D800 Noob - Please Help!!!

Hi, I just purchased a Nikon D800, and I have a few questions about it. First is regarding the noise. I'm admittedly a bit of a pixel peeper, and when I decided to shell out $1700 for a new camera, I expected to at least get a usable 1600. First off - I didn't. Second - Indoors, ISO 1600 with F/1.8 only got me a 1/60 shutter speed. This is in ample lighting. In order to get 1/500 shutter speed at F/1.8, I have to use HI.07!!! If you don't have a D800, there is basically nothing but noise anything above 3200. Am I doing anything wrong, or is it just the camera? I just got it and have not been able to test it outside yet, but I like to take BIF shots, and am figuring that I will need to use the HI settings in order to use F/8 and a 1/600 shutter speed. Is this correct or am I doing something wrong? Second problem - It just doesn't look 36 MP to me. I have a D3300, which I am selling to get this camera, and frankly, it outperforms it in just about every way. It has MUCH better high ISO performance, higher shutter speed, and the pictures look sharper. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG???