Truthfully, there are only so many sex positions you can do comfortably (and enjoyably) without straining yourself. The idea that you have to be acrobatic or athletic to have good sex is kind of ridiculous. I’m trying to have an orgasm, not run a marathon, you know? Just because a sex position involves twisting your legs all the way around your body like a frickin’ snake doesn’t make it better, hotter, or more “sexy.” In fact, you might pull a muscle and wind up in the ER explaining to a stone-faced nurse named Kyle why you’ve come in today. No one wants that. “I was boning, Kyle, OK!?”
With all that being said, there are plenty of ways to alter your regular go-to moves to give them a little ~spice.~ Good sex involves a willingness to explore and try new things. And the new things don’t need to be that intense to be fun. This is where the Spread Eagle sex position comes in. This simple upgrade to our classic missionary position makes it feel like a whole new adventure.
What is the Spread Eagle sex position?
By now you’re probably horny for an explanation on what this position is. The Spread Eagle is the missionary position, only with slightly more oomf. The Spread Eagle position is "where the receiving partner lays on their back with their legs straight up, knees unbent, and out forming a V," explains Dr. Lanae St.John, a board certified sexologist and author of Read Me: A Parental Primer for “The Talk". "The inserting partner then mounts over [them]. It's a modified form of missionary, except with legs straight up.”
It looks like this:
What are the perks of the Spread Eagle position?
It’s “a position to allow [for] deep penetration,” says sex and relationship therapist Cyndi Darnell.
Before going deep, be sure that the “receiving partner is FULLY aroused," St. John says. "A person with a vagina will receive this position better if they are fully aroused so that the necessary ‘tenting’ can occur and make this deep penetration more comfortable."
This is also a fantastic position to incorporate a vibrator, if your partner has a clitoris. They can either use it on themselves or, if you’re especially dexterous, you can use it on them. For partnered intercourse, my current favorites are the Lora DiCarlo Drift (it even warms up by itself, like, what?!), the Zumio X, or the Le Wand Petite. You can use any toy that is small and easy to maneuver between two bodies.
Darnell says there’s also a bit of fun psychological play going on in this position. Since you’re trying something “new,” it can feel extra sexy, exciting, and “a little bit edgy”.
Plus, the visual aspect provided by this position can be a real turn on, St. John points out. “The genitals of the receiving partner are on full display so it can be visually appealing for the inserting partner,” she says.
The Spread Eagle works for anal sex, too.
If the receiving partner is into it (and it’s comfortable for them), the inserting partner can try holding onto their ankles to lift their bum slightly when inserting their penis or dildo. With anal sex, it’s all about angles and being sure everyone is properly aligned (but that’s also true of all sex, of course).
“Start slow and gently as you would for anal any time, and as [the bottom’s] butt hole expands to receive, experiment with the eagle to see how it feels and if your body enjoys it,” Darnell says.
Try different speeds and depths, and communicate with each other to be sure everyone is having a good time. St.John suggests using a pillow as a helping hand, if your angles are slightly off. (We recommend having a designated “anal sex pillow,” because yeah, sometimes poop makes an appearance. It's anal!) If you’d like an easy-to-clean, made-for-sex wedge pillow, check out the Liberator Wedge. And don’t forget the lube! Lots and lots of lube.
How can I make the Spread Eagle position more comfortable?
Don’t stress out if this isn’t a position you enjoy, whether you’re having it anally, vaginally, or both. This position is very easy to tweak, if need be. If having the receiver’s legs out straight is hard on their knees or hip flexors, simply bend their knees. It might not be a classic “Eagle,” but what’s most important is that you’re comfortable. Don’t be afraid to play around with it and find what works for you.
Sex positions are supposed to be fun and not every position is ideal for every person. Advocate for yourself, communicate with your partner, and go on a sexy adventure to find a sex position that you truly enjoy.
