For close to two weeks, some people have been very angry at Elmo.
Yes, you read that correctly. The furry red monster on Sesame Street has drawn ire after a joint production with CNN in which he said he wanted to end racism. It’s all very 2020.
On Tuesday, it was popular conservative commentator Dave Rubin complaining on Twitter that “no kid at the age they’re into Elmo needs to be talking about racism,” calling it child abuse. Before him, Fox News host Tucker Carlson blasted a clip of Elmo’s conversation around race by saying, “Got that, Bobby? America is a very bad place and it’s your fault, so no matter what happens, no matter what they do to you when you grow up, you have no right to complain.”
Carlson’s argument is full of his typical hyperbole meant to fire you up, but it’s worked on people convinced even acknowledging racism to children is “stealing their innocence.”
But wanting our children to avoid real-world problems like racism and its effects on society is the kind of willful ignorance that has worsened the problems this country is currently facing. Every parent wants to protect their child but shielding them from the truth right now isn’t the answer. The controversy around Elmo wanting to learn more about the protests reminded me of a recent conversation with Auburn athletic director Allen Greene.
We talked about everything happening in the world, from coronavirus to the ongoing protests following George Floyd’s murder, and the various ways they relate back to college athletics. At some point, our talk shifted to discussing our children. I told Greene, a father of three, that I had a 6-year old son. Stripping away our job titles and why we were talking, Greene offered up honest, poignant advice from one father to another.
“I have to explain what’s going on to my kids,” Greene said. “I’ve had to explain to them prior to (now) just because they’re black, the world sees them differently at age 6 and younger. I’d encourage you as a father, your son isn’t too young to comprehend. He might not get the big picture but helping him understand that all people are humans first will help us make progress so that when our kids have kids and we’re grandparents, hopefully, our grandkids have a little better life than we’ve had.”
It’s heartbreaking imagining having to sit down my sweet, precocious 6-year-old and tell him the world viewed him differently not because of anything he did but because of the color of his skin. But that’s the reality for Greene and all of the other parents of black children across the country. In recent weeks, there have been countless testimonies of black parents talking to their young children about how to behave around police officers and how to handle other potentially difficult scenarios.
That I haven’t had to have that conversation with my son is as good an example of white privilege I can think of. I know that phrase is triggering for many folks. No one wants to believe they had an unfair advantage, especially those who had their own difficult upbringings devoid of certain socioeconomic benefits. But there are certain conversations we don’t even have to think about having, and that in itself is a privilege.
We need to, though. Like Greene said, it isn’t too early to start having those talks. We need to build a strong foundation of understanding for our children.
No one is saying you must show your toddler “Just Mercy” to understand what is going on now. The irony of the Elmo controversy is starting the conversation with characters they already know and understand is one of the easiest ways to broach the topic. You can simplify the big-picture topics to a level that makes sense, but you may find yourself surprised just how much our children can grasp. We’ve talked to our 6-year-old extensively about the coronavirus and why we needed to stay home for months, and he seems to understand it better than plenty of cable news commentators I see these days. Don’t underestimate the kind hearts and minds of our children to listen to and understand complex topics.
Teaching our children at a young age to treat everyone fairly, regardless of race or background, is paramount. But we also have to acknowledge that not everyone does that, that it has created problems for certain groups of people and that we must do more to make everyone feel welcome. Explain why people are protesting. Show them the clip of Louie explaining to young Elmo the difference between Sesame Street and what’s happening elsewhere in the world.
“Across the country people of color, especially in the black community, are being treated unfairly of how they look, their culture, race and who they are,” the fictional character said to his son. “What we are seeing is people saying enough is enough. They want to end racism.”
A 2014 study in Psychological Science showed that children started showing preference for their own groups at 6 years old and hatred for other groups at 8 years old. The study’s researchers wrote “children, and in particular boys, should be taught as early as preschool age that intragroup cooperation and loyalty are valuable and beneficial for humanity.” Elika Sadeghi, one of my favorite follows on Twitter, said Tuesday she was only 7 years old the first time someone said something racist to her. Even waiting until second grade to have those talks with your children could be too late.
It might feel uncomfortable. The perfect words might not come to you. Your child might be more interested in watching “Puppy Dog Pals” than listening to you explain the world isn’t always fair. Seize the moment, though. Explain to them just how unprecedented the last three months have been and what we can learn from the good and bad.
“You can be enlightened, you can learn, you can acquire knowledge,” Greene told me. “As long as people are willing to learn, we’ve got a shot.”
For our children, we need to be willing to teach, too.
John Talty is the sports editor for Alabama Media Group. You can follow him on Twitter @JTalty.