Credited cast: | |||
Bruce Willis | ... |
Eddie
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Claire Forlani | ... |
Karen
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Mark-Paul Gosselaar | ... |
Jack
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John Brotherton | ... |
Nicholas
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Ashley Kirk | ... |
Zoe
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Lydia Hull | ... |
Jenna
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Jenna B. Kelly | ... |
Logan
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Daniel Bernhardt | ... |
Simon
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Sammi Barber | ... |
Apsara
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Torrie Wilson | ... |
Bikini Girl
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Nick Loeb | ... |
Andrew Herzberg
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Tyler Jon Olson | ... |
Lucas
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Madison West | ... |
Vet Assistant
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Jean Claude Leuyer | ... |
Gustavo
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John Ceallach | ... |
Eddie's guy #2
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After a botched heist, Eddie (Bruce Willis), a murderous crime boss, hunts down the seductive thief Karen (Claire Forlani) who failed him. In order to win back Eddie's trust, Karen recruits her ex-lover and premier thief Jack (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) to steal a cargo of rare precious gems. But when the job goes down, allegiances are betrayed and lines are crossed as Jack, Karen, and Eddie face off in a fateful showdown. Lionsgate Premiere will release the action thriller in theaters and on demand on April 22, 2016. Written by Lionsgate Premiere
Boy, did wisecracks degenerate pretty severely since Die Hard and the good ol '90s. This faceplant reeks of cheap thrills, direct-to-DVD actors and, of course, a 150 year old Bruce Willis. I'm about 2/3 into the movie and I've already forgotten half of the plot. Mark-Paul Gosselaar, the Michelangelo of Thieves apparently, acts with the kind of confidence only a guy who thinks Wakeboarding is an extreme sport would. And did I mention every girlfriend is a sniper? Granted, no adults were involved in the making of 'Precious Cargo', or it wouldn't have been made at all. This train wreck is what happens when subpar directors try to make movies for millennials the most unlikely-to-happen plot in the universe right now.