The Gratuitous B-Movie Column: Why Escape From L.A. is Awesome

Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that has never been that tall, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number three hundred and seventy-one, I take a look at John Carpenter’s only sequel to date (directed by the man himself), Escape From L.A., which hit movie theatres twenty years ago in the summer of 1996. However, this isn’t going to be a typical TGB-MC movie review. Much like I did when I looked at Predator 2, I’m going to explain via a list of sorts why Escape From L.A. is awesome.

So sit back, relax, and find out why I think Snake Plissken’s second cinematic adventure is so damn good.

Why Escape From L.A. is awesome!

Intro: The first time I became aware of Escape From L.A. was in the lobby of my local movie theatre in the late winter/early spring of 1996. There, in the “coming soon” movie poster section was that badass poster of Russell as Snake, sitting on the motorcycle, with the title “Snake Is Back.” I had no idea that Russell was doing another Snake Plissken movie. And since this was before I had access to the internets in any way, shape, or form, I hadn’t read anything about Russell and director John Carpenter doing another Escape movie (I don’t remember reading anything in any genre movie magazine at the time, either). So, as soon as I stopped flipping out that Snake Plissken was coming back, I went into research overload. When it was coming out? Who else was in it? What was the movie about? What the heck was Snake Plissken going to be doing in this second cinematic adventure?

Well, unfortunately, even in full on nerd research mode I still couldn’t find out much about the movie. Again, I didn’t have access to the internets at the time and the genre movie magazines I was buying didn’t have much at all about the movie (I want to say I saw a little bit about the movie in the now long gone Cinescape magazine and something in the old Sci-Fi Channel magazine but I could be wrong about that. I know that Fangoria did something, but it was one of those one page story deals). I was able to find out that Escape From L.A. (I now had a full title for the movie, too) was coming out later that summer, in August. So I marked that down and waited for the movie trailer or the “real” movie poster or the TV interviews that would, no doubt, start showing up. Eventually, a half hour “making of” appeared on HBO and I finally got a look at what the heck the movie was about. It was going to be bigger than Escape From New York, it was going to be more action packed, and it was going to be cool as all hooha (Carpenter said during the show that L.A. was the “biggest kick-ass movie I’ve ever done,” and that was a big statement coming from the guy that did Big Trouble in Little China).

So I made a serious effort to see Escape From L.A. on opening weekend. I saw it on that Saturday (it wasn’t a good idea to see a movie on opening day where I was at the time as you’d never get near the theatre). And from the second it started I was in awe of it. The action, the music, the attitude, it was all so awesome and perfect. It was the best movie that I saw that summer, with Ahnold Schwarzenegger’s Eraser second and The Rock third (Kingpin and Cemetery Man tied for fourth). Snake Plissken really was back. I wanted to see it again. I didn’t get that chance in a movie theatre, but when it hit home video I rented the fuck out of it. That first weekend I watched L.A. four times.

And when it hit HBO? I recorded it three times and still watched it just about every single time I was aware of it being on, even in the wee hours of the morning. Obsessed much? Absolutely. But this was Escape From L.A., man. Snake Plissken was goddamn back. How could I not watch?

So why is Escape From L.A. awesome?

Reasons

–It’s another movie featuring Kurt Russell as Snake Plissken: At that time Kurt Russel was four things to me. He was Jack Burton from Big Trouble in Little China, Dean Profit from Overboard, Cash from Tango & Cash, and the eyepatch wearing badass that rescued the President of the United States from Isaac Hayes in Escape From New York. It baffled me at the time that, outside of Overboard, the world didn’t have multiple Burton, Cash, and Plissken adventures. For whatever reason, while those movies were all popular and on TV all of the time there didn’t seem to be much interest from anyone with any influence to make sequels. So, when I became aware of L.A. it was a big freaking deal. We were finally going to get a Kurt Russell character sequel.

Now, when we first see Plissken in EFLA he really doesn’t look any different from the last time we saw him. Yes, he does look a little older, but he’s still wearing the same clothing, he has the same kind of hair, and he still sounds the same. He doesn’t quite move as quick as the younger Plissken did in EFNY but, overall, Snake Plissken is still basically the same guy in 1996/2013 that he was in 1981/1997.

And then we see Plissken in action. L.A. is faster with more gunplay, so Plissken has to adapt. And, man, does he adapt. As soon as he sees his target he jumps into the fight and he never lets up. That’s what Snake Plissken does. He adapts, he fights, he kicks ass, and he somehow figures out how to come out on top despite the odds against him.

Snake was back, and Russell looked like he was having the time of his life wearing the eyepatch again.

–It’s a badass action flick: One of the biggest complaints about Escape From L.A. is that it’s too similar to Escape From New York in terms of its plot and, to a certain extent, story beats. While that is essentially true I think people really need to re-examine both movies and recognize what they’re really all about. New York is more of a suspense movie chock full of moody darkness. It’s almost like a horror movie. Escape From L.A., though, is an action movie through and through. From the second it starts, with its rock version of the Escape From New York theme and its explanation of the earthquake that separates Los Angeles from America you can tell that L.A. is going to be a different experience. And it is. It’s an action flick.

The submarine sequence, a full on CGI sequence, is chock full of speed and destruction. When Snake lands in L.A., starts walking around, and then tries to assassinate villain Cuervo Jones, holy shit, it’s amazing. The bit where Snake steals the motorcycle and jumps it into the back of a moving pick-up truck, how can you not jump and cheer at that moment? It’s one of the greatest motorcycle jump sequences ever committed to film, and a good chunk of it is CGI. That makes it even more amazing.

And as you look at the rest of the movie, there are fist fights, explosions, chases, a fucking hang glider attack, and more explosions. New York really didn’t have any of that stuff.

So L.A. really is different from New York. Again, go ahead and watch both movies again. Pay close attention to what you actually see. They’re similar, yes, but they are not the same movie.

–It has a political axe to grind: Escape From L.A. is one of the most openly political movies of the last thirty years. It takes major shots at politics, culture, and religion and it doesn’t shy away from doing any of it. The United States in the movie is a fascist Christian dictatorship that stifles people under its endless rules and need for “morality.” It isn’t a nice place. But then the L.A. prison, where you can do pretty much whatever you want, is a dystopian hellhole ruled by psychopaths and criminals. It isn’t a nice place, either. So, in the end, no matter what, we’re all screwed because neither side is, for the lack of a better word, good.

Now, I do think that Carpenter is sympathetic to the people trapped in the L.A. prison that aren’t trying to kill anyone or take over the United States and rule the world and all that. They’re all like Plissken, a guy who just wants to live his life. You don’t bother him, he won’t bother you. But then they’re all stuck in a world where they either have jackbooted assholes rounding them up because they’re “trash” and “don’t follow the rules,” or they’re being attacked by gun toting dope fiends and alpha male gang leaders in the “free” place. What kind of freedom is there when, no matter what, you’re surrounded by people who just want to fuck with you?

EFLA is now twenty years old and yet, much like Carpenter’s other political movie, They Live, it’s still just as important and relevant as it was then. Think about it. How many people are there in this country and on this planet who do nothing but try to find ways to fuck with people? Politics, culture, religion; in the end it’s all the same bullshit.

And what movie since EFLA has had the balls to do the following conversation:

Commander Malloy: “The United States is a no smoking nation. No smoking, no drinking, no drugs, no women, unless, of course, you’re married. No guns, no foul language, no red meat.”

Snake Plissken: “Land of the free.”

–Stacy Keach and Cliff Robertson are brilliant in it: Keach is Commander Malloy, the head of the United States Police Force in Los Angeles, and Robertson is the ultra-right wing Christian psycho President of the United States. Robertson’s President is a bit of a cartoon because he’s so over the top and such a madman, but then the President, in this world, is supposed to be an over-the-top madman. What other kind of person would be President-for-life and pray all of the time while saying “goddamn” more often than not?

Keach’s Malloy is a little more subtle. He’s a soldier through and through and seems to believe in the world ruled by Robertson’s President, but at the same time he’s a little more realistic and world-weary. His comment about the 20th century being “the good old days,” you get the impression that he really believes that and if he had a chance to go back to that time he would. And when Plissken enters L.A. and Malloy loses track of him Malloy doesn’t panic and deem the infiltration mission a failure. He tells the President to be patient, to wait, because he knows that Plissken has a knack for getting out of tough spots.

And think about the moment where Malloy actually stands up to the President and tells him no, to think about what he’s doing. Would a complete believer do that? I don’t think so.

Keach and Robertson are just so great in this movie. They deserved endless praise back in 1996 when the movie premiered, and they both deserve endless praise today. Their performances still rock.

–Cuervo Jones is a great villain: As played by George Corraface, Cuervo Jones is a charismatic psycho that just oozes the kind of cool that appeals to people looking for “cool” stuff to believe in. He hates fascists, he wants to take on the U.S. and its imperialism, and he wants people to live in “freedom.” Of course, he’s also an unrepentant killer and a gang leader who really just wants to rule the world. He also looks like Che Guevara, which helps in the charisma department (and it’s a great jab at the left).

While I love Isaac Hayes in EFNY as the Duke of New York, he isn’t as interesting as Cuervo Jones. The Duke is scary because he rules with an iron fist. Cuervo rules like a strongman, but he doesn’t seem to instill the outright fear that the Duke does. It’s almost like he doesn’t care if anyone knows that he’s the man, although he will make you know that he is the man when the time is right. And Cuervo’s bullshit is funnier. Think about the scene where he shuts down Lynchburg, Virginia, the new U.S. capital. Those people “without a country” standing behind him are not there because Cuervo cares about them. They’re props and nothing more. The Duke probably wouldn’t do that.

I’m surprised that Corraface didn’t get more action movie villain work after EFLA. Or hero work for that matter. I bet he would have a great body of work at the moment.

–Bruce Campbell is in it: He’s only in the movie for one scene as the plastic surgery cult leader and wacko the Surgeon General of Beverly Hills, but it’s a great scene and shows you that, even with a small role, Bruce Campbell can kick ass no matter what. Even under heavy Rick Baker make-up, you can tell that Campbell is having the time of his life mugging for the camera. He also gets to briefly fondle Valeria Golino (“My God, they’re real!”) and his “one blue eye” line is still T-shirt ready to this day.

Now, would it have been awesome if the Surgeon General showed up again later in the movie? Absolutely. But the stuff that we have now is still amazing stuff. Has anyone made an action figure out of this character yet? Anyone know?

–The tsunami scene: Yes, I know that this scene is ridiculous, but I fail to see why the scene is bad because of that. I mean, come on, it’s Snake Plissken and Peter Fonda surfing in the middle of Los Angeles. How can that not be one of the greatest things ever committed to film? It is, and if you don’t like it you really need to take the stick out of your ass and start to enjoy life more.

–Pam Grier: Pam Grier plays Hershe Las Palmas, a transsexual criminal that seems to have a similar reputation to Cuervo Jones. She has a gang (Saigon Shadows), she has believers, and she’s a bit of a psycho (we don’t get to see that part of her personality but people keep talking about it so it must be true). But before she was Hershe, she was Carjack Malone, an old buddy of Plissken’s (they were fellow criminals back in the day). The look on Plissken’s face when he hears Hershe’s deep voice is priceless.

Hershe is the kind of character that wouldn’t happen today because someone would be offended by her, either humorless trans activists or religious fanatics who hate trans people. Grier gives her the kind of screen presence that a lesser actress just couldn’t achieve even if she gave it her all. Grier totally goes for it and makes you remember her. The lower voice helps, too, although I believe that’s audio trickery more than Grier. But she sells that, too, and makes it work.

It’s too bad what happened to her at the end of the movie. Although, who knows, maybe we didn’t see her fall out of the helicopter while on fire? Maybe she landed somewhere, still alive and fabulous, and ready to rule Los Angeles Island. I mean, that could have happened, right?

–The soundtrack: Carpenter collaborated with composer Shirley Walker for the second time on Escape From L.A. (they worked together on Memoirs of an Invisible Man before EFLA) and they created a film score that will stand the test of time. It’s a good mix of the simple yet brilliant work that Carpenter has always been known for (a mix of synthesizers and guitar work) and a full orchestral section put together by Walker. The orchestral stuff makes the movie seem and feel bigger but is driving, just like the stuff Carpenter is known for. Carpenter’s stuff, like the opening rock theme and the “Snakes Uniform” theme are just so good and so badass that you can’t stop listening to it.

Here, check out “Snake’s Uniform” below and revel in its awesomeness.

I’m also a big fan of the sequence where Snake and Cuervo fight and then crawl to grab the Sword of Damocles remote control and there’s that mix of Walker and Carpenter themes. Watch the movie, wait for that scene, and be prepared to have your ass kicked by it.

–”Shot clock”: This is another “ridiculous” scene that people hate for some reason. I just don’t see how you can hate it. Cuervo Jones forces Snake Plissken to make ten points without missing a shot, something no one has ever done until Snake gets on the court and makes five shots in a row, including a full court shot that still makes me stand up and cheer when I watch the movie. The slow motion, the final swish sound as the ball goes through the net, it’s all so great.

Go ahead, laugh if you want, but the scene kicks ass.

–Bangkok rules: This is probably the most badass scene in the entire movie. It’s so simple yet so brilliant. Snake Plissken up against multiple gun-toting gang members. He gets them to participate in an Old West gun duel. And Snake outsmarts them in the end.

“Draw!” fucking indeed.

–The ending is so damn good and messed up: How often do you see a movie’s hero destroy civilization? It happens very rarely, if ever. Escape From L.A. is the one that always pops up in my mind when I think about movies that end with the world in serious disarray. Snake Plissken, still pissed off about being messed with at the beginning of the movie, follows through on his promise to get back at his captors. Shutting down the Earth with the Sword of Damocles weaponized satellite system probably wasn’t Snake’s plan at first, but it sort of just happened that way because, well, it was what was available at the time.

Now, isn’t shutting down the entire Earth a major dick move? Sure. But then what do you expect when you fuck with a guy like Snake Plissken? After shutting everything off and down Plissken will finally get the chance to do what he wants, just disappear. Who the heck is going to come after him?

Of course, I’ve always suspected that there’s a chance that the Sword of Damocles “666” code didn’t really shut everything off around the world. Think about what Hershe tells Plissken about the Plutoxin-7 virus, the virus that Plissken is injected with that’s supposed to kill him. What is Plutoxin-7? A hard hitting case of the flu that stops working after ten hours. It doesn’t kill you. “Rumor control government propaganda, just one more lie!” Maybe the SoD just shuts everything off for a little bit. Maybe the EMP pulse really isn’t an EMP pulse, but some other kind of pulse. That’s possible, isn’t it?

The ending also has one of the greatest speeches in action movie history, given by Snake Plissken right before he shuts down the world: “Hold it. Shut down the Third World, they lose, you win. Shut down America, you lose, they win. The more things change the more they stay the same. So what are you going to do? Disappear.” That about sums up the movie, doesn’t it?

Great stuff all around.

Conclusion

I know that I’m not supposed to like Escape From L.A.. It’s a “bad” movie, too similar to Escape From New York, etc. It didn’t set the box office on fire when it came out (although, when you look at the summer of 1996, by the time EFLA came out movie going audiences had already seen Twister, The Rock, Eraser, and Independence Day, among many other big movies that rocked the box office. Audiences were likely tired by that time and figured they had already “seen everything”). So it must be bad.

It isn’t. It’s awesome. Escape From L.A. is a modern classic through and through and in dire need of a re-examination. It really is one of Carpenter’s best efforts as a director and a movie that needs to be celebrated instead of vilified.

Escape From L.A.. See it, experience it, check it out, make it a part of your life. It really is as awesome as I’ve said.

“Snake! Snake! Snake! Snake!”

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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column: The Facebook Page!

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Things to Watch Out For This Week

–American Ninja 1-4: The American Ninja franchise is one of this writer’s favorite things in the whole world, and the fine folks at Olive Films have decided to release the first four movies on special edition Blu-rays and DVDs (well, I know that the Blu-rays are special editions, I’m not sure about the DVDs). This is a big deal for two reasons. First, the American Ninja franchise is getting special edition Blu-rays. That’s amazing and something I thought I would never see (it would seem that the American Ninja franchise would have already had several home video special editions by now since they’re so popular). And second, Olive Films very rarely, if ever, puts special features on anything it releases. The fact that we’re getting commentaries and documentary featurettes from them is insanely cool. So if you’re an American Ninja nerd be sure to pick these up. I’m sure they’ll be well worth the price.

–Beta Test: This is apparently some sort of low budget sci-fi action flick where the world of video games encroaches on the real world or something. I’m surprised that this kind of plot hasn’t been used more often since video games are such a big deal. Anyone out there see this? Is it as awesome as it appears to be?

–Hotel Hell: This low budget horror flick was originally known as The Damned Thing, a very cool title that, for some reason, was pushed out in favor of Hotel Hell. The demonic clown that’s featured on the DVD cover is one of the stories, although it sure seems like the cover wants me to believe that the movie is about a hotel haunted by a demonic clown. Anyway, this looks pretty rentable, and I’m interested to see just how the whole thing plays itself out.

–RZ-9: This mega low budget sci-fi flick was originally known as Military State, which, to me, is a better title than RZ-9 because what the hell does RZ-9 mean? Anyway, despite its apparent super low budget the movie looks ambitious and kind of cool (the costumes look amazing in the trailer). And the CGI looks okay, too. Definitely worth renting to check it out.

–Sharkenstein: How can you not want to see a movie called Sharkenstein? I mean, yes, it looks incredibly low budget and kind of cheesy, but, come on, it’s freaking called Sharkenstein. This is an absolute must see. The fine folks at Wild Eye Releasing are putting it out.

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The Big Question: What should appear on a hypothetical Escape From L.A. special edition DVD?

Unlike Escape From New York, which has had two special edition home video editions (one released by MGM, one released via Shout! Factory), Escape From L.A. hasn’t received the special edition DVD/Blu-ray treatment… yet. L.A. has been released a few times on DVD by Paramount Home Video and, I believe, at least once on Blu-ray, but the only special feature on any of those releases has been the movie’s trailer. No commentary track, no documentaries or featurettes, no anything beyond the trailer. You’d think that, by now, someone would have put together and released some sort of special edition DVD of the movie, maybe one with that behind the scenes documentary that aired on HBO back when the movie was released in theatres. So what should a hypothetical EFLA special edition DVD look like?

Well, first, it should have a commentary track featuring John Carpenter and Kurt Russell. Carpenter/Russell commentary tracks are always a hoot to listen to and it would be cool to hear them together once again jabbering on about the movie they made so many years ago. And then it would be cool to hear them likely get off topic and start talking about their families like they did on the track they did for Big Trouble in Little China. I doubt we’ll ever get a commentary track for the Elvis movie they did together (I don’t know why, I just don’t think it will ever happen), so an L.A. track would be a pretty dang awesome fourth DVD special feature for the good friends. I know fans and nerds the world over would love to hear it.

Second, a comprehensive behind-the-scenes documentary covering the entire production. How did the script come together? When did Carpenter, Russell, and producer Debra Hill really figure out they could make a second Snake Plissken movie? How did the special effects come together? The soundtrack? Why was the movie not a box office success? A real documentary could look into all of that. I’d also like to see that HBO documentary again.

Third, a little featurette on the rock album that had White Zombie and the Butthole Surfers, among others, on it. The CD cover for that album was the awesome “Snake is Back” teaser poster with Plissken on the motorcycle. I mean, how did that whole album come together? Who decided that White Zombie’s “The One” should be the song over the end credits?

A little featurette explaining how New York and L.A. are similar and different. Everyone seems to think that L.A. is really just a remake of New York. So why not show us how it is and how it really isn’t?

And, of course, every trailer and commercial made for the movies advertising. That “Bangkok Rules” scene was in damn near every TV commercial I saw for the movie.

If Paramount doesn’t want to put out a special edition DVD of EFLA the fine folks at Shout! Factory should be allowed to do it. Or Arrow. Or maybe Olive Films of Kino Lorber. I’m sure they’d all do a great job. Shout would be my ultimate choice, though, because you know that we would get a boxed set of New York and L.A., which would be just so great. But, again, I’m sure they’d all do a great job with a special edition.

Maybe this will happen soon. EFLA seems to be gaining more and more respect as the years go on. It still isn’t held in the high regard that New York is and probably never will, but Escape From L.A. is still an awesome goddamn movie and it needs a special edition DVD of some sort.

And so do we, the movie’s fan base. Because, you know, we love the movie and want it to receive the home video respect that it deserves.

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B-Movie News

–David Fincher possibly directing the World War Z sequel?: Well, that’s the rumor. Fincher and WWZ star Brad Pitt are friends and frequent collaborators (they’ve made three movies together), so, at least in that respect, this could be true and could potentially happen. But does anyone seriously believe that Fincher the auteur would want to make a sequel to a zombie movie that, while a decent sized hit, wasn’t all that great to begin with? I just don’t see this happening. In the end, Pitt and his producing partners will likely find a music video guy or some new hip and edgy TV guy to make the WWZ sequel because that’s what always happens.

But then, as the Daily News pointed out, maybe Fincher really is looking into working on World War Z< part 2 because he doesn’t have anything else going on at the moment. HBO bailed out on two of his TV shows, House of Cards probably doesn’t need him to do much of anything as it sounds like that show is a well-oiled machine, and, as far as we know, he doesn’t have any movies lined up to direct. Maybe Fincher is tired of trying to win a major award and just wants to make a really expensive zombie movie. He hasn’t made that kind of movie yet.

In the end, I just don’t know. It would be cool to see a major director take on a World War Z sequel, but then I just can’t see David Fincher wanting to do it.

Anyone out there disagree? How do you think a Fincher led WWZ 2 actually happens?

–Resident Evil: The Final Chapter trailer released: I know that I’m not supposed to like the Resident Evil movies because of the presence of Paul W.S. Anderson and, well, other stuff, but I love them, even Afterlife, the least of the five movies released so far. The sixth movie, The Final Chapter, is set to be released in January 2017 and, man, does it look pretty dang cool. We’ve got Milla Jovovich’s Alice riding around on a motorcycle, gun fights, kung fu, explosions, monsters, post-apocalyptic bullstuff, zombies everywhere, and knife fighting; in short, it has everything. I can’t wait to see it. I am a little sad, though, that it will apparently be the last one. I really wanted Resident Evil to be one of those franchises that keeps going on and ends only when it stops making money. I mean, it’s not like anyone else is making Resident Evil type movies that get released in movie theatres, so Resident Evil movies are a goddamn event.

I hope The Final Chapter kicks ass and that the series, if it is actually ending, goes out with a serious bang. I’ll be checking it out when it hits theatres. Will you?

Go ahead, watch the trailer and tell yourself you don’t want to see it. You’ll be lying to yourself.

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Who is this week’s Douchebag of the Week? Go here and find out!

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Next Issue: This time it’s actually going to happen, the low budget made-for-TV movie event of the summer- Sharknado: The 4th Awakens!

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Check out my review of david j. moore’s The Good, the Tough, and the Deadly here!

Check out my interview with the man hisself david j. moore here!

Check out the interview I did with the great Jino Kang here!

Check out my interview with character actor Vladimir Kulich here!

Check out my interview with martial artist and actor Paul Mormando here!

Check out my interview with writer/actor/director Shahin Sean Solimon here!

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Follow me on Twitter!

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Well, I think that’ll be about it for now. Don’t forget to sign up with disqus if you want to comment on this article and any other 411 article. You know you want to, so just go do it.

B-movies rule. Always remember that.