June 21, 2008 4:08

Baby Cullen's C.V.

Goal: Week-old baby seeks position requiring no particular skills.

Education: None. Not a drop.

Experience: Nine months gestation.

Skills: As mentioned, none in particular. Can see, hear and flail. Recent acquisition of ability to extract milk from breast. Proven proficiency in hiccups.

Salary requirements: Eleventeen bajillion dollars, or roughly the cost of college tuition in 18 years.

References: Mommy, Daddy and big sister Mika. On second thought, scratch the last one; reference was last heard asking to return this job applicant to Mommy's belly. Please instead refer to below photos to verify applicant's puffy-cheeked, frowny-browed cuteness—surely a boost to office morale.

June 12, 2008 8:00

Maternity Leave in Progress: sayonara for now

So after much agonizing over what I ought to do with WiP during my leave, I did what I always do and punted to someone with more brain cells: in this case, Time.com chief pooh-bah Josh. I offered two options:

1. Keep going, albeit at a slower pace and in a more personal vein.
2. Hang an Out of Office shingle.

As a brand new dad himself, Josh says he has awakened to the value of a real maternity leave—and thus chose the latter. I think it's the first time in my life that I offered to work during a company-sanctioned leave of absence and my boss turned me down.

My reaction to the impending blogcation wasn't elation or even relief. First of all, being asked to stop writing, even for obvious reasons, flares up all my writerly insecurities (isn't this kind of like being fired?). Second, giving up the best part of my job, even for a finite term, totally bums me out. I wake up at 3 a.m. thinking of posts (okay, I wake up to pee, but then I can't get back to sleep because I'm thinking of posts). Now what'll I do with all the totally original observations I'll have about the world of work while I examine the contents of my newborn's diapers?

June 11, 2008 2:48

Office pests don't discriminate

You've heard that Fox News is infested with bedbugs; just last week,

A Fox News employee filed a lawsuit Thursday against the owner of the building she works in and the maintenance company who cleans it after she says she was bitten by bedbugs at work.

The employee is claiming post-traumatic stress syndrome (seriously). Now it turns out that a far loftier establishment uptown—the Metropolitan Opera—also has a critter problem: mice. Says the New York Post,

The posh Lincoln Center theater has racked up numerous violations with the city Department of Health and Mental Hygiene within the past few months, with the latest pointing out that there may be more rodents in the Met than in the cast of "Otello."

There's no accounting for taste, I guess—even among vermin and bugs.

June 11, 2008 9:30

Positive thinking leads to...job dissatisfaction?

As grouchy as I act, I admit that I am inside an incorrigible optimist. I tend to think things will work out, not because I believe in karma or whatnot but because the laws of probability dictate generally okay outcomes. I tend to believe I can make a crappy situation better. And I tend to think even the biggest jerk loves his mama. (Read my defense of office a-holes here.)

Which means I am likely to be unhappy in my job.

Whatwhatwhat? My colleague Barbara Kiviat forwarded me this study from Dr. Olivia O'Neill, assistant professor of management the University of Georgia's Terry College of Business, to be presented at the Academy of Management conference in August (she collaborated with Terry College colleagues Laura J. Stanley and Kanu Priya and Stanford University's Charles A. O'Reilly III). O'Neill finds that employees "higher in positive affect had higher salary expectations, and changed organizations more frequently, which leads to lower overall job, career, and life satisfaction."

According to O'Neill, positive individuals hold higher initial salary expectations, and those who have lower initial salaries were more likely to change organizations in their first four years after graduation. And, participants who worked for five organizations showed lower levels of job satisfaction. "Ultimately, changing organizations did not increase satisfaction for highly positive employees. This suggest that highly positive people resilience in adjusting to new organizations cannot offset the disappointment they experience when their high expectations are not met," she adds.

In their examination of 132 MBA graduates from 1987 to 1995, the team found that "positive employees who remain within their current organizations fare better than positive employees that change organizations in search of their ideal job." Moreover, employees who aggressively pursue their ideal job are less likely to be happy than those who adjust their expectations to their current positions.

The lesson, boys and girls, especially you recent college grads: stay positive, and stay in your job.

June 10, 2008 10:20

A survival guide for our summer interns

Last week, our annual batch of summer interns arrived at TIME. This I know because an e-mail was sent out yesterday announcing their arrival. But because I'm working from home until I expel a small person from my womb, the most I know about this year's group may be their three-line e-mailed bios.

That's a shame. I love interns. I so remember that mixture of thrill and accomplishment and bagel-choking fear that accompanied each of my internships. I think fondly of the time the senior reporter at Ad Age threw a phone at me. And of the hours I spent sorting through letters from crazy people at Rolling Stone. Ah. Good times.

During my seven years at TIME, I've watched summer interns come and go, some undoubtedly enriched by the experience, others just as undoubtedly disappointed. I think this is true at any workplace. I see a lot of advice out there from bloggers and career advisers on how to handle summer internships, but seeing as my own limited knowledge is limited further to my own employer, I thought I'd spew some of that entirely unsolicited advice here.

June 10, 2008 8:23

More dads want to stay home

When I write about work-family issues, I deliberately try to avoid assigning them only to women. That's because I know too many men among my peers who struggle with the same things: spending more time with their kids; arranging flexible work options; doing quality work while raising kids who don't set fire to the guidance couselor's car.

It's one reason why I coerced my colleague Lev Grossman into cowriting a magazine article with me last year about this new generation of dads. It's also the reason I'm not surprised by the results of this new survey from CareerBuilder.com that finds 37% of dads with jobs say they'd gladly stay home if the spouse could support the family on her own. Other findings:

• 37% of working dads said they are willing to take a pay cut to spend more time with their children.
• 42% would take a pay cut of 10% or more.

Office time cuts into family time:
• 22% of working dads said their jobs have had a negative impact on their relationships with their children, with time management playing a role in the disruption of precious family time;
• 46% of working dads said they have missed a significant event in their child's life in the last year due to work;
• 26% said they have missed more than three.

It's harder than ever to leave the office at the office:
• 25% of working dads stated that they work more than 50 hours a week;
• 24% said they bring work home at least once, if not more, a week.

How much time are dads spending with the tots?
• 47% of working dads said they spend fewer than three hours a day with their children during the work week;
• 22% said they spend less than two hours;
• 6% are only able to spend an hour.

Are you a working dad who wants to stay home, or are you married to one?

June 9, 2008 3:42

Does telecommuting save energy?

As the mercury hovers around 100 this afternoon, my colleague Jim Poniewozik over at Tuned In writes in an e-mail:

So telecommuting is supposed to be much better for the environment, right? But is it on high-energy use days like today? Working at home, I'm not using fuel to commute, but then again the subway is running regardless. And I'm using appliances, ceiling fans and a (small) air conditioner I wouldn't be using otherwise. And it's not like I can get Time Inc. to turn the A/C off in my office while I'm out.

What a coinkydink. I just received a study from Sun Microsystems compiling the results of an internal study to determine how its so-called Open Work flexible work project impacts energy usage. The study measures energy usage by Open Work employees "at work in a Sun office, at work at home, and during commuting to and from a Sun office." By comparing home and work energy use, Sun says, it "sought to determine how the energy load is shifted from company to individual to answer the question: 'Does Open Work really save energy, or just transfer energy cost and load to employees?'"

Here's what it found (bolds mine):

Office equipment energy consumption rate at work office was 2x office equipment energy consumption rate at home. By eliminating commuting, each employee reduces energy used for work by 63KWH/day or 5,400KWh/yr, and save an average of 2.5 weeks of work time (8 hours/day, 5 days/week) commuting.

In other words, each employee who telecommutes in lieu or schlepping into an office saves about an annual vacation's worth of time commuting. That amounts to more than $1,700 in gas and vehicle usage and a staggering 5,400 kilowatts of energy. In case you were wondering, Sun's Open Work platform isn't limited to an elite few: nearly 19,000 Sun employees—56%—around the world work from home or in a mobile office. And in case you weren't wondering, it has nothing to do with open marriages.

Jim adds:

In my defense, I am using the A/C sparingly, and wearing shorts.

Not me. I've locked the central air at 50 degrees up here in my attic office so I can sip hot tea and wear a furry hat. Then I'm going to send my energy bill to my boss.

June 9, 2008 8:02

Pantyhose at work: yea or nay

In my region today, the temperature is slated to hit 100. Degrees. Fahrenheit. That's, like, steel-mill hot. That's cereal-for-dinner hot. That's I'd-rather-die-than-wear-pantyhose hot.

I'm working from home today as I count down to the birth of my child later this week. But if I were heading into the office, I'll tell you what I wouldn't be wearing: pantyhose. What sane person would willingly don nylon sheaths on their legs in this kind of temp? Then again, I wouldn't wear hose in any weather, for any circumstance. I don't in fact own any nylons, and likely never will again.

Recently I wrote in the magazine about what (not) to wear at the office. One of my sources, Barbara Pachter, who earns up to six gees a day advising corporations on business etiquette, told me: nylons are a must. I totally, emphatically disagree. Last week Pachter, author of NewRules@Work: 79 Etiquette Tips, Tools, and Techniques to Get Ahead and Stay Ahead, sent me some counter-arguments. Here's what she says you should consider when deciding whether or not to wear hose for business:

1. Remember you are dressing for work. The real question is not: Stockings or no stockings? The real question is: Is my clothing appropriate for my workplace? Wearing stockings will not fix an outfit that is too tight, too big, too revealing, too short, too casual, too anything!

2. Are you wearing pants or a skirt? More and more women are wearing pants or pantsuits to the office. As a result, their legs are not exposed and the question of whether to wear stockings or not becomes moot. When a woman wears a very short skirt, which is not recommended, and then wears that skirt without stockings, she makes a sexy look, even sexier.

3. What is the condition of your legs? Legs need to be in good conditions to pull off not wearing stockings. If your legs have a lot of moles, scars or veracious veins, stockings will diminish their appearance. And by all means women need to remember to shave their legs!

4. The hue/tone/color of your skin. Will the contrast between the color of your skin and the color of your clothing draw a lot of attention to your legs? Is that where you want people to look? Stockings can minimize the contrast.

5. The type of shoe. Stockings should not be worn with sandals, but wearing sandals can be sexy and displaying one’s toes can be unsightly! This brings us to flip-flops. But why are women wearing flip-flops to the office? It’s work, not the beach!

Pantyhose at work: yea or nay?

June 6, 2008 2:39

Another reason to forego flip-flops at work

Reader Jenn writes:

I just read your "What (Not) to Wear to Work"...I'm located in San Diego and a handful of employees here recently completed last weekend's Rock and Rock Marathon (including our President). As such, "dressy" sandals have been permitted in the office, until today. Today, one my colleagues lost her toenail while wearing sandals due to excessive running. It was found on the office floor. So disgusting and even more reason to ban flip-flips at work despite our close proximity to the beach and the fact that they are the only shoes I wear on weekends.

Ewwww.

June 6, 2008 10:55

I thought being pregnant at work blows now

When you attend a business event preceded by a grossly distended belly, other working moms feel compelled to share notes. I heard some interesting tales from the womb yesterday at this fancy breakfast I attended.

One executive told me that she was pregnant while she worked at IBM in the '70s. At the time, she says, the unwritten policy was that a woman had to quit as soon as her bump became obvious. So this woman wore baggy blouses and balloony dresses while her sympathetic boss told anyone who suspected that he thought he'd seen her inhaling some extra donuts lately.

Another woman told me she worked at a male-dominated magazine during her pregnancies. She had to sneak out of the office for her doctor appointments and, once the babies came, for kid-related duties and events. And that was just in the last decade.

At the same breakfast, Susan Taylor, editorial director of Essence, gave the keynote address about what mentoring means (she founded Essence Cares, a national mentoring movement that connects African-American kids with "able and stable" grown-ups). "You got to get your priorities straight," she said. Here she was back then, a black woman from Harlem heading a major magazine, trying to prove she had the stuff to play with the big boys. But what she looks back on with regret isn't the speech she didn't make or the big corporate account she didn't win; it's that she didn't spend more time back then with her young daughter. "We got to make up our own rules."

Isn't that true?