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What to do when your child asks if you believe in God

Kids can blindside you with big questions - we should be honest

The author pictured in her first Holy Communion dress - she's a Catholic but not devout
https://twitter.com/Moonfacemum?s=09
Mum of two, bar manager, and lover of wine. And tequila.

My four-year-old was sitting with his brother in the bath this week and out of nowhere asked me; 'do you believe in God, mama?'. I paused before offering up a classic deflection technique; 'well, what do you believe?' He didn't skip a beat - 'you first'. Damn it.

I was raised Catholic but my family aren't especially devout; as is often the case my Grandparents are, but my parents less so. My brothers and I went to a Catholic school and although we didn't attend Church every Sunday, we did 'show our faces' (as my Dad would say) periodically, and definitely at Easter and Christmas. I identified myself as Catholic well into my teenage years, when I was confirmed, and into my adulthood, although even my Christmas attendance became increasingly sparse as the years went by. My two boys had Catholic Christenings however, and my husband and I were married in a Church (albeit a Church of England one, purely due to its tantalisingly close location to our reception venue). Yet somewhere along the way I realised that my Catholism wasn't based faith any more; I was clinging to it because it's my heritage. And being proud of your heritage, and believing in and practising a religion, are two very different things.

So back to the bath tub and the God question. My husband is a proud and unapologetic atheist so I was pretty sure that if I consulted him on it he'd support whatever I wanted to say. I knew that my little boy was asking because its Easter time; they have been learning about the Easter story at school, and he'd also been learning about Holi, so we'd spoken about Radha and Krishna as well as Jesus in the last few weeks. He doesn't attend a religious school and is learning about religion in a very different way to how I was taught many moons ago. I don't want to dissuade any budding faith, but I don't want to lie to him about my own beliefs either. And suddenly I'm confronted with my own mini existential crisis; do I believe in God anymore? In that moment, in our bathroom with my children's lovely clean faces looking up at me, it was a resounding and clear thought - no. Those years of prayer, and Sunday school, and nuns, and confirmation retreats, and Holy Communion in the white dresses and lighting candles in Church at advent; they are all part of my childhood experience and my heritage but no - I do not believe in God.

Why us parents need some child-free time conversations.indy100.com

I'm quite a firm believer in something else though; telling your children the truth. Obviously this comes with certain exceptions (he doesn't need to know what really happened to all those mini eggs) but where possible, I would like to tell the truth to them, or a child friendly version. So I took a deep breath and I said 'no, I don't, but lots of people do, and whatever you believe we will be absolutely ok with'. He reflected on this in silence for a moment, and I thought we were about to embark on a discussion about religion and God and faith, the nature of good and evil, and the paradox of free will. I frantically tried to remember my R.E classes and my brief flirtation with Philosophy courses at Cardiff Uni. I needn't have panicked, he simply turned to his brother and said - 'I believe in Batman'. Me too, boys. Me too.

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Why I need time away from my kids

There hasn't been much opportunity for child-free time this past year, but its so needed

Mum of two, bar manager, and lover of wine. And tequila.
https://twitter.com/Moonfacemum?s=09

There are many parents out there that don't need a break from their children. I am not one of those parents. This weekend I'm having an overnight stay without the kids, and I can't bloody wait.

I need this time to miss them. I love the feeling of being excited to see them again and there hasn't been much opportunity for that this past year. I need this time to sit in silence and read, or eat a meal at a normal pace instead of devouring it like a rabid wolf. It may be paradoxical but I need time away from my kids to remind myself how much I love them. I need this time to enjoy luxuries like having a wee in private (because I usually get a little person following me into the bathroom for a chat). I need this time to wear earrings without the fear of tiny hands yanking them off my head, and to wear make up, and put on clothes that aren't pyjamas. Most of all I need this break to spend time with my husband without our little entourage, because I like hanging out with him but we are often distracted in the day, and after the kid's bedtime - exhausted. During the pandemic we have spent a lot of time together, but its not quality time - just vast amounts of quarantine Netflix. We need this break to remind ourselves that we are a couple as well as parents; that we are Lauren and Conrad, as well as Mama and Dada.

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The 5 plant-based Ramadan recipes to try today

There are plenty of delicious plant-based Ramadan recipes that even the biggest meat-lovers will undoubtedly enjoy.

World Animal Protection has moved the world to protect animals for more than 50 years. World Animal Protection works to give animals a better life. The organization's activities include working with companies to ensure high standards of welfare for the animals in their care; working with governments and other stakeholders to prevent wild animals being cruelly traded, trapped or killed; and saving the lives of animals and the livelihoods of the people who depend on them in disaster situations. World Animal Protection influences decision-makers to put animal welfare on the global agenda and inspires people to change animals' lives for the better. More information on World Animal Protection can be found at: http://www.worldanimalprotection.us/
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Written by Joe Loria, Meat Reduction Campaign Manager, World Animal Protection, US.

For those who eat little or no meat, dairy, and eggs, avoiding the animal protein-heavy dishes during Ramadan can be difficult. However, there are plenty of delicious plant-based Ramadan recipes that even the biggest meat-lovers will undoubtedly enjoy.

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