rd century. His words remain true to this day. They mean that God is the creator of the gift of life. In that gift, each human person receives a share in His own creative love. His revelation in life and love, as well as through creation, is pure gift. This is the ‘grace’ of which we speak, in order that “we may have life and have it to the full” (Gospel of St. John 10:10). This truth lies at the heart of the Gospel. It is what it means to be truly human. The gift of life is bestowed by God in order that we may flourish and thrive. We do this in the first place simply by living with gratitude. We do it by responding to His love in a life of joyful communion with Him. We express it by actively engaging in the good of others so that mutual ‘flourishing’ may take place. The more we give, the more we receive. The ‘Gospel of Life’ outlined above is, indeed, ‘Good News’. It is revealed in every aspect of human nature and creation itself. This is the life-giving teaching we seek to hand on to our children who are “the messages we send to tomorrow”. The Rite of Baptism reminds us that parents are the first and best teachers of their children. The Catholic school exists primarily to educate children to receive and respond to God’s love for each one of them and for all. Our schools are designed to help parents fulfil their God given task of caring for their children in the school of love. The Catholic school is not just a place for professional education – existing for improvement in learning - important though that is. It is a place of formation, a place in which ‘lessons for life’ are imparted, received and shared. The whole school community teaches and learns these lessons in a truly Catholic environment. Human relationships are obviously at the heart of life and flourishing. We are made to relate to each other, body, mind and spirit. The physical, emotional and spiritual reality of our being are part and parcel of the ‘holy trinity’ of each one of us. Thus affective sexuality education is a crucial part of human formation. A Fertile Heart is the culmination of several years work of dedicated individuals [teachers, theologians, education advisers and parents] from within the dioceses of Birmingham, Cardiff, Clifton, Arundel and Brighton and Shrewsbury. They have worked tirelessly to create a resource which puts the human person and the flourishing of our pupils at the heart of the Catholic school. It is offered as an important aid to pupils, parents, teachers, governors and clergy to remind us all that “We are God’s work of art, created in Christ Jesus to live the good life as from the beginning God had meant us to live it” (Ephesians 2:10).

Introduction If you don’t know how a car works, you’re not likely to be able to fix it. If you don’t know something about how crops grow, you’re not likely to be a great farmer. If you don’t understand a mobile phone, you’re not likely to get the most out of it. Understanding what it is to be a human person will help us know how to think and act, and so be happy and fulfilled. This booklet is part of a curriculum that goes from Reception to Y11, comprising eleven modules for every KS3 year. A Fertile Heart offers you a vision of what it is to be human, helping you to understand yourself more deeply, and therefore make better, more informed choices. An important dimension to being human is the need for love and relationship. Another is the desire to grow and make a meaningful difference. It is important to see the connection between growing and love: love helps us grow, true growth helps us love more. We can only truly grow and make a meaningful difference if we understand our meaning and purpose, which itself comes from understanding who I already am. So, we first need to understand ourselves in our given-ness - including what it is to be human - and in our uniqueness - our personhood, thinking and choices. That is quite hard to understand at first, but basically I didn’t decide to be human, or the make-up of who I start out as - so I have to understand my ‘starting point’. Then I need to understand the end to which I am called - what full human maturity is - to be as loving as God. Once I know where I’m coming from, and where I am going, I can also understand my amazing ability to cooperate in growing, in becoming that person - and in helping others to do the same! Key to gaining correct self-understanding is the ability to think correctly. If we don’t get that process right we won’t understand ourselves correctly: we’ll be fooled by pressures that tempt us to sell ourselves short. It is truth, and our ability to reason, that protect us from this. Reason and faith are friends. We are often told that they are not, but if any faith belief is irrational, it is clearly wrong. Instead, authentic faith strengthens reason and opens it up to deeper realities. Please don’t be fooled into a false choice between faith and reason - we need them both to grow. This curriculum is completely set against the polarisation of faith and reason. The modules agree with the Catholic faith, but are founded on reason - and are therefore able to be received by all pupils of all faiths and none. They reflect logically on human experience, and encourage you to gradually learn to do the same. Central to the understanding of being human is that we are called to be ‘fertile’ - to grow and make a difference. We love doing both. What is important to understand is that, at its deepest reality, all creativity, all ‘fertility’, comes, not simply from the things we do, but rather, from the communion of loving persons. This love is revealed in what we call ‘reciprocal complementarity’. Reciprocal complementarity is when, as well as the equality of each person, the God-given differences between persons shape the relationship between them in a bond of mutual love. If you think of a doubles tennis partnership - it develops from both persons developing their own ability, and deepening the understanding and team work of the partnership. All reciprocal complementarity works like this. Reciprocal complementarity is true within God himself, of the relationship of each of us with God, and our relationships with each other. Within this creativity is the fertility of procreation, but so are all dimensions of creativity and growth. This course seeks to help you understand your deeper fertility at the heart of your personhood, and your ability to cooperate with others for the good of all. This will allow you to gradually understand your emerging biological fertility within this deeper, richer understanding of the communion of persons. From this we can understand marriage and therefore, sexuality, sex and parenthood in a richer, more beautiful way. This curriculum is not dumbed down. Some of the concepts dealt with might challenge and stretch you, but the modules have been tried and tested and found to really engage and lead on young persons. Please persevere in them. And if you do, you will find the self-knowledge gained helps you in all your other subjects, too. Whatever family you come from, we are confident you will understand the examples we use to reflect on the importance of love. And with love there always comes joy, so we do ask you to enjoy these modules too, by entering into them and engaging with your teacher and class. It would also really help if parents or others at home could join in, too. Every week your teacher may give you one of the activities to go back home with for discussion. That way, we all join in the journey, and hopefully all grow and enjoy it.

A Fertile Heart | Receiving & Giving Creative Love

Some of you will have started this course in primary school; some of you won’t: don’t worry. The first five modules of Y7 are mainly a summary of the key points of Y4-6 - as revision or to help you catch up. They start off with the three important pillars of this curriculum. Firstly, that we are made in the image of God. Secondly, that we need to think correctly in order to gradually understand what it is to be human, and what it is to be me (7a). Thirdly, that freedom cannot mean simply choosing what I want, but is about freely acting in accord with my nature, with who I am, guided by truth and love. (7b). Then we look at tolerance (7c), at what we mean by person and nature (7d), and at what we can rationally say about where we come from (7e). Module 7f is important in helping you see the transition that lies ahead of you - as your own choices gradually become the second most important factor in your life, after God’s love for you. Understanding this will steer you away from dismissing God as irrelevant, or dismissing other influences on you as no longer needed. This leads to the crucial concept of appropriate vulnerability in your relationships - learning how to gradually trust and share in a healthy way (7g). We then apply this appropriate vulnerability to your relationship with God (7h), parents and other authority figures (7i), with yourself (7j), and with friends (7k). During Y8 we will specifically look at being called to be a fertile person. Ultimately, this is not dependent on biological fertility: even if someone was unable to have children, they are what we call ‘spiritual fertility’ as much as anyone else. All fertility is primarily found in the communion of persons in love. In our experience we see that when people relate and work together in love, they are always more creative - this isn’t a coincidence! So, at the heart of growth as a fertile person, is the ability to truly be a person and relate well. Modules 8b-e reflect on the three most important dimensions of becoming a fertile person: choosing the spiritual above the physical; thinking in the right way - choosing truth above what I want to be true; and choosing love above my ego-life. The summary of 8e is crucially important for the whole curriculum. It leads us to explore God’s unique calling of you - how he is inviting you to grow and live as a fertile person (8f ). After this, we deal with some more practical issues, in the light of the deeper understanding we have gained: texting (8g), sexting (8i) and bullying (8k). Within this we also look at how appropriate fascination, respect and sensitivity for those of the other sex helps us, as we grow, to understand the complementarity of the sexes. Module 8j also introduces the importance of overcoming a desire to control, and fear, in fully maturing - things which can particularly damage relationships between the sexes. We now understand that our deepest fertility is what we have called ‘spiritual fertility’ - which is specifically connected to our personhood. Y9 is primarily about helping you to understand what we really mean by personhood, and so appreciate what true growth is. Central to this growth is learning and directing how our thinking, choosing and emotions best interact. This helps you understand adolescence more, and cooperate with your development - rather than just getting confused and frustrated by it all. As we develop, our relationships develop too. Fulfilment, ultimately, is found in self-gift (9a). This becomes clearer the more I get in touch with my deepest desires (9b). I do this through appropriately reflecting on my life experiences in the light of truth, which helps me be sensitive to the nuance of my experience (9c). A difficult part of this self-reflection is facing that not all impulses in me are good, though I am still lovable as I am (9d). All this is true of me as a person, but that includes my sexuality, too. Understanding my sexuality in the light of my personhood helps me grow patiently and healthily (9e - NB that throughout these modules sexuality refers to one’s masculinity or femininity, within which we can understand sex). What helps us is understanding the whole vision of marriage that Jesus gives us - rooting everything in self-gift, which involves commitment, communication and the desire to help others grow, and grow together (9f ). Understanding true beauty helps us grow healthily - it is the person who is beautiful, and this is communicated through the physical, but that is very different to just being about physical beauty (9g). As you maybe already know - and we still remember! - this process isn’t ever clear cut because none of us are ‘clear cut’ - but understanding it makes it more manageable and helps protect you from panic. 9h helps us through the confusion. The last three modules of Y9, on economics, help us think about what money really is, and how we should relate to it. They are more specialised and so a video lesson is offered to help the module, on the accompanying powerpoint and website. You might think it strange to spend three modules on money in a course on relationship. Yet, how we treat each other and ourselves is very much affected by our attitude to money, and whether we see it as simply an instrument to help us, or the boss of everything. Enjoy!

Glossary Person A rational being for whom relationship is central to their fulfilment and happiness. This is a richer understanding than ‘individual’, which can mean a thinking being whose fulfilment is found primarily in themselves. Fertility The capacity to cooperate in growth. We are not Creators, but we are not sterile either: we can cooperate in our own growth, the growth of the other and the relationship between us. We tend to think in terms of babies when we hear the word fertile, but you can have fertile crops or a fertile imagination or intellect, etc. Understanding fertility in this broader sense helps us understand that it is as a person that you are fertile, not primarily as a gender: every person is called to be fertile in this sense and every person can be. It is through communion with God and each other, in love, that we are most fertile. Freedom The ability to readily act in complete accord with my true nature - in harmony with who I truly am. True human freedom always seeks truth and love. The false understanding of freedom is to be able to do what I like. Tolerance Respect for the other’s true freedom. (So, if we misunderstand freedom, we will misunderstand tolerance as well.) Nature The given-ness of something, of who I am. Justice Acting in accord with the nature of things. Joy The deepest experience of being alive, growing, and being in life-giving relationship; of being and living in accord with who I truly am. Initiator The one who takes a lead in a relationship of love: not a controller or someone who dominates, but one who initiates out of love for the other. In turn, the initiator receives from the receiver & responder. Receiver & Responder The one who first receives from the initiator in a communion of love, and loves in return by accepting the love offered and responding to it. In the Bible, this receiving of love is often called obedience or submission, but in a respectful way that is in no way demeaning, and is fulfilled in the response - often an initiating in itself - being then received by the initiator, and responded to, etc. - resulting in a life-giving relationship of mutual submission and respect. Reciprocal Complementarity This is the relationship of love between initiator and receiver & responder, where both persons benefit from the other and their genuine differences enrich each other. It helps us see how right order in relationship does not mean domination, but rather can be mutually beneficial. It can be seen that the three above definitions are interconnected. This relationship is primarily between persons, but can also be between things - such as reason and emotions. Appropriate Vulnerability Relationship and intimacy require a certain vulnerability on behalf of both persons. Especially as we are growing, we can tend towards too little vulnerability or too much. Appropriate vulnerability is the ability to allow one’s relationships to grow steadily and with appropriate boundaries, that benefit both persons.

A Fertile Heart | Receiving & Giving Creative Love

Year 7 Modules a-k

Contents: Year 7 The first five modules of Y7 are either useful revision or a catch up, on central themes: what it is to be human; freedom, truth and love; tolerance; person and nature and the rational understanding of God’s existence. Then we explore the many influences on us and how we can choose God and then ourselves to be the biggest influences. We end by looking at the important concept of ‘appropriate vulnerability’ and apply that to our relationship with: God; those in authority over me; myself; and friends. Module 7a: What does it mean to be human? To begin to think about what it means to be human, by reflecting on experience. Module 7b: Freedom, Truth and Love To understand how happiness, beauty, freedom, truth and love are linked. Module 7c: Tolerance To know that tolerance means respecting the true freedom of others, and is rooted in the dignity of every person. To understand that, like freedom, tolerance cannot be separated from truth and love. Module 7d: Person and Nature To understand myself and others more, by seeing that we have a shared human nature, a unique personhood, with my distinctive strengths, weaknesses and characteristics - which grows and develops if I allow myself to. Module 7e: I didn’t make me - so who did? To think rationally about why I exist and where I come from. Module 7f: Nature or Nurture? To think through what are the most important influences on my life. To understand that, as I grow into being fully human, the answer must be God and then myself. Module 7g: Appropriate Vulnerability To reflect on the importance of relationship and communication, and to understand the importance of appropriate vulnerability. Module 7h: Vulnerability and God To apply what we have learnt about appropriate vulnerability and trust to our relationship with God. Module 7i: Parents and Authority To apply appropriate vulnerability to our relationships with parents, carers and those who have authority over us. To understand how we are called to grow from an adult-child relationship to an adult-adult relationship: from initiator and receiver to initiator and receiver-responder. Module 7j: My relationship with me! To understand that to have appropriately trusting relationships with others you must begin by knowing, understanding, appropriately trusting and loving yourself. Module 7k: Friendship To understand why all persons are worthy of the greatest respect, and why friendship brings us the greatest joy. To see that genuine friendship is based on equality and appropriate vulnerability.

Tolerance

Learning Objectives To know that tolerance means respecting the true freedom of others. To understand how tolerance is rooted in the dignity of every person. To understand that, like freedom, tolerance cannot be separated from truth and love. Step 1 Tolerance and freedom are linked, because tolerance is respecting the other’s freedom. If freedom means I can do whatever I like, then tolerance must allow everyone to do whatever they like. But this isn’t what freedom is! We know that sometimes people do things that are harmful to others, and should be prevented, and sometimes do harmful things to themselves, which it may be right to challenge, out of love. True tolerance should lead to an acceptance of all given differences. It will often lead us to sensitively help others who may act in ways that are self-harming. Laws should protect people from others’ misuse of their freedom.

“Tolerance isn’t about not having beliefs. It’s about how your beliefs lead you to treat people who disagree with you.” Timothy Keller, American pastor

Activity 1: ‘It’s my life. I can do whatever I choose.’ Explain why this statement is false. Society can only function if we are tolerant of each other. We all know that, when we experience prejudice and discrimination. It is very destructive, and makes it hard for us to truly grow. Each human person is unique, and so, has a human dignity that cannot be earned or lost. It is who we are. Activity 2: Consider a time when you faced something unknown and it made you anxious. Discuss in groups of 3 or 4. Why were you anxious? Step 2 When we first meet people who are different to ourselves, we can experience fear or confusion. That can quickly lead to a negative reaction. The fear is rational; the negative reaction is not. If we are able to safely find out more about the person we usually discover we have far more in common with them than we thought - being human makes us very similar to each other; and secondly, that the differences are interesting, and that by sharing them we help each other grow and create a bond between us. This is tolerance in action. The more selfish or insecure I am, the more you being different to me annoys me. The more loving and secure I am, the more I can delight in our differences and grow from them. From this we know not to treat anyone badly because of their colour, gender, nationality, religious heritage, family make-up, appearance or anything else. Activity 3: Give some reasons why we can form prejudices or be intolerant towards other people. Mind map ideas on whiteboard. False Tolerance: Our culture often can tell us that tolerance is allowing everyone to do as they like. Our reason says this can’t always be so; one person’s freedom to act as they wish might damage another person’s freedom in some way. If my next door neighbour freely chooses to play loud music until 3am every morning that affects my freedom.

A Fertile Heart | Receiving & Giving Creative Love

Do you remeber a time when you felt anxious?

“Live your life as though your every act were to become a universal law.” Immanuel Kant.

In the main, society, schools and homes all have rules that should forbid a misuse of freedom that hurts others. Activity 4: Can you think of a few rules that do this? What about in your school? For road users? Parents’ rules?

Is real law the moral law within us? What about my night’s sleep? Step 3 Laws in themselves do not make actions right or wrong. If our country made it legal to kill some people, that would not make it acceptable: that would be an unjust law because it is still wrong to kill. Tolerance, freedom and laws are all interconnected. Step 4 What about actions that are done for a reason but that hurt the person? What if your friend started over-worrying about how they looked, and stopped eating properly because of that? Sensitively bringing up the subject with them might seem to cause them pain, which isn’t what you wanted for them. However, though your words, said in love, might get them in touch with their pain, they aren’t causing it. As a rule, hate - including self-hate - causes suffering; love brings healing, though often this includes helping the person to face their suffering. This is true of how God treats us, too. Activity 5: What might a good friend do in the above situation? Discuss in pairs. Share your ideas in class.

Summary We should always tolerate others, even if we disagree with them. If others use their freedom to harm others, then a just society should want to stop that. If my friend uses their freedom to hurt themselves, I should want to help them to make better choices.

Suggested Activities 1. Prepare a text of 80-100 words to your friend, who was absent, explaining what today’s lesson was about. 2. If you were Prime Minister for a day describe 2 new laws you would make concerning freedom and tolerance, and say why. 3. The moral law within us that tells us how to treat other people is real. Write 2 paragraphs explaining this in your own words. 4. Watch YouTube clip on false tolerance- https://www.youtube. com/watch?v=xfO1veFs6Ho What is your reaction to this? Can you see why this is false tolerance? 5. Draw a cartoon of how intolerance between people could take place in school. 6. “My freedom is more important than other people’s freedom.” Write 4 paragraphs explaining why this statement would cause problems in your life. Take into account what you have read and discussed today.

Year 8 Modules a-k

Contents: Year 8 Year 8 specifically looks at us becoming fertile persons - primarily a ‘spiritual fertility’ which is each person’s ability to cooperate in their own growth and the growth of others, and make a difference - founded on sharing in a communion of love. Modules 8b-e focus on the three central choices we have to make to grow as spiritually fertile persons: choosing the spiritual over the physical; truth over opinion; and love over egolife. We then look at God’s calling unique of each of us to bear fruit, and then at more practical issues such as texting, sexting and bullying, as well as fascination and attraction, and the desire to control and fear. Module 8a: The Fertile Person To understand the heart of what it is to be a fertile person - someone who is ‘spiritually fruitful’ - in contrast with an individual, whose fulfilment is sought primarily in themselves. Module 8b: Spiritual and Biological Fertility To understand the link between growing as a person, spiritual fertility and biological fertility. Module 8c: Nourished by the Truth To understand how a key dimension of bearing good fruit in our lives is to reflect on the nourishment we give our minds, and to be committed to putting truth above emotion or being right. Module 8d: Ordering and Insight To understand the human capacity of insight built on the process of ordering. Module 8e: Love and Ego-life To understand the importance of a genuine gift of self to the other, as fulfilling us as human persons; that putting others before our own self-interest and desires (ego-life) leads to happiness. Module 8f: Called to Give Life To know I am called by God to a purpose that will fulfil me and help others, and to know something of how to discern this vocation. Module 8g: Texting To see that, though social media offers lots of opportunities for communication, there is a danger that it lacks the depth of real communication. Module 8h: Fascination and Beauty To help emerging adults to realise the importance of respect and sensitivity in getting to know persons of the other sex, and of the complementarity of masculinity and femininity. To understand true beauty and natural fascination in this context. Module 8i: Sexting and Degrading Images To understand the very destructive nature of sexting and other sexual misuses of social media, that so easily cause damage and great distress. Module 8j: Control and Fear To understand our need to overcome both fear and the desire to control, and that it is faith and hope that primarily achieve this, bringing us freedom. Module 8k: Bullying To see that all bullying is a result of fear and a desire to control, and that it is destructive. In addition to the terrible hurt it causes the bullied person, it also deprives the bully of happiness and love.

Called to Give Life

Learning Objectives To know I am called by God to a purpose that will fulfil me and help others. To know something of how to discern this vocation. Step 1: Life choices and joy ‘So long as they’re happy.’ We often hear people say this. But it’s not exactly the whole story, is it? ‘They’re stealing cars for money.’‘ Oh! Ah well! So, long as they’re happy.’ - just isn’t true is it?! It is important that what the person is doing is at least not hurting others - but better still is helping others. Sometimes decisions people make can lead to short-term happiness but more long-term sadness and hurt. So, joy is a much better guide to life choices. Joy is connected with life. We experience joy in: being alive and growing; making a difference; helping other people grow; love - because love ultimately is shared life, shared being.

“I am created to do something or to be something for which no one else is created: I have a place in God’s counsels, in God’s world, which no one else has... God knows me and calls me by my name.” St John Henry Newman. YouCat p122

We can also use our reason: I can rationally see if the choices before me will be good ones, by thinking through if they will help bring joy - even if they also bring difficulties to start with. Step 2: Making a Difference So, what do you want to do when you grow up? The current answer isn’t as important as getting the process right. There are three common mistakes when thinking through life choices: I want to be rich, famous and powerful. They’re tempting, but let’s revisit what we’ve learnt: I grow by choosing the spiritual over the physical: so I should want to be spiritually rich, not physically; I grow by choosing truth over opinion: so I should be more concerned with who I am, not people’s opinion of me; I grow by choosing love over ego-life: love is the power that causes growth, so it is the only power that truly matters. The desire to be rich, famous or powerful is often connected with a fear of being vulnerable: but there is no intimacy without appropriate vulnerability - and so these get in the way of true friendship. You are made by God. Made for a purpose. You have deep desires to grow, to make a difference, to help others grow, and to love. You have a vocation to these. God is calling you to these, and vocation comes from the word for ‘calling’. That calling is common to all of us. How he has called you to these is unique to you. Read quote from St John Henry Newman. From this we learn three very important things: before getting the answers, we have to discern the right questions; the deepest questions we have to get in touch with are: how am I called to grow? To make a difference? To help others grow? To love?; underpinning these questions is the question: what do you want me to do God? What are you calling me to? Your parents should be able to help your life choices. But God is like a super-dad! He loves you completely, knows you completely and SO wants you to thrive! And, he can help us work together. Read Eph. 3: 20-21. When we entrust our life choices to God’s will we don’t lose anything, but we do enter into the whole history of people making the biggest difference possible to the world.

A Fertile Heart | Receiving & Giving Creative Love

God is calling you.

Key Point Working together brings out the best in us - and is very rewarding, if sometimes hard. A shared calling is the best part of being human.

Step 3: Getting in touch with my calling There are three main strands to our vocation: being part of the Church family, marriage and job/career. These are interlinked. It is good to ask myself questions like: what do I find fulfilment/joy in doing? Am I a people person? A systems person? A team player? (Activity 2.) All of us are called to serve - whether as a cleaner, shop worker, teacher, council worker, nurse, lawyer, or religious minister. All these roles are needed. What you are good at, and what fulfils you will help you discern your calling. It is good to ask others too. Enfolding the whole process is prayer - asking God what he is calling you to, and listening to his voice. If we do all this, our vocation will gradually emerge. Step 4 Watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zTc2hD2npA Pirates of the Caribbean (up to 7:07 but just watch long enough to appreciate an orchestra). Life is like an orchestra - spiritually, we are not a bunch of soloists. God’s ultimate goal is the unity of all humanity in Christ, so what music we come up with is secondary, in God’s eyes, to us learning to ‘play’ in harmony. It’s important to trust God to be the conductor - of you and of all of us. Not because he needs to be at the centre, but because he’s the one that can bring the best out of all of us - making us all spiritually fertile together. Hopefully you’re now inspired to discover your vocation to grow, love and make a difference! Watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74BbbZ9zLeY The Unsung Heroes: Every One Of Us (3:39) showing ordinary people making a difference. Then watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INN3cuuUz1s Unsung Heroes: Nyawira (3:53) showing how Nyawira makes a huge difference by dedicating her life to service. (Then Activity 3.)

Making a difference together.

Summary We long for joy which comes from growing, making a difference, helping others to grow and loving. Our vocation is to do these things, and specifically, how each of us is called to do these things. So we should seek these, not money, fame or power. The God who loves and made you is the one who calls you to a fulfilling life. Getting in touch with ourselves will help us discover our vocation. We are called together, to be fertile together, to be joyful together!

Suggested Activities 1. Think of ways in which money, fame or power - or seeking them could get in the way of growing, working together, and making a difference. 2. In small groups, think of three jobs that would suit: a people person; a systems person; a team player. Discuss which of these appeal to you more and why. 3. Put your name on a heart, and then pass it around for every other pupil to write one nice quality about you. Do the same for them. Show your heart to your family and ask them to add anything positive they’d like to.

Suggested Resource 1. Downloadable heart template.

‘Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the Church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen’ (Ephesians 3:20–21)

Year 9 Modules a-k

Contents: Year 9 Now we are clear about the centrality of spiritual fertility to human growth, we explore more deeply the process that leads to it - and the difficulties, and particularly the confusion, we might encounter on the way. This process is founded on a commitment to self-gift, which helps us understand our deepest desires, and to get in touch with them through the nuance of self-reflection. A significant difficulty is encountered when we realise that not all our impulses are good or help us. We then specifically reflect on emerging sexuality, as an important dimension of our human personhood. All this helps us more appreciate marriage and family. Getting more deeply in touch with my desire to grow in beauty, and allowing truth and compassion to help us in any confusion, are key to patient growth. We finish with a mini-series on economics, because our attitude to money has a very deep effect on our attitude to others. Module 9a: Growing into Full Happiness To understand what is meant by ‘personhood’, and the stages of growing as a person which allow me to grow in receiving and giving love: self-knowledge; self-governance; self-possession; self-gift. Module 9b: Spiritual Desires To describe what is meant by ‘desires’. To understand the seven most important desires of the human heart. Module 9c: Getting in Touch with my Desires To know the difference between objective desires, (reflected on in 9b), and subjective desires (my own experience of my own desires). To understand that nuance is necessary to understand myself and others and that its absence can lead to sweeping, inaccurate statements. Module 9d: Experiencing Dis-order To deepen our understanding of what it means to self-reflect. To understand that not every desire in me is good and that it is important for me to be able to accept that and respond to it creatively. Module 9e: Adolescence, Personhood and Sexuality To recall the skills covered so far about growing into adulthood, and to apply them to sexuality. Module 9f: Marriage and Family To know what Jesus taught about marriage, and to explain how this is connected to fertility (spiritual and physical). Module 9g: Growing in Beauty To evaluate what we mean by ‘beauty’, and to discern how to protect ourselves from pitfalls that don’t help us to grow in beauty. Module 9h: The Path to Authentic Fertility To see that growing, as persons and in our sexuality, needs patience and understanding, and to reflect on healthy processes that lead us to better self-understanding. Module 9i: Family, Work and Fertility To understand the right order between family life and work life, understanding that money by itself is sterile and that work is fertile.To understand the correct use of money that helps the fertility of work. Module 9j: The Just Price To describe what is meant by ‘The Just Price’, and to explain why money should be used fairly in the exchange of goods, and in cooperation. To highlight the potential hidden dangers of advertising. Module 9k: Credit Creation and Debt To understand why ‘creating money’ is unfair and leads to debt dominating the economy. To see how such debt leads to us misusing the environment, and each other.

Adolescence, Personhood and Sexuality

Learning Objectives To recall the skills covered so far about growing into adulthood. To understand how these skills can be applied to sexuality.

“Don’t rush to grow up.” Traditional.

Key Words Sexuality, Appropriate Vulnerability, Communication, Patience, Responsibility. Activity 1: Look at the quote “Don’t rush to grow up” and discuss what you think it means. Step 1 In previous lessons, we have looked at what it means to become fully mature people. This involves learning how to receive love and how to give love to others. As children, we get used to receiving attention and love from others. As we get older and move into adolescence, we also have to discover more how to respond to others. More is expected of us and we have to develop skills of being responsible in the ways we react and respond. This time of discovery can reveal some interesting tendencies in each of us. I can have desires that are disordered and this can be difficult for me to accept. Our process of growth is never perfect either. We grow up in widely differing environments. We weren’t all encouraged to get in touch with our relationship with God. All sorts of things can make growth more difficult. However, central to our growth into happiness are the gifts of reason and choice, an experience of being loved and our own response. Our disorders are not such a big issue if we handle them in a way that will make us happy. Activity 2: Think of a habit that you have that irritates you. Explain how this habit can cause disorder or unhappiness in your life. How could growing out of this habit give you greater happiness in life? Step 2: Sexuality and Reason The theme we have been exploring all along is ‘fertility’ and what it means to be a Fertile Person. During our teenage years, we grow in different ways: physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. All of these work together to help us become fertile or ‘life-giving’ people. A hugely important part of what it means to be human is our sexuality. It could be said to be the vehicle through which we communicate and make a difference. As we have seen, it is important to choose to put the spiritual above the physical. If we don’t, sexuality quickly reduces to sex, and loses much of its beauty.

Think of a habit that you have that irritates you

We are also called to choose truth above what I want to be true - that is particularly difficult regarding sexuality as our sex drive can be so strong. Step 3: An Individual or a person? Which one are you? The answer is important because it determines how you will cope during the turbulent years of growing up. Generally speaking, if you see yourself as primarily an individual, you will feel greater pressure to be in charge of yourself, in absolute terms. This focuses me on ‘me and my wants’. It also tends to be a road to unhappiness. Individual or a person? 66

A Fertile Heart | Receiving & Giving Creative Love

Knowing I am loved, especially loved by God, helps me know the truth that I am a person - someone who receives and gives - who desires to have some control of their life, but not complete control: someone who can be vulnerable enough to have real relationships. Step 4: God loves you, no matter what Adolescence is an exciting time, when new opportunities arise, but it is a confusing time too. Understanding the given-ness of who you are helps you to keep the adventure part of life, but tones down the fearful part. Understanding you are loved by God, and are called to cooperate with him in your growing as a person steadies you through adolescence and all life. It doesn’t stop all the ups and downs of life, but it does anchor you and stops you from drowning - like a ship in a storm. Today’s culture is fast. We are bombarded with messages and images that urge us to act on all of our desires, to experience life to the full. But you know this is not a healthy way to live. When we are 14, we need the time and space to enjoy being 14, without the pressure of trying to be 16. Similarly, at every stage of our lives, we need to take the time to grow. Relationships grow over time, often over many years. If you and I are created for healthy relationships, then it makes sense to allow those friendships to grow. This is where we need to be patient with ourselves. Activity 3: Describe something that worked out well for you because you gave it time and patience. E.g. learning to ride a bicycle or play a musical instrument. Step 5: Child-like v Childish The child-like person knows that they are truly free. They can trust appropriately, and have a sense of joy and mystery. They can have bad days, make poor choices and yet still know that they can accept help and even have a laugh at themselves along the way. The childish individual is stuck in the desire to be in control, and always thinks that ‘life isn’t fair’. They want to be free, but keep taking back control through addiction to self-image and misuse of sex, power, money or fame and may find themselves unhappy and lonely.

Summary In adolescence we are called to grow into fertile persons. This primarily means spiritually - as persons able to commit to others. It also includes physical fertility, and our need to mature in our sexuality. The process can be difficult and imperfect, but so long as we remember that we are cooperators in who we are, not initiators, then we can learn how to respond. This understanding will allow you to be patient, to enjoy the journey, to let others help you appropriately and to be able to stand up to panic and to influences that strongly encourage you to choose those things that don’t make you happy.

Child-like or childish?

Suggested Activities 1. Watch ‘Crystalina’s testimony’ 7:53 minutes and mind map 5 different connections to the theme of today’s lesson. https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=4DLxGiCFeY4 2. Recall a recent time when you felt fearful, upset, anxious or confused. Imagine that you are God. Write a short note to your anxious self from God, reassuring you. What reasons does God give to encourage you? 3. Write a short text message to discourage someone who is too young, not to get involved with someone older. 4. ‘True Love waits’. In 100 words evaluate this statement showing you have thought about more than one point of view.

A Fertile Heart Receiving & Giving Creative Love

Want to know more? Give us a call, email us or complete the form on the website, see details below. 1 Newcastle Street, Stone, Staffordshire STl 5 8JU Phone: +44 (0) 1785 815110 Email: hello@fertileheart.org.uk Contact: www.fertileheart.org.uk/contact