Change Your Image
okpilak
Reviews
The Beekeeper (2024)
The Jason Stratham show
Get out the popcorn sit back and enjoy the show. It is a real fun ride. Jason Stratham (Adam Clay) is a retired 'beekeeper' renting a barn from an older woman who only wants to do good. And he has bee hives and collects honey. One day, her computer flashed a message that she was hacked, and to call a certain number. She did, and all her money in all her accounts was wiped out. She committed suicide, and Clay decides to track down the culprits. Clay is a one man wrecking crew as he works his way to the top. The beekeepers are a super secret group dedicated to protecting the hive, and he is one of the best. There is a lot of action and also some humor which makes for a wonderful movie. I am a tough grader, but this movie is so much fun it deserves a 9 score.
Cold Meat (2023)
I was not expecting this....
Starts out easy enough. It is extremely cold outside in Colorado, and David heads to a cafe to get a meal. It is late, the cook left, and Ana is there to finish up. Along comes Vincent, Ana's husband, drunk, abusive and demanding to see his daughter. He gets in David's face, and David seems to be able to defuse the volatile situation. David heads on his way, and Vincent starts to chase him. He manages to lose him, but crashes into a snow pile and is stuck. No cell phone service, so he heads to higher ground hoping to pick up a signal. He steps into a hole, and winds up with a compound fracture of his leg, and in great pain, manages to get back to his car. This is when the story really changes. The sense of extreme cold and blowing snow is well done, as is the make up showing how the cold is affecting his physical condition. With a bigger budget, they may have been able to make me believe how cold the car interior can become. But I do not think anyone could have seen what unfolds as happening.
Cult Girls (2019)
What were they going for?
It is difficult to determine what this movie is supposed to be about, as it is a mess. The cult is the Golden Path, and they are seeking beautiful girls who are untainted by Christianity, as those become the most powerful in their pagan world. There are three young girls who escape, and as they escape, one vows they will always be together. So the movie becomes a documentary search for the cult leaders? Or is it one woman's desire to unite with her sister? Or is it a lot of things thrown together to make it more mysterious? There is some nice cinematography of old gothic churches, interesting forest scenes, but a lot of muddled scenes thrown in also. There are rituals, hideous masks worn by the men kidnapping the women to give it a more medieval vibe. But in many ways it only serves to become boring.
In Fear (2013)
Dumb and dumber
Tom and Lucy met in a bar, and weeks later Tom invites Lucy to travel with him to a festival in Ireland. And while she expected to go camping there with friends, Tom has arranged to spend the night in an idyllic hotel in a very isolated spot. The follow a truck to the road leading to the hotel, which then leaves and they are to follow the signs. They seem to have no chemistry together, and when it seems they are lost in a maze of roads, do all the wrong things and make all the wrong decisions. It gets dark, it starts to rain and they seem to come up no coherent plan, and then almost hit a person on the deserted road, Max, who they stop and take into their car. Not a wise decision, yet what is happening seems to have no rhyme nor reason either.
Little Bi Peep (2013)
A snaoshot of a pathetic life
The movie is crowd funded, so some people found it worth a shot. Emma is a chain smoking 23 y/o woman who leads a pathetic life, and works the last shift at a porn store where she has to dress in seductive costumes. She was assaulted by her father, whom she tried to set on fire, and her mother doesn't seem to be much of a role model. She has a lot of built up rage. She meets Mason, and seems to be headed on a better path, but her lies and deceit catch up with her. But will that make a difference for her? Emma really leads a very disgusting and pathetic life, but in that role, she manages to sell it. But it is a hard movie to take. It certainly is not a movie for everyone.
Ice Quake (2010)
Root for Yeti
Suspend your beliefs, and just enjoy a movie that hits all the cliches that a low budget movie is expect to check off. If one streams it for free, that is the appropriate price to pay. Yeti is their dog that disappears when they are going into the mountains to cut their own Christmas tree, and perhaps one of the more talented actors in this movie. It is not great, yet it does not scrape the bottom of the barrel for movies of this type. Some nice snow covered mountain scenery although having a snow cave to survive in is not suggested to have an open front. The so called science presented is absurd, then that is not the core audience the movie is intended for. Perhaps 4 is a bit generous for a rating, but at least it is a family film.
Kûki ningyô (2009)
Are we all empty vessels?
There are many levels in this movie, and it is not to be taken literally. Bae Doona really carries the movie with an outstanding performance. A not too expensive air doll for carnal delights, she suddenly gets a heart. But while she is filled with air, are not many who traverse the scene nothing but empty vessels filled with air? The photography is outstanding. While she gets a heart, she has a lot to learn on what it is to be human. What is a birthday? What does it mean to grow old? A somewhat slow paced movie that asks a lot of questions. Yes, there is nudity, but done very artistically. Worth a viewing.
Girl Gone Bad (2022)
Some hits, but too many misses.
It is a tight movie, with Samantha's friend Amanda killed early, leaving Samantha to deal with Lester. Samantha is presented as a very smart 16 y/o, who is trusted by her single mother to stay on the up and up. Her mother is trying to connect her life up again, and leaves for the night. Lester, a cop, is not a good guy, having killed Amanda and is prepared to kill Samantha. Samantha manages to turn the tables on him, and ties him up in the basement and proceeds to visit unpleasantness upon him. One has to suspend some belief as to how she got him down to the basement and secured. And also how she came to inflict some of the damage on him, as that suggests prior knowledge of how. So most of it takes place in the house and basement. The fourth act is sort of confusing, although it does explain some of the background leading up to what happened. And perhaps in the last scene, Samantha gives a really great performance, to contrast with what we first see about her. But also out of character. It could easily have been a better movie. But it does give a lot of 16 y/o girl angst.
The Refugees (2014)
For what it didn't do
Freevee only has seven episodes, and the one titled "Alone" is missing, which is the 5th episode, so perhaps that would have explained more about the movie. In a way I liked it, since it did not try and explain the 'happening'. All around the world, people are suddenly arriving, from the future. Not just dozens, but millions and perhaps billions, putting an immense strain on the population. The episodes center around a small town. Emma, Samuel and Annie are living in an isolated home, and along comes Alex. All the people as part of the mass exodus have a beacon in their chest, but Alex doesn't. He traveled illegally, and his mission was to stop a murder of Emma and Samuel, as he was given the precise time of their murder. Alex also traveled with his wife and daughter, both done illegally but got separated upon reaching the destination. And the murder attempt was done, but thwarted with his advance knowledge. But it also sets up dynamics and twists that make things interesting. If the newcomers (refugees) break the rules, which is detected within 15 minutes of doing so, strangers arrive and take them and anyone they talked with to a camp, apparently a very unpleasant place. This too is left pretty much to the imagination as to how and why, except they cannot tell what will happen to anyone they meet. So there are many unanswered questions, but answering many of them might ruin things for the viewer, as satisfactory answers are probably not going to be easily accepted.
Age of the Living Dead (2018)
Ugh!
I bailed during the third episode of Season 1. It was all I could take. The absurdity of the scenario is too much, but then one has to suspend belief to even accept vampires. An isolated military base in 'no mans land' with the commander who just happens to have his young son Adam present, and whose wife was killed by vampires. And along comes a young woman, found by his son, who Adam naturally falls totally in love with her, willing to risk everything for her, including logic. And of course, she just happens to be the daughter of one of the top vampire leaders. Bad is a description that could not be over used for this series.
Against the Night (2017)
Dumb and dumber
If all of them had died in the first five minutes, this would have made a very short film, and I would have given it a higher rating. A positive is the location of the film, in the abandoned Holmsburg Prison making for an interesting set. The most annoying character was Hank, who considered himself a film maker, and wanted to film his friends (and pay each $200) in the prison, expecting to find ghosts, or so he told them. So it is a lot of night camera work (green scenes) and flashlights and darkness, and things that go bump in the night. One soon does not care for any of the characters, and Hank seems to have rigged the whole scenario up, including faking his death. There are a lot of hysterics and few show any real 'smarts' in dealing with what is happening. My rating may be too high, but I know which movies I have rated lower, and this doesn't quite sink to that level.
Tides (2021)
Interesting, but not that good.
I guess one could say it was filmed in depress-a-vision. A capsule from Kepler lands, after the first attempt (Ulysses I) met failure. It is a disastrous landing, but two survive, a man and a woman, but he is badly injured, and succumbs. There are inhabitants of the planet, one of mud flats, mist and fog, and altogether miserable. Ulysses II is sent from Kepler to see if the woman can be able to conceive, since on Kepler, women cannot. The natives of the planet are known as the mud people, and it perfectly captures their life. One knows that, as there are others on the planet and that becomes the major plot of the movie. I give credit to the movie for sustaining the premise that they wanted to show. But most viewers will quickly forget this movie. Just don't analyze this movie too deeply, as the holes are numerous.
Code 404 (2020)
Uneven but wacky
In one way it is brilliant, and in another way so annoying. Roy Carter and John Major are partners, and when on a stakeout, Roy gets distracted and John gets killed. But after a year of effort, he is brought back as an augmented person, an AI. Besides the two, there are some really out there characters, from his boss Dennet, the person monitoring and tweaking the AI, Dr. Parfit and the investigator always being called Judy, which is not her name, and a rival partnership of two bent cops, one who keeps making computer comments to John. There is some great humor and some really savage double entendre patter. Dr. Parfit is working to adjust his AI, but not getting a lot of help, as John becomes very emotional, easily distracted and prone to blurt out things that shouldn't. John's wife, Kelly, had moved on after his death and funeral, and of course it was with Roy. That sets up an entire subplot. Some of the scenes of John's emotional fixations go on a bit too long to the point of becoming repetitious and annoying. But these three seasons certainly are a different type of British cop show, with plenty of laughs. I almost quit after the last episode of the first season, but stuck with it through the third season and I am not disappointed that I did. One really starts to feel for Roy, who has to keep sweeping up the messes John makes.
Pearl (2022)
It's no wonder
With being raised in the home she is in, it is no wonder she went off the deep end. Her father is confined to a wheel chair and doesn't speak. She has to also take care of him. Her mother is domineering and not supportive of anything she does other than chores. Her marriage is apparently short, since her new husband soon went off to War in Europe (WWI). She can bicycle into town to get the opiate for her father, but spending is strictly monitored, and she escapes in the movies, her only joy and outlet. One gets an early insight into her, when she skewers a goose with a pitchfork, and feeds it to the alligator in the pond. Being of German ancestry, the family is not liked by the town. She is lectured on how tough things are, and when an in-law brings a roasted pig as a gift, it is refused. But she has a dream of being a star dancer and escaping from this dreadful situation. The colors of the film are very vibrant and her acting is incredible. She is very energetic and 'knows' what she wants in not where she is.
Lake Placid vs. Anaconda (2015)
It's a comedy
This is a bad movie, with stereotypical roles, terrible special effects, but it is really funny. Not so bad it is good, but checks off so many boxes. There is a mayor of the town who wants things quiet, as there is an election coming up. There is a group of sorority pledges shepherded by a real piece of work, self centered and spoiled. The Sorority is the Deltas. Some of the pledges come across as air heads. There is a sheriff who got the job because no one else wanted it, and has a Deputy Ferguson, who is as inept as they come. Tully is Fish & Wildlife, whose daughter is in peril from what is going on. And what is going on is a company, whose CEO, Ms. Murdoch, is in a quest for an anti-aging drug made from a serum of a croc and anaconda that are genetically engineered to get really big. The snake escaped, and she needs the eggs from the snake. And she will sacrifice anyone in her way. In many ways, the absurdity overcomes the ineptness of the movie. It is stupidly funny.
Underwater (2020)
Captured the danger
The movie certainly depicted the danger and claustrophobic situation of a disaster deep underwater, when survival is in doubt. I simply cannot accept that is was at the bottom of a trench nearly 7 miles deep. The living and working areas were simply too spacious. But I can accept they were on a drilling platform quite deep. An earthquake or other such event has compromised the entire working area, with flooding and collapse, and we have a few survivors who are trying to get out alive. And they face dangers aplenty, with sections destroyed and systems not working, and an annoying AI voice listing things that have gone bad. In traversing the tubes connecting the various parts of the drilling array, they are forced out onto the ocean floor, where they find out they are not alone. And that is done fairly well, as the nature is kept mainly disguised, except it is deadly. Until the end, one is uncertain exactly what is out there. The danger level is kept high and also believable. There are no sudden super heroics that would cause one to shake their head. Just simple determination to survive.
Julia X (2011)
Lots of gore
Kevin Sorbo is only known as 'the stranger' and he is meeting Julia at a cafe on a first meeting date, and Julia suddenly walks out. He follows her and kidnaps her and therein follows a cat and mouse game of escape and capture. But there is more to the story, and what follows is some background for Julia (she and her sister Jessica witnessed her father brutally beating her mother) which turned her into an avenger. There is a lot of gore in this movie, and the budget for blood and bloody make up must be significant. There are a lot of flaws in this movie, so it is difficult to give it a high rating. But it still keeps one interested to see how it will progress.
Rupintojelis (2022)
May have been lost in the dubbing
This may have lost a lot of the nuance in the dubbing, because what came across was not that great. It is graduation, and they will all be going their separate ways, but Marius manages to get a place where they can travel to have a party/rave. At the forest cottage, there are wooden statutes, but none have eyes. One suggested perhaps they are not meant to see. There is a lot of drinking and drugs, and four wind up in a sauna, where they get trapped and die from the heat. And because they used some of the statutes for firewood, that may be why. And along comes a masked slasher, with a hatchet, killing quite a few. Others run to their cars, and they set off the car alarm. More deaths. Marius escapes in a boat with two others, they quarrel and Marius is left in the boat with a classmate he shared a kiss with. He thought that might be the start of something wonderful, but she tells him he is probably still alive since he is so boring, even the killer won't kill him. And perhaps due to the drinking and drugs, others make the worst possible choices when faced with certain death. Nothing new in the slasher movie, and much to not care about.
The Dark: Forever Winter (2020)
Like being dropped in the middle
The three episodes seem as if they were dropped in the middle of a larger story. We first meet Lizzy, a young teenager, on her own, seeming on the run. Men are chasing dissidents. One night by her campfire, along comes Thomas, who says he means her no harm. Even shares an apple, something unheard of in those times. The dark refers to a time of hatred and violence, cold and evil. The start is really never explained. Lizzy is searching for where her brother may be. We find that Thomas (Tommy) had a family, but now only him and his daughter Alice. And there are hunters seeking to collect a bounty. The third episode give a religious overtone to the entire theme, but still with many questions posed. And that caused me to drop my rating. There needs to be more to the story.
Chong qi di qiu (2021)
Chinese busses are built strong
There are certain things one expects in Chinese films. Some heavy handed propaganda and some terrible voice actors. This movie has an interesting premise, and could have been done much better. Specially engineered plants have suddenly become sentient, and have taken over the earth, and are feeding on all human and animal life to sustain them. The sets are done well, clearly with CGI, and the plants themselves are done very well, with plant and snake like features, and there is a lot of CGI in this movie. Teams of soldiers are to set out at specific points on the globe, to inject a substance into the roots of the plants to kill them off, and all the many sites must do that at the same time. And we follow one team. But first we meet a man and his daughter. His wife worked developing the plants, and died when they attacked. And he wants to protect his daughter at all costs. The young daughter has the worst possible voice actor and very limited vocabulary and her voice will grate at a person very quickly. A cross between whining and annoying. A team meets up with the father and daughter and slowly, members of the team are killed by the plants. Things start to get very melodramatic, in an excessive manner, which is part of the propaganda with films like this. But the idea is very interesting, as long as one does not ask too many questions. There is a scene with the team and father and daughter in a bus that tells a person those busses can really take a licking.
Grabbers (2012)
" not a lobster"
This is truly a 100% Irish film, and heavy on the stereotypes, but with good nature humor. A meteor falls into the ocean off this island, and there are creatures in it. They attack a fishing boat, and it is done without really revealing what the creature is. Meanwhile, one of the local police (garda) is going on vacation, and Lisa comes to the island to cover. She is a strict by the book person, and the other garda person is Ciaran, an alcoholic. There is also a marine scientist, somewhat flippant, Adam Smith. Some pilot whales beach up, and they had lacerations but Smith says they got cut up by the rocks as they washed ashore. One of the fishermen finds a small creature in a lobster trap that he puts in his bathtub. Bad idea, as the creatures like water and blood.. It grows, attacks, and he manages to kill it and takes it to the scientist who says it seems alien, but not from out 'there'. It is not big, but is female, and that means there is much larger creature out there, the male. And naturally, it starts to rain. There are eggs and newly hatched creatures are done very well, and also funny. And they discover while the creatures like blood, alcohol is a poison to them, so one can guess how to protect oneself. There is some good comedy, but it is also done fairly well so one does not feel their time was wasted. It seems open to a sequel. The movie is not a deep or probing monster movie. Just some silly fun.
Drive-Away Dolls (2024)
Funny in 'blue'
If one is tired of the very heavy lesbian theme, a person will really hate it. It one is looking for a quirky comedy, this certain is one of those. Jamie has broken up with Sukie, and is friends with Marian. Marian is rather reserved, not really out of the closet, but Jamie certainly is, and there is a lot of humor on that subject that my be too tiring for some. Jamie and Marian take a job to drive a car to Florida, where Marian's aunt lives. So they get paid to drive a car, cutting the expenses. Little do they know it, the car has something hidden in it, which is very sought after. And a couple of totally inept goons are sent to get it back. Inept is being really too kind to describe them. Nearing their destination, they get a flat tire, and checking for the spare, they find two items that one normally does not find in a car trunk. It is not a great movie, with some missed opportunities, but still it is not a stinker. It is raunchy.
Das Haus (2021)
Part politics, part high tech
The opening scenes are the house becoming awake, with vacuums being sent out, drapes opening, etc. Johann, who wrote a political piece is in trouble. The government didn't like it, and so he gets fired. The government is heading into an election, and is getting very repressive. Johann and Lucia travel by autonomous water taxi to the house, which is on an island. The house responds to Johann, knowing where he is, what he wants, etc. So he doesn't even have to open a door. Water in the shower can be controlled through verbal commands. Even a glass of water is tailored to the person, with supplements. There is a glitch, and a technician is summoned, and he explains the system cannot be hacked, as it is isolated. The system is represented as a red sphere, perhaps an homage to the HAL computer. But is was set up for Johann, so it knows him, but he didn't include Lucia, so the house is learning about her. And something happens that Lucia was aware of, but Johann was in the dark, and that is part of the drama. The house is very interesting in itself. The movie is somewhat interesting, but very forgettable.
Andròn: The Black Labyrinth (2015)
Movies like this are important
Movies like this serve an important purpose. When watching a movie like this one, one can appreciate so much better even a three star rated movie, as this movie almost gives bad movies a bad name. There are 10 trapped in a building/maze, who do not know their names, or anything else about themselves. Apparently, it is a game where only one survives, but one quickly gets to understand that one doesn't really care who survives, as the quicker they die the sooner the movie is over. There have been numerous escape from a maze type movies, and some have made it even interesting. This movie doesn't make it interesting.
Escort Boys (2023)
Lots of warm emotions
There are a wide range of heartfelt emotions in this season 1 series. Ben's father has died, and his mother earlier, so he returns to the family farm, which raises honey from their bees. Left is his sister, Charly, who is 17 and needs to show a stable family life to remain there. The farm is on the verge of total default, with no money, and the bank ready to possess everything. Ben has good friends Ludo, Zak and Mathias. Mathias has a way with women and earns good money. Since honey cannot pay enough of the bills, they decide to try an escort service, and Charly acts as the business manager. It is done with a lot of humor and also a learning curve for them, as they are beholden to the desires of the woman who hire them. One of the subplots is that Ben is still madly in love with Romane, who has since married Chef Pierre Morand, and thinks he can still win her back. And how Ludo, being married to Nora, got an entire change in his marriage through his work. Nora became almost glowing. This series should elicit a lot of smiles from the viewer.