Recent content from James Lileks
Lileks: Ground bees are our latest infestation
With no joy I bring you news of the lawn-eating beetles, which will add their distinctive unpleasantness to the chunky goulash of calamity we call…
Lileks: The seasonal aisle tells the future
Back-to-school supplies aren't flying off the shelves. But will Halloween skeletons be wearing COVID masks?
Lileks: Please, more junk mail
It's always a shock when you get that AARP card in the mail. What? I'm not old. Although the actual sound of surprise and indignation…
Lileks: Murder hornets are so passe now that we have zombie cicadas
Something else not to be alarmed about.
What's the future of Minnesota's small-town downtowns? Hint: It's not Mayberry
Minnesota's small-town downtowns have a future, but it won't look like past.
Lileks: Let's vent to the wilderness, Minnesota-style
I scream, you scream, we all scream for Iceland.
Lileks: Is this the end of the men's suit?
Brooks Brothers, venerable men’s clothiers, has declared bankruptcy. Let us blame changing societal standards. I do not know if that is really the reason,…
Lileks: What does hand sanitizer cost? Who knows
At some point while restocking the home supplies, I realized I was preparing for the next pandemic. When flour was in short supply, I bought…
Lileks: How will we cope with the looming stick shortage?
It was time for the celebrated Minnesota tool.
Lileks: Why are fireworks in Minnesota so wimpy?
They're harmless fun, if you follow the law — which prohibits anything that goes up or explodes.
Lileks: Already looking forward to next year's fireworks
I'll miss the oohing and ahhing, but not the traditional race to the car after the show.
Did you know? There was once a bathhouse on the shores of Bde Maka Ska
The original bathhouse had one interesting characteristic: no roof.
Lileks: Remembering the useless screwdriver on Father's Day
Skip the wallet. Think of something for the wallet.
Lileks: You can't negotiate with ants
I am absolutely serious: if you guys can figure out a way to go after mosquitoes, you can have all the patio sand you…
Virginia Mae 'Ginny' Anderson, a longtime bank teller and editorial librarian, dies of COVID-19 at 91
For almost 40 years with the Second Northwestern Bank of Minneapolis on University Avenue, Virginia Mae “Ginny” Anderson was the smiling face at the teller’s…
Lileks: Scenes from a post-lockdown meal
To some, the phrase “going out to eat” is akin to a World War I soldier announcing he’s going to stick his head over the…
A Minneapolis pet food shelf is there when times get rough
Pet food shelves allow owners to stock up on food and supplies they might not be able to afford.
Lileks: What we'll lose if we lose movie theaters
The AMC movie chain says it might not survive these Unprecedented Times. I have lots of memories of the Southdale AMC complex. Dropping Daughter off…
Lileks: How not to unstop a stopped drain
Q: Can someone shove a tennis ball down a shower drain? A: Apparently so. Let me back up. One of the more popular boasts on…
Minneapolis' skyways are getting little use now, but they'll eventually be popular again
While they're getting little use now, these essential downtown connectors will eventually come back to life.
Lileks: Google has a list of words each state can't spell. It's wierd (stet)
You'd think we'd know that word by now.
Lileks: What was the matter with ordinary sprinklers? No app
The spring rains have been nice, but you know that eventually we'll see a fortnight of hot sun that will turn the lawn to straw.…
Lileks: What's open? The tie department
The lockdown has been modified, and no doubt you have questions. I don’t know why you’re ignoring sections of the newspaper with actual facts in…
Lileks: We're too cowed by COVID to beef about the meat shortage
Let's try an experiment to see how we really feel.
My dog swallowed a bunny and I ended up learning a lesson in gratitude
My rabbit-devouring dog ended up at the vet and I learned a lesson about being thankful.
Daydreaming of the next trip: An English village in Suffolk waits, unchanged
Walberswick, Suffolk, England: It’s a tiny village on the coast that checks off every requisite of the classic English hamlet — minus the murders solved…
Lileks: We are already SO over the murder hornets
If you just woke up from a yearlong coma and turned promptly to this column, let me sum things up as gently as I can.A…
Lileks: Without my reusable bag, no one knows what I believe
An unforeseen consequence of our times.
Lileks: We can't mask how tired we are of this
The looser the straps, the itchier your nose. That wouldn’t be a problem if we hadn’t eaten so much lockdown bread. I should explain, and…
Lileks: Tennis players have no love for Minneapolis court closures
The problem is that someone somewhere could touch something.
Where does Minneapolis seem most deserted? The skyways
City sidewalks aren't the real measure of how vacant Minneapolis is right now.
Lileks: A new e-mail scam? Or just Ping-Pong?
I’m going to say the most dangerous word on the internet. I can’t vouch for your safety. Your paper might catch fire if you say…
Lileks: How many sirens do we need?
Siren at mid-month, sailor's self-quarantine?
Lileks: I hope that I shall never see a tree mouth
This Arbor day, restore your emotional equilibrium by hugging a table leg. Let me explain. You might be surprised to learn that Arbor Day is…
Lileks: Some start to think pandemic, schmandemic
The constant fear makes no allowances for plumbing.
Lileks: Lessons from the Seed Wars
Can we not talk about it for a while? It seems a strange request, because we don’t talk about it much, specifically. It’s like…
Lileks: The quarantine's upside is that we're finally sitting down
On a walk around the block the other day, I saw a man in his front yard, tossing a little kid in the air for…
Lileks: Anyone checked on how Mary Richards is doing?
We should toss our hats and scoff at stiff licorice. What, you want an explanation for that? Fine. It started when I heard our Mary…
'Personalized meal plans' help you pamper your pooch during lockdown
It's easy to make your dog — and yourself — happy. Just give it a treat and stand back and watch.
Lileks: Can we do the State Fair in the era of social distancing?
On a necessary venture into the coronaviral miasma, I found myself in a line that seemed stretched a mile away from the register. Sounds bad…
Lileks: Coronabod, here we come
We're all gaining weight together.
Long gone, the Lutheran Brotherhood building was a breath of fresh air in the 1950s
Among all the brick and stone of downtown Minneapolis, the Lutheran Brotherhood must have seemed like a cool drink of fresh water. Finished in 1956,…
Lileks: Waiting for the sounds of spring
These are not official statistics, but some sources say that 100% of the population is sick of COVID-19. Not from it; of it. Nevertheless,…
Lileks: We need a new shaming standard
It's time to become aggressively passive-aggressive.
How the news media played down the pandemics of yore, from Spanish flu to Swine flu
Before the explosion of social media, pandemic news was more sedate.
Lileks: Kids coming back from college full of learnin' and COVID
Ting! Goes the phone. Ah, text from Daughter at college. Hey I’m all ears; do go on. Ting! Have Ting! Some news Why are you…
At annual memorial breakfast in New Prague, kindnesses stack up
The New Prague Knights of Columbus Hall will honor the memory of a beloved patriarch with pancakes.
Lileks: What could possibly be the problem with us all telecommuting?
Of course everyone can work from home!
6 movies about pandemics to watch (or avoid) if you're stuck at home
Stay home, wash your hands (and your TV remote) and enjoy these outbreaks.
LILEKS: The most precious glop in the world right now
James LileksLast week I went to buy hand sanitizer. Oh, no reason!Sometimes you just like to slather your palms with viscous zingy goop. And sometimes…
Lileks: Let's fill potholes with our tax bills
If only we could have a sign in the neighborhood like you see on the highways: "You will not have your tailbone slammed into your soft palate thanks to road improvements paid for by the following citizens."
Lileks: Just don't call it a plaguecation
Let's say you have to stay home until the tanker trucks can go through all the neighborhoods and hose everything down with Purell or chlorine gas. Can you make it?
With Kowalski's coming to Southdale, the first U.S. mall gets closer to roots
With the addition of a grocery store, Southdale moves one step closer to its original vision as a community hub.
Lileks: Getting in touch with your inner Julia Child
Remember meal kits? There were about 347 companies offering them a few years ago. All the rage. The pitch was simple: Why shop for groceries…
Lileks: The joys of boiler repair
"Tic-tic-tic-tic." "Phoomph." "Gosh!"That is what you want to hear when it's 10 below. The gosh, however could be a problem.The tic-tic-tic is the furnace's igniter.…
Lileks: There are rules for snow emergencies — but can you remember them?
It snowed? How's that an emergency? The word implies some sort of unanticipated disaster. Snow is what it does here in the winter.
Lileks: New purchase fails to spark joy
Last week, Gallup released a poll that said that 90% of Americans describe themselves as "happy." I'll bet they all have Instant Pots. Those are…
Lileks: How Minnesotans cope with the sunless midwinter mope
The skies have been cloudy all day — and most of the month.
Furbo dispenses remote-control treats, love and confusion to your pet
A new dog camera allows you to keep your pet close — and in kibbles — even when you're far away.
LILEKS: The future of grocery store checkouts – awful or awesome?
The self-checkout at the grocery store was not happy with me. Not happy at all. The robot voice sternly announced, “Unexpected item in bagging area.”…
Lileks: How to troubleshoot the inexplicable
Have you heard of Disney+?It's a new streaming service that lets you watch, for a monthly fee, the movies you saw in theater, then bought…
Lileks: How to be an idiot at the airport
I had an exciting experience at the airport that I've been awaiting for years. I saw something, and then I said something. I've done that…
Lileks: Are your holiday lights still up?
Yes, it'll be a bit sad to see the neighborhoods less bright. But it's a sign of hope to take down the lights. It means that the end of winter is coming.