Grub & Pub Report March 2018 by Grub and Pub Report

Ser ving W isconsin, Minnesota & B e y o n d !

Grub & Pub Report

Cover Photo by: Angie Linneman

T h e M a g a z i n e T h a t H e l p s Yo u L a u g h , T h i n k & Fe e l

GRUB & PUB REPORT PO BOX 473 CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI 54729

MARCH 2018

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March 2017 Cover Story Hear tland Enter tainment & Loyal Legion Post 175 Presents.. Jeffer y Broussard & the Creole Cowboys (See Page 2)

M A RCH 2 01 8 COV ER STO RY Heartland Entertainment along with the Loyal Legion Post 175 PRESENTS... Jeffery Broussard & the Creole Cowboys March 24th, 2018 Written By: Dyzzi Baker If you missed Mardi Gras again this year in Acadiana, Louisiana and are dying to hear some hot, foot stomping authentic Louisiana Creole, Cajun, Swamp Pop, and Zydeco music which has a fast tempo dominated by the button accordion, fiddle, rub board, drums and guitars to get you movin’ a little, get your dancing shoes and come see and enjoy the music of Jeffery Broussard & The Creole Cowboys who will be

performing at the Loyal Legion Post 175 in Loyal, WI on March 24th, 2018 at 7pm. If you are a dancer or love listening to the good stuff this is it folks as this music integrates the original sounds of Southwest Louisiana with waltzes, shuffles, and twosteps along with other styles all rolled into one great show! Heartland Entertainment is owned by Ken ‘Mac’ McEwen a Navy Veteran (1972-1978) originally from Duluth, Minnesota moved to Loyal, WI two years ago after touring the area on motorcycle and falling in love with the small towns of the area.

March 2018

Mac is a huge fan of original Southwest Louisiana music and decided to bring it to Loyal, WI for your enjoyment as well. Mac has a great interest in the entertaining sounds of the true Cajun ‘French Decent’ and Zydeco ‘African American decent’ music. Upon returning home from the Navy when he visited friends over the Mardi Gras season who were living in New Orleans he heard this original All Americana music and was caught up in it and wanted to learn more and more about its history and he started to purchase and listen to the music and learn more about it. He found that the music he liked best during his travels to Louisiana was from the Southwestern areas in towns around

Acadiana and different venues around the state. He started to share it in different venues around the states as he is an avid traveler to Louisiana for their great music, food, hospitality and his business of running shrimp from Louisiana to Minnesota called ‘Bayou Road Shrimp’. Jeffery Broussard was raised in

Frilot Cove, LA. His father, Delton Broussard, was a sharecropper and bandleader of Delton Broussard & the Lawtell Playboys and Jeffery grew up playing drums in his band. Over time he learned to play each of the other instruments in the band, and by his teenage years settled on the accordion as his favorite. His mother, Ethel Broussard, sang traditional Juré songs around the house. His parents only spoke French when they didn’t want Jeffery to understand them but, he learned it anyway and now sings the majority of his music in French.. “really there are not very many traditional musicians left. I am the only one besides Geno Delafose who is playing traditional Zydeco music. There are only five Creole fiddlers left…” “Music is a gift that God gave me to pass on. Music is in my genes, in my blood. I inherited it from my parents. I know nothing else better to do. It is a tradition that I have been in all of my life and I want to continue carrying my Daddy’s legacy. I do it because it’s something that I enjoy. I do it to make people happy, and myself. I don’t want our traditions to die”… . “I don’t only play music just to

play, I play from my heart. Half of the time when I’m playing, it’s like my hands leave my body, I don’t even know what I am playing. Any songs that I play, I add what I think will make the melody more beautiful. There’s a lot of me that goes into the music that I play.., One of the main reasons why I wanted my own band was to play traditional music. I love my music and I love my culture. I am proud and honored to be a part of it. By playing traditional music, that is my way of giving back to my community, to my culture, and to get others interested in the music, in other parts of the country, and to fulfill my Daddy’s dream” .. “I enjoy playing for the older folks because that’s where the music comes from, the older generation of Creoles. I hope to get more of the younger generation interested in our music and our culture, by sticking to our roots.” Jeffery Broussard (Continued on pg 13)

TABLE O F C ONTENTS : COVER STORY .........Jeffery Brousarrd & the Creole Cowboys performing at Loyal Legion......P. 2 READER COMMENTS.......N/A ....... GAME PAGES Crossword ....................... Pg. 4 Word Search..................... Pg. 5 .. Movie Ticket Trivia.............Pg. 5 Curvy Word Puzzle...........Pg. 34 Kakuro ............................Pg. 29 .Suduko Hard only.............Pg. 34 Games Answers.........Pg.36‐37 Answers New Horoscope...............Pg. 34 TYPO Contest : Rules & Winners ...........Pg. 4

Directory of Advertisers Pgs. 19 & 22 Directory of Advertisers Pg 19 & 22 Maps of Advertisers ..Pg. 20 21 Classified Section .......Pg. 36‐37 Subscription See Below ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Pg. 38‐39 COVER PHOTO BY: Angie Linneman

Submit Jokes, Letters, Subscription or Advertising Requests To: GNP REPORT P.O. Box 473 Chippewa Falls, WI 54729 Area Sales Representatives: **Call Dyzzi direct for any areas not listed by Sales Rep

Dyzzi Baker‐ (Owner) 715‐456‐7518 dyzzi42@yahoo.com Menomonie ‐ Downing, Osseo ‐ , Arcadia ‐ Strum, Melrose, Mindoro, Owen, Withee, Neillsville, Pray, Granton, Black River Falls

Keith Ewing ‐ 715‐ 404‐0885 (Bloomer ‐ Trego‐Hayward) Dan Callan ‐ 715‐495‐8091 (Eau Claire ‐Roberts) ST. CROIX VALLEY CONTACT Patricia Thatcher psthatch@q.com

Upcoming Cover Stories: -APRIL 2018 - Corral Bar-Durand, WI with Historical Find!! -MAY 2018 - tentative Hallie Golf - Lake Hallie

March 2018

Hello From Dyzzi! To take a heart and force it’s affection is a crime.. but to give your heart to someone of your own free will is a gift forever! Dyzzi Hello.. I hear spring whispering to me that it is finally on it’s way! Seems like it has been another long winter but we are almost through it and time to start thinking about spring car maintenence, spring clean-up (yes.. AGAIN!) For this reason some of our games show you different car parts you may want to become familiar with if you aren’t already. Knowing about your car (even..you ladies) is really important so that when you need repairs this spring or summer you can also find out general costs of fixing or replacing and also so that you can ask intelligent questions about your vehicle when you are experiencing some issues and not feel so totally in the dark. In this months issue you will also find out interesting places to visit in our beautiful sister state of Texas! since hurricane Harvey hit the Texas coast it has been very hard for residents and businesses as they are still in the midst of the destruction caused by flooding and high winds. There are still thousands of animals that were misplaced that need homes and people who need a helping hand either financially or with construction help or household items and clothing as many are living in their homes that they can not get funding to help fix the damages or replace normal household items like furniture, clothing, vehicles etc. It is for this reason that I encourage you to visit Texas on your next vacation.. maybe you could make it a working vacation and go volunteer to help out or perhaps help raise some money that could help families in need

or do a clothing and housewares foundraiser or adopt a pet.. cat, bird, dog, or even horses that have been thrust into the hands of whomever will care for them. St. Patrick’s Day is also on its way on March 17th and I hope that as you are all out and about drinking green beer and eating Corned Beef, Cabbage or Reubens that you will remember that the advertisers in the Grub & Pub Report invite you to come enjoy the day with them and I will express their sincere thanks ahead of time for your business. Not only does your patronage help keep our local bars, grills, taverns, restaurants and pubs in business but it helps keep the Grub & Pub Report coming out to these same locations for your reading pleasure! Please tell one of our advertisers today that you saw their ad in the Grub and Pub Report as this helps them when they are deciding where to spend their advertising dollars and that may help keep me in business as well. Thank you for doing this I appreciate it! You can also invite other business owners you know to advertise in the Grub and Pub Report as we accept all types of advertising and cover an area of about 100 in all four directions from Eau Claire, WI. We are also still hand delivered to our advertiser locations and you can get a subscription for your self mailed right to your door or give it as a gift to a friend or family member..

please see the left hand column .. bottom grey box for info on this and submitting jokes and stories. For March I have been thinking about my family history and heritage and wondering what percentage of Irish I am. I know I am a Heintz 57 as I call it and have a mix of Irish, Norwegians, Swedish, German and some Indian in my background but wouldn’t it be interesting to find out how much of each I (or you) are. I is said that we are related to everyone on the earth in some way and that within three people you know .... you have some kind of connection also to everyone on this earth. It is for this reason why discrimination makes no sense to me. We could be discriminating against someone related somehow through our families and how sad is that when we are just trying to live and have a comfortable life. This got me looking at the new technologies of DNA Testing. It is quite fascinating really and for as little as $69 and up to about $300 you can check percentages of lineage as well as regions your family mix comes from.. in some instances they can even find distant cousins and help with family tree locations. Check out these following websites if you are interested to know what you are really made of... all of which can be found online. *MyHeritage DNA, *Ancestory. com, *Living DNA Your Ancestory, *23and Me *Vitagene, *GPS Origins Happy ancestory hunting and let’s all remember.. One World, One Race.. Human.. One Family = Less Wars and Fighting & More Prosperity for all.

NOW... BOOKING FOR THE WINTER CANCUN AND DOMINICAN VACATIONS Go to..

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Typo Winner of the Month: The February 2018 Typo Contest winner is Jan Rousar of Haugen, WI who found the word “Fab” instead of “Feb”in the Slim Lake Hallie ad on page 10. She will receive $10 in GNP Bucks to use at any of our current advertiser locations. Thanks for reading and Congratulations! (THESE MAY TAKE UP TO 6 WEEKS TO RECEIVE) Send entries to: Dyzzi Enterprises PO Box 473 Chippewa Falls, WI 54729 or... Call - 715-456-7518 email: dyzzi42@yahoo.com

Cross Word Puzzle BONUS.. 2 CROSSWORDS FOR THE MONTH OF MARCH MADNESS!! ENJOY!

(Answers Pg 37 & 38) CAR PARTS YOU SHOULD KNOW

SEE PAGE 5 FOR ‘CAR PARTS YOU SHOULD KNOW’ CROSSWORD QUESTIONS. (right) SEE (below) FOR .. ST. PATRICK’S DAY CROSSWORD

TYPO CONTEST RULES:

- Only typos found in advertisements are eligible for prizes. -Typos in the articles are not part of the typo contest. -Typos in ads are the only typos considered for the contest. -Everyone who finds a typo in an advertisement whether it’s the correct typo or editorial mistake, will be entered into the contest. -You can call, e-mail or mail in your answers to the typo contest. See contact information on page three. -All guesses must be turned in by the 15th of the month. (Major Holiday months by the 13th.) -One winner will be drawn from all received answers on or about the 15th of the month. -Winners will receive a $10.00 in GnP Bucks to be used at current advertiser locations only.

March 2018

ST. PATRICK’S DAY

‘CAR PARTS YOU SHOULD KNOW’ CROSSWORD (left)

March 2018

Word Search Puzzle

(Answers Pg 36-37)

C H I P P E W A FA L L S PA G E JOIN US FOR ST. PATTY’S MARCH 17TH!

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COOKING CLASS One day during cooking class, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces. When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, "Now don't forget to use wooden spoons." As I stirred my sauce, I contemplated the physics behind the mystery of the wooden spoon and decided it must have something to do with heat conduction. I approached Mrs. Jones, . "Why wooden spoons?" I asked. "Because, she replied, "if I have to sit here listening to all your metal spoons banging against metal pots, I'd go nuts!"

IT COULD BE WORSE Two deputies in the Sheriff's Office, one who had been in town for ten years and the other who had just transferred, answered an emergency call. When they walked into the house, they found the nude bodies of a man and a woman in the bedroom. They had been shot to death. When they went to the living room, they found the body of a man with a gun at his side. "No doubt about it," the new deputy said, "This was a double murder and suicide. This guy came home and found his wife in bed with somebody else and shot them both. Then he shot himself." "You're right," the experienced deputy replied. "But I'll bet you when the sheriff gets here he's going to say, 'it could have been worse'." "No way. You're on." The old sheriff arrived at the scene. "No doubt about it," the sheriff said, shaking his head. "It was a double murder and suicide." After hesitating for a moment, the old sheriff looked his deputies in the eyes. "But, you know," he said, "it could have been worse." The deputy who had lost the bet jumped up and shouted, "Sheriff, how could it have been worse? There are three people in this

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March 2018

house, and all three of them are dead. It couldn't have been worse." "Yes, it could," the sheriff retorted. "You see that guy there on the floor? If he had come home yesterday, that would be me!" THE ISLAND A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you." "Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides

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and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, where did you get the tools?" "Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The guy is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the

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CHIPPEWA FALLS PAGE house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?" "No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet." No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now,

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something you've been longing for?" She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean . . he swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes." . . . "Don't tell me you've built a Golf Course!" BOB AND JIM Bob: "Holy crap, I just fell off a 50 foot ladder." Jim: "Oh my Goodness, are you okay?" Bob: "Yeah it's a good thing I fell off the first step." Q&A Q: Why did the fish blush? A: Because it saw the ocean's bottom.

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March 24th: Beersbee Tournament at 11 AM - 2 PM 2 person teams. $20 per entry COMING IN APRIL.. Hilarious Battle of the Sexes

FRIENDS.. My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.

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Q&A Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape? A: "Breathe, stupid!"

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March 2018

CHIPPEWA FALLS PAGE

Open 11am - Close Kitchen Open Till 10pm Phone: 715-723-2400 9504 County Hwy S, Chippewa Falls, WI WEEKLY FOOD SPECIALS: MON: All-You-Can-Eat Wings TUES: 2 for 1 Half Lb. Burgers WED: 1/2 Off Pizzas THURS: Italian Nite and Full Menu FRI: Fish Fry, Chicken & Ribs Buffet SAT: Prime Rib and Full Menu Sunday... Funday with Buckets of Beer FAST.. In & Out Lunch Buffet

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March 2018

March 2018 Cover Photo (Pictured Above) Taken By: Angie Linneman To contact Angie for photography work please email her at: gielinneman@gmail.com. ABOUT TEXAS Texas Independence Day commemorates the adoption of the Texas Declaration of Independence on March 2, 1836. This event marked Texas’ independence from Mexico. Sixty delegates from all over Texas signed the declaration. Its language in many ways parallels the 1776 Declaration of Independence of the United States, which is observed on Independence Day, also known as “the fourth of July”. The Republic of Texas was annexed to the US by joint resolution of the US Congress nine years after the Texas Declaration of Independence was signed. The US Congress then admitted Texas as a constituent state of the Union on December 29, 1845. Texas Independence Day is an official holiday in Texas. Sam Houston Day is also observed on March 2, marking the birthday of the man who led the Texans to victory over Mexican troops at the battle of

San Jacinto. Texas has various symbols such as the Bluebonnet (state flower), the Northern Mockingbird (state bird), and the horned lizard (state reptile). State historic sites include the Casa Navarro in San Antonio, Texas. It was the home of Tejano patriot Jose Antonio Navarro, who was influential in the fight for Texas’ independence. Another important site is the San Jacinto Monument in La Porte, Texas, which is built on the actual battleground where Texas won its independence from Mexico. SOURCE: https://www.timeanddate. co m/ holidays/us/texas-independence-day

UNLUCKY DRIVER A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition. "What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman. "Well, I guess I'm going to get a drivers license", he answered. "Oh, don't listen to him," said a woman in the passenger seat, "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk." Then the guy in the backseat said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car." At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

Student: "Homework!"..Ouch! BE THE BOSS A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," she said. "Go home and show her you're the boss." The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He went home, slammed the door, shook his hand in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?" "I certainly do," said his wife

TEACHER ASKS Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

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HAPPY HOUR TUE - FRI 2-6PM Phone: 715-720-0976 24 W. Spring St. Chippewa Falls, WI calmly, "the undertaker." DIFFICULT CASE Two psychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over a drink, one asked, "What was your most difficult case?" The other replied, "I had a patient who lived in a pure fantasy world. He believed that an uncle in South America was going to die and leave him a fortune. All day long he waited for a letter to arrive from an attorney. He never went out, he never did anything, he merely sat around and waited for this fantasy letter from this fantasy uncle. I worked with this man eight years." "What was the result?" "It was an eight-year struggle. Every day for eight years, but I finally cured him. And then that stupid letter arrived!" Q&A Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? A: Big hands.

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March 2018

TOO TIRED TO GO ON There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." She swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. The blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back. SIX FLAGS OVER TEXAS Source: themeparkreview Situated on 213 acres of land in Arlington Texas, this theme park is the state’s largest. It is also one of Texas’ most popular attractions and is home to the infamous Batman The Ride. There is something for all ages at the theme park including live shows paying hom-

age to the country music of Texas. GETTING OLDER Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too... I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?" The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?' To which the old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours." "Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth. Submitted By: Richard Anderson Q&A Q. How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "Man, I could do that!" CAT SCAN A woman said to her vet, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."

Phone: 715-723-7822 29 E. Park Ave. Chippewa Falls, WI OPEN: Tue - Fri 9a - CL Sa, Su & M Noon - CL Happy Hour: M-F 9a -11a & 3p -6p THE ALAMO -TEXAS Situated on the outskirts of San Antonio, The Alamo is one of the most important historic buildings in the USA. It was built by the Franciscans in 1744 and by 1834 it had been transformed into a fort. The Alamo was made famous when a small force barricaded themselves within during the Texan War of Independence in order to defend against a Mexican army of around 3,000 men. Nowadays, the site is visited by more than two million people annually.

DARTS - POOL GOLDEN TEE GOLF Happy Hour: 2-6p Daily 616 N. Bridge St. Chippewa Falls, WI Phone# 1-534-220-7027 Entertainment: March 24th: CHIPPEWA BAR OLYMPICS *Noon (6 Bars) *Live Music to follow @ Rookies !! March 31st: 2nd Xit Band 9-1 'FOUR' KARAOKE CONTEST (Runs Thursdays thru March 29th) Finalee: Thurs., Mar 29 9-1pm *DJ or Band Every Weekend *Karaoke Thursday Nights

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I'M THANKFUL I’m thankful for the wife who says it’s hot dogs tonight because she is home with me, and not out with someone else. For the husband who i on the sofa being a couch potato, because he is home with me and not out at the bars. For the teenager who is complaining about doing dishes because it means she is at home and not on the streets. The taxes I pay because it means I am employed. For the mess to clean after a party because it means I have

been surrounded by friends. For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat. For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine. For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, a driveway that needs shoveling and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home for all the complaining I hear about the government because it means we have freedom of speech For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because

Pit Stop The

Pub & Grub

120 Fleet St. Chippewa Falls, WI 715-861-2200 Open: Tues - Thurs 11a / Fri & Sat 10a / Sun 8a CATERING AVAILABLE FOR ALL OCCASIONS! Join Us For.. DINNER LUNCH SPECIALS: Tue: 16" Pizza (up to 4 toppings), St. Patrick’s Day! Garlic Bread Sticks, 1/2 Lb. Boneless CHECK OUT OUR Wings Only $19.95 MONTHLY SPECIAL SANDWed: 50 Cent wings (Bone in or out) WICHES!! Tues - Thurs: All-U-Can-Eat Homemade After Kitchen Closes Homemade 12" Pizzas Chicken Fritters & Fries Only $7.95 *Up to 5 toppings Thur: Double Up for a Buck Burgers or only $10 9pm - CL Southern Fried Chicken $8.95 BREAKFAST Fri: Fish Fry.. Cod Dinners; 1pc $7.50, 2 pc $9.75 (3rd piece for only $1.50 more) SUNDAYS 8-11AM (MealsIncl.mashedpotatoesorfries, corn, butter and biscuit ) FREE Breakfast (choice of 3) with any Sat & Sun: Fried 1/2 Chicken, Mashed Bloody Mary or Potato, Gravy, Veggie, Coleslaw, and Screw Driver Purchase! Buttered Bread Only $10.95, HAPPY HOUR: Sun - Thurs: Doug's Famous Chicken Fritters all-u-can-eat with your choice of sauces, M & T Double Up for a Buck fries, coleslaw & buttered bread $8.95 W & Thurs: 50¢ Off ALL Drinks

March 2018

CHIPPEWA FALLS - LAKE HALLIE PG. it means I am capable of walking and I have been blessed with transportation. For my huge heating bill because it means I am warm. For the lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means I can hear. For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear. For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been capable of working hard. For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means I am alive.. and I am thankful for the crazy people i work with because they make work interesting and fun! And finally I am thankful for the

tunes of text messages and emails I get everyday because it means I have friends who are thinking of me!! Submitted By: Beverly Nengas Via Online SAN ANTONIO RIVER WALK: TEXAS Source: Flickr This spectacular walk along the San Antonio River stretches for several miles and takes visitors right through the heart of the city, passing some of the best restaurants, shops and hotels along the way. The walk is worth undertaking twice, once at night and once in the day. It is positioned below street level and provides a unique way to see San Antonio for locals and tourists alike.

Slim’s

La k e H a lli e T a v e r n Enjoy.. Good Spirits, Food & Fun! 1979 Cty Hwy OO Chippewa Falls, WI (Lake Hallie) 715-832-9303

OPEN DAILY FOR BREAKFAST @ 6AM! Join us for Pub

Crawl

& St Patrick's Day Party at Slim's!

Check Out Our New Lunch & Food Specials

Judy's Mashed Potato's, Roast Beef & Gravy Served Daily!!

POOL TOURNAMENTS EVERY ‘Other’ Saturday! * TACO & TEQUILA Tuesdays: Enjoy camaraderie where everyone is welcome, and has a fun time!

Sunday card games coming up!

* Meat Raffle Wednesdays w/$1.50 Dom Beers $2 R rails * Sunday & Thursday

Ladies Night 1/2 price drinks 8p - CL

BROASTED CHICKEN & FRIDAY FISH PLATES ARE BACK!

NAME CHANGER Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for

Open Hours: Tue - Fri 1p - Cl Sat & Sun 11a-Cl

Wi Fi

Sorry.. Closed Mondays

See us on FACEBOOK @...

LindaandDansTCRoundabout

8685 St. Hwy 124 Chippewa

715-723-2709

ENTERTAINMENT: March 17th Twisted Rhythm 9-1 March 31st JFT Party Band 9-1 HAPPY HOUR TUES - FRI 50 Cents Off ALL Drinks 2-6p Sun & Tues Beer Buckets 5-4-$10 or 6-4-$12 SHAKE FOR A STEAK.. TUESDAYS! Wed: $1 Dom Mugs & FREE Pool $3 Cherry/ Jager Bombs Thur: $2 Leinies/Leinies Lt. Fri: Pizza & Beer Pitcher $15 Sa & Su $3.50 Bloodys 11a-2p

PACKER DAY SPECIAL Beer buckets 5-4-$10 or 6-4-$12. Free shot on Packer T.D.’s

March 2018

C H I P P E W A - L A K E H A L L I E PA G E trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes." HOUSTON SPACE CENTRE Source: Flickr The centre is home to Mission Control, where NASA monitors its manned flights into space. Visitors to the Space Centre are spoiled with a large array of artifacts including objects collected on the Apollo and Mercury missions and even have the chance to dress up as astronaut. INTERVIEW Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a

company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it." MATH PROBLEM Teacher: "If I gave you two cats and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven!" Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!" Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Lake Hallie Sportsman’s Club OPEN TO THE PUBLIC! Happy Hour: Mon - Fri 4:30pm - 6:30pm

ST. PAT’S DAY EVENTS Serving Reuben Melts 1pm till Gone.. Plus Join Our... Dublin O’ Pub Crawl in Hallie, WI (11am-5pm) T-Shirts available for $12, (Participating Bars: Lake Hallie Sportsman’s, Slim’s Lake Hallie, Tavern, Heartbreakers, Thirsty Badger, and Hallie Bar.

(All Pub Crawlers have chance to hop a bus after crawl to Wagner’s Lanes @ The Complex for the Taylor Farr Concert!! (Bus Ride & General Admission Ticket Only $20) 2910 109th St. Chippewa Falls, WI 715-726-1050 (Located Between Lake Hallie & the Chippewa River)

2588 Business Hwy 53 Lake Hallie, WI 715-723-0172 KITCHEN OPEN DAILY 11a - 2p & 5p - 9p FULL MENU & DAILY SPECIALS Monday Night Any 2 Menu Burgers $11.99 (Any 2 Burgers Off Menu)

Tuesday Night 6 Tacos Only $6.99 Wednesday Night All-U-Can-Eat Wings Only $9.99 (5p till Gone) Thursday Night 12 Inch Pizza (Up to 4 Toppings Only $5.99) Friday Night Buffet 5p - 9p Only $12.99 Sat & Sun Nights Whole Chicken w/ JoJo’s

(8pc) & Slaw $11.99 ENTERTAINMENT *Music Bingo: Feb 23rd (3rd Friday Monthly)

*Trivia: Fri., Feb. 9th (2nd Friday Monthly) SATURDAY, MARCH 31

SHOWTIME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING *Doors Open @ 6p Starts 7p Gen Ad $12 / Front Row $15

OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

BANQUET HALL.. 2 Large Halls Available for Booking Your Event! with BBQ Express Catering

E AU C L A I R E PA G E ONE WORD A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with

the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'" BETS Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in nine months." GYM SOUNDS BETTER Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.

VFW POST 7232 2900 W. Folsom St. Eau Claire, WI (715) 832- 3528

WiFi Available Here

SEE OUR FACEBOOK PAGE! Facebook.com/VFW Post 7232 Folsom Street

MARCH ENTERTAINMENT (Bands Runs 8p-12a Unless Specified)

3/3 - Homegrown Tomatoes / 3/9 - DJ 3/10 - 40 Fingers / 3/11 - Wayne Allen 4:00 to7:00 3/17 - St. Pat"s - Moonshine / 3/23 - DJ 3/24 - Nite Hawk / 3/30 - 4 Cast / 3/31 - Black Sheep OPEN: M - TH 6a-2a / Fri 6a-2:30a / Sat 7a-2:30a / Su 7a-2a

HAPPY HR- M - F: 6-10a & 4-6p / Sa & Su: 10a-Noon COME CHECK OUT OUR NEW MENU.. PREPARED SPECIALLY FOR YOU BY OUR NEW COOKS !! **Lot of our customers favorites also still on the menu!

BREAKFAST SERVED

Deb’s Homemade

7 Days A Week!

Sausage Gravy & Biscuits

Mon - Fri from 6 - 10a Sat & Sun 7-11am Coffee 75¢ w/Meal

March 2018

1/2 Order Only $3.25 HOMEMADE Lunch Special 11am - 2pm Friday Nite Fish FRY 4 - 7pm ONLY $6.75

Join Today to support the Blues in the Chippewa Valley and all around! www.chippewavalleyblues.com THE LAST WINS A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, "I want to be gorgeous." God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man's turn came, he laughed and said, "I would wish they were all ugly again but we are all beautiful in heaven!" WHATS GOOD Boy, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting to talk about over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone." LOCATIONS SOUND OFF A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

SLIGHT OF ..EYE.. In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

2007 3rd St. Eau Claire, WI 715.832.9508 OPEN DAILY 6a - CL Ultimate Bloody Mary Sundays 6a - 6p ** Only $5 Loaded!

JOIN US ON..

ST PATRICK'S DAY SATURDAY, MARCH 17TH FOR FUN & DRINK SPECIALS .. ENJOY OUR .. BLACK AND TANS ONLY $3.00 OR EXPLODE YOUR TASTE WITH AN IRISH CAR BOMB... JUST $4.00 “DON'T FORGET TO WEAR YOU "GREEN" Sundays: EMM Teas “Delicious!”6pm - CL $5 -EVERY THURSDAYFREE JUKE BOX MUSIC EVERYBODY WINS @ BIG T’S

M A RC H 201 8 C OVE R S TORY Heartland Entertainment along with the Loyal Legion Post 175 PRESENTS... Jeffery Broussard & the Creole Cowboys Written By: Dyzzi Baker Contin. from pg 13 You can also listen to this great music live on KBON 101.1 FM Radio in Eunice, Louisiana. Best radio station in the country! The station is owned by Paul Marx whose dream was to create a great radio station featuring the local and regional artists of Southwest Louisiana. KBON is Louisiana Proud! Join Mac of Heartland

Foster Bar & Grill Open Daily: Mon - Sun 10am Kitchen Till 12am

Sat., March 3rd.. Annual Pork Feed & Birthday Bash w/Winter Volleyball Tourney Call 715-828-7653 or Check our FB page for details! S12800 US Hwy 53 - Foster

715-597-6627

Saturday...

EAU CLAIRE - FOSTER- MENOMONIE

Louisiana. Also join Commander Dave Lucht, Manager Carl Becker and the members of the Loyal Legion Post 175 for these other great Entertainment at the Loyal Legion events at the Loyal Legion Post Post 175 Banquet Hall on March 175 in Loyal, WI; 24th, 2018 for the great sounds *Legion Post Meetings: 2nd and soul of Jeffery Broussard & Tuesday of each month in the banthe Creole Cowboys .. Doors open quet hall at 7:30pm, *all welcome at 4:30pm with concert starting at to apply for membership! *March 17th: IT’S A Loyal Legion Post 175 Color Guard PARTY!! Please help us celebrate the American Legions 99th birthday starting at 5:00 PM with Happy Hour from 5:00 6:00 PM and Dinner at 6:00 PM with Guest speakers from The Never 7pm. Seating is limited and Forgotten Honor Flight. tickets are only sold at the door so *March 25th – (the day after the come EARLY!! Cost is $15 per Jeffery Broussard & the Creole ticket. Let’s meet the band… Cowboys Concert) Legion Jeffery Broussard : Breakfast from 8am-12:30PM: Fiddle, Accordion, Vocals from Serving scrambled eggs, butterOpelousas, Louisiana milk pancakes, potato pancakes, (the Zydeco Capital of the World) applesauce and sausages. Please John Broussard: Bass Guitar from Mamou, Louisiana Jeffery Brossard Jr. : Rub Board from Lafayette, Louisiana D’Lalma Garnier the III: Loyal Legion Monthly Guitar from St. Martin Parish, Steak Feeds .. 3rd Monday! Louisiana Randy Jackson Jr.: plan to attend. It is a fund raiser Drums from Belle Rose, for the Post and the Ladies

Auxiliary. *Plus check out their.. Monthly Steak feeds the 3rd Monday of each month! Come and enjoy a scrumptious rib-eye or sirloin steak and salad bar! As of June 2016 the Loyal Legion has served 118,350 delicious steaks. Come in, buy your ticket, and place your order; It’s as simple as that.. Then

GIROLAMO’S COURT’n HOUSE

*Open Faced Hot Turkey or Hot Beef Sandwiches *Meat Loaf *Cod (Beer Battered or Baked) *1/4lb Cheeseburger & Fries *Chef Salad

NIGHTLY MARCH 17TH - ST. PATTY’S DAY Join Us for Yummy SPECIALS Corned Beef & Cabbage Sun - Sat 5 - 9p Starting @ 11am *20 Rotating Taps Available

(while supplies last) *Green Beer *DJ/Karaoke from 9:30-1:30pm 1113 W. Grand Ave. Eau Claire, WI 715-832-5478 Book Your Next Event @ Our SideBar on Grand!

March 2018

Loyal Legion Banquet Hall Open for Event Bookings!

715-235-1166 2100 Cty Rd. B Menomonie, WI (off I-94)

Open Daily 5am - Midnight SMALLER PORTIONS SMALLER PRICES! Served 11a - CL Sunday 4 -6p Mon. - Thurs.

Specials:

Your Choice Only $4.99

DOWNING - DURAND - ELMWOOD - ELSWORTH - WOODVILLE PG Open at 5am

Mark you calendars for 2018 Beatles on the Chippewa SUN May 6th! VISIT OUR NEW.. BANQUET HALL Schedule YOUR Event Today!

*Call us for more info. 318 W. Main St. Durand, WI (715)672-8874

& P i z za Plan et 2508 Hwy 12 - Woodville, WI 71 5 - 6 9 8-2 90 7 Open 7 Days a Week 11-2am MARCH EVENT SCHEDULE

FRI Mar 9 - Jeff Loven SUN Mar 25 Wing Competition w/live music by Trandy Blue SAT Mar 31 - Tim Sigler Stop in for one of our... DELICIOUS PIZZA'S!

MON & SAT: Free Pool FRI: Karaoke 9p-12a SUN: Happy Hour All Day! Happy Hour Mo - Th 8-10P -

Football Drink Specials 5 for 10$ Beers 5 for 12$ Rail

Join Us for.. Karaoke Every Friday Night at 9pm 305 W. Main St. Ellsworth, WI

715- 273 - 4223

March 2018

SPEEDING A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!" SISSY A young boy came home from school and told his mother, "I had a big fight with my classmate. He called me a sissy." The mother asked, "What did you do?" The boy replied, "I hit him with my purse!" THREE TREES AND A WOODPECKER Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into." Now wipe that smile off your face.

Sat., March 17th: Annual Tippy Cup Tourney & St. Pats Celebration 3 p.m. Serving.. Corned Beef & Cabbage

715-749-3891 112 W. Main St. Roberts, WI ‘Where Good Neighbors Meet’

Join Us at Sidetrack for Good Times!

THE AUDIT An old man is met by his attorney, and is told he is going to be audited. He rides to the IRS office with his attorney, and when he gets there, he begins to talk with the IRS agent. "I bet $2,000 I can bite my own eye!" The IRS agent agrees to the bet, believing it an impossible task. The old man laughs, pulls out his glass eye, and bites it. The IRS agent is dumbfounded. The old man bets $3,000 he can bite his other eye. The IRS agent knows there's no way possible to do this, so he once more agrees. The old man cackles, pulls out his dentures, and bites his eye. Then the old man finally wagers, "I bet $20,000 I can stand on the far side of your desk, pee over the desk, and get it into your wastebasket, without missing a single drop." The agent knows he won't be able to, so once more he agrees. The old man indeed misses,

peeing all over the desk, and on the paperwork. The IRS agent jumps for joy, but then notices the attorney over in the corner moaning. "Are you all right?" asks the agent. "No! On the way over here, he bet me $400,000 he could pee on your desk and you'd be happy about it!" STUMPING SATAN Three dead men go to hell at the same time. There is a white man, a Chinese man, and a Mexican man. Satan tells them that they can only leave hell if he can't do what they ask. The white man asks for the fastest sports car in the world; he goes to into hell. The Chinese man asks for the most advanced computer in the world; he goes into to hell. The Mexican man gets a glass soda bottle, farts into it, closes the lid, pokes many holes in the lid, and asks Satan which hole the fart came from. After pointing to every hole on the lid, the Mexican turns around,

Open 365 Days a Year Mon-Fri @ 11am Sat & Sun @ 8:30am Breakfast

Music Sat. Nites!

KITCHEN OPEN 11a - 10p Daily *Serving Appetizers till Closing We NEVER Close Early! Guaranteed Last Call Every Day!

B e s t F i s h Fr y A r o u n d T h e A r e a 1 1 a m t o 9 p m !

504 Main St. Downing, WI Phone# 715-265-7855

B L O O M E R PA G E

18982 State Hwy 124 Bloomer, WI

Phone# 715-288-6596

OPEN: Mon-Fri 11am-close Sat-Sun 10am-close Homemade Hot Beefs, Pizza & Deep Fried Items Available points at his butt hole, and says, "Nope, this one." PUT THIS GUY IN CHARGE No kidding, this guy has more smarts than all the people running this country put together !!!!!!! This was in the Waco Tribune Herald in Waco , TX on 11/18/10 Put me in charge of food stamps. I'd get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho's, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job. Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I'd do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then,

1319 Main St. Bloomer 715-568-5420 Open 7 Days A Week @ 11a

we'll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job. Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your "home" will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place. In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a "government" job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the "common good." Before you write that I've violated someone's rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would be "demeaning" and ruin their "self esteem," consider that it wasn't that long ago that taking someone else's money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem, AND living with someone and using their

government money was even worse. If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make mistakes and bad choices. Alfred W. Evans, Gatesville , TX AND while you are on Government subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes, that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from the voting rolls while you are receiving a Government welfare check. If you want to vote - get a job Submitted By Jerry Torkelson ABOUT TEXAS Texas is a state spanning an area larger than many countries. It covers an area larger than the UK, Germany, Netherlands and Belgium combined, has 367 miles of coastline and three mountain ranges top more than 7000ft. The Lone Star State spans from big city lights to desert canyons and allows visitors to experience endless fiestas in San Antonio or hike along the Rio Grande’s “Big Bend”. Big Bend National Park: SOURCE: imgur The name of this national park comes from the great bend in the

Open: M - F 6a - 6p Sa 7a - 2a & Sun 8a - 1p

March 2018

For ALL Your Agriculture Needs

22056 Cty. Hwy AA Bloomer, WI (Just 1 Mile East of the Pines Ballroom)

Owned by: Charles W. Rufledt Phone: 715-568-4643 Fax: 715-568-5643 Rio Grande river upon which it is located. The park occupies altitudes between 1,870 feet and 7,875 feet, making it a varied landscape for wildlife including bald eagles and over 1,000 varieties of plant. Within the park, visitors are able to trek over 200 miles of hiking trails and visit the parks three great canyons: the Mariscal, Boquillas, and Santa Elena Canyons. River trips can also be taken through the park and offer a truly memorable perspective of the area’s wild and rugged beauty.

Located on the Corner of Hwy 40 & 64 19037 State Hwy 40 **Bloomer, WI Phone# 715-568-4064

FREE BINGO .. EVERY Sunday Night @ 5p with.. Drink Specials & Prizes *MONDAY IS SLIDER NIGHT with $1 Burgers starts @ 4p

18 Hole Public Golf Course Wed: All-U-Can-Eat Wings Thurs: $2 Burgers & **Friday Night Fish Fry 5-9p

Check Out Our NEW...

XPEDITIONS COFFEE CO. & MARKET!

BLOOMER AGLIME SERVICES

WINTER ACTIVITIES Cribbage Tournaments Sun., Jan. 21st & Sun., Feb. 16th 2-person teams $20/team 12:30 start call ahead to sign-up

118 E 13th Ave, Bloomer, WI

Phone: 715-568-1743

MARCH 10TH 1-4pm BACK 40 BEER FEST *$20 Ticket / 13 Micro-Brewers Tickets at Back 40 or Eventbrite March 17th St. Patrick's Day Special: Corn Beef & Cabbage

HITTIN' THE NAIL ON THE HEAD ~ Bill Gates This should be posted in every school or kid's bedroom. Love him or hate him , he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates gave a speech at a High School about eleven (11) things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings

B & L LIQUOR STORE 1369 Main Street Houlton Wisconsin *Your FIRST Stop In Wisconsin Open 365 Days A Year! NEW HOURS M-W 1pm-8pm Th & F 9am-9pm Sa & Su 8am-9pm Phone: 715-549-6589 Best Selection of Fine Wines, Liquors & Specialty Beer in the Valley!

723 - 6th Street N. Hwy 35

North Hudson, WI 715.386.2205 O PEN Daily 7 AM-2AM **Full Menu/ Daily Specials Breakfast Daily

S T C R O I X VA L L E Y, W I - L A S V E G A S , N V PA G E created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world. Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it! Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both. Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. *This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: They called it opportunity.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. *Do that on your own time.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. Submitted By: James Boettiger- Chippewa Falls, WI GUADALUPE MOUNTAINS NATIONAL PARK: Source: fineartamerica Some of the most spectacular desert terrain can be found within the Guadalupe Mountains National Park located about 100 miles west of El Paso. Despite its hostile looking scenery, the park is home to a wide variety of wildlife and various areas of lush woodland and natural hot springs. The visitor centre in Pine Springs is a great place to pick up information on the parkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hiking and cycling trails.

*22 HD TVs /Gaming

50% off Select Bot. Of Wine - Wed

1801 E. Tropicana Ave. 702-736-6366 3050 E. Desert Inn Rd. 702-732-7373 5558 S. Boulder Hwy. 702-451-7357 Come Check Us Out

One Block North of 1-94 & MN 95 Lakeland MN 651.436.5005 Dining Hours: M-T 11a-9:30p W 11a-10p /Th 8a-10p /Fri 8a-10:30p Sa 7:30a-10:30p / Sun 7:30a-9p HAPPY HOUR: MON -FRI 3-6PM

New... Lombardi Room Non Smoking Featuring a 75â&#x20AC;? BIG Screen TV for your viewing pleasure!

Tues, March 6th Mouldy Figs 5-8!

March 2018

CHIPPEWA FALLS AREA MAP 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9

AD PAGE #

EAU CLAIRE/ALTOONA/FOSTER AREA MAP

1ST & GOAL SALOON .....................................................................9

BURLY’S BAR ..................................................................................9

LINDA & DANS T & C .................................................................... 11

FOUR CORNERS ......................................................................... N/A

LEROY’S BAR ...................................................................................9

SCHEMBODA'S ................................................................................6

29 E. PARK AVE. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-7822

GIROLAMO’S COURT N’ HOUSE .................................................. 14

113 W. GRAND AVE. EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 832-5478

BRICK HOUSE............................................................................... 14

2233 BIRCH ST., EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 832-6227

19 E. CANAL ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 720-9148

MORGAN MUSIC .......................................................................... 37

2405 E. CLAIREMONT AVE, EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 834-7177 www.morganmusiconline.com

8685 ST. HWY. 124, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-2709

ROLLY’S COACH CLUB ................................................................. 13

2339 SPOONER AVE. ALTOONA, WI • (715) 832-4120

14982 HWY S CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-6783

SPEED OF SOUND ........................................................................ 37

2113 BIRCH ST., EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 839-8021

24 WEST SPRING ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 720-0976 12942 100TH AVE. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-0131

CHEERS BAR & GRILL ....................................................................7

19845 HWY X, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 861-3223

DALE & MARY'S RITZ ON THE RIVER .............................................8

114 W. RIVER ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (534) 220-7020

WEST HILL BAR & GRILL ................................................................7

250 WEST ELM ST, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 720-9281

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VFW POST 305 ............................................................................. 13

1300 STARR AVE, EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 552-8438

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

10 11

400 CLUB ..................................................................................... 13

1411 SPOONER AVE., ALTOONA WI • (715) 834-6226

VFW POST 7232 ........................................................................... 12

2900 W. FOLSOM ST, EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 832-3528

THE EDGE PUB & EATERY..............................................................8

BIG T'S SALOON ............................................................................ 12

LOOPY’S ...........................................................................................7

FOSTER BAR ................................................................................. 14

WANDER INN ................................................................................ 10

GOLDEN SPIKE ............................................................................. 13

RIVER INN BAR & GRILL .................................................................6

16 19 20 22 23

9504 COUNTY HWY S., CHIPPEW FALL WI • (715) 723-2400

10691 90TH AVE. (BUS. 29) CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-5667 • www.723loop.com

6020 CTY RD X CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 874-5590

10418 CTY HWY X CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-9481

BRESINA'S BAR & RESTAURANT ...................................................6

HWY B TILDEN, WI • (715) 288-6303

312 N. BRIDGE, ST., CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-3800 405 GRAHAM AVE., EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 514-3110

ROOKIES PUB ..................................................................................9

616 N. BRIDGE ST., CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI 54729• (715) 220-7027

THE SNOUT SALOON .................................................................. N/A

13 W. CENTRAL STREET, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-4848

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

EAGLES CLUB AERIE 2213 ......................................................... 11 2588 U.S. HWY 53 LAKE HALLIE, WI • (715) 723-0172

2 3 5 6

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

LAKE HALLIE SPORTSMAN’S CLUB ............................................ 11

2910 109TH ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 726-1050

LAKE HALLIE GOLF COURSE ..........................................................8

2196 110TH ST, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 861-5442

TIM'S SLIM'S LAKE HALLIE TAVERN ........................................... 11

Y1979 CTY. HWY 00, CHIPPEWA FALLS (LAKE HALLIE), WI • (715) 832-9303

OUT OF STATE 1

2 3 4

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RUM RUNNER (MAIN LOCATION) ................................................ 18

1801 E. TROPICANA, LAS VEGAS NEVADA

12800 HWY. 53, OSSEO (FOSTER), WI • (715) 597-6627

228 DIVISION STREET, ALTOONA, WI • (715) 552-5526

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

EAST-CENTRAL AREA MAP

3D FITNESS................................................................................... 40

LAKE HALLIE AREA MAP 1

2007 3RD ST, EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 832-9508

7 14 16 17

19 23

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CORNER BAR.............................................................................. BAR N/A

200 N MAIN ST., MERRILLAN, WI • (715) 333-2028

NEILLSVILLE AMERICAN LEGION ................................................ 24

#6 BOON BLVD. NEILLSVILLE, WI • (715) 743-3859

BIG STREET BAR .......................................................................... 32

N3063 KING ST., HUMBIRD, WI • (715) 964-1401

OTTER LAKE BAIT ....................................................................... N/A

16488 CTH H STANLEY, WI • (715) 644-0609

BEHIND BARR'S ........................................................................... 23

N9302 CTY HWY G & O GREENWOOD, WI • (715) 267-6733

FUNTE'S BAR & GRILL ................................................................. 23

215 S. MAIN ST., GREENWOOD, WI • (715) 267-7599

DOC'S BUNKHOUSE ................................................................... N/A

N11702 ELKER RD, MERRILLAN, WI • (715) 964-8010 docsbunkhouse@gmail.com

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

LOW RIDERS TAVERN & PAVILION .............................................. 24

N2472 HWY 95, NEILLSVILLE, WI • (715) 743-2422

THE TWILITE ZONE ....................................................................... 23

309 N. BROADWAY STANLEY, WI • (715) 644-2340

DOUBLE D SALOON ...................................................................... 23

505 E. MURRAY ST. BOYD, WI • (715) 667-3441

DARLINGS GIFTS .......................................................................... 27

TOMMY'S HILLTOP........................................................................ 27

HWY. 10, OSSEO, WI • (715) 597-5683 & 51 S. HAZELHURST, WI • (715) 358-5683 W2860 US HWY 10, GRANTON, WI • (715) 238-7852

CALL DYZZI TO ADVERTISE IN ONE OF THESE PRIME SPOTS!

715.456.7518

Hudson

Elmwood

ing

Durand

170

D BB

170

Mondovi

3rd Ave.

4th Ave.

124

124 29

Owen

50th Ave.

Curtiss

124

Riplinger

Bruce

Greenwood K Loyal

Withee

Bloomer

Neillsville Boon Blvd. 2

Cameron

Ave. Grand 19 20 5 al Ave Centr 22 Chippewa Falls

10 m St El

Independence

Merrillan

Thorp

M N

3 Humbird

Fairchild

Rock Dam

16 9

Rice Lake

Chetek

Brill

Arcadia

Stanley

Colfax

Augusta

Boyd

Menomonie 22 25

Eau Galle

72 D

Bo yc ev ille

Tilden 100th Ave.

Wilson

1 D o

Glenwood City

Cadott

Dallas

Barron

Spooner

Main St.

121

Blair

Burr Oak

Mindoro

Baraboo

Humbird

5 11

4 12

Reedsburg

Spring Green

Black River Falls

Melrose

9 7

Alma Center

Fairchild

155

Northfield

Pigeon Falls

Ettrick

Jim Falls

Osseo

178

Tony

Cornell

Ladysmith

123

WI Dells Broadway

ing A ve.

Madison St.

Pray Rd.

Pray 1

E. Clairemont Ave

Hard

Pittsville

Mondovi

Folsom St.

Cornell

1 18

Golf Rd.

Eau Claire

Bus.

312 Bypass

Melby St.

30th Ave

Sheldon

Gilman

Hudson

Augusta

Bayport

Fall Creek

Wabasha, MN

27 Holcombe

Houlton

Conrath

Ladysmith

5 Spooner Ave. 10

Lake Hallie

- 53 Bus

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26 24 Osseo

ve. hA

100th Ave.

Fall Creek

12 Hammond Woodville Hersey

Ellsworth

Bayport, MN

Jim Falls

Webb Lake

250th St.

t 130

90th St.

Rudolph Rd.

Pearl St

10th St. W

Can al S t. Park Ave.

109th St.

3rd St.

110th St.

th S

Starr Ave

270

MENOMONIE AREA MAP 1 3 4 5 6 7 8

NORTHERN AREA MAP

AD PAGE #

PUMP HOUSE ............................................................................... 16

UP-CHUCK'S ................................................................................. 25

CORRAL BAR AND RIVERSIDE GRILL ......................................... 16

504 MAIN ST., DOWNING, WI • (715) 265-7855

120 W. MAIN ST., ARCADIA, WI 54612• 608-323-9907

318 W. MAIN ST., DURAND, WI • (715) 672-8874 www.corralbarandriversidegrill.com

THE HUB........................................................................................ 16

305 W. MAIN ST., ELLSWORTH, WI • (715) 273-4223

CLUB 10 ............................................................................................ 15

W4570 US HWY 10, DURAND, WI • (715) 672-5681

EXIT 45 RESTAURANT AND BAKERY .......................................... 14

2100 CTY RD. B, MENOMONIE, WI • (715) 235-1166

SIDETRACKS SALOON & GRILL ................................................... 16

112 W. MAIN ST., ROBERTS, WI 54023• www.sidetracksaloon.com

ROOSTER TAIL ............................................................................ N/A

106 W. MAIN ST., DURAND, WI • (715) 672-3640

BOO'Z BAR & GRILL ................................................................... N/A

414 MAIN STREET, KNAPP, WI • (715) 665-2215 www.facebook.com/BoozBarandGrill

4 6

9 10

RIVERVIEW LANES ....................................................................... 25

JAKE'S SUPPER CLUB.................................................................. 15

UNCLE SAMS ................................................................................ 25

CHERI & LARRY'S FOOLISH PLEASURE BAR ............................. 25

23 24

309 W. MAIN ST., ARCADIA, WI • (608) 323-7USA (7872) 114 - 5TH AVE. STRUM, WI • (715) 695-3687

DEAN & SUES BAR & GRILL ........................................................ 15

2002 MIDWAY RD., MENOMONIE, WI • (715) 235-9940

SOUTHERN AREA MAP 1

2 3 4

5 6 7 8

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BEV’S SADDLE MOUND TAP ........................................................ 35

N 8376 PRAY RD, PITTSVILLE, WI (IN PRAY A TOWN OF CITY POINT) • (715) 884-7355

RUMORS BAR............................................................................. N/A

N9261 ST. HWY 108, MINDORO, WI • (608) 857-3436

JOE & LINDA’S FIRST & LAST CHANCE....................................... 33

HWY 27 SOUTH BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-3121

SUNSET TAVERN ........................................................................... 39

32 34

1 5

N5890 HWY 54 BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-9345

KRAZY K'S SALOON ...................................................................... 29

15793 WEST 1ST ST. ETTRICK, WI • (608) 525-7171

CORNER PUB................................................................................ 29

22833 N. MAIN ST. ETTRICK, WI • (608) 525-4863

DWYER'S MY SECOND HOME ...................................................... 32

13272 MAIN ST., PIGEON FALLS, WI • (715) 983-5664

1 2 3

HIDEAWAY TAVERN .................................................................... N/A

COZY CORNER ............................................................................ N/A

16 17

BLOOMER MEMORIAL GOLF COURSE ....................................... 17

118 E. 13TH AVE., BLOOMER, WI • (715) 568-1743 2251 CTY SS, RICE LAKE, WI • 715-719-0669

CORNER PIT STOP........................................................................ 17

18982 STATE HWY 124, BLOOMER, WI • (715) 288-6596

LINCOLNWOOD RESORT BAR AND GRILL .................................. 30

N1075 EAST SIDE RD., BIRCHWOOD, WI • (715) 354-3533 www.lincolnwoodresort.com

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

SPIDER LAKE SALOON ............................................................... N/A

N2586 SPIDER LAKE TRAIL, BIRCHWOOD, WI • (715) 354-3723

WAGON WHEEL ............................................................................ 30 MAIN ST., BRILL, WI • (715) 234-1823

MICKEY'S ...................................................................................... 26

N5399 WALNUT ST, TONY, WI • (715) 532-7598

FIRESIDE BAR & GRILL ............................................................. N/A

W12745 FIRESIDE LAKE RD., NEW AUBURN WI• (715) 868-1172

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B & L LIQUOR STORE ................................................................... 18

1369 MAIN ST., HOULTON, WI • (715) 549-6589

THE BUNGALOW INN .................................................................... 18

1151 RIVERCREST RD N, LAKELAND, MN • (651) 436-5005

THE VILLAGE INN SPORTS BAR & GRILL .................................... 18

723 - 6TH ST. N., HWY. 35 HUDSON, WI • (715) 386-2205

WABASHA VFW POST 4086 ........................................................ 18

138 2ND ST. E., WABASHA, WI • (651) 565-4766

HOLCOMBE AREA MAP

HOOT'S ON THE WATER................................................................ 31

2091 22 1/2 AVE., RICE LAKE, WI • (715) 475-1300

DONNA K'S BAR & FAMILY DINER .............................................. 38

44 MAIN ST., BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 670-0303 www.facebook.com/Donna K's and Family Diner

MYSTIC GRILL............................................................................. N/A

23583 CTT GWT SSM BEW AYBYRB, WI • (715)0237-2500

ST. CROIX AREA MAP

FREDDIES ..................................................................................... 35

THE RUT ........................................................................................ 30

N705 COUNTY RD M, COUNTY ROAD D, SARONA, WI • (715) 354-3250

2883 17-3/4TH ST., RICE LAKE, WI • (715) 234-7339 www.shadyrest@centurytel.net

109 N. MAIN ST., ELMWOOD, WI • (715) 639-5000

E5690 CTY RD C, MENOMONIE, WI • (715) 235-2465

R-BAR & RED PINES CAMGROUND .............................................. N/A

1190 - 25TH ST. CAMERON, WI • (715) 859-6556

MIKE & ELLIE'S SHADY CAMPGROUND AND POOR FOLKS SALOON ......................................................... 31

HILLTOP BAR & GRILL ................................................................. 16

SOMERSET PUB ......................................................................... N/A

967 28 1/8 STREET #7, CHETEK, WI • (715) 859-2271

634 W. MAIN ST., ARCADIA WI • (608) 323-7005

XPEDITIONS ................................................................................. 17

1319 MAIN ST. BLOOMER, WI • (715) 568-5420

THE ADVENTURE .......................................................................... 31

KERNS KURBSIDE BAR & GRILL ................................................ 15

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

2508 HWY. 12, WOODVILLE, WI • (715) 698-2907

AD PAGE #

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

N 625 NORTH BEND DR., MELROSE, WI • (608) 488-5823

2625 HIDEAWAY DR., BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-2580 43 MAIN ST., BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-2651

BLACK RIVER POWER SPORTS ....www.blackriverpowersports.com ......... 39

W10120 STATE HWY 54 E., BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-2600 FAX (715) 284-2055

WAUGHTAL MOTOR SALES .......................................................... 37

7 9

206 N. WASHINGTON ST., MELROSE, WI • (608) 488-3911

JC’S PIZZA & PUB ........................................................................ 37

N378 ST HWY 108 MELROSE, WI *3 MILES S. OF MELROSE

BURR OAK AUTO BODY ................................................................ 37

W2606 DAVIS CREEK RD., MELROSE, WI • (608) 857-3880

18 19

AD PAGE #

BIG T'S NORTH ............................................................................. 29

116 MAIN ST., CORNELL, WI • (715) 239-6677

BIG SWEDES RESORT .................................................................. 29

840 HWY 27 HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 456-7518 • www.bigswedes.com

FLATER’S RESORT...................................................................... N/A

N270 CTY E. HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 595-4771 • ZZZ ÁDWHUVUHVRUW FRP

TJ'S TIMBERLINE ........................................................................ N/A

1189 N. POTATO LAKE, CHETEK, WI • (715) 353-2238

BOGIE'S BAR .............................................................................. N/A

HWY E, HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 595-4710

ENTWOOD GOLF COURSE............................................................ 28

28135 290TH AVE., HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 595-4035

JIMMY'S WORLD........................................................................... 26

N1745 RANGELINE RD., CONRATH, WI • (715) 532-0637 CELL (715) 403-3867

COOKIE'S HOLCOMBE INN .......................................................... 28

27575 -0263RD AVE., HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 595-4092

5TH QUARTER BAR ...................................................................... 28

108 W. MINER AVE., LADYSMITH, WI • (715) 532-7757

CHIPPEWA RIVER CAMPGROUND ............................................N/A

23780 STATE HWY. 178, CORNELL, WI

JIM'S SHADY NOOK ...................................................................... 28

16061 - 296TH ST, CORNELL, WI • (715) 667-3878

PEACOCK’S BAR & GRILL..........................................................N/A

W8380 COUNTY HWY D, CONRATH, WI • (715) 532-6888

S TA N L E Y - B OY D - G R E E N W O O D PA G E Open 7 Days A Week11am - CL

*Full Bar *Video Poker *Pool *Darts .. WiFi Available! Like Us on FB! 309 N. Broadway - Stanley, WI CLEAN CAN BE FUNNY JOKES COLLECTION 1. One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went golfing. 2. A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!

715-644-2340 Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them.. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.' 3. A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my Goodness! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'

Double D Saloon D Bar & Grill Open 7 Days A Week 10am - CL Homemade Pizza Fresh Daily

Friday Fish Fry

Join Our Pizza Club

All-U-Can-Eat WINGS

(Ask Bartender for Details)

Wed All Day & Night

Taco Tuesdays

Join Us For Great Food & Entertainment SATURDAYS - DJ / KARAOKE with Best Sound & Lights 9pm 505 E. Murray St. Boyd, WI

715-667-3441

Denny & Deb Zais Owners

March 2018

4. A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.' 5. Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap The Army has been looking

FUN TE’S

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Join Us For..Wraps, Salads, Burgers, Specialty Burgers & Homemade Pizza Happy Hour: Tues - Fri 3-6p HOURS: Tues - Fri: 11-CL, Sat: 1p - CL, Sorry Closed Mondays All Year

Tuesday 3pm - CL 5 shorties $5 & $2 burgers Bud & Bud Light for Herman for 51 years. Submitted By: Jeanne Pederson Hayward, WI MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus is the lamb of God, does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

Home of the ‘Breakfast’ Bloody Mary Served All Day Sat & Sun(s)

Stop in and check out our NEW MENU Items! STOP IN “Voted" Best Fish Fry" by our customers. Serving our Fabulous Fish Fry Fridays 11a-9p

Hours of Service: Open 6 Days A Week @ 11a CLOSED TUESDAYS Events in March Kitchen Open until 9pm St Patty's Day - Corned Beef n’ (Most Days) Cabbage (served 11am till gone) HAPPY HOUR: Lent Friday Specials.... 3-6pm *Monday - Thursday Our delicious Fish Fry (Located midway between Served every Friday 11am - 9pm Greenwood & Willard at the Stop in and try what everyone intersection of Cty Hwys G & O) is raving about

N9302 Cty Rd. O Greenwood, WI

Phone # 715-267-6733

- April 1 CLOSED EASTER SUNDAY

Home of the ‘Heated’ Toilet Paper!

N E I L L S V I L L E PA G E

Open at 10a *7 Days a Week HAPPY HOUR SU - TH 4-6P Sunday Loaded Bloody $4 All Day & Night (Homemade) JOIN US FOR ... ST. PATRICKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DAY! N272 Hwy 95 Neillsville, WI 715-743-2422 HISTORY LESSON Did you know the saying "God willing and the Creek don't rise" was in reference to the Creek Indians and not a body of water? It was written by Benjamin Hawkins in the late 18th century. He was a politician and Indian diplomat. While in the south,

Hawkins was requested by the President of the U.S. to return to Washington. In his response, he was said to write, "God willing and the Creek don't rise." Because he capitalized the word "Creek" it is deduced that he was referring to the Creek Indian tribe and not a body of water. In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are 'limbs,' therefore painting them would cost the

buyer more. Hence the expression, 'Okay, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg.' (Artists know hands and arms are more difficult to paint.) In Medieval times it was difficult to bathe and most did sponge baths or used swimming holes for bathing. Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool. They couldn't wash the wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term 'big wig.' Today we often use the term 'here comes the Big Wig' because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy. In the late 1700's, many houses

consisted of a large room with only one chair. Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall, and was used for dining. The 'head of the household' always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor. Occasionally a guest, who was usually a man, would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal. To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. They called the one sitting in the chair the 'chair man.' Today in business, we use the expression or title 'Chairman' or 'Chairman of the Board.' Personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each

Monthly Events & Extras

American Legion Post #73

MEETING DATES:

Monday, March 12 Steak Feed 1700-2000

#6 Boon Blvd. Neillsville, WI

-Legion &â&#x20AC;&#x2C6;Ladies Auxiliary 1st Monday Monthly 7pm

Sunday, March 25 Breakfast 0830-1200 WEEKLY SPECIALS: Lunch Mon - Fri 1100-1300 Every Wednesday 1100-1300 Steak Sandwich Special Fridays 1700-2000 Plated Meals Friday Nite Legion Dinner

w/ Hooves, Beaks, Scales & Tails 1700-2000

March 2018

(Just off Hwy 10) Phone: 715-743-3859

OPEN TO THE PUBLIC JOIN US!

- Sons of the American Legion 2nd Monday Monthly 8pm -VFW 2nd Tuesday 7pm

Large & Small Banquet & Meeting Rms Available for Meetings & Parties

Check it out...Drink Cards Get a punch your 2nd - 8th drinks and get your 9th drink free!

Weekly Events Drink Happy Mon - Fri 1600-1900 Mondays & Thursdays Sheepshead @ 12:30

ARCADIA - STRUM PG were told to go sip some ale and listen to people's conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. 'You go sip here' and 'You go sip there.' The two Call 4 Open Bowling Times words 'go sip' were eventually combined when referring to the Open:T - F @ 4p & Sat @ 3p local opinion and, thus we have Starting In October: Open M-F @4p & Sat @ 3p the term 'gossip.' At local taverns, pubs, and bars, other, if a woman began to stare at people drank from pint and quartanother woman's face she was sized containers. A bar maid's job told, 'mind your own bee's wax.' was to keep an eye on the Should the woman smile, the wax customers and keep the drinks would crack, hence the term 'crack coming. She had to pay close a smile'. In addition, when they sat attention and remember who was too close to the fire, the wax drinking in 'pints' and who was would melt . Therefore, the drinking in 'quarts,' hence the expression 'losing face.' phrase 'minding your 'P's and Q's'. Ladies wore corsets, which One more: bet you didn't know would lace up in the front. A this! proper and dignified woman, as in In the heyday of sailing ships, all 'straight laced' wore a tightly tied war ships and many freighters lace. carried iron cannons. Those Common entertainment included cannons fired round iron cannon playing cards. However, there balls. It was necessary to keep a was a tax levied when purchasing good supply near the cannon. playing cards, but only applicable However, how to prevent them to the 'Ace of Spades.' To avoid from rolling about the deck? The paying the tax, people would best storage method devised was a purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, square-based pyramid with one since most games require 52 ball on top, resting on four resting cards, these people were thought on nine, which rested on sixteen. to be stupid or dumb because they Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls weren't 'playing with a full deck..' could be stacked in a small area Early politicians required feed- right next to the cannon. There back from the public to determine was only one problem....how to what the people considered prevent the bottom layer from important. Since there were no sliding or rolling from under the telephones, TV's or radios, the others. The solution was a metal politicians sent their assistants to plate called a 'Monkey' with 16 local taverns, pubs, and bars. They round indentations. However, if Monthly Birthday Party - 2nd Sat. @ 10:30pm *Join Us on YOUR Birthday! * GIFT CARD DRAWING

Fridays 4-7pm Open 6 Day’s a Week Monday - Saturday

11 4 5 t h Av e . S tru m, WI

March 2018

( 715) 695 - 3687

this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make 'Brass Monkeys.' Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannonballs would come right off the monkey; Thus, it was quite literally, 'Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.' (All this time, you thought that was an improper expression, didn't you.) Submitted by: Bert Engel Chippewa Falls, WI PADRE ISLAND NATIONAL SEASHORE Source: fineartamerica The undeveloped barrier island is the longest in the world stretching 70 miles from end-to-end. Its 130,000 acres of beach and grassland habitats are home to rare animals such as turtles and countless birds. It is a renowned spot for birdwatchers as the island serves as a resting spot for more than 350 species of bird making their

UPCHUC K

120 W. Main St. Arcadia, WI (608) 323-9907 OPEN: M-Th Noon - 2am F & Sa 10am - 2:30am Sun 10am - 2am DAILY DRINK SPECIALS DJ Music: Th, Fri, & Sa 9-Cl (Safe Rides Available) annual migrations. Padre Island is served by an informative visitor centre, which offers information on the wildlife and routes available. TEXAS STATE CAPITOL Source: Flickr This building, set on 22 acres of land in Austin, was built in 1888 and stands at over 300 feet tall. Tours of the grounds are available and offer guests information on several monuments, including a memorial to veterans of the Vietnam war, as well as an insight into the history of the building and its functions past and present. In the evening, thousands of bats take to the skies after leaving their perches under the Ann W. Richards Congress Avenue Bridge.

UNCLE SAM’S OF ARCADIA Tues: Free soda, Dom Beer, or Rail Drink w/purchase of a Burger Bsk or any Dinner Happy Hr: Wed: $0.50 Cent Wings T -F 2-6p (Check out our Flavors!) & FREE Pool Thurs: $1 OFF Stuffed Burgers (Made to order basket) Fri: Pizza & 6 Pk Dom Beer $20 Sat: $1.50 Busch Lights 12-8pm Sun: $1.50 Busch Lights, $2 Dom Beers, Chips & Dip

NEW EXPANDED MENU STOP IN & EAT WITH US! NEW HOURS: Tues - Thru: 11am - CL, Fri: 6am - CL and Sat & Sun 10am - CL 309 W. Main St. Arcadia, WI

(608) 323-7USA (7872)

Enter to Win Movie Tickets for Micon Theatres Chippewa Falls & Eau Claire, WI Theaters

February 2018 Winner

Carol Bowe

of Chippewa Falls Send in your entry TODAY! Grub & Pub Report PO Box 473 Chippewa Fall, WI 54729!

MOVIE TRIVIA ANSWERS TO FEBRUARY TRIVIA: 1. Jennifer Lawrence 2. Julia Roberts 3. Gotham City 4. Krypton 5. Arnold Schwarzenegger MARCH 2018 TRIVIA QUESTIONS 1.What "Alice in Wonderland" character shouted, "off with his head!"? 2. What school does Harry Potter attend? 3. What is the name of the actress who played Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series of films? 4. What was Marilyn Monroe's name at birth? 5. In which Star Wars film did the Ewoks first appear?

March 2018

TOM AND PEE WEE Tom: What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy? Pee Wee: I don’t know. Tom: A rash of good luck on St. Patrick’s Day. HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY! $50 Bill and his wife Blanche went to the state fair every year and every year Bill would say, 'Blanche, I'd like to ride in that helicopter' Blanche always replied, 'I know Bill, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks and fifty bucks is fifty bucks' One year Bill and Blanche went to the fair, and Bill said, 'Blanche, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance' To this, Blanche replied, "Bill that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.' The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.' Bill and Blanche agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!' Bill replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth I almost said something when Blanche fell out, but you know,"Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!" Submitted By: Judy Dahl Bloomer, WI

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affordabledominicanvacations.com MALE OR FEMALE You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples: FREEZER BAGS They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons. TIRES Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated. HOT AIR BALLOONS Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt. SPONGES These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water. WEB PAGES Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on. TRAINS Definitely male, because they

always use the same old lines for picking up people. HOURGLASS An hourglass is female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom. HAMMERS Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around. THE REMOTE CONTROL Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying... Submitted By: Kevin Stanton Chippewa Falls, WI ST. PATTY’S JOKES Where can you always find gold? (In the dictionary!) Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day? (Because they're already wearing green!) Why did the elephant wear green sneakers? (Her red ones were in the wash!)

Jimmy’s World Bar & Campground

N1745 Rangeline Rd. Conrath, WI Bar # 715-532-0637 / Cell # 715-403-3867 OPEN Great Fishing, Tubing, Canoeing right on Main Creek Noon - CL Laundry Facility, Camp Store, 18 Full RV Hook-up 7 Days a Week Sites & 54 Primitive Sites,Heated Shower House On ATV Trail We Have An... Apartment For Rent .. Call Today!

GRANTON - OSSEO - TONY PAGE VISIT TEXAS Fort Worth Stockyards: Source: jamesb This area, which was founded in 1866, owes its name to the cattle industry here that was involved in the logistics, administration and transportation of cattle to all corners of the United States. The facility is one of the last of its kind in the USA and is now home to various attractions such as rodeos, concerts and Wild West shopping.The stockyards also provide visitors with access to several exhibits on its past and information on the part the yard and cattle played in the country’s history. Moody Gardens and Aquarium: Source: Flickr The Moody Gardens is one of Galveston’s top attractions and is known for its three spectacular glass pyramids; The Rainforest, Discovery and Aquarium Pyramid all have very different themes to offer guests. In the Rainforest pyramid, visitors will find a wide assortment of plants and wildlife from the tropics. The Discovery Pyramid is a great place to get hands on with a selection of science exhibits and finally, the Aquarium Pyramid is home to one of the largest aquariums in Texas and boasts a variety of marine life from the planets oceans.

TIRED OF THE SAME OLD WINE Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.' 'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonay. GET YOUR PROOF A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!" (It is wise when borrowing money, tools etc.to have the person who is ‘borrowing’ write you an IOU with their signature and date on it. Then you always have proof.. getting a date that these items will be given or paid back is also a good idea!!)

Mickey’s Bar & Grill Open: Wed - Sun @ 11am Happy Hour: 4 - 6pm T-F 50cents OFF ALL Drinks!

Serving Full Menu till 10pm PIZZA ANYTIME! Try Our ..SPORTY BURGER

(715) 532-7598

N5399 Walnut St. Tony, WI

THE PERFECT SON A: I have the perfect son. B: Does he smoke? A: No, he doesn’t. B: Does he drink whiskey? A: No, he doesn’t. B: Does he ever come home late? A: No, he doesn’t.

B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? A: He will be six months old next Wednesday. Isn’t St. Patty’s Day Also For Kissing???

Osseo: Open 9a -11p Sun-Thurs & 9a - 12a Fri - Sat Stevens Point & Hazelhurst: Open10a -11p Sun - Thurs & 10a -12a Fri -Sat

MEETING THE IRISH David: Mom, I met an Irish boy on St. Patrick’s Day. Mom: Oh, really? David: No, O’Reilly!

TOMMY’S HILLTOP Open Sun – Thurs 9A - 2a Fri & Sa – 9A - 2:30am

*Sunday Breakfast Served 9-11a

Join us at Tommy’s Hilltop for Great Food, Great Service and Friendly Conversation TODAY! W2860 US Hwy 10, Granton, WI 54436

March 2018

(715) 238-7852

108 W. Miner Ave. Ladysmith, WI 715-532-7757 Happy Hour: M-F 3-6pm ‘Hometown Bar for All’

THE GINGERHAM DRESS A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a old suit, stepped off the train in Boston and walked timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably

28135 290th Ave. Holcombe, WI 715-595-4035 www.entwoodgolf.com email: golf@entwoodgolf.com

*Group Rates Available *Special Event Bookings *Children 11 & Under FREE! Watch our website for opening in mid March! @www.entwoodgolf.com Senior discount on Mondays (65 and Older) $17.00 all day with cart Ladies day Fridays $7.00 Walk for 9 holes, $15.00 with cart 9 holes. Open 7 days a week @ 7am Wednesday All Day Golf with cart for $25.00 ea per

March 2018

didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge. 'We'd like to see the president,' the man said softly. 'He'll be busy all day,' the secretary snapped. 'We'll wait,' the lady replied. For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't, and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted. 'Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they'll leave,' she said to him! He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to spend with them, and he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office. The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple. The lady told him, 'We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus.'

B L A C K R I V E R FA L L S - P R AY The president wasn't touched. He was shocked. 'Madam,' he said, gruffly, 'we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery.' 'Oh, no,' the lady explained quickly. 'We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard.' The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, 'A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard.' For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, 'Is that all it cost to start a university? Why don't we just start our own?' Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. Mr. And Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the university that

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bears their name, Stanford University, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about. You can easily judge the character of others by how they look and also by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them. ---- A TRUE STORY by Malcolm Forbes Submitted By: Mike Fischer of Eau Claire, WI HAMILTON POOL TEXAS Source: roadtrippers On a hot day (most days in Texas) there is no better place to cool off than in a natural swimming hole. The most impressive of these is probably Hamilton Pool, a spectacular naturally shaded pool fed by Hamilton Creek 50 feet above... don’t forget to bring a towel and sunscreen.

Jim’s

Shady Nook Resort (Located on Pike Lake)

*Bar * Restaurant *Cabins *Campground *Seasonal RV Sites Happy Hr: 4-7p M -Th Sun $3 Bloody Marys All Day! OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 10a-CL Memorial Day Thru Labor Day

All Day.. BLOODY MARY Sunday: Bloody Marys w/ 12 Ingredients Only $4.50

FRIDAY FISH FRY Soup& Salad Bar 4-9p EVERY SATURDAY BBQ Pork Ribs & Smoked Prime Rib 4-9p 12oz.or 16oz.

Happy Hour: Mon & Tues Op to CL & Wed-Fri 3- 6p

16061 296th St. Cornell, WI

50 Taps, $1.00 Mugs, $1.75 Dom Beer, $2.00 Rails

715-667-3878

\WHEN GOLF BECAME A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. 'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.' 'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.' 'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?'' ‘Far from it,’ snorted the Sister. “In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!'' ‘Goodness, Sister!’ gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You

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Join Us... Fri. Fish Fry w/ Full Salad Bar TAKING SM PARTY BOOKINGS..!

March 2018

H O L C O M B E PA G E must tell me all about it!' 'Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother, a 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green...and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight!' 'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!' 'No, no, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!' 'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother. 'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!' 'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile. 'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!' Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said : 'You missed the faaarrrttting putt, didn't you?! Submitted By: Mike Greenwold

MORE THINGS TO DO IN TEXAS Natural Bridge Caverns: Source: ecstasycoffee This impressive underground network boasts more than 10,000 different stalactite formations and is the largest accessible cave in the country. The caverns are just a short drive from the city of San Antonio and offer visitors tours and attractions such as the lantern tour which offers the opportunity to see the cave as the original discoverers did many decades ago. Back above ground, there are a host of other activities including an open-air maze and treetop canopy challenge.

NORTH Bar & Grill 116 Main Street Cornell, WI (715)239-6677

Open Daily 6am-Cl Always a great ... Friday Night Fish Fry! ** Call for Carry Outs!** BREAKFAST SERVED ALL DAY EVERY DAY! Great bartenders, Great cooks..

Stop in soon! Q&A Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogie in it.

KA KUR O P UZ ZL E Complete the kakuro puzzle. Place a number from 1 to 9 in each empty cell. Do not repeat any numbers in a given block. Hints are shown in grey squares. The number below a diagonal line is the sum of the numbers below it. The number above a diagonal line is the sum of the numbers to the right of it. There is more than one answer.

The Rut N705 Cty Rd. M. Sarona, WI 715-354-3250

they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.' --Toby, 7 year old 'My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much.' --Sarah, 7 years old

Join Us for... Beer, Booze, & Fun Live Music Entertainment Calendar for listings

BEER BY SEVEN YEAR OLDS A handful of 7-year-old children were asked, 'What they thought of beer.' Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching. 'I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.' --Tim, 7 years old 'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice.' --Melanie, 7 years old 'My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny.' --Grady, 7 years old

'My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.' --Lilly, 7 years old 'I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.' --Ethan, 7 years old 'I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.' --Shirley, 7 years old AND THE BEST RESPONSE: 'My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.' --Jack, 7 years old Submitted By: Patricia Mann Fairchild, WI

'My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more

Lincolnwood Resort

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Great Food & Drink Specials

*BAR *grill *BAIT *tackle

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‘Home of Long Lake Tea’

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BR IL L - B IRC H WOO D - S A RO NA P G A FEW BAYPORT JOKES Submitted by: P.S.Thatcher, Bayport MN TEN BUCKS CHANGE Charlie was telling his tale of woe to his boss. He said, "I was so drunk last night that I don't know how I got home. Not realizing it was my bed I slept in, when I awoke I handed the woman next to me a $20 bill." "Is that what's making you sad?" "No," said Charlie. "It was my wife I gave the $20 to, but she gave me $10 change!" SWEET YOUNG THING A sweet young thing marries an old man for his money. On their wedding night she jumps into bed and he holds up five fingers. "Oh, honey," she said with delight, "does that mean five times?" "No," replied her husband. "You can pick one out." SMALL HEAD Every morning, the crowd on Coney Island beach was startled to see a jogger with the build of a pro football player but a head the size of a baseball. Finally, some brave young man got up the nerve to stop him and ask, "What happened to give you such a small head?" The jogger sadly told the story of finding a magic lamp on the beach, which produced a beautiful genie when rubbed. The genie said, "I now give you one wish. Do you want a quick screw or a little head?"

Now Serving HOMEMADE Pizzas!

March 2018

Q & A Q.What did the Polack do with his first fifty-cent piece? A.Married her. OPEN DAILY @ 10am SERVING FOOD DAILY 10A-10P

*Boat Docking Available *Visit us on beautiful Long Lake *Gas Available for ATV’s, Boats & Snowmobiles

N1075 East Side Rd. Birchwood, WI 715-354-3533 L i n c o l n w o o d r e s o r t . c o m

MORE FUN FOR FAMILIES IN TEXAS Zebra’s at Dallas Zoo: Source: Flickr Located in Marsalis Park, three miles south of Downtown Dallas, Dallas Zoo is a 106-acre zoo. It was established in 1888 and is the oldest and largest zoo in Texas It is a non-profit attraction and is managed by the Dallas Zoological Society. The zoo currently houses over 2000 animals and is best known for its children’s area and African themed enclosures, which are viewed from a monorail. Texas State Fair: Source: Flickr If you are visiting Texas in Autumn, the state fair which is held for three weeks in Houston, is a must see event. Set in the 277 acres of Fair Park, more than three million visitors attend this event each year. Welcoming the visitors since 1952, is the 52 foot mechanical cowboy Big Tex. Entertainment is abundant and varies from puppet shows to military parades. There is plenty of tasty Texan food on offer as well as live music performances. Fair Park is also home to nine museums including the African American museum and the Age of Steam museum.

Pizza, Soups, Burgers, Fish Fry All Your Yummy Eats!

Happy St. Paddy’s Day! Located on Main St. in Brill, WI (715) 234 - 1823

There’s no place like the Wagon Wheel!

MORE ST. PAT’S JOKES Where can you always find gold? (In the dictionary!) Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day? (Because they're already wearing green!) Why did the elephant wear green sneakers? (Her red ones were in the wash!) What did the leprechaun do for a living? (He was a short-order cook!) How can you tell if a leprechaun is having a good time? (He is Dublin over with laughter!) Peyton: What did the leprechaun say on March 17? Cody: I dunno. Peyton: “Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!” What type of bow cannot be tied? (A rain-bow!) Evan: What’s Irish and stays out all night? Steffan: What? Evan: Paddy O’Furniture except in Wisconsin winter.. it’s cold!

Mike & Ellie’s

Shady Rest Campground & Poor Folks Saloon (Located on 1300 Acre Bear Lake) 2883 17 3/4th St. Rice Lake, WI 715-234-7339

Open: Mon - Thurs @5pm Fri - Sun @ Noon

Serving: Pizza & Hamburgers Daily Check Out Our .. George Jones Memorabilia!

March 2018

Happy Hour: 3 -6pm Mon - Fri Tues: FREE Pool Wed: 2 for 1: 8-10p

H AUG EN - R IC E L A KE P G PICK ME UP LINES 1. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you. 2. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes. 3. That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it? 4. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 5. If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together. 6. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous. 7. Are you a parking ticket? 'cause you got fine-fine-fine written all over ya. 8. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet. 9. If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me? 10. Girl, you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day! Submitted By Pete Weiss Augusta, WI HOW TO IMPRESS A Woman.. Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, ...caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine and dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.... A Man.. Show up naked. Bring beer Submitted By Pete Weiss Q&A Q: What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? A: You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.

Q&A Q: Why did the school kids eat their homework? A: Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. TRAVELING SALESMAN So this traveling salesman got an audience with the Pope. "Hey, Father," he said. "Have you heard the joke about the two Polacks who---" "My son," the Pope said. "I'm Polish." The salesman thought for a minute. "That's okay, Father, " he said. "I'll tell it very slowly." PHOTO ON THE STAND After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. 'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks. 'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him. 'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues. 'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away at his ear. 'Is it your dad or your brother?' he inquires, hoping to be reassured. 'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!' she answers. 'Well, who in the hell is he, then?' he demands. She whispers in his ear, 'That's me before the surgery.' ... Meet Andy & Jill at...

The Adventure OPEN: 7 Days a Week 9am - CL NOW OPEN SUNDAYS!

Homemade Pizzas Available Come Join Us for.. Volleyball & Bean Bags (seasonal) FISHERMEN WELCOME.. Catch the BIG One Then stop in to enjoy a beverage!

2091 22 1/2 Ave. Rice Lake, WI

Phone: (715) 475-1300 REDNECK BIRTH The Redneck went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby. Upon arriving, the nurse says "Congratulations, your wife has had quints, FIVE big baby boys." The Redneck says, "I'm not surprised, I’m hung like a chimney." The nurse replies, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned, the babies are all black." Submitted By: Janice Carteron DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME THOUGHTS Why can't Spring daylight savings happen at like 4pm on a Friday? Havig kids is waking up the first morning of daylight savings time every day for 18 years! Daylight Savings Time Is Mar 11th Set your clocks forward 1 hr!

2251 Cty SS - Rice Lake, WI 715-719-0669 *Just West of the Rice Lake Speedway *Friendly Beer & Liquor Bar

Indoor Fishing Contest Sat., Mar. 31st @1p 31

Homemade

Pizza!

15793 West 1st St. Ettrick (608) 525-7171 OPEN: Mon - Fri 10am - CL Sa - Sun 8am - CL Serving Breakfast: Sat 8-10:30a Sun 8a-12p & Mon 5p-10p

SHED HUNTING CONTEST Sunday, March 25th 2pm-6pm $5 Entry Fee – 100% Payback (Enter Up To Day of Contest) 2017 & 2018 Sheds Lgst R - Lgst L / Lgst & Smst Set Judged by Measurement Enter By March 4th for Early Bird Prize Vendors & Official Scorer YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF 1.More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. 2.You think the stock market has a fence around it. 3.You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test. 4.You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu. 5.Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 6.Your front porch collapses and

kills more than three dogs. 7.You've ever used lard in bed. 8.Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool. 9.You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. 10.You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame. 11.Your home has more miles on it than your car. 12.Your Christmas tree is still up in February. 13.You've ever been arrested for loitering. 14.You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre. 15.There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house. 16.You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice. 17.You've ever shot anyone for looking at you. 18.You own a homemade fur coat. 19.Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. 20.Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list. 21.You've totaled every car you've ever owned. 22.There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car. 23.Momma taught you how to

Dwyer’s ‘My Second Home’ Bar & Grill 13272 Main St. Pigeon Falls, WI 715-983-5664 NEW AT MY SECOND HOME...

Buzz Time Trivia

Offered ... ALL Day... EVERY Day!

AND... It’s FREE! R E GU LA R S P E C IALS Tu e s M e n ' s N i g h t B u y 1 G e t 1 F R E E 7 - C L , Wed Dr. Night 7-CL $1 for Shots of Dr. Plus. . All-U-Can-Eat S h r i m p $ 8 . 9 9 5 - 9 p Thurs Ladies Night 7-CL.. Buy 1 Get 1 FREE! *Breakfast Served Daily Open: Mon - Fri 7:30am-CL Sat & Sun 8am-CL Happy Hour Pull Tabs M - F 4-7pm

March 2018

*Mon - Fri: Lunch Specials Join Us for: Burgers, Appetizers & Homemade Pizza

Fresh Burger Daily from Local Meat Locker

ETTRICK - HUMBIRD P I G E O N FA L L S P G flip a cigarette. 24.There is a wasp nest in your living room. 25.The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. 26.You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday. 27.There has ever been crimescene tape on your front door. 28.You burn your front yard rather than mow it. 29.You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment. 30.Fewer than half of your cars run. 31.You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys. 32.The taillight covers of your car are made of tape. 33.Your car has never had a full tank of gas. 34.Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash. 35.Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal. 36.You think a subdivision is part of a math problem. 37.You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap. 38.Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days. 39.Your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

40.Your momma doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her a--. 41.You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by. 42.Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states. 43.You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin' dog. 44.You're an expert on worm beds. 45.The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house. 46.Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!" 47.Your family tree does not fork. 48.The flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls. 49.You haul more than U-Haul. 50.Your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!" 51.There is a gun rack on your bicycle. 52.Your wedding was held in the delivery room. 53.Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener. 54.Your wife's hairdo attracts bees. 55.Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."

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Horoscopes coming again soon! Ocean Star Offshore Drilling Rig and Museum: Source: Flickr This drilling rig and museum offers an interesting insight into the important oil industry within the Gulf of Mexico. It is located just a short walk from Downtown Galveston and provides a unique up close look at the equipment used to drill for oil as well as information on exactly how the substance is obtained. KNOCK, KNOCK Carrot: Knock, knock. Potato: Who’s there?

Carrot: Irish stew. Potato: Irish stew, who? Carrot: Irish stew in the name of the law. YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF (Continued from page 33) 114.You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco. 115.You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it. 116.Your idea of a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack. 117.You go to a tupperware party

Curvy Word Puzzle

(Answers pg 40)

C U RV Y WO R D for a haircut. 118.You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass. 119.Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. 120.Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle. 121.Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care. 122.The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road". 123.Your dog and your wallet are both on chains. 124.Every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard. 125.Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mudflaps. 126.You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income. 127.You fainted when you met Slim Whitman. 128.You have lost at least one

S U D U KO P G

tooth opening a beer bottle. 129. Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people". 130.You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car. 131.Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging. 132.You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car. 133.You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions. 134. Red Man sends you a Christmas card. 135.The Salvation Army declines your mattress. 136.You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work. 137.Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade. 138.Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

SUDUKO ‘Hard’ Puzzle

March 2018

(Ans. pg 40)

139.Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. 140.You have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia on My Mind". 141.You call your boss "Buddy", on a regular basis. 142.You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison. 143.You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance. (Is that a bad mental image or what?) 144.You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. 145.You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut. 146.The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair. 147.You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard. 148.Someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it." 149.Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator. 150.You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow. 151.You mow your lawn and find a car. 152.You can spit without opening your mouth. 153.Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight. 154.You go Christmas shopping

B L A C K R I V E R FA L L S P G for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift. 155.You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again. 156.You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food. 157.You can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. 158.You have to go down to the creek to take a bath. 159.You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest". 160.You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year... more to come in next months issue of the GnP Report,, stay tuned! MORE FUN IN TEXAS Perot Museum of Nature and Science: Source: Flickr It may be Dallas’ newest museum but the Perot Museum of Nature and Science has a lot to offer visitors. It combines three renowned museums, The Science Place, the Dallas Museum of Natural History and the Dallas Children’s Museum. Located conveniently near the Arts District between Downtown and Uptown, it opened its doors for the first time on December 1, 2012. The museum offers a huge variety of exhibits and attractions, including an IMAX theater; a oneacre science park, giant leap frogs and musical instruments; and a

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March 2018

Bev’s

Texas-inspired landscape design. A true must see and experience. Haunted Mayfield Manor: Source: cooltoursgalveston Tucked away in historic shopping district in The Pleasure Pier Galveston, Haunted Mayfield Manor offers 12 terrifying rooms of terror guaranteed to have you screaming. As well as copious amounts of horror, the manor also gives visitors some history and background into the area. From time to time paranormal investigations take place in the Mayfield Manor and visitors are offered the unique experience to take part in the supernatural studies. The Pleasure Pier: Source: pleasurepier After devastation caused by Hurricane Ike, Galveston locals redeveloped this pier to resemble a bygone era of boardwalk amusements. A wristband will get you unlimited rides on the 16 attractions including The Pirate’s Plunge, guaranteed to please on a hot day in Texas, and the 200-foot Texas Star swing. At night the pier is transformed entirely into a spectacular array of lights and often live music. San Antonio Missions National Historical Park: Source: Flickr This national park preserves four out five of the Spanish Frontier missions in San Antonio. In the early 1700s, South Texas was

Saddle Mound Tap Where ‘Nice’ Friends Meet Open 7 Days A Week M-F 11am - ? / Sa - Su 8a-?

Join Us for... Weekend Breakfast, Nightly Specials Full Menu & Drinks under attack from Apache, disease and drought. The only chance for survival for the Texans was in the missions, which required newcomers to forswear their traditional life and become Spanish, accepting a new religion and an unseen king in the process. Nowadays, the missions offer a chance to learn about the past through exhibits and actors telling the story of this period in history. There is so much more in Texas to see and experience that I could not put it all in the magazine, but I encourage you to check it out for yourselves online if you are planning a trip. The people of Texas need our support right now especially after the devastation of Hurricane Harvey which is tied with Hurricane Katrina as the costliest tropical cyclone on record, inflicting at least $125 billion (2017 USD) in damage and displacing more than 30,000 people who are still in great need.

MARCH ENTERTAINMENT Fri. Mar 2: Joe and Vicki Price 8-12 Sat. March 10: Aliance 8-12 Sun. March 11: Colemans Karoke 1-5 Fri. Mar 16: A Hundred Sows & Bucks 6-10

Sun. Mar 25: Legends & Outlaws 1-5 Sat. March 31: Backroads 8-12 N5890 Hwy 54 Black River Falls, WI 715-284-9345 www.facebook.com/SunsetTavern

PUZZLE ANSWER PAGES WORD SEARCH PUZZLE ANSWERS WHERE IS A GREAT PLACE TO ADVERTISE Your Restaurant, Bar or Service Business, Goods & Services?? THE GRUB AND PUB REPORT (Hand delivered to over 300 locations in a 75 mile radius of Chippewa Falls, WI) Contact Dyzzi @ 715-456-7518 or email dyzzi42@yahoo.com GOTTA LOVE ST. PATTY’S DAY Q. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? (Real rocks are too heavy!) Q. Why can't you iron a four-leaf clover? (Because you shouldn't press your luck!)

CURVY WORD PUZZLE ANSWERS

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March 2018

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Q. When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato? A. When it's a French fry!) Q. What do you call a diseased criminal? A. A leper-con!

KARUKO PUZZLE ANSWERS

Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? A, Because they're always a little short! KNOCK, KNOCK Knock, Knock Who's there? Irish! Irish Who? Iris you a Happy St. Patty’s Day

Ian: Where do leprechauns buy their groceries? Colin: I don’t know. Ian: Rainbow Foods! Q. What did the leprechaun do for a living? a. He was a short-order cook! Celebrate St. Patrick’s Safely!

CROSSWORD PUZZLE ANSWERS ST PATRICK’S DAY

March 2018

ON-GOING WEEKLY ENTERTAINMENT Mondays: -Pump House- Downing- Karaoke every Monday night starting @ 7PM Tuesdays: -The Bungalow – Lakeland MNJorgensen Tagg Duo Acoustic from 6-8 -Hilltop Bar – Woodville- : Wed Live music Sarah OR Nici Peper (alternating) Wednesdays: -Golden Spike - Altoona- Karaoke 9-C. -Hilltop Bar – Woodville- Acoustic Shows every Wednesday 6 to 8pm! Thursdays: -Girolamo’s - E.C. - Karaoke 9P -1st & Goal - C.F. - DJ Not2Shy -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Karaoke -Foster Bar-Foster- Patio Live Music -Rookies - C. F. - ‘The Four’ Karaoke Contest 8:30 Feb - March Fridays: -The Bungalow, Lakeland MNDJ Dance & Karaoke 9pm-12:30am -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Karaoke Every Other Friday Night w/ Todd Olson -Big Swedes- Holcombe-Free Juke Box Every Friday Night @10pm -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Karaoke 9p-1am! -Rookies Pub- C.F.-DJ or Band Every Weekend -The Hub-Ellsworth-Karaoke Friday nite at 9p to 12a. -Jake’s Supper Club-Menomonie- Live piano music w/Duane Shaw every Friday from 7 to 10pm Saturdays: -Big Swedes- HolcombeDJ/Karaoke10p -Foolish Pleasures-Strum-Karaoke 2nd Sat. Monthly w/ Ron LaTour 9-? -Brick House- E.C.-- Karaoke @9pm -Double D - Boyd- Best Sound DJ 9P -Uncle Sam’s of Arcadia – House DJ -Golden Spike - Altoona- Karaoke 9-C. -The Hub-Ellsworth-Free Juke Box every SAT from 7pm to close -Rookies Pub- C.F.-DJ or Band Sundays -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Oldies DJ Music Sundays @3pm

FEBRUARY 2018 ENTERTAINMENT

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 25 -Dean & Sue’s – Menom Anything Goes Open Mic w/Two Frets Up 6 to 9pm -Sunset Tavern – BRFGinny and The Right Combination 1-5

March 2018

E N T E R TA I N M E N T S C H E D U L E PA G E 1 TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 27 -Dean & Sue’s – Menom Old Time Music w/Top Notchmen 1 to 4pm -The Bungalow – Lakeland MN- Rudy Rudesill 5-7pm

MARCH 2018

SATURDAY, MARCH 17 (Continued) -VFW Post 305-E. C. Blind River Band -Girolamo’s Court N House - E. C. DJ/Karaoke 9:30-1:30pm -Wabasha VFW Post 4086Zuber the DJ from Noon to ??

SUNDAY, MARCH 25 -Hilltop - Woodville - w/live music by Trandy Blue

SUNDAY, MARCH 18 -Dean & Sue’s - Menom Classic Country Jam w/Sandy Kay 6 to 9pm

FRIDAY, MARCH 30 -VFW Post 7232 –E.C. –4 Cast 8-12 -Wabasha VFW Post 4086The Zackary's from 8 to Midnight

FRIDAY, MARCH 23 -VFW Post 7232 –E.C. – DJ 8-12 -Dean & Sue’s - Menom - Open Mic w/Two Frets Up 6 to 9pm

SATURDAY, MARCH 31 -Linda and Dan’s T &C- C.F. JFT Party Band 9-1 -VFW Post 7232 –E.C. – Black Sheep 8-12 -Wabasha VFW Post 4086Willie B's Blues Band from 8 to Midnight -Hilltop - Woodville - Tim Sigler -Rookies Pub- C.F.- 2nd Xit 9-1

TUESDAY, MARCH 27 -Dean & Sue’s - Menom Old Time Music w/Top Notchmen from 1 to 4pm

ENTERTAINMENT SATURDAY, MARCH 3 -VFW Post 7232 –E.C. – Homegrown Tomatoes -VFW Post 305-E. C. - 40 Fingers SUNDAY, MARCH 4 -Dean & Sue’s - Menom Classic Rock Jam 6 to 9pm TUESDAY, MARCH 6 -Bungalow Inn- Lakeland, MN Mouldy Figs 5-8pm FRIDAY, MARCH 9 -VFW POST 7232 –E.C. – DJ 8-12 -Hilltop - Woodville - Jeff Loven SATURDAY, MARCH 10 -VFW Post 7232 –E.C. – 40 Fingers 8-12 -VFW Post 305-E. C. - Jeff White SUNDAY, MARCH 11 -VFW Post 7232 –E.C. –

Wayne Allen 4-7 -Dean & Sue’s - Menom Bluegrass Jam 6 to 9pm

SATURDAY, MARCH 24 -Loyal Legion Post 175 - Loyal Jeffery Broussard & Creole Cowbuys (Loisana) March 24th, 2018 -VFW Post 7232 –E.C. – Nite Hawk 8-12 -VFW Post 305-E. C. Mark Healey & Jim Schuh Duo -Wabasha VFW Post 4086James Mudcat Grant 7 to 11pm -Rookies Pub- C.F.- Live Music to follow Chippewa Bar Olympics 9-1

CROSSWORD PUZZLE ANSWERS CAR PARTS YOU SHOULD KNOW!

SATURDAY, MARCH 17 -Linda and Dan’s T &C- C.F. Twisted Rhythm 9-1 -VFW Post 7232 –E.C. – Moonshine 8-12

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CALL MOVIE THEATER AT 715-720-2291 OR CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE FOR MOVIE LISTINGS @ https://www.miconcinemas.com/theatres *CHIPPEWA FALLS *EAU CLAIRE, WI

Entertainment Schedule Page 2 BAR OLYMPICS: -Eagle’s Club-Lake Hallie4th Sat. Bar Olympics 7:30p -Rookies Pub- C.F.- March 24th Chippewa Bar Olymics Starts at Noon (6 Bars) *Live Music to follow @ Rookies !! BEAN BAG /DART / KNUBB -Behind Barr’s – GreenwoodThursdays - Bean Bags - starts at 7 -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake Hallie- Bean bag Tourney's Tuess @ 6:30p -VFW Post-305-E.C. - Every Wed: in House Bean Bag League -Loopy’s – C.F- Monday night Kubb and Bean Bag leagues BEERFEST -Back 40- Bloomer-Back 40 Beer Fest March 10th 1-4 p.m. at Back 4013 Micro-Brewers $20 a TicketTickets available at Back 40 or via Eventbrite BIRTHDAY / ANNIVERSARY PARTIES: -Fool ish Pleasures-Strum 2nd Sat. 10:30pm- Monthly -Foster Bar - Foster - Annual Pork Feed & Birthday Bash w/Winter Volleyball Tourney Saturday, March 3rd. BINGO / MUSIC BINGO: -Eagle’s Club-Lake Hallie-Music Bingo 4th Friday -Burly’s-C.F.- Bingo Sundays 1pm -LeRoy’s-C.F.- Thurs. Bingo 7-9pm -the Bungalow- Lakeland, MNSat. Bingo 2pm cont.. w/20p -The Hub-Ellsworth- Tues Bingo -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake Hallie Music Bingo" Tuesday's at 5:00 -Kern’s Kurbside – Elmwood-Every Wednesday - Bingo @7pm -Eagle’s Club-Lake Hallie-Bingo Every Wednesday night -Back 40- Bloomer- FREE Bingo every Sunday Night @ 5p DRAWINGS & MONEY WHEEL: -LeRoy’s-C.F.- Bingo- Wheel of Money on Thursday Nights 7-9

March 2018

SPECIAL OCCASION DATES OTHER THAN MUSIC BREAKFAST CLUB: -The Pump House-Downing- Sa & SU 8:30 - 12 -The Bungalow -Lakeland, MNThur & Fri 8a till 10:45/ Sat & Sun 7:30-a till 11:45 Sunday Brunch 9am-1:30p -Exit 45-Menom. - Breakfast All Day, -Bev’s Saddlemound Tap - PrayServing Breakfast Sat & Sun 8-10:30a -Jake’s -Menom. -Sunday brunch 10-2p -Dwyers-Pigeon Falls -Breakfast Mon-Fri at 7:30 a.m. Sat & Sun 8a -Big T’s North-Cornell Serves Breakfast 6a-8p every day! -Corral Bar & Grill - Durand - Serving breakfast from 5am – 11:30 am daily. -Side Tracks-Roberts- Serving breakfast Sat. 8-11am $ Sun 9a-noon -Village Inn, North Hudson- Serving Breakfast daily 8-11am CARD, CRIBBAGE, DICE: -Kern’s Kurbside – Elmwood-Every Thursday Euchre @7pm -Behind Barr’s – Greenwood- Sunday Texas Hold Em -starts at 1pm -Neillsville American Legion – NeillsvilleMon & Thurs @ 13:00 Sheepshead -Eagle’s Club-Lake Hallie3rd Sat. Mon Smear Tourney at Noon -Hilltop Bar – Woodville- Poker every Tues night & 2nd Sat. of the month -The Hub-Ellsworth- Euchre every Sunday starting at 2pm -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake Hallie Ducky dice throughout Winter" DART & POOL TOURNAMENTS: -Behind Barr’s – Greenwood- Every Thursday @ 7. "Show Up & Shoot" - in-house pool tourney -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake Hallie- Pool Tournaments every other Saturday! FEEDS, BREAKFASTS: -Neillsville American Legion – NeillsvilleMonday, March 12 - Steak Feed 1700-2000 Sunday, March 25 - Breakfast 0830-1200

FUNDRAISERS: -Rolly’s Coach Club - Altoona - 7th Annual Matt Sisko Memorial Hockey Tournament March 9th - 11th, 2018 at Hobb’s Ice Arena in Altoona, WI Benefit at Rolly’s Coach Club March 10th @ 7pm Raffle, Prizes & Silent Auction Please Contact 715-955-4917 for more info. to donate for event. Go to mattlonnisiskofoundation.org ICE FISHING TOURNAMENTS: - The Adventure-Rice Lake - Indoor fishing contest Sat. Mar.31st 1 pm MEAT RAFFLE: -Eagle’s Club-Hallie-Every Thursday -The Bungalow, Lakeland MN- Sat. 1pm -Ritz on the River-C.F. - Thurs. 5:30pm -Wabasha VFW Post -Wabasha, MN every Friday - Meat Raffle @6pm PAINTING CLASSES -Wabasha VFW Post 4086- FRI Mar 9 Painting Class @5pm (call club for details) -Loopy’s- C.F.- March 11: Paint Yellow Burst Flower *On Wood Canvas at 1 PM - 3 PM in the DOME! Special Lunch menu before the event with $4 bloodys and mimosas! SHED HUNTING CONTEST -Krazy K’s Saloon- Shed Hunting Contest Sunday, March 25th 2pm-6pm $5 Entry Fee – 100% Payback Enter Anytime (Including Day of Contest) 2017 & 2018 Sheds Largest Right – Largest Left Largest Set – Smallest Judge by Measurements Enter By March 4th for Early Bird Prize Vendors & Official Scorer ST. PATRICK’S DAY EVENTS -Cookies- Holcombe -get ready for st. Patrick's day parade sat. March 17th at noon. -Bresina’s – Tilden – Corned Beef and Cabbage Special with all the fixings 11am till gone! March 17, 2018 -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake Hallie- Join us for Pub Crawl and St Patrick's Day party at Slim's! -Girolamo’s Court N House - E. C. - St. Patty’s Day Join Us for Yummy Corned Beef & Cabbage starting @ 11am (while supplies l

ast) *Green Beer * DJ/Karaoke from 9:30-1:30pm -Wabasha VFW Post 4086- St. Pats Day Corned Beef & Cabbage Special from Noon to 4pm - Zuber the DJ Noon to ??? -Jake’s Supper Club - MenomonieCorned Beef & Cabbage, Ruebens -Kurn’s Kurbside - Elmwood - Corned Beef & Cabbage Special from 11am 'til gone Karaoke with Justin & Terressa 4pm 'til ??? -Sidetrack’s Saloon-Roberts- Annual Tippy Cup tourney and St. Pats Celebration Sat march 17th. 3 p.m. Corned beef and cabbage served!!! -Back 40- Bloomer-St. Patrick's Day Special:Corn Beef & Cabbage TRIVIA: -Kern’s Kurbside – Elmwood-Every Monday - Trivia @7pm -Eagle’s Club-Lake Hallie- 2nd Friday Trivia Night at 7pm VOLLEYBALL: -Loopy’s – C.F- Winter/Spring volleyball leagues runs through April.Sun - TH nights. -Loopy’s - C.F. - Tots in the Sand Every Monday Day in our "heated sand" dome, 10 to noon, $5 per child, drink and healthy snacks provided. - Loopy’s - C.F. -Mid Season Winter / Spring Volleyball Sign Up only “heated sand” volleyball dome -Foster Bar - Foster - Annual Pork Feed & Birthday Bash w/Winter Volleyball Tourney Saturday, March 3rd. Call 715-828-7653 or check our FB page for details! WINE TASTING: -The Bungalow- Lakeland, MN -2nd Thurs monthly wine tasting 6-8p Wine & Apps WING COMPETITION -Hilltop - Woodville - SUN Mar 25 Wing Competition w/live music WRESTLING -Eagle’s Club-Sat., Mar 31st: Showtime Championship Wrestling *Doors open 6p Starts at 7pm Tickets: Gen Adm $12 /Front

Row $15 / Proceeds to benefit Feed My People Food Bank

7th Annual “ M a t t

S i s ko B e n e f i t ”

& Memorial Hockey To u r n a m e n t Tournament: March 9th-11th @ Hobb’s Ice Arena - Altoona Benefit: March 9th Rolly’s Coach Club - Altoona @ 7pm Food, Beer & DJ Music, Raffle Prize & Silent Auction “Like” Matt Sisko Memorial Hockey Tournament on Facebook

Matt & Loni Sisko family photos

S po n so r ed b y: A l t o o n a Yo u t h H o c ke y, A l t o o n a L i o n s C l u b , R o l l y ’s C o a c h C l u b & D o c u m at i o n , L L C Tournament held in memory of Matt Sisko and his wife Loni. Proceeds from event will go to their two sons, Cater and Mason, and to the MATT & LONI SISKO FOUNDATION which provides assistanance to Chippewa Valley families in needs. To date the foundation has raised more than $90,000. For More Information go to .. mattlonisiskofoundation.org or Call Rolly’s at 715-832-4120

March 2018