Dec. 21, 2012, came and went with nary an end of the world, as conspiracists had long claimed the Mayan Long Count calendar promised. The world responded with a collective yawn—just as the Trilateral New World Illuminati Freemasons want us to.

Fact is—and not to get too Ecclesiastes on y’all—the seasons come, and the seasons go, and everything eventually ends (except the cluelessness of the Republican Party when it comes to the Mexican vote). Because of the impermanence of life, your humble infernal rag treasures all that is fine and wonderful about Orange County, and asks ustedes to do the same when we publish our annual love letter to OC known as the Best Of issue. If the apocalypse ever were to come—if the Rapture happened, or al-Qaeda ever gets its hands on a nuke, or a comet smacks into us, or Xenu decides to have fun again—we would need a guide to reconstruct this wonderland of ours. Consider this a starting kit of those stores, restaurants, activists, parks, artists, bands and so much more that should be brought back first, treasures you should visit now while the going is good. And, of course, make sure to download our Best Of app in the iTunes store as well—because you never know when Kang and Kodos just might overtake the White House. . . .

—Gustavo Arellano