- Lucy: I won't read the word!
- Sam: I'm your father and I'm telling you to read the word. Cause I can tell you to because I'm your father.
- Lucy: I'm stupid.
- Sam: You are not stupid!
- Lucy: Yes, I am.
- Sam: No, you are not stupid 'cause you can read that word.
- Lucy: I don't wanna read it if you can't.
- Sam: No, because it makes me happy! It makes me happy hearing you read. Yeah, it makes me happy when you're reading.
- Lucy: [Lucy reads again]
- Lucy: Daddy, did God made for you to be like this or was it an accident?
- Sam: Ok, what do you mean?
- Lucy: I mean you're different.
- Sam: But what do you mean?
- Lucy: You're not like other daddies.
- Sam: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry.
- Lucy: It's ok, daddy. It's ok. Don't be sorry. I'm lucky. Nobody else's daddy ever comes to the park.
- Sam: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, we are lucky. Aren't we lucky? Yeah!
- Rita: Now, Ms. Cossell, in all the time that you've known them, have you ever questioned Sam's ability as a father?
- Annie: Never.
- Rita: Never?
- Annie: Never. Look at Lucy. She's strong. She displays true empathy for people, all kinds of people. I know that you all think she's as smart as she is despite him, but it's because of him.
- Rita: So what you're saying is you don't worry about Lucy's future?
- Annie: No, I do.
- Rita: Ah...
- Annie: I worry all the time. I worry if they take Lucy away from her father they will take away an enormous piece of her, and I worry that she will spend the rest of her life trying to fill that hole.
- Sam: Yeah, but I tried, I tried hard.
- Rita: Try harder!
- Sam: Yeah, but you don't know, you don't know!
- Rita: I don't know WHAT?
- Sam: Yeah, you don't know what is like when you try, and you try, and you try, and you try, and you don't ever get there! Because you were born perfect and I was born like this, and you're perfect!
- Rita: Oh, is that right?
- Sam: People like you don't know...
- Rita: People like me?
- Sam: People like you don't know what is like to get hurted. Because you don't have feelings. People like you don't feel anything!
- Rita: You think you've got the market cornered on human suffering? Let me tell you something about people like me. People like me feel lost, and little, and ugly, and dispensable. People like me have husbands, screwing other people far more perfect than me. People like me have sons who hate them. And I've screamed, I've screamed horrible things at him, at a 7 year old because he doesn't want to get in the car at the end of the day! And then he looks at me with such anger and I hate him then! I know I'm failing you! I know I'm disappointing you! I know you deserve better but get in the fucking car! It's like every morning I wake up and, I fail. And I look around and everybody seems to be pulling it off, but I-I-I can't! No matter how hard I try. Somehow, I'll never be enough.
- Sam: OK, remember when Paul McCartney wrote the song "Michelle" and then he only wrote the first part, Annie said. And then he gave that part to John Lennon, and he wrote the part that said, "I love you, I love you, I love you." And Annie said that it wouldn't have been the same song without that... and that's why the whole world cried when the Beatles broke up on April 10, 1970.
- [Sam buys a "preowned" answering machine]
- Ifty: Yeah. It's an outgoing message so I think you need to sound a little more outgoing.
- Brad: I think you should sound like, a normal person... from the heart! From... the... heart!
- Ifty: From the heart
- Sam: This argh okay hello thank you for calling this is Saaaaaaaam
- Ifty: Wow!
- Brad: I feel that was a very thouching moment right there.
- Ifty: I, I, I, I felt that one
- Sam: High five!
- All: High five!
- Conner Rhodes: Are you a retard too?
- Lucy: No!
- Conner Rhodes: How do you know?
- Lucy: Because he told me.
- Conner Rhodes: But he's a retard!
- Lucy: It takes one to know one.
- Ifty: I saw that on Channel 5 news... With the reporter with the toupee and Mr. Turner lost his toupee!
- Mr. Turner: [Narrows his eyes angrily] Thank you, Mr. Wali.
- Randy Carpenter: Sam, you're early.
- Sam: Yeah. Well, all the lights were green. When I was walking here, all the lights were green.
- Randy Carpenter: You know what? There is a reason for the court schedule. You stopped showing up. Lucy's had to rebuild her whole life, Sam.
- Sam: I want her back. I-I know I can get her back.
- Randy Carpenter: Well, that's not up to me. But I'm just gonna tell you I'm gonna do everything in my power to protect that little girl from getting hurt again. Whose dogs are these?
- Sam: These are supplemental income. Supplemental income because I wash and I walk and I feed the dogs. Sam Dawson has everything for you canine needs.
- Randy Carpenter: Let me go get your daughter.