Outpour Magazine - Feb. 2021 Issue by Outpour Magazine

OUTPOUR MAGAZINE FOUNDER/EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Krystion Nelson COPY EDITOR Bryndle Bottoms CONTENT EDITOR Joy Shamberger CREATIVE DESIGN EDITOR Donald Currie, 12/24 Media FEATURE PHOTOGRAPHER Donald Currie, 12/24 Media

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THEOLOGY EDITOR Ronald Obie SOCIAL MEDIA GRAPHICS Justice Zimmerman Feb. 2021 CONTRIBUTORS Joy Shamberger Ashley Cooper Tikelia Stennis Nneka Collins Michael Shamberger Published by Issuu Inc. Cover/Article pictures: Envato Elements/Canva CONTACT info@outpourmagazine.com Outpour Magazine, Feb. 2021 (c) All rights reserved. Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible.

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Letter from Editor Krystion Nelson “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths” (Prov. 3:5-6 NKJV). How are you trusting God in this season? Are you trusting Him with your family, with your finances, with your job or your mental capabilities? What about trusting Him for the healing of a loved one, the restoration of a marriage or relationship with a wayward child? Trust Him. Just trust Him. And while you are trusting here are a few other scriptures that will help you get through some difficult times, as they have helped me: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;” (Phil. 4:6 NKJV)

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Founder & Editorial Director

“Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.” (Mark 11:24 NKJV) “But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption—” (1 Cor. 1:30 NKJV)

learn about abundance in dark seasons (page 24), surviving grief (page 26), and the various aspects of repentance (page 35). And lastly, meet Pastors Shomari and Jacque’ White of Have Life Church in Charlotte, NC (page 29). And please don’t forget to subscribe to our FREE magazine at outpourmagazine.com and share with your family and friends! And we’d love to hear from you! How are your trusting God in this season? Contact us and send us prayer requests at info@ outpourmagazine.com. We love you and are praying for you! God Bless!

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matt. 6:33 NKJV) Trust Him friend. No matter what. In this month’s issue, we invite you to meet a loving married couple of 40 years (page 16); learn how to trust God through anything (page 10); and read how to parent and live in a blended family (page 14). Also

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Nneka Collins shows us how to live and parent in a blended family through prayer, commitment and strategy. She lives in TIKELIA STENNIS Charlotte, NC and attends Have Life Church.

Joy Shamberger writes about the many facets of grief and how God is still with you during these times. She lives in High Point, NC and attends Daystar Church.

Ashley Cooper explores the abundance of God, despite our circumstances. She lives in the Charlotte, NC area and attends Transformation church.

Contributors Faithful and Grateful Meet the Writers of this Issue

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Tikelia Stennis shows us how we can trust God through faith and love, no matter what life throws at us. She lives in Charlotte, NC and attends Central Church of God.

Michael Shamberger explores the various aspects of repentance and shows us how we can repent both to God and others. He lives in Fayetteville, NC and attends Deeper Fellowship Church.

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Contents 35

In Every Issue:

THE VARIOUS ASPECTS OF REPENTANCE

FAMILY FEATURE STORY P A G E

PASTOR SPOTLIGHT THE CHRISTIAN BOOKSHELF

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TRUSTING GOD THROUGH HARD THINGS

EDITOR’S LETTER

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Pastor Spotlight

Meet Pastors Shomari and Jacque’ White of Have Life Church in Charlotte, NC.

Facets of Grief

Grief surprises, changes the outlook of the future, causes disillusionment, and ultimately exposes facets of God we may have never experienced before.

Family Feature: Obie Family

Meet Ronald and Vanessa Obie. They talked with us about the faithfulness of God through 40 years of marriage and why loving and serving others is important. SUBSCRIBE AT OUTPOURMAGAZINE.COM

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TRUSTING GOD THROUGH HARD THINGS BY TIKELIA STENNIS He sat there with wrinkles in his little forehead and droopy cheeks. “I can’t do it,” he said. Before he could get all the words out of his mouth, I immediately replied, “Yes you can buddy. You can do hard things!” I had him repeat it after me. I asked him why that was possible. He replied, “because God is with me.” My son then attempted to quote Philippians 4:13 NKJV, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” In that moment I felt the Lord comforting me with the very same words. I tucked them into my heart as I continued to guide him in writing his letters correctly. I may not be new to kindergarten, but I often times feel like I am new to this thing called life. Without me yielding to the Holy Spirit’s gentle guidance and strong hands, I too can feel overwhelmed by defeat. But God’s Word tells us in Romans 8:37 NKJV, “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” The year 2020 has been filled with “hard things” for all of us. Many have had to make life altering decisions, become instant homeschool moms or dads, grieve lost loved ones, or adjust from multiple incomes to one. My dear friend, God has been there with you. He understands your tears and frustrations. There is hope and peace for you.

“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:7 KJV). There have been times that I have knelt down to pray for our nation and world, and my words failed me at the thought of the enormity of the needs. Where do I begin? Which issue should I pray for? Whose name should I call out first? In those moments, I simply cry out for the Holy Spirit to move in the earth. I’ve heard it said before that it’s not the prayer we pray, but the place the prayer comes from. That place is a surrendered heart that loves what God loves and hates what He hates. When we get to that place, the Spirit of God can lead us in our prayers. “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered” (Rom. 8:26 NKJV). He will also lead us to affect change in our areas of influence. At times He may send people across your path in your daily activities that need a glimpse of Him through your smile, encouragement, and just the pureness of His love through your actions. There are two things that can help us all overcome in this season. They are faith and love.

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has everything you need.

Prayer: Father, I thank you for your steady hand. Keep my heart close to yours. When my faith gets weary, remind me of your love. Help me to be a conduit of your love to those around me. Amen. Prayer of Salvation: Jesus, I realize I am a sinner. I ask you to forgive me of my sins. Satan, I denounce you and you no longer have authority in my life. Jesus, I believe that you died and rose again. I accept you as Lord and Savior of my life. Amen.

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Hebrews 11:6 KJV says, “but without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.” If your faith has wavered during these trying times, dig your heels back in. You will find God when you begin to seek Him again. Bring Him your heart with all its emotions. He’s waiting with open arms. According to James 2:21-22 NKJV, “ was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect?” I have learned that God will often allow things to be shaken up to cause us to shift our eyes and hearts back on Him. Despite uncertainties we can be confident like Paul and say, “but none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy….” (Acts 20:24 KJV). We can be steadfast when others may be in panic mode. Just as muscles are built by strength training, so faith is built by knowing and being a doer of God’s Word. If there was ever a time that we needed to build our faith muscles daily, it’s now. Remember, quality over quantity. At times, we may need to chew the same scripture a few days before we are able to fully digest the revelation that God has for us in His Word.

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Love So what does love have to do with it? Absolutely everything! John 3:16 NKJV says, “for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” There is no greater love. And it didn’t stop there. “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8 NKJV). Circumstances around you may unsettle you. You may doubt that you will be able to overcome your hard things. Cling to the God who loves you with an everlasting love. “And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him” (1 John 4:16 NKJV). Dare to trust the One who holds you in the palm of His hands. He

Tikelia Stennis resides in Charlotte, NC. She is an ordained minister and studied Evangelism and Missions at Valor Christian College in Columbus, OH where she was an original member of the Remnant dance ministry. She is the founder of V.I.P (Virtue In Progress) Ladies Connect. She loves dancing and teaching dance, hosting events and spending quality time with her family. She is a servant of Christ, a devoted wife to her husband Carlos, and mother of three beautiful children. Connect with her at tikelialstennis@gmail.com

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“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.’” P A G E 1 3

John 14:6 NIV

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gets the final say? We did not give much thought to these questions until we were married and noticed a change in our children’s attitudes. This attitude shift caused us to look at our family dynamic a little more closely. One of the earliest observations was seen in the way we parent— his love and discipline of our children was different than my love and discipline for our children. When one of the kids was out of line and required some type of consequence, my husband and I were at odds for how to handle it. In this case, we ended up angry and fighting with each other, while our children quietly retreated to their rooms, and were never properly punished. Other times, by Nneka Collins we purposely overlooked certain family issues because we thought they would go away over I would never admit this to my husband, time – but they didn’t. We eventually realized things would not change or get resolved if but when I first met him, I knew immediately they were not discussed. My husband and I he was the one. He approached me with careful words and a gentleness that was quite decided that we needed prayer and strategy different than my previous dating experiences. to get and keep our family on track. Here are a few strategies that helped He even asked me out differently, not the our blended family: typical dinner and a movie. He invited me to church! In my mind I was thinking, “Thank • Realize your assignment – Joseph you Lord for sending me someone that loves was not Jesus’ biological father yet he You!” But out loud, I simply said, “Sure, was assigned to Mary and Jesus for a I would love to go to church with you.” I purpose. (Matt. 1:18-24; 2:13-15, 19-23). My spent some time getting to know him as a husband’s daughters were not just his single father of two beautiful daughters. He daughters. They were my assignment. was a dedicated, hardworking father trying They needed to be nurtured and loved in to maintain a comfortable home for his a way that they had not seen before. Seek daughters—cooking breakfast, cleaning, and God about the purpose you have in your doing the laundry. What more could a woman bonus child’s life. What will your level ask for? After a year of dating, we married, of involvement be? What will they need and brought our family together to begin the from you? How do you maximize the time process of blending. you spend together? Understanding your My husband and I loved God and each assignment in your bonus child’s life will other, and we were committed to our newly help you commit more completely. blended family. We were confident that our marriage was ordained by God, but we had • Respect the rules – Rules are not made to no idea what blending a family looked like be broken but they can be changed. The or how it was supposed to work. What if rules that were established by parents who the kids didn’t get along? What if the bonus were in previous marriages or relationships child doesn’t like the bonus parent? Who may not work in their new marital situation.

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Biological parents and bonus children have to be open to change, establish their own household structure and standards, implement them and stick to them. • Expect Realistic adjustments – Blending a family does not happen overnight. Being a part of a blended family is often a choice for the parents only. The children are expected to accept the decision that their parent made. This can be emotionally and mentally stressful for children, making adapting less easy and and sometimes burdensome. Everyone needs time to adjust to their new normal. It is important to remember that there is no timeline for when blending should be complete. Everyone must work together and do their part.

As Christians, we are all sons and daughters in Christ. 2 Corinthians 6:18 ESV says, “and I will be a father to you and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.” God is the example of commitment to His children. There is nothing easy about blending a family, but it can be successfully done with prayer, commitment and strategy.

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Nneka Collins is a native of Washington, DC. She and her husband, Elder Antjuan Collins Sr., along with 5 of their 6 children moved to Charlotte, NC in 2008 to help build Have Life Ministries. Nneka serves as a Pastor in her church where she is an intercessor and leads multiple ministries. She is known for her wisdom, encouragement, relatability and witty humor, and has a love for training leaders and future leaders to enhance their gifts and talents for the building of God’s Kingdom. She has earned her Associate’s Degree in Psychology and also holds a Certification of Training in Spiritual Guidance. She is the author of “Sibling Survival: When Families Lead Together.” Nneka, her husband, adult children and youngest son continue to call Charlotte, NC their home. Connect with her at nnekacollins.com and @Nneka_leatrice on Instagram.

• Recognize the importance of the birth parent. Regardless of how a relationship may have ended or how bonus parents came to be, the relationship between the SUBSCRIBE AT OUTPOURMAGAZINE.COM

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• Remain a unified team – As a leader in my church, my pastor gives me the authority to speak for him. If we are in front of people we are leading, I know that he has my back. If I make a mistake, he will discuss it with me in private. A husband and wife must remain unified in front of their biological and bonus children. This will set the precedent for how the house is structured and it shows the children that their biological and bonus parent are on one accord.

birth parent and child should be respected and not treated as if it does not matter. This will help lessen the mental struggle children have when they feel they need to split their loyalties.

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• Remove favoritism – It is easy to subconsciously favor your biological child over your bonus child. For some, it is not intentional. Others may need to work on this strategy a bit more. Children are more perceptive than we sometimes give them credit for. They notice when a bonus child receives more affection than them or when they are disciplined more harshly than their bonus sibling. Parents must strive to be objective and fair to all children, even when the bonus child is having a hard time adjusting.

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Meet the Obie Family

Photographer: Donald Currie, 12/24 Media

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City, State: High Point, NC Church: Prospect Hill Missionary Baptist Church Favorite Family Vacation? The Beach Describe this season for your family? SUBSCRIBE AT OUTPOURMAGAZINE .COM Different; Requiring Patience

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Meet the Obie Family: Ronald and Vanessa. They talked to us about their faith in God, the role of selflessness in relationships, and the secret to 40 years of marriage.

need help/comfort, a listening ear to vent or for prayer. When they call for prayer, they know that there will be at least 2 of us touching and agreeing because I will get Ronald to join me.

Outpour Magazine: Tell us a little bit about yourselves: Who is the Obie Family? Vanessa Obie: We’re Ronald and Vanessa Obie. We have three adult children and five most wonderful grandbabies. We love the Lord and we love family. Our life has revolved around serving God and serving others. I think about how many of our kids’ friends that have lived with us over the years due to no place to live or unable to return to their home because of circumstances. Our home became their home. They were a vital part of our family. They traveled with us on vacation and to visit extended family. Yes, we are an African-American family, but that didn’t define who was welcomed at our house or who we loved as family. As people of God, we are not here for ourselves. We are here to help others, regardless of who they are, what they look like or their life circumstances. We lived less than a mile from the high school. If one of our kids’ friends had an accident at school and needed a change of clothes, our kids would give them the house key and they would go to our house, look in their closet and get a change of clothes. But who does that? I remember our middle daughter had a classmate in foster care. She did not feel the classmate was being treated fairly, so she came home and told us we needed to take that child. Children mimic what they see, hear and the lifestyle that is portrayed. Our children grew up knowing God is love and we are here on earth to love others. It has been such a blessing to see our adult children manifest the love of God to their families and others. It has always been our desire to be that example of loving God and loving others. We try to exemplify this not only at church, but with our friends, in the community, and with co-workers. My co-workers know they can call me anytime day or night for assistance, whether they

Ronald Obie: What Vanessa said was right. We are a people who desire to please God. Our heart is to walk before Him and to serve Him. It’s what we have tried to instill in our children and grandchildren. I remember a time we had an opportunity to help someone and we didn’t. We had our grandchildren for the weekend and there was a gentleman panhandling at the gas station. Our grandson Caleb said “Papa are we going to help him? Are we going to give him anything?” I don’t think I had any cash or anything to give. But regardless, we didn’t help him. And I’ve thought about that. That was the time where we should have, especially when he asked the question. So sometimes we miss it. We miss these opportunities to be of a great impact in posterity. I remember [another] time I brought a young man home from Virginia. That was kind of different (laughs). We gave him a meal, then took him to Greensboro and bought him a hotel room. To this day I believe he was an angel and the Lord was testing us, [seeing] what we would do. Again, our desire was to please the Lord. OM: What does family mean to you? VO: Family is important. We love family. There are so many people who don’t know what it’s like to get together and love each other. It was hard in this pandemic not being able to celebrate my [60th] birthday with my family. The zoom party was fine but I wanted my family with me, for us to be together. Family means so much; it means everything to me. OM: What are some ways you instill these values of loving God and loving others in your grandchildren? VO: We teach them like we taught our children. We have bible study. Even when vacationing at the beach, they know that we are going to have bible study before we go out on the beach. And when

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Papa comes through the door [after work], the grandkids know that he’s going to say “Let God arise and His enemies be scattered.” The kids have started saying, “well Papa’s home. Let God arise and His enemies be scattered” (laughs). I also will say as I come through the door, “our children shall live and prosper. This house shall be filled with God’s glory, His love, His peace, His joy and His laughter.” When the grandkids come, I want them to be laughing and playing. That’s the joy of my life.

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RO: Vanessa is correct in that we had some turbulent times in the beginning. I think everyone tends to; but the key to a successful marriage and life is selflessness. Jesus said on several occasions, that he who loses his life for my sake shall find it (Matt. 16:25). And He also talks about the fact that husbands are supposed to give their lives for their wives (Eph. 5:25). I don’t feel that people really comprehend what He’s trying to say. Yes, He does mean that we are to physically give our lives for her. To take a bullet so to speak. That’s what a lot of guys think. But what He’s really talking about is that the things that make life important to ourselves - those things that make us happy, our desires, our goals, our dreams - those things that all of us have, if we are willing to lay that down for the other, then He says you are going to “find” [your life]. Even in the church, me saying I’m going to walk with God and do this ministry sounds spiritual; but that’s not

it totally. There are two great forces in the earth: selfishness and agape love. If we are not careful, selfishness will gain the ascendancy in our lives; it’s all about what “I” want. I had an opportunity to pastor, when our children were very young. But it would have destroyed our marriage and our lives - based on who I am. It’s all or nothing. Vanessa wasn’t ready. And truth is, I wasn’t ready. So we laid all that aside because the most important thing was her and the family, and making sure that we developed to the place of walking in unity and oneness; that the children were raised and developed in the nurture of the Lord. My goal was to be a millionaire by the age of 30. When I didn’t reach that goal, I started looking for people to blame and of course she was right there. And that’s the way the enemy works; when you fall into selfishness, it’s always someone else’s fault; what someone else has done. And that’s what’s wrong with the world right now - it’s always someone else’s fault. But God began to teach me how to love her, what to say, and how to say it. I’ve learned to ask the Lord to give me beautiful words. Words that inspire faith, hope and love; for those three are the eternal and foundational truths and pillars of the kingdom of God (1 Cor. 13:13). He would speak to me at lunchtime on what to do (I used to study my bible at lunch). [The Bible says] he that followeth Christ will have the light of life (John 8:12). That is, [a person] will have the ability to see and obtain wisdom from the very source of life Himself. And that allowed me to be able to develop her, at the same time she was developing me.

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OM: What is the secret to 40 years of marriage? VO: Marriage is a give and take. We have not always had the best marriage because we were selfish. We wanted what we wanted and did not consider our spouse all the time. When we got to the point of realizing [that], first of all we had to have God first. He’s got to be the head of your home and the head of your lives. Also, you’ll hear people say “your better half” but you’ve got to be a whole person coming into a marriage and not just a half. You’ve got to have two whole people. And you can’t expect your mate to make up for what you don’t have. It’s just going to drain the marriage. Because we got married so young (at age 19 and 20) and a year later, had our first child while in college, we struggled. But if we think about the goodness of Jesus and all He’s done for us, our soul cries out, Hallelujah! Thank God for saving us. We loved God so much during the hard times and trusted Him for everything. We had ”crazy” faith.

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were going in our marriage. I was not happy with him either (laughs). God revealed to him that he should start speaking what he wanted me to be. He started calling me ”love” because he wanted me to be more loveable (laughs). RO: That’s one of the things that the Lord told me; that the reason I didn’t have love was because I wasn’t calling for it. So He had me rename her “Love.” So that’s what I started calling her. And admittedly it was very difficult at first…

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VO: because I wasn’t acting like love (laughs).

So when I truly laid my life down - which is a daily process - I realized how much she laid her life down. She’s one of the most selfless persons I know. She would give anything. There were times when I was like, “are we ever going to pray for ourselves?” (laughs). Because she was always praying for this person and that person, this situation. And on the other side of that they would call and say thank you so much for praying. If we got a little piece of change, the next thing I know, it’s out the door. So she’s one of the most selfless persons I know and I’m a blessed man, for sure. We don’t realize how blessed we are with who God has given us because we are blinded by selfishness. I wish I could help people realize that and how it affects marriages. The only way to get out of selfishness is by the Spirit of the Lord. And we were Christians. We loved the Lord and grew up in the church. And the other thing that held us together was the prayer, the marital blessing that was spoken over our lives. For fifteen years, this blessing held us together. I could sense it, during times when we were struggling. I want that same type of anointing to speak into people’s lives. That type of blessing keeps them with God because the enemy wants to tear us away and destroy what it is that God has for us. OM: How has your relationship developed over the years? VO: One of the things that has helped us in marriage is that we became friends. It continues to be a work in progress. We have not arrived. We still have disagreements but we work it out. There’s no perfect marriage; it takes work. There was a time when Ronald was not happy with me or how things

RO: But being a person of faith and believing, I knew in my heart this was what He had said. And her response was, “we’re just going to see how long this is going to last.” [But] I didn’t let up. It did get to the point when I hadn’t been saying it for a while and she said to me “you never call me love anymore.” At that point I knew I had her. I knew that the word had taken effect. But that’s her name; that’s who she is. And this is the principle that God has given me regarding everything. [Our family] started feeling the effects of the great recession in 2005, while it really hit for everyone else in 2008. It was just some very difficult times. First, God had to deal with me; I had to get to the end of myself. I had to come to the point where God was everything, no matter the situation. But it was really Vanessa who one day in corporate worship spoke life to me in such a way that I haven’t been the same since. And out of what she said, that “let God arise and His enemies be scattered; I declare you shall live and not die. You will prosper in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ” was birthed. Nothing had changed; but because she spoke life, God then spoke to me and said I needed to speak life. So I began to speak life to every situation. Out of what she said - which was really the Holy Spirit speaking through her that caused that statement to be birthed. And God has shown us how to speak those things into the lives of our children and grandchildren. We speak and declare the Word of the Lord. OM: Lord willing, what are your hopes, prayers and dreams for the next 20 years of marriage? RO: I just trust that we will be able to fulfill the plan and the purpose God has for our lives. I remember one time that Vanessa asked me a question. She asked “what is our purpose? What is it that we are supposed to be doing?”

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He’s going to fulfill the calling in our lives. OM: You both have served on every level of ministry - from nursery workers to pastoral leadership. Talk about serving in ministry and why that is important to you. RO: When Vanessa decided to work in the nursery, primarily because of our children, I was not serving there. And I knew I didn’t have to go into the nursery but I was not going to leave her in there alone. And this was one of the things that God did to help us. It was one of the ways God helped our family. I put down what I was doing, to go into the nursery and it turned out to be a blessing all the way around. We worked in the nursery for 10 years. Basically from there we were ordained as deacons, and finally ordained as elders. But I believe that it was because we went down in the eyes of people - most people don’t like working in the nursery. But it was because of me learning from Vanessa’s servanthood, that God promoted us.

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VO: Also, love your family and be an example to them. - OM

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OM: You have three adult children and five grandchildren. What is the best advice or piece of wisdom that you have given your adult children? RO: To love the Lord, with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. And to walk in integrity; that is a rarity but is held in high esteem by the Lord.

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I said to her that our purpose right now is to raise these children. We had opportunities; we could have been doing this, doing that. I think that people have to be careful that we don’t get so busy doing so many things, good things, that we miss out on the purpose of the hour. God blessed us; He gave me a passion for work, and this resulted in our family being cared for. The very best vacation we ever had was when we won a trip to Florida through work. It was a vacation that we’d never had where we didn’t have to worry about anything because God had done it. We were often trying to make our way or have this and that, and that’s what got us into trouble early on - trying to do things in our own strength. But what we’ve learned is that if we just trust in the Lord, He will make a way. We’ve tried to be faithful too - and we haven’t been perfect; but I trust that now that we have poured into the lives of our children, that the things God has spoken to us 40 years ago, prophecies, and things God has spoken to me about, that we will begin to walk into them. Indeed, we’re seeing some of these things come to pass even now. Sometimes God speaks to us and we think that things are supposed to happen right now. What He’s saying is there is a time. When I put things into His hands, He causes those things to come to pass. I’ve always preached unity and oneness in this house, and I have always believed that unless Vanessa and I could walk in oneness, we would never fulfill what God had for us. We have continued to grow in unity and oneness. One of the things that God has shown me was that she would be by my side in ministry. God has given her abilities that I don’t have, like the ability to socialize. So many times our ministry works through her and that’s how we pray for folks or how we minister to people. They are looking to me to pray but it’s out of our unity and the gifting God has placed in her that the blessing comes. That’s what God is doing. And He’s going to give us the opportunity to build up and edify other marriages, other couples, young and old. And even though we are older, we still have the ability to speak into the lives of children and every age group. And I believe that is God’s anointing. The next 20 years,

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F INDING A BUNDANCE D ARK S EASONS

B Y A SHLEY C OOPER

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“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10 NKJV) Abundance. What is it exactly? I think it depends on who you ask. Our culture often defines abundance as a life overflowing with wealth and material possessions. It is thought of as happiness due to our circumstances, not despite our circumstances. This type of abundance is fragile and ever changing. But, dear brothers and sisters in Christ, this is not the life of abundance we are called to walk in. God has so much more abundance for us, and it’s more meaningful than material wealth and prosperity. The life that God gives us is abundantly rich and overflowing with forgiveness, love, grace, mercy, and guidance. This abundance is eternal, which means that our circumstances do not change the abundance we have because it is secure in the life and work of Jesus on the cross. In Psalm 23, we see that God is our good shepherd, who provides eternal abundance through leading us to green pastures and still waters, despite our circumstances. He prepares a table for us and our cup overflows despite our circumstances.

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Ps. 23:1-6 NIV) So, if you lost everything, your job, your house, your family and your livelihood, would you be able to rest in the peace of God knowing that you still have overflowing abundance? Finding abundance in my own suffering has felt challenging at times in my life. Shortly after celebrating the joy of pregnancy with our son, that joy was easily stripped away when I was put on bed rest until 33 weeks of gestation due to a subchoriaonic hemorrhage that would not heal. My pregnancy felt fragile, much like my emotional state. Finding abundance in this place of suffering was extremely hard for me at the time. I looked at my circumstances, and I felt confusion and anger towards God. I remember when our son stopped breathing twice at home and six times in the emergency room at six days old; I remember when we were rushed into the resuscitation room and our son was hooked up to machines, surrounded by medical professionals. All these things made seeing the abundant life more difficult. Then eight months later, our daughter was hospitalized and put on oxygen for a week due to

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in faith knowing that you have abundant life in Christ? Ask the Lord to help you see His abundance, that it is more secure and meaningful than the abundance the world provides, and that is not dependent on our circumstances, but instead on the completed work of Jesus on the cross.

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pneumonia. And just this past winter, when our son at two years old slumped limp to the floor because of a seizure, seeing the abundance in my circumstance felt beyond difficult. These seasons of struggle have been some of the hardest times in my life. And at the time, resting in the peace of God knowing that I had overflowing abundance felt impossible. Looking back now, I realize that what made the abundance hard to see was that I was focused on my circumstances and suffering instead of on the cross. I took my eyes off of Jesus to wallow in my mess. “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on the things above, not on earthly things” (Col. 3:1-2 NIV). God has given us such a beautiful example of walking out a life of abundance during seasons of struggle in the book of Job. Job lost everything at no fault of his own. He lost his livestock, his home, and his family. Job suffered greatly. In verse 20 of Chapter 1, we see that Job cried out by tearing his robe and shaving his head. And then, he fell to his knees in worship. Please don’t miss this, friend! A man, who had just lost everything including his precious family, cried out to the Lord and worshipped Him. “At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.’ In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing” (Job 1:20 22 NIV). This is a prime example of how we walk out an abundant life in our darkest seasons. We keep our eyes up, focused on God. We worship Him, who He is, and what He has accomplished through the life and work of Jesus on the cross. When we keep our eyes focused on His promises and who we are in Him, we can walk in eternal hope and abundance. It’s when we take our eyes off of the Lord and move them onto ourselves, our circumstances, and our suffering, that we lose sight of the abundance of forgiveness, love, grace, mercy, and guidance that He has for us. The eternal abundance that the Lord has for us is not based on our circumstances, but rather despite our circumstances. I’m going to challenge you to marinate on this: if you lost everything, could you move forward

Ashley Cooper has a Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology and Criminal Justice, and a Bachelor of Science degree in Criminal Justice. She is married with two children and three dogs. Ashley’s seasons of struggle and journey to healing through the power and blood of Jesus Christ has driven her passion to encourage and mentor others in their own journeys. She lives in the Charlotte, NC area and attends Transformation Church. For more encouragement, you can visit Ashley’s website at www.forgivenfree.com

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of “My Girl” at my grandmother’s 70th birthday celebration, replacing the chorus refrain with “Ma Ma”. As the smooth harmonies of Boyz II Men belted their affectionate nomer for mother, my mind had somehow interchanged the nickname of my grandmother, and a grief I didn’t realize existed overwhelmed me.

Grief Changes the Outlook of the Future

Facets of Grief

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by Joy Shamberger We don’t often pause to reflect on the emotions that hit us from life’s big and little moments that tear at our hearts; yet we find whatever kind of band aids and bandages to cover the pain and sorrow, and in essence, our grief. However, grief is faceted; its many sides and angles interjected in our lives are often more complex than we realize. Grief surprises, changes the outlook of the future, causes disillusionment, and ultimately exposes facets of God we may have never experienced before.

Grief Surprises I first became an acquaintance of grief through the loss of Ma Ma, my dad’s mom, in 2001. She developed a chronic cough in the beginning of the year and in a matter of nine months was gone from brain and lung cancer. On September 14th, while many in the U.S. were stunned and reeling from the terrorist attacks on New York City’s Twin Towers on 9/11, I was somewhat numb from losing a grandmother I didn’t get enough time with. At her funeral I felt this odd responsibility to tuck my tears away and entertain my two younger brothers to distract them from crying. I refused to display any emotion that would reveal any pain, using a façade of calmness to shield signs of vulnerability or weakness. It wasn’t until a year later after parking my car when a popular R&B song began to blast on the radio that tears sprung to my eyes, and I began to uncontrollably weep. My girl cousins and I had sung the tune

My next encounter with grief came from a diagnosis. I had begun to jog daily to keep in shape after graduating from college, running up to three miles before persistent pain in the little toe on my left foot grounded my exercise to a halt. My best friend, a fiercely protective nurse, made a doctor’s appointment for me. One blood test result later, I was diagnosed with what an internal specialist later deemed “an extreme aggressive form of rheumatoid arthritis (RA)” at 22 years old. Within weeks I could barely walk or turn knobs on doors or faucets from the inflammation and pain that consumed various joints in my body. I remember telling my husband very early in our dating days that one day he could be pushing me around in a wheelchair. I was trying in desperation to communicate that if he chose life with me, he could be choosing to somewhat sacrifice his own future and dreams. In my finite understanding, I had no idea how the Lord would use him as a vessel to demonstrate protection, faithfulness, and love. This disease has ravaged my body, sending me to various specialists for different aspects of needs and care. X-rays, quarterly labs, joint braces, expensive refrigerated medications, physical therapy, and many doctor appointments for respiratory infections arose as complications from RA. I joke that I am the reason our family meets our insurance deductible early every year, a burden that Satan uses at times to taunt me. The day-to-day physical challenges affect my life, from the smallest to greatest aspects: little moments like holding a child for too long; having to sit away from restaurant windows during the cold of winter; and weighing daily activities and errands to run against my energy or pain levels, all while keeping up with the care and needs of a house, spouse, and three children. I often feel I miss golden opportunities to do the simplest activities with my family. I sometimes

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Joy Shamberger is passionate about serving her family and community through various creative expressions. Spontaneous overwhelming projects are her thing, but writing, editing, and baking are currently her top three avenues of creativity. A lover of mystery and suspense, she aspires to share the beauty, humor, and intrigue she uncovers on the unpredictable adventure of a life walked with God. Joy has been married for 10 years and is a stay-at-home mom to her three energetic and wildly imaginative children.

In what felt to be sacrilegious, what felt irreverent, what felt to fly at the face of the fear of God I’d been raised with, I found the sacred. I discovered in my messy journey of grief, that though many may want to experience the awe-inspiring power of God, it may take being in a state of desperate need or in the midst of a life-altering circumstance to come eye to eye with the very facets of the God they seek. It is not that God will withhold Himself or does not meet us in our times of need; often He meets us in ways we have no way of knowing or in ways we do not know we need. We often desire to see God supernaturally intervene on our behalf; yet we’d rather distance or remove ourselves from

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grieve my past and present inabilities, knowing my the intense stormy circumstances that require His physicality and pain will affect my future. These are power. To ask for the Healer, someone or the smallest of griefs that resemble heaps of dead something, whether sickness, disease, physical leaves raked into a pile of embittered memories. condition, or relationship, needs to be mended Grief Causes Disillusionment and healed. To ask for the Deliverer, one must I came face to face with grief in a way I be in an inextricable circumstance from which could have never anticipated in 2013. My husband they are to be delivered. To ask for Jehovah-Jireh, and I had been married for not quite three years somewhere a provision must be required to make with a 19-month-old baby girl, when I experienced up for lack: lack of finances, job stability, family, a miscarriage very early in the pregnancy. During fulfillment, and hope. To experience God and all an agonizing week and a half long process, I was that He is, is to choose to know Him not just convinced at the time that this was not a part of my in the mountain top experiences, but in the story. I pleaded to God with every ounce of faith I dark valleys and trajectories of life we’d never had in me, using every scripture I knew to fight for voluntarily seek to walk through. There is nothing wrong with the precious life of my baby. When the Lord answered my prayers acknowledging the ashes in our lives; yet waiting, differently, I became angry with my traitorous prompting, and calling us to rise is the God of body and ultimately angry at God. He not only let Hagar, who named Him, El Roi, the God who sees it happen, He knew. If God had written all the days (Gen. 16:1-15). Ever watching and listening is the of my life as it said in Psalm 139, then He knew. If God of Rizpah, who honored her compelling vigil I had been prophesied over before my birth as my of grief by pouring rain to end a three-year famine mother would fondly reminisce, that I “would know (2 Sam 21). For whether through the sodden victory all the days of my life”— and the result of mess we’ve made through our own decisions or victory meant I would have to go through battles— through the devastating circumstances beyond then He knew. In the depths of my emotional state our control, the Lord can redemptively and for the first time in my life, I questioned that if God restoratively work through our suffering, pain and grief. knew, was He good? For over a year, I railed out of rage, hurt, and disillusionment at the God I’d known since a small child. This was not my first crisis of faith, but I dug into the Bible with wild abandon, pouring over what seemed futile attempts to understand the workings of God in the book of Job. I wept and worshipped through varying stages of grief and flung myself at God with the primal fury of the cornered and wounded.

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PHOTOS PROVIDED BY HAVE LIFE CHURCH

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We sat down with Pastors Shomari and Jacqueâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; White of Have Life Church in Charlotte, NC. They talk about their ministry, equipping leaders and what God is saying to His people today. SUBSCRIBE AT OUTPOURMAGAZINE.COM

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Meet the Leaders of Have Life Church

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Outpour Magazine: Tell us a little bit about yourselves and your ministry. Shomari White: Have Life Church is a nondenominational Christian ministry that embraces the charismatic and pentecostal thought of pneumatology [the movement and reliance on the Holy Spirit]; but we are still very much Word and bible driven. We base everything on the premise of love because we just don’t believe that anyone is reached or touched without love. Love has various shapes and demeanors, and is received and given in multiple ways so we work hard as a ministry - not that we are perfect or do it right all the time - to create avenues and portals where love can be distributed in a major way to believers. We would like to continue to build a ministry where people feel at home. We want to reveal the truth of the bible without compromise; not seeking to be relevant - because this may cause you to miss or misinterpret what Jesus actually said or what the bible actually says. We are not to bend to the culture; the culture is to bend to Christ. We want to be a church that teaches truth the truth - not everybody’s understanding of the truth, but a church that gives the truth of the Word of God. We want to teach honor and humility with humor. We like to smile, we like to hug and embrace. We are believing God that we are going to hug again (laughs). We are a church that wants to be not too much of one thing, but a good mix of everything we need to be. Everyone has to do what they’re called to do. There are some ministries that are so prophetic that nothing else matters. Other ministries are all about healing and nothing else matters. And I just don’t believe that’s how Jesus was. Jesus was both prophetic and dealt with healing and taught doctrine and loved everybody. There ought to be a variety of things you get when you come to the house of God. We pride ourselves on being a church that attempts to embrace every mode of Jesus. OM: Pastors, I love the tagline of “Your Life Matters” and the L.I.F.E. acronym: Love like Jesus; Invest in People; Follow the Bible; and Evangelize Everywhere. Talk to us more about these tenets as the basis for your ministry. Jacque’ White: Everyone has their doctrinal statement, what they believe. I was a Disciples of Christ [member] growing up and Pastor was COGIC and now we are in this nondenominational backdrop. Pastor can remember his statement; I can’t remember mine. And I came into COGIC where “you can’t join it, you have to be born in it” (laughs). So I was born by adoption by way of the love of Jesus Christ. But still didn’t remember any of those statements.

When we first started 12 years ago, we went back in year 7 or 8 and we looked at what we wrote [for our doctrinal statement] and thought, no one is going to remember this. So we decided that we needed to make this more of a working statement, a working doctrinal statement that really exemplifies who we are. We call it your elevator speech. If I have 30 seconds to tell you about Christ or to tell you about our Church, we’re going to tell you this tagline: “Love like Jesus; Invest in People; Follow the Bible; and Evangelize Everywhere.” And it’s what we do. So that’s where it came from. Every year Pastor allows us to go away and do a vision meeting for the following year. And we were just sitting around the table brainstorming, saying that we needed to work on our doctrinal statement because it was a little antiquated and long. We needed to make it a little more concise and came up with the L.I.F.E. acronym. Loving like Jesus: we believe that we are called to love. Jesus loved everyone; your sins were not too great or too small. He loved everyone and He believed that anyone He encountered, that you have to give the gospel with love. Love doesn’t mean that you are soft because sometimes love comes with correction. So love is all encompassing. Investing in People: Spending time with people. And during this season - it’s been a challenge; we want to see you. We want to be in your space. We also invest in educational programs. This year we gave our biggest scholarship away - $25,000 in one scholarship - but in totality we gave away $40,000 in scholarships this year. We’ve never done that. Covid was a blessing in that sense because we were able to scale back some things and send kids to school. We are also investing in people by doing Life Closet where we are able to give away free clothes. We have a full sized kitchen where we have fed several persons within the community, like feeding the staff of a local elementary school. All of these things we are doing to invest in people. Following the bible: Of course, we want to do what Jesus said. [The Bible] is our manuscript; this is what we go by. And Evangelizing Everywhere: We just believe God can make your life better. We want you to smile; we want you to be happy. Life is hard. We want you to know that Jesus makes your life worth living. Your life matters to God. So that’s where the acronym, which is a working acronym, comes from. It is something that we say at the end of every service: “How are we going to give L.I.F.E. this week?” And everybody in unison says it together. Even when we see our members out somewhere, we’ll say “how are you giving L.I.F.E. this week?” And you can find in one of

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those four ways how to give life.

Because once you capture God, you feel like you are God. And so He refuses to be captured. He’s working at a level that is above your ability to understand.

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OM: CoPastor, during the pandemic you started “Wonder Woman Fridays.” Tell our readers what this is and how this came about. JW: We started Wonder Woman Fridays because it was my “invest” [in people] L.I.F.E. giving for the week. I wanted to invest in women, just with the natural things we think about, what we go through and also to celebrate them. I am a huge fan of [the character] Wonder Woman. Growing up, I had the costume and everything. I wanted women to know that you are wonderful. And honestly what I noticed, just within my conversations, was that this pandemic was new for everyone. Most women that I knew and that were around me were mothers or wives and they still had some level of space from being at work while kids go to school or while husband goes to work or being at home [with everyone out the house]. Time to be who they were. So I wanted to address the things we think about and bring life and light to it. As well as celebrate women. I give out pendants to those we are celebrating - from breast cancer survivors to those who started their own business to someone finishing their Ph.D or those who are moms parenting in this pandemic. I love testimonies. I want women to win and highlight women doing great things in their community or during this pandemic. God brought out all this creativity that they would have never had the time for, because [previously] they were always doing something [else]. And sometimes [what they were doing] was good then, but not now. We don’t ever want to be where God was. We want to be where He is now. What is God doing now. SUBSCRIBE AT OUTPOURMAGAZINE.COM

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OM: Pastor, in a recent sermon series called “Speechless,” you mentioned that “your life is not broken; rather it’s working in a manner above your intellect.” Explain this as it relates to what our minds can comprehend versus God’s sovereignty. SW: With the devastation of Covid, which continues to happen, we have all been searching for peace and some level of emotional stability. Without mental and emotional stability, we are subject to the tyranny of the news. Because we can’t get out to communicate or socialize, all we have is social media and different news outlets. And if I allow myself to be subject to only what they say, then I become almost a puppet to their desires. So I have to figure out how to live this life on some level of mental and emotional peace. The only way to do that is to embrace the fact that all things are somehow working for my good (Rom. 8:28). Now to embrace the Romans 8 thought or thematic thrust that all things are working for my good, I try to wrap my mind around it. But that’s actually not what it’s asking us to do. It’s asking us to have faith in that you will never understand. Have faith and be ok with the fact that you will never fully understand. God did not create us to comprehend Him. When God gave me that, the whole purpose was to let everyone know you’re not broken. It doesn’t matter what you’re going through or what you’re dealing with, you’re not broken. Because we feel like life has broken us or disassembled us or disconnected us. Your life is not broken; but all of these things are still working but it is unfathomable for you to understand it. So when you try to think about the infinite perplexities of God, you have to think about things like the cosmos and galaxies. You have to let your mind go there, and know that God’s past that. Or drawing a square on a piece of paper that is one dimensional, or make it two or three dimensional; but God is not stuck in dimensions or time or space. I say that because you can’t accept what God is saying if you think He’s on your level. You’ve got to know that He’s so far beyond that. Think about radio waves or cell phone waves - they are invisible but you believe it. Even light waves - the small amount you can see - the visible light - does not diminish what you cannot see. And yet the invisible is working; working towards a goal, working to get something done. What that means is don’t box God into your ability to think. And rather trust Him at a level that you will never see, you’ll never fully comprehend. God is working at a level that is so far above your intellect and that is by design.

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Whatever I was praying about that week or whatever God was laying on my heart to share with them that week, I just wanted to encourage them to be better that week. I’ve had some ladies say they miss being around people; but on the other end, there are those that say that they’ve learned so much about themselves and what they can and cannot handle. It’s an absolute joy and we are going to take it up a notch, starting back in February. In our last session there were over 600 women from 32 countries. It was amazing! I am not sure what the Lord is going to do with it, but I am open to what He does. And I just really want to be a vessel to celebrate women and let them know they are wonderful. OM: You both often talk about the importance of being in communion and fellowship with other believers and this is evident in your small groups ministry, family and youth ministries, and church events. Can you explain why “Christian community” is so important, even virtually? SW: To be honest, this is an ever evolving topic. And I say that because God used a global suffering to transition the world. I am not going to say God caused it but He didn’t stop it. He didn’t let one country escape [the suffering]. The world went through this together. So God made the world a community, by giving everyone, rich or poor, the same pain. A pain in which money can’t buy you out of it and influence can’t keep you from it. So God used this to level the playing field to some degree in many areas to recreate an opportunity for community. I believe what the church needs to do and what we at Have Life are doing - we are in heavily debated hours of meetings - attempting to redefine it all. And the truth is, [the virtual community] has yet to be created. We are working to create it but it’s foolish to create a system for something temporary. What we are trying to do is start the process of creating for after the pandemic, understanding that things would have shifted. So what is community after this, post-pandemic? We’re trying to create a platform where if you come back to face-toface, there’s community. If you stay virtual, there’s community. And a way to bridge that gap if you want to go back and forth. And no one has nailed that yet. What we’ve done is we’ve begun the process of reintroducing the definition of community. We use to want you to get hugged seven times when you came to church. Now we want to be high-tech and high-touch. So we are instituting digital hugs and redefining what that looks like. For example, we ask people to watch the

recording of the preaching on Sundays, which isn’t much of an interaction. But right afterwards we have a live zoom prayer call with us and our intercessors where you put your prayer request in the chat. And we pray for you live, as a way to touch you and build a prayer community. Small groups that are by zoom is another form of community and touch. So we are trying to create a foundation that might last towards the end of the pandemic. And to be honest, while Christian community and fellowship is important, we have to redefine it all. And we have to find definitions that people will accept but some of these things we are going to have to force people into; they may go kicking and screaming (laughs). Things are never going to be the same again. And to build a foundation right now is a slippery slope because we just don’t know how long this [pandemic] is going to last. OM: That makes sense and that is an area of real concern right now, for many churches and congregations. SW: I don’t want to diminish the point of connection and fellowship. It is more important now than ever, because we are so apart from each other. But to build on this I think would be a mistake. Some things are here to stay; others are here as bandaids. And we don’t know how many millions of people will go in either direction. We may wake up and the pandemic is over and we went from 800 in attendance to 100 in attendance physically and the other 700 are online. Or people can decide that they are coming back and that thing fully flips. [We don’t want] to waste resources to build robust systems in places that might not last. Of course if you have the resources, build everywhere. But for most of us, we are trying to hit that one thing that will work. We are trying to redefine community. Community looks different. Community is Zoom. Community is Youtube or Facebook. We just don’t know the longevity of any of that right now. OM: Equipping servant leaders is also a big part of your ministry. What have been some challenges in raising and growing leaders during this pandemic? SW: So this is my soap box (laughs). The internet, Facebook, Youtube, and Twitter has given rise to the fraud. This pandemic is stifling the growth of authentic leadership. The reason I say that is because you cannot trust people that you’ve never done life with. What I believe that this time has given us is to dig back into the leaders that we know, to grow and enhance them. To rewrite [leadership] curriculum and do those sorts of

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things. In corporate America, you can promote people into leadership for what they do digitally; but you never put your future in the hands of someone you can’t touch. We can put on a mask for a two hour zoom meeting. [But] being in someone’s space is where a lot of discernment and interpretation comes about. So the leaders that you are raising up during the pandemic - and some may not be willing to admit this - those leaders that you’ve never met or been in a room with, there is a very short leash to the amount of power that they are given. And that’s just the truth. So what we have begun to do is dig in, pour our spirit and our heart into the leaders we have, that we already knew.

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LEARN MORE ABOUT HAVE LIFE CHURCH, AND PASTORS SHOMARI & JACQUE’ WHITE AT:

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JW: And God is not finished [with us]. He’s still speaking to us, because we’re still here. He’s not done allowing us to see the fullness of how big He is. So listening is important and an active part of prayer. We have to hear what God is saying, particularly during this season. -OM

OM: Lastly, what is the role of the church and the pastor in today’s society? And what is God saying to His people right now? SW: The role of the church right now is to facilitate or create the bridge to get people to Jesus. There’s a second step too that I think we have missed and because we’ve missed it we are now suffering. And that is, we have placed all emphasis on getting people to Jesus and His love, but we have not placed any emphasis on the Holy Spirit. And we have denied the Holy Spirit the access required to make it through a pandemic. We have a whole bunch of people who believe in Jesus but don’t have the Spirit of God leading them. So the role of the church is to get people to Jesus; but the role of the Pastor is to get the Spirit of God in them that just got Jesus. It works in concert with each other. This pandemic has caused us to go back and talk about everything - biblically, structurally and apologetically. What we have found is, people did not have as much God as they thought they had. This [pandemic] has brought out gaps and holes in understanding.

The Pastor has to get the Holy Spirit to the people to the point where they are filled with enough of God, His Word, and His understanding that they now have the strength to lean on Him in uncertainty. This level of uncertainty was never fathomed. So what’s the answer? The answer is that the Holy Spirit will lead you and guide you into all truth (John 16:13). The Holy Spirit will be with you no matter what - this is the no matter what (laughs). We thought these things [like pandemics] happened in third world countries. That’s what I meant when I said God chose to allow the world to suffer together, so He can transition us into something else. I think what God is saying to the people is to get back at me, come back to me. Come back to the Word; come back to my Spirit; come back to prayer. Right now I am studying contemplative prayer, Monastic prayer. So I have been reading books by monks on prayer and coming back to God not asking for anything but staying in front of Him, to build myself up to be able to handle what today brings. We have to get back to God, closer to Him than we’ve ever imagined necessary or possible.

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JW: And that speaks to Jesus with the discipleship model. He walked with them. He was in their physical space, walking alongside of them. And He was able to release them and say “I got to go, the Comforter is coming, but greater works will you do” (John 14: 12, 16). You can shout us out online or our ministry but those that “walk with us” have a different understanding. [The disciples] were in the room, experiencing miracles, signs and wonders. And even when moments got hot or they had doubts, they always came back because He was the truth. And even though we can’t be in the physical space with [our leaders], Covid has allowed us to slow down and let us really disciple them and pour into them this foundation of truth of the Word of God.

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B Y M ICHAEL S HAMBERGER

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A word that we use more often today that is a synonym for haughty, is the word arrogant. People and people groups accuse other people of being arrogant quite often. It usually means that one side thinks they are always right, will not listen to others, or refuses to understand the point of view of someone who thinks or believes differently from them. In politics, for example, liberals say this about the conservatives, and the conservatives say the same thing about the liberals. Julian Beams, a self-described lifelong student and counselor, wrote this while answering “What Are the 5 Disadvantages of Being Arrogant?” on Quora.com: “As an arrogant person I disregarded people who I considered ‘beneath’ me. They were worthy of none of my attention and certainly none of my time.” Our arrogance and excessive pride builds walls between us and others. It separates us from even being willing to try to work for the common good. We have a mindset that the other side can’t be right, because if they are right that means that we’re wrong. Therefore we need to repent of our pride and arrogance. Repentance seems to be a really, oldfashioned word and concept. The reason I say this is not because I don’t believe in it, but because it seems like hardly anyone else does these days. When I look at western culture and society it appears as though everybody is

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We are a very proud people today. We are taught to be that way from an early age. “Is anything wrong with that,” you might ask? Well, it depends. There is the good type of pride and there is the bad kind. I believe each person should have a good sense of pride in who they are and in what their focus in life is about. On the other hand, the wrong type of pride can lead to disaster. Proverbs 16:18 NLT reads, “Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.” Maybe what I’m picking up on in our society today is haughtiness, which is still a type of pride. Many of us have excessive pride in our children and grandchildren, our universities, schools and sports teams, in our church, denomination, race, economic status, clubs and organizations, and much more. This can cause wrong thoughts and assumptions about others. Let’s take a look at the Merriam Webster Online Dictionary’s meaning of three words: pride, proud and haughty. Pride: “inordinate self-esteem: conceit; a reasonable or justifiable self-respect” Proud: “having or displaying excessive selfesteem; having proper self-respect” Haughty: “blatantly and disdainfully proud: having or showing an attitude of superiority and contempt for people or things perceived to be inferior.” Notice that the definitions for both pride and proud contain a meaning showing the good side and the not so good side of each word.

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right and nobody is wrong, at least in their own eyes. Politicians are never wrong. The news media is never wrong. Businesses, and organizations are never wrong. Husbands are never wrong, wives and children are never wrong, and not to leave myself out – I believe I’m never wrong – at least rarely. This broad, generalized statement applies to many, but certainly not to everyone. There are still some who have a heart to humble themselves before others and God, to ask for forgiveness. So what is repenting? According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary: “Repent means to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one’s life.” Different tenses of the old English word for repent (repentir) also mean “to be sorry for, and to have regret.” Years ago I heard someone say that repentance is turning away from sin and turning to righteousness. In other words, doing a complete 180 degree turn away from the sin and then moving in the opposite direction towards the Lord, to receive His righteousness.

the fruit (display) of the heart change that occurs within a person. Too many times a person says “I’m sorry,” but there is no heart change. That’s not true repentance. Notice in 2 Cor. 7: “… to repent and change your ways” emphasizes that true repentance is connected with a change of behavior. That’s the 180 degree turn. Being sorrowful is not simply an emotion; it is an emotion that derives from a heart that has been convicted. There is a genuine remorse, not just because he/she got caught, but sorrow for the wrong they did and the damage they caused. The last sentence of 2 Corinthians 7:11, “You showed that you have done everything necessary to make things right,” demonstrates that godly sorrow not only produces conviction of the wrong that was done, but also a strong desire to make things right.

• Asking God for Forgiveness: “O loving and kind God, have mercy. Have pity upon me and take away the awful stain of my transgressions. Oh, wash me, cleanse me from this guilt. Let me be pure again. For I Aspects of repentance: admit my shameful deed—it haunts me day • Recognizing the Wrong: Years ago the and night. It is against you and you alone I phrase “you need to eat some humble sinned and did this terrible thing. You saw pie” meant that a person needed to it all, and your sentence against me is just” become less offensive and arrogant, and (Psalm 51:1-4 TLB). take on some humility. We don’t speak of In these verses, David says that humbleness and humility as admirable it is against God alone that he had qualities for a person to have in today’s sinned when he committed adultery world. But, the first step to recognizing a with Bathsheba and had her husband wrong committed requires a significant murdered. I personally believe David knew measure of humility within the offending that he had done wrong to Bathsheba, person. Without some measure of Uriah and to his nation; but he also knew humbleness, a person/individual will never that his ultimate sin was against God, his stop to consider the possibility of being in maker and Lord. I think that was the heart error. of what he was saying there. Anytime we sin, we sin against God • Having Godly Sorrow: Godly sorrow is our Father first. He is the one who created an essential component of repentance. us, called us, equipped us, and owns us. “Godly sorrow brings repentance that We will ultimately answer to Him. He sees leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but and knows everything. God hates sin, but worldly sorrow brings death” (2 Cor. 7:10 He loves people. When we sin we hurt His NIV). It is the kind of sorrow God wants His heart (Genesis 6:5-8, Psalm 78:40-41, NLT). people to have, and it leads us away from sin and results in life, freedom, salvation • Asking a Person(s) for Forgiveness: and redemption in one way or another (2 When we do wrong to someone, sin Cor. 7:8-11). An example of worldly sorrow against them, or offend them, it is very would be Judas, who after he realized what important to offer a sincere apology and he had done in betraying Jesus, he went to ask that person(s) for forgiveness. out and hung himself on a tree and died Someone cannot be forced to forgive, but (Matthew 27:1-5). Worldly sorrow produces read the requirement in Matthew 5:21-26. harm, destruction, and even death. This scripture requires eating some of The reason godly sorrow is such a vital that humble pie mentioned earlier. It takes piece of true repentance is that it produces submission to God first, then to the other

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person(s). The most important thing to do when apologizing is to have a spirit of humility and be genuine toward the other person(s). • Making it Right: A person with a right heart will have honest concern for the offended person’s well-being and want to do what is appropriate to set things right. Again, the verses in Matthew 5:2126 mention reconciling with someone who has been hurt by you and settling differences with your adversary before going to court. Both the act of being reconciled to someone and settling differences will require by necessity to “make things right.” There is no blanket detailed solution that will work for every situation. Remember, God sees everything, including the thoughts and intents of the heart. A good faith effort needs to be applied by both or all parties toward doing what is right for everyone involved.

“Being sorrowful is not simply an emotion; it is an emotion that derives from a heart that has been convicted.” P A G E 3 7

• Timing: Another very important, but often overlooked aspect of offering an apology is timing. The best way to discern the correct timing is through prayer. By seeking God’s face and praying for the offended person(s), the offender will be led and guided by His Spirit when to act. Other than offering an immediate apology for an offense committed, the offender should pray for the other person’s well-being and healing, which are paramount in the process leading up to the apology. This allows time for God to work on both parties. The Holy Spirit prepares the heart and soul of the offended person to be ready to receive the request for forgiveness, and He works humility in the offender. If this is done with the right spirit and in God’s timing, the whole process could go so much smoother and God will be glorified through it all.

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Michael Shamberger is the owner of Masterpiece Consulting Solutions, LLC. He helps individuals, organizations, churches and ministries find solutions and discover pathways toward their next goal or phase in life. He is the author of “The Challenge” and “Beyond the Pitch: Soccer Strategies for Winning at Life.” He lives in Fayetteville, NC with his wife Cynthia and attends Deeper Fellowship Church. He is the father of two adult children, the proud grandfather of 7 and great-grandfather of 1. You can follow him at https://masterpiececs.com/

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