The Worst Lines of Jay Rayner’s Le Cinq Review, With Cats

UK critic Jay Rayner recently filed a review that ranks as one of the most hilarious takedowns of his career — and he’s dropped more than a few slams in his day.

The Guardian critic decided to visit Le Cinq at the Four Seasons Hôtel George V in Paris to do research for a potential “observational piece” about high-end dining. Rayner explains that he expected to have “moments of joy and bliss, of the sort only stupid amounts of cash can buy,“ at this restaurant, which holds three Michelin stars. But instead, the critic was subjected to a parade of expensive food that was so perplexing that he felt compelled to share his findings as a full review. Rayner writes: “In terms of value for money and expectation Le Cinq supplied by far the worst restaurant experience I have endured in my 18 years in this job.“

The whole, scathing critique is absolutely worth a read. But to soften the blow for Le Cinq fans, here are Rayner’s worst lines, presented by adorable kittens:

Getty/Anadolu Agency

Getty/ Daniel Leal-Olivas

Getty/Jewel Samad

Getty/Jewel Samad

Getty/ Gary Hershorn

Getty/ Anadolu Agency

Getty/Gary Hershorn

Getty/ Barcroft Media

Getty/NurPhoto

Getty/NurPhoto

Getty/Wang He

Getty/Anthony Wallace

Getty/Anadolu Agency

• Le Cinq, Paris: restaurant review [Guardian]
• All Pop Culture Coverage [E]