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The Many Lives of Mama Love: A Memoir of Lying, Stealing, Writing, and Healing
Goodreads Choice Award
Nominee for Best Memoir & Autobiography (2023)No one expects the police to knock on the million-dollar, two-story home of the perfect cul-de-sac housewife. But soccer mom Lara Love Hardin has been hiding a shady secret: She is funding her heroin addiction by stealing her neighbors’ credit cards.
Lara is convicted of thirty-two felonies and becomes inmate S32179. She learns jail is a class system with a power structure somewhere between an adolescent sleepover party and Lord of the Flies. Furniture is made from tampon boxes, and Snickers bars are currency. But Lara quickly finds the rules and brings love and healing to her fellow inmates as she climbs the social ladder to become the “shot caller,” showing that jailhouse politics aren’t that different from the PTA meetings she used to attend.
When she’s released, she reinvents herself as a ghostwriter. Now, she’s legally co-opting other people’s identities and getting to meet Oprah, meditate with The Dalai Lama, and have dinner with Archbishop Desmond Tutu. But the shadow of her past follows her. Shame is a poison worse than heroin—there is no way to detox. She must learn to forgive herself and others, navigate life as a felon on probation, prove to herself that she is more good than bad, and much more.
Lara is convicted of thirty-two felonies and becomes inmate S32179. She learns jail is a class system with a power structure somewhere between an adolescent sleepover party and Lord of the Flies. Furniture is made from tampon boxes, and Snickers bars are currency. But Lara quickly finds the rules and brings love and healing to her fellow inmates as she climbs the social ladder to become the “shot caller,” showing that jailhouse politics aren’t that different from the PTA meetings she used to attend.
When she’s released, she reinvents herself as a ghostwriter. Now, she’s legally co-opting other people’s identities and getting to meet Oprah, meditate with The Dalai Lama, and have dinner with Archbishop Desmond Tutu. But the shadow of her past follows her. Shame is a poison worse than heroin—there is no way to detox. She must learn to forgive herself and others, navigate life as a felon on probation, prove to herself that she is more good than bad, and much more.
319 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 1, 2023
About the author
Lara Love Hardin
3 books616 followersLARA LOVE HARDIN is a literary agent, author, prison reform advocate, and president of True Literary. Her memoir, The Many Lives of Mama Love is a 2024 Oprah Book Club pick and a New York Times bestseller. She has an MFA in creative writing and apart from her own book, is also a five-time New York Times bestselling collaborative writer, including the #1 New York Times bestseller Designing Your Life, and 2018 Oprah Book Club pick, The Sun Does Shine, which she coauthored with Anthony Ray Hinton about his 30 years as an innocent man on Alabama’s death row. In 2019, she won a Christopher Award for her work “affirming the highest values of the human spirit,” nominated for an NAACP Image Award, and short-listed for the Dayton Literary Peace Prize. Lara is also the co-founder of The Gemma Project, a gender-responsive organization serving incarcerated and formerly incarcerated women with integrity and compassion. Love Hardin lives in La Selva Beach, California.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 4,649 reviews
September 17, 2023
Mama Mia. What a memoir.
How does a successful woman, wife and mother, spiral out of control? Drugs will do that to you. Addiction will pin you down and keep you there. At the cost of losing your children. Losing yourself.
Lara Love addicted to heroin and opiates until she gets charged with 32 felonies. She flips her hustle into healing in jail. Her empathy, compassion and education moving her up through the ranks. She acquires the title, Mama Love, and the respect from the inmates.
But returning to the real world is like clawing your way out of a deep, dark hole. Fighting the cycle of addiction. Including those who you surround yourself with. Fighting the stigma of being a felon. Even old neighbours can hold a grudge for years.
However, hope and perseverance can light the way- even when three steps back are required to move one forward.
A stunning story of addiction, recovery and forgiveness.
4⭐️
And now I must search out The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row as she co-authored this one.
How does a successful woman, wife and mother, spiral out of control? Drugs will do that to you. Addiction will pin you down and keep you there. At the cost of losing your children. Losing yourself.
Lara Love addicted to heroin and opiates until she gets charged with 32 felonies. She flips her hustle into healing in jail. Her empathy, compassion and education moving her up through the ranks. She acquires the title, Mama Love, and the respect from the inmates.
But returning to the real world is like clawing your way out of a deep, dark hole. Fighting the cycle of addiction. Including those who you surround yourself with. Fighting the stigma of being a felon. Even old neighbours can hold a grudge for years.
However, hope and perseverance can light the way- even when three steps back are required to move one forward.
A stunning story of addiction, recovery and forgiveness.
4⭐️
And now I must search out The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row as she co-authored this one.
August 1, 2023
Inspirational memoir.
I never thought I would be able to relate to a memoir containing addiction and incarceration, but I was thoroughly surprised! Hardin's writing ability is stellar and her words are so authentic that I couldn't help but find similarities between our lives.
I learned a lot about incarceration and the insights made me realize that the system is so much more broken than I had realized. This book is an ultimate tale of redemption and overcoming, made all the more so because the system is set up for failure.
If you're looking for a surprising, interesting, and thoughtful memoir, this is an excellent choice.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, all opinions are my own.
I never thought I would be able to relate to a memoir containing addiction and incarceration, but I was thoroughly surprised! Hardin's writing ability is stellar and her words are so authentic that I couldn't help but find similarities between our lives.
I learned a lot about incarceration and the insights made me realize that the system is so much more broken than I had realized. This book is an ultimate tale of redemption and overcoming, made all the more so because the system is set up for failure.
If you're looking for a surprising, interesting, and thoughtful memoir, this is an excellent choice.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, all opinions are my own.
September 20, 2023
**Many thanks to @SimonBooks and Lara Love Hardin for a gifted copy of this book in exchange for an honest review! Now available as of 8.1!**
"Escape was always my real addiction, the one true high. Books were just my gateway drug. Sex just got me pregnant. Food just made me puffy. Vicodin just helped me pretend I was happy. The heroin, though, that gave me everything I had ever wanted--peace, joy, escape.
Until it didn't.
And everything I knew and everyone I loved was gone.”
Lara Love Hardin was the model Mom Next Door: good job, fancy house, lovely family. Until one day she finds herself leading a very different life, stealing credit cards out of her neighbors' mailboxes to help fund her drug addiction. Hardin would do anything for her kids, so she attempts to shield them from this lifestyle and outrun the law. But when the cops show up at her door, she ends up convicted of 32 felonies...and set to potentially lose custody of her youngest son forever.
The year in confinement passes slowly for Hardin, but she struggles to find her way and her place in the hierarchy of the jail, eventually earning the moniker "Mama Love." But with her opportunity to hold onto custody hanging in the balance and a certain man in her life encouraging her to go right back to drugs, can Mama Love embrace the possibilities and potential of a brand new life? Or is the pull of addiction enough to keep her held tight in its deadly snare?
I knew very little about Hardin going into this book, but by the end of the first chapter, that feeling was but a fleeting memory. Hardin is a deep and reflective soul, a word nerd, and she has struggled with insecurity and feeling out of place for much of her life. In other words? We have a LOT in common...and I was INSTANTLY enraptured by her story. This memoir is the kind of read that ALMOST feels like fiction, because the narrative was SO compelling. Hardin takes the reader on such an intense journey in such a short amount of time, and as a reader, you genuinely have no idea where she's headed next!
Hardin explores the shame and stigma that society places on those who have been incarcerated AND systemic problems surrounding recidivism all while never holding back the good, bad, and ugly of her own journey, and she does so with a beautiful vulnerability that will touch your heart. Her journey isn't linear, and neither is pain: but when I tell you it ends with the Dalai Lama and Oprah...well, you have to read it to believe it! 😉
And by journey's end, Mama Love herself sums up her journey best: "I know I have a lot more inner work to do. I thought I had to convince the whole world that I am more than the worst thing I have done, the worst person I have been, but really I just have to convince myself."
4 stars
#SimonBooksBuddy #themanylivesofmamalove
"Escape was always my real addiction, the one true high. Books were just my gateway drug. Sex just got me pregnant. Food just made me puffy. Vicodin just helped me pretend I was happy. The heroin, though, that gave me everything I had ever wanted--peace, joy, escape.
Until it didn't.
And everything I knew and everyone I loved was gone.”
Lara Love Hardin was the model Mom Next Door: good job, fancy house, lovely family. Until one day she finds herself leading a very different life, stealing credit cards out of her neighbors' mailboxes to help fund her drug addiction. Hardin would do anything for her kids, so she attempts to shield them from this lifestyle and outrun the law. But when the cops show up at her door, she ends up convicted of 32 felonies...and set to potentially lose custody of her youngest son forever.
The year in confinement passes slowly for Hardin, but she struggles to find her way and her place in the hierarchy of the jail, eventually earning the moniker "Mama Love." But with her opportunity to hold onto custody hanging in the balance and a certain man in her life encouraging her to go right back to drugs, can Mama Love embrace the possibilities and potential of a brand new life? Or is the pull of addiction enough to keep her held tight in its deadly snare?
I knew very little about Hardin going into this book, but by the end of the first chapter, that feeling was but a fleeting memory. Hardin is a deep and reflective soul, a word nerd, and she has struggled with insecurity and feeling out of place for much of her life. In other words? We have a LOT in common...and I was INSTANTLY enraptured by her story. This memoir is the kind of read that ALMOST feels like fiction, because the narrative was SO compelling. Hardin takes the reader on such an intense journey in such a short amount of time, and as a reader, you genuinely have no idea where she's headed next!
Hardin explores the shame and stigma that society places on those who have been incarcerated AND systemic problems surrounding recidivism all while never holding back the good, bad, and ugly of her own journey, and she does so with a beautiful vulnerability that will touch your heart. Her journey isn't linear, and neither is pain: but when I tell you it ends with the Dalai Lama and Oprah...well, you have to read it to believe it! 😉
And by journey's end, Mama Love herself sums up her journey best: "I know I have a lot more inner work to do. I thought I had to convince the whole world that I am more than the worst thing I have done, the worst person I have been, but really I just have to convince myself."
4 stars
#SimonBooksBuddy #themanylivesofmamalove
September 14, 2023
The Many Lives of Mama Love is Lara Love Hardin’s memoir of “lying, stealing, writing and healing”. In one of the first chapters, Lara recounts checking into a hotel with her youngest son by using a stolen credit card. Of course, her actions were wrong, but wow, the stress induced just reading this early scene! Lara and her husband were funding their heroin addiction through stolen credit cards and are eventually caught.
Lara is convicted of 32 felonies. She spent a year in jail and upon her release, worked diligently to redeem herself, regain custody of her youngest son, and be the mother she wanted to be to all of her sons. She faced numerous obstacles with finances, some probation requirements, and her exes. Lara began working at a literary agency and despite making great strides, also had to battle her constant companion, shame, for her past behavior and resulting reputation through the neighborhood.
Today, Lara is a successful literary agent and ghostwriter. I have read and enjoyed The Book of Joy and The Sun Does Shine, two excellent books she worked on. This memoir is only further proof she can write. I am a big believer in righting wrongs including paying consequences. That said, I also believe people can change when they truly want to, and work to. The Many Lives of Mama Love is a real redemption story — 4.5 stars
Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for providing an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
Lara is convicted of 32 felonies. She spent a year in jail and upon her release, worked diligently to redeem herself, regain custody of her youngest son, and be the mother she wanted to be to all of her sons. She faced numerous obstacles with finances, some probation requirements, and her exes. Lara began working at a literary agency and despite making great strides, also had to battle her constant companion, shame, for her past behavior and resulting reputation through the neighborhood.
Today, Lara is a successful literary agent and ghostwriter. I have read and enjoyed The Book of Joy and The Sun Does Shine, two excellent books she worked on. This memoir is only further proof she can write. I am a big believer in righting wrongs including paying consequences. That said, I also believe people can change when they truly want to, and work to. The Many Lives of Mama Love is a real redemption story — 4.5 stars
Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for providing an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
June 18, 2023
A soccer mom turned addict
I liked this memoir about a rich soccer mom who has a secret opioid addiction, steals money from friends, and ends up in jail. The story flows just like a good novel. There’s a lot of dialogue, and I always flinch a bit when a writer uses dialogue and quotation marks a lot in a memoir—how could she possibly remember such detailed conversations from her past? The dialogue made the story richer and more dramatic, but it made the memoir lose a little credibility, too. It reminds me that I can’t believe everything I read. Conversations could not possibly have gone down exactly like she said.
I was pulled into this memoir from page 1. Before you know it, she’s in jail. Her four-year-old son is sent to live with relatives (though not blood relatives), but she’s freaked, of course. It looked like her prison sentence would be long and she would lose custody. I can’t believe it (because I know a lot about addiction), but I felt judgy! (I hang my head in shock and embarrassment!) I couldn’t stand that she had risked depriving a kid of his mom for what looked to be his whole life—and she had three other boys, too, who lived with their dad. What was she thinking to let herself get addicted? Ha, yes, I know that’s not how addiction works—of course she didn’t choose to take a risk that might end in her losing her sons, but still, I was miffed. I’m a mama bear when I come across a really bad mom; I want to protect the youngins.
But I forgave her as the story progressed. She became a hero of sorts in jail, helping other women write appeals and letters. Her husband was a doozy, and I liked how well she outlined their complex relationship. I don’t want to spoil the story, so I won’t tell you anything more. I’ll only say that she continued to be a hero in my eyes. She was so strong and persistent and patient.
A couple of things bugged me—things she left out. For instance, she didn’t talk about how rough it was to detox in jail. I would have thought she’d go into that because of how hard and major kicking an addiction is. Also, she doesn’t explain how she afforded things on the outside. I’m guessing she chose to leave these topics out, but I wanted to know about them.
The main gist of the story is about how messed up the jail story is in America, how once you get in the system, it’s nearly impossible to get out. Much food for thought. She gets her point across without being preachy, which I appreciate.
The story is riveting and so well told. The author is a writer by trade, and she has the chops for sure. I was sucked into her life completely and was rooting for her all the way. But—and this is weird—it’s been a few weeks since I finished reading this book, and I don’t have that glow-y feeling that happens when I think back on a good book. So I guess all that means is that it doesn’t fall into the Amazing Book category. But after my initial, short judgy period, I just loved reading the book, and that’s what counts.
Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy.
Expected publication date: August 1, 2023
I liked this memoir about a rich soccer mom who has a secret opioid addiction, steals money from friends, and ends up in jail. The story flows just like a good novel. There’s a lot of dialogue, and I always flinch a bit when a writer uses dialogue and quotation marks a lot in a memoir—how could she possibly remember such detailed conversations from her past? The dialogue made the story richer and more dramatic, but it made the memoir lose a little credibility, too. It reminds me that I can’t believe everything I read. Conversations could not possibly have gone down exactly like she said.
I was pulled into this memoir from page 1. Before you know it, she’s in jail. Her four-year-old son is sent to live with relatives (though not blood relatives), but she’s freaked, of course. It looked like her prison sentence would be long and she would lose custody. I can’t believe it (because I know a lot about addiction), but I felt judgy! (I hang my head in shock and embarrassment!) I couldn’t stand that she had risked depriving a kid of his mom for what looked to be his whole life—and she had three other boys, too, who lived with their dad. What was she thinking to let herself get addicted? Ha, yes, I know that’s not how addiction works—of course she didn’t choose to take a risk that might end in her losing her sons, but still, I was miffed. I’m a mama bear when I come across a really bad mom; I want to protect the youngins.
But I forgave her as the story progressed. She became a hero of sorts in jail, helping other women write appeals and letters. Her husband was a doozy, and I liked how well she outlined their complex relationship. I don’t want to spoil the story, so I won’t tell you anything more. I’ll only say that she continued to be a hero in my eyes. She was so strong and persistent and patient.
A couple of things bugged me—things she left out. For instance, she didn’t talk about how rough it was to detox in jail. I would have thought she’d go into that because of how hard and major kicking an addiction is. Also, she doesn’t explain how she afforded things on the outside. I’m guessing she chose to leave these topics out, but I wanted to know about them.
The main gist of the story is about how messed up the jail story is in America, how once you get in the system, it’s nearly impossible to get out. Much food for thought. She gets her point across without being preachy, which I appreciate.
The story is riveting and so well told. The author is a writer by trade, and she has the chops for sure. I was sucked into her life completely and was rooting for her all the way. But—and this is weird—it’s been a few weeks since I finished reading this book, and I don’t have that glow-y feeling that happens when I think back on a good book. So I guess all that means is that it doesn’t fall into the Amazing Book category. But after my initial, short judgy period, I just loved reading the book, and that’s what counts.
Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy.
Expected publication date: August 1, 2023
November 18, 2023
“No villain ever thinks of herself as a villain, and certainly in the story I told about my life I was always the good guy.”
So writes Hardin, early on in the memoir, and it could be the tagline for the entire book. Her memoir reads like an attempt to recast herself as the hero rather than the bad guy. I suppose that’s the prerogative of anyone writing memoir, and it’s then up to the reader to decide how much credence to lend the writer’s tale.
The thing is, I had trouble accepting Hardin’s portrayal of herself as the down-on-her-luck, yet compassionate and forgiving “Mama Love” (a title bestowed on her by her fellow inmates). Part of the reason may have been the writing style- the memoir reads almost more like sensational fiction at times, particularly at the beginning when she is recounting her arrest and drug use. Beyond that though, I was often left with the feeling that she was cherry-picking the bits of the story she wanted the reader to know, while omitting other crucial details. For example, Hardin refers frequently to trauma in her past, early loss and neglect by her family, crediting it for many of her issues as an adult, yet she never goes into any sort of detail, a gap which feels almost manipulative: Bad things happened to me as a child, so feel sorry for me, and don’t ask me any questions about it!
Equally telling are all the pieces of herself she shows- Hardin spends a good chunk of the book emphasizing how much she misses her sons, particularly her four-year-old. While it’s unquestionably true, it’s also heavy-handed, and comes across like more emotional blackmail: Root for me, because a child’s safety depends on it!
(A little side note here: Hardin must highlight a dozen times in this book that she and her son are blond. Why is this important? Why does she need to keep reiterating it? So that we'll pity and root for the poor, white, blond lady and her blond, blue-eyed son?)
The Hardin of the story is therefore portrayed as a doting, determined mother, both to her sons and everyone else in the cell block (though this is another place where she’s light on the detail- we're told rather than shown what a positive impact she has on everyone around her). Arrayed against her is an unfair system determined to see her fail. As the story revolves pretty narrowly round the author’s personal experiences however, don’t expect an in-depth exploration of the inequalities of the US justice system, or its for-profit prison system. Any mention of this throughout the book is always framed as a complaint about her personal suffering.
She also casts a number of her personal acquaintances in the role of villain. The D.A. and his wife want her in jail! (This is supposedly due to a personal vendetta, i.e. the fact that she slept with the D.A. many years ago, and can in no way be related to the many felonies she's committed). Her ex-husband’s wife is out to destroy her! (Yet another jealous spouse, this one apparently hates Hardin because she's childless). Her current husband introduced her to heroin, thus bringing about her downfall! (Never mind that he is still an addict- Hardin is allowed grace for the bad decisions she makes under the influence, but someone else still needs to take the blame in this story.)
Clearly, to look at other reviews, my opinion is in the minority. The book is reasonably well-written, has some moderate entertainment value, and a whole lot of platitudes. So if you’re looking for a feel-good tale about a mom working hard to win back her kids, go right ahead and pick this up. If you want a memoir with more substance and style, one where the author isn't blatantly seeking praise and validation, try something like The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls or Dreams of My Father by Barack Obama.
So writes Hardin, early on in the memoir, and it could be the tagline for the entire book. Her memoir reads like an attempt to recast herself as the hero rather than the bad guy. I suppose that’s the prerogative of anyone writing memoir, and it’s then up to the reader to decide how much credence to lend the writer’s tale.
The thing is, I had trouble accepting Hardin’s portrayal of herself as the down-on-her-luck, yet compassionate and forgiving “Mama Love” (a title bestowed on her by her fellow inmates). Part of the reason may have been the writing style- the memoir reads almost more like sensational fiction at times, particularly at the beginning when she is recounting her arrest and drug use. Beyond that though, I was often left with the feeling that she was cherry-picking the bits of the story she wanted the reader to know, while omitting other crucial details. For example, Hardin refers frequently to trauma in her past, early loss and neglect by her family, crediting it for many of her issues as an adult, yet she never goes into any sort of detail, a gap which feels almost manipulative: Bad things happened to me as a child, so feel sorry for me, and don’t ask me any questions about it!
Equally telling are all the pieces of herself she shows- Hardin spends a good chunk of the book emphasizing how much she misses her sons, particularly her four-year-old. While it’s unquestionably true, it’s also heavy-handed, and comes across like more emotional blackmail: Root for me, because a child’s safety depends on it!
(A little side note here: Hardin must highlight a dozen times in this book that she and her son are blond. Why is this important? Why does she need to keep reiterating it? So that we'll pity and root for the poor, white, blond lady and her blond, blue-eyed son?)
The Hardin of the story is therefore portrayed as a doting, determined mother, both to her sons and everyone else in the cell block (though this is another place where she’s light on the detail- we're told rather than shown what a positive impact she has on everyone around her). Arrayed against her is an unfair system determined to see her fail. As the story revolves pretty narrowly round the author’s personal experiences however, don’t expect an in-depth exploration of the inequalities of the US justice system, or its for-profit prison system. Any mention of this throughout the book is always framed as a complaint about her personal suffering.
She also casts a number of her personal acquaintances in the role of villain. The D.A. and his wife want her in jail! (This is supposedly due to a personal vendetta, i.e. the fact that she slept with the D.A. many years ago, and can in no way be related to the many felonies she's committed). Her ex-husband’s wife is out to destroy her! (Yet another jealous spouse, this one apparently hates Hardin because she's childless). Her current husband introduced her to heroin, thus bringing about her downfall! (Never mind that he is still an addict- Hardin is allowed grace for the bad decisions she makes under the influence, but someone else still needs to take the blame in this story.)
Clearly, to look at other reviews, my opinion is in the minority. The book is reasonably well-written, has some moderate entertainment value, and a whole lot of platitudes. So if you’re looking for a feel-good tale about a mom working hard to win back her kids, go right ahead and pick this up. If you want a memoir with more substance and style, one where the author isn't blatantly seeking praise and validation, try something like The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls or Dreams of My Father by Barack Obama.
January 21, 2024
This memoir was a trip. 🤯 It’s terribly sad how addiction can ruin lives. 😢 This redemption story is worth the read! 👍
August 8, 2023
This book is beautifully written and painfully honest. I work in child welfare (CPS is how it’s referred in this book) and books like this are why I do the work I do. I don’t know if Lara’s caseworker was her partner towards reunification but that’s the caseworker I strive to be. One of the best memoirs I’ve read in a long time! I can definitely tell how Lara became a best selling New York Times author because she has a talent with words. Lara Love was a soccer mom hiding an addiction she fueled with theft until police come to her home and turn her life upside down. This book is her journey from arrest to healing. This book is about being human, making mistakes and then picking up and doing our best to fix them. This book is about trauma and forgiveness, especially self forgiveness. Definitely a must read memoir.
August 23, 2023
I liked the beginning of this book. Probably up through the first two thirds, but the ending lost me. It was the same chapter over and over again but with the name of the person who believed in her despite everything changed. It felt cheap.
Edit: The more I think about this, the less I like it. She really did get a slap on the wrist for the amount of crimes she was accused of, and she kept saying how horrible of a person she was and how she deserved her punishment, but also loudly protested against the charges any time they were brought up. If I were one of her victims reading this book I wouldn't feel like justice was served.
Edit: The more I think about this, the less I like it. She really did get a slap on the wrist for the amount of crimes she was accused of, and she kept saying how horrible of a person she was and how she deserved her punishment, but also loudly protested against the charges any time they were brought up. If I were one of her victims reading this book I wouldn't feel like justice was served.
August 7, 2023
There was a surprising lack of depth and introspection.
August 1, 2023
Makes me want to finally get around to The Sun Does Shine.
Lara is a wonderful writer. I’m so glad she was vulnerable enough to share her story with us.
Powerful messages of forgiveness, acceptance and redemption.
Update to review:
Lara jumps right into it with her memoir when the police come knocking at her door and arrest her and her husband for drug possession. From soccer Mom to “The Neighbor from Hell” to best-selling author, the reader follows Lara in her journey to healing.
I don’t want to say too many specifics about what the author shares but some of my favorite messages of forgiveness and acceptance are prevalent and not without an uphill battle to get there. My heart ached throughout and the tears were flowing.
I’m grateful for the authors vulnerability in sharing her story and think her story will touch many readers hearts. We can be more than the worst thing we have ever done.
Lara is a wonderful writer. I’m so glad she was vulnerable enough to share her story with us.
Powerful messages of forgiveness, acceptance and redemption.
Update to review:
Lara jumps right into it with her memoir when the police come knocking at her door and arrest her and her husband for drug possession. From soccer Mom to “The Neighbor from Hell” to best-selling author, the reader follows Lara in her journey to healing.
I don’t want to say too many specifics about what the author shares but some of my favorite messages of forgiveness and acceptance are prevalent and not without an uphill battle to get there. My heart ached throughout and the tears were flowing.
I’m grateful for the authors vulnerability in sharing her story and think her story will touch many readers hearts. We can be more than the worst thing we have ever done.
August 15, 2023
This is why I read memoirs. They take me out of my own (often narrow-minded) mindset, and allow me to put myself in another person’s shoes.
I’m reminded that every individual is likely dealing with all kinds of things that I know nothing about, and empathy and compassion are never the wrong way to respond to someone.
Lara Love Hardin shares her story of addiction, incarceration, and recovery with honesty and humility. Much like The Sun Does Shine, I felt so much sadness about our treatment of felons and those in prison while reading this book.
It is one that will stick with me.
I’m reminded that every individual is likely dealing with all kinds of things that I know nothing about, and empathy and compassion are never the wrong way to respond to someone.
Lara Love Hardin shares her story of addiction, incarceration, and recovery with honesty and humility. Much like The Sun Does Shine, I felt so much sadness about our treatment of felons and those in prison while reading this book.
It is one that will stick with me.
April 9, 2024
I struggle to rate memoirs because obviously each person's story is their own. So in this case the issue is not her life but the way she chose to share it with us.
The description of "The Many Lives of Mama Love" feels very different from what the book actually was. "Jailhouse shot caller" seems a bit dramatic.
The early chapters of the book were quite interesting. It began to get flat and boring to me as the book went on. There was a startling absence of introspection. I thought we would have gotten some sort of evaluation about how she ended up where she was, what may have lead her to make the choices she made. There was none of that. Almost no discussion of her life prior to her arrest. In the prologue she thanks a new found family and then notes that is a subject for another book. That instantly made me roll my eyes. This might have been a more interesting story if she had talked about aspects of her family - new and old and how all of that contributed to all that she became.
Her ability to rise above her mistakes was indeed admirable but the last at least 1/3 of the book felt like she was name dropping to convince us and maybe herself that she had truly moved beyond the woman who was initially arrested. She did, at least, succeed in convincing me to download one of the books she had written about a wrongly convicted man.
I did appreciate Love Hardin's attempts to highlight some of the issues within the criminal justice system and the ways it is set up to keep inmates from being able to reintegrate into society. However, many times she seemed to take a victim position without owning all she did to end up where she was and all the privilige she had (someone to look after her kids, education, mother in law with money, access to an attorney, relatively low sentence, etc) even in her lowest moments.
Overall, though "The Many Lives of Mama Love" was relatvely well written, I found it flat and boring and truly felt like a wasted opportunity to explore the many facets of addiction and ultimately redemption.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read an advanced reader copy in exchange for my honest review.
The description of "The Many Lives of Mama Love" feels very different from what the book actually was. "Jailhouse shot caller" seems a bit dramatic.
The early chapters of the book were quite interesting. It began to get flat and boring to me as the book went on. There was a startling absence of introspection. I thought we would have gotten some sort of evaluation about how she ended up where she was, what may have lead her to make the choices she made. There was none of that. Almost no discussion of her life prior to her arrest. In the prologue she thanks a new found family and then notes that is a subject for another book. That instantly made me roll my eyes. This might have been a more interesting story if she had talked about aspects of her family - new and old and how all of that contributed to all that she became.
Her ability to rise above her mistakes was indeed admirable but the last at least 1/3 of the book felt like she was name dropping to convince us and maybe herself that she had truly moved beyond the woman who was initially arrested. She did, at least, succeed in convincing me to download one of the books she had written about a wrongly convicted man.
I did appreciate Love Hardin's attempts to highlight some of the issues within the criminal justice system and the ways it is set up to keep inmates from being able to reintegrate into society. However, many times she seemed to take a victim position without owning all she did to end up where she was and all the privilige she had (someone to look after her kids, education, mother in law with money, access to an attorney, relatively low sentence, etc) even in her lowest moments.
Overall, though "The Many Lives of Mama Love" was relatvely well written, I found it flat and boring and truly felt like a wasted opportunity to explore the many facets of addiction and ultimately redemption.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read an advanced reader copy in exchange for my honest review.
August 23, 2023
A super quick and easy read. Maybe because I've binged stuff like Girls Incarcerated and Jailbirds on Netflix, her story wasn't eye opening or anything.
I didn't feel like it was hard hitting, and I blame that on the narration. A whole lot of "first this thing happened, and then this happened. I thought about it. I meditated. And finally when I thought I had it all together another thing happened. " You know?
We don't get a lot of information about what her life was like before her drug habit. References to her previous relationships and lifestyle are made as offhand remarks or maybe a paragraph if we're lucky, so I still haven't gotten an idea about her as a person. Her experiences in jail that have led to her writing this aren't special, and I was looking for something that would actually help me understand why these experiences made the impact on her they did. Sure, yeah, traumatizing things, but there was no avenue for me to really put myself in her shoes and empathize throughout her narration.
I've definitely read newspaper articles that do a better job of creating interest and curiosity in the reader.
I didn't feel like it was hard hitting, and I blame that on the narration. A whole lot of "first this thing happened, and then this happened. I thought about it. I meditated. And finally when I thought I had it all together another thing happened. " You know?
We don't get a lot of information about what her life was like before her drug habit. References to her previous relationships and lifestyle are made as offhand remarks or maybe a paragraph if we're lucky, so I still haven't gotten an idea about her as a person. Her experiences in jail that have led to her writing this aren't special, and I was looking for something that would actually help me understand why these experiences made the impact on her they did. Sure, yeah, traumatizing things, but there was no avenue for me to really put myself in her shoes and empathize throughout her narration.
I've definitely read newspaper articles that do a better job of creating interest and curiosity in the reader.
June 27, 2023
This was a fascinating account of a woman who triumphed against all odds over drug addiction, imprisonment for identity theft/illegal drugs, and the threat of losing custody of her youngest child. I was riveted by the desperate and crafty tactics she used to survive while in the throws of her addiction. The politics of prison life was also quite an education with its popularity contests and the underbelly of smuggling in drugs. This woman hit rock bottom and came within a hair of ending it all in prison.
The author communicates from the heart to reach the reader who might have a hard heart about the court system. She conveys from personal experience how difficult and perhaps unfair the rules are regarding probation and restitution. Many will sympathise with her plight, fighting to get employment and lodgings without the stain of prejudice because of her prison record. A sincere desire to start out fresh with honesty and a clean life can be made very difficult when a Google search delivers scandalous articles of a shameful past.
This is a true story of hard won redemption in resetting a life destroyed by drugs. Since Hardin has been a very successful co-writer of other famous people's best sellers, it is to the author's credit for sharing an embarrassing story to shed light on a not always fair legal system.
Thank you to the publisher Simon & Schuster for providing an advance reader copy via NetGalley.
February 3, 2024
2.5 rounded down. I am having a major “AITA?” complex lately after reading so many popular memoirs that I just don’t end up liking very much. I am always saddened to hear of the terrible life events - usually mental health-related issues, including substance abuse disorder - that the authors had to endure, but no matter how awful these events are and how much I hate that people have to go through them, I can’t always connect with or appreciate the “product” of the memoir or the “relic” that the memoir represents.
I’ve been trying to figure out the root of this dissatisfaction and hope to share more later, but I wanted first to recommend Keri Blakinger’s Corrections In Ink, another (and I believe more literary and “redemption through reading and writing” oriented) substance use disorder and incarceration memoir that I found superior to The Many Lives of Mama Love.
I was surprised, reading this one, how much acclaim it’s gotten. After a stronger start, for me it became a bit too superficial with a lot of events glossed over or relayed in a sort of transactional way, not enough introspection or reflection (there were so many moments where I was like, “Oh, so we’re just gonna…move right along from that?… seems like a wasted opportunity….) and some name dropping that starts to seem self-aggrandizing, or is at least grating. (At one point, Oprah’s name is just endlessly repeated, in breathless sentences.)
I think addiction memoirs are ultimately always worth reading - it’s an important and misunderstood public health issue - so read the one that appeals to you. And maybe this one is a palatable entry-level one for some folks. It’s perfectly fine! But it’s a crowded field of memoirs out there, and in my opinion, there isn’t a whole lot of reflection, depth, analysis, or insight in this one to help a reader really understand the process of addiction and recovery and maintenance. It sorts of goes quickly and seamlessly in very Lifetime Movie fashion from some drug use snapshots to a brief prison stint, lots of court case sequences of events, and then triumph as signified by hanging out with the likes of Oprah and the Dalai Lama. There is some acknowledgment of personal privilege that impacted how things worked out for her, but there could be more. This was all just my impression. Maybe how much you appreciate this memoir has to do with what other related books and experiences you have to compare it with.
I also wanted to mention that I decided to read the Mama Love book after Crystal Hefner thanks the author and her literary agency at the end of Crystal’s recent memoir. In contrast to this one, though, I really liked Crystal’s memoir, and I recommend it!
I’ve been trying to figure out the root of this dissatisfaction and hope to share more later, but I wanted first to recommend Keri Blakinger’s Corrections In Ink, another (and I believe more literary and “redemption through reading and writing” oriented) substance use disorder and incarceration memoir that I found superior to The Many Lives of Mama Love.
I was surprised, reading this one, how much acclaim it’s gotten. After a stronger start, for me it became a bit too superficial with a lot of events glossed over or relayed in a sort of transactional way, not enough introspection or reflection (there were so many moments where I was like, “Oh, so we’re just gonna…move right along from that?… seems like a wasted opportunity….) and some name dropping that starts to seem self-aggrandizing, or is at least grating. (At one point, Oprah’s name is just endlessly repeated, in breathless sentences.)
I think addiction memoirs are ultimately always worth reading - it’s an important and misunderstood public health issue - so read the one that appeals to you. And maybe this one is a palatable entry-level one for some folks. It’s perfectly fine! But it’s a crowded field of memoirs out there, and in my opinion, there isn’t a whole lot of reflection, depth, analysis, or insight in this one to help a reader really understand the process of addiction and recovery and maintenance. It sorts of goes quickly and seamlessly in very Lifetime Movie fashion from some drug use snapshots to a brief prison stint, lots of court case sequences of events, and then triumph as signified by hanging out with the likes of Oprah and the Dalai Lama. There is some acknowledgment of personal privilege that impacted how things worked out for her, but there could be more. This was all just my impression. Maybe how much you appreciate this memoir has to do with what other related books and experiences you have to compare it with.
I also wanted to mention that I decided to read the Mama Love book after Crystal Hefner thanks the author and her literary agency at the end of Crystal’s recent memoir. In contrast to this one, though, I really liked Crystal’s memoir, and I recommend it!
Read
August 8, 2023I don’t like rating memoirs because it’s someone’s life and experiences and who am I to judge and put a rating on their truth. (I guess except for Educated which I genuinely hated 😆).
I will say though that this was a very moving memoir and I enjoyed listening to Lara narrate it on the audiobook. She has had an incredible life and I’m glad I was able to learn more about her. I’m sure she could have made this book 3x as long with more details, but I liked it.
If you like redemption stories, you may like this one!
Triggers: jail time, drug use, language, child services ie CPS
I will say though that this was a very moving memoir and I enjoyed listening to Lara narrate it on the audiobook. She has had an incredible life and I’m glad I was able to learn more about her. I’m sure she could have made this book 3x as long with more details, but I liked it.
If you like redemption stories, you may like this one!
Triggers: jail time, drug use, language, child services ie CPS
September 13, 2023
The Many Lives of Mama Love is a memoir about one educated white woman’s journey from opioid-using soccer mom to jail to becoming a New York Times bestselling ghostwriter.
At the time I finished reading The Many Lives of Mama Love, I rated the book 3.5 stars. However, the more I thought about the narrative and Lara Love Hardin’s self-depiction, the more I realized how problematic this memoir really is.
I found the first third of the book by far the most interesting. After this point, the story becomes less and less compelling and increasingly repetitive. For a memoir, The Many Lives of Mama Love has a prodigious lack of depth and introspection. Hardin fails to explore the implications or causes of events. For example, she does not list all the crimes with which she was charged. Furthermore, she does not do any deep dives into the emotional aspects of her story nor allow herself to be vulnerable. In the end, I was unsure how Hardin’s experiences actually impacted her. She states that she is a bad person, but she in no way convinced me she actually thinks that about herself.
These issues are further exacerbated by Hardin’s writing. The prose is a simple recounting of events that reminded me more of a regional newspaper than a book. In addition, Hardin jumps through time from chapter to chapter without specifying the length of time that passed. I hoped that this memoir would give me a firsthand account of how addiction feels and directly affects someone’s actions. But Hardin’s failure to describe emotions and motivations means readers are left with no greater understanding.
While reading, I quickly recognized that Hardin failed to address her privilege. I struggled with the fact Hardin skips over all of the blatant advantages she was given as an educated white woman, both within and outside the (in)justice system. On top of this seemingly lack of recognition for her privilege, the narrative borders on white saviorism at times.
In the end, the memoir felt like an attempt by Hardin to recast herself as the hero of her story. While she says she is a bad person, it is a laughable utterance amid pages and pages that attempt to depict her otherwise. Hardin worked hard to portray herself as a caring and compassionate mother. Although she stole from friends and family to get high, Hardin emphasizes how this actually was an altruistic attempt to ensure her children did not go hungry (despite the majority of her money going towards drugs). (Note: I do have compassion for those with drug use disorders, but Hardin failed to truly take responsibility for her actions.) Furthermore, Hardin cherry-picked details and events in a manner that bordered on manipulative. For instance, she repeatedly blamed her childhood trauma for her addiction but never actually specified what happened or how to led to her need to escape into a high. For me, it felt like another convenient scapegoat. I could prattle on, but you likely get the picture.
Overall, The Many Lives of Mama Love is a memoir that fails to make an overarching statement. The only inspiring aspect of this book is how well Hardin fell upwards after jail, retained her massive privilege, and continues to be successful. If you love stories where white women toot their own horn, have I found the book for you! Otherwise, I do not recommend this one.
At the time I finished reading The Many Lives of Mama Love, I rated the book 3.5 stars. However, the more I thought about the narrative and Lara Love Hardin’s self-depiction, the more I realized how problematic this memoir really is.
I found the first third of the book by far the most interesting. After this point, the story becomes less and less compelling and increasingly repetitive. For a memoir, The Many Lives of Mama Love has a prodigious lack of depth and introspection. Hardin fails to explore the implications or causes of events. For example, she does not list all the crimes with which she was charged. Furthermore, she does not do any deep dives into the emotional aspects of her story nor allow herself to be vulnerable. In the end, I was unsure how Hardin’s experiences actually impacted her. She states that she is a bad person, but she in no way convinced me she actually thinks that about herself.
These issues are further exacerbated by Hardin’s writing. The prose is a simple recounting of events that reminded me more of a regional newspaper than a book. In addition, Hardin jumps through time from chapter to chapter without specifying the length of time that passed. I hoped that this memoir would give me a firsthand account of how addiction feels and directly affects someone’s actions. But Hardin’s failure to describe emotions and motivations means readers are left with no greater understanding.
While reading, I quickly recognized that Hardin failed to address her privilege. I struggled with the fact Hardin skips over all of the blatant advantages she was given as an educated white woman, both within and outside the (in)justice system. On top of this seemingly lack of recognition for her privilege, the narrative borders on white saviorism at times.
In the end, the memoir felt like an attempt by Hardin to recast herself as the hero of her story. While she says she is a bad person, it is a laughable utterance amid pages and pages that attempt to depict her otherwise. Hardin worked hard to portray herself as a caring and compassionate mother. Although she stole from friends and family to get high, Hardin emphasizes how this actually was an altruistic attempt to ensure her children did not go hungry (despite the majority of her money going towards drugs). (Note: I do have compassion for those with drug use disorders, but Hardin failed to truly take responsibility for her actions.) Furthermore, Hardin cherry-picked details and events in a manner that bordered on manipulative. For instance, she repeatedly blamed her childhood trauma for her addiction but never actually specified what happened or how to led to her need to escape into a high. For me, it felt like another convenient scapegoat. I could prattle on, but you likely get the picture.
Overall, The Many Lives of Mama Love is a memoir that fails to make an overarching statement. The only inspiring aspect of this book is how well Hardin fell upwards after jail, retained her massive privilege, and continues to be successful. If you love stories where white women toot their own horn, have I found the book for you! Otherwise, I do not recommend this one.
August 22, 2023
I felt robbed by this book - I feel I barely got half the story. Maybe most readers know more about Lara Love Hardin than I do - I had never heard of her. I would have liked to read much more about how she grew up, what was her family like, who her influences and heros were. There were few references to her family, her childhood or her developmental or teen years. She indicated that her mother wasn't the best mother, but I wanted more details about her familial relationships - her sibilings, father, grandparents, and mother. Many of the illegal and terrible things she did are often precipitated by or connected to something in the past. Was there trauma in her home? Was she verbally or mentally abused? Were drugs and alcohol normalized in her home? I feel like someone ripped the first hundred pages out of the book and I started 2/3 of the way into the story.
Disappointing.
Disappointing.
January 18, 2024
The title pretty much sums up this book perfectly. A Memoir of Lying, Stealing, Writing, and Healing. I LOVE memoirs, and I loved this! Great on Audio and read by the Author.
Read
April 25, 2024There's a great deal of honesty and reflection in this memoir. It's not easy to listen to someone, even a stranger, recount the times they succumbed to the strongarm of addiction, especially when there are children involved. But Mama Love's story is one of triumph and ingenuity. Wish it could be the same for others as well.
August 11, 2023
Too many more 5 stars and y’all are going to stop believing me. (I’m owed this though as the first half of 2023 did not bring me too many 5 stars.)
“I ask everyone in the audience to think about the worst thing they had ever done, and then I ask them to tell it to the person to their right. The audience gasps, and that feeling behind the gasp is exactly what shame feels like.”
Elevator Pitch: Read this book if you are struggling with how to forgive; want to understand that we are all about one step away from total self-destruction whether it be from an addiction or just a really bad choice; want proof that we all live many lives; don’t yet understand you have to like you and that comes from inside as not one external source holds that power over you.
Also, read this book if you have never needed help with any of the above but want to walk in the shoes of someone that has struggled with some or all of the above.
Reading this book for another person would be you being a good person.
“I don’t think I have ever known how I am or who I am. I have always felt like an actor playing the role of me. My whole life I had pretended to be a beautiful, happy, shiny person in the hopes that would somehow make me a beautiful, happy, shiny person. I fit in everywhere because people love beautiful, happy, shiny people. But the problem with me trying to fit in everywhere is that I have never actually felt like I belonged anywhere. Or with anyone.”
“I forgive, Ray [Hinton] says, because I’m not giving the State of Alabama one more second of my life.”
“I thought what I craved was approval and praise, but it’s simpler than that, I craved acceptance. For all the different versions of me I have been, and all the many lives I have lived.”
“I realize suddenly that I am tired of pretending I am anything other than who I am. People may love me or hate me, praise me or criticize me, reward me or punish me. All I can be is who I am now, and then work hard to become the person I most want to be. I am tired of hustling for an approval even the great and powerful Oprah can’t really give me. I know what I’m looking for can only be found on the inside, and it’s going to be my job to keep finding it over and over.”
“I have lived many lives and will hopefully live many more. But for now I am just myself. I have done lots of good in my life, and I have done lots of bad. One doesn’t negate the other. And the truth is, I don’t believe the worst thing I have ever done is found in the stealing or lying or drug abuse. The worst thing I have ever done is build my identity out of the worst thing I have ever done. I’ve condemned others for not being able to see beyond my past when I was the one who couldn’t see beyond my past.”
“I ask everyone in the audience to think about the worst thing they had ever done, and then I ask them to tell it to the person to their right. The audience gasps, and that feeling behind the gasp is exactly what shame feels like.”
Elevator Pitch: Read this book if you are struggling with how to forgive; want to understand that we are all about one step away from total self-destruction whether it be from an addiction or just a really bad choice; want proof that we all live many lives; don’t yet understand you have to like you and that comes from inside as not one external source holds that power over you.
Also, read this book if you have never needed help with any of the above but want to walk in the shoes of someone that has struggled with some or all of the above.
Reading this book for another person would be you being a good person.
“I don’t think I have ever known how I am or who I am. I have always felt like an actor playing the role of me. My whole life I had pretended to be a beautiful, happy, shiny person in the hopes that would somehow make me a beautiful, happy, shiny person. I fit in everywhere because people love beautiful, happy, shiny people. But the problem with me trying to fit in everywhere is that I have never actually felt like I belonged anywhere. Or with anyone.”
“I forgive, Ray [Hinton] says, because I’m not giving the State of Alabama one more second of my life.”
“I thought what I craved was approval and praise, but it’s simpler than that, I craved acceptance. For all the different versions of me I have been, and all the many lives I have lived.”
“I realize suddenly that I am tired of pretending I am anything other than who I am. People may love me or hate me, praise me or criticize me, reward me or punish me. All I can be is who I am now, and then work hard to become the person I most want to be. I am tired of hustling for an approval even the great and powerful Oprah can’t really give me. I know what I’m looking for can only be found on the inside, and it’s going to be my job to keep finding it over and over.”
“I have lived many lives and will hopefully live many more. But for now I am just myself. I have done lots of good in my life, and I have done lots of bad. One doesn’t negate the other. And the truth is, I don’t believe the worst thing I have ever done is found in the stealing or lying or drug abuse. The worst thing I have ever done is build my identity out of the worst thing I have ever done. I’ve condemned others for not being able to see beyond my past when I was the one who couldn’t see beyond my past.”
August 12, 2023
Unlikeable narrators are fine unless you're writing a memoir...
June 7, 2024
This book was beautiful and emotional and anxiety ridden. I easily finished this book in less than three days; I just couldn't put it down. There were things I learned, things were just downright frustrating, things that made me have hope in humanity. Did she repeat some things...kind of alot (which usually drives me nuts)? Yes, she did. I guess because I was so in to the book, I didn't care. I loved her story. I do think she needs more therapy just for herself. I wished she talked more about herself growing up. I feel like there was missing information there that maybe helped me understand her more. I have throughout the years changed my opinion on how I think prisons should be run, and this kind of gave me the ammo on what we need to make better citizens in the long run. Sadly, she touches on why, and it's also because politicians can run on a broken system. I really do recommend this book. She also gave me books that I've adde to my TBR.
August 31, 2023
“Reading was my first addiction. When I tell people this today, they nod and laugh as if they understand, as if they too are part of a secret book-addict society, whose greatest crime is staying up late, a flashlight under the covers, compulsively reading page after page.”
I wasn’t sure what to expect in reading this book, I only knew it was highly recommended and that Lara was the ghost writer for Anthony Ray Hinton’s book, The Sun Does Shine, which I read years ago and loved.
This is the story of how addiction nearly took away her life, and the journey to take it back. It’s raw and real, and she shares her struggles with drugs, and a life of lying and stealing. Losing everything she holds dear. Going to jail.
‘Drugs give me what I’m looking for, what I need and crave. The truth is simple, getting high feels better than not getting high. And until that changes, no addict will change.’
I loved how she grew. In her own personal life, in her writing. In helping others, countless letters she wrote for other inmates.
And for herself.
I found myself cheering her on. Wanting and hoping for her to succeed and to overcome her addiction. To find true happiness.
She has such a valuable story to share. Don’t we all deserve a chance for redemption? I think so. We all can learn to be less judgmental and remember that we may never know a person’s whole story. We can learn to forgive, others, and ourselves. I highly recommend this book!
CW: Strong language throughout. Some descriptions of drug use.
I wasn’t sure what to expect in reading this book, I only knew it was highly recommended and that Lara was the ghost writer for Anthony Ray Hinton’s book, The Sun Does Shine, which I read years ago and loved.
This is the story of how addiction nearly took away her life, and the journey to take it back. It’s raw and real, and she shares her struggles with drugs, and a life of lying and stealing. Losing everything she holds dear. Going to jail.
‘Drugs give me what I’m looking for, what I need and crave. The truth is simple, getting high feels better than not getting high. And until that changes, no addict will change.’
I loved how she grew. In her own personal life, in her writing. In helping others, countless letters she wrote for other inmates.
And for herself.
I found myself cheering her on. Wanting and hoping for her to succeed and to overcome her addiction. To find true happiness.
She has such a valuable story to share. Don’t we all deserve a chance for redemption? I think so. We all can learn to be less judgmental and remember that we may never know a person’s whole story. We can learn to forgive, others, and ourselves. I highly recommend this book!
CW: Strong language throughout. Some descriptions of drug use.
March 29, 2024
I love memoirs and was excited to read this one. Hardin's story of overcoming addiction is compelling, but her finger-pointing at those she stole from and her constant complaining about prison life didn’t sit right with me. She states multiple times in the book that she knows exactly how much money she stole (while under the influence of hard drugs) and complains that her victims inflated this number. She also states that her house was always clean and safe for her kids while she and her husband were doing hard drugs which I find unlikely. She complains about life in prison and losing custody of her children, expressing the idea that prisoners would rehabilitate better if they were more comfortable. However, she became an addict while living in a nice house in the suburbs. She was living a comfortable life when she turned to drugs and stealing. She fails to admit that a person gives up freedom and comfort when they decide to break the law and put their kids in serious danger. Overall, it was a compelling story, but I think less complaining and more personal responsibility would have made it much better.
November 28, 2023
This is a fascinating memoir about a suburban mom that becomes addicted to drugs and steals from neighbors and strangers to support her habit. She is arrested and most of the book is her experience in jail and her extreme fear that she will lose her child while incarcerated. Readers will also learn how virtually impossible it is to follow the rules of probation which include holding down a full-time job, having a permanent address, going to AA meetings, going to child protective service meetings, enduring spontaneous, random drug tests etc. Missing one requirement, one time, and you’re back in jail. I read the book in a day and a half so it’s a page turner.
August 28, 2023
This book was different. While I'm proud of anyone who can share their story, I didn't feel a great connection when reading this. Lara went through some difficult things. Addiction is a beast and I can't even imagine being in her shoes.
The story took a nosedive for me when she details her time in G block. Lara writes as if she was the big leader of the block. She comes off ingenious, almost boastful in thinking she was controlling the rest of the women there.
Lara definitely had white privilege on her side, which allowed her to escape with such low consequences. I can't hold that against her, but I would have liked to her to acknowledge it better.
The story did pick up when Lara got out of jail and I liked that she shared the difficulty that people have reintegrating into society. The ending felt rushed and while I feel like Lara shared some of her story, I also feel like she held so much back.
The story took a nosedive for me when she details her time in G block. Lara writes as if she was the big leader of the block. She comes off ingenious, almost boastful in thinking she was controlling the rest of the women there.
Lara definitely had white privilege on her side, which allowed her to escape with such low consequences. I can't hold that against her, but I would have liked to her to acknowledge it better.
The story did pick up when Lara got out of jail and I liked that she shared the difficulty that people have reintegrating into society. The ending felt rushed and while I feel like Lara shared some of her story, I also feel like she held so much back.
September 4, 2023
I wanted to like this so much more than I did. I hate to critique someone’s memoir because I don’t mean to discredit their life experience, I just think it was poorly executed and very surface level for such deep and emotional topics.
August 7, 2023
Having just finished a very harrowing, graphic fictional account of a man who was sex trafficked and abused (among other things) as a teenager, I was expecting this book to be a lot harsher than it was. It's basically Orange Is the New Black. It's been a minute since I read OITNB but white woman incarcerated, do we really need another one? I'd rather hear from women of color who have it a hell of a lot harder than a "model" mom turned drug addict who got caught but then learned from it and turned her life around (eventually). I had the same comments about OITNB, where I was expecting a grittier story and was kind of disappointed. Oops. Sorry fellow white woman. DJ was an idiot and utter trash and you were an idiot to keep going back to him and thinking he would save you (or his mommy). The whole thing was his fault and yet you kept falling for his tricks. I'm glad she turned herself around but being/turning into this white woman savior to incarcerated women of color was just blech.
I received a paperback and e-book ARC from Simon & Schuster and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I received a paperback and e-book ARC from Simon & Schuster and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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