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Asking for a friend: I’m newly single but find it hard to orgasm with sexual partners and it feels like a performance. What can I do?
Q: I’m newly single and almost 30, and while I have enjoyed dating since becoming single, I have had some issues with intimacy. I found that while I am on my own, things run smoothly when I masturbate. The issue is, with new people I have been seeing, I haven’t managed to orgasm with them, and I feel very self conscious about this. The guys have been good at asking what I like but the magic just isn’t happening. I am finding it hard to shake off the feeling that this is a performance, and I am getting frustrated that I can’t seem to get past this block and enjoy my dating experiences fully. I feel like I want the process to speed up as I feel very conscious about the time it takes trying to make me orgasm. I worry about my partners feeling offended that I haven’t had an orgasm, and that they think I haven’t had a good time. I do enjoy it, but just wish an orgasm was easier to experience, the same way it’s easier when I am alone. Where do I go from here?