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The Brick Magazine - January 2021

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BRICK

THE

JANUARY 2021

MAGAZINE

BRING ON THE BUBBLY REIMAGINE YOUR HOME OFFICE

PLUS! TOP 7 HEALTH BENEFITS OF BONE BROTH

NancyYoung

BEING COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN

ANN ARBOR


S P IN N IN G T H READS I NTO

The fabric of our old lives is unraveling. Yet, somewhere deep inside, hope whispers of new possibilities. We’re being called upon to weave a new normal out of our old threads. Enjoy a Complimentary Coaching Session as a gift to yourself!

Together, we can spin those threads into gold. Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC Life Empowerment Coaching, LLC 1785 W. Stadium, Suite 104 | Ann Arbor, Mi 48103 | 734.717.7532

www.LifeEmpowermentCoaching.com


734.994.5111 LEWISJEWELERS.COM


THE

BRICK MAGAZINE

JANUARY 2021

Publisher • Sarah Whitsett

Managing Editor • Tanja MacKenzie

Art Director • Jennifer Knutson

Copy Editor • Angelina Bielby

Marketing Director • Steve DeBruler

Photographer • GE Anderson

Contributors >>

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Liz Crowe Marilyn Pellini

Angelina Bielby Tiffany Birch Monica Brancheau

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Lisa Profera Maria Sylvester Amber Trail

Contact Us >>

The Brick Magazine, LLC 734.221.5767 Email: office@thebrickmagazine.com Visit us on the web at thebrickmagazine.com

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Advertising Inquires >> email office@thebrickmagazine.com or call 734.221.5767

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6

Letter from the Publisher

8

Bring on the Bubbly

12

Being Comfortable in Your Own Skin with Nancy Young

18

Find Us ... >>

Visit us on the web at thebrickmagazine.com to view our online digital edition, locations on where to find us, or subscribe to have THE BRICK MAGAZINE delivered directly to your home.

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CONTENTS

The Brick Magazine >>

THE BRICK MAGAZINE makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement; however, we cannot make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of The Brick Magazine, LLC

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Up-Level Your Business Through Your Employees

20

Reimagine Your Home Office

22

Airplane Neighbors I Don’t Miss

24

Top 7 Health Benefits of Bone Broth

26

Leveling the Playing Field

28

Crossing the Threshold: A Magical Midlife Moment


PORTRAITS HEADSHOTS WEDDINGS Book yours by January 31 using code word ‘Brick’ for a 25% discount

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LETTER FROM THE PUBLISHER Dear Readers, One foot in front of the other is how we get anywhere. But where do we go from here? So often, we concentrate on what we don’t want. We complain, we lament — we’re busy being angry. And rightly so; there’s so much we need to change. But how should we go about creating this change? One thing I’ve started doing more of lately is reframing my questions. Instead of asking what we want less of, we should ask what we want more of. Focusing on what we do want — justice, equality, peace, and kindness — can be the first step towards a community we enjoy creating together. In the fourth year of The Brick Magazine, we are ever grateful for the individuals who come together on these pages to represent Ann Arbor and our surrounding areas. This month, our theme is “Next Level.” I find myself asking, what would it take to transform our neighborhoods, family relationships, and ourselves into our next versions? May we put our energy towards that which we want to see in the world, with our actions and words, so that this next year is more stunning than the last. Truly,

Sarah Whitsett, Publisher thebrickmagazine.com

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Welcome to Booze 101 with

Liz

Bring on the Bubbly by Liz Crowe

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O

h, hello there. Sorry, I wasn’t ignoring you. I’ve been busy burning all my calendars that have the year “2020” on them, hang on a sec... Okay, here I am! And do I have some fun info for you on this, the first day of the first month of a brand new year! We all know about the tradition of serving and imbibing the bubbly for celebrations, like the one that helped us turn the page away from 2020 and launch ourselves headlong into 2021. But what do you know about that bubbly, hmmm? Never fear. Liz is here. And what follows is a quick, yet super useful guide to World of Sparkling Wines. First off, as you may or may not know, the word “Champagne” has meaning. It’s a wine that is made from pinot noir, chardonnay, or pinot meunier grapes (mostly) and has undergone the Méthode Champenoise (being fermented in the bottle) to obtain that distinct bubblyness. It’s NOT automatically called “Champagne” unless that process occurred in the Champagne region of France. The best way to remember it is thusly: “All Champagnes are sparkling wines, but not all sparkling wines are Champagne.” Easy, non? Bottom line is, as with many wine styles, there’s a wide variation in style, sweetness, and taste. But by golly, if it’s not made in Champagne, France, don’t go calling it Champagne. I realize this seeming-snobbishness goes against all the inclusionary booze imbibing that I encourage in this column, but I don’t make the rules on this one — I’m just here to explain it. Basically, your bubbly wine options include Champagne (only made in the Champagne region of France), but also these Big Dogs: Prosecco (Italy), Cava (Spain), Sekt (Germany/Austria), and sparkling wine (America). There are other types of sparkling wines made in France, such as Crémant de Loire, Burgundy, Alsace, or Jura. These are essentially Champagnes, but not made in Champagne. The word crémant means “creamy,” which is how really great Champagne should feel in your mouth. It’s made using the same secondary fermentation-in-the-bottle method, and in many cases the same grapes as the ones grown in Champagne. But again, it’s not made in Champagne, so…you know the rest.

Other Italian sparkling wines include Lambrusco — a red bubbly wine that was kind of the joke of the wine world for a while, but is apparently making a hipster-style comeback (sort of like Hamm’s Beer and Old Grand-Dad bourbon). Franciacorta is another Italian bubbly that’s made near Milan in the style of Champagne, but it tends to be more expensive. There are some even sweeter options from Italy like Moscato d’Asti and Brachetto d'Acqui, made from Moscato and Brachetto grapes respectively, that are usually served as an aperitif or for dessert. To recap: If it’s Champagne, by definition we now know that it’s French; i.e., don’t call it “French Champagne.” That’s the equivalent of calling something American spray cheese, or British fish and chips, or Canadian poutine (yes, I know it’s from Quebec). As with most alcohols, there’s a bit of a “craft” tradition in Champagnes. “Grower Champagne” refers to sparkling wine that is not only made in Champagne, but is also specifically crafted by families who are cultivating the grapes on their own land — a sort of “farm-to-bottle,” as it were. It’s made in much smaller volumes than what you’d find at large producers such as Moët et Chandon and Krug, and it showcases the terroir of the farm — which is craft booze fancy talk for “it tastes like the makeup of the ground it was grown in,” which can vary widely from year to year, giving grower Champagne a lot of leeway in the sort of tastes that result. No, it doesn’t taste like dirt; it takes on the various characteristics of the soil, the climate, and the topography of the area where it was grown.

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Grower Champagne is best thought about this way: while Anheuser-Busch makes batch after batch (after batch after batch) of the same beer over and over (and over) again, which results in the Bud-heavy you open today tasting exactly like the one you expect to open six months (or years) from now, craft beer is allowed to vary from batch to batch in flavor and experience. Same deal with grower Champagne. As you might expect, it can sometimes — but not always — be pricier, but if you’re bored with the same old Veuve or Dom experience and you’re super into the bubbly, then check with your local wine shop expert to see if they can locate something from Bérêche et Fils, or Chartogne-Taillet, or Champagne Dhondt-Grellet for your next celebration. “Okay Liz,” you say. “Now tell me how to read a sparkling wine label, already!” Here’s the thing. I don’t have the column inches available to me to explain all the details of French wine labels. But there’s this one element that’s kind of cool, and I want to pass it on to you so you can show off when you’re in the Champagne aisle this year. There are two uppercase letters on a label of Champagne at the bottom edge, usually followed by some numbers that are unimportant to you, the drinker. The letters, however, bear understanding. The letters “R-M” (Récoltant Manipulant) mean you’re holding a bottle of grower champagne. The letters “N-M” (Négociant Manipulant)

mean the producer of the bottle in your hand bought the grapes instead of growing them. “C-M” (Coopérative Manipulant) is, as you might expect, from a co-op. There are apparently more cooperatively-affiliated vineyards in Champagne than in any other French wine region. Finally, if you see “M-A” (Marque d’achetuer), you’re holding a private label or a “BOB” (Buyer’s Own Brand), which represents a big chunk of Champagne production. I could go on for days about French wine labels, but I won’t for obvious reasons. The other, more important thing to know about a sparkling wine label is understanding how sweet or dry it is. Extra brut is the driest of all the styles — brut means “unsweetened.” The producer of an extra brut sparkling wine has allowed the yeast to eat every last drop of sugar produced by the grapes. A brut option is slightly less dry than extra, so the winemaker stopped the fermentation just before the last of the sugar was consumed. The next level is called, confusingly, “extra dry,” which is in reality sweeter than both brut and extra brut. Most Proseccos are extra dry. A “demi-sec” is a sweet sparkling option best accompanied by dessert or something else that can match its sweetness. For the record, go with a mid-level dry (brut) version for your mimosas. Prosecco is also an excellent mixing option. Finally, let’s talk about how to drink that bubbly concoction. The ideal temperature to serve it is 47-50 degrees Fahrenheit. Any colder and it will freeze your taste buds; any

Photo by taryn-elliott

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Jessica Ping

Financial Professional Panorama Institutional Solutions Phone: (734) 358.5757 Email: Jessica.Ping@equitable.com

The right steps today can lead to a better tomorrow. In order to enjoy long-term financial freedom, you need a holistic strategy that enables you to make tax-deductible contributions and accumulate taxdeferred assets.

Let me show you how our institutional platform could fit as part of your overall strategy.

Jessica Ping Hausman offers securities through Equitable Advisors, LLC (NY, NY 212-314-4600), member FINRA, SIPC (Equitable Financial Advisors in Michigan) and offers annuity and insurance products through Equitable Network, LLC. Equitable Advisors and Equitable Network and their affiliates and associates do not provide tax, accounting or legal advice or services. Panorama Institutional Solutions is not owned or operated by Equitable Advisors or Equitable Network. AGE-157779(12/20)(exp.12/22)

warmer and it’s gross (which is a technical term indicating that the wine is “too heavy” and “less bright”). Don’t chill the bottle in the freezer. Make a plan to purchase it in advance so you can let it rest in the bottom area of your fridge for at least four hours before you serve it. Hit me up off-line for a trick that involves using the freezer for about an hour (but that I’m afraid to state here, lest I be mocked). Use a cloth napkin or towel to make sure the cork does not fly directly at someone. That sucker shoots out of there under serious pressure and will give the nearest person a black eye. It’s less an art form than something that takes a bit of practice, but shaking the bottle beforehand is ill-advised. You get the best results bubbles-wise if you then pour it directly down the inside of non-chilled glassware, not unlike pouring a beer to allow for proper head formation. But about that glassware. While slim to skinny flutes are all the rage, you’ll have a better tasting experience if you use something closer to a white wine glass, but not something

as big and bowl-like as a red wine glass. The wider brim will allow the wine to breathe a bit and will release more flavors as you drink it, but a smaller bowl keeps the bubbles fresh. But those are not rules, per se, merely guidelines. You know me. If you want to toss back that hundred-dollar Dom right from the mouth of the bottle, or drink it out of a coffee mug while soaking in the hot tub, I say, you do you. Bottoms up!

Amazon best-selling author, mom of three, brewery founder, craft beer marketing consultant, and avid sports fan, Liz Crowe is a Kentucky native and graduate of the University of Louisville currently living in Ann Arbor. She has decades of experience in sales, public relations, and fundraising, plus an eightyear stint as a three-continent, ex-pat trailing spouse, all of which provide ongoing idea fodder for novels and other projects. www.facebook.com/lizcroweauthor (fan page) www.twitter.com/ETLizCrowe

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Photo by GE Anderson

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Being Comfortable in Your Own Skin with Nancy Young by Marji Wisniewski

This month, we sat down with Nancy Young, the founder of dbts Skin Bar in Ann Arbor. When Nancy was 19, she worked as a beauty specialist at Victoria’s Secret. She noticed that many shoppers coming into the store were asking how to “cover up” their blemishes, blotches, pitting, and scars. After a while she thought, “What if we stopped covering up our imperfections and focused on healing our skin?” This is when the idea for dbts Skin Bar was born, and she’s been educating others on how to improve the look and health of their skin ever since. During our time together, Nancy shared her wellness advice and entrepreneurial spirit, along with tips on curing that pesky “maskne.” The biggest takeaway for me was that knowledge is not only powerful, but beautiful.

HOW I GOT STARTED I always knew that I wanted to help people. I originally planned to pursue a career in a more conventional medical field. I earned my bachelor’s degree in psychology with a double minor in child psychology and sociology. But in my last year of school, I began to feel that becoming a psychologist was not the path meant for me. I yearned to be an innovator; I felt a calling to help people become healthier, specifically through skin care. In my last year of study at Eastern Michigan, I met my husband, Brian, at a gym. We had this instant chemistry and energy between us. He was working on a business plan to create his own personal training facility. That first day we met, we ended up talking about our ambitions for so long that I lost track of time and got a parking ticket (in true Ann Arbor fashion)! Fueled by each other’s passions to succeed, we both started working towards our goals. Brian suggested that I get my aesthetician’s license. So, while finishing up my last year at college, I also attended the Aveda Institute and earned my license in aesthetics.

I wrote my first business plan and used the $2,000 I had saved up from my research job at the University of Michigan, and my dream took flight. Brian offered me a small storage room in the 939 square-foot studio he was using as a personal trainer. I bought a table and some products, and I was ready to start working with my first clients. I remember those days with pride as I pounded the pavement, going door-to-door handing out flyers and posting ads on Craigslist. I did mobile spa parties for the sororities in the area. It was a really ground-floor approach to building my brand.

WHERE I AM TODAY My spa services continued to grow over the years. In 2011, I developed dbts Skin Bar, which was originally created as an educational website that detailed different skin types and how to treat various skin diseases. The website was a tool for educating my clients on how to maintain and achieve optimal skin health. Education has always been the driving force behind my career choice

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FAST FIVE: 5 Fun Facts about Nancy

1. I listen to a LOT of house music. I taught indoor cycling classes at my husband's facility for eight years, and the playlists I created were DJ quality, if I may say so myself. 2. Before kids, I used to do fitness competitions. I competed in the Arnold Classic twice. I actually found out I was pregnant with my first daughter because my coach thought I was cheating on my diet due to my bloating stomach, but I was really ten weeks pregnant. 3. I love both books and movies. I actually just finished Trevor Noah's book. I watch a movie almost every night; I'm kind of a "meat head." I love pretty much all Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, as well as post-apocalyptic and sci-fi.

Photo by GE Anderson

as an aesthetician. I wanted to show people that skin health isn't a luxury, but a necessity. In 2014, when I was pregnant with my first daughter, I had the thought: “What do I have to hand down to her? To give her?” I was an aesthetician. I didn’t have my own product line, and I was paying a hefty monthly rate in Ann Arbor commercial rent. My daughter’s birth set into motion a mission to take more ownership in my business. In the early days, I was seeling and promoting skin care products that

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were not created by me. When I decided to create my own products, I strove for result-oriented and corrective skin care that not only treats and nourishes the skin, but also uses ingredients that are noncomedogenic and free of harmful synthetics, including fragrances, dyes, and parabens. Historically, skin care has been a predominately White industry. I wanted to create products that were inclusive to all skin types; I wanted Black women to see themselves represented in the beauty world.

4. When I can, I love going to the beach! The most beautiful place I've ever traveled to so far is Tahiti. My husband and I hiked in an inactive volcano; we made it to the top, which was 11,000 feet! 5. I believe that it's healthy to love fashion AND wear sweats. My current favorite fashion icon is Aurora James, the creative director of Brother Vellies, and my go-to for chic sweats is Joah Brown.

Photo by GE Anderson


While trueby that many products are supposed to Davidit’s Lewis Emily Rose Imagery be for all skin types, there are some ingredients that people with melanated skin should avoid. For instance, some skin care products contain hydroquinone, which is a bleaching agent. I would not recommend this for any person with melanated skin. With that in mind, I do get a lot of Black clients who come to me because they hear that I know how to care for melanated skin types. I have an overall diverse clientele that includes men, women, and transgender/genderqueer folks, all of whom have different types of skin and different skin health challenges. I like to say that my clients range from porcelain to onyx. Then along came Macy’s, which was looking to expand their natural skin care offerings; it turned out that my products fit the bill. I flew to New York, five months pregnant with my second daughter, to attend their workshop and pitch to their buyers. Working with them has been a great start for me in the retail merchandise world. Sometimes large corporations can swallow a small business whole, and that worried me at first. However,

starting off slow and building up from there has been a strategy that works well for me; I’d recommend the same to other small business owners when scaling up their businesses. Plus, working with Macy’s means that I can still be hands-on and keep the close client relationships that I love, while offering my products to a wider consumer base. By 2018, I purchased the building that my spa now operates in. I created an LLC, House of Kali, in my oldest daughter’s name. Today I have a global skin care line, a partnership with Macy’s, an e-commerce website, and no plans to slow down anytime soon. I’m not afraid to say that I’m proud of myself for this. I believe that many women don’t share our successes enough with others. I started with an idea and $2,000 and created something tangible to pass on to the next generation.

Protect Your Skin: Water, Cleanse, Moisturize DRINK WATER – Make it a goal to drink about one gallon of water a day. Water helps lubricate the skin and filter out toxins, and aids in the treatment of skin conditions such as congestion and hyperpigmentation. CLEANSE – Pick a cleanser that is relevant to your skin’s needs. Products that you used as a teen might not work as well for your skin as you age. MOISTURIZE (with SPF!) – Choose a moisturizer with an SPF, even in the winter. Our skin is exposed to damaging UVA rays year-round.

Photo by GE Anderson

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THE GENERATIONAL WEALTH GAP Generational wealth represents the assets that are passed down from one generation to the next. What many people don’t know or realize is that there’s a huge disparity between Blacks and Whites when it comes to generational wealth. In 2016, The Washington Post pointed out that in 2016, the net worth of 11.5 typical Black households in the US was equivalent to that of one typical White household (see the article “The Black-White Economic Divide Is as Wide as It Was in 1968” from this past June). This net worth includes equity in property, stocks, funds, etc. — the taxable wealth that you could pass on to your offspring. This disparity has not changed much over the years, and has actually been getting worse as our society grows. In 1968, the median Black household wealth as a percentage of median White household wealth was 9.4%. In 2016 (the most recent year it was recorded), that percent dropped to 8.7%. As The Washington Post states, “More wealth makes for a more comfortable, safer living. And, more importantly, it is passed on to the next generation. Their parents’ wealth

gives many white children a boost at birth, an advantage many of their black peers lack.” I will be the first in my family tree to have something tangible to pass down to the next generation. Everything I’ve done in my career has been a step to pass my wealth down to my three daughters. When I retire, I can give what I’ve built to my girls. I have a book of business, a revenue stream, stocks, and I own my building and my home. They will have a leg up on building their portfolios. It’s important to talk about these disparities in wealth, because as we grow as a society, the gap continues to grow. I want people to educate themselves about this and be alarmed by the statistics. Blacks face inequities in loan rates, weekly pay, and many other countless ways that effect the wealth gap. In 2020, the pandemic increased and exposed these gaps even further. Blackowned businesses closed at more than double the rate of White-owned businesses. Women of color have been hit especially hard by the loss of wages. If we don’t know these facts, we can’t do anything to change it. I encourage you to seek out this information and learn about the current state of our country’s people. Blacks have been talking about this for decades, but now is the time for the conversation to be shifted. White people need to talk to other White people and call each other out if they see something that isn’t right. I hope people actively participate in the uncomfortable moments along the road to progress, and peel back the layers of history; I hope that people start to scrutinize the intricacies in our country’s systems that were put into place to keep Black people down. I don’t wish for White people to blame themselves for the past. Instead, take a step forward with knowledge and good intentions to move in a better direction. I believe that when all Americans thrive in the economy, we all win. We live in this country together, and it’s time to work together to move forward.

HOW CAN WE MOVE FORWARD AS A SOCIETY?

Photo by GE Anderson

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I decided that I can help society further by creating a coaching company called Mimic. By starting my own business, I can share my knowledge and teach others how to build from the ground up — basically “mimicking” what I have done. Part of the online course will be geared toward Black people to help them think about the long-term future of their business and teach them how to create their own generational wealth portfolio.


How to Reduce Maskne! What is “maskne?” “Maskne” is the name for acne that forms around your nose, mouth, and chin from wearing a face mask for long periods of time. What causes maskne? The blemishes caused by wearing a mask are brought on by the friction of the mask against the face. Additionally, sweat and heat inside the mask form bacteria on the skin. The area that the mask covers is a hormonal zone, therefore there are naturally larger pores in this area that are prone to getting congested. What do you recommend? Take mask breaks if you can. During each break, take a small alcohol wipe and wipe the edge of your mask. I recommend applying our Azelaic & Sulphur Clarifying Mist to your skin before you put your mask back on. The mist removes the dirt and oil build-up in that area. The key to reducing maskne is to keep the area as clean and dry as possible.

The first class will launch February 1st and will run for four weeks, with a bonus fifth week session of personal oneon-one meetings with me. Updates on this course will be available on my Mimic Instagram page (@mimic_brand_ builder_app). I believe in working hard to move up in my career and life, but also in turning around and pulling up the person behind me.

RAISING OUR BLACK GIRLS TODAY Recently, we’ve had to have conversations with our fiveyear-old daughter about the color of her skin. Kids don’t understand why someone wouldn’t like them because of their dark skin. We focus on powerful mantras in our house for our three girls that we repeat almost daily. We say, “As a black girl, you are strong, you are beautiful; we are beautiful brown sun people.” My husband’s family has a diverse background. This makes it difficult for some relatives to understand how the world is different for our girls. We’ve often had to remind family members at birthdays and holidays to buy the Black and Brown dolls. While they may think it’s overboard to have so many Black baby dolls and books with Black children in them, it’s important to us that the girls see themselves

represented. As soon as they leave our house, everything they see will be white. Most of the baby dolls at preschool and the characters in their favorite cartoons are White. I want them to see the beauty in being Black. So, at home we try to bombard them with that. We teach them that the features of brown skin and curly hair are not only normal, but beautiful. My husband and I also value traveling with the girls to Brown places. The last trip we took before the pandemic was to Brazil. It was wonderful to see different skin colors represented everywhere we went. We try to venture out of our Michigan bubble to teach them that the world is wide and filled with all shades of people that are thriving.

INNOVATING AND EDUCATING Speaking of thriving, a lot of people have said that I’m “lucky” to have survived the rough year of 2020. But honestly, I don’t believe it was luck at all. Founding my business in 2007, during the recession, taught me to find creative and cost-effective ways to keep growing. So, during the stay-at-home order earlier in 2020, I pivoted to mostly online sales. I incentivized my clients through free shipping and quick turnaround times. I also started doing “Zoomcials” — short for Zoom Facials. I ship a multi-step process facial in a box to a client, and we walk through each step together over Zoom. It’s been a fun way to “see” people when we can’t be together in-person. Now that it’s January, I’m looking forward to a bright 2021 for my family and my business. I’m choosing to focus on growth and continuous learning. My goal at dbts Skin Bar is for my clients to leave feeling educated, healed, and refreshed. As you start the new year, I encourage you to be an active participant in your own skin and body health journeys. Trust me, it’s a journey you won’t regret.

With a passion for marketing that started as a young girl, Marji Wisniewski created her own marketing and communications organization in 2017. As owner of Blue Zebra Marketing Solutions, she helps local and regional businesses and non-profits tell their story through branding, graphic design, content creation, and PR, focusing on customized solutions for each client that are more unique than a zebra’s stripes. A Michigan native, Marji received her bachelor's from Western Michigan University and master’s from Wayne State University. When not working you can find her gardening, doing Pilates, listening to podcasts, and spending time with her family and two dogs.

January 2021 | 17


Up-Level Your Business Through Your Employees

W

by Amber Trail

hat can you do to start the new year off right as a business owner? I have a suggestion: Bring your business to the next level through your people. Yes, your people. As a small employer, I understand the need for rewarding and respecting your employees to grow your business. Before this, I worked in the corporate world, where working the daily grind can be unforgiving, particularly for the employees.

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I know as an employer and as a business owner that you’ve already got a lot on your plate. But trust me when I say that this year is the year that you should spend a lot of time focusing on what you can do better as an employer. If your employees love what they do and love where they work, they will be the best promotion of your business. Trust is an important part of every relationship — yes, that goes for coworkers and employees too! As a leader, it’s


crucial to set the tone of trust in the workplace. Trust is a two-way street that helps build productivity, morale, and loyalty, if you do it right. We’ve done our research to help our clients focus on upleveling their businesses. Our findings concluded that you do in fact need to devote more time and energy to your people — the ones that make your business run effectively and efficiently. We surveyed 200 employees and asked what they wanted to see more of in the workplace, and here’s what they had to say:

Be Dependable and Available When your employees need you, you better be there. Being available requires you to make time to build that sense of community with your employees. It’s also important to ask them for feedback and show that you’re readily available to improve yourself and your team.

Be Honest and Supportive You need to approach your employees as a steward who’s ready to help them grow into the best version of themselves. It’s important to be transparent and share any relevant information with your employees from up the chain. It’s more encouraging when a manager openly talks to and supports employees during a difficult time or situation. This requires you to really develop your listening skills as a manager and empathize with your team. Create that workplace where all people matter and all are welcome.

Connect and Cooperate You must make the time to get to know your staff and what they need to perform at their best. Take the time to ask them questions about their tasks and if they need your assistance with anything. Also, make a point of connecting with them beyond the office, as your workers are human beings and not just numbers. Along with all of the right things to do, there are some behaviors to avoid as well. Here’s a list from the same employees when asked what they don’t want to see in the workplace:

Do Not Micromanage Ask yourself: Do you like being micromanaged? Chances are, most likely not. Micromanaging will lead to a massive

breakdown of any trust that was once there. If you want to show your employees that you trust them, you shouldn’t be breathing down their neck regarding every task. Give your employees a sense of autonomy in the workplace, and allow them to have that space to complete their tasks to the best of their ability without your opinion every step of the way.

Do Not Command As an effective manager, you should encourage and not command. The old style of command leadership is no longer tolerated, and your employees will be gone fast if you utilize this tactic. There’s no need to control or command your staff if you trust them to do the work. Watch your tone when speaking to your employees and take care to develop, not demand.

Do Not Call Out The goal is to grow your employees and your business. The only thing you do when you “call someone out” in a meeting or in front of other employees is rip them right out of the ground. It’s truly embarrassing and can make someone feel resentful towards you. Just like that, all trust is now gone as your employee feels defeated and disrespected. Don’t worry — it’s not too late to build trust with your employees! You have to start implementing these changes now, if you haven’t already. The goal is to create a workplace culture built on a trust that engages your employees by being a dependable, honest, and cooperative leader. Make this the year your workplace reaches the next level! Amber Trail, MBA, SHRM-CP is the founder and consultant for her human resources consulting company, The HR Trail, LLC. With over a decade of HR experience and a master’s degree in Business Administration, Amber brings her passion and knowledge of human resources to small businesses nationwide. She realized that not all businesses need nor can they afford a full-time HR professional, and that's why she decided to create The HR Trail to provide a variety of human resource consulting services such as recruitment, coaching, company handbook development, event planning, and more. Her motto is "creativity + passion = purpose," and she thrives on successfully helping small businesses accomplish their human resources needs! Amber is an international best-selling author and on the Brainz 500 Global list. www.thehrtrail.com www.facebook.com/thehrtrail Instagram: @thehrtrail

January 2021 | 19


Photo by Gian Paolo Aliatis

Reimagine Your Home Office by Tiffany Edison

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hen it comes to the home office, the name of the game is function. But why not take it to the next level and actually make it fun? You can, in fact, furnish your home office affordably with sleek new furnishings that are a direct extension of your personal style. It’s safe to say that productivity increases in

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environments deemed attractive, making the home office the most relevant space needing a makeover in your home. Like the word pivot is the current buzzword in the workplace, convert just might be the trending word of home office design right now. Whether you’re just now accepting the real-world challenge of the remote work environment or


have always worked from home matters not. Let’s focus on how we can create a home office that excites us and yields dividends that pay off personally and professionally. Aesthetically speaking, the color of our workspace can dramatically impact our overall mood and comfort level. I typically recommend keeping the majority of the workspace as neutral as possible (think white or cream) and then consider stepping out of the box with an accent wall in your favorite color. This can lift your spirits and allow for the personalization many crave when working in the home environment. I would also encourage the use of wallcovering, especially with a more creative application, such as on the ceiling or on the back of a bookcase to lend a layer of texture that can be unexpected in a rather commonplace environment. Bookcases can offer an attractive area for manuals and reference books needed on a moment’s notice, and ideally have storage below for office supplies that can be unsightly and distracting. Add containers or baskets to hold miscellaneous items that you’ll need to have on hand. Selecting the correct lighting for the office environment is also critical. Lighting should be layered, with the foundation being solid task lighting. I find that recessed can lighting does the trick. It’s sleek and allows for an ample amount of light to be dispersed throughout the space. Now for the fun part of lighting! Decorative lighting, whether in the form of a fanciful chandelier or traditional desk lamp, allows for one’s personality to shine through. Decorative lighting also makes the office environment less sterile and more inviting. The Mayo Clinic lays out a how-to guide for recommended office ergonomics, summarizing everything from proper chair height, adequate equipment spacing, and good desk posture. All of these things can keep workers happy and productive. One of the first things to consider is selecting the correct chair that fits your frame. I’m personally a big fan of Herman Miller’s Aeron chair, which can be purchased online or (better yet) from your local showroom here in Ann Arbor, Three Chairs. When choosing a chair, it’s best to select one that supports spinal curves and is height-adjustable. Your feet should always be able to rest flat on the floor. Armrests should also be adjustable and be positioned so that arms may rest gently on them, allowing the shoulders to be in a more relaxed position. Desks should be considered not only by taste, but functionality. Now we’ve entered the era of ergonomic desk options, such as vertical (or standing) desks and sitstand desks, which can be raised and lowered. Regardless

Photo by Twin Shoot Photography

of the desk and chair option one chooses, Professor Alan Hedge of Cornell University recommends that the ideal desk-work routine go something like this: “About every 20 minutes, take a short break where you stand up [and] stretch out a little bit, maybe for a moment or two.” Ergonomically, it’s also recommended that items that are key to daily work operations be kept in close proximity to the body to minimize reaching. Personally, I recommend investing a small amount into desk accessories that match and offer a pop of color or unexpected pattern. Who says a stapler and tape dispenser can’t be fun? Incorporating practical elements into a home office is paramount, and yet not negating the desire to create an aesthetically pleasing space is also key. It can and should be a pleasure to enter your workspace, eager to perform the work ahead. The sky is truly the limit when creating your ideal home office. Tiffany Edison has been an interior designer since 2002, and specializes in both residential and commercial projects. She holds a Master of Social Work degree (ACSW) and utilizes interpersonal relationship skills on a daily basis with her client base, largely comprised of Ann Arbor and Metro Detroit residents. She enjoys residing in the city and the comforts of home. When she’s not fully immersed in client projects, you can find her on the golf course, a favorite pastime. www.birchdesignassociates.com Instagram: @birchdesignassociates

January 2021 | 21


Airplane Neighbors I Don’t Miss

Monica Brancheau

Photo by Florian VanDuyn

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h yes, we reminisce about the days when we could just jump on a plane and travel to anywhere in the world. It’s definitely a challenge to be restricted from visiting places we would love to explore. Although travel within our country is allowed, it comes with its own set of challenges because of COVID. For

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those of you who are having wanderlust for airline travel, read this as a reminder that it wasn’t ALL wonderful. Sitting in a tight space with complete strangers for several hours can give you a glimpse of their true persona. Let’s talk about some of these people you might meet on an airplane...


The Slammer These are the people who slam their bodies against the back of their chair over and over again throughout the entire flight. It’s almost like they think that by doing this exercise, they’re going to actually create more space for themselves. Maybe they’re trying to do some modified crunches to pass time on the plane. If you’re sitting behind a slammer, your drink will inevitably end up spilled all over you. I also wouldn’t recommend writing any letters on your tray, as your handwriting will likely look like a first grader’s. Even if you dig your knees into a Slammer’s seat, they often retaliate with more slamming, so I don’t recommend it.

The Elbow-Jockyer The second these people sit down, they lay claim to BOTH armrests for their elbows. Their elbows don’t move for the entire flight for fear that they may lose a centimeter of space. These travelers are almost statue-like, with a very rigid posture that doesn’t move. They don’t grab things out of a bag, go to the bathroom, or read a book lest they lose their coveted elbow room. Don’t mess with an ElbowJockyer, as you’ll likely lose the elbow competition.

The Insect Catcher They’re probably wearing a neck pillow when they board the plane, and fall asleep before take-off. Eventually their mouth falls open, and you can listen to the sounds of their snoring or heavy breathing (thanks to masks right now, this would be a non-issue). The silver-medal moment of sitting next to an Insect Catcher is if they dream that they’re falling and their entire body convulses right next to yours, giving you a momentary heart attack. The goldmedal moment is really the epitome of the insect catcher: the moment when a complete stranger’s head ends up on your shoulder. What do you do in this situation? Make a very loud sound (resorting to clapping or a loud laugh is appropriate) to wake them from their snoring and get their body off of yours.

The La-Z-Boy People are still boarding the plane and settling in, and this person has already reclined the seat as far back as it can go. You can now see the top of their head and give them a shoulder rub. Of course, the flight attendants will tell

them they need to move their seat upright for take-off. But you know that the moment take-off is finished, the person in front of you is immediately back in your lap. The worst La-Z-Boys are the ones who vacillate from upright to reclining every ten minutes. Every time you think you have a nice little set-up on your tray or lap, it all comes crashing down with the seven inches of space you’re now left with. The only possible way of “communicating” that this isn’t working is to incessantly release your tray over and over again, but that tactic usually doesn’t work.

The Punt-kickers Listen, I love kids, but I’m not too much of a fan of sitting in front of them on a plane — particularly if the parents seem to be oblivious. Kids honestly think that the tray in front of them is a ball for them to kick. Some parents quickly solve this situation, but others do not. That’s when I have to resort to directing the Evil Eye at the child in the hopes that it’ll scare them enough to stop kicking my seat.

The Pepe Le Pew Pungent smells on a plane can really make a plane ride quite miserable (particularly if the odor is coming from someone’s feet — gross!). Why would anyone think that taking your shoes and/or socks off on a plane is a good idea? Would you take your shoes/socks off at a movie theater oron a bus? When you happen to be sitting next to someone who sees no problem with exposing their stinky feet to an entire plane of people, you should buy yourself a drink, because it’s going to be a long ride. Although the type of travel we’re accustomed too is currently on pause, let this be a reminder that at least when you’re watching Netflix on your couch, you can do it in peace and quiet, surrounded by nice smells, a chair that doesn’t move, and non-spilling drinks. Monica Brancheau is a mom of four who has had multiple careers. She’s a Michigan native and graduate of the University of Michigan who then never left Ann Arbor. She has decades of experience working with children’s issues, from education to non-profit work in teaching in urban settings and non-profit management, marketing, and fundraising. All of this work has lead her to becoming the executive director of the ChadTough Foundation. When not working, you can find her gardening, reading, writing, listening to music, and spending time with her treasured family.

January 2021 | 23


Top 7 Health Benefits of Bone Broth by Lisa Profera MD and Angelina Bielby

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aise your hand if you feel drained by 2020. Me too! I can’t promise you a perfect year, but I can point you in the direction of some solutions that will help your body be its best self, and perhaps give you some of your vitality back. As you know, January is a popular time to try new things and implement healthier habits. To start us off, I want to tell you about a simple food that’s been making waves in nutrition circles: bone broth. Bone broth is the liquid product of simmering bones, marrow, and the surrounding connective tissue for many hours. It’s an important component of many soups, stews, and other recipes. It’s also one of the most nutrient-dense foods we can consume. Humans have been drinking bone broth for thousands of years, ever since we figured out that simmering animal bones for a given amount of time produces a nutrient-rich (and delicious!) liquid. It was a handy staple for early humans to master — it’s easy to digest, it’s rich in key minerals, it can be combined with other foods for additional nutrition, and it puts to use parts of animal carcasses that might have been

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otherwise wasted. Bone broth was promoted as an important elixir of health in Chinese medicine as far back as 2,500 years ago, and was recognized in different cultures around the world early on as a food that helps the sick. This is probably why Americans associate chicken soup with battling the flu. In my New Yorker family, we fondly refer to it as “Jewish penicillin.” Broth is not the same as stock. Stock is usually ready in three hours, whereas broth takes 12-18 hours to cook. The longer the bones are allowed to simmer, the more nutrients are leached from the bones. These include minerals such as calcium, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, iron, manganese, and zinc. It’s an excellent source of collagen, amino acids, fatty acids, vitamins A and K, and more. This golden liquid is a veritable treasure-trove of vital nutrients. Here are seven ways that bone broth can make a positive difference in your overall health: Heals and Seals Your Gut. Bone broth is easy to digest; this is why dieticians recommend it for patients with food


sensitivities. Some nutrition coaches also say that the gelatin derived from the collagen in bones may fortify the intestinal lining, which further promotes gut health and can help alleviate chronic diarrhea and constipation. Protects Your Joints. Glucosamine, a compound essential to the formation of cartilage, can be found in bone broth. It’s often consumed in supplement form by people who suffer from joint pain, but glucosamine in bone broth is just as effective. Additionally, broth contains useful compounds not found in these supplements, such as chondroitin sulfate and proline, components of cartilage that help prevent osteoarthritis. Keeps Your Collagen Healthy. Bone broth has collagen, a key component of skin, muscles, bones, and joints. As we age, we lose collagen in all of these areas. Collagen supplements have been shown to improve skin elasticity and reduce fine lines and wrinkles, while fortifying bones and joints. Ingesting collagen in a broth form is easily absorbed and utilized by the body. It can help boost your own collagen density in these very important structures. Promotes Better Sleep. Glycine is an amino acid that is found in bone broth and other foods. Glycine has been linked to improved relaxation, sleep patterns, cognitive function, and decreased fatigue. Sleep is a key factor in stress reduction, mood stabilization, immune function, and so much more (to read more about the importance of sleep, look at my BRICK article in the July 2019 issue). Increases Bone Strength. The calcium, phosphorus, and magnesium that leaches out of bones in the process of making bone broth are all minerals that are vital to healthy bone maintenance. In addition, these minerals are essential factors and co-factors in many biochemical processes in our body. Provides a Great Source of Protein. Whether or not you include much meat in your diet, broth derived from animal bones carries many amino acids that you otherwise might be lacking. Amino acids are the building blocks of proteins, and are crucial for muscle recovery and energy production. You’ll want a healthy amount of these for an active lifestyle! Supports Your Immune System. Some of the nutrients mentioned previously are essential for successful immune function, especially for our body’s production of B cells, T cells, and macrophages, which are cells that play various roles in the identification and destruction of germs and

other antigens. Broth also contains many immuneboosting trace minerals such as iron, selenium, and zinc. This last point especially stands out right now. We are still facing this COVID-19 conundrum, so in addition to all other recommended precautions such as social distancing, we must do what we can to strengthen our own immune system and reduce our health risks. Proper immune function and resiliency is key for fighting any type of infectious challenge we might face. Locally-produced bone broth from pasture-raised chickens has all of these health benefits. At Heath Farms, located in Milan, Michigan, the chickens are ethically raised and free of chemicals, antibiotics, steroids, and other hormones. The small farming practices, commitment to sustainability, and humane treatment of the animals is unparalleled. Their chicken bone broth, in the words of Heath Farms family team member Rob Heath, “tastes like the essence of any delicious chicken soup you’ve ever had.” In these challenging times, I feel really good about supporting a local family-run business with a five-generation legacy. Starting this spring, you can order online on their website and get broth delivered directly to your door. Let’s take care of ourselves and our local businesses this year — we all know we need it. Snuggle up with a bowl of soup made from your favorite bone broth while you’re staying inside to ward off the winter chill and reduce the spread of all forms of illness. Here’s to being more healthconscious and moving forward. I’d like to thank Heath Farms for providing valuable information about their product and its benefits. If you’d like to know more about this company and their excellent broth, visit www.happy-chickens.com. Owner and Founder of PROJUVU MD; Aesthetics and Lifestyle Medicine in Ann Arbor, MI; Expert Injector, Medical Director; Facial Innovations Medi-spa, Ann Arbor; Medical Director, Northville Beauty Spa; Certified Medical Marijuana Doctor; Certified doTERRA Essential Oils Expert; BEMER Independent Distributor; CrossFit® Level 1 Trainer www.projuvu.com • 1-844-PROJUVU • drprofera@gmail.com www.facebook.com/projuvu/ Request to join my closed FaceBook group, www.instagram.com/youressentialoilsdoctor/

Disclaimer: Please note that the information in this article has been designed to help educate the reader regarding the subject matter covered. This information is provided with the understanding that the author and any other entity referenced here are not liable for the misconception or misuse of the information provided. It is not provided to diagnose, prescribe, or treat any disease, illness, or injured condition of the body. The provider of this information shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity concerning any loss, damage, or injury caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by this information. The information presented is in no way intended as a substitute for medical counseling or care. Anyone suffering from any disease, illness, or injury should consult a qualified healthcare professional. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.

January 2021 | 25


Leveling the Playing Field

by Marilyn Pellini

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s a small child, my daughter was often such a poor sport when it came to playing board games. She would get so frustrated when she wasn’t winning. We often gave her little hints and explained that playing with your parents and older brother was difficult, and that meant that she would usually not be the winner. I remember one time when she actually put her little hands under the board and tossed it into the air. Chutes and Ladders pieces went flying everywhere, and she just began to sob. After comforting her and explaining what it meant to be a good sport, she came to realize that what she’d done was not fair to the other players. With time, she developed her own strategies and plans for winning. When she began high school, she learned that she had many competent classmates — those who were qualified to be everything from head cheerleader to student council president. A number of parents were very involved with the school, often by volunteering for the PTA, while other kids’ parents had a “hands-off” policy. Obviously, the students who had lots of parental help and backing had a definite advantage. I colored in and lettered many a poster that my daughter 26 | The Brick Magazine

used when campaigning for student council president. Passing out sticks of gum with the message “Stick With Lynn” didn’t hurt either (that was completely her idea!). That approach turned out to be the winning combination. Ingenuity and persistence can definitely help level the field. When I applied for my first teaching job in Providence, RI, I knew my chances were pretty slim, as there was a college in the city that was devoted to producing expert teachers. I, on the other hand, had attended the local state university and didn’t even major in education. The summer after I graduated, I took a course at this famous College of Education, and when I arrived for my first interview I felt I could compete with the best of them. I remember being stunned when I walked into the room where the interview was to take place. All the seats at the huge conference table were entirely filled with members of the Board of Education. It was truly intimidating, but I did my best to express with enthusiasm my love of small children, since I was a applying for a kindergarten position. As I was closing the door behind me, I heard one woman say to the person beside her, “She certainly makes a


lovely impression.” I had dressed in my finest and most conservative outfit, and definitely looked the part. I just knew I had to raise myself up to be as strong a candidate as those who exclusively majored in education.

promoted. Some wives relished the idea of living in a new part of the country; with a raise in salary for their husbands came a raise in real estate for them. Their houses got bigger and grander with each relocation.

We have a fine school system in the area where we’ve now lived for many years. The teachers and guidance counselors are devoted. Students are reminded at the start of their freshman year that the grades they earn from then on will go with them to college. Most everyone seems to buckle down and really apply themselves so they can have their pick of colleges. I was very fortunate that I didn’t have to nudge my children to be joiners, as colleges like to see students filling their time well.

I, however, found leaving family and friends especially difficult. In my first move away from my home state, I concentrated on being a mother and housewife, and outside of visiting with my immediate neighbors, I was very isolated. That made me feel sad a lot of the time, as I was gregarious by nature.

Some kids like to dabble in many areas and try lots of things, and I’d say my husband and I did encourage that. How does one know if they’ll have a love or aptitude for a particular sport if they’ve never tried it? Here again, the parents who could afford private lessons were able to develop their childrens’ talent, but there were just as many youngsters who were so devoted that they played on the town team, school team, and a travel team, so they too developed true expertise. By receiving instruction from a variety of coaches, they worked hard to perfect their ability, which gave them an edge. My daughter was one of those who tried everything, and was surprisingly good at many things. One Christmas, she only asked for a guitar. After her first lesson at age seven, she came out of the studio enthusiastically nodding. When she got into the car, I asked her what she was so positive about, and she firmly stated, “Music is my thing.” I actually laughed, but she was right. She had taken dance lessons and baton lessons, but told me she was very klutzy and did not feel she was on the same level with the other kids. She was correct about her aptitude for music; in college, she became the leader of the women’s acapella singing group. My son, on the other hand, honed in on scouting and became an Eagle Scout at age 15. His Eagle Project took 400 hours, even though only 100 were required. He applied to some pretty impressive schools, though graduating only in the top 25% of his class made his chances of acceptance less certain. But his devotion to scouting, where he continued to raise in rank even after becoming an Eagle, did open doors for some very high-ranking colleges. After law school, he had a job interview with a gentleman who served in John F. Kennedy’s cabinet. His first comment was, “Oh my! I see you were an Eagle Scout.” My family as a whole experienced an uneven terrain of a different sort for a while. For my first six years of marriage, we lived in four states. It was the nature of many jobs back then to move from state to state whenever you were

So with the next move, I immediately got involved in my new community. I moved into my first house on a Friday, and on Monday I was at church choir practice. In this new town, my oldest child would be attending school for the first time. Being a teacher myself, I was so impressed with the staff, his classmates, and the school system in general. When it came time to move again, I balked. I begged my husband to stay in our small town, even though I knew it might be a stumbling block in his career. After much discussion we stayed, and it turned out to be literally the best move we ever made. We were still three hours away from family and old friends, but it was a doable car trip, and we saw much of Grammie and Grampie. I was so happy in this home that I became a devoted community volunteer; I felt that the Hand of God had sent us here, and I needed to pay back, big time, for His help. My husband saw the consequences that plagued the children of his colleagues who continued to move time and time again. These kids had no permanence in their lives and often retreated from life, or got involved in questionable activities. Al, my husband, was such a hard worker that eventually he got the same promotions as the other salesmen, even though it took a little longer. Thus, we as a family were able to compete in all of life’s challenges and glories on the same playing field as our friends and peers. Through all of the successes and losses that life has thrown at us, we’ve remained a happy little clan to this day.

Marilyn Pellini has recently published a grief book titled Dear Al, A Widow’s Struggles and Remembrances. Her other credits as a writer include recent articles in Brick Magazine titled “Memories in My Button Jar” and “Restructuring My World,” pieces in Westchester Parent Magazine, Bay State Parent Magazine, On The Water, Balanced Rock, and others. In May 2018, she took the first place prize in the NY State Federation of Women’s Clubs writing contest.

January 2021 | 27


Crossing the Threshold: A Magical Midlife Moment

by Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC Photo by Annie Spratt

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et me attempt to capture here, if even possible, an inner experience that literally stopped me in my tracks and left me completely out of sorts. It’s that moment when you notice an odd giant space between your thoughts. A truly vacant landscape. A clearing of sorts. In that instant, you’re unsure exactly how you feel. Happy? Sad? Confused?

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I’ll zero in a bit more. The void occurred split seconds after I suddenly realized, with lighting-bolt impact, I no longer have any dependents to look after. Oh. My. Gosh. Anyone else with me here? If so, perhaps you’ve experienced a similar surreal state. A huge hole opens. You fall in. You plummet into the awareness that you no longer need to mentally ponder any details of nurturing little ducklings —


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or, in my case, kids, dogs, and elders. Zillions of repetitive details become irrelevant. Details like what to feed them, how to cloth them, what to check up on, ask about, or help them with. Quite the change. It’s bizarre, really. You see, my friends, as we head into this new year, life is dramatically different in our home. I’m sharing this with you because if it hasn’t happened already, it will most likely happen in your home at some point, too. So prepare yourself. Reach out to me if or when you need first aid or support as you venture through this mysterious portal.

The Basics My daughter is thriving in her 24-year-old adult life. I get to relish her career accomplishments and the joys she experiences in partnership with her beloved. She no longer needs my care. Instead, we share the blessing of an incredible friendship and the delight of sharing many adventures together. My parents are both deceased. My elderly father passed away several years ago. My mother died suddenly this

past April from the coronavirus. Visceral memories of my parents’ powerful impact on my life randomly pop into my awareness. I smile. Or tear up. It all depends on what has surfaced. I can feel them with me with such emotional intensity; it’s otherworldly. 11:11 moments happen all the time too. My angels — they are so with me. Yet, as suddenly as my mother’s passing came the instantaneous falling away of all considerations related to her well-being and care. No longer did I need to do any mental gymnastics to determine when I would call her, or ponder what I might bring her when I visited her next. Instead, there’s this incredible sad, empty void now where caregiving thoughts had previously existed. A vacant landscape, for sure. The most recent shift — the one that clinched the totality of my massive mental and emotional transformation — was the loss of our little Yorkshire terrier, Sneakers. After 14 years of this little guy preoccupying a significant portion of my headspace, he moved on to the high heavens. We’re sure he’s romping around wild and free in a blissful state of pure doggie contentment.

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Sneakers’ passing thus brought to an end all the simple and repetitive dog considerations. All dog owners, I’m sure, can relate. From the moment I woke up, it was always a routine. Time to feed the dog; let the dog out; playtime; cuddle time; loving time. And of course, as he aged, there were extra considerations. No reason to go there in my mind now. So odd.

Two Emotional Realities at Once My new reality is indeed strange. It’s gut-wrenchingly painful and incredibly freeing. It’s both, in the same split second. Where do I emotionally land with all of this? How can I hold these awarenesses simultaneously? Which way might I turn? Have any of your ever felt what I am trying to capture here? The heart breaks open in two directions at once. You’re on a threshold. Being a good enough daughter, mother, and pet owner has taken up a hell of a lot of heart and head space over the course of my life. In an instant, I’ve suddenly become free of worry or regard for all details related to the art of nurturing well. Granted, my beloved husband gets a ton of my loving vibes, but this kind of care feels different. It’s icing on his cake rather than essential for his survival and well-being. We’re simply creating a marriage by stringing one good moment after another together, ironing out the occasional wrinkles as necessary.

Different, Yet Delightful It’s different, yet so, so delightful. That was what I felt as I sensed that new, strange whisper —the whisper of awareness: I can return completely to myself. I have no person or creature needing or calling for me. Wow. Happy New Year to me! I reveled in the realization that I could now focus on myself with a spaciousness I had not ever felt in my adult life. A magical midlife moment, one might say. A sweet portal to to the palace of Self drawing you in. I bet some of you can relate.

Returning Home to Myself Returning home to myself was and continues to be an absolutely marvelous experience. Time feels deliciously different — because it is. I wake up and get to attend to myself first. How novel! Time feels rich and precious. Transformative, actually. Each day holds limitless possibilities. I feel expansive, and compelled to boldly seize the day. I can decide what I want to do, focus on, create, or tune into with fresh breath and depth. Is this real? I pinch myself. I get a new opportunity to fully become the woman I’ve longed to be, taking magnificent refuge in myself.

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Most days start with meditation in a beautiful decorated l room I’ve recently created for myself in what used to be my daughter’s bedroom (with her permission and blessings granted, of course.) I even treated myself to the luxury of a vegan leather meditation chair — something I highly recommend, especially if backaches have derailed previous attempts to establish a practice. I’ve perfected the art of sitting still. Quite the change from the on-the-go, getit-done, keep-juggling-all-the-balls mama-mode that I’d been in for so many years. My day then continues to unfold in wonderfully unpredictable and magical ways. Perhaps I cook a breakfast feast, or maybe I fast. Some days I walk in the nearby woods, other days I hop on my elliptical. Maybe I spend time contemplating something I’ve read. Or perhaps I enjoy analyzing the dream I had the previous night, searching for clues to my next best move on my path. I love savoring the intuitive knowledge that drifts across my awareness as I go about my day, now more than ever able to trust myself with myself. This muscle has grown much stronger with age and the gift of time. The joy of being able to slow down always harkens me inward. My attention and ability to focus internally fuels my superpowers and my spiritual life. I’m a better life coach for my clients, a better partner in my marriage, a more consciously connected friend, and a fun-loving, carefree mama for adulting-time with my daughter. Nothing seems to drain my life-force, and my creative energy is typically firing on all cylinders. I spend time and money investing in myself and my personal growth. I feel happy and content. Definitely up-leveled! And so, my friends, as we enter another glorious new year, I know mine shall be like no other. I invite you to celebrate as I will be. I’m a free spirit continuing my upward evolution. Not wasting a precious second. Not settling for any midlife mediocrity. For time is lovingly moving us (and our dependents) right along. Step into the spaciousness. Thrive there. Go after that which gives you goosebumps! And remember to take a moment to simply be. Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC is a certified Life Coach in Ann Arbor, MI who loves empowering adolescents, adults, and couples to live from the HEART of what really matters to them so that they can bring their fully expressed, vibrant selves into the world. She has a special gift for helping women reclaim their feminine power, and embrace their radiant, sensual, sexy spirits. Their lives transform. They soar into their mid-life magnificence! www.lifeempowermentcoaching.com Instagram: @life_coach_maria Facebook: www.facebook.com/LifeEmpowermentCoaching


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“it has to be more than pretty; it must be livable” R E F L E C T YO U R L I F E ST Y L E .

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