There are chunks of material in Alderton's writings and thoughts that I definitely agree with, and found refreshing to have explicitly spelled out and explored; primarily, her viewpoints on how valuable her friendships with other girls are. The keystone quote that really sums this up is "Nearly everything I know about love, I've learned in my long-term friendships with women." I love that Alderton emphasizes that over and over again. She also isn't afraid to poke and explore at various ideas like how much people in a new romantic relationship with someone shove their friendships to the side, or just how presumptuous baby showers can be (the line of people "demand[ing] money and time from people to celebrate [their] own personal life choices" is so accurate). It's so very clear Alderton cares deeply for her loving friendships and wants to encourage readers to do the same! I think that if readers come away with anything from this book, it will be to tend to and value your friendships, because those are the people who you can build a real, true community and family with.

On the other hand, this book just DRIPS with privilege and heteronormativity. Alderton is a 30-something woman who is largely reflecting on her teens and 20s, which were filled with drinking, partying, careless spending, European holidays, working jobs that allow an unusual level of creative freedom, etc. and this results in a book that is, on manyyy levels, just not relatable whatsoever. At times she genuinely sounds like a caricature of a British party woman that might pop up on an SNL skit or an episode of "Skins". She describes so many drunken nights that they begin to blur together, and each consecutive one offers less than the one before, which made me want to start skipping chapters.
This book was also just extremely hetero. Even when Alderton is emphasizing female friendship and not changing yourself for any man, there is a steady and constant undercurrent that runs through the entire work that still places romance with a man as highly desirable and finding a partner, even if it happens later in life, still needs to happen at some point. It just seems so antithetical to everything she comes to conclusions about time and time again, and by the end of the book the conclusion sort of peters out to this weird agreement of "Yes, love yourself and cherish your female friendships because they're the most precious love you will have, oh and also you will get a boyfriend one day who will love you even if you're silly and don't shave and have a wild past!"

All in all, there are some really heartfelt and valuable writing in "Everything I Know About Love", but it's a little like mining: you're gonna have to dig and pick through some rubble to get to the shiny bits (I actually don't know how mining works, so just picture the mining scene in "Snow White"). I'm curious to maybe read Alderton's latest work and see how her writing and voice have developed since this book came out. ( )

as a lesbian, reading this book on dolly’s perception of love opened my eyes to understanding how heteronormative love is like, at least to her. i feel so excited to grow and change, and learn. so excited to deepen my friendships, and find those people that make me the happiest. i wonder if it will be the same or drastically different. i’ll find out eventually.

favourite quotes:

“You know, the life isn’t happening elsewhere, it doesn’t exist in another realm. Your relationship with that man was seven years long. That was it, that’s what it was.” - 263
—
“ “You’re too hard on yourself”, she said. “You can do long-term love you’ve done it better than anyone I know.”

“How my longest relationship was two years and that was over when I was 24.”

“I’m talking about you and me, she said.” - 301
—
“I don’t need to run away from discomfort and into a male eyeliner. That’s not where I come alive. Because I am enough. My heart is enough. The stories and the sentences twisting around my mind enough.” - 305 ( )

I'd like to shove this book into the hands of every single 20-something female. ( )

This is Dolly's memoir of her life from her teen years through age 30. It started slow and whiny. I wanted to throw it against the wall but since I won it through the Goodreads Giveaway I felt obligated to finish it and give it a fair and honest review. It got better as she grew up and stopped using one-night stands and drink as crutches and started working and being an adult. She had some good things to say about growing up and some of it was funny. I could see some of it but it was a long time ago that I was that age and I did not use sex and alcohol to try to make me feel better. I think she began growing up when Florence, her friend's sister, started having problems. Florence's story was good. I loved the few letters about friends milestone events--engagement, marriage, birth. They were so snarky they were funny. This ends on a high note. ( )

I received an ARC of the book for free from the publisher (Harper Books) in exchange for an honest review. Since I received an ARC, my quotes from the book are tentative.

I found this to be a very relatable memoir. There were some passages that really spoke to me. For example, a paragraph from the chapter, Tottenham Court Road, perfectly describes me right now. She writes:

“When you begin to wonder if life is really just waiting for buses. . . and ordering books you’ll never read off Amazon. . . You are realizing the mundanity of life, You are finally understanding how little point there is to anything. You are moving out of the realm of fantasy ‘when I grow up’ and adjusting to the reality that you’re there; it’s happening. And it wasn’t what you thought it might be. You are not who you thought you would be” (pg 167-168).

That passage really hit home. I am definitely still coming to terms with the face that I am “grown up.” At another point she states, “Online dating is for the brave” (pg. 324). All I can say is amen to that!

This book is not just relatable, it is also very humorous. There are some funny moments. I particularly liked the satirical emails she interspersed throughout the book. On the flip side, there are some more heartbreaking moments that added contrast. I liked the balance between the two because it really showcases the ups and downs of life.

Lastly, I really liked the author’s writing style. It was very accessible and conversational, as if you were two friends catching up.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book and definitely recommend it. It isn’t just a book about love. It’s also about female friendship and growing older which will resonate with a lot of women. ( )