The Comet - January 2023

EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

everything will be fine

THIS issue

issue #51 - January 2023

Sarah Sims, Cory Calhoun, Lindsay Breidenthal, Jamie Howell, Christopher F. Hart, JessicaDawn.Co, Anna Spencer, Dan McConnell, Meg Kappler, Holly Thorpe

crossword..................................PAGE 7

grimscribe...............................PAGE 8

peggy ludwick........................ ..PAGE 12

tough tiddies part 4................. PAGE 14

to plot a mural.........................PAGE 16

ARTBEAT MAGAZINE.....................PAGE 19

local poetry....................... ..... PAGE 23

dustin hays.....................................PAGE 24

EVERYTHING Is FINE.....................page 27

pleasure in sex ed............ ........ PAGE 30

porn toons.................................PAGE 34

star bitch...................................PAGE 38

music collection.

COMET HEADQUARTERS

Greetings,

2023 - it sure sounds futurey doesn’t it? It should, it’s 4 years past when Blade Runner was supposed to have occurred. And still no flying cars, no hyper-lifelike robots, no floating entertainment barges and no rayguns that shoot out instant cures for cancer.

Nope… what we do have is folks lip-syncing movie lines on TikTok, seemingly more Trump years, various states of international emergency and AI ripping off artists to produce mostly-creepy (and sometimes smoking hot) portraits of ourselves. Sigh. It’s a future anyway.

And honestly, I’m glad to be here. Well - glad to be, anyway. It’s not the future any of us imagined but if we are above ground I s’pose there’s still hope for those flying cars.

Although, let’s be real. Do we even actually want those? ‘Flying cars’ is sorta the go-to point of comparison for where we are and where we should be, technologically speaking. Many of us can barely operate a ground car in a safe manner, yet we think we are ready to take that shit to the skies?

Not to mention the fact that acrophobia (fear of heights) is the most prevalent phobia (aside from spiders) - so how many folks are even interested in making flying a con-

stant part of their day to day life? You think you have parking anxiety? Try adding take-offs and landings to that Stress Sammich and we’ll have dubbs the trubbs.

So I guess I can see why we haven’t really been in a hurry to make with the whole flying cars part of ‘the future.’ Hyper-lifelike robots? Well, those are a different story. While we have a ways to go yet - the real advancements in this field are being made in the sex robot world. Because of course that’s where we are putting our real money, time and effort. The latest models still look a bit like mannequin Central Casting hookers from a bad 80s sex comedy, but they are getting better and more lifelike by the day. And they are being programmed with salacious AI that rips your clothes off, not your art. So I suppose at least to some degree, the promised future is coming...

Thank you.

I’ll show myself out.

Happy Trails,

"DAMN YOU" CALHOUN'S

puzzle corner

cscxwords@gmail.com

New year, new look! We're starting 2023 with our monthly meta crossword contest--no year-long puzzle like we did in 2022 (see its answer on the other side of the page), though watch for more surprises to come! Now, on to this month's crossword puzzle...

Enter for a chance to win a custom anagram-themed prize by solving 2023's first meta crossword! HOW TO

ENTER: 1 Solve the crossword on this page. 2 Solve its meta puzzle (for tips on how, visit tinyurl com/corymetas).

3 Email just the meta puzzle answer to the hint (don't send the solved grid!) to cscxwords@gmail com by 11:59pmPT, January 22, 2023. (One submission per entrant, please.) We'll randomly pick a winner from the correct entries, and announce the winner and puzzle answers in the next issue. Good luck!

Thisfirst m e t a crossword puzzle of 2023 : " REFLECTINGONCHANGES

HINT: Look for an 8-letter place.

ACROSS

1 Immediately, briefly

4 Discontinued antacid with ads involving stressful "moments"

10 La La Land actress Stone

14 "Skip to My ___"

15 Available, as a London limo

16 Water carrier

17 Singer DiFranco

18 Symbol of lousy service

19 Suffix with gazillion

20 Individuality

22 Spacecraft units

24 Facebook's parent company

25 Figure skater's jump

26 Kaput

30 Pilgrim's destination

34 Some tuxes or trailers

37 Apply thickly, with "on"

39

2022 MEGA-META CONTEST ANSWER

The 2022 Mega-Meta contest answer is PARTY (Hint: It's a 5-letter word associated with all 6 of 2022's meta puzzle answers.) Those 6 answers were SURPRISE, RESPONSIBLE, THIRD, GREEN, PITY, and MARIO. Adding PARTY to them yields well-known 2-word phrases:

- SURPRISE PARTY (we all know what that is)

- RESPONSIBLE PARTY (agroup that's at fault)

- THIRD PARTY (a business distinct from 2 others)

- GREEN PARTY (US political party est'd 2001)

- PITY PARTY (slang for feeling sorry for oneself)

- MARIO PARTY (popular Nintendo game series)

Congrats to grand prize winner Cynthia Peterson! Thanks to all who played, and have a great 2023!

SOLUTION TO PREVIOUS CROSSWORD

ANACROSTIC CHALLENGE Instructions

FEATURING: @grimscribe - DIGITAL KITSCH

AN INTERVIEW WITH PEGGY LUDWICK, AUTHOR OF “A DOCTOR’S WAR”

“A Doctor’s War: Letters and Reflections from the Frontlines of World War II” is a book 80 years in the making. Wenatchee author Peggy Ludwick’s father served in the U.S. Army’s 34th Infantry “Red Bull” Division in World War II. Before his death in 2008, she interviewed him about his time in the army. In the years following his death, she began to compile and read his letters home during his two-and-a-half years of service. She found a few stories there: one about the horrors and intricacies of World War II, one about a doctor and his patients, and one about a young couple navigating a new marriage a world apart.

After years of drafting, revision and sub-

mitting to editors and publishers, Ludwick published her book with McFarland in 2022 and began the journey of sharing and promoting her book.

Ludwick discusses her writing and publishing journey and to get her advice for new and seasoned writers.

About the author: Peggy Ludwick’s professional background is in microbiology and public health. Her published research has appeared in several medical journals. Her work experience includes supervising hospital clinical labs and gender equity work in the Yakima public school system. She has taught in a variety of educational settings and developed STEM-based curriculum for underserved students. She has always been interested in history and the lost art of letter writing. Discovering her father’s 265

eloquent letters home as a young medical officer during WWII was a revelation, and a gift she felt compelled to share. She lives in Wenatchee, Washington.

About the book:

“A Doctor’s War: Letters and Reflections from the Frontlines of World War II” is a unique perspective of war. As a medical officer on the frontlines of WWII, responsible for the physical and emotional well-being of traumatized and wounded soldiers, Lt. Col./Maj. Arthur L. Ludwick, M.D. was engaged in some of North Africa and Italy’s bloodiest battles. This riveting historical narrative is also a daughter’s discovery of the courageous and idealistic young man she never knew, before he became her father. Major Ludwick’s keen observations on the landscapes, cultures, and people he encounters are packed into the 265 eloquent love letters written home to his wartime bride of just two months. Based on a rich archive of interviews, letters, photos, and military documents, this captivating chronicle of our country’s last “good war,” gives new insights into true leadership, human character, and the irrational nature of war. This book is both a war story and a love story, and has appeal to a wide range of readers.

What advice do you have for writers considering writing a book like yours — either about family or in this format?

For a memoir or historical non-fiction narrative, organize your materials, research details, and make it all relevant to readers other than just your family members. Provide context for the reader and give them a reason to care about the people and subject matter. I only excerpted portions of my father’s letters that I thought would be of personal or historical interest to a wide range of readers. Since “A DOCTOR’S WAR” is both a war story and a love story, it appeals to both men and women. Without a story, information is meaningless. I did a lot of research on WWII to better understand the challenging circumstances of my father’s service as a medical officer on the frontlines of the bloody North Afri-

can and Italian campaigns. I wove this interesting information throughout the book to provide context for my dad’s letters and interviews. In other words, I helped the reader connect the dots throughout the book about not only the war but also about my parents as individuals. And including my own journey, discovering my mother and father as the young, idealistic, very much in-love couple they once were, before they became my parents, adds another layer to the book, giving the reader a reason to care about the characters driving the narrative.

Edit, edit, edit. Strip out any extraneous words and avoid trite phrases. I had at least six sets of eyes review my manuscript, including two professional editors, a professor with a Ph.D. in history, and 3 “beta-readers” (whom I selected for their interest/expertise in WWII). And yet, I still found many typos and errors after receiving the page proofs from my publisher. For me, the editing process is never-ending. Don’t forget to tap into local resources for help, ideas, and advice: other writers/authors in your area, experts in your book’s topic and focus, friends and professionals whom you respect to read/edit your manuscript and give honest feedback, community libraries, museums, and colleges for help with research.

Take chances. I randomly contacted Rick Atkinson, best-selling author, historian, and Pulitzer Prize winner for The Liberation Trilogy about my book, asking him if he’d read the manuscript and perhaps give me an endorsement — and to my surprise, he said yes!

What advice do you have for authors submitting to publishers? What was the most important lesson you learned?

Getting my book published was almost as much work as writing it. Creating concise yet compelling summaries of the book, ranging from 100 to 200 words, was a challenge — and I’m still constantly tweaking these for ongoing correspondence with a variety of contacts.

Then, contacting potential publishers/ literary agents with a well-written/onepage query (pitch) letter that, in the first sentence, sets the “hook” for the editor to want to read more, is essential. The query letter should summarize the book in about 150 words or less and include what makes your book unique and/or different from what’s already on the market in that genre. And, of course, you must have a strong book proposal ready to send to an interested publisher. Each publisher has its own custom criteria for a book proposal’s preferred format. The book proposal I sent to my publisher was about 70 pages: 20 pages of “pitch,” (including an annotated Table of Contents) and answering their specific questions, and 50 pages of excerpts from different chapters in the book. I sent out about 12 different book proposals to a well-curated group of publishers and literary agents I thought might be interested, each customized for a particular publisher’s requirements and focus.

There are many workshops/classes at writing conferences, books, and internet resources about how to submit a manuscript to a potential publisher.

Don’t be afraid to negotiate with your publisher about the book’s cover, title, and formatting. I wasn’t satisfied with what they first sent me, even though they purportedly had the final say. I spent many

months going back and forth with them and even then, I didn’t get everything I wanted. Yet, it was worth fighting for what I thought was important.

What’s been the most surprising reaction someone has had to your book?

Several readers, men included, told me the book moved them to tears. Also, many have said that they wished they had gotten to know their parents better, as individuals, while they were still alive.

You’re very active at marketing — what have you found works best? What’s not worth the energy?

Marketing my book has been almost a full-time job. These days, most non-fiction publishers expect the author to do the majority of the book’s marketing. Creating a website for the book was very helpful, as I could refer those interested to learn more about the book there: how the book came to be, interesting excerpts to “hook” a reader, a photo gallery, book reviews, etc. I worked with a website designer for the technical aspects, but filled all of the website’s content, myself.

I also set up a Facebook page and Instagram account for the book. It’s been a lot of work to keep the bi-weekly posts engaging and fresh, and I’m not sure if these

platforms have been worth the effort.

Since last May, I have sent out 5 newsletters about the book to a mailing list of 275 friends who may not be on social media. These newsletters are very visual with lots of photos and minimal text to create interest in the book. I also designed business cards for the book that I can take with me wherever I go, with essential contact information on the back and website info. On all social media platforms, in the newsletters and with the business cards, good visuals are vital to build the public’s interest and engagement.

I also developed a dynamic 30 minute PowerPoint program about the book for speaking engagements and programs. Using the many photos of my father’s service during the war, and of his army issued equipment and artifacts, has been very popular and well-received. I end the program with the “So What?” questions:

•What have you saved, treasured, and kept, and why?

•History is not just what happened, but what survives over time.

•With all our photos living on our phones and text/email communication being so transient, how will future generations come to know who we were?

•Our family stories connect us and provide valuable information about our-

selves. We’ve inherited not only our ancestors’ DNA, but also their life choices, social circumstances, and how they were impacted by the greater world.

How has your identity as a writer, researcher or author changed throughout the process of writing, researching, revising, publishing and now marketing your book?

Professionally, I have a science background, so it feels odd referring to myself as an author. Yet, now that I’m published, I guess it’s true. Throughout my life, I’ve always written long letters, and also oped pieces for local newspapers and for the last 15 years or so, I’ve enjoyed writing poetry and have even had a few pieces published in regional anthologies. I’ve definitely used my writing skills to market my book and communicate with a wide range of people.

Learn more about “A Doctor’s War”: Website: adoctorswar.com

Facebook Page:

facebook.com/ADoctorsWar

Instagram: @adoctorswar

Find the book trailer on YouTube by searching “A Doctor’s War Book Trailer” Purchase the book on Amazon or directly from the publisher at mcfarlandbooks.com. C

TOUGH TIDDIES: BREAST CANCER PART IV

Every holiday season reminds me of my breast cancer journey.

By Halloween 2019, I was the only 31-year-old I knew with a bilateral mastectomy. Shortly thereafter, we were pivoting because the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes - which were all removed the week of Thanksgiving. The week of Christmas, I [finally] received my first chemotherapy infusion.

It was an aggressive treatment, but I had an amazing team, husband of less than 1 year, and support system that made it easy to stay positive.

ENEMY NUMBER TWO

After following up Christmas with a weekend in the hospital, trying to get ahead of a fever, and going stir crazy, my New

Year’s resolution was to better manage my neutropenia. That is my white blood cells that help fight infections (neutrophils). In other words, my immune system was compromised for about two weeks following every chemotherapy infusion, and I needed to take that seriously.

I was told getting a fever during those two weeks was serious, but now I understand what the fuss was all about. I could have died from whatever bug I had. A bug that a healthy, normal immune system would not think twice about.

I don’t think it ever crossed my mind that I could die from something other than cancer at this point. Cancer was enemy number one. Everything else could wait until enemy number one was contained. Yet, when I think about it, most people I know have died from complications - not the cancer itself. My complication could have been a common virus contracted from something as simple as a hug.

I suppose if anyone were to die from a hug, it would be me. I fucking love hugs.

MASKING BEFORE COVID

In January 2020, I was buying face masks, hand sanitizer, and disinfectant wipes in bulk. No toilet paper - but extra kitty litter so my husband could begrudgingly take over cleaning the litter box. I was avoiding flowers, tampons, and razors, and our meal train was updated to include food safety measures. My friend even made an immunocompromised sign for guests at our front door. That was the easy part.

Since finding out that hugs could be the death of me, I had to encourage “elbow kisses.” It was torture. I was just elbowing a bunch of people in the gut all the time.

With the cold and flu season in full swing, I also had to wear a mask often. I specifically picked out a cute mask, to avoid alarming other people. Not that it

deterred them from thinking I was sick. When have I ever seen a sick person actually wear a mask [pre-Covid]? Never. Hence the mask.

I wish I could have explained that to the woman at Target who felt the need to loudly point out “that girl with the mask” to her friend. I shared her disappointment with the people who were out spreading all their germs this time of year - but that was why I was wearing a mask. The truth is, I ran out of that store in tears. I was looking for one moment of normalcy but felt publicly ridiculed by someone who knew nothing about me (and clearly lacked common sense).

Obviously, wearing my own mask came with struggles - but it was nothing compared to asking other people to wear masks on my behalf.

After quarantining for about two weeks after each chemo infusion, I wanted to see people and do normal things that didn’t

have anything to do with cancer. Since the Target incident, I was avoiding going out alone, so work was my outlet. I was working remotely, but I couldn’t wait to get back into the office as soon as I was able. There, I was just a teammate that worked as hard as everyone else.

However, it was a risk for me to live a semi-normal life. Everyone was getting sick; especially in the office, where people were working overtime toward two very large upcoming events. I gave fun masks to everyone and asked that they tell me if they were sick or feeling sick so I could plan accordingly. In the beginning, almost everyone was respectful of these requests. Having lived through a pandemic, I think we all know where this is going.

Maybe it’s because masks are annoying, and we weren’t used to them. Maybe saying that I could die if I got sick was too dramatic to be believable. Maybe it was my fault for insisting on being around people in the first place. Whatever the case, eventually some of my best friends refused to wear masks when they were openly sick around me.

Frankly, I was hurt and disappointed. Everyone said they wanted me to conquer cancer and live. But I got the impression that asking people to be uncomfortable for a couple of hours was too big of an ask. We were fighting together until it was inconvenient - at which point I was on my own.

Then Covid hit.

TREATMENT DURING A PANDEMIC

Every three weeks, my infusion came and went. I found that my recovery was easier when I was laughing during an infusion, so I brought a new guest with me every time. I had also been invited to a support group for younger adults with cancer and was able to connect with more people like me. I was still the youngest person in the group, and further along in treatment than most, but I was finally able to talk to people who knew what I was going through.

I had a good routine and was in a good place when Covid came along.

Before the end of February, everything I had prepared for just a couple of months prior was being played out on a worldwide level: quarantining, preventing the spread of germs, masks, no hugs, etc.

With a new virus on the block, my family was particularly worried about me. I was still taking every precaution, but I got the distinct impression that I was expected to quarantine in my bedroom until Covid was eradicated.

Unfortunately, the new support group was disbanded indefinitely, including the Facebook group that was created for us to connect remotely. Luckily, one of the Facebook members was able to find a few

of us separately, so we could continue to video chat regularly. They were my lifeline.

I watched some of my friends start to comprehend the importance of wearing masks to protect people like me. I listened as others argued whether it was really worth going out of their way to protect people like me. The thing I was struggling with the most - being worthy of living a normal life if it was inconvenient to other people - was public debate.

At the time, I was grateful that this was all temporary for me. But this experience has helped me to understand how hard it must be for people that live with a compromised immune system permanently, every day.

RING THAT BELL

Luckily, my infusions were never canceled or postponed. However, hospitals were not allowing guests to come to appointments, so I was on my own for doctor visits and my final infusion.

Yet so many people had me in their hearts that day.

I was placed in a private infusion room. One of the nurses knew my friends would bring activities to do, so she supplemented coloring activities. A friend working in the hospital stopped in to visit me with celebratory gifts. I also had strict instructions to join a zoom with my coworkers, at which point they shared a video they compiled of so many of my friends and family ringing celebratory bells for me.

You see, there is no bell to ring in oncology when you are done with treatment (and I believe there are good reasons for this). But my nature is to celebrate - I wanted a bell!

As I got up to leave, the nurses conducted a graduation ceremony, presenting me with written signs of encouragement. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, my friends and family arranged a surprise car parade where I was presented with a bell that I could finally ring myself.

Drugged and exhausted, I climbed into bed with a full heart. Every year, I rewatch all the videos to remind myself of the village that got me through my last infusion during a pandemic.

RADIATION

The month that followed chemotherapy was privately eventful. I turned 32. I lost my eyebrows and eyelashes at the same time they were growing back in. My immune system bounced back while I was trying to figure out what treatment side effects were permanent and temporary: neuropathy, hot flashes, night sweats, weight gain, joint pain, and a lot of sleepless nights.

I also went in to get set up for radiation. I was tattooed, fitted, and configured so

that every weekday for 28 total sessions, my husband and I could walk down to the hospital, and I could get radiation treatment. Ongoing Covid restrictions meant my husband could no longer enter the building with me and had to sit outside. The sessions were short and routine and went by quickly.

Frankly, radiation was all a bit uneventful. I welcomed uneventful. Walking to my appointments helped to fend off fatigue symptoms. I continued working remotely but took dance breaks whenever I was tired or restless. When I finished radiation, I was presented with a certificate of completion.

As expected, the radiation side effects came after the appointments were over. I had a solid burn on the right side of my chest and under my arm. In the hot July days, the burn in my armpit started to peel and I could barely put my arm down. I was applying creams regularly, just to sweat it all away. I tried my best to grin and Tylenol through it. It was only a couple of weeks, but it felt like an eternity. The radiation oncologist couldn’t do anything for me, but he did say some patients swore diaper rash cream was the best remedy.

I now swear by diaper rash cream.

I am forever amazed by the human body. For a couple of weeks, I struggled through insufferable burns. Yet, when the healing process began, it was all over in a matter of days.

The worst of my treatment was over. My excruciating burn was reduced to a bad tan line, and I was starting to develop a peach fuzz on the top of my head - my hair was starting to grow back! I was entering remission and ready to go back to my normal life.

OOPHORECTOMY

Once treatment was done, I knew I needed to start a drug that I would continue to take for the next 5-10 years. The idea was to continue eliminating the estrogen levels in my body because my cancer ate estrogen, and we didn’t want it to come back.

My oncologist explained that he wanted to put me on stronger drugs. To do so, my estrogen levels had to be always in the tank. As anticipated, I had chemically induced menopause during chemo, and I hadn’t had a menstrual cycle in over 6 months. My estrogen levels were already in the tank. To keep them there, I could have a shot in my ass regularly or have my ovaries removed.

As if that was a hard decision!

I was tired of being pumped with drugs. I also don’t like shots in my ass, if I’m being honest. An oophorectomy was the obvious choice. What was one more surgery?

I was recommended to an OB/GYN. It was a routine appointment that I had to attend alone. In procedural fashion, she

asked me if I wanted to have this surgery knowing it is irreversible and I will no longer be able to have children of my own (unless I freeze my eggs in advance, yadda yadda). I thought it was a dumb question. Obviously, I cannot reverse this. I’m in menopause! I’m not losing anything I didn’t already destroy.

Au contraire mademoiselle. While it does not happen to everyone, chemically induced menopause can reverse itself! There was a chance my ovaries could recover, and I could have babies. It wasn’t exactly a good chance, but it was possible.

It was like a punch to my funny bone. It was uniquely painful, and the words reverberated in every inch of my body. I had gone through this before when my oncologist told me chemotherapy would damage my ovaries. It was my understanding that there was no coming back from that. Yet here I was, processing every vulnerable, excruciating minute of that loss again. In that chair. In front of this stranger. Without my husband.

My poker face is crap when it comes to my fertility. This is probably why, for the first time in nearly a year of appointments, I was asked if I would like to talk to a therapist.

I left with a surgery appointment for the week of my one-year wedding anniversary. I cried in my car in the parking lot. When I got home, I collapsed on the floor.

So many times, people told me that they would be a puddle on the floor if they had to go through what I went through. How did I stay so strong? Did I ever cry?

I cried all the fucking time. And on this day, in my puddle on the floor, I shared that with the world. I think being strong is admitting you’re weak too.

REMISSION

My oophorectomy (I just like saying oophorectomy) ended up being rescheduled to a later date. The recovery was my most excruciating to date. But it’s done and now I just take one pill a day.

When I asked my oncologist if I could tell people I’m in remission, he said yes, “You can tell them the hell you’ve been through the last year to get here.”

But here’s the thing. What I didn’t know - what I least expected - was that remission was really the hardest stage of them all…

Read Part 5 in February’s Comet

Everyone’s cancer journey is different because every cancer, treatment, body, and circumstance is different. If you or someone you love is going through cancer, please do not take this as a roadmap to the cancer journey. If you have questions, talk to a doctor for medical advice. C

TO PLOT A MURAL: WITH SARA HASSLINGER

Local artist Sara Hasslinger recently completed her massive mural in downtown Wenatchee. If you’ve been in the area it’s impossible to miss. Hasslinger was selected by the Wenatchee Downtown Association out of several applicants who were vying for the coveted wall space between Mela and The Antique Mall. The Comet reached out to Hasslinger to learn more about the conception and planning process of this vibrant new mural.

As it turns out, it was only the second mural she’d ever done.

“I was working on a mural about the same size as the one downtown - it was at a private residence - and one of my friends reached out and told me about the application request for the downtown mural. I was pretty busy at the time but I thought I may as well try to come up with something. I did a super quick sketch based on the old postcard letters style that Curt Tiech made famous in the early 1900’s. The next step was another small sketch but a little more fleshed out, and colorful. Once they approved the design they were pretty hands-off from then on. Linda Haglund (Executive Director - Wenatchee Downtown Association) was amazing, she really trusted me to just go make it based on these small concept sketches. But I hadn’t really decided what each letter would represent yet. It had to pass two tests, it needed to be legible as the word WENATCHEE as people were driving by, and in all seasons. Each letter also needed to feature something that represents the past, present and future of Wenatchee.

Prep and painting: When prepping the boards we had to do a lot of work to get the

material, that ACM stuff. Once I had the dimensions for the wall space I started playing with the layout with help from my boyfriend Joss (Paddock). We had to work with 24 4’x 8’ panels so I made a grid to start mapping out what went on what panel. I was shuffling around the large panels in my basement all summer. I only had room to put two panels together at a time. I never had a full mockup of the entire piece so I didn’t see it all put together until it was actually hung into place downtown. Which I now realize is kinda crazy. It actually was a pretty complicated way to paint. The image of the skier crosses over four separate panels, so that was tricky.

Installation and finish work: I relied on the knowledge of some of the more seasoned muralists in the valley like Marlin Peterson, along with Heather Dappen and Ellen Bruex of Fight The Beige. Heather and Ellen also helped do some of the detail painting. Marlin was a big help with some of the technical suggestions. This painting was going over an existing mural so we needed to follow some of that existing structure - only after lots of reinforcing though. That part of the wall was looking a little worse for wear. Joss was all over that - bracing it and getting it straightened back up. So we now have a really solid structure.

The response: There’s always mixed reactions to a new mural but this was covering an old mural so you never knew how people would respond. Thankfully people have been very kind, and it seems to have been well received. You can’t please them all, of course. Once, while I was up on the scaffolding, this guy comes up and he’s like, “I hate it.” I laughed, and I’m like…you’re joking, right? He’s like, “No, I absolutely hate it.” And I go, oh, oh, well, you can’t win ‘em all. But what is it that you don’t like about it? He said “It’s boring. It looks just like every other sign out there.” I said he should come back next week to see the final piece. And he’s like, “All right, but I don’t think I’ll like it any better.” I did see someone online complaining that I was just stitching together large pieces of vinyl. Nope! It’s all hand painted. One interesting encounter while I was up on the scaffolding was with another gentleman who wandered up. He was very kind and after taking it all in he said “I’m Ed Joachims. I painted the original mural. I love what you’re doing here.” So that was great to get his blessing about me covering his mural. Although the nice thing about the panels is that his mural is still underneath the new one - unlike if I had just painted over the old one on site.”

Over the years at the Wenatchee Valley Museum, there have been some odd and strange things that have been donated to the collection. While currently there is a screening process and procedures in place for donating items, this wasn’t always the case. We occasionally find oddities lying around from years gone by with little or no explanations.

A very fitting theme for this time of year is the abandoned frame in our art storage room. The original canvas has been removed and all that is left is a very comical depiction of “Wenatchee in Winter.”

HOLIDAY

I spent the Christmas after your death hunched above a puzzle; it had a thousand pieces, the unmatched angles of a forest caught by early snow, bright yellow leaves still clinging to their branches.

The photograph on the box was so clear I could see each crack of rock, each leaf hung above the brink of winter. The pieces lay scattered about my dining room, a mess of white and yellow waiting for me to set it right, so many thousands of leaves, so much crumbling. Who could count?

Even a sister, even a wife of ten years one day gets out of bed and puts on red

either because it’s Christmastime again or because the black dresses sit unwashed in the laundry and there’s nothing left to wear. I told myself the leaves weren’t worth it. I told myself you were just another falling. I did the laundry every day. I never solved the puzzle.

I MUST BE FAR

I must be far from men and women

To love their ways.

I must be on a mountain

Breathing greatly like a tree

If my heart would yearn a little For the peopled, placid valley.

I must be in a bare place

And lonely as a moon

To find the graceless ways of people

Worthful as a flower’s ways, A flower that lives for loneliness

And dies when beauty dies.

I cannot find music

On the tongues of men and women

Unless I hear their voices

Like echoes, silence-softened. Their many words mean little. Their mouths are blatant sparrows.

I must be far from men and women, As God is far away, To keep my faith with Beauty, My heart sweet towards them, And love them with a god’s tranquility.

ARTBEAT

FIRST FRIDAYS ARTS WALK MAP INCLUDED

STRONG START TO NEW YEAR FOR NCW ARTS

The North Central Washington Arts Alliance is starting strong in 2023, with big plans for the year ahead. Up first, is the addition of our newest board member and treasurer, Sherri Schneider. Schneider has been a pioneer in the local food movement here in the Valley who also brings expertise in strategic non-profit fund development. She is also currently the Executive Director of the Columbia Valley Housing Association. We are excited to welcome her vision and enthusiasm for holistic support of the communities in our region.

2023 is shaping up to be a year of increased collaboration and partnerships with a variety of regional entities. We received generous funding from Chelan County to boost efforts in expanding the Arts Walk as part of the First Friday experience in Wenatchee and will continue to work with Visit Chelan County and the Wenatchee Downtown Association on this effort. As ever, our focus is regional, and our work won’t stop there!

FEATURED EVENT:

PROJECT PIVOT

To streamline the process of linking artists, performers, musicians and other creatives with opportunities to showcase their work while supporting our local economies, we are in the process of developing an Artist Registry which will be housed on a new-and-improved website. Stay tuned in the coming months for registration and membership details. In the meantime, visit ncwARTS.org for funding, advocacy, classes, and other amazing opportunities.

FEATURED OPPORTUNITY:

ART EDUCATORS NEEDED AT CENTRAL

The Department of Art and Design at Central Washington University is actively seeking applications for part-time lecturers to teach on a quarter-by-quarter basis on their campus in Ellensburg. They are looking for lecturers in visual arts, art history, graphic design and more. Find out more on the CWU careers page at www.cwu.edu/hr/careers.

More opportunities for artists await. Check out ncwARTS.org.

SEEKING... HOSTS FOR FIRST FRIDAYS AFTER HOURS:

We’re looking for local businesses who would like to invite First Fridays Arts Walkers to come wind down their Art Walk from approximately 7:30 to 9:30 p.m. following a future First Fridays event. If you are interested in hosting the Arts community for an evening, please let us know with an email to arts@ncwARTS.org.

GET THE ARTBEAT IN YOUR EMAIL!

Simply scan the QR code here to sign up for the NCW Arts Mailing List and we’ll keep you posted!

Voortex Productions’ Charley Voorhis releases his new feature length documentary, Project Pivot, with a Wenatchee premiere and after party on Jan. 20 at the Numerica Performing Arts Center. Voorhis narrates as a skateboarder,

a mountain biker and a rock climber are dropped into each other’s sports to discover what drives them, what scares them and what they all have in common. Find tickets and more info at voortexproductions.com

FILLING IN THE GAPS

How would you use $1,500? Seattle based non-profit Artist Trust recently awarded 65 Washington State artists the 2022 Grants for Artists Progress (GAP) Grant. Of those, ten artists live in Chelan, Kittitas, and Okanogan counties and are part of our regional, cultural wealth.

The 2023 Grants for Artists’ Progress (GAP) are described as unrestricted project-based grants of $1,500 for artists working in all disciplines across Washington State who are Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC), and/or residing outside King County.

Like many organizations, Artist Trust underwent some changes over the last two years in an attempt to “…begin reversing historic inequalities. Through artist feedback, focus groups, and research with partner organizations, our team learned that artists preferred unrestricted funding for their vision and creative projects. Additionally, we understand that King County has the greatest funding and resources for artists, and it is imperative that we attempt to reach rural artists in our state. With this new iteration of GAP, we saw an opportunity to widen our support of artists of all backgrounds living outside of King County,” according to the Artist Trust website.

This is good news for the rest of us because there’s a lot of state out there! As a lead up to the next GAP Grant application deadline coming up in May, NCW Arts reached out to several of the

recent GAP Grant recipients to learn more about how they navigated the GAP application process. We spoke to visual artist Kasey Koski from Chelan County; multi-disciplinary artist/performer Dan Nanamkin from Okanogan County; and visual artist Kyung Hee “Kate” Im from Kittitas County.

Neither Koski nor Nanamkin had applied for the GAP Grant before, but Kyung Hee has been both accepted and rejected in her previous requests for funding. “The GAP Grant award is one of the proudest fundings I have received,” she said, “And I appreciate the Artist Trust and their donors for this great honor to be one of the recipients.”

We asked this year’s recipients to share their thoughts on the process:

What was the most challenging aspect of the application process?

KK: Trying to define what I would use the funds for. Although I would love to start a new project, I decided to use it for some professional development. I’ve been horrible at self-promotion and I hope to build a website.

DN: Always the suspense to know if you may be a recipient or not.

KHI: Word limits and writing a project description was the most challenging. After I moved from the Midwest to Washington, the change in environment made it hard to feel motivated to create new artwork. Thinking about new projects can come easily, but sometimes I need more time to unfold my idea visually in my mind. I am glad that I can feel the

communities welcoming me here and being supportive. Now it is my time to share my artwork with the communities.

What aspect of your project or process will this award support?

KK: Time. I have spent the last few years of the pandemic working even harder than before at my day job. I’m exhausted and in order to make any forward headway on my project, I hope to take some additional time off from the daily grind.

DN: This award will help me preserve my support of our indigenous language, storytelling, cultural resiliency and humanity in support of the future generations by preserving songs and recordings of original compositions I have created.

KHI: As a visual artist, during the creative idea process, one point leads me to a financial problem. After experiencing the pandemic, a huge gap in inflation from last year to this year, and after moving from the Midwest, I am always hesitant about spending money on materials. However, with the GAP award support, I feel better about the financial burden and that makes me want to create more artwork than ever.

What advice do you have for artists who are considering applying for grant funding?

KK: Just give it a try. If you have something you believe in, others will see its value also. Spend time with your writing. Make sure you have articulated what you are hoping for. Have others proofread to be sure they also see your vision in your written word.

Visual thinkers aren’t always the best at articulating that vision. (I’m guilty of this as are, I suspect, many of us.)

DN: I would encourage indigenous artists and those who live in typically underserved areas to apply for future grants. Believe in your dreams.

KHI: I want to say go for it. After I moved to Washington State in July 2022, I set my first goal to apply for the GAP. I would advise artists who are considering applying for grant funding to take their time and gather their creative ideas and documentation. Write them down and read them, then come back to them again and again and update each time until you have nothing to change and you are ready to submit. Also, I want to say - be yourself and be honest about your work and your situation. In that way, you can share what you have in your mind, and people will understand you and your artwork better.

Congratulations to all our NCW 2022 GAP Grant Recipients!

Michael Caemmerer - Performing

Linda Cooper - Literary

Salyna Gracie - Visual

Kasey Koski - Visual

Kyung Hee Im - Visual

Dan Nanamkin - Multi-disciplinary

Lorna Rose - Literary

Claire SiannaSeaman - Media/Visual

T.L. Timpe - Literary

Hanna Viano - Visual

SCAN FOR DIGITAL INTERACTIVE

FIRST FRIDAYS MAP!

FIRST FRIDAYS AFTER HOURS NESTLES IN AT NORWOOD

Come hang out with your fellow art lovers at First Fridays After Hours coming up Friday, Jan. 6, at Norwood Wine Bar in downtown Wenatchee between 7 and 9 p.m. Norwood is a 21-and-over wine bar serving high quality Washington State wines and

delectable food plates. Arts Walkers will receive $2 off glass pours. Norwood Wine Bar is located at 23 S. Wenatchee Avenue. Check them out at norwoodwinebar.com or, better yet, join us this First Friday, Jan 6.

FIRST FRIDAYS ARTS MAP

LOCAL POETRY

When We Hunt Them/When They Hunt Us

When the moon is full The wolves go out searching for The place the deer sleep

We have found their tracks We are close, I can smell them I’m salivating

Rustling of leaves

Awakens me to dark eyes Closing in on us

Snow Kissed Mountains In June

Shit. Fuck.

I lose. I lose all the fucking time but not like this.

Not this often. Not this brutally. Shit.

The fortune of the cookie is staler than the goddamn cookie itself. This fortune.

This miserable goddamn fucking fortune. I’m spinning. I’m falling. I lose but not like this.

Not this brutal. The window blinds are closed. But I hear the mountains look neat today.

DUSTIN HAYS: A MAGNIFICENT OBSESSION

When we launched The Comet Magazine - late 2017 - we knew we wanted an ongoing feature that was dedicated to local music. The obvious choice was reaching out to Wenatchee musician/music historian and voracious collector, Dustin Hays. We knew he’d deliver some well-written, intriguing tales about the past and the present music scene in Wenatchee. Now, dozens of features later, I feel (and many readers agree) that his B-Sides column has provided some of the most compelling features this little rag has published.

Hays’ passion (obsession) for chasing down these stories has been an invaluable gift to Wenatchee from a standpoint of preservation and historical record. I wanted to chat with him about how all of this got started. To find out what drives him to dig through dusty basement bins, stuffy bat-infested attics and stop at every second hand store he thinks may be hiding treasures tied to our local music history.

Give us a little bit of your encapsulated bio concerning your involvement in the local music scene.

I first got involved in the local scene somewhere in junior high school. ‘Involved’ might be a stretch though. Music was a big part of my life growing up. My mom was a local disc jockey (KLASSY 105, KXA, KW3), and had an intense collection. My dad was a lover of top 40 hits of the ‘60s and ‘70s, and for a while in high school had booked shows at a teen hangout called The Attic (top floor of the YMCA building) and had worked for some local stations (KYJR/KEYK) around town. Music was always a part of my brain for as long as I can recall. I started really caring about music around age 13 or 14. I played drums in the Junior High Band and started writing songs with my best friend Garren Williams. We hardly performed for people, but were surrounded by guys actively giggin’ around town, Elliot Dix and the DFR guys, Keefer Tomchick’s band The Blue Bus, Theoria, J Schmauder, El Capitan. Whether it be nerves, or low confidence, through high school I played maybe four or five shows. But still, from that time on I felt somewhat connected to the music the people around me were making, even if from afar, completely unproductively. For awhile there, the only time I’d show my face at a local show would be if The Blue Bus, or Keefer’s later band Jipsea Party were on the bill.

When did all of that turn into an interest in the history of local music? And when/

where/how did you start on your quest for finding local treasures?

I had never really considered that Wenatchee even had a music history until I was 17 or 18. My dad had gifted me his 45 collection, and I discovered his copy of “Say You Love Me” by Billy and the Kids, released locally on Julian Records in 1966. He had presented the record to me as we were digging through the box, very nonchalant, like “these guys were from Sterling (Middle School).” Super simple, distorted garage rock, that can measure up to any four chord rock tune you threw at it. After hearing that record, the obsession set in. As I finished high school more and more of my thoughts were consumed by thinking about that local label Julian Records. Most healthy, level-headed people have hobbies with their friends, watch sports... play video games.. I more or less just obsessed about that label for a few straight years. There was a period of time where I was saving money with the specific intent of dropping a grand on a copy of Judd Hamilton & the Furys Julian 45, checking all corners of the internet daily for the disc to show up.

Tell us a little about the Julian label. Julian was a local record label ran by Don Bernier during the 60s. Don was a disc jockey at KMEL (now KW3), so getting the records played locally on the radio was an easy task. From 1961-1971 the Julian label put out 15 singles from rock and country groups across Central Washington. Like all regional releases of the time, they pressed very few of each 45 - so finding copies nowadays can be quite the task.

For years I’ve had the goal to put together a double LP compilation of the label’s full catalog - just recently a Spokane friend of mine tasked himself with helping me finally get the project put together. Still in the beginning stages of everything. It’s probably a year and a half or more away from the finish line.

Have you been involved with the museum at all - either in your searches for info or in any kind of exhibit collaboration?

Since the 2017 Apple Capital Records exhibit I haven’t been involved with the museum, aside from sharing some huge discoveries via email with Kasey Koski (Curator of Exhibits). She’s helped with using photos from the museum’s collection for a few of my Comet columns, but this town’s music scene is only a miniscule part of the culture and history they can showcase, so we’re not collaborating that often.

What are some of your favorite places to dig through? Are there some you keep secret?

I love digging around Central Washington, maybe anything from Wenatchee to Yakima. Since my collecting has a heavy regional bias, I don’t have a ton of fun digging for music the further away from home I get. Nowadays any antique, thrift store or junk shop that doesn’t throw their records, tapes and CDs in the dumpster (it happens more than you’d think) has a warm place in my heart. Everywhere I dig is googleable, but the selfish collector in me refuses to list them out.

Do you know how many items you have collected?

If you don’t single out just the records, or tapes, or flyers and just include everything it’s easily in the thousands. I’m just now starting to calm down the blind accumulation, but for a while I was buying anything with any mention of local music being performed. Crappy Wenatchee church cassette? Purchased. Wenatchee High theater program from 1937, with some mention of who played piano? Purchased. 18 sealed copies of the Partner CD? PURCHASED. There’s a whole room in my apartment with drawers filled with old newspapers, photos, folders of flyers and posters, records, cassette tapes, CDs, radio station gear, business cards... it’s a little over the top.

If you had to save one item from a sinking rowboat - what would it be?

My dad’s copy of the Billy and the Kids (see front cover) record is the only thing I need to save - worst case scenario. Luckily I do have a grab-in-case-of-emergency box of local 45s that are near impossible to replace. Whoever loaded all my crap onto a rowboat is a proper asshole. This is a thought I really don’t enjoy thinking about... but it is a good exercise in realizing that all these “artifacts” are just material junk with lots of assigned value, and that life goes on without my 6” x 3” photo of the Nomads’ hearse.

What are some holy grail things you have been on the lookout for?

I’m forever looking for a Teacher’s Pett demo tape - copies existed at some point in time, but cassette tapes are so easily destroyed, who knows how many survived the last 40 years. I have yet to see interior photos of the D&D Roller Bowl when a band was playing. I’ve heard from musicians about particular memories they have of crowd members with cameras. But none have shown up so far. A Peshastin band called the Yorktowne Singers recorded two singles on a Seattle label in the mid ‘60s.

I’ve got one, but the other seems to be impossible to track down. The museum has a poster from an Auditorium show, but I’d go nuts if I found one for myself. Also Don Bernier’s business card and a flyer from my dad’s days booking shows at the Attic. You have covered a lot of local musicians - many that are no longer with us. What kind of response have these tributes and features gotten from the community, and maybe friends and family of the subjects?

For a while now I’ve been the “Wenatchee Music History Dude,” a lot of people around town know me solely as the guy that likes learning about old local bands. The families I’ve heard from over the years are always appreciative that I took the time to care and share my interest. Any reception I’ve received is positive... that’ll be fun to deal with the first instance someone isn’t cool with me geekin’ out.

What have been some of the biggest surprises you have had with unearthing some of these artifacts of local music history?

When I found out that The Chessmen and the Furys were essentially the same band, I felt like I was Indiana Jones or something. The Chessmen were Jack Bedient’s band through the ‘60s. Local guys, they put out a ton of records while based in Nevada, and released some singles on Columbia Records. Along with Danny and Judd Hamilton, probably the most successful musicians from Central Washington during the 1960s. Before I knocked on Glenn Taylor’s front door to ask him questions about playing in the Furys, and he tossed in “then we went on with Bedient as the Chessmen” almost no one outside the band’s circles knew that prior to Bedient & the Chessmen recording on a major label, the band (minus Bedient) appeared as the Furys on the second Julian Records 45, with Judd Hamilton on vocals. That blew some people’s minds.

Along with researching and collecting the music, photos, news clippings etc., you often go into some of the history concerning the locations of the venues and music shops of the past. Talk about the connection these spaces and buildings have to your stories and your collecting.

It’s all a part of the scene. Most local musicians nowadays know what it’s like to play at Wally’s, what the PA sounds like, how many people you can fit inside, where you load in. There was a point in interviewing musicians that I started asking those questions about old rooms. The second I learn about an old venue that’s new to me, I have

those questions running through my head - Who booked it? What was the capacity? How’d the room sound? It’s something that a photo can’t tell me, and something that hasn’t been archived anywhere else. Music stores were a similar extension my brain started making. As I found old price tags on things, I started making lists of the stores that used to exist, and started asking more and more people about them. In my lifetime, Hastings, Camelot Music and Music Galore (Handy Randy’s) were the only places I had to buy music. I get a kick out of knowing that 100 years back, if I wanted the newest 78 release, I could go to the Scott Prowell Music Co. at 34. North Wenatchee Ave. to get myself a copy...

Much of the music/bands you are interested in were playing in town before you were old enough to get a ticket (or even be alive). If you had a time machine and could travel back to see some performances in Wenatchee, who would it be. And why?

I’d jump at the chance to travel back in time to see Billy & the Kids, the Talismen or the Chargers live at the Wenatchee city pool in the ‘60s, or to see the Furys play D&D. Then again it would’ve been amazing to see Bob Godfrey’s jams with Don Lanphere at the Golden Rooster, Belle Star and Hard Luck play to a packed field at Lincoln Park in 1979. Lopez at the Franklin House. And I would’ve loved to be in

attendance at the Wrek’s first show at the Basement in ‘09.

If you could bring back one of Wenatchee’s long gone venues/shops what would it be?

Probably the Franklin House that sat across from Wally’s, currently occupied by the Link bus station. So much lore is attached to that venue. Three different floors had music. Punk bands, jazz pianists, country groups, tons of people played in that building. The punk scene currently housed inside the walls of Wally’s House of Booze comes from a lineage of punkers that leads back to shows at the Franklin House, it’d just be cool to create some memories for

myself inside that building.

Are there plans for any kind of future exhibit of your collection?

Not currently. But I’m game.

If someone reading this has some items or information that may lead you to some sweet finds how can they reach you?

I’ll respond quickest through instagram @dstnhays or you can email me at dstnhays@gmail.com. C

EVERYTHING IS FINE

This morning I decided to do a hard thing. It’s actually an easy thing (in theory) for a lot of people, but it’s a super hard thing for me. I went to the gym. It’s not the exercise that’s hard about going to the gym for me. It’s all the people. And the being perceived. And the terrible loud music and innumerable televisions on, all on different channels. It’s a sensory nightmare. Oh, and the fact that everytime I go (which is not often) I have to make a new account and get my photo taken to put in their system and I hate getting my photo taken because as soon as I’m being looked at I instantly forget how to be a person. So I muster up the courage to go. I go with my parents who are both easy going and have been going to this specific gym for months so they know their way around. I should preface by saying I’ve tried to go to this same gym with another buddy of mine and had a panic attack a few minutes in and had to leave. So, I was going in hoping to be more prepared than last time. Noise canceling headphones, check. Blue light blocking glasses to help with the terrible

fluorescent lighting, check. Compression tights for added comfort and deep pressure to keep my nervous system calm, check. Microdose of magic mushrooms…maybe.

We get there and of course they don’t have me in their system; I’m going as a buddy with my mom’s buddy pass. I have to stand there and have my photo taken by a stranger who dares to LOOK AT ME. Ugh. I survive it. We put our things in a locker and head to the ellipticals. I don’t know how to use anything so I button mash until it turns on and I climb aboard. Ok, I did it. I’m doing it!! I’m exercising at the gym! I do that for a bit and then my mom tells me we’re changing stations and we’re going to go work on our triceps and biceps. God damn it I just got comfortable here. And by comfortable I mean I was accepting the fact that everyone behind me and beside me and generally around me could see me moving my body. I hated it, but I was starting to accept it. We hop off the elliptical and head to the other machines. I immediately shut down. I leave my body. My mom is talking to me - through my noise canceling headphones blasting com-

fort shoegaze tunes - and I can’t make out her words. Normally I can have something blasting in my ears and still read lips or catch the gist of a convo, but not this time. I was dissociating hard. She did 3 different machines while I stood there frozen and unable to function. Nope, can’t do it, can’t just exist in a big open room where people can perceive me moving my body. My mom kept asking me questions about what I wanted and needed and I had no idea. I wasn’t in my body. I was on another planet just maneuvering my weird meat suit via satellite, barely. I was so detached from my reality that I couldn’t make choices. She finally said I could just go wait in the car if I needed a break. Brilliant! I bolted for the lockers (ironically the most exercise I got the entire time there), grabbed the car keys and made a getaway. Nothing like starting the day off with a racing heart that was supposed to be from exercising but was actually from a panic attack. It’s cardio all the same. I actually had to stop wearing my fitbit because it was constantly congratulating me on my “Great Cardio!” when I was merely sitting still and existing with anxiety. My life is fun.

We need some sensory friendly gyms. I guess that’s my takeaway. Autistic folks like exercising too but not when the whole room is lined with mirrors for people to look at you in, from all different angles! I also logically understand that no one is really looking at other people in there. Everyone is so far up their own ass and doing their own thing. But logic doesn’t work in these circumstances for me. Also do we need THAT many T.V.’s?! At a certain point it just feels wasteful and distasteful. And all on different channels!? So many colors flashing and things moving across the screen, it’s enough to induce a seizure, or at very least motion sickness. Plus the loud “pump you up!” music. Fuck off with that. I think I’m not a gym person. And maybe that’s ok. I’ll just walk around my block and get my cardio through stress and panic attacks like a sensible adult. I so desperately wish I could be a regular person and do regular person things. But I’m accepting more and more my limitations and the things that make me an interesting weirdo. I think I’ll stay weird. I hope you do too. C

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2023 AT 2 PM – 5 PM

The Scuppermonkeys in Leavenworth!

Ryan Patrick Wines

SATURDAY, JANUARY 7, 2023 AT 5 PM – 7 PM

Winter Wine Walk 2023

Icicle Ridge Winery

SATURDAY, JANUARY 7, 2023 AT 9:30 PM

Robbers Roost, Sanatorium Hill and Dustin Hays

Live at Wally’s House of Booze

THURSDAY, JANUARY 12, 2023 AT 7 PM – 8 PM

Red Barn Event: The Many Adventures of the Riding Writer

Wenatchee River Institute at Barn Beach Reserve

FRIDAY, JANUARY 13, 2023 AT 7 PM – 9 PM

Whisky Trail at Stein

Stein

SATURDAY, JANUARY 14, 2023 AT 7 PM

Singers, Songwriters and Storytellers; presented by Mountain Music Productions @ Riverside Playhouse

SATURDAY, JANUARY 14, 2023 AT 11 AM – 1 PM

Sunshine Kids Improv Acting Class

The Sunshine Ranch Wedding and Event Venue

SATURDAY, JANUARY 14, 2023 AT 10 AM – 3 PM

Martin Luther King Jr. Multicultural Fest

Wenatchee Valley Museum & Cultural Center

SATURDAY, JANUARY 14, 2023 AT 2 PM

Winter Piano Festival Concert with Christina Dahl, Gilbert

Kalish and Oksana Ejokina @ Icicle Creek Center for the Arts

FRIDAY, JANUARY 20, 2023 AT 6 PM – 9 PM

Project Pivot Premiere

Numerica Performing Arts Center

FRIDAY, JANUARY 20, 2023 AT 7:30 PM

Winterfest-Manson

Manson Chamber of Commerce

THURSDAY, JANUARY 26, 2023 AT 5 PM – 7:30 PM

Night Sky Planetarium and Snowshoe Stroll

Wenatchee River Institute at Barn Beach Reserve

THURSDAY, JANUARY 26, 2023 AT 6 PM – 9 PM

Iron Horse Pint Night

The TAP ROOM by Iron Horse Brewery - Ellensburg

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2023 AT 8:30 PM – 11:30 PM

Air Supply at Emerald Queen Casino

Emerald Queen Casino - Fife

WHY IS ‘PLEASURE’ MISSING FROM SEXUAL EDUCATION?

Why do we have sex? More specifically, why do you have sex? Is it for pleasure or for procreation?

Statistically, the number of people who have sex for pleasure greatly outweighs that of the people who only take part in sex for the purpose of procreation.

So why do we only teach sexual education as it pertains to making babies (or preventing making babies) when the amount of people having sex for pleasure is so much higher?

Diving deeper, why do sex education courses, even those specifically catering to adults, make little to no mention of masturbation? Which is, in very large part, where most people discovered that their draw to any sort of sexual touch (from themselves or from another person) was the pleasure… It felt good.

Now, while I am not necessarily advocating for pleasure to be included in sex education courses to kids at a high school or middle school level - we do nothing by ignoring the fact that more often than not the reason for seeking out Sex is pleasure - not to mention the fact that before they leave high school, many of those kids were already seeking sexual partners for pleasure, or discovered masturbation for pleasure. There have been many studies that show that our unwillingness to even acknowledge pleasure in sex education, leads to self-esteem issues, emotional damage, feelings of shame, etc., that people are left to overcome as adults.

My sex education — and the sex ed that continues to be taught in schools today, nearly 30 years later — skipped over the wonder, curiosity, and exploration that can be a part of sex. This is especially true for the fear-based, heteronormative lessons taught to girls and young women, who are consistently told there is something inherently wrong, dirty, and shameful about our bodies. Students were separated into two groups, boys and girls. The girls were sent out of the classroom while the boys watched videos on their bodies and were given lessons on things like “how to put a condom on a banana.” Then the girls were brought in, boys sent out, and we were taught about our periods, tampons, cramps, abstinence, and what happens with the body when you do get pregnant.

It’s no wonder people grow into adults who spend years fumbling, clumsily, through bad or awkward sexual encoun-

ters. It’s no wonder we create whole generations of adults that know very little about their bodies, and even less when it comes to sexual pleasure.

Every day I speak to at least one person, who thinks that their experience is unique. They believe that something is inherently wrong, or broken, with them because they don’t enjoy sex. Or they don’t enjoy sex as much as they believe they should/could. Only to then find out that they would never have struggled had they just known a little bit more about their anatomy as it pertains to sexual pleasure, and not just procreation.

One of the best examples of that is the amount of people (specifically those with a vagina) who believe something is broken in them because they can’t, or can rarely, climax from vaginal penetration alone. They were never taught anything about their bodies that would have enlightened them, they see movies reinforce the idea that all you have to do is rip off somebody’s clothes and throw them up against the wall and a few well-placed pumps of vaginal penetration will send them into an exploding orgasm. They read endless articles in magazines like Cosmo about the mythical G-spot and how it’s the one and only key to sexual gratification. And because they don’t share those experiences, they believe they are broken.

The reality is that only 25% of people with a vagina can climax from vaginal stimulation/penetration alone, The other 75% need to incorporate things like clitoral stimulation in order to reach climax. The reality is that the G -pot is no mythical secret spot. It’s just the backside of the clitoral anatomy. Which means in order to stimulate it you would be going through the walls of the vagina to do so. And if you have thicker vaginal walls, extremely common, it may not be enough stimulation for you to reach orgasm.

It’s anatomy. It’s a scientific fact about the human body. And yet just knowing that little bit takes the weight off the shoulders of the person standing there, internally screaming, “what is wrong with me, why am I like this, am I broken?” Nothing was ever wrong with them. Nothing was ever broken. But they were never taught this, and resources to self educate as an adult are few and far between and riddled with misinformation and old wives tales.

Even the subject of consent goes handin-hand with pleasure. Too often, consent is looked at as a checkbox, an obstacle that needs to be overcome before a partner can gain access to sex.

Consent, of course, is mandatory in any sexual experience, and I love that it’s being more widely discussed and taught in sex education courses. However, like sex education in general, it’s often discussed solely focusing on avoiding risks, including sexual assault. This is important, but we also need real and practical talk about consent in all relationships, pleasure, and sex - for safer and more ethical connections. When we move past our tendencies to focus on the mechanics of sexual acts, we set ourselves up to have satisfying sexual and intimate relationships. A partner that is actively asking you what you would like, what would make you feel good, is not only helping to create a better sexual experience for their partner, the way that they are doing it is a form of seeking ongoing, enthusiastic consent.

And yet the topic of sexual pleasure is missing, almost entirely, from any sex education curriculum. Even in courses for adults! I know what’s on the curriculum for middle school and high school level sex education, and I have been a part of and taught adult comprehensive sex education courses. I know it’s in the curriculum for those too. And we could be doing so much better. The subject of what to teach kids, and what age is appropriate for certain topics, is a battle that will rage on for the rest of time. But I see no reason for leaving out the conversation about pleasure when it comes to adult sex education courses.

Comprehensive relationships and sex education must set a sex-positive standard, where wellbeing and enjoyment is an expectation. Beyond the messages themselves, one of the most powerful effects of this kind of education is that it normalizes talking about sex. The benefits of this are obvious: removing barriers to healthy conversation about sex (such as embarrassment or shame), drastically improves people’s capacity to articulate how they feel, or to say what they do or do not want, in a relationship or a sexual event.

Positive sex, wellbeing and pleasure should not be the ‘other’ sex talk, it should be the sex talk.

Moxie Rose: (sex and kink advice/education) from For The Love Of It in Wenatchee, WA.

The information provided in this column is for educational purposes only, and does not substitute for professional medical advice. C

ONE-SENTENCE CRITIQUES: “THE GARDEN OF EARTHLY DELIGHTS”

We posted this image of Hieronymus Bosch’s “The Garden of Earthly Delights” (triptych oil painting on oak panel painted between 1490 and 1510) to social media and asked for viewers to share their one-sentence critiques, opinions, or observations. Here’s some of what we got:

Obvious anti-petroleum propaganda from a Northern Renaissance Neanderthal—I mean, Netherlander...

Evocative, and yet also derivative of Godot. -T.J. Farrell

Too many people. -Lyzz Smith

That person is definitely taking flowers up the bum.

This is like a visual representation of why I started AND why I stopped taking drugs. -Abby Holmes

Where’s Waldo? -Misti Mott

Fleshy yet festive. -Holly Thorpe

This is what happens when white people run things.

I think he was consuming black rye fungus.

Classic study of stickiness. -Sandi Bammer

Your standard amusement park fare but the lines aren’t too long. -Milo Klanke

“One time, at band camp…” -Chloe Ellestad

Convo with Mom #1 by TJ Farrell

My mother could never resist a good cardboard box. She saved them all, from the tiny, fancy boxes that jewelry came in to appliance-sized monsters. You never know when you’ll need a box, and you never know when you’ll need to return something to the store in the original package, according to Mom. She had a two-car garage, but only room for one car, and part of that situation was because she had a wall of boxes, some with the Styrofoam inserts and plastic bags that protected the contents still in them. When I say a wall, picture a cardboard fortification that was twenty feet long, six feet high, and six feet deep. You had to disassemble it to get to the gardening tools and Dad’s tool shelves.

The only box that she used regularly was the one that came with her portable air-conditioner. Every late spring we would unbox the thing and bring it into the house for summer use. Every autumn, after a suitable period of “drying out inside,” it would go back into the big plastic bag, the hose and window adapter would go into a smaller plastic bag, the foam inserts would be positioned top and bottom on the unit, and the whole collection would slither back into the box. The user’s manual was in there too, in case you needed to troubleshoot anything.

The other boxes were kept taped shut, not flattened out for easier storage, because that “kept them clean.” The Jenga-like wall of them started just far enough inside the second garage door to “keep water from reaching them when it rained,” and you could open the car door when you parked in the garage . . . just barely. I never saw water in the garage, but hey, it could happen, right?

When I asked if I could break some of the older ones down, I was told, “No.” When I asked why, I was told, “You never know when you might need one.” When I assured her that, since I lived in another state and was not planning to move anytime soon, I was told, “When you girls were in college, you were always glad when I had a box for you to cart you stuff back and forth.” I was 53 at the time, and unlikely to restart my education.

The boxes were easy enough to ignore most of the time, and they made Mom feel good, so my sister and I never pushed the issue, but then the conversation below occurred over a few days while I was visiting:

Mom: I need to buy some more Boost, and I think I want the low-sugar stuff this time.

Me: I’ll go get it. Where do you buy it?

Mom: Walmart. But don’t go until we have a list of things we need from there.

Me (checking on Amazon): Looks like Amazon has it in three flavors. I could just order it and they’ll deliver it.

Mom: Nooo, I don’t trust that ordering online!

Night by Sidney Lanier - Montgomery, Alabama, April, 1866

Fair is the wedded reign of Night and Day. Each rules a half of earth with different sway, Exchanging kingdoms, East and West, alway.

Like the round pearl that Egypt drunk in wine, The sun half sinks i’ the brimming, rosy brine: The wild Night drinks all up: how her eyes shine!

Now the swift sail of straining life is furled, And through the stillness of my soul is whirled The throbbing of the hearts of half the world.

I hear the cries that follow Birth and Death. I hear huge Pestilence draw his vaporous breath: “Beware, prepare, or else ye die,” he saith.

Me: I’ll order it on my credit card. You won’t have to do anything on your card, and you can pay me back if you want.

Mom: You’re gonna have someone steal your identity if you do that!

Me: Could be. But it hasn’t happened in all the years I’ve been ordering from Amazon. And it’s safer than writing a check at Walmart. You know when you write a check, you’re giving someone your name, address, phone number, bank routing number, bank account number, and a sample of your signature, right? That’s great ID theft info!

Mom: Walmart will be less expensive. It’s $8.44 for a six-pack there, and that’s the best price in town.

Me: Amazon has it for $33.76 for a 24-pack. That’s the same price. Oh, wait, right now they also have a 5% discount on it. So it’s cheaper.

Mom: Yeah, but they charge you shipping!

Me: I have Amazon Prime, so I get free 2-day shipping.

Mom: How much tax do they charge?

Me: It’s a food product. There’s no tax.

Mom: Wellllll . . . Ohhh-Kaaaaaay. Get me a 24-pack of strawberry flavor.

Two days later:

Mom: I think the UPS guy just put something on the porch. Those guys are supposed to ring the doorbell, but they never do! They don’t care if your stuff gets stolen!

Me (lugging in the big box): Just for the record, the only delivery that was ever stolen from you was out of your mailbox across the street.

I open the waaay over-sized shipping box to find the box of Boost is half the size of the outer box, and inside that are four six-packs.

Me: I’ll put these six-packs in your pantry and I’ll break down the boxes and put them in the recycling bin in the garage.

Mom: Hey! Those are nice boxes! Save those!

Me (picturing the wall in the garage): You’re right Mom, it’s too dangerous. We can never order from Amazon again.

I hear a haggard student turn and sigh: I hear men begging Heaven to let them die: And, drowning all, a wild-eyed woman’s cry.

So Night takes toll of Wisdom as of Sin. The student’s and the drunkard’s cheek is thin: But flesh is not the prize we strive to win.

Now airy swarms of fluttering dreams descend On souls, like birds on trees, and have no end. O God, from vulture-dreams my soul defend!

Let fall on Her a rose-leaf rain of dreams, All passionate-sweet, as are the loving beams Of starlight on the glimmering woods and streams.

THE LOVE LANGUAGE OF FOOD

THE FUNNY PAGES COMICS AND NOVELTIES

When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course. Houses can’t jump.

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad an electrician I am.

1) I ran across an interesting story from the UK. Roughly 10 years ago, they did a massive survey to children asking them what they wanted for Christmas from Santa this year. Surprisingly, number 10 on the list was:

A) American football to be played in the UK

B) A new prime minister

C) Access to quality dentistry

D) A father

2) A Governor in South Dakota signed a new bill into law that rocked some boats. The bill particularly prohibits GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES from using this app.

A) TikTok

B) Lensa

C) Christian Mingle

D) Grindr

3) This animal is often referred to as THE SHARK OF THE JUNGLE in Africa for a very specific reason. Oh, they also are responsible for nearly 500 human deaths a year. What animal is referred to as the SHARK OF THE JUNGLE? (sharks kill less than 100 people a year).

A) Hippos

B) Elephants

C) Leopards

D) Rhinos

4) It’s been studied that men who do this at least two times a week are 45% less likely to have a heart attack than men who do this less than two times a week.

A) Drink red wine

B) Have sex

C) Floss their teeth

D) Change their bedsheets

We made it through the holidays and into the new year and we’re taking ourselves way less seriously. Here are some Seussical inspired scopes for you.

If your sign was a Dr. Seuss book:

Aries - One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Fuck This.

Taurus - There’s a Sandwich in My Hand, Bitch!

Gemini - Mr. Brown Can Have an Existential Crisis, Can You??

Cancer - Oh, The Panic You’ll Know!

Leo - Today you are irrelevant, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is more irrelevant than you.

Virgo - You give so much effort, but why oh why? Your life is meaningless, why even try?

Libra - Green Avoidance And Blame.

Scorpio - Everything the day creates, I am bound to surely hates.

Sagittarius - Fox in Crocs (and other terrible footwear that you somehow manage to pull off).

Capricorn - How The Grinch Stole Christmas (then complained about all this Christmas shit in his house).

Aquarius - Think up and think down and think guilt and think shame. Oh the thinks you could think up if only you weren’t lame.

Pisces - From there to here, and here to there, depressing things are everywhere. (Just keep ignoring them.)

THE PEKING ACROBATS

Using time-honored Chinese music with high-tech special effects and awe-inspiring acrobatic feats, the Peking Acrobats create an exuberant entertainment event with the festive pageantry of a Chinese Carnival.

TWINCUSSION

Twin brothers and rising Taiwanese stars create a technically superb and high-energy show that connects percussive music from East Asia to the West. Masters of everything from the marimba to Chinese opera gongs.

TITO PUENTE JR.

He has made a name for himself as one of the most exciting Latin musicians touring today. Tito Puente, Jr. & his Ensemble brings exhilarating Latin rhythms that will get your feet moving.

STEP AFRIKA!

Step Afrika! blends percussive dance styles practiced by historically African American fraternities and sororities; traditional West and Southern African dances; and an array of contemporary dance and art forms into a cohesive, compelling artistic experience.