Video Review: The BMW 750i xDrive, Tranquillity With a Touch of Vegas

A case could be made that modern automobiles are the most impressive consumer products created. Sophisticated cars contain more than 100 million lines of computer code (apparently all of Facebook comes in at about 60 million), and you probably don’t leave your laptop outside in the rain, snow or blistering heat for days on end. If you do, please write and tell me why.

The new 2016 BMW 750i xDrive folds an entire Best Buy of technology into a sedan and then takes on Boeing for good measure with a carbon-fiber-rich chassis that reduces weight by 190 pounds. If Apple is truly serious about building cars, I’ll wager BMW could quickly counter with a credible smartphone.

While new owners could easily hop in and drive away without consulting the manual, mastering the features could take a few days. Bullet points include a “traffic jam assistant” that semiautonomously keeps the car paced and placed within its lane during rush hour.

There is night vision should the LED headlamps not be brilliant enough, and an 8-speed transmission that takes cues from GPS to anticipate shift dynamics. Hand gestures can control phone and sound system functions — usually. I had some hiccups, and I’ll note again that I’m not crazy about BMW’s transmission selector.

Ultimately, though, this car is not about gadgetry. For the lucky ones whose garages are graced by this machine, it’s about indulgence. The 750i tranquilly runs with a 4.4-liter, 8-cylinder engine with two twin-scroll turbos tucked in the V. Rich torque helps usher the car from rest to 60 miles an hour in 4.3 seconds.

Using GPS, electromechanical dampers and adjustable antiroll bars, BMW’s adaptive suspension provides a serene ride quality. Agility is courtesy of all-wheel steering and the expected BMW chassis tuning.

In sport mode, the car feels as if half a ton has been lifted from its 4,600-pound mass, but the sixth-generation 7 Series is no M3, nor is it meant to be one. Please, BMW purists, hold your venomous tongues. Dynamics are impressive and appropriate for this class, which includes the Audi A8 and Mercedes S-Class. Chill out and buy an M235i to romp around in.

The 7’s back seat probably has the same volume as an entire 2 Series cabin. All 7 Series brought to the United States are of the long-wheelbase variety (for now, anyway). Equipped with the Executive Seating package, it pampers chief executives with a removable Samsung tablet that controls entertainment and iDrive features. Doing its best Optimus Prime impression, with the push of a button the car can transform its right side into a true first-class experience with a footrest deploying from the front passenger’s seat back. The gyrations of seats, screens and footrest can cause children to go bonkers (adults, too, though they’re loath to admit it).

It appears the Bavarians have been visiting Las Vegas. The cabin lighting is mesmerizing. LEDs rim the panoramic roof, illuminating a pattern etched into the glass. A spiral glow graces a speaker in the superb Bowers & Wilkins sound system, proving music can look as good as it sounds. Even people walking by get a taste of the owner’s good fortune; the puddle lamp pattern is a work of modern art.

Starting at $82,295 for a 740i ($129,245 as driven), this stealth luxury ride has a polish and depth that demand time to truly grasp. The cabin is stuffed with inlaid wood and offers sumptuous seats. The large key fob has smartphone envy, its touch screen offering information on vehicle range and whether the doors are locked. In other markets, it can dispatch the 7 to saunter off on its own to park. In reality, it may be a chauffeur behind the wheel. Perhaps what BMW has built is the Ultimate Riding-In Machine.