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26 January
Tuesday

Mad Man To Become Less Gay, In a World Where Less Means “Not At All”

SAL-MAD-MEN-MANSPORT-BACK-PACK

Guess what thing just became a little less gay? And by less, we mean it will never be gay again (unless, by some miracle, Don ends up in a mano-a-mano-lady-somewhere 3Some.) That’s right, it’s Mad Men. Word broke today that (spoiler?) actor Bryan Batt, better known as the flamingly g Salvatore Romano, has not been asked back to be a part of Season 4 of Mad Men. Quothe TV Guide Magazine:

fleetings-and-salutationsWith the shooting of Season 4 set to begin in March, Bryan Batt is worried that he’s out of a job. “I was supposed to be notified by December 31, and nothing,” says the actor.

It sounds as though Bryan’s concerns are warranted. “We don’t murder people on our show, but for there to be any stakes, there have to be consequences,” says creator Matthew Weiner, a former Sopranos scribe who has killed at will. Losing Bryan, he says, “was a tough moment for the show, but that’s where we are. I know how people felt about Bryan. I obviously love working with him, and he has been an indelible character since the pilot. But I felt it was an expression of the times that he couldn’t work there anymore. It’s the ultimate case of sexual harassment.”

No Salvatore? Blaspheme. Salvatore and his closeted ways were one of the most touching and sad things about last season. And some of his love scenes rivaled Don and Betty’s in the Steaminess-OMG-Is-This-Happening? category. While we understand Weiner’s reasoning (heh), we still can’t imagine that there isn’t some sort of well-decorated gay loophole out there that would allow for the return of Salvatore. Who is going to bring us showtunes and joy next season??? Cosgrove? No thanks. Please find a way to bring back Sal, even if it’s as the local Johnny Cakes cook.

TTFN, Sal.

salvatore waving gif

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26 January
Tuesday

We Don’t Have To Stop Posting Conan Videos Just Because He’s Off The Air

For the past two weeks, we’ve been posting non-stop Conan Tonight Show videos to chronicle two of the most turbulent, memorable weeks in television history during which something significant or hilarious happened just about every night.

Even though Conan’s off the air now, we can’t just quit cold turkey; here to ease us into this transitional period between constant Conan clips and no Conan clips is a classic, pointless Late Night bit, Jar Barf:



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25 January
Monday

Conan’s Final Money-Wasting Prank: $500,000 For Tom Hanks’ Entrance Music

During his final Tonight Show week, Conan O’Brien made a point to “waste” NBC’s money with a series of gags designed to be expensive as possible for no reason. The gags — such as Kentucky Derby winner Mine That Bird wearing a mink Snuggie and watching restricted Super Bowl footage — were amusing, but, as Conan pointed out to quell online rumblings of “I can’t believe you wasted money like that!!!”, they were fake.

However, in Conan’s final episode, the band welcomed Tom Hanks to the stage by playing The Beatles’ “Lovely Rita” — a subtle homage to Hanks’ wife Rita Wilson, as us nerds made a point to yell out to everyone in the room to make sure they knew we knew this — a song which, according to NBC band peer Questlove of The Roots, costs $500,000 to cover on-air.

It probably costs NBC even more to continue hosting the Beatles cover on Hulu, but whattdya know, here it is:

It’s no “$25 million” for a giant sloth fossil vomiting Beluga caviar onto an original Picasso, but still, $500,000 for ten seconds of entrance music? Even if that’s an overestimate, it looks like Conan really did successfully waste NBC’s money in one last-ditch effort.

Hopefully the Beatles got at least the full million for this ad.

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21 January
Thursday

Let The Lost Viral Promotional Overkill Commence: Milk Carton T-Shirt

Because I’m a savvy pop culture insider with all the inside info on the insides of inside, I can predict, with incredible, unique insight, that people are going to be talking about Lost on the internet in the next couple weeks. Boom! Free insider information. And you didn’t even have to subscribe to BWE.tv Insider to read it (just $99.50 / month).

Let’s get the Lost viral promotional ball rolling (through time!) with this Oceanic 815 Milk Carton T-Shirt:

Lost Milk Carton T-Shirt

Not sure why the milk is Dharma brand, but who cares it’s Lost things!!! Remember Lost? It’s coming back soon! More like, Found, by our eyes and ears, it will be!

(via /Film)

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20 January
Wednesday

Norm Macdonald Stops By The Tonight Show To Give His Belated Congratulations

Conan mainstay Norm Macdonald graciously stopped by the Tonight Show last night to finally congratulate Conan on securing his place in history and to deliver the gift basket he’s been meaning to deliver for the past few (eight) months.

Wherever Conan ends up in this crazy workaday world, Norm is likely gonna follow, so really, we’re all gonna be fine:

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15 January
Friday

James Franco Appears On 30 Rock To Reaffirm That He Is NOT In Love With A Pillow

Just as 30 Rock nails the innerworkings of a tv station on a weekly basis (with such accuracy, I’ll forever be convinced all tv stations are exactly as they say), so, too, can 30 Rock nail the realm of celebrity gossip with this week’s arranged tabloid relationship between Jenna and guest star James Franco.

Here’s a clip from part one of last night’s 30 Rock double bill, “Klaus And Greta”, in which James Franco meets Jenna for the first time and continually reaffirms how much he is definitely not in love with a body pillow:

(It’s just the full episode embed queued up to the first James Franco part. If you leave it playing, you can just watch the whole episode again, as I’m currently doing.)

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15 January
Friday

Conan Puts The Tonight Show On Craigslist

Last night, Conan O’Brien announced he was putting the Tonight Show up for grabs on Craigslist:

Tonight Show Craigslist Ad

Anyone who wants a talk show for at least a couple days, better act fast! Unfortunately, given NBC’s recent transpirings, the Tonight Show brand is now essentially worthless. If I’m shelling out any money on Craigslist, it’s gonna be for something more reliable, like a bedbug-ridden Wal-Mart futon or sex with eight dudes on a bedbug ridden Wal-Mart futon.

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14 January
Thursday

RECAP: ‘American Idol’ Season 9 Goes Viral; Gets Their Pants On The Ground

IDOL-JUDGES-RELAXING-2

I believe it was the great Twitter account of Dave Holmes who once said ” I am not emotionally prepared for the return of American Idol.” None of us were, Dave, and yet here it is, American Idol, Season 9, all new in two thousand and ten… and yet so strangely unfamiliar.

This week has already felt different, restrained and uncomfortable, like a pair of skinny jeans after Christmas, as perhaps our most beloved Idol judge Paula Abdul was no longer around, instead replaced by a Schindler’s List extra and Mary J. Blige. While Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham did little other than complimenting people’s looks and sucking 4 cubic centimeters of carbon dioxide out of the room, Mary J. Blige on the other hand brought the “LOLs,” as they say, with her consistent restrained laughter. She induced tears out of herself, and may have even pulled her back out, trying as she did not to hurt any feelings while simultaneously sh*tting in her pants dying laughing. It wasn’t Paula, but it would do.

Kara, on the other hand, has really amped up her “affectation and annoyance” settings this season. She needs to stop dancing and talking and generally trying to be the center of attention during the auditions, because it’s not entertaining, it’s f**king distracting. She’s like an ingrown hair you just can’t quite pluck.

Also, Ryan Seacrest got rid of his highlights. In the words of our favorite QVC shopper to Puff Daddy: “MM. I like it.”

This will be the last season with our favorite judge Simon Cowell, who, in the immortal words of Danny Glover, is “Gettin too old for this sh*t.” Aren’t we all. Oh ps, he’ll be back as a judge on X Factor, slogan “It’s just like Idol, but with menopause!”

Then you had the contestants…

(Click ahead for more of our American Idol Season 9 Premiere Week Recap)

(more…)

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14 January
Thursday

DVR The Crap Out Of It Alert: Human Giant Marathon On Comedy Central This Saturday

For those of you who missed Season Two of MTV’s sketch show Human Giant last year because no one knows when anything’s on MTV ever (also when is that network gonna play some more music videos, you know what I mean???), Comedy Central is airing all of Human Giant Seasons 1 and 2 in order this coming Saturday night for your viewing / DVRing pleasure.

Fortunately, the Ken Burns National Parks series got deleted off my DVR while I was away for Christmas, thus freeing me up to actually record stuff again while saving myself the embarrassment of admitting that I’d never actually end up watching such a literate and informative program.

If you haven’t seen Human Giant or you’re just rusty, brush up with the “Carpet Monkey” sketch below:

(via Paul Scheer)

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12 January
Tuesday

Conan Issues Offical Statement, Will Not Move To 12:05, Resumes Slamming NBC

Conan Jar BarfAs much fun as Conan’s not-veiled-in-any-way monologue cracks at NBC have been, the NBC / Leno / clusterf*** took a turn for the sincere today, as Conan issued this official statement rejecting the 12:05 timeslot, explaining his decision, and taking another couple jabs at the network:

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

(more…)

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