Joao Fonseca's Reviews > The Evolution Of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating
The Evolution Of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating
by
by
Quotes:
"In western society, lifelong monogamy is often held up to be the ideal. Anyone who does not conform to this practise is regarded as deviant, immature, sinful, or a failure. Such a judgement may turn out to be the manifestation of the underlying sexual strategies of the person who upholds it. It is often in the best interest of a women, for example, to convince others of the ideal of lifelong love. Promiscuous women can pose a threat to monogamous women, siphoning off the resources, attention, and commitment of their husbands. It is often the best interest of a man to convince others to adopt a monogamous strategy, even if he fails to follow it himself. Promiscuous men usurp single men's mating opportunities and threaten to cuckold married men. The values we espouse about sexuality are often manifestations of our evolved mating strategies."
"The combination of strong coalitions among mn and relatively weak coalitions among women, according to Barbara Smuts, may have contributed historically to men's dominance over women. Women's preferences for a seccessfull, ambitious and resourceful mate and men's competitive mating strategies evolved together"
"To assume that men and women are psychologically the same, as was generally done in tradicional social science, goes against what is now known about evolved sexual psychology. Given the power of sexual selection, under which each sex competes for access to desirable mates of the other sex, it would be astonishing to find thar mens and women were psychologically identical in aspects of mating about which they have faced different problems of reproduction for millions of years. At this point in history, we can no longer doubt that men and women differ in their preferences for a mate: primarily for youth and physical attractiveness in one case, and for status, maturity, and economic resources in the other."
"Children growing up in uncertain and unpredictable environments, in short, learn that they cannot rely on a single mate. They therefore opt for a sexual life that starts early and that inclinesthemto seek immediate resources from multiple, temporary mates. In contrast, children who grow up in stable homes with predictably investing parents opt for a strategy of permanent mating because they expect to attract a stable, high-investing mate. The evidence from children of divirced homes supports this theory.Such children reach puberty earlier, engage in intercourse earlier, and have more numerous sex partners than their peers from intact homes."
"..but the anger that women feel when secually coerced and the rage men feel when cuckolded arise from our evolved mating strategies, and not from capitalism, culture or socialization. Evolution operates by the ruthless criterion of reproductive success, no matter how repugnant we may find the strategies produced by that process, and no matter how abhorrent the consequences of those strategies may be."
"There is no solidarity among all men or all women that creates a conflict between the sexes. Rather, members of one sex generally favor a common set of strategies which differs from the typical strategies pursued by members of the other sex. It is posible to speak of conflict between the sexes because the ways in which men and women typically conflict result from the strategies they share with their own sex."
"Lifelong sexual fidelity promotes harmony between a man and a woman, but it comes at a price for both sexes in relinquished opportunities. Fullfilling each other's evolved desires is the key in harmony between a man and a woman. A woman's happiness increases when the man brings more economic resources tot he union and shows kindness, affection and commitment. A man's happiness increases when the woman is more physically attractive than he is, and when she shows kindness, affection and commitment. Those who fulfill each other's desires have more fulfilling relationships. Our evolved desires, in short, proveide the essential ingredients for solving the mystery of harmony between the sexes."
"We are the first species in the known history of three and a half billion years of life on earth with the capacity to control our own destiny. The prospect of designing our destiny remains excellent to the degree that we comprehend our evolutionary past. Only by understanding why these human strategies have evolved can we control where we are going"
Women orgasm:
"... Mr. Rights hypothesis posts that female orgasms serves as a mate selection device. By choosing a man with whom she is orgasmic, a woman is presumed to be selecting a man who will stick around and invest in her and her children. Perhaps a man's sencitivity to a woman's desires, his ability to read her needs, and effort to ensure her sexual satisfaction auger well for his future as a good husband and a good dad." ; "Paternity confidence hypothesis focuses on the signal value her orgasm provides to the partner. It tells the man that she is sexually satisfied with him, and hence will not be motivated to seek sexual gratification elsewhere (...) it increases the likelihhod that he will remain commited to her and invest in her children." ; " Paternity confusion hypothesis, on the context of langur monkeys and macaques, female orgasm evolved to promote promiscuous mating. By promoting paternal uncertainty, a female could reduce the odds that any male in the group might kill her offsoring " ; "Sperm retention hypothesis, female orgasms functions to draw sperm intocervix and uterine cavity, increasing the odds of conception." ; " % ofwomen believe that sex without orgasm can be truly satisfying for the woman. Interestingly 10% more men than women believe that female orgasm is necessary for the full enjoyment , suggesting that it might be a greater preoccupation of men than women."
" In short, Mr. Right hypothesis receives some empirical support, but not in the form originally proposed. "Women are more orgasmic with regular mates who have good genetic quality, as indexed by anatomical measures of symmetry and judgements of physical attractiveness. But if they are having affairs, women preferentially choose affair partners of high genetic quality and then experience more frequent sexual orgasms in the context of their liaisons. For women having affairs, orgasm may facilitate a mating strategy of getting the best of both worlds-investment from one man who provides parenting and resources for the children, and goos genes from another man who provides little investment, but who increases the genetic quality of her children."
Affairs:
"Psichologists have identified 3 distinct attachment styles. Secure attachment style find it easy to get close to others, trust that others will be there for them and tend to form mature, anxiety-free romantic relationships. Those with and avoidant attachment style are uncorfortable with psychological closeness, find it hard to trust others and avoid being dependant on them. Those with anxious/ambivalent attachment style have deep insecurity about wheter or not others really love them.They want to get close to others and merge with a loved one, but feel that others are reluctant to get truly intimate with them. They feel that their desire for togethrtness can scare someone away (..) Secure attachment is unrelated to affairs probability-secure women are neither more nor less likely to have ana ffair. The other two styles are definetlycorrelated with extra-pair sex. Avoident women are less likely to have affairs. Anxious/ambivalent women are more likely to have affair. It´s as thought the thirst for intimacy combined with a fear of abandonment from a primary mate leads them into the arms of other men. "
"We have partial answers to why women have affairs.For women who stay with their primary partners, affairs are likely to serve as "good genes" function: obtaining investment from one man and superior DNA from another. For other women affairs serve as mate switching functions: They give women a boost in self-esteem they need to propel themselves out of one relatioship in their quest for intimacy in another."
Menstrual cycle effect:
"Women in the least fertile phase of their cycle were most attracted to the face that was slightly feminized. In sharp contrast, women in the most fertile phase of their cycle were drawn to the face that was 30 percent maculinized. The end result is that somewhat masculinized faces signal heritable fitness-a healthy immune system that can be passed down to children. In essence wome's preference for maculinized faces at ovulaion reveals a preference for "good genes" that are sometimes better secured from affair partners than from regular mates. Women may find the "good guy" qualities most attractive in regular mates since they indicate the long-term provisoning."
"In western society, lifelong monogamy is often held up to be the ideal. Anyone who does not conform to this practise is regarded as deviant, immature, sinful, or a failure. Such a judgement may turn out to be the manifestation of the underlying sexual strategies of the person who upholds it. It is often in the best interest of a women, for example, to convince others of the ideal of lifelong love. Promiscuous women can pose a threat to monogamous women, siphoning off the resources, attention, and commitment of their husbands. It is often the best interest of a man to convince others to adopt a monogamous strategy, even if he fails to follow it himself. Promiscuous men usurp single men's mating opportunities and threaten to cuckold married men. The values we espouse about sexuality are often manifestations of our evolved mating strategies."
"The combination of strong coalitions among mn and relatively weak coalitions among women, according to Barbara Smuts, may have contributed historically to men's dominance over women. Women's preferences for a seccessfull, ambitious and resourceful mate and men's competitive mating strategies evolved together"
"To assume that men and women are psychologically the same, as was generally done in tradicional social science, goes against what is now known about evolved sexual psychology. Given the power of sexual selection, under which each sex competes for access to desirable mates of the other sex, it would be astonishing to find thar mens and women were psychologically identical in aspects of mating about which they have faced different problems of reproduction for millions of years. At this point in history, we can no longer doubt that men and women differ in their preferences for a mate: primarily for youth and physical attractiveness in one case, and for status, maturity, and economic resources in the other."
"Children growing up in uncertain and unpredictable environments, in short, learn that they cannot rely on a single mate. They therefore opt for a sexual life that starts early and that inclinesthemto seek immediate resources from multiple, temporary mates. In contrast, children who grow up in stable homes with predictably investing parents opt for a strategy of permanent mating because they expect to attract a stable, high-investing mate. The evidence from children of divirced homes supports this theory.Such children reach puberty earlier, engage in intercourse earlier, and have more numerous sex partners than their peers from intact homes."
"..but the anger that women feel when secually coerced and the rage men feel when cuckolded arise from our evolved mating strategies, and not from capitalism, culture or socialization. Evolution operates by the ruthless criterion of reproductive success, no matter how repugnant we may find the strategies produced by that process, and no matter how abhorrent the consequences of those strategies may be."
"There is no solidarity among all men or all women that creates a conflict between the sexes. Rather, members of one sex generally favor a common set of strategies which differs from the typical strategies pursued by members of the other sex. It is posible to speak of conflict between the sexes because the ways in which men and women typically conflict result from the strategies they share with their own sex."
"Lifelong sexual fidelity promotes harmony between a man and a woman, but it comes at a price for both sexes in relinquished opportunities. Fullfilling each other's evolved desires is the key in harmony between a man and a woman. A woman's happiness increases when the man brings more economic resources tot he union and shows kindness, affection and commitment. A man's happiness increases when the woman is more physically attractive than he is, and when she shows kindness, affection and commitment. Those who fulfill each other's desires have more fulfilling relationships. Our evolved desires, in short, proveide the essential ingredients for solving the mystery of harmony between the sexes."
"We are the first species in the known history of three and a half billion years of life on earth with the capacity to control our own destiny. The prospect of designing our destiny remains excellent to the degree that we comprehend our evolutionary past. Only by understanding why these human strategies have evolved can we control where we are going"
Women orgasm:
"... Mr. Rights hypothesis posts that female orgasms serves as a mate selection device. By choosing a man with whom she is orgasmic, a woman is presumed to be selecting a man who will stick around and invest in her and her children. Perhaps a man's sencitivity to a woman's desires, his ability to read her needs, and effort to ensure her sexual satisfaction auger well for his future as a good husband and a good dad." ; "Paternity confidence hypothesis focuses on the signal value her orgasm provides to the partner. It tells the man that she is sexually satisfied with him, and hence will not be motivated to seek sexual gratification elsewhere (...) it increases the likelihhod that he will remain commited to her and invest in her children." ; " Paternity confusion hypothesis, on the context of langur monkeys and macaques, female orgasm evolved to promote promiscuous mating. By promoting paternal uncertainty, a female could reduce the odds that any male in the group might kill her offsoring " ; "Sperm retention hypothesis, female orgasms functions to draw sperm intocervix and uterine cavity, increasing the odds of conception." ; " % ofwomen believe that sex without orgasm can be truly satisfying for the woman. Interestingly 10% more men than women believe that female orgasm is necessary for the full enjoyment , suggesting that it might be a greater preoccupation of men than women."
" In short, Mr. Right hypothesis receives some empirical support, but not in the form originally proposed. "Women are more orgasmic with regular mates who have good genetic quality, as indexed by anatomical measures of symmetry and judgements of physical attractiveness. But if they are having affairs, women preferentially choose affair partners of high genetic quality and then experience more frequent sexual orgasms in the context of their liaisons. For women having affairs, orgasm may facilitate a mating strategy of getting the best of both worlds-investment from one man who provides parenting and resources for the children, and goos genes from another man who provides little investment, but who increases the genetic quality of her children."
Affairs:
"Psichologists have identified 3 distinct attachment styles. Secure attachment style find it easy to get close to others, trust that others will be there for them and tend to form mature, anxiety-free romantic relationships. Those with and avoidant attachment style are uncorfortable with psychological closeness, find it hard to trust others and avoid being dependant on them. Those with anxious/ambivalent attachment style have deep insecurity about wheter or not others really love them.They want to get close to others and merge with a loved one, but feel that others are reluctant to get truly intimate with them. They feel that their desire for togethrtness can scare someone away (..) Secure attachment is unrelated to affairs probability-secure women are neither more nor less likely to have ana ffair. The other two styles are definetlycorrelated with extra-pair sex. Avoident women are less likely to have affairs. Anxious/ambivalent women are more likely to have affair. It´s as thought the thirst for intimacy combined with a fear of abandonment from a primary mate leads them into the arms of other men. "
"We have partial answers to why women have affairs.For women who stay with their primary partners, affairs are likely to serve as "good genes" function: obtaining investment from one man and superior DNA from another. For other women affairs serve as mate switching functions: They give women a boost in self-esteem they need to propel themselves out of one relatioship in their quest for intimacy in another."
Menstrual cycle effect:
"Women in the least fertile phase of their cycle were most attracted to the face that was slightly feminized. In sharp contrast, women in the most fertile phase of their cycle were drawn to the face that was 30 percent maculinized. The end result is that somewhat masculinized faces signal heritable fitness-a healthy immune system that can be passed down to children. In essence wome's preference for maculinized faces at ovulaion reveals a preference for "good genes" that are sometimes better secured from affair partners than from regular mates. Women may find the "good guy" qualities most attractive in regular mates since they indicate the long-term provisoning."
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