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"Doctor Who" The Lazarus Experiment (TV Episode 2007) Poster

(TV Series)

(2007)

Quotes

Professor Richard Lazarus: I find that nothing's ever exactly like you expect. There's always something to surprise you. Between the idea and the reality, between the motion and the act...

The Doctor: Falls the shadow.

Professor Richard Lazarus: So the mysterious Doctor knows his T.S. Eliot. I'm impressed

The Doctor: Wouldn't have thought you'd have time for poetry, Lazarus, what with you being so busy defying the laws of nature and everything.

Professor Richard Lazarus: You're right, Doctor. One lifetime's been too short for me to do everything I'd like. How much more I'll get done in two, or three, or four.

The Doctor: It doesn't work like that. Some people live more in twenty years than others do in eighty. It's not the time that matters, it's the person.

Professor Richard Lazarus: But if it's the right person, what a gift that would be.

The Doctor: Or what a curse. Look at what you've done to yourself.

Professor Richard Lazarus: Who are you to judge me?

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The Doctor: You're a joke, Lazarus. A footnote in the history of failure!

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The Doctor: Really shouldn't take that long just to reverse the polarity. I must be a bit out of practice.

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The Doctor: [sees Martha's mother walking towards them; smiles] Ah, Mrs. Jones; we never finished our chat.

Francine Jones: [without preamble she slaps the Doctor round the face]

Francine Jones: Keep away from my daughter!

Martha Jones: Mum, what are you doing?

The Doctor: [rubbing his jaw] Always the mothers! Every time!

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The Doctor: Black tie... Whenever I wear this, something bad always happens.

[thinking about the events of "Rise of the Cybermen"]

Martha Jones: That's not the outfit, that's just you. But anyway, I think it suits you. In a... James Bond kinda way.

The Doctor: *James Bond*? Really...

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Martha Jones: [having just escaped the transformed monster that was Lazerus] Are you okay?

Tish Jones: I was gonna snog him.

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The Doctor: [spots tray of hors d'oeuvres] Ooh, they've got nibbles! I love nibbles.

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Tish Jones: He's a science geek, I should've known.

The Doctor: Science geek, what's that mean?

Martha Jones: That you're obsessively enthusiastic about it.

The Doctor: [grins] Oh, nice.

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The Doctor: Lovely to meet you, Mrs. Jones. I've heard a lot about you.

Francine Jones: Have you. What have you heard, then?

The Doctor: Oh, y'know, that you're Martha's mother, and... Uhm... no, actually, that's about it. We haven't had much time to chat. You know, been... busy.

Francine Jones: Busy? Doing what, exactly?

The Doctor: Oh, y'know... stuff.

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Professor Richard Lazarus: Ladies and gentlemen, I am Professor Richard Lazarus, and tonight, I'm going to perform a miracle. It is, I believe, the most important advance since Rutherford split the atom, and the biggest leap since Armstrong walked on the moon. Tonight, you will watch and wonder, but tomorrow, you will wake to a world which will be changed forever.

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[Lazarus emerges from the machine, now a much younger man than when he stepped in]

Professor Richard Lazarus: Ladies and gentlemen, I am Richard Lazarus. I am seventy-six years old. And I am reborn!

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Professor Richard Lazarus: [grasps Tish's hand] That's an interesting perfume. What's it called?

Tish Jones: [disgusted] Soap.

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The Doctor: This isn't about improving, this is about you and your customers living a little longer!

Lazarus: Not a little longer, Doctor. A lot longer. Perhaps indefinitely.

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Lazarus: Why don't you come out and face me?

The Doctor: Have you looked in the mirror lately? Why would I want to face that, hmm?

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The Doctor: [playing the organ] Need to turn this up to eleven.

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[Reacting to Professor Lazarus's statement on the news]

The Doctor: No, I'm sorry, did he say he was going to change what it means to be human?

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The Doctor: [about to play the organ] I hope there's a good acoustic in here.

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Tish Jones: [referring to her romantic interest in Dr. Lazarus] I know the age thing's a bit freaky but it worked for Catherine Zeta-Jones.

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[to all the guests]

The Doctor: Listen to me! You people are in serious danger. You need to get out of here, right now!

Olive Woman: Don't be ridiculous. The greatest danger here is choking on an olive.

[the mutated Lazarus breaks in]

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The Doctor: Oh, look, they've got nibbles! I love nibbles.

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The Doctor: Using hypersonic soundwaves to create a state of resonance... That's inspired.

Professor Richard Lazarus: You understand the theory then.

The Doctor: Enough to know that you couldn't possibly have allowed for all the variables.

Professor Richard Lazarus: No experiment is entirely without risk.

The Doctor: That thing nearly exploded. You might as well have stepped into a blender.

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[final lines]

Francine Jones: [on the phone] Martha, it's your mother. Please, phone me back, I'm begging you! I know who this Doctor really is! I know he's dangerous! You're going to get yourself killed! Please trust me! This information comes from Harold Saxon himself. You're not safe!

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See also

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