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6 days ago
Feature: Who taxis the taximen?
When I'm in the back of a taxi I'm most likely to be hoping that neither I or the driver end up coming off as an awful person. I am extremely unlikely to think of the driver as "a priest, a confident, a friend". But for all I know, you, the person reading this right now, are a big weirdo and pour your heart out…
2 weeks ago
Feature: Spandau Ballet b-side
This is a bit of a cheat because I didn’t really play this one. For a period until I was about 12 the only PC in the house was in my big brother’s room, which meant I was not allowed to play it or go in there unless he was in a good mood. On those occasions, me and my younger brother would each carry…
Feature: Jump around! (You can't.)
Premature Evaluation – SlipSlop: World’s Hardest Platformer Game
When I was little, I used to eat cubes of jelly. As in, pre-diluted. You know how Hartley’s jelly came in oblong packets, and your mum would open it and out flopped the cubes of jelly, like a chocolate bar gone wrong or a future dystopian food supplement. I would sneak one of the cubes away and gnaw on it behind a sofa cushion, like…
3 weeks ago
Feature: I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky
The character Britta from the TV show Community once, when challenged, described an analogy as “like a thought with another thought’s hat on”, which is pretty good. So, that being the case, Sea Of Solitude is like a whole bunch of thoughts wearing other thoughts’ hats. The thoughts all did a wacky hat swap at the office for Comic Relief, and now none of the…
Feature: Motorbikes and mushrooms at the end of the world
I don’t want to become known for always talking about a thing (like how we all gently rib Matt about being a philsophy-toucher in a way that doesn’t amount to workplace bullying whatsoever). This is why I’ve tried to stop yelling at office co-workers about Chernobyl. I don’t want to be Appropriative Post-Soviet girl, who is probably the rubbishest of the X-Men characters. So my…
Feature: Get out of my dreams and into my car
Hitchhiker has left me in a small pickle. Alec already reviewed it over a year ago, when the first drive came out as a Humble Original. That drive is the bit I’ve played too. But I did really enjoy playing it, and got a small glimpse of where the game is going, and I’ve found I want to remind everyone it exists as a result.…
Feature: Grubby cool
Beckett is weeeeeeird. It's a story-driven sort of adventure, except what it really is, is a scuttling little cockroach, and the cockroach smokes 40 Lambert & Butler a day and hasn't washed in a week. And has depression, probably.
4 weeks ago
Feature: Pods are casted
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Feature: Eat yer heart out, Fran Healy
There are many types of rain. As we speak, the south of England is blessing us by alternating sunshine with heavy showers that are refusing to turn into a storm. Instead of clearing the air, the rain is only making it more humid. In 1920s Oakmont, the fictional town in new Lovecraftian detect ‘em up The Sinking City, the flavour of the day is constant…
Feature: Fix it fix it fix it fix it
Broken Age was Tim Schafer’s triumphant (?) return to point and click adventure games. It was crowdfunded on Kickstarter, and was the first game where the campaign got sort of wildly out of hand, in that they asked for like $400k and ended up with over $3 million. Developers everywhere starting looking at crowdfunding and rubbing their chins with suspicious intent, and here we are…
1 month ago
Feature: Lonely rivers flow
You probably remember the reveal of Sea Of Solitude at E3 in 2018 because of CEO Cornelia Geppert’s excitement and sincerity when presenting the game. Geppert is self-effacing about it, and told me it was surprising to her that people responded that way. “The actual developers of course are always passionate about their project!” she said. “I think it's normal when you do your project…
Feature: Sponsored by Omaha steak
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Feature: I don't have a clever strap, it's just very good
Truth be told, this is probably best played on a touch screen, because it feels like it’s meant to be interactive in that slightly more intimate way. But whatever you play it on, you should have a go at Gorogoa.
Feature: She's got all her own teeth
The Bloodlines liker has, as they say, logged on. Paradox and Hardsuit labs have released a new gameplay trailer for Bloodlines 2. Excellent. It’s a smaller mouthful than the taste I had at GDC last year, but it’s a slightly different one. An amuse-bouche, we might say. Made of blood pudding, or something else all vampire-y. Brendy saw an extended demo, and has thoughts about…
Feature: It's like a pen knife, but a laser
The mundane use of a lightsaber in Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order is the best thing about E3 so far
Listen, I’ll level with you, I am struggling this year. My hype train cannot currently build up steam. If I were to place myself on Matt and Brendan’s Cheerer-to-Jeerer E3 corporate Kinsey scale of awfulness, I am currently at a “1”: predominantly jeer, only incidentally cheer. Think the “What a piece of work is man?” monologue from Hamlet, but if it were about games instead…
Feature: It's me, the E3 downer.
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2 months ago
Feature: Oakmont, so good they named it once
How The Sinking City is built to make you notice your journey
I sometimes announce, to rooms at large, that I wished Assassin’s Creed Odyssey wouldn’t tell me what to do as much, and let me just explore. Imagine my shock, therefore, at the reveal of The Sinking City, a Lovecraftian detective game releasing just the other side of E3, promising “zero hand holding”. No objective markers on the map, and no trails on the street to…
Feature: All good things
So this, today, is the last day of the Moon Diary. Tomorrow I shall wake up and not have to write about Marty Burnham. I was relieved before I played, and now I am just quite sad.
Feature: You talkin' to me?
When your name is Alice you either get people singing that song at you, you know, that song (none of us think it is funny please don’t do it), or cracks about Alice In Wonderland. I was either going to have to play all this American McGee nonsense or insist that I would never ever play it ever. In fact, I played Alice: Madness Returns…
Feature: The end is nigh
Something happened today! I accidentally crashed the meteor into the moon! I didn't mean to, I just steered it down instead of up, and then I realised it was getting bigger, and it hit the moon! When I looked at the chart it showed a drop. What does it mean?
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