This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: August 14, 2020
August 7
Legit thougt this was batman twerking pic.twitter.com/eMUbwguLS7
— jorge (@NoOneCorrectMe) August 7, 2020
Tf is this 😭😭 pic.twitter.com/3eCuY6Tude
— DMarcus Hammond (@dmarcushammond_) August 7, 2020
I still think about this pic.twitter.com/Yk7Zo2dbqn
— Tj🦍 (@Mr_Santiagos) August 7, 2020
And I'll do it again https://t.co/d0780eGC4a
— Owl From Louisiana 🦉 (@OwlLouisiana) August 8, 2020
August 8
The library is charging me late fees for a book. I can't return the book because the library has closed early due to covid. The library has also blocked the self-service drop-off due to covid. The book is Catch-22.
— Nick Douglas (@toomuchnick) August 8, 2020
being notified when someone visits your profile on LinkedIn is the most chaotic feature of any social media
— mattfred (@itsmattfred) August 8, 2020
18-20 is arguably the same age 3 years in a row
— Floyd (@dathantennyson) August 8, 2020
I ain't say that shit https://t.co/OLVjHhvaBY
— Man minding his business (@cam__roy) August 9, 2020
My girlfriend (Instagram user) and me (twitter user). pic.twitter.com/96z6o9aaIT
— New and Improved Dave McNamee (@DaveMcNamee3000) August 9, 2020
when you click on someone's live and you're the only one watching https://t.co/D6k1eoqGjR
— Soul Food 🦋 (@SoleilNichole) August 9, 2020
August 9
real estate agent: this house has 1 bedroom, 50 hallways, and it's haunted.
— cam (@climaxximus) August 9, 2020
pacman: sold
thinking about how robert pattinson scared off his own stalker by just being himself again pic.twitter.com/hBB2xm2Kc7
— Sarah McGonagall (@gothspiderbitch) August 10, 2020
MARCH: Teachers are going above and beyond.
— Nicholas Ferroni (@NicholasFerroni) August 9, 2020
APRIL: Teachers are heroes and deserve our support.
MAY: Teachers should be millionaires.
JUNE: We need to cut school budgets.
JULY: Teachers need to go back to school.
AUGUST: Teachers are selfish and don't care.
Absolutely a classic pic.twitter.com/xwH8ON2G27
— peter @ carrot zone (@ratdad666) August 10, 2020
This part.... pic.twitter.com/63MyNj9qMC
— Leslie Jones 🦋 (@Lesdoggg) August 9, 2020
August 10
Can't get enough of the Phil Collins Block or Charge... pic.twitter.com/8e49mRGZjg
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) August 11, 2020
Hey guys!!! I wanted to let you know that I'm deleting my mental health to focus more on social media. Hope you will all support me!
— shan 🐞🧚🏻♀️ (@shan4vp) August 11, 2020
Lmfaoooooo what yal gon do? Send em home?💀💀💀 https://t.co/5bMMK4NDbx
— Mercoochieo (@yikeseth_) August 11, 2020
serious question: what do americans think petitions do lol https://t.co/rBjeCaGHAa
— disposable! irredeemable! (@untitledfag) August 11, 2020
THIS. IS. PERFECT. pic.twitter.com/KFGgOhS1KN
— TODD SPENCE (@Todd_Spence) August 11, 2020
Nothing can prepare you for the journey you're about to take through this video.pic.twitter.com/Ljo5YIqtFf
— Leon Langford (@MasonLLL) August 11, 2020
August 11
me: my cat's stuck in a tree!
— hype (@TheHyyyype) August 11, 2020
fire department: sorry sir, but right now we're only responding to fires
me: ok gimme a sec
fetty wap is short for fettuccine wet ass pussy
— joe denise hate account (@midlifetimmy) August 11, 2020
everyone: defund the police
— james (@heybuddy_comic) August 11, 2020
biden: here's a cop vp
August 12
cop: are u high
— cory (@harvardgraduat) August 12, 2020
me: hello, am i what
cop: high
me: hello
i've always hated the idea of a "man cave" because what the fuck do men need a break from
— i praydalor my sodakeep (@AlmondTiddies) August 12, 2020
I don't typically post dms but I was really proud of this one. pic.twitter.com/oDgLXeI8ho
— Fruity Nessa 🍍 (@FruityNesa) August 12, 2020
┏┓
— Pallavi (@PallaviGunalan) August 12, 2020
┃┃╱╲ in this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲
▔▏┗┛▕▔
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
there's some whores
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
Love when "genius businesses" fall to shit when you point out the genius part was just not paying employees https://t.co/gPUq4zBZlL
— eli yudin (@eliyudin) August 12, 2020
August 13
how :) the fuck :) is this not enough :) to remove him :) from office :) every day :) is a new nightmare :) with no way :) to wake up :) https://t.co/eow9687GxL
— danielle weisberg (@danielleweisber) August 13, 2020
If I ever get murdered, I want two white women with a podcast to solve it in their free time
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) August 13, 2020
k-pop stans we need you to mobilize for the USPS
— Erin Sullivan (@sullivem) August 13, 2020