Milton Jones: ‘I’ve never had a funny hairstyle’

The standup, writer and Mock the Week regular on the things that make him laugh the most
Milton Jones at Latitude Festival 2019
Ha ha hair… Milton Jones at Latitude festival 2019. Photograph: Keith Mayhew/Shutterstock

The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen …

Not the Nine O’Clock News, specifically Gerald the gorilla.

The funniest book I’ve ever read …

The Bluffer’s Guide to Parachuting.

The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen …

Top Cat. Everything he said was greeted with howls of laughter. I found out about canned laughter years later.

The funniest person I know …

My grandfather. I have unlimited jokes about my many grandfathers. In real life, one was a fruit seller and the other a missionary. Maybe I’m a sort of cross between the two.

The funniest heckle I’ve ever had …

“These are just words!”

The funniest dream I’ve ever had …

Becoming prime minister and giving the police special powers like flying and turning into insects.

The funniest film I’ve ever seen …

The legend of a man who lived in a loincloth on top of a Christmas cake – Tarzipan!

The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten …

Homemade black forest gateau: soil, stones, bits of squirrel.

The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had …

I’ve never had a funny hairstyle.

The funniest number …

8,000. Four friends on a night out – only one of them wearing a belt.

The funniest joke I’ve ever heard …

Nothing beats someone falling over.

Milton Jones plays Assembly Hall: Main Hall, Edinburgh, Saturday 3 to 18 August. Milton: Impossible will be touring the UK from 10 Oct 2019 to 26 Apr 2020