Q. My daughter is getting married in 5 months with a guest list of 200 people. My husband and I are not paying for the wedding, and my mother-in-law is insisting that her brother and other relatives that are close to her (my daughter sees these people once every two years) be invited. My daughter would rather have close friends at the wedding than these relatives.  What do I do?

A. You need not do anything except support your daughter and her fiance’s decision. Whomever is the host of the wedding (whomever is paying for it) generally has a “say” in who is included on the guest list, so unless your mother-in-law is contributing financially to the wedding, she should simply abide by your daughter’s wishes. You can talk to your mother-in-law and explain the situation, and stress the fact that your daughter would like to include close friends rather than distant relatives with whom she does not have a close relationship. Best wishes!

Q. I am planning a destination wedding. As friends and family will be going to expense to travel and participate, how should the issue of gifts be handled? I feel that their participation is gift enough, but do not know how to handle expectations.

A. There are a couple of considerations for your dilemma. First, it isn’t correct to mention gifts on your wedding invitation. Second, wedding gifts go back as far as weddings themselves, and friends and relatives want to celebrate a wedding with a gift. Keeping this in mind, you can do two things. First, register for gifts for those who would appreciate the guidance.   Second, tell your attendants, parents and siblings that if anyone asks, they can tell them where you are registered, but that you really, really don’t want gifts, and especially not from those who are already expending funds just to be with you on your wedding day. Word of mouth is about the only way wedding gifts are discussed. You and your fiancé can say the same thing if anyone asks you directly.