Talk:Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective/GA1: Difference between revisions

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GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: The Night Watch (talk · contribs) 19:41, 1 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one on. If you don't hear back from my by Saturday, please ping me. The Night Watch (talk) 19:41, 1 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Additional comments from MilkyDefer

Great, I am always waiting for someone else to pick this up, so that I will not be the main reviewer.

To start with, I noticed a sourcing problem for some time. The article claims that the creators referenced Wordsworth's Book of Words during creating the game. If my memory served right, that's only the interviewer's speculation, not fact.
Also I would like to mention that the current prose of the review section is perhaps pretty bad. It's just piling up quotations.

I, the GA contributor for this article in zhwiki, is always at your service. Milky Defer 13:44, 2 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you MilkyDefer! If you have any further comments, don't be afraid to list them here. The Night Watch (talk) 20:16, 6 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

First Look

The first paragraph of gameplay is entirely uncited, you need to review the paragraphs and place citations for all gameplay mechanics.
The plot section is too long. At 717 words of prose, WP:VG/PLOT encourages us to leave it at 700 words or fewer.
The development and reception sections heavily use quotations that could easily be paraphrased; there is specific guidance against using too many quotes when the material could be rewritten and paraphrased.
There is some trouble with wikilinking, which I will review later. Overall, do not link to subjects that you think that an average reader will be familiar with (e.g. corpse, submarine, spirit, surprise party etc.) I also see a few WP:DUPLINKS. Generally, a link should appear only twice in an article: once in the lead, and once in the article body itself.
In regards to sales, MOS:VG encourages us to limit this information to the debut sales figures and the cumulative/most recent figures.

This is what I have right now, will take a deeper look later today. The Night Watch (talk) 20:16, 6 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@@ Line 14: / Line 14: @@
 * Also I would like to mention that the current prose of the review section is perhaps pretty bad. It's just piling up quotations.
 I, the GA contributor for this article in zhwiki, is always at your service. [[User:MilkyDefer|<span style="color:#09C">Milky</span>]][[User talk:MilkyDefer|'''<span style="color:#F09">Defer</span>''']] 13:44, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
+*Thank you [[User:MilkyDefer|MilkyDefer]]! If you have any further comments, don't be afraid to list them here. [[User:The Night Watch|<span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:110%">''The Night Watch''</span></span>]] [[User talk:The Night Watch|<span style="color:brown;"><span style="font-size:85%;">(talk)</span></span>]] 20:16, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
+=== First Look ===
+*The first paragraph of gameplay is entirely uncited, you need to review the paragraphs and place citations for all gameplay mechanics.
+*The plot section is too long. At 717 words of prose, [[WP:VG/PLOT]] encourages us to leave it at 700 words or fewer.
+*The development and reception sections heavily use quotations that could easily be paraphrased; there is specific [[WP:OQ|guidance against]] using too many quotes when the material could be rewritten and paraphrased.
+*There is some trouble with [[WP:WIKILINK|wikilinking]], which I will review later. Overall, do not link to subjects that you think that an average reader will be familiar with (e.g. [[corpse]], [[submarine]], [[spirit]], [[surprise party]] etc.) I also see a few [[WP:DUPLINKS]]. Generally, a link should appear only twice in an article: once in the lead, and once in the article body itself.
+*In regards to sales, [[MOS:VG]] encourages us to limit this information to the debut sales figures and the cumulative/most recent figures.
+This is what I have right now, will take a deeper look later today. [[User:The Night Watch|<span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:110%">''The Night Watch''</span></span>]] [[User talk:The Night Watch|<span style="color:brown;"><span style="font-size:85%;">(talk)</span></span>]] 20:16, 6 August 2023 (UTC)