HOLDREN’S STEAKHOUSE BURGER.

Topped with melted bleu cheese and spicy house made onion straws, this sandwich is one of the best true steak-house burgers on the Central Coast . Pair it with Lagunitas Hazy Wonder IPA or a glass of Grassini Cabernet Sauvignon, Happy Canyon . www.holdrens.com

I’ve yet to attend the absolutely perfect wine tasting . Perhaps such an event will never occur, since I’m flying headlong into my remaining golden years and time is of the essence . This is all despite having long been part of an exceptional end-of-year dinner where the quality of the offerings is theoretically world-class due to the benevolence of generous friends with deep cellars .

Though the last get-together was extraordinary, there were several bottlings of unquestionably 24-karat notoriety that were also unquestionably disappointing .

I know that I’ll never be totally happy until my notes read as follows:

Chateau Monumental 2017 Chardonnay... Truly, the alpha and omega of Sonoma Burgundian varietals, this ethereal nectar enchanted from across the room like a bejeweled debutante bathed in aromatherapy candlelight. Thrilling, yet gossamer-like, with greater complexity than Einstein’s grocery list, it spoke of toasted Malayan yellow dwarf coconut, rose quartz-like minerality, and the delirious maelstrom of flavors from a $1,000 Dean and Deluca fruit basket. The texture was at once feathery and firm, with spinetingling textural profligacy. I wailed and cried in disbelief at its wondrousness, and almost rent my clothes as well, but was wearing my favorite knockoff Armani jacket.

Mount Brooding 2014 Pinot Noir... A garnet-colored revelation with an effusive, apocalyptic perfume of rose petal, toasted cinnamon, salacious bing cherry and an intimation of Provençale animal paddock, this olfactory temptress seduces all five senses: Yes, it rated a “98” just for its stunning sound when poured into stemware. It besieged the mind, coated the palate and electrified the assembled group to the extent that a fistfight erupted when “Larry”attempted to Bogart the contents of the decanter. It is pointless to uncork another Pinot Noir ever again ... I am ruined for life. I even stopped using contractions.

Summa Cum Laude 2005 Cabernet Sauvignon... Absolutely stunning color precluded the need to even sample this otherworldly beverage. A stupefying bouquet of violets, leather and indecently concentrated cassis prompted me to turn away in embarrassment, with a feeling of unworthiness and self-loathing at having dared penetrate this elixir’s profundity. I could not bring myself to taste it; it was unspeakably stellar.

May you experience one immaculate bottle in your lifetime . . .

Award-Winning Wine list Full Bar • Martini Menu Private Banquet Room with Custom Menus Catering • Take-out

Come and enjoy our new outdoor heated parklet and sidewalk dining area!

“This bistro shines with gourmet food at everyday prices and remains an absolute must in SB for creative fare, illuminating wines; charming decor, a satisfyingly buzzy ambiance and exceptional service . ” —Zagat Survey 1325 State Street • Open Daily • (805) 966-9676 Next to the Arlington Theatre www .opalrestaurantandbar .com

PETIT VALENTIEN Local black cod with lemon herb sauce. www.petitvalentien.com

JANE RESTAURANT Bay scallop salad with local favorite, Storm Winery sauvignon blanc. www.janesb.com

1 . SAVOY CAFÉ & DELI • Chef Kathy’s scratch-made protein granola and Greek yogurt . Top it with fresh berries and pair it with fresh squeezed O .J . www .savoycafe .weebly .com . 2 . SCARLETT BEGONIA • Classic Eggs Benedict with buttermilk biscuit, beeler ham, poached eggs, hollandaise, grained potatoes, arugula . scarlettbegonia .net . 3 . BEDDA MIA • Cassateddi in Broru: Housemade sheep’s milk ricotta agnellotti, lamb consommé, pecorino . Pair with Gillo, a Sicilian dry white wine . www .beddamiasantabarbara .com . 4 . OPAL RESTAURANT AND BAR • Fish tacos paired with Foley Winery Chardonnay . www .opalrestaurantandbar .com