This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: July 17, 2020

Let's beat what now, a dummy orders cheese-less chow, an Alexa reminder about a plow, what schools do and don't allow, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

July 10

Hi dipshit, I'm a pediatric ER doctor who has treated children who have #COVID__19 https://t.co/wNUQpQHbRx

— Lydia Holm MD (@MommyFourBoys) July 11, 2020

127 hours but when he finally cuts his arm it's a cake

— 𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣 (@spinubzilla) July 11, 2020

My new favourite thing is this guy's shutter shaming hobby pic.twitter.com/BtQtWYjK27

— Connor (@Yogalnstructor) July 11, 2020

July 11
 

Disney World just reopened and we already lost Goofy. pic.twitter.com/CggOsFli93

— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) July 11, 2020

90% of the coronavirus debate now is about trying to find ways around the fact that the obvious solution is to pay people to stay home until there's a vaccine.

— Brandon Friedman (@BFriedmanDC) July 11, 2020

This feels illegal pic.twitter.com/CUab7jtbBR

— Ishaan (@ReallyIshaan) July 12, 2020

A friendly reminder that THIS is a TV spot that was edited and shown pic.twitter.com/AmzeedSEor

— Haydn (@Haydn_E99) July 11, 2020

these tiktokers may just save us from this asshole pic.twitter.com/ADKoq59ReV

— Adam Parkhomenko (@AdamParkhomenko) July 12, 2020

July 12

Wizard of Oz is actually about Twitter with a strawman, bot and coward following a lady around everywhere.

— Alex Leo (@AlexMLeo) July 12, 2020

why I won't wear a mask pic.twitter.com/CyiKIgWuwF

— kylie brakeman (@deadeyebrakeman) July 12, 2020

Me eating my best friends when I discover they're all made of cake. pic.twitter.com/9d6Rlsrvks

— ScubaCheeze⍟⃝ (@scubacheeze) July 12, 2020

July 13

If there's a more consistent red flag than a man who refers to women as "females" I do not know it

— mattie kahn (@mattiekahn) July 14, 2020

So puzzled that schools can't regulate if students wear a mask but can measure shirt hems, adjudicate whether a top is sleeveless, and judge what is acceptable hair color.

— Lisa Janicke Hinchliffe (@lisalibrarian) July 14, 2020

July 14

Just delivered Grubhub to this customer, and now I see why Coronavirus is kicking our ass pic.twitter.com/sPZTNIyteG

— decent pigeon (@decentbirthday) July 14, 2020

Lmao they're having the school board meeting over zoom because it isn't safe to meet in person TO DISCUSS HOW THEYRE GONNA SEND THOUSANDS OF KIDS BACK TO SCHOOL

— Herbo (@ManLikeGinola) July 14, 2020

My son came and got me, saying there was a serious leak under the kitchen sink. pic.twitter.com/OEqnR1McJ6

— Tenessa Gemelke (@gemelket) July 14, 2020

the one thing that was supposed to be a cake im goin insane https://t.co/KHs8TaTmTN

— nev🪐 (@PettygroveNevin) July 14, 2020

July 15

If you don't want to own an absolutely horrifying set of bowls, avoid breaking the "for ice cream" one. pic.twitter.com/k2gig2ZuLC

— Blake Wexler (@BlakeWexler) July 15, 2020

Why is dental and vision insurance separate from regular health insurance? Are my teeth and eyes not a part of my body????

— 🍒 (@ATheGreat__) July 15, 2020

another day of my dad forgetting our amazon accounts are linked ... pic.twitter.com/LulrbXR8hK

— Gerri 🌙 (@cherhorowiz) July 16, 2020

July 16

relationship goals pic.twitter.com/VBuJgFdcMu

— all chris's are beautiful (@ChrisCaesar) July 16, 2020

I'm fucking howling pic.twitter.com/YmN1ms6YFt

— the thicc husband & father (@lukeisamazing) July 16, 2020

Let's what now pic.twitter.com/8MsGIG1Sl8

— Orville Shrek (@amcnal) July 16, 2020