Footloose (1984)

Spoilers Ahead:

The mixing of the sacred with the profane in this movie would have kept Durkheim up at nights. I can tell you this, it has two good songs the title and Let's Hear It For The Boy, like Flashdance they had to import Cougar's Hurt So Good to conceal how bad the rest of the score is. Dienne Wiest, could she be more saintly? Did she come from heaven in a beam of pure light? Young people, when you are Wren, I know, it is misspelled for a reason, the whole world really does not stop when you drive up playing that awful Quiet Riot crap. See, even small towns have their own indigenous deviants, some of which probably make Wren look like a Sunday school teacher. I love that, the whole school comes to a stop when he drives up. There is a word for that it is: Narcissism. They would not have given a big poop. Did you enjoy seeing action star Christopher Penn humiliated like that? No wonder he passed away. I bet he preferred the scene in Best of the Best 2 where he gets his neck snapped. The movie is painful; Lori Singer single handedly destroyed the Man With One Red Shoe. Her beauty is equaled only by her abysmal acting.

I am sorry, votaries, but when I saw this in a theater people were giggling all through Wren's Bible lecture on How God is in to Disco. Please, OK, have mercy, we are eating out here stick to your bad haircut and go bust a seem on your jeans dorky boy. Yes, Wren the expert on theology and how it applies to bad dancing. Trust me, he can read any Psalm he likes if God saw their dancing He would have taken that out of the old testament. Even granting the silly premise, the movie is bad beyond belief. Did somebody say Herbert Ross, the genius who made Undercover Blues? Yes, he is like Stanley Kubrick. The movie is so contrived, silly and unintentionally drop dead funny. I agree with the above reviewer, it is better than Flashdance but so is a pile of dog poop. We get Lord Worfin playing the world's most unbelievable preacher with his saintly wife kindly castrating him for his own good. The whole Electra complex with Ariel and Elmer Gantry: BORING. I can understand her death wish; hey, if I were in this movie I would step in front of a train too.

Gee, show of hands, how many people thought Fire and Brimstone boy wouldn't give in and there would be no dance? Wren leaves town and they all jump off the bridge? The ending is known in advance by anyone who can get ten neurons firing. The scene with Wren testing the limits of his pant's seems in the warehouse is drop dead funny. I and my buddies were not the only people laughing. It made a lot of money but people were giggling all through this turkey. See, if you know the ending within five minutes of the beginning it bores the hell out of us. Herbert Ross made that piece of excrement Seems Like Old Times, and his only big hit The Sunshine Boys is one half of a good movie; the second half is dismal. Only Lithgow can act, he gets terrible performances out of the rest of the cast. Wiest is a 9 on the sphincter scale.

Yes, you will want to cut loose: we all did right out of the freaking theater on this dorkorama cheese ball special. It is full of scenes that are funny that are supposed to be serious and vice versa. A True Lobotomy Special: try hitting yourself in the head many times before viewing. It gets better and better the more brain cells you lose. HOKEY POKEY