Creative Loafing Tampa — February 1, 2024 by Chava Communications

FEB. 01-07, 2024 (VOL.37, NO.05) • $FREE CREATIVE LOAFING - CLTAMPABAY.COM

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PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa

JOAO HENRIQUE STEFFEN

Editorial DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf MANAGING EDITOR Kyla Fields THEATER CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge FILM & TV CRITIC John W. Allman IN-HOUSE WITCH Caroline DeBruhl CONTRIBUTORS Josh Bradley, Christina Petersen, Jennifer Ring, Linda Saul-Sena, McKenna Schueler PHOTOGRAPHERS Jack Cymbryla, Dave Decker SPRING INTERN Suz Townsend Creative Services CREATIVE DIRECTOR Jack Spatafora GRAPHIC DESIGNER Joe Frontel ILLUSTRATORS Dan Perkins, Cory Robinson, Bob Whitmore Advertising SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda Events and Marketing MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS DIRECTOR Leigh Wilson MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS COORDINATOR Kristin Bowman SOCIAL MEDIA AND MARKETING MANAGER Corrie Miserendino

One of the greatest guitarists I’ve seen in my whole life.

Circulation CIRCULATION MANAGER Ted Modesta Chava Communications Group FOUNDER, CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Michael Wagner CO-FOUNDER, CHIEF MARKETING OFFICER Cassandra Yardeni Wagner OPERATIONS DIRECTOR Hollie Mahadeo DIRECTOR OF AGENCY SERVICES Kelsey Molina SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR Meradith Garcia DIRECTOR OF DIGITAL CONTENT STRATEGY Colin Wolf ART DIRECTOR David Loyola DIGITAL OPERATIONS COORDINATOR Jaime Monzon

EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa Bay is a publication covering public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum. They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Creative Loafing Tampa is published by Tampa Events & Media, LLC, 633 N Franklin St., Suite 735. Tampa, Florida, 33602.

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In the end, Florida had 13 restaurants make the Top 100.

Three Bay area restaurants on coveted Yelp list, p. 31.

The newspaper is produced and printed on Indigenous land belonging to Tampa Bay’s Tocobaga and Seminole tribes.

ON THE COVER: Design by Joe Frontel.

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/food Tampa’s Table cookbook PETE SOUZA

Correction: In last week's story "Spring focus groups aim to shape the future of Pinellas County’s art scene," we printed an inaccurate figure on how much money was sent to a cultural group. Pinellas County’s new cultural plan actually sent $248,000 to the planning group. We regret the error.

/music Bob Dylan is coming /news Cops in your mailbox /arts I Am My Own Wife /slideshows Airplane bungalows?

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Booty called Photos by Dave Decker

t was perfect weather for a pirate parade. Last Saturday, over 300,000 mateys plundered Tampa’s Bayshore Boulevard for the third largest parade in the U.S. The 2024 Gasparilla Pirate Parade attracted over 120 parade floats, 30 krewes, hundreds of boaters, and, of course, the star of the show, tons beads. Overall, the event went smoothly. More than 30 law enforcement agencies were on hand, and a total of 26 arrests were made, on both land and sea, during Saturday’s parade. If you’re wondering what to do with all those hard-earned beads, you can drop them off at multiple locations around Tampa for recycling, or the Florida Aquarium will even trade them in for a 50% off general admission ticket. See more Gaspy photos, BORGs and all, via cltampa.com/slideshows.—Colin Wolf

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do this

Tampa Bay's best things to do from February 01-07

Mitzi Gordon’s Carmada—which brings art on wheels to public spaces via vibrantly painted, almostalways fully functioning cars—celebrates a 10-year anniversary with two Tampa events including this art car show on Seventh Avenue, between 15th and 17th Streets. It’s the same two blocks that host Kress Contemporary, The Florida Museum of Photographic Arts, Marcolina’s Fine Arts Gallery, and Drip Ybor. With DJ Donnie Luv spinning tunes, it’s an art block party in the making, with an organization that’s perennially embraced the Bay area’s most-up-and-coming and impactful visual creators.

EDEL MOHR

Paint jobs

Carmada en Ybor: Saturday Feb. 3. Noon-4 p.m. No cover. Seventh Avenue, between 15th and 17th Streets, Ybor City. @artcarmada on Facebook —Jennifer Ring

BUSCHGARDENSTAMPABAY/FACEBOOK

Mardis Gras at Busch Gardens Tampa Bay: Runs daily until March 3. Noonpark close. $138.99 & up. Busch Gardens Tampa Bay, 10165 McKinley Dr., Tampa. Buschgardens.com —Kyla Fields

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EVENFH/ADOBE

Mardi on

The Gasparilla day parade might have already passed, but you can always collect more beads at Busch Gardens’ annual Mardis Gras celebration (which tends to be more family-friendly than its flagship party on the other side of the Gulf Coast.) From now until early March, the popular theme park hosts New Orleans-style, brass bands, Cajun-inspired specialties at a variety of its restaurants and kiosks, a “bead balcony” and large Mardis Gras parade featuring entertainers and stilt walkers every FridaySunday. Just a few of the exclusive food and drink offerings that you can find throughout Busch Gardens—that may inspire you to embody the spirit of Fat Tuesday—include andouille sausage po’ boys and Cajun BBQ short ribs from Esplanade Street Bites, jambalaya from Jackson Square and the “Bourbon Street Daisy” cocktail from The Voodoo Lounge. All Mardis Gras festivities and entertainment are included in the price of park admission.

Bay to Bay

The Sixth Annual Dunedin International Film Festival brings 15 feature films to downtown Dunedin (primarily on Douglas Avenue at House of Beer and Dunedin Brewery’s Moon Tower venue) during the first four days of February. Flicks includes the Dunedin debuts of “Taste of Love” and “RADAR: The Bionic Dog,” both filmed in Pinellas County, on Friday and Saturday nights. Other highlights include a rare scheduled performance from The Witches of Dunedin; several industry workshops; a Saturday-night screening of feature documentary, “Unfiltered: The Truth About Oysters,” starring oysters from Apalachicola Bay (pictured); a Saturday-night screening of “The Martini Shot,” a feature-length film about confronting one’s mortality starring Matthew Modine and John Cleese; and a red carpet awards ceremony at The Fenway Hotel Sunday night..

Dunedin International Film Festival : Thursday-Sunday, Feb. 1-4. $15

& up. Various venues, Dunedin. Dunedinfilmfestival.org —Jennifer Ring

See more (and submit your event) @ cltampa.com Time to prey

Cool Katt

Actor and “no nonsense” comedian Katt Williams added a second Tampa performance due to popular demand, and both of his highly-anticipated gigs are finally here. With a dozen stand-up comedy specials over a 16-year span under his belt, countless roles in cult classics like “Norbit” and “Friday after Next,” and even an Emmy for an appearance in season two of Donald Glover’s show “Atlanta,” Williams has garnered a reputation for being hilarious with a straightforward and honest bent. The 52 year-old comedian recently made waves for his comments about other performers and Hollywood culture during his candid, three-hour interview on Club Shay, which has resulted in public pushback from Dave Chappelle and other celebrities, a parody skit on SNL and over 55 million views online. Williams does four shows in Tampa and Orlando— which may be chock full of more spicy celebrity commentary—before heading back up north on his national “Dark Matter” tour.

ST. PETERSBURG PARKS & RECREATION/FACEBOOK

WARNER BROS.

St. Petersburg’s Boyd Hill Nature Preserve is home to 20 raptors, or birds of prey (like the Eastern Screech Owl pictured), that have been deemed non-releasable. Those birds have also been carefully vetted to ensure that they can be safely handled and used in educational programs. Thousands of bird-brained visitors stop by each year for Raptor Fest, and raise money to support Boyd Hill’s Birds of Prey Program. Attendees can learn more about the birds, see them in free flight, and yes, take a selfie with some of them as part of a day filled with environmental exhibits, kids activities, bird walks and more. Parking is limited, so utilizing the free parking and shuttle from nearby Lakewood High School (1400 54th Ave. S, St. Petersburg) and Lake Vista Recreation Center (401 62nd Ave. S, St. Petersburg) is recommended.

10th annual Raptor Fest: Saturday, Feb. 3. 10 a.m.-4 p.m.. No

Katt Williams, The Dark Matter Tour: Saturday-Sunday, Feb. 3-4. 8 p.m.

cover. Boyd Hill Nature Preserve, 1101 Country Club Wy. S, St. Petersburg. raptorfest.org —Ray Roa

& 7 p.m. $59. Yuengling Center, 12499 USF Bull Run Dr., Tampa. yuenglingcenter.com

—Kyla Fields

Hot stuff

CAVAN/ADOBE

DK Farms & Gardens is a familyfriendly petting zoo that’s great for kid’s birthday parties or other events, but the quiet, three-acre Largo parcel transforms into a bustling Middle Ages-era town when the second annual Pinellas Medieval Fair returns. Over the course of two weekends, this bustling festival will host a variety of entertainment—from archery and tournament reenactments to tomato throwing and blacksmith demonstrations—alongside unique food and drink offerings, a variety of different vendors and kid-friendly activities like pony rides, mini golf, petting zoos, bounce houses and more. The Medieval Fair’s first week (Feb. 3-4) has a circus theme while its second installment (Feb. 10-11) offers more animal-focused entertainment. Event organizers strongly suggest that folks pre-order tickets on their since last year’s inaugural fair was so popular, but at least parking is still free.

Pinellas Medieval Fair: SaturdaySunday, Feb. 3-4 & Feb. 10-11. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. $15-$22. DK Farms & Gardens, 1750 Lake Ave. SE, Largo. Dkfarmsandgardens.com —Kyla Fields

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“The rhythm of the street has been disrupted by garages and a pervasive shade of beige.” POLITICS

ISSUES

OPINION

Protect West Tampa

The soul and spirit of a quintessential Tampa neighborhood is on the line. By Linda Saul-Sena

Cleverly, he donated land to cigar manufacturers who built their factories and then casitas for the cigar workers or tabaqueros. Commercial buildings followed along with shops and schools. Several of the mutual aid societies from Ybor City also constructed grand club houses in West Tampa; the gloriously elaborate Centro Español de West Tampa and the Sicilian Club still stand today. These mutual aid societies formed the center of the workers’ social lives. MacFarlane developed a streetcar line which connected West Tampa to the rest of the city and most of the families used that for transportation because the system was quite robust, with 56 miles of tracks, until it was shuttered in 1946. He donated 40 acres of land to create

developing very distinct cultural connections. The demographics were definitely majorityminority and still are Spanish-speaking, but the countries of origin changed. In 1930, half of the population hailed from Spain and Cuba and by the ‘80s, from Venezuela, Mexico, Puerto Rico and Central America. MacFarlane incorporated West Tampa as a city early on and resisted the incorporation of his area in the City of Tampa until 1924. By the time the City of Tampa annexed West Tampa, the politics of the City were fraught with ethnic divisions. The City was divided into four wards, simplistically, North Tampa, South Tampa, East Tampa and West Tampa.

A SENSE OF PLACE: Block ranch style houses have started to replace the West Tampa’s original wooden casitas. “MacFarlane Park” for the community and in 1912 cajoled a fellow Scot, Andrew Carnegie, to donate funds for the construction of the West Tampa Library we know today. As word spread about the availability of work in West Tampa, immigrants moved to West Tampa from Cuba, Spain and Sicily seeking employment in the cigar factories and

cigar factories in both East and West Tampa. Meanwhile, the Spanish speaking community was served by dozens of newspapers with a pro-labor bent including La Gaceta which is tri-lingual and still in business today. The factory owners lived in other areas, so West Tampa was solidly a working class area with the Black community clustered closer to the eastern shore of the river. Madame Fortune Taylor was a freed slave who moved to Tampa after the Civil War. She and her husband, Benjamin, owned 30 acres of land west of downtown Tampa. Taylor was a successful business person when the double whammy of racism and sexism stacked the odds against her. When MacFarlane wanted to develop his property and build his bridge, he purchased the land from her. The 1920s were a boom time for West Tampa as cigar-smoking peaked in popularity. The 1930s were dismal as the Great Depression and the rising popularity of cigarettes caused the cigar economy to tumble. The large, red brick cigar factory buildings which dominated the skyline were sometimes converted to other manufacturing uses, such as garment factories, and continued to provide employment for the locals. The emergence of Tampa as a base for military training was a shot in the arm for the economy. Drew Field, MacDill Air Force Base and Henderson Air Field flooded Tampa with young men who came here to train for WWII. Many were charmed and returned here after the war to live. Florida’s roller coaster of prosperity started its long ascent in the 1950s, and West Tampa remained relatively stable. After Kennedy’s assassination, which took place four days after his visit to Tampa, Lyndon B. Johnson embarked on a round of Great Society legislation aimed at improving poverty in America. LBJ’s aims were lofty, but unfortunately, much of Ybor City was demolished as the reality of the Urban Renewal program was manifest as Urban Removal. Many former residents of Ybor City moved to West Tampa as their homes were demolished. In the ‘60s, construction of I-275 through the center of West Tampa created a terrible loss continued on page 15

COLUMN

LINDA SAUL-SENA

ew and slick and shiny objects are attractive in their gloss, but need time to develop depth and spirit. This is true for places as well as people. Much of Florida is too newly minted to have this patina, so if we value character, we need to stop demolishing and paving over our older neighborhoods. West Tampa is one such neighborhood, rich in texture and history. But development pressures are squeezing it. Trees have been uprooted to make room for townhomes designed with little regard for the character of the neighborhood’s signature casitas. The rhythm of the street has been disrupted by garages and a pervasive shade of beige. Even as West Tampa begins to feel its own strength after decades of neglect, motorists still breeze by on I-275 or speed through on its oneway streets, Howard and Armenia, not knowing of the special place they’re passing through. The West Tampa Chamber of Commerce says the neighborhood ranges from Kennedy Boulevard to the south, the Hillsborough River to the east, Hillsborough Avenue to the north and Dale Mabry to the west. Guido Maniscalco, a citywide Tampa City Council member knows this area to his core. As a third generation West Tampeño, he passionately protects the identity of his neighborhood. “The giant water tower emblazoned ‘West Tampa’ plants a flag for this community and Midtown, the recent dense development with shops, restaurants and hotels, is a part of it,” Maniscalco told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. Other named portions include Armory Gardens, North Hyde Park, and West Tampa Heights. Los Cien—or “The Hundred,” a neighborhood named for a mutual aid society that created housing for club members—is also within West Tampa’s borders. Those borders grew out of the vision of a savvy businessman and lawyer who saw V.M. Ybor’s success in Ybor City and decided to copy his formula. In 1892, Hugh MacFarlane purchased 200 acres of swampy land on the west side of the Hillsborough River and proceeded to develop it, platting streets, subdividing land and building the first bridge across the river. He moved quickly and by 1895 more than 2,000 immigrants moved there.

The makeup of the North and South quadrants was basically white people, while East and West was a mixto: Cuban, Spanish, and Black. Those power struggles were regularly covered at The Tampa Tribune, the city’s mainstream newspaper, where biases slanted towards the “Downtown Boys” including Hugh MacFarlane and the owners of the

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“I don’t want to see West Tampa grow rapidly, without direction.”

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LOOKING BACK: Many people have paved the way for West Tampa over the years. continued from page 13 of houses and shops, as social and cultural ties were severed. Suddenly, families and friends who’d lived a block away for decades now were forced to walk a half-mile around a new Maginot Line just to see each other. The second and third generations of the original West Tampeños, better educated and more prosperous, started moving north to build new concrete block ranch style houses to replace the original wooden casitas. The membership of the Centro Español and the Sicilian Club eroded. In 1944, the federal government underwrote the construction of public housing, North Boulevard Homes, on 44 acres with 2,000 residents. The good news is that these 820 small apartments provided much needed shelter, the bad news is that they were never air-conditioned—and eventually torn down in 2017. Over the decades, maintenance was deferred and the tight-knit community suffered along with the commercial areas along Main Street and Howard Avenue, the 100% corner—or heart—of West Tampa.

The businesses along these busy streets showed the evolution of the neighborhood as stores with Black, white and Latin owners stood side by side. Moses White’s Deluxe Cozy Corner was a neighborhood favorite, featuring barbecue and hot dogs (three for a quarter). He was a civic leader who helped broker peace in the 1960s when the tensions between the Black and white communities rose. While their businesses were next to each other, Black families lived on the eastern side of West Tampa, adjacent to the river. Their affluent homes were centered on Cypress Street near the politically powerful Beulah Baptist Church. Blake High School, Stewart Middle School and Just Elementary School, all segregated until the late 1960s hugged the river, adjacent to the North Boulevard Homes. The Latin community—Italians, Cubans, Spaniards—was centered on Howard Avenue and gravitated west and north, with the grocery

stores and restaurants highlighting Cuban food. The stretch of Columbus Drive between the river and Dale Mabry is known as “Boliche Boulevard” for the Cuban specialty. As the decades moved along, West Tampa remained static, with little new investment. In 1975, the Tampa Community Design Center, under the leadership of the late Jan Abell, did a facade improvement study for Howard Avenue and a plan to stabilize the Centro Español. While other parts of Tampa were experiencing new investment, West Tampa was dormant. Despite the leadership from the Tampa Housing Authority, Phil Alessi, Bernie Cimino, Rick Caldevila and others, the Black and Latin community leaders couldn’t agree on the direction of the plan and nothing changed. In 2006, Mayor Pam Iorio cut the ribbon on three new casitas which shared the architectural characteristics of the neighborhood-steps leading to a columned front porch, Victorian

COLUMN

flourishes at the slanted roof’s apex and narrow, long structures. Senoia Brantley, who grew up in the Grant Park neighborhood of Atlanta and Savannah gravitated to this walkable, shady neighborhood, purchasing a casita. “I love West Tampa and I’m excited about the boutique hotel and Publix slated for my neighborhood.” She has created”Geechee Secret Garden” next to her home and it feels like it’s been there forever. When the housing authority and Mayor Bob Buckhorn started courting developers to replace North Boulevard Homes with market rate housing, investors began to pay more attention to West Tampa. The demolition and construction has taken almost a decade and the recent private investment along Main Street and Howard Avenue reflects the optimism about the spending habits of hundreds of new residents. Joe Robinson, past chair of the Community Redevelopment Agency’s Advisory Committee, has been a passionate West Tampa advocate for decades. He shared the ambitious list of City of continued on page 17

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KEEPING UP: Hamilton Jones has taken up the challenge of restoring MacFarlane’s original law office building. continued from page 15 Tampa projects slated for the area, including the improvement of the alleys and the complete refurbishment of Rey Park. Even the nearby University of Tampa has been supporting off-campus student housing in West Tampa. The dramatic increase in apartments around Willow and Fig Streets is a shift from the industrial uses which used to sit by the railroad tracks there. Eric Weiss, the owner of Willa’s, a hip restaurant in this area is very pleased with his location. “I’m actually interested in starting another place on Main Street,” he told CL. While a shooting on Main Street in the spring of 2023, cooled enthusiasm for a few months, preservation and rehabilitation projects on Howard and Main Street are now forging ahead. University of South Professor of Architecture, Professor Adrianna Pablos Llonos has selected the Centro Español building, which is owned by the City of Tampa and currently used by the Hillsborough Education Foundation, as the focus of their Design Lab. The class toured the building and West Tampa led by Manny Leto, a local historian and Director of Preserve the ‘Burg in St. Petersburg, whose local ties are deep. “We need an assessment of our historic fabric that’s still intact and protection and incentives to preserve the cigar factories, houses and shops which remain,” Leto told the tour. Jeanette Fenton, the President of the West Tampa Chamber of Commerce, has chosen the theme of “Prosperity and Preservation” for the organization. A game changer for West Tampa was the transformation of the historic Fort Homer Hesterly

Armory into the Bryan Glazer Family Jewish Community Center in 2016. David Scher became a committee of one as he identified the opportunity and negotiated a deal with the quartermaster of the National Guard to split the site and rehabilitate the structure into a gathering place which attracted people from all over south Tampa with the activities and programs offered there. Hamilton Jones has been a preservation hero for his careful restoration of the Palace of Florence on Davis Islands as well as buildings throughout south Tampa. Fortunately, he has taken up the challenge of restoring MacFarlane’s original law office building on Howard Avenue. Jones replaced the roof, repointed the brick, replaced the windows and doors and floors. He mused, “I’ve driven through and seen this building forever. Now I’ve bought it and I’m doing it the right way. Once you restore one, it can be a catalyst for the whole neighborhood.” Jones got a boost from his Community Redevelopment Agency’s restorations fund. West Tampa’s CRA has nearly-$20 million in its coffers. That money could go a long way toward improving the alleys, planting trees, low-cost loans to individual property owners for maintaining their historic facades and eventually creating a community cultural center in the Centro Espanol. Adrienne Garcia, the Chamber’s past president observed, “I don’t want to see West Tampa grow rapidly, without direction. I am optimistic that by raising awareness of this area’s potential and gathering resources we’ll successfully stabilize the characteristics, brick streets, casitas, cigar factories, tree canopy, cemeteries and clubs, which make us distinctive.”

COLUMN

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FLORIDA NEWS

Tampa Democrat among those lining up behind controversial child labor law changes. By McKenna Schueler Industry groups, like the Florida Home Builders Association and Associated Builders and Contractors, that are lobbying for the legislation, however, say these Career and Technical Education (CTE) programs aren’t equally spread across Florida. This means not every student has access. Ashton Mears, a lobbyist for the Florida Home Builders and former CTE teacher, said as of the 2020-2021 school year, 29 counties in Florida either did not offer in a class for construction, or only offered one. “This bill does not mandate you to work in construction, but gives you an opportunity to gain experience in a rewarding and a rewarding career,” Mears said. Unlike children enrolled in a school program, however, young workers can legally be hired and paid sub-minimum wages to start, and are less likely to speak up on the job if their boss doesn’t follow all of the rules, or fails to pay them all of what they’re lawfully owed. This kind of behavior—wage theft—is common in the construction industry (just ask Florida Sen. Keith Perry, whose own roofing company has been cited for violating overtime requirements). Enforcement experts say the state already

fails to protect children under current law as it is. Florida only has seven employees dedicated to enforcing child labor law across thousands of job sites. The U.S. Department of Labor’s Wage and Hour Division, which enforces federal child labor standards, similarly has just a few dozen investigators to go around. According to the New York Times, construction has become one of the most common industries in which children crossing the U.S. border seeking work to support their families have been illegally hired for under-the-table jobs. Some of these children, employed on roofing and construction sites in Florida, have suffered injuries. At least a couple of these children have died on the job. “It’s kind of this illusion that if we have the laws on the books, people are going to follow them,” David Weil, the former head of the Wage and Hour division during the Obama administration, previously told Orlando Weekly. “People just don’t worry about having an investigator showing up because there are so few of them to go around.”

The House and Senate bills’ Republican sponsors have watered down their legislation in recent weeks, specifically to address some of the safety concerns voiced by critics. Sen. Corey Simon, a first-term senator elected in 2022, amended his bill to only allow for older teens to work on residential construction, not commercial sites, and clarified that teens 16 and older would not be permitted to work on scaffolding, ladders, or roofs above six feet off the ground. Rep. Snyder similarly amended his bill—which didn’t go as far as Simon’s to begin with—to align with the Senate version. Still, opponents argue the legislation could still conflict with federal standards under the Fair Labor Standards Act, which prohibits allowing minors to work “on or about roofs.” “Putting kids on roofs is now off the table,” Alexis Tsoukalas, a policy analyst for the Florida Policy Institute, acknowledged during Thursday’s panel hearing. “The problem is, it still doesn’t roll out youth working near continued on page 25

“Young workers can legally be hired and paid sub-minimum wages to start.”

STATE OF FLORIDA

lorida Democratic lawmakers are beginning to hop on board with controversial legislation that would, in part, revise Florida’s child labor law to allow minors 16 and older to do nonclerical work in residential construction that is currently deemed too dangerous for minors. The proposal is one of more than a dozen proposed rollbacks to child labor laws introduced or passed in state legislatures over the last two years, despite reports of a stark rise in violations in Florida and across the country. Records obtained by Orlando Weekly in November show the legislation, which broadly aims to bolster career and technical education opportunities for school-aged children, was written by lobbyists for the home builder and construction industries, who have heartily defended the bill in front of House and Senate lawmakers. Carol Bowen, a lobbyist for the Associated Builders and Contractors who helped draft the legislation, didn’t bother hiding this Thursday during a hearing of the legislation by a Florida House panel. “I want to thank our bill sponsor,” said Bowen, in a nod to House Bill 917 sponsor Rep. John Snyder. “I told him we were going to give him an easy bill this session, and so clearly I’ve lied and I owe him a free year without us next year,” she joked. Three of her Democratic colleagues on the House Choice & Innovation committee, however, voted in favor of advancing the measure, joining 13 Republicans. One other Democrat, Rep. Kevin Chambliss, voted against it. Florida Rep. Susan Valdés, D-Tampa, who expressed concern about children’s safety on the job, nonetheless concluded that she has hope her issues with the legislation will be “resolved” by way of amendments to the language of the bill ahead of its final passage. “I trust in the process,” she said. The proposed revision to child labor law is curiously tucked into legislation (SB 460/HB 917) that broadly aims to bolster student learner programs and recruitment opportunities for the trades in schools. Just a small section actually seeks to revise Florida’s child labor law, which already allows students who are enrolled in governmentapproved student programs to work on job sites that are otherwise deemed too hazardous. The state Department of Education’s Career and Technical education programs offer Florida students the opportunity to gain hands-on experience in the trades, develop skills, and even obtain industry certification ahead of graduation. This can be useful for students who can’t, or don’t wish to, pursue further education through a college or university.

OPTIMIST: Rep. Susan Valdés hopes her issues with the legislation will be ‘resolved’ by way of amendments.

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SHE’S LOVIN’ IT: Sen. Rosalind Osgood, D-Tamarac invoked a fast food chain in her support of the legislation.

COURTESY HEADSHOT

continued from page 23 roofs or in roofing operations, and that can happen on the ground.” She offered the example of a minor working as a materials handler, preparing hot tar. “You don’t have to be on the roof, but it’s still dangerous and it’s still prohibited by the federal Fair Labor Standards Act.” Both Senate and House bills contain certain safeguards: Older teens must obtain certification through a 10-hour OSHA training program to work in construction, and must also work under the supervision of an adult aged 21 or older with at least two years of work experience and the same OSHA certification. Opponents from Florida’s organized labor standpoint argue this is still insufficient. “These are very dangerous jobs,” Brian Nathan, a member of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers union, told House lawmakers. The OSHA10 certification, Nathan pointed out, is “basic” stuff. “Sixty dollars, two days, and I can have everyone in this room qualified,” he said. Moreover, data from the federal Bureau of Labor Statistics shows there is only one direct supervisor in Florida available for every seven

construction and extraction workers. Even Rep. Snyder, the bill sponsor, acknowledged there’s no guarantee that children on these sites would be supervised at all times. “There’s nothing in the language that says they have to have constant eyesight on them at all times,” he admitted, while maintaining that it would nonetheless be in the employer’s best interest to ensure the safety of their employees. Other Republican lawmakers, meanwhile, have at best, gaslighted critics. At worst, they have pointed to darker points in history, where children were shipped off to war, to dismiss voiced concerns about children’s safety. “To think that 70 years ago, we had 17-yearolds storming beaches in Normandy, but here today they can’t climb a six foot ladder,” said Rep. Spencer Roach, R-North Fort Myers, disbelievingly. “I think those concerns are wildly overblown.” Children, he added, are already well within their legal rights to climb on tall structures on playgrounds, like monkey-bars. “Maybe we need to pass some laws to protect these kids in those circumstances,” he quipped.

Rep. Nixon, the mother of a 16-year-old child, pointed out that children on playgrounds aren’t working for a wage. “It’s apples to oranges,” she said. “They don’t have metrics and deliverables and quotas that they have to meet in a timely manner.” Both House and Senate bills have so far received a single hearing. Although the Senate bill was scheduled to be heard by a committee on Wednesday, the bill’s cosponsor, Sen. Keith Perry, announced during the meeting the legislation was being temporarily postponed—without offering further explanation. Like the House version, Senate Bill 460 has also received a vote of support from a Democrat. Sen. Rosalind Osgood, D-Tamarac, joined Republicans last week in voting up the bill and in downplaying the potential dangers of minors employed in construction work. “There are many students working in McDonald’s,” Osgood said. “And being a former manager at McDonald’s for 12 years, I can tell you that it’s very dangerous with the equipment and the things that you have to do.”

FLORIDA NEWS

McDonald’s, however, isn’t exactly a gleaming example of what it looks like to follow child labor law. The Washington Post recently reported that the fast food industry has been fueling a surge in child labor violations. McDonald’s franchise locations, in particular, have been one of the worst offenders, averaging 15 violations per 100 stores since 2020, the Post found. Separate legislation filed in the Florida House (HB 49) and Senate (SB 1596), backed by the restaurant and tourism industries, would extend the number of hours older teens are allowed to work—permitting them to work more than 30 hours a week during the school year. That legislation, drafted by the right-wing Foundation for Government Accountability, is similarly gaining momentum in the state legislature. While the Senate version has yet to receive a hearing, the House version has cleared three committees and is headed to the House floor next week. Legislation must be approved by both chambers and Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis to become law. This post first appeared at our sibling publication, Orlando Weekly.

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Tampa Bay brewery among 2024 James Beard award semifinalists, plus more local food news. By Kyla Fields award ceremony in June will confirm if St. Pete’s Webb’s City Cellar brings the “Best Bar” dub home. Drew Brees-backed burger concept Smalls Sliders announces Tampa expansion As if Tampa Bay didn’t have enough burger concepts, another up-and-coming slider chain has announced its venture into Central Florida. Popular franchise operating group

Tampa, St. Petersburg, Clearwater, Lakeland, Spring Hill, Sarasota, Cape Coral and the greater Naples areas. Sliders, of course, are the star of its menu and can be upgraded with add-ons like bacon or extra meat. Other items include milkshakes, waffle fries, grilled cheese and a spicy queso dipping sauce. In addition to its fast casual menu, Smalls Sliders is also known for its unique, bright orange drive-thru buildings

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ne of the most (if not the most) prestigious accolades for up-and coming American chefs, bakers, sommeliers and restaurateurs around the country is a James Beard award—and the organization just announced its latest crop of semifinalists. Last week, The James Beard Foundation released 2024’s semifinalist list, but only one Tampa Bay concept made the cut. Webb’s City Cellar—Green Bench Brewing’s neighboring bar and tasting room in St. Pete—has been nominated for “Outstanding Bar.” Although Webb’s City Cellar is the only local James Beard semifinalist this year, a variety of bakeries, chefs and restaurants in other Florida cities made the cut, including Orlando’s contemporary Filipino eatery Kaya snagging a nomination for “Best New Restaurant” and Miami’s Zak the Baker up for “Best Bakery.” The entire 2024 “Restaurant and Chef Awards” semifinalist list can be browsed on jamesbeard.org, with a majority of Florida’s nominations located under “Best Chef: South.” The James Beard Foundation’s annual Restaurant and Chef Awards are organized into five separate recognition programs spanning every corner of the hospitality industry. The foundation launched these awards in 1990 to “recognize exceptional talent and achievement in the culinary arts, hospitality, media, and broader food system.” While Green Bench has maintained its reputation as one of Tampa Bay’s most popular breweries with its variety of widely-distributed craft beers, its sibling Webb’s is a low-key haunt with more specialized offerings. Green Bench Brewing started constructing Webb’s City Cellar at 1133 Baum Ave. N in 2018 and the tasting room, cellar and intimate event space made its debut a year later. Its team describes Webb’s City Cellar as “a space for our customers to explore new and otherwise unheard-of styles, with unique processes, and exceptional flavors.” While Green Bench focuses on its easysipping craft beer, Webb’s City specializes in mead, unique ales and other “mixed culture fermentation” beverages. Although receiving a nomination from the James Beard Foundation is in itself a highly sought-after accolade, its restaurant and chef

SUNSHINE CITY REPRESENT: Green Bench Brewing Co’s Webb’s City Cellar is up for a James Beard award. Purple Square Management (PSM) is bringing Smalls Sliders—a new, Louisiana-based burger chain—to the greater Tampa Bay area. A press release states that the group will debut the first local Smalls Sliders at the end of 2024, and is planning to open 8 more locations over the next few years. While no specific locations have been announced just yet, PSM is looking to open future Smalls Sliders in cities like

called “cans,” typically made from repurposed shipping containers. Purple Square Management is behind brands like Baskin Robbins, Dunkin Donuts, Popeyes, The Brass Tap and more. While there are no Smalls Sliders locations in the Sunshine State just yet, the company is working on opening three “cans” in Ocala, Panama City and Pensacola. “Florida is on track

to have a very strong Smalls Sliders footprint in the coming years, and there has been clear interest for our brand from prospective operators and local communities across the state,” Maria Rivera, CEO of Smalls Sliders, said in a press release. “Having the PSM team further their development agreement is a testament to the potential of Smalls Sliders, and we’re thrilled to have their team introduce our name to Tampa.” Smalls Sliders was founded by Brandon Landry and investor Drew Brees in 2019 and has rapidly expanded throughout its home state of Louisiana and beyond. Head to smallssliders.com to help prepare for its eventual Tampa Bay debut. Three Tampa Bay restaurants listed among Yelp’s 2024 ‘Top 100 Places to Eat’ in the U.S. Last week, Yelp released its annual list of the “Top 100 Places to Eat” in the nation, and three Tampa Bay restaurants made the cut. To come up with the list, the popular crowd-sourced review website says it reviewed user submissions, ratings, the overall number of reviews, and then finalized everything with their local “Community Managers.” In the end, Florida had 13 restaurants make the Top 100. Only California had more restaurants included on the list, with 18. The top ranking restaurant in Tampa Bay was Mio’s Grill & Cafe (119 2nd St. N) in St. Petersburg, which came in at No. 12 in the nation. “Don’t miss the “absolute fire” baba ganoush, “smooth and garlicky” hummus, “moist and flavorful” falafel, and “hands down the best” Greek salad in town,” said Yelp. This isn’t the first time Mio’s has made the Yelp Top 100 List. Last year, the Mediterranean spot was ranked No. 14. Bayshore Mediterranean Grill (6102 S MacDill Ave.) in Tampa also made the list, with a No. 75 ranking. And finally, out in Oldsmar, Shaker & Peel (3159 Curlew Rd) came in at No. 80. Head to cltampa.com/food-drink to check out Yelp’s entire list. —Colin Wolf Florida Cane Distillery has closed its Ybor City tasting room It’s no secret that Ybor City’s food and drink scene is constantly changing, but the bustling, continued on page 34

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Loafing granted the stamp of munchie-approval to last year. The Half Baked Potato is currently listed as “temporarily closed” on Google and its social media pages have already been switched to The Neon Lunchbox. After 13 years of hosting both local and national musicians, St. Pete’s beloved Hideaway Cafe closed its doors in late 2021 after the building’s landlord did not renew its lease and has remained empty until now. When The Neon Lunchbox makes its debut in a few months, it will join Tampa Bay’s other nostalgia-themed concepts like GenX Tavern, Central Avenue neighbor Lost & Found and 70s’-themed club Good Night John Boy. For the latest updates on Central Avenue’s latest concept, head to its new Instagram page at @theneonlunchbox. ICYMI • Local dough slingers Pete’s Bagels took to Instagram this week to announce its latest expansion plans, which include a larger production facility in St. Pete and a new pick-up window in Gulfport. Both its Gulfport and OG St. Pete shop will also boast coffee programs like its cafe in Ybor City. Pete’s Bagel’s has yet another new location on the horizon, a 326 square-foot drive-thru bagel shop that will soon open out of an historic gas station on the corner of 4th St S and 25th Ave. in The ‘Burg. • Ybor City’s Gasparilla Distillery & Cocktail Bar ( 2102 E 4th Ave.) celebrates its sixth anniversary next month with live music, an open bar with craft rums and vodka and “light snacks to help soak up the spirits.” Tickets to attend the distillery’s anniversary party on Saturday, Feb. 3 from 6 p.m.-9 p.m. run for $30 and can be purchased on eventbrite.com. • Wicked Sweet Boutique—a new bakery that specializes in loaded cupcakes, macarons, cookies, whoopie pies and cake pops—just celebrated its grand opening at 2209A E 7th Ave. in Ybor City. The New Hampshire -based business soft opened in December 2023 and is now open from 11 a.m.-7 p.m. on Wednesday and 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Thursday-Saturday. • Rene’s Mexican Kitchen hosts a multicourse Valentine’s dinner on Wednesday, Feb. 14 and its fine dining-style dishes are definitely one step up from its daily taco offerings. The specialty dinner features courses like creamy goat cheese and caviar tostaditas, carne seca and fideo soup, and beef filet mignon and bone marrow tacos. The dinner happens at Southern Brewery (4500 N Nebraska Ave.) and $85 tickets are now available on Eventbrite.com. • Gulfport’s historic Peninsula Inn at 2937 Beach Blvd. S has completed its extensive renovations and is now open as “Peninsula Bed & Cocktails.” The Gabber says that each one of the 16 rooms in the boutique hotel offers a different cocktail theme.

FOOD NEWS

The Neon Lunchbox, an ‘80s and ‘90s-themed bar, to open in St. Pete out of the former Hideaway Cafe As if millennials didn’t feel old enough, a new “retro-themed” bar and restaurant is bringing all of the fun, nostalgic vibes of the late-20th century to Central Avenue this year. According to St. Pete Rising, The Neon Lunchbox is slated to open at 1756 Central Ave. within the next few months and will soon boast a variety of themed craft cocktails, a casual food menu, local DJs and bands and tons of ‘80s and ‘90s pop culture-themed decor. James Castetter and Chelsey Andrew, the duo behind casual restaurant Half Baked Potato on the same block, is bringing this new millennial-friendly concept to St. Pete’s Grand Central District.SPR also says that Castetter and Andrew are looking for another lease for their potato-centric restaurant, which Creative

34 | FEBRUARY 01-07, 2024 | cltampabay.com

PETESGENERAL/FACEBOOK

continued from page 31 historic district unfortunately lost another mainstay last month. Florida Cane Distillery’s tasting room and bar located inside Ybor City’s historic El Encanto building at 1820 N 15th St. quietly closed its doors in mid-January. “The constant decline in Florida Tourism, coupled with the closing of so many other Ybor music venues/bars/restaurants and the recent shootings have pushed us to this decision,” the owners of The Florida Cane Distillery wrote on social media last week. “Although we are saddened by having to close to the public it’s been such a great joy to host all of you in our tasting room, on our behind-the-scenes tours, and hands-on whiskey classes—this was only possible because of your loyal support.” The Tampa-based spirits distributor debuted its Ybor City location—which it boasted as “Florida’s first vodka tasting room”—in 2012, mere months after launching its production space in Brandon. In addition to providing a laid-back environment to sip liquor and craft cocktails in, Florida Cane’s tasting room also provided tours of the distillery (complete with samples), organized events and themed game nights, and even hosted whiskey-making classes last year. The local distillery also produced loads of hand sanitizer for the greater Tampa area during 2020’s Covid-19 pandemic. Although its tasting room closed its doors in mid-January, its variety of Florida-made rums, gins and moonshines can be directly purchased from its website or from local retailers like Luekens Liquors and B21 Fine Wine and Spirits. Throughout the last decade or so, Florida Cane Distillery has created over 30 different spirits, often utilizing ingredients from the Sunshine State. For the latest news on Florida Cane Distillery, head to its Instagram at @floridacane or Facebook at @canevodka.

KEEP GRINDING: Pete’s Bagels is expanding its local footprint with a new production space and cafe.

tbbc.beer @tbbco #beerisyourfriend cltampabay.com | FEBRUARY 01-07, 2024 | 35

NOW AT THE DALÍ

Explore renowned French Impressionist paintings from the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston, alongside the early Salvador Dalí works they inspired. TheDali.org Horst P. Horst, Vogue © Condé Nast. Image Rights of Salvador Dalí reserved. Fundació Gala-Salvador Dalí, Figueres, 2022.

36 | FEBRUARY 01-07, 2024 | cltampabay.com

FILM & TV MOVIES

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What’s next

Students from Tampa Bay’s Eckerd College went to Sundance. By Christina Petersen “A Different Man” Another early A24 acquisition, this psychological thriller stars Sebastian Stan as an actor who undergoes surgery to acquire the face of his dreams but finds that this transformation is not all that it is cracked up to be. Renate Reinsve (“The Worst Person in the World”) co-stars in her English-language debut. “A New Kind of Wilderness” This World Cinema documentary explores a family’s shift from their previously “wild and free” lifestyle in an isolated Norwegian forest to adapt to modern society that reads like something than can only be stranger than fiction. “A Real Pain” The latest film from writer-director Jesse Eisenberg (“When You Finish Saving the World”) follows two cousins (Eisenberg and Kieran Culkin) as they travel through Poland to honor their grandmother. “As We Speak” Another take on contemporary rap, this documentary from writer-director

examination of sexuality and consent” within the context of female friendship. “I Saw the TV Glow” The latest surreal horror film from writer-director Jane Schoenbrun, whose “We’re All Going to the World’s Fair” turned heads at virtual Sundance in 2021, returns to the question of how youthful reality is mediated by screens. This film has already been picked up for distribution by A24 and boasts true indie star power with Justice Smith, Phoebe Bridgers, and Fred Durst starring and Emma Stone as producer. “Kneecap” Premiering the NEXT category which honors innovation in storytelling, this film presents the true story of Kneecap, a Northern Ireland rap group who became “unlikely figureheads of a civil rights movement to save their mother tongue.” “Little Death” The first feature from music video director Jack Begert is a dark comedy premiering in the NEXT section (which tells stories in new and innovative ways) about “Hollywood dreams and disappointments” in following a Los Angeles screenwriter (David Schwimmer) as he navigates a midlife crisis. The film promises “surreal montage and oddball AI animation” in conjunction with its familiar setting of contemporary show business.

SUNDANCE INSTITUTE

or over 20 years, faculty and students from Eckerd College have made the annual pilgrimage from sunny St. Petersburg to snowy Park City, Utah, to learn about the current landscape of independent film and blog about the experience. This year marked the first time we returned in-person after attending and covering the festival virtually in 2021 and 2022. The Sundance Film Festival, which marks its 40th edition this year, is the world’s premiere independent film festival where art and commerce meet and mingle and stories often not told by mainstream studios get to shine. This year’s festival ran Jan. 18-28 and repeats 2023’s hybrid format, with in-person screenings exclusively for the first week of the festival and then online access to selected films from Jan. 25-28. This year’s festival selection was highly competitive, with 17,000 films submitted for 83 feature and 52 short film spots. Ticket selection felt equally fierce as many in-person screenings sold-out within a day or two of when they went on sale in early January. Despite this appearance of high demand and supply, this was a pivotal year for Sundance and independent film in the post-pandemic mediascape. While streaming services like Netflix, Apple TV+, and Hulu have been a lifeline for independent film over the past few years, the rise of streaming as the predominant film experience for many viewers has also diminished the sense of urgency to attend in-person screenings and many small indies have gotten lost in the few years without the in-person buzz. At the same time, the opportunity to stream festival films within weeks or months of their premiere at festivals has made independent film more accessible than ever. What lies ahead for independent film? Sundance, as always, serves as that barometer. From Jan. 17-25, ten Eckerd students and two faculty members traveled to Sundance with plans report back about the buzz and vibe at this year’s festival, including what films and filmmakers to watch out for that may be coming to a theater or streaming service near you. Follow our coverage at Creative Loafing Tampa and at the Eckerd @ Sundance blog. Here’s a list of 10 titles we were excited for at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. Follow our coverage of this year’s festival here at Creative Loafing and at sundance.eckerd.edu.

J.M. Harper explores the weaponization of rap lyrics as evidence in criminal cases targeting Black artists and the implications for First Amendment rights of all. “Dìdi ” A 13-year-old Taiwanese American boy learns “how to skate, how to flirt, and how to love your mom” in the waning month of summer before high school. “Freaky Tales” The latest film from Ryan Fleck and Anna Boden (“Half Nelson”) is one of the buzziest films of this year’s festival. Bolstered by Pedro Pascal’s star power, this film features one of the most intriguing descriptions of the fest: “In 1987 Oakland, a mysterious force guides The Town’s underdogs in four interconnected tales: Teen punks defend their turf against Nazi skinheads, a rap duo battles for hip-hop immortality, a weary henchman gets a shot at redemption, and an NBA All-Star settles the score. Basically another day in the Bay.” “How to Have Sex” This debut feature from writer-director Molly Manning Walker comes with a few laurels already, including the Un Certain Regard Prize at Cannes. This coming-of-age film follows three British teenage girls on holiday in this “devastatingly honest

MUST-SEE CINEMA: Justice Smith (L) and Brigette Lundy-Paine in ‘I Saw the TV Glow.’

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By Josh Bradley & Ray Roa C CL Recommends

THU 01

C Davy DMX Like hip-hop itself, David Franklin Reeves Jr. was born in New York City. He made his name in Hollis, Queens first with Kurtis Blow’s backing band Orange Krush, but in a major way with his Oberheim DMX drum machine as producer and DJ for Blow, The Fat Boys and Run-DMC. While he’s got just one solo full-length (Davy’s Ride, 1987), the 63-year-old’s legacy and impact on rap music cannot be understated. He’s the special guest at this monthly in West Tampa, a classic Tampa neighborhood you can read more about on p. 13. (Whiskey & Rhythm, Tampa) C Highly Suspect w/Dead Poet Society After a hefty few years promoting its latest, ultra-raw album The Midnight Demon Club, Cape Cod rock band Highly Suspect appears to be winding down in 2024 for the most part. But not before playing a trio of in Florida shows, where the band’s first full-fledged, post-COVID run actually commenced in 2022, as a part of the inaugural Tampa version of Innings Fest. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg) C Joe Popp w/Dave Reeder/Jeremy Gloff Popp’s in a lot of headlines about him “coming home.” The songwriter was a Bay area scene champ in the ‘90s (and starred in a ‘96 Fox baseball commercial alongside MLB great Lenny Dykstra at the since closed Junction Pizza) and even wrote and produced musicals for Jobsite Theater. Cross your fingers for cuts from Popp’s eponymous trio or old punk band Dogs On Ice when he plays comes home again for a show alongside beloved songwriters Jeremy Gloff and Car Bomb Driver’s Dave Reeder. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa)

John Moreland

C Lucinda Williams The 70-year-old country-rock icon had a hell of a lineup on her latest album, Stories from a Rock n Roll Heart, her first since a 2020 stroke that robbed Williams of her ability to play guitar. Bruce Springsteen and Patti Scialfa provide backing vocals on lead single “New York Comeback,” while Steve Ferrone of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (whose final three shows Williams opened, merely a week before Petty’s sudden death) plays drums on the majority of tracks. Margo Price even makes two contributions, one in each half of the 10-track record. Williams will be leaning on her band, Buick 6 for all instrumentation, but don’t change the locks: It’s still a twoand-a-half-hour gig with her at the forefront. (Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater) Melody Trucks w/The Tony Tyler Band Usually, the only member of Allman Brothers drummer Butch Trucks’ family Tampa Bay gets to see headline a gig on a regular basis is his nephew Derek, when he’s playing alongside his wife in Tedeschi Trucks Band. But next Thursday, the late drummer’s daughter Melody—an acclaimed percussionist with her own dynamic stage presence—performs under the Skipperdome with her own ensemble. Don’t be surprised if Sarasota resident Berry Duane Oakley—a fellow Allman Brothers family member—shows up for a guest spot, or just to enjoy himself. (Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa)

ANGELINA CASTILLO

C Rock The Park Tampa: Florist w/The Easy Button/SV Noir The minds behind Curtis Hixon Park’s beloved Rock the Park series (ie. Brokenmold Entertainment) certainly know how to put together an eclectic, yet exciting lineup, and February’s installement is no different. Folks can enjoy the “heavy stoner psyche sounds” of Tampa’s own Florist alongside soothing R&B vocals from solo artist SV Noir and easy-listening pop rock from The Easy Button. And if these free local tunes make you hungry, you can always grab a plate from Jam Dish, a local Jamaican pop-up. (Curtis Hixon Park, Tampa)—KF What We Seek w/Royal Hearts/ Ceraburial/Scapeghost Orlando-based metalcore act What We Seek headlines

Bradenton’s go-to venue with support from post-hardcore band Royal Hearts, Brookesville’s Ceraburial and melodic pop punkers from The ‘Burg, Scapeghost. What We Seek is kicking off a multi-month run of shows throughout the southeast deemed “The Digital Damnation” tour, where fans will hear songs from its self-titled LP from 2022 and its latest single, 2023’s “Overcome.” While What We Seek’s Christian themes may be buried in its deeply melodic riffs and mid-song breakdowns, those themes are quite apparent in tracks like “Found My Way” and “Fire From God.” (Oscura, Bradenton)—KF

FRI 02

Dead on a Sunday w/Post Sex High/ Guilty By Design The musical project of Denverite Ross Ryan, who just wanted to sing in a rock band, was in no way intended to be a vocal tribute to Bob Belcher from “Bob’s Burgers.” His latest single “Nightmare” is basically a lament centered around how he never really asked to be alive, and how he hopes that everything we have endured in the last few years has just been a bad dream. As Ryan prepares to head overseas for a summer tour of Europe and the U.K., he plays four shows across the Sunshine State. (Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa) C Drake w/J Cole The rapper born Aubrey Graham announced the extension of his “It’s All A Blur Tour” after including just two summer dates in Miami on his 2023 run. There are five days between Champagne Papi’s first of two Tampa shows and the two Nashville stops on the run—and Amalie Arena didn’t have another event until the Feb. 5 Pantera show—so it was no surprise that hip-hop’s 37-year-old Peter Pan booked another show for Feb. 4. Cole, 38, appeared on Drake’s latest album, For All the Dogs, released in October, and welcomed Drizzy to his own Dreamville festival last April. (Amalie Arena, Tampa) C The Florida Orchestra: Rachmaninoff’s symphonic Dances & more Clearwater’s Episcopalian Church of the Ascension in the Harbor Oaks Residential District is approaching its 100th birthday, and the building with a carillon tower featuring 49 dutch bells hosts the first of the Florida Orchestra’s three weekend presentations of chamber version of Rachmaninoff’s complete symphonic dances, Debussy’s tone poem “Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun” and Paul Hindemith’s “Tuttifantchen Suite.” (Church of the Ascension, Clearwater) Holding Absence w/Casey/Capstan/ Acres Welsh rock outfit Holding Absence had a rough start to its first-ever run of headlining U.S. shows. Right after a gig in Mexico City, there were flight cancellations to face, and on top of that, the boys’ bandwagon broke down in a snowstorm on the way to their first stop of the tour in Seattle, essentially leaving them stranded. But everything has been on the up-and-up ever since

continued on page 48 42

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continued from page 47 41 the bedroom (“Uh Huh”) butted up against wild, sometimes experimental drum sounds (“Talk To Me Nice,” “Tightrope”). Jersey club queen Uniiqu3 (stylized “UNIIQU3”) brings her new single with Black Caviar (“Price Going Up”) to open thes show. (The Ritz, Ybor City)

SAT 03

Archers w/Savage Hands/Nerv/ Downpour As Archers approaches its 10th bandiversary, the Wisconsin, self-christened “softest bois in metalcore” have toyed around with contemporary rock, lo-fi chill, and in its latest single “Bitter” (a collaboration with Savage Hands), a crossover of hip-hop beats and screamo. Don’t be surprised if the two groups share the stage at Oscura this weekend for a live rendition of the new track. (Oscura, Bradenton)

NICE LIFE

C Go Ahead And Die w/Bodybox The Arizona-based metal trio—featuring Sepultura’s Max Cavalera and his son, Igor Amadeus Cavalera Jr.—released its second album last year (Unhealthy Mechanisms), which centers around the ongoing mental health crisis. “Tumors” talks about how an overload of toxicity and backstabbing needs to be removed before it can spread like cancer or a tumor, and “Drug-O-Cop” is the ultimate ACAB anthem. “I’ve always used my music to speak out against injustice, frustration, corruption. In my opinion, you wouldn’t have extreme-metal without punk, so why not mix the two together?” Max wrote in a statement. Orlando-based metal band Bodybox opens what appears to be Go Ahead And Die’s firstever show in Tampa. (Orpheum, Tampa)

Tinashe

said issues were solved. The band sold out two out of three California gigs (including a stop at one of its dream venues, Anaheim’s Chain Reaction), while continuing to get rave reviews for its latest album The Noble Art Of Self Destruction, and preparing for a European run with Pierce The Veil and Dayseeker this summer. (Orpheum, Tampa) Matisyahu w/Cydeways Strip away the layers and reveal your soul, because the reggae fusion icon born Matthew Miller—is bringing his new “Hold The Fire” tour with Cydeways to town. Expect a few choice words about the ongoing Israel-Hamas war from Miller, who recently performed as a part of a benefit concert in Israel, and has called out fellow performers who are staying quiet about the issue online out of fear of losing clout. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg)

C Dunedin Film Festival: ‘Larry’s Garage’ screening afterparty w/Richard Vasquez Dunedin Brewery’s Moon Tower has underground, community hub, vibes and this weekend it plays host to a $15 screening of Corrado Rizza’s 2019 documentary about Larry Levan and his Paradise Garage venue. Afterwards, Richard Vasquez—a lifer of the New York City, gay disco haven, who went on to drive Paradise successor the Garage—spins the no-cover afterparty which could end up being one of the best events of Dunedin Film Festival. (The Moon Tower at Dunedin Brewery, Dunedin)

Shinyribs Transit Damage, the latest album from blues singer-songwriter Shinyribs is a versatile collection that blends the soulful vocals of frontman Kevin Russell, frequent pop ups from a horn section, and lyrics mentioning reconsideration, humanity, and metaphors about love. Russell and his eight-piece repertoire kick off the weekend by taking over the Skipperdome ahead of a handful of summer festival dates across the country. (Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa) C Slick, Music, Movement: Leslie LaBarre w/Michael Hilton John Cage is often a gateway artist for folks interested in new music composition, and the American avant-garde composer’s music is part of the program (along with work by Vivian Fung and Anthony R. Green) for “Slick, Music, Movement.” The show, organized in part

42 | FEBRUARY 01-07, 2024 | cltampabay.com

by the Bay area’s Contemporary Art Music Project features Bay area composer Leslie La Barre performing her work, plus the USF Percussion Ensemble and its director Dr. Kevin von Kampen, all appearing after a preshow talk by engineer and scientist Michael Hilton, the mind behind interactive sound installation Slick (stylized “SLICK”.) (Barness Music Hall at University of South Florida School of Music, Tampa) C Tinashe w/Uniiqu3 With her old label (and its toxic collaborations) behind her, Tinashe Jorgensen Kachingw is on the upand-up. Her early independent releases (Songs For You, 333) found the 30-year-old experimenting with drum and bass, plus future-funk), and her latest (last year’s Bb/ Ang3l, stylized “BB/ANG3L”) is a short outing featuring streamlined, sexy R&B songs for

Human Error w/Send All/Plague Spitter/ Flag Burner Crusty thrash and hardcore always has something of a home at St. Petersburg’s enduring VFW Post 39, and it’ll pummel through an overworked PA once again when neighborhood band Human Error headlines a show alongside Send All, a Tampa band that stays rooted in punk while adding touches of hardcore and metal. A newish band of scene vets, Plague Spitter, rounds out the bill along with the live debut of Flag Burner (hope that goes over OK with the vets). (VFW Post 39, Tampa) C Tampa Jazz Club: Diego Figueiredo Seasoned Bay area jazz fans are familiar with Brazilian guitarist Diego Figueiredo, who’s a frequent visitor here. His virtuoustic blend of bossa nova, jazz and classical aesthetics has been the hallmark of his nearly two dozen albums as bandleader and even led genre icon George Benson to call the

SUN 04

C Dar Williams w/Susan Werner Williams might just be one of the most honest songwriters of all time, having previously written about Christians and Pagans dining together and wishing she got to have her way with a woman. On her latest album I’ll Meet You Here, the 56-year-old singer-songwriter accepts life and its adversities for what they are, while also taking an optimistic approach about aging really well, and asking time to be on her side. (Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater) C Surfer Joe From Sardinia to Liguria and even Tuscany, Italy has surf spots. So it only makes sense that it would have surf-rock, too. Lorenzo Valdambrini, from the Tuscan port city of Livorno has been a purveyor of it since 1995 and he’s 5,000 miles from home this weekend for a no-cover, soul food matinee where he’ll regale the crowd with stories but even more of the Golden State-inspired saltwater rock that’s earned him the unofficial title of “international surf music ambassador.” (Ella’s Americana Folk Art Cafe, Tampa) C Tanya Tucker Brandi Carlile has a thing for maintaining legend status in those who have struggled to remain constantly relevant. Country legend Tanya Tucker went through that in the 1980s, but came back stronger than ever, having even taken part in a classic country-drenched Super Bowl Halftime Show with The Judds, Clint Black, and Travis Tritt. Tucker’s latest release, Sweet Western Sound was produced by Carlile, and even has a few tracks written by her, as well as contributions from Bernie Taupin, Shooter Jennings, and the late Billy Joe Shaver. (Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater) C Tracy Shedd Wilmington is a great American city, and that’s thanks in part to Tracy Shedd, a Jacksonville expat who brought her own Fort Lowell Records imprint to the Tar Heel State. The songwriter’s latest, 2019’s The Carolinas, is complete with the indie-pop ear worms she’s known for, plus the influence her new home has had on her music. Shedd plays a no-cover, family friendly matinee inside Seminole Heights’ favorite record shop. (Microgroove, Tampa) Tunnel Vision w/Jayton Lening A little bit of St. Pete’s Reggae Rise Up is coming to downtown Tampa when the festival organizer teams up with Bay area promoter Aestheticized to bring Baja Bound ska-loving reggae-rock band Tunnel Vision to the Hive. Jayton Lening of Houston reggae-rock outfit Th3rd Coast Roots opens the show. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa)

MON 05

C Pantera w/Lamb of God Lead vocalist Philip H. Anselmo and bassist Rex Brown—both living members of the best-known lineup of Pantera that included the late Dimebag Darrell and his brother, Vinnie Paul—are still in the

band, and covering for the Abbotts are Ozzy guitar whiz Zakk Wylde, and longtime Anthrax drummer Charlie Benante. And as if the new all-star cast isn’t enough, Virginia-based metal outfit Lamb Of God open. While the Abbotts’ Damageplan played Ybor City’s Masquerade in 2004, this marks the first time that Pantera as a group has taken a stage in Tampa Bay since 1997, when it brought the “Great Southern Trendkill” tour to Expo Hall at the Florida State Fairgrounds, with Anthrax in tow. (Amalie Arena, Tampa)

TUE 06

Lyn Lapid Filipino-American songwriter Lyn Lapid first caught fire playing covers on social media. Now the 21-year-old is signed to Republic Records which hopes to capitalize on pop chops that have made Lapid one of the most Shazam-ed artists of the last few years. (Crowbar, Ybor City) Michael Feinstein The self-described “Ambassador of the Great American Songbook” will be saluting his old friend, Liza Minnelli with a set loaded with show tunes from the Broadway legend’s career. Minnelli even promoted this St. Pete gig on her Instagram (which she hardly ever posts to), so while a few health issues might make it unlikely, part of me wonders if she’ll fly into town to experience her 67-year-old crooner buddy from the audience. (Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg)

JACK CYMBRYLA

Grammy-nominee “one of the greatest guitarists I’ve seen in my whole life.” (Mainstage Theatre at Hillsborough Community College, Ybor City)

Keezie Free

The Remix: Keezie Free w/Tone I.E. Shuffle’s long-running Tuesday open mic has a new host (powerhouse singer-songwriter Tone I.E.), and this week, the showcase’s special guest is a multi-faceted artist who’s one of the more dynamic creatives in the local scene. (Shuffle, Tampa)

WED 07

Jay Day: A Tribute to J Dilla w/DJ Cub/ DJ Senoroteb/DJ Splitfoot James Dewitt Yancey died nearly two decades ago, but his outsized influence on hip-hop is still a hallmark of the genre’s most forward-thinking groups. For this no-cover tribute to icon best known as J Dilla, local DJs will spin his records, songs he sampled, and the music his brilliant mind borne—all while Hampton Station slings some oft he best pizza and beer in town. (Hampton Station, Tampa) See an extended listing—and submit to the CL concert calendar—via cltampa.com/music.

cltampabay.com | FEBRUARY 01-07, 2024 | 43

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CHARLOTTE RUTHERFORD

Twenty years after nipplegate, and fresh off a Britney Spears memoir that revealed candid details about their relationship, Justin Timberlake is plotting a return to touring. A new album, Everything I Thought It Was, is due in March, and he’ll be in Tampa Bay to play songs from it this summer. The 42-yearold Nsync frontman announced the tour on “The Tonight Show,” and has already released a new single, “Selfish.” Tickets to see Justin Timberlake play Amalie Arena in Tampa on Friday, June 14 go on sale to the public on Friday, Feb. 2 and start at $55. The only other Florida show on the show is in Miami on June 15. See Josh Bradley’s roundup of new concert announcements below.—Ray Roa

Punk Black Tampa: Pilot Jonez w/ Bangarang/Being Hvman/Lady Heroine/ Over Anna/Cozy In The Black/Lvrxox/ Hijas De La Muerte/Kid Loki Friday, Feb. 9. 7 p.m. $10. Crowbar, Ybor City Rudy Love & The Encore w/The Banned/Hibiscus/Nate Mosley Tuesday, Feb. 13. 7 p.m. $12. Crowbar, Ybor City Thelma and the Sleaze Wednesday, Feb. 21. 7 p.m. $12. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa Timeless Hip Hop: The Beatnuts w/ Craig G/Mr. Cheeks of the Lost Boyz/ MC Serch/DJ Sandman Wednesday, Feb. 21. 10 p.m. $25. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa Crystal Methyd Thursday, Feb. 22. 8 p.m. $30 & up. Orpheum, Tampa Jeff Brawer w/Marc Ganancias/Dan Padilla Thursday, Feb. 22. 7 p.m. Prices TBA. Hooch and Hive, Tampa Band Of Heathens w/The Teague Brothers Friday, Feb. 23. 8 p.m. $25. Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa Carbon Leaf w/Shaun Hopper Saturday, Feb. 24. 8 p.m. $25. Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa Codefendants w/Rutterkin/Dea & Saint/ Flag Burner Sunday, Feb. 25. 5 p.m. $17. Hooch and Hive, Tampa Ronnie Dee and Helios Jazz Orchestra Tuesday, Feb. 27. 7:30 p.m. $25 & up. Side Door at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg Twen w/TBA Wednesday, Feb. 28. 7 p.m. $12. Hooch and Hive, Tampa A Tom Petty Tribute: Steve Ferrone w/Vota Thursday, Feb. 29. 6:30 p.m. $18. Floridian Social, St. Petersburg Bob Dylan Tuesday-Wednesday, March 5-6. 8 p.m. $67.25 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater Mom Jeans w/Summer Salt/Hunny Sunday, March 10. 7 p.m. $35. The Ritz, Ybor City

The Jacksons Thursday, March 7. 8 p.m. $60. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa Super Indie All Stars Spring Break: Cannibal Kids w/Madwoman/Oceanic/ Pet Lizard Thursday, March 14. 8 p.m. $13. Crowbar, Ybor City Saxsquatch Wednesday, March 20. 8 p.m. $20. Crowbar, Ybor City Anthony Green w/Queen of Jeans Friday, March 22. 7 p.m. $25. Orpheum, Tampa

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Lime Cordiale Friday, March 22. 7 p.m. $25. Crowbar, Ybor City The Motet w/Lespecial Saturday, March 23. 8 p.m. $25. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Faye Webster w/Upchuck Tuesday, March 26. 8 p.m. $35 & up. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Juanes Tuesday, March 26. 8 p.m. $70. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa Sematary Wednesday, April 3. 7 p.m. $27.50. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Mac McAnally Thursday, April 4. 8 p.m. $44.50 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Alabama Friday, April 5. 7 p.m. $49.50 & up. The Sound, Clearwater Live Dead & Brothers: An All-Star Celebration of Grateful Dead & Allman Brothers Friday, April 5. 7 p.m. $27.50. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Al Jardine and his Endless Summer Band Saturday, April 6. 7 p.m. $59 & up. The Center of Anna Maria Island, Anna Maria Butcher Brown and Son Little Wednesday, April 10. 8 p.m. $25 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Snow Strippers w/Dres Friday, April 12. 7 p.m. $25. Crowbar, Ybor City

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The show: Every concert coming to Tampa Bay in 2024 Our weekly rundown of new concerts coming to Tampa Bay (aka “No Comps”) is useful cor concert junkies, but we’re introducing a new listing of every concert coming to Tampa Bay (that we know about). Josh Bradley compiles and curates this calendar for Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, so if you don’t see your show listed here, plus help us out by submitting your show to CL’s online calendar and then emailing josh@cltampa.com (with me, rroa@cltampa.com) on CC. Thanks for the support, Tampa Bay. Catch you at a show.—Ray Roa Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons Thursday, Feb. 8. 8 p.m. $125 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa

Lucinda Williams

Militarie Gun w/Pool Kids/Spiritual Cramp/Death Lens Thursday, Feb. 8. 6 p.m. $18. Crowbar, Ybor City Tower of Power Thursday, Feb. 8. 8 p.m. $49.25 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater

Silent Planet w/Thornhill/Aviana/Johnny Booth Friday, Feb. 9. 6 p.m. $22. Orpheum, Tampa DANNY CLINCH

Willie Nelson & Family Saturday, Feb. 10. 7:30 p.m. $54.50 & up. The Sound, Clearwater Beartooth w/The Plot in You/Invent Animate/Sleep Theory Sunday, Feb. 11. 6:30 p.m. $34.50 & up. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Highly Suspect w/Dead Poet Society Thursday, Feb. 1. 8 p.m. $35. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Lucinda Williams Thursday, Feb. 1. 8 p.m. $49 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Drake w/J Cole Friday, Feb. 2 & Sunday, Feb. 4. 7 p.m. $85.75 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa Holding Absence w/Casey/Capstan/Acres Friday, Feb. 2. 6 p.m. $20. Orpheum, Tampa Matisyahu w/Cydeways Friday, Feb. 2. 8 p.m. $30. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Sasha Velour Friday, Feb. 2. 8 p.m. $49 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Tinashe Friday, Feb. 2. 7:30 p.m. $30 & up. The Ritz, Ybor City Go Ahead And Die w/Bodybox Saturday, Feb. 3. 6 p.m. $20. Orpheum, Tampa Mickey Guyton Saturday, Feb. 3. 8 p.m. $34.50 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Old Bones w/No. 9/Rosecold Saturday, Feb. 3. 7 p.m. $10. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa San Holo w/Droeloe/Oddkidout Saturday, Feb. 3. 7 p.m. $31.50 & up. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Dar Williams Sunday, Feb. 4. 7:30 p.m. $35 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater The Movement Sunday, Feb. 4. 6:30 p.m. $30. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Sevendust w/Static X/Dope/Lines of Loyalty Sunday, Feb. 4. 6:15 p.m. $40 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa

Boyz II Men Wednesday, Feb. 14. 8 p.m. $120 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa

Daddy’s Beemer w/Homemade Haircuts/ more TBA Saturday, Feb. 24. 8 p.m. $12. Hooch and Hive, Tampa

Gladys Knight Wednesday, Feb. 14. 8 p.m. $53 & up. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg

Drew & Ellie Holcomb Saturday, Feb. 24. 7:30 p.m. $29 & up. Polk Theater, Lakeland

Evan Dando w/Willy Mason Thursday, Feb. 15. 7 p.m. $25.50. Crowbar, Ybor City

Glenn Hughes w/Enuff Znuff/Bad Marriage Saturday, Feb. 24. 7 p.m. $15 & up. OCC Road House and Museum, Clearwater ISOxo Saturday, Feb. 24. 10 p.m. $35 & up. The Ritz, Ybor City

Gasparilla Music Festival: Young The Giant w/Louis The Child/Big Gigantic/ Lake Street Dive/Coin/Trevor Hall/ Digable Planets/Beach Weather/more Friday-Sunday, Feb. 16-18. 4 p.m. Friday, 1 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. $45 & up. Julian B. Lane Park, Tampa

Kidsgonemad Saturday, Feb. 24. 10 p.m. $35 & up. The Ritz, Ybor City Lettuce Saturday, Feb. 24. 8 p.m. $33. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Rod Stewart Friday, Feb. 16. 8 p.m. $275 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa Yvie Oddly Friday, Feb. 16. 8 p.m. $30 & up. Orpheum, Tampa Emo Nite Saturday, Feb. 17. 9 p.m. $17.50. The Ritz, Ybor City

Pantera w/Lamb of God Monday, Feb. 5. 7:00 p.m. $25.75 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa

Pink It Up: Saganaki Bomb Squad w/ Victims of Circumstance/Bargain Bin Heroes/Chilled Monkey Brains/The Brainiacs/69 Fingers/Monument Beach/ Skabortion Twins Saturday, Feb. 17. 7 p.m. $7. Crowbar, Ybor City

Ericdoa w/Bixby/more TBA Wednesday, Feb. 7. 7 p.m. $23. Orpheum, Tampa Gaelic Storm Wednesday, Feb. 7. 8 p.m. $29.50 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

John Lodge Tuesday, Feb. 27. 8 p.m. $39.50 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Rodney Crowell Wednesday, Feb. 28. 8 p.m. $55 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Jimmy Sturr and his Orchestra Thursday, Feb. 29. 10:30 a.m. Free with admission. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City

Chris Botti Sunday, Feb. 18. 7 p.m. $43.25 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater

Great Lake Swimmers w/Clem Snide Tuesday, Feb. 20. 8 p.m. $25 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

Night Child w/Offerings/Fjshwife Saturday, Feb. 24. 7 p.m. $10. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa

Hiss Golden Messenger w/Color Green Monday, Feb. 26. 7 p.m. $25. Crowbar, Ybor City

North Mississippi Allstars Saturday, Feb. 17. 7 p.m. $22.50. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Deadmau5 Sunday, Feb. 18. 11 a.m. Prices TBA. Hard Rock Event Center Pool at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa

Nickel Creek Saturday, Feb. 24. 8 p.m. $38.75 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater

Geoff Tate & Adrian Vandenberg Monday, Feb. 26. 8 p.m. $29 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

Tunnel Vision w/Jayton Lening Sunday, Feb. 4. 6 p.m. $15. Hooch and Hive, Tampa

Michael Feinstein Tuesday, Feb. 6. 8 p.m. $43 & up. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg

The Return of Emerson, Lake, and Palmer Friday, Feb. 23. 8 p.m. $35 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater

Billy Joel w/Sting Saturday Feb. 24. 7 p.m. Prices TBA. Raymond James Stadium, Tampa

Tracy Shedd Sunday, Feb. 4. 5 p.m. No cover. Microgroove, Tampa

Lyn Lapid Tuesday, Feb. 6. 8 p.m. $22 & up. Crowbar, Ybor City

JP Saxe Friday, Feb. 23. 7 p.m. Prices TBA. Orpheum, Tampa

Destin Conrad w/Amaria Tuesday, Feb. 13. 7 p.m. $27.50. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Judy Kuhn Saturday, Feb. 17. 8 p.m. $29.50 & up. Central Park Performing Arts Center, Largo

Aaron Lewis Tuesday-Wednesday, Feb. 6-7. 8 p.m. $80 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa

Drake White w/TBA Thursday, Feb. 22. 7 p.m. $25. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Ripe Friday, Feb. 23. 8 p.m. $20. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Diana Krall Friday, Feb. 16. 8 p.m. $58.25 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater

Crypta Sunday, Feb. 4. 7 p.m. $20. Orpheum, Tampa

Twin Temple w/Vows Wednesday, Feb. 21. 7 p.m. $21.50. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Arden Jones w/Ty2Fly Thursday, Feb. 22. 7 p.m. $16. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa

Level Up w/GorillaT/Myr Friday, Feb. 9. 10 p.m. $15. The Ritz, Ybor City

February

William Elliott Whitmore w/Noan Partly Tuesday, Feb. 20. 7 p.m. $20. Hooch and Hive, Tampa Spyro Gyra w/Jeff Lorber Fusion Wednesday-Thursday, Feb. 21-22. 8 p.m. $40 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

The Oak Ridge Boys Thursday, Feb. 29. 3:30 p.m. $35. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City Oliver Anthony Thursday, Feb. 29. 7:30 p.m. $35. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City

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Paul Anka Friday, March 8. 8 p.m. $59 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater

Snow Strippers

Dave Shawty w/Yungster Jack/Caspr/ Bear1Boss/Bbygoyard/Scumbag Wrld/ Kent Loon/Smokingskul/more Saturday, March 9. 5 p.m. $36. 1920, Ybor City

Kelsy Karter & The Heroines Thursday, March 21. 8 p.m. $15 & up. Hooch and Hive, Tampa

Flo Rida Saturday, March 9. 7:30 p.m. $50. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City

My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult w/Adult./ Kanga Thursday, March 21. 7 p.m. $29.50. Orpheum, Tampa

MB TOURING

Jo Dee Messina Saturday, March 9. 3:30 p.m. $30. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City The Lords of 52nd Street Saturday, March 9. 8 p.m. $32 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

Doo-Wop Reunion XXII: Little Anthony & The Music/The Coasters/The Duprees/ Joey Dee Sunday, March 10. 5 p.m. $49 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater Enrique Iglesias w/Ricky Martin/Pitbull Sunday, March 10. 7 p.m. $56.20 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa Nick Shoulders and The Okay Crawdad Sunday, March 10. 7 p.m. $20. Crowbar, Ybor City

March Ash Friday, March 1. 8 p.m. $25. Crowbar, Ybor City The Beach Boys Friday, March 1. 3:30 p.m. $45. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City Jordan Davis Friday, March 1. 7:30 p.m. $55. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City Stars of the Sixties: Herman’s Hermits starring Peter Noone w/The Lovin’ Spoonful/Bobby Miranda/Chris Ruggiero Friday, March 1. 7:30 p.m. $46 & up. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg Black Eyed Peas Saturday, March 2. 7:30 p.m. $65. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City

Parker McCollum Sunday, March 3. 7:30 p.m. $65. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City The Bellamy Brothers Monday, March 4. 3:30 p.m. $25. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City ZZ Top Monday, March 4. 7:30 p.m. $55. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City Mark Lowry Tuesday, March 5. 3:30 p.m. $30. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City Zach Williams Tuesday, March 5. 7:30 p.m. $40. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City Craig Morgan Wednesday, March 6. 3:30 p.m. $35. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City Riley Green Wednesday, March 6. 7:30 p.m. $50. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City

Celtic Woman Saturday, March 2. 8 p.m. $63 & up. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg

1K Phew Thursday, March 7. 8 p.m. $20 & up. Crowbar, Ybor City

Dadi Freyr Saturday, March 2. 7 p.m. $27.50. Orpheum, Tampa

Bill Haley Jr. and The Comets Thursday, March 7. 10:30 a.m. Free with admission. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City

Dirtwire w/Entangled Mind Saturday, March 2. 8 p.m. $17. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa Sammy Rae & the Friends Saturday, March 2. 7 p.m. $30. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Gene Watson Thursday, March 7. 3:30 p.m. $25. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City Gino Vannelli Thursday, March 7. 8 p.m. $69 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

Burna Boy Monday, March 11. 7:30 p.m. $59.50 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa The Temptations w/The Four Tops Monday, March 11. 7:30 p.m. $45 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater Larry Fleet w/Dalton Dover Thursday, March 14. 8 p.m. $27. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Colin Hay Friday, March 15. 8 p.m. $39.50 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Godsmack w/Bastian da Cruz Friday, March 15. 8 p.m. $53 & up. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg Jared Petteys & The Headliners w/Little Sheeba and the Shamans/Skinny McGee Friday, March 15. 8 p.m. $15. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa Less Than Jake w/Strung Out/The Raging Nathans Friday, March 15. 7 p.m. $25. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Chasco Fiesta: The Marshall Tucker Band w/The Georgia Thunderbolts Friday, March 15. 7 p.m. $20 & up. Sims Park, New Port Richey Matt Maltese w/The Army, The Navy Friday, March 15. 8 p.m. Sold out. Crowbar, Ybor City

Kirk Franklin Thursday, March 7. 7:30 p.m. $45. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City

Tim McGraw w/Carley Pearce Friday, March 15. 7:30 p.m. $35.75 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa

The Stews Saturday, March 2. 8:45 p.m. $17. Crowbar, Ybor City

‘68 w/The Callous Daoboys/The Homeless Gospel Choir Friday, March 8. 7 p.m. $18. Orpheum, Tampa

Bryce Vine w/Hoodie Allen/Yoshi T Saturday, March 16. 8 p.m. $35 & up. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

William Black Saturday, March 2. 10 p.m. $15-$20. The Ritz, Ybor City

The Commodores Friday, March 8. 3:30 p.m. $35. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City

Joe Bonamassa Saturday, March 16. 7 p.m. $73.75 & up. The Sound, Clearwater

Ekkstacy w/Alexsucks Sunday, March 3. 7 p.m. $20. Crowbar, Ybor City

Foreigner Friday, March 8. 7:30 p.m. $55. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City

Grateful Dub w/Roots Of Creation/Dan Kelly Sunday, March 3. 7 p.m. $20. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Nems & Mac Lethal Friday, March 8. 7 p.m. $25. Crowbar, Ybor City

Maddie & Tae w/Wiley Fox Saturday, March 16. 7 p.m. $20 & up. Chasco Fiesta at Sims Park, New Port Richey

Steve Hackett Saturday, March 2. 8 p.m. $42.75 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater

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I Dont Know How But They Found Me w/ Benches Thursday, March 21. 7:30 p.m. $25. Crowbar, Ybor City

Extreme w/Living Colour Saturday, March 9. 7 p.m. $34.50 & up. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Cody Johnson Sunday, March 10. 7:30 p.m. $75. Florida Strawberry Festival, Plant City

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Carr/Jonathan McReynolds Saturday, March 16. 6:30 p.m. $35.75 & up. Yuengling Center, Tampa

One Hallelujah: Tasha Cobbs Leonard w/ Israel Houghton/Erica Campbell/Jekalyn

Pat Metheny Thursday, March 21. 8 p.m. $55 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Nicki Minaj Friday, March 22. 7 p.m. $TBA. Amway Center, Orlando Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in Concert Friday-Saturday, March 22-23. 7:30 p.m. Friday, 2 p.m. Saturday. $53.50 & up. Morsani Hall at the Straz Center, Tampa Air Supply w/Little River Band Saturday, March 23. 7 p.m. $45 & up. The Sound, Clearwater Cole Swindell Saturday, March 23. 6:30 p.m. Free with Valspar admission. Innisbrook Resort, Palm Harbor Taylor Dayne w/Tiffany Saturday, March 23. 8 p.m. $45 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Dave Mason’s Traffic Jam w/The Jimmy Hall Band Sunday & Monday, March 24 & 25. 7:30 p.m. $39 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Ministry w/Gary Numan/Front Line Assembly Sunday, March 24. 7 p.m. $39.50. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Joe Satriani & Steve Vai Monday, March 25. 7 p.m. $53.25 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater Juanes Wednesday, March 27. 8 p.m. $130 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa Sleepytime Gorilla Museum w/ Indorphine/Flagman Wednesday, March 27. 7 p.m. $25. Orpheum, Tampa Al Stewart & The Empty Pockets Friday, March 29. 8 p.m. $39.50 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater The Artimus Pyle Band Friday, March 29. 8 p.m. $34.50 & up. Central Park Performing Arts Center, Largo Descendents w/Circle Jerks/The Adolescents Friday, March 29. 7 p.m. $36.50. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

April Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox Wednesday, April 3. 8 p.m. $38.25 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater Teddy Swims Wednesday, April 3. 8 p.m. $70 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa Madonna Thursday, April 4. 7 p.m. $40 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa The Guess Who Friday, April 5. 8 p.m. $42.50 & up. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg Gregorian Saturday, April 6. 8 p.m. $40 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

Inzo w/Tape B/Hayz/Blookah Saturday, April 6. 7 p.m. $25. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Rising Appalachia Thursday, April 25. 7 p.m. $38. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Bad Bunny Tuesday, May 21. 8 p.m. $99.95 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa

Josiah and the Bonnevilles w/Mon Rovîa/ Abby Cates/Sydney Rose Saturday, April 6. 8 p.m. $15. Crowbar, Ybor City

Upon A Burning Body w/Vctms/The Browning/Hollo Front Thursday, April 25. 7 p.m. $20. Orpheum, Tampa

Madison Beer w/Upsahl Wednesday, May 22. 6:30 p.m. $40 & up. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Israel & NewBreed Sunday, April 7. 7 p.m. $33.50 & up. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg

Andrés Cepeda Friday, April 26. 7:30 p.m. $49.50 & up. Morsani Hall at Straz Center, Tampa

NF Friday, May 24. 8 p.m. $32 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa

Melissa Etheridge Thursday, April 11. 8 p.m. $95 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa Billy Strings Friday-Saturday, April 12-13. 7:30 p.m. $39.50 & up. Yuengling Center, Tampa Peekaboo w/Lyny Friday, April 12. 8 p.m. $25. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Snow Strippers w/Dres Friday, April 12. 7 p.m. $25. Crowbar, Ybor City Combichrist w/Dead Animal Assembly/ Plant Esoterik/Cultus Black Saturday, April 13. 7 p.m. $20. Crowbar, Ybor City Ian Munsick w/Meghan Patrick Saturday, April 13. 8 p.m. $30. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Los Lonely Boys Saturday, April 13. 8 p.m. $39 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Mitis Saturday, April 13. 10 p.m. $15. The Ritz, Ybor City Arm’s Length w/Carly Cosgrove/Ben Quad/Saturdays at Your Place Sunday, April 14. 7:30 p.m. $20. Orpheum, Tampa The Crane Wives Sunday, April 14. 7 p.m. $20. Crowbar, Ybor City Hot Mulligan w/Free Throw/Just Friends/ Charmer Monday, April 15. 7 p.m. $33. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Justin Hayward w/Mike Dawes Monday, April 15. 7:30 p.m. $49.50 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Billy Prine w/Scarlett Egan Thursday, April 18. 8 p.m. $35 & up. Murray Theatre at Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater The Brook & The Bluff Thursday, April 18. 8 p.m. $22.50. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg 98ROCKFEST: Staind w/Seether/Asking Alexandria/Dayseeker/Ayron Jones/ Austin Meade/Tim Montana/Sleep Theory Friday, April 19. 5:50 p.m. $35 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa Don Felder w/Pablo Cruise/Firefall Friday, April 19. 7 p.m. $38.75 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater Mo Lowda & The Humble w/The Bright Light Social Hour Friday, April 19. 7 p.m. $18. Floridian Social, St. Petersburg

Gloria Trevi w/Mar Saturday, April 20. 8 p.m. $35.75 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa Johnny Mathis Thursday, April 25. 8 p.m. $37 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater Mac McAnally Thursday, April 25. 8 p.m. $34.50 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

Born Of Osiris w/Attila/Traitors/ Extortionist/Not Enough Space Saturday, April 27. 5:30 p.m. $30 & up. The Ritz, Ybor City Mariah The Scientist Saturday, April 27. 7 p.m. $54, resale only. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg The Veronicas Sunday, April 28. 8 p.m. $34.50 & up. The Ritz, Ybor City The Wallflowers Sunday, April 28. 8 p.m. $49.50 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Wheeler Walker Jr. Sunday, April 28. 8 p.m. $40 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa See You Next Tuesday w/Mouthbreather/ Implosive Disgorgance/Thin Monday, April 29. 7 p.m. $17. Orpheum, Tampa

May Alvvays Wednesday, May 1. 8 p.m. $30. The Ritz, Ybor City Andy Frasco & The U.N. w/Dogs in a Pile Thursday, May 2. 8:30 p.m. $25. Crowbar, Ybor City Waxahatchee w/Good Morning Friday, May 3. 7 p.m. $27.50. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Chris Renzema Saturday, May 4. 8 p.m. $22 & up. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Taj Farrant Saturday, May 4. 7:30 p.m. $38.50. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

Niall Horan Friday, May 31. 7:30 p.m. Prices TBA. Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa Kane Brown w/Tyler Hubbard/Parmalee Friday-Saturday, May 31-June 1. 7 p.m. $46.20 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa

June Hauser Saturday, June 1. 8 p.m. $53.25 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater Happy Together Tour: The Turtles w/ Jay & The Americans/The Association/ Badfinger/The Vogues/The Cowsills Sunday, June 2. 7 p.m. $40 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater The Rolling Stones Monday, June 3. 8 p.m. Prices TBA. Camping World Stadium, Orlando Tyler Childers w/Valerie June/Willi Carlisle Wednesday, June 5. 7:30 p.m. Prices TBA. Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa Ocean Alley w/The Grogans Saturday, June 15. 6:30 p.m. $24.50 & up. The Ritz, Ybor City Melanie Martinez w/Beach Bunny/Sofia Isella Tuesday, June 18. 7 p.m. $45.75 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa

July

Third Eye Blind w/Yellowcard Thursday, July 25. 6:30 p.m. $49.40 & up. MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

August Taking Back Sunday w/Citizen Saturday, Aug. 3. 7 p.m. $79 & up. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Limp Bizkit w/Bones/N8noface/Corey Feldman/Riff Raff Wednesday, Aug. 7. 6:30 p.m. $54.35 & up. MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa Zach Bryan w/Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit/Levi Turner Wednesday, Aug. 14. 7 p.m. Prices TBA. Raymond James Stadium, Tampa Chicago w/Earth, Wind, and Fire Friday, Aug. 16. 7:30 p.m. $49.15 & up. Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

September

Luis Miguel Wednesday, June. 19. 7 p.m. $168 & up (resale only). Amalie Arena, Tampa

Jacob Collier w/Kimbra Monday, May 6. 7 p.m. $43 & up. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg

Styx w/Foreigner/John Waite Saturday, July 20. 6:45 p.m. $43 & up. MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

Thirty Seconds To Mars w/AFI/Poppy/ KennyHoopla Saturday, Aug. 24. 6:30 p.m. $51 & up. Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

Alanis Morissette w/Joan Jett and the Blackhearts Wednesday, June 19. 7 p.m. Prices TBA. Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

Red Hot Chili Peppers w/Ice Cube/ Irontom Friday, June 21. 7 p.m. $203.50 & up. MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

Queensrÿche w/Armored Saint Thursday, May 9. 8 p.m. $29.50. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

New Kids On The Block w/Paula Abdul/ DJ Jazzy Jeff Friday, July 19. 7 p.m. $54.80 & up. Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

Slater w/Tony Velour Saturday, May 25. 7 p.m. $15. Crowbar, Ybor City

Cattle Decapitation w/Carnifex/Rivers of Nihil/Humanity’s Last Breath/The Zenith Passage/Vitriol/Face Yourself Monday, May 6. 4:30 p.m. $35. Orpheum, Tampa

AJR Thursday, May 9. 7:30 p.m. Prices TBA. Amalie Arena, Tampa

Sammy Hagar w/Loverboy Sunday, July 14. 7 p.m. $48.65 & up. Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

Hootie and the Blowfish w/Collective Soul/Edwin McCain Thursday, Sept. 26. 7 p.m. $54.60 & up. Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

November O.A.R. Friday, Nov. 15. 7 p.m. $40 & up. The Sound, Clearwater

PVRIS w/Pale Waves/Bruses Monday, July 1. 6 p.m. $33. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Amy Grant Tuesday, Nov. 19. 7:30 p.m. $69.50 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

Melanie Martinez

Chris Stapleton w/Grace Potter/Nikki Lane Friday, May 10. 7 p.m. $191 & up. MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa Don McLean Saturday, May 11. 8 p.m. $49 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Hozier w/Allison Russell Saturday, May 11. 8 p.m. Prices TBA. Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

ATLANTIC RECORDS

The Evolution of Drag: Daphne Ferraro w/Chi Chi LaLique/Jocelyn Summers/ Kathryn Nevets/Kenya Black/ Conundrum/April Fresh/Jaeda Fuentes/ The Lady Janet/Imani Valentino/more Saturday, April 20. 8 p.m. $19.50 & up. Central Park Performing Arts Center, Largo

Flipturn w/The Hails Friday, April 26. 8 p.m. $25. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Morgan Wallen w/Jelly Roll/Nate Smith/ Bryan Martin Thursday, July 11. 6 p.m. $149 & up, resale only. Raymond James Stadium, Tampa

Amon Amarth w/Cannibal Corpse / Obituary/Frozen Soul Saturday, May 18. 6:30 p.m. $35.75 & up. Yuengling Center, Tampa The Beaches w/G Flip Saturday, May 18. 8 p.m. $25. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

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Micro nots By Dan Savage

I was seeing this guy for about four months. We were pretty much dating, doing all of the normal boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. Everything was going great up until last night when he told me he feels all of these feelings for me, but they don’t mean anything because he’s felt this same way about others, but nothing has ever worked out. He told me that whatever we have “isn’t enough.” I’m not sure what that even means. But last night he also told me that he loves me and yet he still left. I’m so confused. Do you have any insight?— What The Fuck Thank you for contacting Savage Love. Your question is very important to us and one of our representatives will be with you shortly. But first… Polyamory is having a moment. The New York Times, The New Yorker, New York Magazine, and The New York Post have all run

big stories about polyamorous relationships in the last two weeks. Hell, even the ladies on “The View” are arguing about it. The talk about polyamory has suddenly gotten so loud that some conservatives—not usually the kind of people prone to conspiratorial thinking (cough cough)—are convinced it’s a plot. “The memo has gone out,” Matt Walsh of The Daily Wire posted on Twitter last week. “This is the next frontier in the war on the nuclear family!” No memo went out, Matt, it was something far more banal. A book that came out: “More: A Memoir of Open Marriage” by Brooklyn-based writer Molly Roden Winter. There were press releases, not memos, and thanks to a big marketing push—a big and very successful

marketing push (congrats to the PR team at Penguin Random House!)—polyamory is suddenly everywhere. If I were a different sort of writer—if I had one self-promoting bone in my body—I might take a victory lap. I mean, I’ve been credited with helping to mainstream the conversation about ethically non-monogamous relationships; I’ve discussed the subject in my columns and podcasts, on “The View” and on the “Colbert Report.” But instead of claiming a share of the credit for polyamory’s breakthrough moment, I’m going to offer a little counterprogramming instead. While everyone else is talking about polyamorous relationships, I’m gonna talk about making monogamous relationships.

I’m not here to run them down, I’m here to make them a little more resilient—not resilient in the face of the polyamorous conspiracy that wasn’t, but resilient in the face of some deeply unhelpful bullshit monogamous people keep trying to make happen. I’m speaking, of course, of the concept of “micro-cheating.” If monogamous people are going to define cheating as unforgivable—and most monogamous people do—then monogamous people should really define cheating as narrowly as possible. That is if they want their marriages to be stable — which frankly, at this point, I’m not convinced they do. Which would explain why monogamous people have spent the last decade growing the continued on page 53

SAVAGE LOVE

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continued from page 51 list of what “counts” as cheating; everything from looking at porn to sending an ex a birthday text has had the “micro-cheating” slapped on it. If I were the conspiracy-minded type myself, if I were more of a Matt Walsh, I might see this sustained effort to make “micro-cheating” happen as a nefarious plot to undermine monogamous relationships. Anyway, while everyone was talking about polyamory this week, a memo went out—in the form of an Instagram post—Dr. Manahil Riaz, a sometimes couples counselor based in Texas: “21 examples of micro-cheating.” As a public service, I’m going to share Dr. Riaz’s list one-by-one and clarify what does and doesn’t count as cheating. I do this not to promote polyamory (because my work there is done), but to strengthen monogamy (because you people need all the help you can get).

their spouses to friends, coworkers, and couple’s counselors, the murder rate would skyrocket. (Here’s hoping Mrs. Matt Walsh has someone she can complain to about Mr. Matt Walsh.)

1. Secretly messaging someone. Not cheating. I mean, what if your spouse is secretly messaging your best friend about the surprise birthday party they’re hosting for your 40th? Sending furtive messages while your spouse is in the room is never a good idea, as doing so can arouse the kind of suspicions that might tempt an otherwise reasonable person to start snooping. But “secret messaging” is a broad and meaningless category and declaring it a form of cheating is an invitation to insecure, controlling, and abusive people to terrorize their partners over innocuous text messages. And for the record: people in relationships— even monogamously married ones—are allowed their own friends, a little privacy, stupid private jokes they share with those friends, etc.

5. Saying things like, “If I weren’t in a relationship…” Not cheating. Monogamous married people use this expression or one its many variations (“If I were single…” “If I were younger…”) to let someone know they’re unavailable. It’s a rejection wrapped in a compliment that may or may not be sincere, but it’s a rejection just the same.

2. Meeting with someone without you knowing. Not cheating. What if your husband is meeting up with your best friend to plan your surprise 40th birthday party? Or what if your current wife is meeting up with her ex-husband to discuss co-parenting and you have a history of melting down when they meet and so your wife decided to spare you the anxiety (and herself the stress) by not telling you about this meeting right away or at all? Yes, cheaters do meet up with affair partners without their partners knowing—that is definitely a thing that happens when people cheat—but like the previous example, no distinction is made between legit DL meetings and illicit DL meetings. 3. Complaining about you to another person. Not cheating! Also, what the actual fuck? According to Dr. Riaz’s website, she does couple’s counseling. Listening to people complain about their partners is literally her job. And I’m sorry, but if people weren’t allowed to complain about

4. Sharing knowing looks behind your back. Not cheating. Shooting someone a knowing look—pulling a Jim or a Pam—is how married people let third parties know 1. we’re aware our spouse is being unreasonable or ridiculous and 2. we will address it with them later. While a knowing sometimes says, “We’re totally having an affair and HA HA HA my husband is an IDIOT!” but more often than not a knowing looks says, “I know he’s being an asshole right now and I’m sorry about that.” (I expect Mrs. Matt Walsh uses the latter look a dozen or more times a day, and I hope she gets to use the former at least once in her life.)

listen to the “Piña Colada Song” on Spotify at least five times, then head home to discuss it.

abusive or controlling partners. Because who gets to decide what “special attention” means?

9. Trying to impress someone you have a crush on. Not cheating. Monogamously married people want the people they would fuck if they could fuck them—the people they would fuck if they were single and/or ethically non-monogamous— to think they’re cool. Everyone wants the people they think are hot to think they’re impressive. It’s a natural human impulse and, really, how are you supposed to correct for this? Go out of your way to be a disappointing asshole at all times? We all can’t be Matt Walsh.

18. Always commenting on and liking a different person’s pictures. Not cheating. I comment on and like my sister’s pictures all the time and I do not want to have an affair with my sister. If policing your spouse’s likes and comments makes you unhappy, maybe don’t police your partner’s likes and comments.

10. Sending someone photos of themselves to someone else. Not even grandma? 11. Discussing intimate desires with someone else. Not cheating. Women talk to their girlfriends about their intimate desires and men talk to their buddies about their intimate desires and monogamously-partnered people get on Reddit to brag or bullshit about their intimate desires. Feeling isolated in your relationship—being told you’re not allowed to talk to complain to anyone else about your relationship or discuss your intimate desires, fears, whatever— is one sign you may be in an abusive relationship. This is terrible advice.

SAVAGE LOVE

6. Maintaining contact with exes. Not cheating. Kids aren’t the only reason people sometimes remain in touch with their exes. Some people stay in touch with their exes because—and I hope you’re sitting down, Dr. Riaz—they actually like their exes. It’s not a bad sign when your partner is on friendly terms with an ex, it’s a good sign. People whose exes all hate them and want nothing to do with them are almost always awful; people who are too insecure to let their spouses remain in cordial contact with their exes are always assholes— and Dr. Riaz is essentially running interference for assholes by including this on her list. 7. Flirtatious joking. Not cheating. People in monogamous relationships sometimes wanna feel wanted—they wanna feel like they’ve still got it—and swapping a few flirtatious jokes with an attractive stranger or coworker or chatbot can meet that important need.

8. Creating a dating profile. OK, this one I’m willing to grant. But sometimes married people get on dating apps because they wanna feel wanted by someone else and they don’t actually plan on meeting up with anyone else, even if they are putting themselves in a position where they may be sorely tempted. If you find your spouse on a dating app, go for a walk around the block,

14. They follow inappropriate accounts on Instagram. Not cheating. Also, who gets to decide what’s inappropriate? 15. Giving their number to a stranger. Not cheating—sure, it could signal intent to cheat and/or lead to the kind of late-night sexting that results in cheating. But it could just signal intent to swap Wordle scores or memes. 16. Stalking a crush online. Stalking is a crime—no one should stalk anyone—but a monogamously-married person following someone they think is hot on Instagram is not stalking. They’re looking. And as monogamously-married people who got caught looking were fond of saying before this micro-cheating bullshit came along, “Hey, I’m married, not dead!” 17. Paying special attention to a particular person. Not cheating. Monogamously married people shouldn’t pay “special attention” to other people with their genitals. But the problem with this standard is the same as so many others on this list: It can easily be weaponized by

19. Hoping to make someone notice you in a romantic way. Not cheating. Hoping to be noticed ≠ intent to cheat; being noticed ≠ having cheated. Again, married people—even monogamously married people—are married, not dead. 20. Asking someone personal or inappropriate questions. Not cheating. And, again, isn’t this what a couple’s counselor does for a living? 21. Turning to someone else to get emotional needs met the relationship is in a rocky patch. NOT CHEATING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. If you can’t meet your spouse’s emotional needs for whatever reason—like you’re in a rocky patch—your spouse’s emotional needs don’t just disappear. I’m personally grateful to the people who were there for my husband and provided him with emotional support, i.e., met his emotional needs, when I couldn’t during some rocky patches of our long marriage. Thank you for your patience, WTF, here’s some advice for you from one of our specialists: You got dumped—which I think you know—and I’m very sorry about that. Getting dumped sucks, I realize, but most people get over it and you’ll probably get over it, too. And he was either lying about loving you when he broke up with you, which was cruel and disqualifying (you don’t want to date a guy like that), or he was telling the truth about loving you and broke up with you anyway, which was crazy and disqualifying (you don’t want to date a mess like that). P.S. I tweaked Dr. Riaz’s list for clarity. The original post—and Dr. Riaz’s defense of her list—can be found on Instagram (@ dr.manahilriaz). P.P.S. The shitty-couples-counselor-todivorce-court pipeline is real and it’s a bigger threat to the nuclear family—to all those monogamously married straight couples out there with kids—than a million features on polyamory ever could be. Maybe Matt Walsh should blow up about that instead. Got problems? Everyone does! Send your question to mailbox@savage.love! Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love.

cltampabay.com | FEBRUARY 01-07, 2024 | 53

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THE NEW FALL LINEUP

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about suicide. The Crisis Center of Tampa Bay is the community’s gateway to help, hope and healing. Last year alone, we assisted over 5,000 callers struggling with thoughts of suicide.

A: It’s not clear, is it? People of every income level, race, gender, sexuality, and religion think

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