Colour wheel theory of love: Difference between revisions

{{Short description|Idea created by Canadian psychologist John Alan Lee that describes six styles of love}}

{{expert needed|psychology|date=April 2019|talk=Expert needed}}

[[File:Colour Wheel of Love.jpeg|thumb|The colorcolour wheel of love by John A. Lee]]

The '''colorcolour wheel theory of love''' is an idea created by the Canadian psychologist [[John Alan Lee]] that describes six styles of [[love]],<ref>{{Cite book |title = Lovestyles |last = Lee |first = John A. |publisher = Abacus |year = 1976}}</ref> styles, using several of the Latin and [[Greek words for love]]. First introduced in his book ''Colours of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving'' (1973), Lee defines three primary, three secondary, and nine tertiary love styles, describing them in terms of the traditional colorcolour wheel. The three primary types are [[Eros (concept)|erosEros]], [[Ludi|ludusLudus]], and [[storgeStorge]], and the three secondary types are [[maniaMania]], pragma[[Pragmatism|Pragma]], and [[agapeAgape]].<ref>Garth , F. O., Simpson , J. A., Campbell , L., &amp; Overall , N. C. (2019). The Science of Intimate Relationships (second). Wiley-Blackwell .</ref>

== Primary types of love/sex ==

''[[Eros (concept)|Eros]]'' is the Greek term for romantic, passionate, or sexual love, from which the term "''erotic"'' is derived. Lee describes erosEros as a passionate physical and emotional love feeling of wanting to satisfy, create sexual contentment, security, and aesthetic enjoyment for each other, it also includes creating sexual security for the other by striving to forsake options of sharing one's intimate and sexual self with outsiders.<ref>{{cite book |last1=Lee |first1=John A. |title=Colours of Life: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving |publisher=new press |pages=15}}</ref> It is a highly sensual, intense, passionate style of love. Erotic lovers choose their lovers by intuition or "chemistry". They are more likely to say they fell in love at first sight than those of other love styles.

Erotic lovers view [[marriage]] as an extended [[honeymoon]], and sex as the ultimate aesthetic experience. They tend to address their lovers with pet names, such as "sweetie" or "sexy". An erotic lover can be perceived as a "hopeless romantic". The erotic lover wants to share everything with and know everything about their loved one, and often thinks of their partner in an idealized manner. The erotic lover's reaction to criticism from their partner is one of hurt and intense pain. The erotic lover's reaction to separation from the partner is agony and despair. Those of other love styles may see erotic lovers as unrealistic, or trapped in a fantasy.

The advantage of erotic love, is that the hormones and emotions cause lovers to bond with each other, and feelings of lust and feelings of love alternatively reinforce each other. It is very relaxing for the person doing it. It affords a sense of security to both partners who recognize and see sexual complementation in each other and a sense of life's purpose. Sexual contentment lies at the bottom of [[Maslow's hierarchy of needs]] along with hunger and shelter. It requires both partners to accord validity to each other's sexual feelings, work on sustaining interest and maintain the sexual health of the relationship. A disadvantage is the possibility of the decay in attraction and the danger of living in a fantasy world. In its extreme, erosEros can resemble [[naivety]]. A partner not as sexually inclined may also feel one's physical body being taken for granted and may perceive the erosEros lover as looking for carnal gratification.

Examples of erosEros may be seen in movies including ''[[The Blue Lagoon (1980 film)|The Blue Lagoon]]'', ''[[Return to the Blue Lagoon]]'', ''[[Pretty Woman]]'', ''[[Working Girl]]'', and ''[[Girl with a Pearl Earring (film)|Girl with a Pearl Earring]]''.

Ludus means "game" or "[[wikt:school|school]]" in Latin. Lee uses the term to describe those who see love as a desiringdesire to want to have fun with each other, to do activities indoor and outdoor, tease, indulge, and play harmless pranks on each other. The acquisition of love and attention itself may be part of the game.<ref>{{cite book |last1=Lee |first1=John A. |title=Colours of Life: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving |pages=16}}</ref>

Ludic lovers want to have as much fun as possible. When they are not seeking a stable relationship, they rarely or never become overly involved with one partner and often can have more than one partner at a time, in other words, a school of partners. They don'tdo not reveal their true thoughts and feelings to their partner(s), especially if they think they can gain some kind of advantage over their partner(s). The expectation may also be that the partner(s) should also be similarly minded. If a relationship materializes it will be about having fun and indulging in activities of varying degrees of learnedness together.

Examples of ludusLudus in movies include ''[[Dangerous Liaisons]]'', ''[[Cruel Intentions]]'', and ''[[Kids (film)|Kids]]''.

There is a love between siblings, spouses, cousins, parents, and children. Storge necessitates certain familial loyalties, responsibilities, duties, and entitlements. The dwelling is to be a sanctuary for its members and all members of a family are to pull through together in difficult times. Except for marriage, all other relationships have existed often by blood for as long as the individuals have known each other. In marriage, a couple, who formerly did not accord each other this love, promisepromises to extend and build this love and form a new bond of kinship. Family members hold each other in good esteem to the outside world. Insults undermine the connected family reputations. In many judicial systems, a family member cannot be asked to testify in court against a member of one's immediate family for a crime external to the family. Storgic love often develops gradually out of friendship, or out of extended duration of cohabitation.<ref>{{Cite web |url=https://www.psywww.com/intropsych/ch16-sfl/six-types-of-love.html |title=Six Types of Love. Chapter 16: Sex, Friendship, and Love |last=Russell A. Dewey |website=www.psywww.com |lang=en |access-date=2019-06-20}}</ref> The friendship in some cases can endure beyond the breakup of the relationship.

Examples of storgeStorge can be seen in movies including ''[[Love & Basketball (film)|Love & Basketball]]'', ''[[When Harry Met Sally...]]'', and ''[[Zack and Miri Make a Porno]]''.

According to Lee's colorcolour wheel theory, there are three secondary types of love: mania, agape, and pragma.

Mania is derived from the Ancient Greek term [[{{wikt:μανία-lang|grc|μανία]]}}, meaning "mental disorder", from which the term "manic" is derived. Lee defines manicManic love as flowing out of a desire to hold one's partner in high esteem and wanting to love and be loved in this way, seeing specialness in the interaction. This type of love tends to lead a partner into a type of madness and obsessiveness. On the colorcolour wheel, it is represented by the colorcolour purple, since it is a mix between ludusLudus and erosEros.<ref>Hu, J. X., &amp; Nash, S. T. (2019). Marriage and the family: Mirror of a diverse Global Society. Routledge.</ref>

Manic lovers speak of their partners with possessives and superlatives, and they feel that they "need" their partners. Oftentimes, manic individuals are attracted to individuals who have low self-esteem and a weak self-concept.<ref>Laswell, T.E. & Laswell, M.E. (1976). I Love You but I'm not in Love With You. ''Journal of Marriage and Family Counselling'', 38, 211-224.</ref> This kind of love is expressed as a means of rescue, or a reinforcement of value. Manic lovers value [[Love at first sight|finding a partner through chance]] without prior knowledge of their financial status, education, background, or personality traits. Insufficient expression of manicManic love by one's partner can cause one to perceive the partner as aloof, materialistic, and detached. In excess, mania becomes [[Fixation (psychology)|obsession]] or [[codependency]], and obsessed manic lovers can thus come across as being very possessive and jealous. One example from real life can be found in the unfortunate case of [[John Hinckley, Jr.]], aan mentallyindividual disturbedsuffering individualfrom mental illness, who attempted to assassinate the incumbent [[President of the United States|US President]] [[Ronald Reagan]] due to a delusion that this would prompt the actress [[Jodie Foster]] to finally reciprocate his obsessive love.

Extreme examples of mania in popular culture include yandere anime and manga characters. Additionally, manicManic love is a central theme in the films ''[[Endless Love (1981 film)|Endless Love]]'', ''[[Fatal Attraction]]'', ''[[Misery (film)|Misery]]'', ''[[Play Misty for Me]]'', ''[[Swimfan]]'', and ''[[Taxi Driver]]''.

''[[Agape]]'' is derived from {{wikt-lang|grc|ἀγάπη}}, an Ancient Greek term for [[Altruism|altruistic]] love'''.''' Lee describes agape as thean purest form ofaltruistic love, derivesgiven thisby definitionthe oflover lovewho fromsees beingit altruisticas towardshis one'sobligation partnerwithout andexpecting feelingreciprocity. loveAccording into theLee, actsAgapic oflovers doingare so.usually Theolder personand ismore willingemotionally tomature, endurethus difficultya thatlove arisesguided fromby thewill partner'sand circumstance.reason Itthan isemotion basedor onattraction.<ref> anLee unbreakableJohn commitmentA. andA anTypology unconditional,of selflessStyles love, that is allof givingLoving. ItPersonality isand anSocial undyingPsychology loveBulletin. of compassion and1977;3(2):173-182. selflessnessdoi:10.1177/014616727700300204</ref> Agape love is oftena referencedcombination withof religious meaningStorge and isEros. signified by the color orange.

Pragma comes from the Ancient Greek term {{wikt-lang|grc|πρᾶγμα}}, meaning "'businesslike"', from which terms like "''pragmatic"'' are derived.

Pragmatic lovers have a notion of being of service which they perceive to be rational and realistic. While they may be sincere about being useful themselves it also translates to having expectations of a partner and of the relationship. They tend to select and reject partners based on what they perceive as desirable, compatible traits. Pragmatic lovers want to find [[Value (personal and cultural)|value]] in their partners, and ultimately want to work with their partnerpartners to reach a common goal.<ref>Chao, Y. S. (2012). Intercultural Communications: Impacts on marriage and family relationships. WestBow Press.</ref> The practicality and realism of pragmatic love often contributescontribute to the longevity of the relationship, as long as common goals and values remain shared for the duration. Excessive thinking along these lines causes a relationship to be seen for its utility or as a trade or exchange. The attitude of a pragmatic relationship can become disdainful and toxic if one partner sees the other as a burden. EmphasisThe emphasis within pragmatic relationships is on earning, affordability, child care, and/or home service. Pragmatic love as a form of cooperation or symbiosis should not be considered negative. In a collectivist culture where arranged marriage is practisedpracticed, pragmatic love is very common (Chaudhuri, 2004). Values are likely to be shared by a couple in developing countries, where survival and the building of wealth are often prioritized over other pursuits.

Examples of pragmaPragma can be found in books, movies, and TV including ''[[Ordinary People]]'', ''[[Pride and Prejudice]]'' (Charlotte), ''[[Little Women]]'' (Amy March and Fred Vaughn) and ''[[House of Cards (U.S. TV series)|House of Cards]]'' (Frank and Claire Underwood). Political marriages are also considered to be examples of pragmatic love.

# ManiacManic eros

# ManiacManic ludus

# ManiacManic storge

Though Lee names each of the tertiary types of love, he never found enough evidence to distinguish them fully.<ref>{{cite book|last1=Lee|first1=John A|title=Colours of Life: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving|publisher=new press|pages=156}}</ref>

Clyde Hendrick and Susan Hendrick of [[Texas Tech University]] expanded on this theory in the mid-1980s with their extensive research on what they called "love styles". Their study found that male students tend to be more ludicLudic, whereas female students tend to be storgicStorgic and pragmaticPragmatic.<ref>{{cite web |url=http://www.confisus.co.uk/mindlabs/blackeyedsusan/Documents/Hendrick%20and%20Hendrick%20Love%20attitudes.pdf |title=Archived copy |access-date=2014-12-19 |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20141219175815/http://www.confisus.co.uk/mindlabs/blackeyedsusan/Documents/Hendrick%20and%20Hendrick%20Love%20attitudes.pdf |archive-date=2014-12-19 }}</ref> Whilst the ludicLudic love style may predominate in men under age thirty, studies on more mature men have shown that the majority of them do indeed mature into desiring monogamy, marriage, and providing for their family by age thirty.<ref>{{cite journal|title=Why do men marry and why do they stray?|first1=Jeffrey|last1=Winking|first2=Hillard|last2=Kaplan|first3=Michael|last3=Gurven|first4=Stacey|last4=Rucas|date=7 July 2007|journal=Proceedings of the Royal Society of London B: Biological Sciences|volume=274|issue=1618|pages=1643–1649|doi=10.1098/rspb.2006.0437|pmid=17456459|pmc=2169272}}</ref><ref>{{cite journal|title=Genetic variation in the vasopressin receptor 1a gene (AVPR1A) associates with pair-bonding behavior in humans|first1=Hasse|last1=Walum|first2=Lars|last2=Westberg|first3=Susanne|last3=Henningsson|first4=Jenae M.|last4=Neiderhiser|first5=David|last5=Reiss|first6=Wilmar|last6=Igl|first7=Jody M.|last7=Ganiban|first8=Erica L.|last8=Spotts|first9=Nancy L.|last9=Pedersen|first10=Elias|last10=Eriksson|first11=Paul|last11=Lichtenstein|date=16 September 2008|journal=Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences|volume=105|issue=37|pages=14153–14156|doi=10.1073/pnas.0803081105|pmid=18765804|pmc=2533683|bibcode=2008PNAS..10514153W|doi-access=free}}</ref>

Hendrick and Hendrick (1986) developed a self-report questionnaire measure of Lee's love styles, known as the Love Attitudes Scale (LAS).<ref name=":0">{{cite journal |vauthors=Hendrick C, Hendrick SS |title=A theory and method of love |journal=Journal of Personality and Social Psychology |volume=50 |issue=2 |pages=392–402 |date=Feb 1986 |doi=10.1037/0022-3514.50.2.392}}</ref> A shortened version of the LAS, presumably for researchers trying to keep their surveys as concise as possible, was later published,<ref>{{cite journal |vauthors=Hendrick C, Hendrick SS, Dicke A |title=The Love Attitudes Scale: Short form |journal=J Pers Soc Psychol |volume=15 |issue=2 |pages=147–59 |year=1998 |doi=10.1177/0265407598152001 |s2cid=145583028 }}</ref> and other variations appear to have been used by some researchers. Respondents indicate their level of agreement or disagreement with the LAS items, examples of which include "My partner and I have the right physical 'chemistry'" (eros) and "Our love is the best kind because it grew out of a long friendship" (storge). Depending on the version of the LAS one administers, there are from 3–73 to 7 items for each of the six styles described above. A 2002 article illustrated the use of the LAS.{{clarify|date=November 2015}}<ref>{{cite journal |vauthors=Fricker J, Moore S |title=Relationship Satisfaction: The role of Love Styles and Attachment Styles |journal=Current Research in Social Psychology |volume=7 |issue=11 |year=2002 |url=http://www.uiowa.edu/~grpproc/crisp/crisp.7.11.htm |access-date=2016-05-08 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20080117182741/http://www.uiowa.edu/~grpproc/crisp/crisp.7.11.htm |archive-date=2008-01-17 |url-status=dead }}</ref>

In 2007, researchers from the [[University of Pavia]] led by Dr [[Enzo Emanuele]] provided evidence of a genetic basis for individual variations in Lee's love styles, with erosEros being linked to the [[dopamine]] system and mania to the [[serotonin]] system.<ref>{{cite journal |vauthors=Emanuele E, Brondino N, Pesenti S, Re S, Geroldi D |title=Genetic loading on human loving styles |journal=Neuro Endocrinol Lett. |volume=28 |issue=6 |pages=815–21 |date=Dec 2007 |pmid=18063936 }}</ref> In this genetic study of 350 lovers, the Eros style was found to be present more often in those bearing the TaqI A1 [[allele]] of the [[DRD2]] 3' UTR sequence and the overlapping [[ANKK1]] exon 8. This allele has been proposed to influence a wide range of behaviors, favoring [[obesity]] and [[alcoholism]] but opposing [[neuroticism]]-anxiety and [[juvenile delinquency]].<ref>{{cite web |url=https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?Db=gene&Cmd=ShowDetailView&TermToSearch=1813&ordinalpos=2&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Gene.Gene_ResultsPanel.Gene_RVDocSum|title=NCBI Gene summary for DRD2 (interim reference)}}</ref> This genetic variation has been hypothesized to cause a reduced amount of pleasure to be obtained from a given action, causing people to indulge more frequently.<ref>{{cite news |url=https://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSTRE49F9CC20081016|title=Milkshake study reveals brain's role in obesity | work=Reuters | date=16 October 2008}}</ref>

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