KS3 - Year 9 by fertileheart.org.uk

Key Stage 3 Year 9

A Fertile Heart Receiving & Giving Creative Love

Love is creative. To have a fertile heart is to love, grow and make a positive difference.

04/07/2018

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8e/Coat_of_arms_of_George_Stack.svg

1/1

Foreword His Grace George Stack, Archbishop of Cardiff Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel “The Glory of God is humanity fully alive”. Thus wrote St. Irenaeus in the 3rd century. His words remain true to this day. They mean that God is the creator of the gift of life. In that gift, each human person receives a share in His own creative love. His revelation in life and love, as well as through creation, is pure gift. This is the ‘grace’ of which we speak, in order that “we may have life and have it to the full” (Gospel of St. John 10:10). This truth lies at the heart of the Gospel. It is what it means to be truly human. The gift of life is bestowed by God in order that we may flourish and thrive. We do this in the first place simply by living with gratitude. We do it by responding to His love in a life of joyful communion with Him. We express it by actively engaging in the good of others so that mutual ‘flourishing’ may take place. The more we give, the more we receive. The ‘Gospel of Life’ outlined above is, indeed, ‘Good News’. It is revealed in every aspect of human nature and creation itself. This is the life-giving teaching we seek to hand on to our children who are “the messages we send to tomorrow”. The Rite of Baptism reminds us that parents are the first and best teachers of their children. The Catholic school exists primarily to educate children to receive and respond to God’s love for each one of them and for all. Our schools are designed to help parents fulfil their God given task of caring for their children in the school of love. The Catholic school is not just a place for professional education – existing for improvement in learning - important though that is. It is a place of formation, a place in which ‘lessons for life’ are imparted, received and shared. The whole school community teaches and learns these lessons in a truly Catholic environment. Human relationships are obviously at the heart of life and flourishing. We are made to relate to each other, body, mind and spirit. The physical, emotional and spiritual reality of our being are part and parcel of the ‘holy trinity’ of each one of us. Thus affective sexuality education is a crucial part of human formation. A Fertile Heart is the culmination of several years work of dedicated individuals [teachers, theologians, education advisers and parents] from within the dioceses of Birmingham, Cardiff, Clifton, Arundel and Brighton and Shrewsbury. They have worked tirelessly to create a resource which puts the human person and the flourishing of our pupils at the heart of the Catholic school. It is offered as an important aid to pupils, parents, teachers, governors and clergy to remind us all that “We are God’s work of art, created in Christ Jesus to live the good life as from the beginning God had meant us to live it” (Ephesians 2:10).

Introduction If you don’t know how a car works, you’re not likely to be able to fix it. If you don’t know something about how crops grow, you’re not likely to be a great farmer. If you don’t understand a mobile phone, you’re not likely to get the most out of it. Understanding what it is to be a human person will help us know how to think and act, and so be happy and fulfilled. This booklet is part of a curriculum that goes from Reception to Y11, comprising eleven modules for every KS3 year. A Fertile Heart offers you a vision of what it is to be human, helping you to understand yourself more deeply, and therefore make better, more informed choices. An important dimension to being human is the need for love and relationship. Another is the desire to grow and make a meaningful difference. It is important to see the connection between growing and love: love helps us grow, true growth helps us love more. We can only truly grow and make a meaningful difference if we understand our meaning and purpose, which itself comes from understanding who I already am. So, we first need to understand ourselves in our given-ness - including what it is to be human - and in our uniqueness - our personhood, thinking and choices. That is quite hard to understand at first, but basically I didn’t decide to be human, or the make-up of who I start out as - so I have to understand my ‘starting point’. Then I need to understand the end to which I am called - what full human maturity is - to be as loving as God. Once I know where I’m coming from, and where I am going, I can also understand my amazing ability to cooperate in growing, in becoming that person - and in helping others to do the same! Key to gaining correct self-understanding is the ability to think correctly. If we don’t get that process right we won’t understand ourselves correctly: we’ll be fooled by pressures that tempt us to sell ourselves short. It is truth, and our ability to reason, that protect us from this. Reason and faith are friends. We are often told that they are not, but if any faith belief is irrational, it is clearly wrong. Instead, authentic faith strengthens reason and opens it up to deeper realities. Please don’t be fooled into a false choice between faith and reason - we need them both to grow. This curriculum is completely set against the polarisation of faith and reason. The modules agree with the Catholic faith, but are founded on reason - and are therefore able to be received by all pupils of all faiths and none. They reflect logically on human experience, and encourage you to gradually learn to do the same. Central to the understanding of being human is that we are called to be ‘fertile’ - to grow and make a difference. We love doing both. What is important to understand is that, at its deepest reality, all creativity, all ‘fertility’, comes, not simply from the things we do, but rather, from the communion of loving persons. This love is revealed in what we call ‘reciprocal complementarity’. Reciprocal complementarity is when, as well as the equality of each person, the God-given differences between persons shape the relationship between them in a bond of mutual love. If you think of a doubles tennis partnership - it develops from both persons developing their own ability, and deepening the understanding and team work of the partnership. All reciprocal complementarity works like this. Reciprocal complementarity is true within God himself, of the relationship of each of us with God, and our relationships with each other. Within this creativity is the fertility of procreation, but so are all dimensions of creativity and growth. This course seeks to help you understand your deeper fertility at the heart of your personhood, and your ability to cooperate with others for the good of all. This will allow you to gradually understand your emerging biological fertility within this deeper, richer understanding of the communion of persons. From this we can understand marriage and therefore, sexuality, sex and parenthood in a richer, more beautiful way. This curriculum is not dumbed down. Some of the concepts dealt with might challenge and stretch you, but the modules have been tried and tested and found to really engage and lead on young persons. Please persevere in them. And if you do, you will find the self-knowledge gained helps you in all your other subjects, too. Whatever family you come from, we are confident you will understand the examples we use to reflect on the importance of love. And with love there always comes joy, so we do ask you to enjoy these modules too, by entering into them and engaging with your teacher and class. It would also really help if parents or others at home could join in, too. Every week your teacher may give you one of the activities to go back home with for discussion. That way, we all join in the journey, and hopefully all grow and enjoy it.

A Fertile Heart | Receiving & Giving Creative Love

Some of you will have started this course in primary school; some of you won’t: don’t worry. The first five modules of Y7 are mainly a summary of the key points of Y4-6 - as revision or to help you catch up. They start off with the three important pillars of this curriculum. Firstly, that we are made in the image of God. Secondly, that we need to think correctly in order to gradually understand what it is to be human, and what it is to be me (7a). Thirdly, that freedom cannot mean simply choosing what I want, but is about freely acting in accord with my nature, with who I am, guided by truth and love. (7b). Then we look at tolerance (7c), at what we mean by person and nature (7d), and at what we can rationally say about where we come from (7e). Module 7f is important in helping you see the transition that lies ahead of you - as your own choices gradually become the second most important factor in your life, after God’s love for you. Understanding this will steer you away from dismissing God as irrelevant, or dismissing other influences on you as no longer needed. This leads to the crucial concept of appropriate vulnerability in your relationships - learning how to gradually trust and share in a healthy way (7g). We then apply this appropriate vulnerability to your relationship with God (7h), parents and other authority figures (7i), with yourself (7j), and with friends (7k). During Y8 we will specifically look at being called to be a fertile person. Ultimately, this is not dependent on biological fertility: even if someone was unable to have children, they are what we call ‘spiritual fertility’ as much as anyone else. All fertility is primarily found in the communion of persons in love. In our experience we see that when people relate and work together in love, they are always more creative - this isn’t a coincidence! So, at the heart of growth as a fertile person, is the ability to truly be a person and relate well. Modules 8b-e reflect on the three most important dimensions of becoming a fertile person: choosing the spiritual above the physical; thinking in the right way - choosing truth above what I want to be true; and choosing love above my ego-life. The summary of 8e is crucially important for the whole curriculum. It leads us to explore God’s unique calling of you - how he is inviting you to grow and live as a fertile person (8f ). After this, we deal with some more practical issues, in the light of the deeper understanding we have gained: texting (8g), sexting (8i) and bullying (8k). Within this we also look at how appropriate fascination, respect and sensitivity for those of the other sex helps us, as we grow, to understand the complementarity of the sexes. Module 8j also introduces the importance of overcoming a desire to control, and fear, in fully maturing - things which can particularly damage relationships between the sexes. We now understand that our deepest fertility is what we have called ‘spiritual fertility’ - which is specifically connected to our personhood. Y9 is primarily about helping you to understand what we really mean by personhood, and so appreciate what true growth is. Central to this growth is learning and directing how our thinking, choosing and emotions best interact. This helps you understand adolescence more, and cooperate with your development - rather than just getting confused and frustrated by it all. As we develop, our relationships develop too. Fulfilment, ultimately, is found in self-gift (9a). This becomes clearer the more I get in touch with my deepest desires (9b). I do this through appropriately reflecting on my life experiences in the light of truth, which helps me be sensitive to the nuance of my experience (9c). A difficult part of this self-reflection is facing that not all impulses in me are good, though I am still lovable as I am (9d). All this is true of me as a person, but that includes my sexuality, too. Understanding my sexuality in the light of my personhood helps me grow patiently and healthily (9e - NB that throughout these modules sexuality refers to one’s masculinity or femininity, within which we can understand sex). What helps us is understanding the whole vision of marriage that Jesus gives us - rooting everything in self-gift, which involves commitment, communication and the desire to help others grow, and grow together (9f ). Understanding true beauty helps us grow healthily - it is the person who is beautiful, and this is communicated through the physical, but that is very different to just being about physical beauty (9g). As you maybe already know - and we still remember! - this process isn’t ever clear cut because none of us are ‘clear cut’ - but understanding it makes it more manageable and helps protect you from panic. 9h helps us through the confusion. The last three modules of Y9, on economics, help us think about what money really is, and how we should relate to it. They are more specialised and so a video lesson is offered to help the module, on the accompanying powerpoint and website. You might think it strange to spend three modules on money in a course on relationship. Yet, how we treat each other and ourselves is very much affected by our attitude to money, and whether we see it as simply an instrument to help us, or the boss of everything. Enjoy!

Glossary Person A rational being for whom relationship is central to their fulfilment and happiness. This is a richer understanding than ‘individual’, which can mean a thinking being whose fulfilment is found primarily in themselves. Fertility The capacity to cooperate in growth. We are not Creators, but we are not sterile either: we can cooperate in our own growth, the growth of the other and the relationship between us. We tend to think in terms of babies when we hear the word fertile, but you can have fertile crops or a fertile imagination or intellect, etc. Understanding fertility in this broader sense helps us understand that it is as a person that you are fertile, not primarily as a gender: every person is called to be fertile in this sense and every person can be. It is through communion with God and each other, in love, that we are most fertile. Freedom The ability to readily act in complete accord with my true nature - in harmony with who I truly am. True human freedom always seeks truth and love. The false understanding of freedom is to be able to do what I like. Tolerance Respect for the other’s true freedom. (So, if we misunderstand freedom, we will misunderstand tolerance as well.) Nature The given-ness of something, of who I am. Justice Acting in accord with the nature of things. Joy The deepest experience of being alive, growing, and being in life-giving relationship; of being and living in accord with who I truly am. Initiator The one who takes a lead in a relationship of love: not a controller or someone who dominates, but one who initiates out of love for the other. In turn, the initiator receives from the receiver & responder. Receiver & Responder The one who first receives from the initiator in a communion of love, and loves in return by accepting the love offered and responding to it. In the Bible, this receiving of love is often called obedience or submission, but in a respectful way that is in no way demeaning, and is fulfilled in the response - often an initiating in itself - being then received by the initiator, and responded to, etc. - resulting in a life-giving relationship of mutual submission and respect. Reciprocal Complementarity This is the relationship of love between initiator and receiver & responder, where both persons benefit from the other and their genuine differences enrich each other. It helps us see how right order in relationship does not mean domination, but rather can be mutually beneficial. It can be seen that the three above definitions are interconnected. This relationship is primarily between persons, but can also be between things - such as reason and emotions. Appropriate Vulnerability Relationship and intimacy require a certain vulnerability on behalf of both persons. Especially as we are growing, we can tend towards too little vulnerability or too much. Appropriate vulnerability is the ability to allow one’s relationships to grow steadily and with appropriate boundaries, that benefit both persons.

A Fertile Heart | Receiving & Giving Creative Love

Contents: Year 9 Now we are clear about the centrality of spiritual fertility to human growth, we explore more deeply the process that leads to it - and the difficulties, and particularly the confusion, we might encounter on the way. This process is founded on a commitment to self-gift, which helps us understand our deepest desires, and to get in touch with them through the nuance of self-reflection. A significant difficulty is encountered when we realise that not all our impulses are good or help us. We then specifically reflect on emerging sexuality, as an important dimension of our human personhood. All this helps us more appreciate marriage and family. Getting more deeply in touch with my desire to grow in beauty, and allowing truth and compassion to help us in any confusion, are key to patient growth. We finish with a mini-series on economics, because our attitude to money has a very deep effect on our attitude to others. Module 9a: Growing into Full Happiness To understand what is meant by ‘personhood’, and the stages of growing as a person which allow me to grow in receiving and giving love: self-knowledge; self-governance; self-possession; self-gift. Module 9b: Spiritual Desires To describe what is meant by ‘desires’. To understand the seven most important desires of the human heart. Module 9c: Getting in Touch with my Desires To know the difference between objective desires, (reflected on in 9b), and subjective desires (my own experience of my own desires). To understand that nuance is necessary to understand myself and others and that its absence can lead to sweeping, inaccurate statements. Module 9d: Experiencing Dis-order To deepen our understanding of what it means to self-reflect. To understand that not every desire in me is good and that it is important for me to be able to accept that and respond to it creatively. Module 9e: Adolescence, Personhood and Sexuality To recall the skills covered so far about growing into adulthood, and to apply them to sexuality. Module 9f: Marriage and Family To know what Jesus taught about marriage, and to explain how this is connected to fertility (spiritual and physical). Module 9g: Growing in Beauty To evaluate what we mean by ‘beauty’, and to discern how to protect ourselves from pitfalls that don’t help us to grow in beauty. Module 9h: The Path to Authentic Fertility To see that growing, as persons and in our sexuality, needs patience and understanding, and to reflect on healthy processes that lead us to better self-understanding. Module 9i: Family, Work and Fertility To understand the right order between family life and work life, understanding that money by itself is sterile and that work is fertile.To understand the correct use of money that helps the fertility of work. Module 9j: The Just Price To describe what is meant by ‘The Just Price’, and to explain why money should be used fairly in the exchange of goods, and in cooperation. To highlight the potential hidden dangers of advertising. Module 9k: Credit Creation and Debt To understand why ‘creating money’ is unfair and leads to debt dominating the economy. To see how such debt leads to us misusing the environment, and each other.

Year 9 Module e

Adolescence, Personhood and Sexuality

Learning Objectives To recall the skills covered so far about growing into adulthood. To understand how these skills can be applied to sexuality.

“Don’t rush to grow up.” Traditional.

Key Words Sexuality, Appropriate Vulnerability, Communication, Patience, Responsibility. Activity 1: Look at the quote “Don’t rush to grow up” and discuss what you think it means. Step 1 In previous lessons, we have looked at what it means to become fully mature people. This involves learning how to receive love and how to give love to others. As children, we get used to receiving attention and love from others. As we get older and move into adolescence, we also have to discover more how to respond to others. More is expected of us and we have to develop skills of being responsible in the ways we react and respond. This time of discovery can reveal some interesting tendencies in each of us. I can have desires that are disordered and this can be difficult for me to accept. Our process of growth is never perfect either. We grow up in widely differing environments. We weren’t all encouraged to get in touch with our relationship with God. All sorts of things can make growth more difficult. However, central to our growth into happiness are the gifts of reason and choice, an experience of being loved and our own response. Our disorders are not such a big issue if we handle them in a way that will make us happy. Activity 2: Think of a habit that you have that irritates you. Explain how this habit can cause disorder or unhappiness in your life. How could growing out of this habit give you greater happiness in life? Step 2: Sexuality and Reason The theme we have been exploring all along is ‘fertility’ and what it means to be a Fertile Person. During our teenage years, we grow in different ways: physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. All of these work together to help us become fertile or ‘life-giving’ people. A hugely important part of what it means to be human is our sexuality. It could be said to be the vehicle through which we communicate and make a difference. As we have seen, it is important to choose to put the spiritual above the physical. If we don’t, sexuality quickly reduces to sex, and loses much of its beauty.

Think of a habit that you have that irritates you

We are also called to choose truth above what I want to be true - that is particularly difficult regarding sexuality as our sex drive can be so strong. Step 3: An Individual or a person? Which one are you? The answer is important because it determines how you will cope during the turbulent years of growing up. Generally speaking, if you see yourself as primarily an individual, you will feel greater pressure to be in charge of yourself, in absolute terms. This focuses me on ‘me and my wants’. It also tends to be a road to unhappiness. Individual or a person? 66

A Fertile Heart | Receiving & Giving Creative Love

Knowing I am loved, especially loved by God, helps me know the truth that I am a person - someone who receives and gives - who desires to have some control of their life, but not complete control: someone who can be vulnerable enough to have real relationships. Step 4: God loves you, no matter what Adolescence is an exciting time, when new opportunities arise, but it is a confusing time too. Understanding the given-ness of who you are helps you to keep the adventure part of life, but tones down the fearful part. Understanding you are loved by God, and are called to cooperate with him in your growing as a person steadies you through adolescence and all life. It doesn’t stop all the ups and downs of life, but it does anchor you and stops you from drowning - like a ship in a storm. Today’s culture is fast. We are bombarded with messages and images that urge us to act on all of our desires, to experience life to the full. But you know this is not a healthy way to live. When we are 14, we need the time and space to enjoy being 14, without the pressure of trying to be 16. Similarly, at every stage of our lives, we need to take the time to grow. Relationships grow over time, often over many years. If you and I are created for healthy relationships, then it makes sense to allow those friendships to grow. This is where we need to be patient with ourselves. Activity 3: Describe something that worked out well for you because you gave it time and patience. E.g. learning to ride a bicycle or play a musical instrument. Step 5: Child-like v Childish The child-like person knows that they are truly free. They can trust appropriately, and have a sense of joy and mystery. They can have bad days, make poor choices and yet still know that they can accept help and even have a laugh at themselves along the way. The childish individual is stuck in the desire to be in control, and always thinks that ‘life isn’t fair’. They want to be free, but keep taking back control through addiction to self-image and misuse of sex, power, money or fame and may find themselves unhappy and lonely.

Summary In adolescence we are called to grow into fertile persons. This primarily means spiritually - as persons able to commit to others. It also includes physical fertility, and our need to mature in our sexuality. The process can be difficult and imperfect, but so long as we remember that we are cooperators in who we are, not initiators, then we can learn how to respond. This understanding will allow you to be patient, to enjoy the journey, to let others help you appropriately and to be able to stand up to panic and to influences that strongly encourage you to choose those things that don’t make you happy.

Child-like or childish?

Suggested Activities 1. Watch ‘Crystalina’s testimony’ 7:53 minutes and mind map 5 different connections to the theme of today’s lesson. https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=4DLxGiCFeY4 2. Recall a recent time when you felt fearful, upset, anxious or confused. Imagine that you are God. Write a short note to your anxious self from God, reassuring you. What reasons does God give to encourage you? 3. Write a short text message to discourage someone who is too young, not to get involved with someone older. 4. ‘True Love waits’. In 100 words evaluate this statement showing you have thought about more than one point of view.

A Fertile Heart Receiving & Giving Creative Love

Want to know more? Give us a call, email us or complete the form on the website, see details below. 1 Newcastle Street, Stone, Staffordshire STl 5 8JU Phone: +44 (0) 1785 815110 Email: hello@fertileheart.org.uk Contact: www.fertileheart.org.uk/contact