The Spy Next Door

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A former CIA spy takes on a tough assignment by babysitting his girlfriend's three children...

Margaret: David:

The Spy Next Door

Rated PG

Review by David Stratton

Another unorthodox babysitter makes it to the screens this week in THE SPY NEXT DOOR where we're asked to believe that JACKIE CHAN is a member of the Communist Chinese Secret Service on secondment to the CIA. That's a stretch to begin with, but wait, there's more! He's assigned to hunt out Russian spies in, of all places, Alburquerque, New Mexico!!!

CHAN'S character, Bob Ho, poses as a pen salesman as cover for his spying activities, and has fallen in love with next door neighbour Gillian, AMBER VALLETTA. But her three kids hate him, not because he's Chinese but because he's boring, a geek, a total drone - they think...

But the kids change their minds about Bob when they become involved in his mission...

This ridiculous film is a sad viewing experience. JACKIE CHAN has made some of the best martial arts films in cinema history - he's an engaging, warm, talented personality. But not here. The woeful screenplay, the mundane direction, by Brian Levant, and the indifferent acting all combine to sink a stupid plot which should never have got off the ground.

Chan's stunts are pathetic re-runs of stuff he did better when he, and we, were younger.

Further comments

DAVID: Margaret?

MARGARET: I notice he's got stand-in stunt performers in this.

DAVID: Stand-in, I know. Jackie Chan never did that.

MARGARET: And he used to be ... that was his claim to fame that he did them all himself, you know.

DAVID: I know. Yes.

MARGARET: And suffered in the process.

DAVID: Indeed he did, Yes.

MARGARET: Look, I think this move to America has been a bad thing. I don't think he's made very impressive films here in America...

DAVID: That's because they've dumbed him down.

MARGARET: ...and this is the nadir. And I sort of - I really loathe the thought of going to another Jackie Chan film and after coming out of this one I swore I'd never see another, which is most unprofessional of me.

DAVID: It's very unprofessional of you. But you can always go back and see the old ones, because the old ones are great.

MARGARET: Well, I just think he's not as comfortable in English. It's so corny, this film.

DAVID: Yes, it's just stupid.

MARGARET: The stunts are so obvious. The jokes...

DAVID: Yes. Yes. Why are we wasting time talking about it?

MARGARET: And the kids are so obnoxious. I do not want to spend time with these people. Look, honestly I was so disappointed in this. I'm giving it half a star.

DAVID: I'm giving it one, which is double your score.