Marriage rituals
The rituals and ceremonies surrounding marriage in most cultures are associated primarily with fecundity and validate the importance of marriage for the continuation of a clan, people, or society. They also assert a familial or communal sanction of the mutual choice and an understanding of the difficulties and sacrifices involved in making what is considered, in most cases, to be a lifelong commitment to and responsibility for the welfare of spouse and children.
Marriage ceremonies include symbolic rites, often sanctified by a religious order, which are thought to confer good fortune on the couple. Because economic considerations play an essential role in the success of child rearing, the offering of gifts, both real and symbolic, to the married couple are a significant part of the marriage ritual. Where the exchange of goods is extensive, either from the bride’s family to the bridegroom’s or vice versa, this usually indicates that the freedom to choose one’s marital partner has been limited and determined by the families of the betrothed.
Fertility rites intended to ensure a fruitful marriage exist in some form in all ceremonies. Some of the oldest rituals still to be found in contemporary ceremonies include the prominent display of fruits or of cereal grains that may be sprinkled over the couple or on their nuptial bed, the accompaniment of a small child with the bride, and the breaking of an object or food to ensure a successful consummation of the marriage and an easy childbirth.
The most universal ritual is one that symbolizes a sacred union. This may be expressed by the joining of hands, an exchange of rings or chains, or the tying of garments. However, all the elements in marriage rituals vary greatly among different societies, and components such as time, place, and the social importance of the event are fixed by tradition and habit.
These traditions are, to a certain extent, shaped by the religious beliefs and practices found in societies throughout the world. In the Hindu tradition, for example, weddings are highly elaborate affairs, involving several prescribed rituals. Marriages are generally arranged by the parents of the couple, and the date of the ceremony is determined by careful astrological calculations. Among most Buddhists marriage remains primarily a secular affair, even though the Buddha offered guidelines for the responsibilities of lay householders.
In Judaism marriage is believed to have been instituted by God and is described as making the individual complete. Marriage involves a double ceremony, which includes the formal betrothal and wedding rites (prior to the 12th century the two were separated by as much as one year). The modern ceremony begins with the groom signing the marriage contract before a group of witnesses. He is then led to the bride’s room, where he places a veil on her. This is followed by the ceremony under the huppa (a canopy that symbolizes the bridal bower), which involves the reading of the marriage contract, the seven marriage benedictions, the groom’s placing a ring on the bride’s finger (in Conservative and Reform traditions the double ring ceremony has been introduced), and, in most communities, the crushing of a glass under foot. After the ceremony the couple is led into a private room for seclusion, which symbolizes the consummation of the marriage.
From its beginnings, Christianity has emphasized the spiritual nature and indissolubility of marriage. Jesus Christ spoke of marriage as instituted by God, and most Christians consider it a permanent union based upon mutual consent. Some Christian churches count marriage as one of the sacraments; other Christians confirm the sanctity of marriage but do not identify it as a sacrament. Since the Middle Ages, Christian weddings have taken place before a priest or minister, and the ceremony involves the exchange of vows, readings from Scripture, a blessing, and, sometimes, the eucharistic rite.
In Islam marriage is not strictly a sacrament but is always understood as a gift from God or a kind of service to God. The basic Islamic tenets concerning marriage are laid out in the Qurʾān, which states that the marital bond rests on “mutual love and mercy” and that spouses are “each other’s garments.” Muslim men may have up to four wives at one time (though they seldom do), but the wives must all be treated equitably. Marriages are traditionally contracted by the father or guardian of the bride and her intended husband, who must offer his bride the mahr, a payment offered as a gift to guarantee her financial independence.