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Growing up, my grandma lived 20 minutes down the road, so I'd go to her house for the weekend at least once a month. I was her only grandchild. Her other children married but never had kids, so I was spoiled. She'd take me out for ice cream, to the park, the pool, shopping, whatever my heart desired. I would always cry when my parents picked me up to go home. She'd give me a kiss on my forehead and tell me how much she loved me and how special I was to her. My home life was great and full of love and support, but nothing beat weekends with grandma.
My friends became my priority in high school, so our weekends came to an end. We'd still go shopping on occasion, but I began to cancel plans with her to hang out with my friends. I would get annoyed when she told me how special I was to her.
College came and went, and I moved back to my hometown for work. My grandma moved closer, about a 5 minute drive away, to a retirement home to be closer to family. We'd go out for dinner every now and then. She was too weak for shopping anymore. Sometimes we'd call each other, and she'd continue to remind me how special I was to her and how much she loved me. I started to really enjoy those phone calls, we'd chat for an hour and it felt like only a few minutes had passed. Sadly, life and starting my career got in the way and those calls and dinners became a rare occurrence.
Last summer she got really sick. Doctors predicted 6 months. My parents moved her into their house where she would be more comfortable. I knew I needed to make my time with her count, but I was too busy. I did stop by after work one day for dinner, but I couldn't stay long.
A week after the move, I got a call at work from my mom that grandma is saying her goodbyes. I started to panic. I thought I had more time. I tell my boss what's going on and immediately race to her side. I laid beside her in bed with her arm around me, snuggled up like we used to when I was a child. She told me one last time how special I was and how much she loved me, and we talked about our happy memories together. I wished we'd had more. I realized how selfish I'd been over the years and how much I had taken her and our time together for granted. It was too late to make more time for her now.
She passed away that night in her sleep. Over 200 people attended her funeral, including family, her friends from the retirement home, members from her church, her high school graduating class, old coworkers from when she was a nurse, neighbors from the house my mother grew up in, and other people she met throughout her life that she had left a long-lasting impact on, even her dentist came! All of them came up to me individually recognizing me from all of the pictures she kept around her home and told me how special I was to her and how much she loved me.
It's been 6 months since I lost her, and I think about her all the time. I cry myself to sleep some nights thinking back on memories with her. I got a new phone last week and noticed my inbox was full today. I'm really bad about deleting old voicemails, and I was surprised they all transferred over to my new phone. While scrolling through and deleting all of the old ones, I found one my grandma had left me last year. Judging by the timestamp, I think it was about the last time I took her out to dinner. I've listened to it dozens of times already today just to hear her voice.
"Bluepurplegreenx. My sweet darling. This is your grandma. Let me know if your schedule is free any next week and we'll go to [restaurant]. I'm really looking forward to seeing you. Do you know how much I love you? Because it's a whole lot. Give me a call when you get a minute. Take care."
Sorry for the long post, the voicemail has me super emotional and wanting to write about it. Please don't take the time you have with loved ones for granted.