Ex-England hooker Dylan Hartey on the challenges of being an international captain

OPINION: Being captain of England was the most mentally taxing, all-consuming thing I have done. But if I had turned up with a lazy attitude, I would not have survived that first Six Nations campaign under Eddie Jones.

Our 18 wins in a row, between 2016 and 2017, represented sustained success. That period opened my eyes to the level of commitment required. Ninety per cent of the role is unseen by the public and it is not for everyone.

I am most proud of surviving and thriving in that environment. Eddie unlocked potential in me as a captain and taught me to be "on" permanently, because that was what the role entailed at the time.

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I hardly thought about myself. I constantly thought about the role, which was good because it stayed at the front of my mind, and the collective. When I walked into the team room at Pennyhill Park, for example, I would wonder about the mood and energy of the guys: Is it a bit untidy in here? Are bad habits setting in? Are guys happy?

I was always trying to read things, and that transferred to the gym, to meetings, to the changing sheds, training sessions and games. The importance of your individual performance scratches away at you, but you are still thinking about the body language of team-mates, the noise of a session and the quality of the basic skills, because you are the one driving standards. If you are not happy with something, you have to call it out before a coach intervenes. You are permanently on edge.

During the warm-up before training I would have to think through what message I needed to give to the players and what tone I would use: Do I need to be light-hearted? Do I need to be firm? What was unacceptable last time we trained? What is our key focus for the session? What do we want to take away afterwards?

I was not smart enough to pull a rabbit out of my arse, so I had to prepare. After the session, the same questions go through your head: What do I want the players to be thinking as they leave training? Did we perform as we aimed to? If we did, why was that? If we fell short, why was that?

I would always relay another message for players to take away. I had to be considered because I was under the microscope. Sports psychologists and support coaches were circling the huddles listening to my every word. Eddie was, too.

Routine

On a Monday in camp, every department is feeding into you, telling you what the squad are doing, where and for how long.

As captain, you have press commitments. You are being updated about visitors into camp and charitable initiatives. There is information constantly coming at you, from dinner menus to hotel options, travel preferences, commercial appearances, kit selections, scheduling and all sorts of meetings - analysis meetings, leaders' meetings, coaches' meetings, cultural meetings. And, as captain, it all comes through you.

Every day started by setting the scene with Eddie, talking about what went well the previous day. You listen to his direction, add your bit and set out to execute it while trying to eat well, train well and recover well yourself. Delegation comes in when you trust other senior players to look after one area of the game and lead meetings on it.

Closer to match day, you have a captain's run at the ground. Even on the bus journey I would be going over my notes on the pre-training meeting and post-training huddle. I often wondered what it might be like to be a player with no other responsibilities.

I also had to meet the referee the day before the game. After the captain's run on a Friday, other players could soak up the surroundings of the stadium, take their time in the showers and maybe plan an afternoon coffee. They could enjoy the excitement of the changing room.

By contrast, I would have the team manager tell me that I had three minutes for an ice bath and 30 seconds for a hot shower. Then I would have to be ready to take a taxi with Eddie to meet the referee. My notebook would be out and we would chat about what we wanted out of the conversation.

Performance

Apart from line-out throwing, my playing role was not overly technical. There were three strands to it: set-piece excellence, making tackles and hitting rucks. There is responsibility in that, but it still felt relatively simple and stripped back.

That freed me to think about captaincy and the game within the game of how the referee is seeing our team and the best way in which to approach him. Sidling up next to them as we were running off for half-time was always a good one. Then the way to open the chat would be: "Is there anything you would like the boys to work on for the second half?"

Managing referees

I felt I had a good relationship with referees as England captain. The Wayne Barnes incident in the 2013 Premiership final made me change things. I went from confrontational to soft while talking to them.

"Ruck-gate", against Italy in 2017, was confusing because, although they got it right a few times, Romain Poite allowed them to form rucks and then leave the same rucks. We got an acknowledgement from World Rugby to that effect.

Generally, we tried to remove the referee from games with the brilliance of our basics – not letting him ping us because we were so clean, always an extra yard onside. We would always be chirping, reminding him of that. But I wanted zero backchat.

I made sure not to complain at every decision against us. Little things such as gestures with your hands – holding them up in apology – and tone of voice can help. Another example would be keeping your hands on your knees and looking up at them rather than puffing your chest out and peering over them.

After losing close games in Europe for Northampton, I would go into the referee's changing room and try to connect with them in the hope of building a relationship in case they refereed an England match down the line. In that Friday meeting before tests, the tone was always upbeat. You would talk about family, this and that. It was only small talk, but it helped. I would like to think that my record in an England shirt underlines that.