[Rod has just told Jerry he will keep him as his agent]
Jerry Maguire: That's, that's great. I'm very... happy.
Rod Tidwell: Are you listenin'?
Jerry Maguire: Yes!
Rod Tidwell: That's what I'm gonna do for you: God bless you, Jerry. But this is what you gonna do for me. You listenin', Jerry?
Jerry Maguire: Yeah, what, what, what can I do for you, Rod? You just tell me what can I do for you?
Rod Tidwell: It's a very personal, a very important thing. Hell, it's a family motto. Are you ready, Jerry?
Jerry Maguire: I'm ready.
Rod Tidwell: I wanna make sure you're ready, brother. Here it is: Show me the money. Oh-ho-ho! SHOW! ME! THE! MONEY! A-ha-ha! Jerry, doesn't it make you feel good just to say that! Say it with me one time, Jerry.
Jerry Maguire: Show you the money.
Rod Tidwell: Oh, no, no. You can do better than that, Jerry! I want you to say it with you, with meaning, brother! Hey, I got Bob Sugar on the other line; I bet you he can say it!
Jerry Maguire: Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. Show you the money.
Rod Tidwell: No! Not show you! Show me the money!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Yeah! Louder!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Yes, but, brother, you got to yell that shit!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: I need to feel you, Jerry!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Jerry, you got to yell!
Jerry Maguire: [screaming] Show me the money! Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Do you love this black man!
Jerry Maguire: I love the black man! Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: I love black people.
Jerry Maguire: I love black people!
Rod Tidwell: Who's your motherfucker, Jerry?
Jerry Maguire: You're my motherfucker!
Rod Tidwell: Whatcha gonna do, Jerry?
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Unh! Congratulations, you're still my agent.
Jerry Maguire: [babbling and struggling] I love you. You... you complete me. And I just...
Dorothy: Shut up,
[pause]
Dorothy: just shut up.
[Pause]
Dorothy: You had me at "hello". You had me at "hello".
Dorothy: I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is.
Sign in Locker Room: Success consists of simply getting up one more time than you fall.
Jerry Maguire: The fuckin zoo is closed, Ray.
Ray: You said fuck.
Jerry Maguire: Uh... yeah... I...
Ray: Don't worry. I won't tell.
Jerry Maguire: [to Rod] I am out here for you. You don't know what it's like to be ME out here for YOU. It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about, ok?
Ray: [while in the backseat of their car] Did you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that Troy Aikman, in only six years, has passed for 16,303 yards?
Ray: D'you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that the career record for hits is 4,256 by Pete Rose who is NOT in the Hall of Fame?
Ray: D'you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?
Jerry Maguire: I... I can't compete with that!
Rod Tidwell: [while leaving the stadium after a game] Maybe you don't. Because it's not just the money I deserve. It's not just the "coin." It's the... - "the kwan".
Jerry Maguire: That's your word?
Rod Tidwell: Yeah, man, it means love, respect, community... and the dollars too. The package. The kwan.
Jerry Maguire: But how did you get "kwan?"
Rod Tidwell: I got there from "coin," dude. Coin, coin... kwaaaan.
Jerry Maguire: [pleading to Rod] Help me... help you. Help me, help you.
[after Tidwell makes a good play on TV with his family watching]
Tyson Tidwell: Yeah! That's my mo-fo!
Marcee Tidwell: [gasps]
Tyson Tidwell: [suddenly guilty] Oops.
Marcee Tidwell: Uh-uh. Come here.
Tyson Tidwell: [does, a bit scared]
Marcee Tidwell: How about you be the first man in the family to stop using that phrase, and then maybe we'll let you live.
Jerry Maguire: What do you want from me? My soul?
Dorothy: Why not? I deserve that much.
Jerry Maguire: [after having been fired] But if anybody else wants to come with me, this moment will be the ground floor of something real and fun and inspiring and true in this godforsaken business and we will do it together! Who's coming with me besides... "Flipper" here?
[last lines]
Dicky Fox: Hey, I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success.
Jerry Maguire: [over the phone] I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game *featuring you*, while singing your own song in a new commercial, *starring you*, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not *sleep* until that happens. I'll give you fifteen minutes to call me back.
Rod Tidwell: I feel for you, man. But a real man wouldn't shoplift the pootie from a single mom.
Jerry Maguire: I didn't shoplift the pootie.
[Rod gives him a long Look]
Jerry Maguire: All right. I shoplifted the pootie.
Dicky Fox: The key to this business is personal relationships.
Jerry Maguire: [while on a plane] What are you doing with me, Rod?
Rod Tidwell: Why?
Jerry Maguire: I'm finished, I'm fucked. Twenty-four hours ago, man, I was hot! Now... I'm a cautionary tale. You see this jacket I'm wearing, you like it? Because I don't really need it. Because I'm cloaked in failure! I lost the number one draft picked the night before the draft! Why? Let's recap: Because a hockey player's kid made me feel like a superficial jerk. I ate two slices of bad pizza, went to bed and grew a conscience!
Rod Tidwell: Well, boo-fucking-hoo
Jerry Maguire: Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment?
Dorothy: I just want to be inspired.
Jerry Maguire: This is going to change everything.
Dorothy: Promise?
Marcee Tidwell: [shouting at Jerry in his office] What do you stand for?
Dorothy: How about a little piece of integrity in this world that is so full of greed and a lack of honorability that I don't know what to tell my son! Except, "Here. Have a look at a guy who isn't yelling 'Show me the money." Did you know he's broke? He is broke and working for you for free! Broke. Broke, broke, broke. I'm sorry I'm just not as good at the insults as she is.
Marcee Tidwell: No, that was pretty good.
Rod Tidwell: [over the phone] I am a valuable commodity! I go across the middle! I see a dude coming at me, trying to kill me, I tell myself "Get killed. Catch the ball!' BOO YA! Touchdown! I make miracles happen!
Jerry Maguire: Rod...
Rod Tidwell: I'm from Arizona, Jerry! I broke Arizona records! I went to Arizona State! I'm a Sun Devil, man!
Jerry Maguire: And now you want Arizona dollars?
Rod Tidwell: Exaaaacctly!
Jerry Maguire: [after having been fired] Don't worry, I'm not gonna do what you all think I'm gonna do, which is, you know, FLIP OUT!
Sign in Locker Room: A positive anything is better than a negative nothing.
Sign in Locker Room: Dig the well before you are thirsty.
Jerry Maguire: [over the phone] I don't like black people? I am Mister black people.
Rod Tidwell: [while on a plane] Anyone else would have left you by now, but I'm sticking with you. And if I have to ride your ass like Zorro, you're gonna show me the money.
Jerry Maguire: [to Matt Cushman] I'm still sort of moved by your "My word is stronger than oak" thing.
Laurel: [after Marrying her sister without considering it thoroughly] You fuck this up, I'll kill you!
Jerry Maguire: I'm glad we had this talk.
Rod Tidwell: You are hanging on by a very thin thread and I dig that about you!
Jesus of CopyMat: [to Jerry] That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!
Dorothy: Maybe love shouldn't be such hard work.
Jerry Maguire: [to Avery] Jump in my nightmare, the water's warm!
Jerry Maguire: [Jerry Maguire is lying in bed one morning when suddenly the radio comes on and wakes him up with a jolt after having slept with Dorothy the night before]
[flash to Dickey Fox in his office]
Dicky Fox: I love the mornings! I clap my hands every morning and say, 'This is gonna be a great day!'
[flash back to Jerry Maguire who accidentally steps on a toy]
Jerry Maguire: [mutters] I don't believe this. How'd I get myself into this?
Jerry Maguire: [to Dorothy] We live in a cynical world. A cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You... complete me.
Laurel: [to Dorothy] Don't cry at the beginning of a date. Cry at the end, like I do.
Dorothy: On the surface, everything seems fine. I've got this great guy. And he loves my kid. And he sure does like me a lot. And I can't live like that. It's not the way I'm built.
Rod Tidwell: [while on a plane] I got a shelf life of ten years, tops. My next contract's gotta bring me the dollars that'll last me and mine a long time. Shit, I'm out of this sport in 5 years. What's my family gonna live on? Huh?
Marcee Tidwell: [upon seeing the fax sent to Jerry's office] 1.5 million? Man, we owe more than that!
Jerry Maguire: [while leaving the stadium after a game] How's your head?
Rod Tidwell: Bubblicious.
Avery Bishop: [to Jerry] There is a sensitivity thing that some people have. I don't have it. I don't cry at movies, I don't gush over babies, I don't buy Christmas presents 5 months early, and I DON'T tell the guy who just ruined both our lives, "Oh, poor baby." But I do love you.
Avery Bishop: There is no real loyalty, and the first person who taught me that was you.
Jerry Maguire: I figure I was trying to sleep with you at the time.
Avery Bishop: Well, it worked.
Dorothy: [referring to Jerry] He's coming over.
Laurel: Tonight?
Dorothy: He just lost his best client. I invited the guy over.
Laurel: Dorothy, this is not a guy. It's a syndrome. Early mid-life. Hanging on to the bottom rung. "Dear God, don't let me be alone or I call my newly-long-suffering-assistant-without-medical for company settlement." If now all you still want is him to come over, I'm not saying anything.
Dorothy: Honey, he's engaged.
Jerry Maguire: [to Dorothy] I won't let you get rid of me.
Jerry Maguire: [Looking over an inadequate contract sent by fax to his office]
Jerry Maguire: I'll go back to them.
Marcee Tidwell: And say what? "Please remove your dick from my ass"?
Marcee Tidwell: I'm sorry, I'm just a little pregnant here.
Dorothy: I was inspired, and I'm an accountant.
Matt Cushman: [to Jerry] What you do have is my whole word, and it's stronger than oak.
[shakes Jerry's hand]
Jerry Maguire: [Narrating] I hated myself... no, I hated my place in the world.
Rod Tidwell: [over the phone] Jerry Maguire... How'm I doing? I'm sweating, dude! I'm sweatin' my contract! I'm sweating Bob Sugar calling me, telling me I'm missing the big endorsements by being with you! THAT'S how I'm doing - I'm sweating, dude!
[Jerry and Dorothy are in the elevator and a hearing impaired couple gets on. The man of the couple starts talking with his hands, then they get off]
Jerry Maguire: I wonder what he just said.
Dorothy: My favorite aunt is hearing impaired. He just said "You complete me".
Jerry Maguire: I started talking to Dennis Wilburn about your re-negotiation this morning.
Rod Tidwell: [after stepping out of the shower] Talking. Jerry Rice, Andre Reed, Chris Carter... I smell all these fools. They are making the big sweet dollars. They are making the... quan, and you are talking.
Rod Tidwell: [to Jerry] You tell me to eat lima beans, I'll eat lima beans
Rod Tidwell: [to Jerry] Quit using that word. "Quan", that's my word!
Rod Tidwell: [to Jerry] You bet on me like I bet on you.
[narrating first lines]
Jerry Maguire: So this is the world, and there are almost six billion people on it. When I was a kid, there were three. It's hard to keep up.
Jerry Maguire: Rod, think about back when you were a little kid. It wasn't about the money, was it? Was it?
[Questionably]
Jerry Maguire: Was it?
Rod Tidwell: [to Jerry] No, I air-dry.
Ethan: [to Jerry at his bachelors party] Everybody loves you. Pisses me off.
Jerry Maguire: [after breaking up with Avery] I'm not trying to make history here.
Laurel: I'm incapable of small talk.
Dorothy: I have this great guy. And he loves my son. And he sure does like me a lot.
Rod Tidwell: Jerry Maguire, my agent. You're my ambassador of Kwan.
Rod Tidwell: [sarcastically to Jerry] Is it my imagination or, didn't we arrive in a limo?
Jerry Maguire: [to Dorothy before their date] That's more than a dress. That's an Audrey Hepburn movie.
[Having sex with Jerry Maguire]
Avery Bishop: Don't ever stop fucking me!
Avery Bishop: [to Jerry] If you ever want me to be with another woman for you, I'd do it. It's not something I'm interested in. Once, yeah, it seemed normal, but it was just a phase, a college thing, like torn Levi's or law school for you. Would you like something from the kitchen? I'm gonna get some fruit.
Dorothy: [to Laurel] I've had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.
Rod Tidwell: [after showing up late to his game] Thanks for coming.
Jerry Maguire: I missed ya. What can I say? You're all I've got.
Jerry Maguire: [Over the phone] Tell me you got lost on your way to the restaurant because I know you wouldn't stand up a friend
Dennis Wilburn: Something came up
Jerry Maguire: [Referring to Rod's contract] ten million dollars for four years
Dennis Wilburn: It's early, your still dreaming
Jerry Maguire: Ten for four and it's a deal
Dennis Wilburn: The guy's got an attitude problem
Jerry Maguire: I can help you with that he listens to me
Dennis Wilburn: His a shrimp
Jerry Maguire: He broke every receiving record you had last year
Dennis Wilburn: I want a prototypical wide receiver I want someone who is six foot three inches tall, two thundered twenty pounds not someone who's five ten and bitches in the locker room
Jerry Maguire: I'm asking you for a favor I introduced you to your wife, we've spent Christmases together
Dennis Wilburn: You're reaching
Jerry Maguire: Don't do this, we have history
Dennis Wilburn: Yeah we have history, you've drove up the prices on me for years and now it's time for you to spend some time at the back of the line.
Bob Sugar: [over the phone] It's not "show friends." It's show *business*.
Dorothy: Look at me Laurel, I'm the oldest 26 year old in the world.
Rod Tidwell: [while on a plane] Ya know! Ya know! We're together on this one! Ya know! Ya know!
Jerry Maguire: Oh my god.
Jerry Maguire: [to Rod] I'll tell you why you don't have your ten million dollars. Because right now, you are a paycheck player, you play with your head and not your heart, your personal life is all heart but when you get on the field, it's all about what you didn't get, who's to blame, who under threw the pass, who's got the contracts you don't, who's not giving you your love. That's not what inspires people. Just shut up and play the game with your heart.
Jerry Maguire: [Narrating] America still sets the tone for the world of sports, in Indiana I signed Clark Hodd, his only thirteen years old and is considered the best point guard in the country and last week he scored a hundred points: in a single game. I also signed Erica Sorgi, you'll see her in the next Olympics. In Seattle I signed Dallas Malloy, she's sixteen years old and her lawsuit helped paved the way for women boxers everywhere, whenever she fights she thinks about her ex-boyfriend. In Indio, California I signed Art Stallings he plays the sport with what pure joy. In Odessa, Texas I signed the great Frank Cushman this April twenty six teams will be falling all over themselves in order to sign him in the next NFL draft his my client, my most important client, believe me there's genius everywhere but until they turn pro it's like popcorn in the pan some pop, some don't