Hey, You!
Latest Stories
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I was working late in my downtown Santa Ana studio one night when I heard you and your Neanderthal friends banging loudly on the walls and roll-up gates of the businesses directly across the street. Whether you were drunk or not, nothing excuses you and your asshole friends' insolent behavior—you...
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You're the guy—white, mid-20s, scruffy, Sears poncho, eau de Brookhurst—who mumbled something as I was walking into Target the other night. "What?" I asked. "Spare some change so I can buy my girlfriend a home pregnancy test?" you repeated, barely audible. I declined because I usually never have change, although...
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You were the two teenaged smokers leaning against the car parked next to mine. As I exited the Ralphs on Harbor Boulevard in Fullerton a few weeks ago, I spied you from the door and thought, "Great. Two youths who don't give a damn about other people are smoking and...
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You were the beautiful, handsome male stranger with lovely teeth and a husky. We met briefly months ago at dog beach and chit-chatted about homeless bums fighting on the pier. I was crying, wearing a melon-colored dress and throwing my tissues away. Sorry I was so distant. I want to...
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You were the road ragers who followed a single, senior woman from Seal Beach into Long Beach until I pulled into a gas station to call 911. At first, I thought you were yelling at someone else to make a turn, but, no, you were raging at me, hairy ape arms flailing...
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Hey, you voracious OC Weekly readers in Old Towne Orange! It was only Saturday morning, and I went to four different newspaper boxes in the area, and they were all EMPTY! I cannot imagine the fine people over at OC Weekly World Headquarters forgot to stock up my fine little...