Is anyone ever going to be able to write a book about taking an extended amount of time to themselves ever again? I'd been meaning to read this book fIs anyone ever going to be able to write a book about taking an extended amount of time to themselves ever again? I'd been meaning to read this book for years and thought lockdown would be the perfect time to do it, but by then I'd already experienced solitude for twice as long as Grumbach did, and I didn't feel like this gave me any new insights into it. If anything, I thought she should spend at least another fifty days in solitude and get back to me then. Probably this isn't a fair review given the circumstances under which I read this book, but we can only read and review under the circumstances we're in....more
Silence: In the Age of Noise was kind of a disappointment. My own expectations may be to blame; I seemed to be assuming this book would offer somethinSilence: In the Age of Noise was kind of a disappointment. My own expectations may be to blame; I seemed to be assuming this book would offer something I haven't already heard before. But it didn't. This book basically repeats the same points over and over: It's good to get out into nature and away from your phone if you can, but even if you can't, you can create your own silence in any situation by being mindful and not getting too caught up in life's craziness. There's (of course) an element of unexamined privilege here; not everyone can get away as easily as Kagge seems to be able to. But Silence is still a valuable reminder that more of this is under our control than it sometimes appears, and reading most of this short book in one sitting did induce a kind of meditative feeling that I appreciated....more
The Stranger in the Woods was gripping reading, there's no denying that. I love reading about survivalist situations generally, and in this case the dThe Stranger in the Woods was gripping reading, there's no denying that. I love reading about survivalist situations generally, and in this case the details of how Christopher Knight survived for so many years in the Maine woods—as well as the story of how he was eventually caught—were completely fascinating. The book deserves three stars for its page-turning qualities alone.
Something prevented me from rating this higher, though. The author's admiration for Knight was quite obvious, but I didn't share it. The fact that Knight stole food and other supplies from vacation cabins didn't bother me per se—if you're starving or freezing, you do what you have to do (although I did feel for the cabin owners who felt violated). No, what bothered me was that Knight was so contemptuous of our consumerist, capitalist society—but he was directly dependent for his livelihood on those who do participate in our consumerist, capitalist society. There's just no moral high ground there as far as I'm concerned, none at all.
Finkel interweaves Knight's hermit wisdom throughout Stranger in the Woods, but I wasn't quite on board with that either. I acknowledge that there are things to be learned from people who choose a life of utter solitude, but I can't embrace the idea that someone who drops out of society at age 20, for a quarter century, is in a position to tell all of us what's wrong with it. How would he know? He hasn't been in it for a quarter century! Further, although I am absolutely an introvert myself and wish more people were comfortable with solitude, silence, and contemplation, I'm still able to recognize that most of the wisdom we gain comes through our interactions with others, be they friends, lovers, relatives, co-workers, random acquaintances or strangers, even pets. Having to decide where our lives are going, what works and what needs to change—all that is important too. Once Knight was established in his forest campsite, he opted out of all of that, and all of the growth that can go along with it. That's fine; it's his choice and I'm honestly not judging him for it. But I am saying it doesn't mean he has more or better wisdom than the rest of us, so let's not act like he does. (And don't get me started on how he apparently spent a ton of time listening to TV show audio tracks and talk radio—Rush Limbaugh!—and evidently picked up a drinking habit. Possibly he wasn't quite as happy in his isolation as he maintained he was?)
The armchair psychologizing (probably not a word) Michael Finkel did got on my nerves a bit too. We've been over this so many times before: For people who like a lot of solitude, a lot of solitude makes them happy. For people who don't, it doesn't. That's it. While I think we could all stand to get out of our comfort zones a bit, these elements of our personality are pretty ingrained and there's not as much mystery to them as some would like us to think. For that reason alone, admiring Christopher Knight for being geared toward solitude seems a bit pointless. A Stranger in the Woods has been compared to Into the Wild, but Knight and Chris McCandless seem very different to me. McCandless was clearly someone who required a lot of stimulation—that's why he was always moving and challenging himself. As far as I'm concerned it's pointless to admire him as well—both of these men were living according to what worked best for them, but it simply wouldn't work for most of the rest of us. In other words, Knight and McCandless aren't really braver than everyone else, just different. Theoretically those of us somewhere along the spectrum between introverted and extroverted can learn a lot from people on the extreme edges of each... but I'm not sure there's much learning to be had in The Stranger in the Woods, at least for me....more
To call this book long-awaited and highly anticipated is a massive understatement, and I'm seeing a lot of disappointed reviews from people who loved To call this book long-awaited and highly anticipated is a massive understatement, and I'm seeing a lot of disappointed reviews from people who loved Brosh's first book. I'm of the opposite persuasion: I was underwhelmed by Hyperbole and a Half but thought this one was wholly successful. Hyperbole was a compilation of blog posts, but Solutions and Other Problems was written as a cohesive book, and it read that way! I definitely appreciated that. I also think Brosh's art has improved a lot—or at least, it's improved from what she's been showing the public; for all I know she's always been this good in private. This book is anchored by two big upsetting events, and although Brosh doesn't focus on the events themselves for a particularly long time, her outlook subsequent to those events colors the entire thing. It just felt really honest and brutal to me, and as a reading experience it made a major impact....more
I picked this up in a newly opened independent bookstore in my area, and when the owner of the store saw it in my hands, she expressed her enthusiastiI picked this up in a newly opened independent bookstore in my area, and when the owner of the store saw it in my hands, she expressed her enthusiastic appreciation for Jessa Crispin. "She's a smartie," she said. But honestly, I wasn't so sure. I had never warmed to Crispin's website, Bookslut, even though it should have been exactly the kind of thing I loved. I always had a sense that Crispin's work was hobbled by her trying too hard to be the smartest person in the room. I hate saying that about any writer, and especially a female writer, but it was a feeling I just couldn't shake. But I bought The Dead Ladies Project anyway, and after a few stops and starts unrelated to the book's quality, I am thrilled to be able to tell you that I was totally and completely wrong about Jessa Crispin.
The Dead Ladies Project is misleadingly titled. While it's ostensibly a memoir about Crispin, at loose ends in her own life, traveling to the hometowns of various writers and artists she admires, not all of these writers and artists are women. More significantly, this frame is just a jumping-off point for Crispin's real topic, which is all the ways human beings allow themselves to become unfree. Sometimes this refers to all of humanity, as in her discussions of the politics and history of the various regions she visits; sometimes it does indeed refer to the writers and artists she admires; and sometimes it refers to herself.
All of this is fascinating and extremely relevant to what's happening in the world today, and eventually I stopped even setting my pen down while reading, so often did I need to stop and underline some important point extremely well made. There's a lot here to admire, but what I most admired was Crispin's own intense vulnerability, gutting but somehow conveyed without a hint of sentimentality. How did she do that? I don't know. But I do know that after years of resisting what Crispin had to offer, I am now on the hook for anything else she comes up with. She really is the smartest person in the room. The Dead Ladies Project, the last book I read in 2016, is easily one of my favorite books of the last ten years....more
After finding Rebecca Traister’s Big Girls Don't Cry more entertaining and enjoyable than it had any right to be, I naturally was first in line to picAfter finding Rebecca Traister’s Big Girls Don't Cry more entertaining and enjoyable than it had any right to be, I naturally was first in line to pick up her latest offering. Happily, All the Single Ladies did not disappoint. Traister’s book addresses a basic fact: Women (and men, for that matter) are marrying less often, and marrying later in life. This is not due to any kind of moral failing on anyone's part, but merely to the fact that more and more women are finding that marriage simply doesn’t work for them, for any number of reasons (which are expounded upon here). Given how recently marriage and children were seen as the only possible life goals for women, this sea change is nothing short of revolutionary. Traister also makes the excellent point that the U.S. government should accept this fact and act accordingly, rather than viewing marriage as the default standard for all citizens. Her final chapter deals comprehensively with how our culture can best address this new normal in a way that’s realistic and helpful to all involved. I love Traister’s unflagging respect for single women as authors of their own destiny, but what I really, really love is the way she acknowledges that there are many ways to live a life, and (barring extreme cases, of course) none is any better or worse than any other. In a media culture that seems to grow ever more restrictive and image-obsessed (in direct opposition to women’s claiming of their freedoms, just as Susan Faludi has always maintained), this attitude is vitally important and a welcome infusion of oxygen into the room....more
I was going to write something about how this book wasn't particularly well-written and therefore was very slow going for me, but that it might be helI was going to write something about how this book wasn't particularly well-written and therefore was very slow going for me, but that it might be helpful to people who are new to mindfulness and looking for ways to better integrate their introversion with the lives they lead. But what I'm feeling is actually more complicated than that. I'll try to explain.
A book like this is full of exercises for the reader to do; some of them are written exercises, some of them involve observing your thoughts in different scenarios, and some of them involve particular types of guided meditation. All of them are extremely detailed and, in the case of the meditations in particular, tell you exactly how the meditation is supposed to go and what you're supposed to get from it. This results-oriented view of Buddhist concepts just doesn't sit well with me, and I worry a lot that if people start doing all these exercises and don't see precisely the results they're expecting, they will abandon practice altogether. I think if we do Buddhist practice, we should do it because we feel it's a good thing to be doing, something that makes sense for us. But, to paraphrase the writer Claire Dederer, we shouldn't go to mindfulness practice with our plates held out, asking for more of the same stuff we've always asked for. We need to be open to what might actually happen.
I know this sounds preachy, and I'm sure there are people who can be helped by regimens like this, or corporate mindfulness workshops and the like. But my own experience has taught me that there are just no shortcuts here, and I've apparently come to feel this quite passionately, which is something of a surprise to me. But I believe the time we spend reading writers who are busy trying to explain Buddhism might be better spent reading writers who are busy being the Buddha, if that makes sense. Less doing, more being.
I won this book in a giveaway here on Goodreads. ...more
What’s not to like about Spinster? Apparently quite a lot, if its Goodreads reviews are any indication. I think there’s a perception that this is suppWhat’s not to like about Spinster? Apparently quite a lot, if its Goodreads reviews are any indication. I think there’s a perception that this is supposed to be a sort of generalized book about single women as a group, and if you go into it expecting that, you’ll be disappointed (and should probably try Rebecca Traister’s excellent All the Single Ladies instead). No, Spinster is actually a very personal book, a memoir of Kate Bolick’s own experiences as a single woman and the literary role models who helped her recognize the kind of life she wanted to lead. True, none of these role models (Edna St. Vincent Millay and Charlotte Perkins Gilman among them) were spinsters by the official definition, but they shared a certain independence, a certain originality, a certain freedom, and a certain creativity that Bolick wants for herself. Bolick and I are not very much alike, but I still related to a lot of this, and I loved how bookish it was. Spinster is one of those books that opens your mind and reminds you that there are endless ways to live a life. I found it thrilling and comforting at the same time.
There seems to be some debate over whether or not Bolick herself, who always seems to have a man around in one way or another, actually qualifies as a spinster. I’ll admit that I asked this myself a few times while reading. But I think she’s actually a perfect embodiment of where we are now as a culture. These things are often complicated; we can crave both independence and love and companionship, and the way we balance out these longings can be tricky, a process of trial and error. It’s one of the most modern of predicaments a woman can find herself in, and I can’t and won’t fault Bolick for not navigating it exactly the way I’ve been. There’s a lot to be learned from those who view the same situation from a somewhat different angle. Spinster really isn’t the most radical book out there on these topics, but I cannot deny that I loved every minute of it, and I was sorry when it was over. In a readerly sense, Bolick made the perfect companion....more
Very fun read. Obviously, since it's from 1936, not all of it should be taken seriously by today's readers.Very fun read. Obviously, since it's from 1936, not all of it should be taken seriously by today's readers....more
