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Nairspecht
(Writer, Film Critic & Engineer from India.)
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Also, the title is sort of a figure of speech, which means the list also contains films which I did watch wholly but did not like.
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Masala Republic (2014)
The Masala Was Not Used Properly. ♦ 20%
I have to admit that the makers had a great idea behind the making of this satire. We hardly see any sarcasm-centered flicks in Mollywood, let alone satire. But, Masala Republic tries to differ, yet stumbles in its own wrongs by overcooking the plot and failing to follow a formulated recipe.
Indrajith only enters the screen after 30 minutes. The monotonous montage which starts the film gives a lucid intro to what we might expect: the plight of Bengali (non-Keralite) workers in a state obsessed with righteousness and huge amounts of literacy. Not that Indrajith succeeds in turning the tables around, but the viewer gets both bored and curious to what would happen next. So, there's a high probability that you may sit and continue watching it.
Then comes the sides. Satiring politics requires great effort and that's where the writers fail. We are shown a bunch of spine-less aficionados who run a political organization who vow to help these workers when the state arbitrarily bans the use of paan masala. As it is shown (and known) that the outsiders live on this masala so as to work endless shifts, the so-called workers' union start revolting. A set of incidents ensue as Shambu (Indrajith), a policeman of the fictitious Anti Gutka Squad pledges to thwart its use, media tries to salvage its respective reputation and the fictional paan masala mafia tries to resurrect.
The story as an outline looks good on paper. But when it is executed using shabby setup, repetitive and irritating dialogs, over- fictionalized situations and cliché, the invention backfires. And that is how Masala Republic rolls down the gutter. Many themes in the film are worth considering and many are cringe-worthy (and downright illogical), which creates ennui in its audience. I am not much impressed with direction as well. Cinematography is fine.
BOTTOM LINE: I tried a couple of times to set my view-tone and concentrate, but the sequences thrown at me were either boring or beyond my apprehension. Can be avoided if you're a lousy movie guy. Consider, if you are into independent, art-house kinda films.
Can be watched with a typical Indian family? YES
Kick (2014)
Kick The Film Out Of Existence. ♦ 0%
I have not watched the Telugu version.
But if you were to ask me what is the most annoying thing about its remake, then I would say this peculiar background jingle "Kickya Kickaaaa..." that plays every time the lead character tries to be over- smart or punches a dialog on to our face.
Salman Khan supposedly plays a superhero with a Godly name Devi because even after sitting through the 140-minute torture, I couldn't fathom his actual role. Narrowing it down, he is the good Devi Singh for the world and his girlfriend (Fernandez), but is also the evil Devil for his enemies. But at the end, everything mixes up and you wonder if it was the most outrageous Samaritanship you have seen on-screen. He can teleport, fly, dance, break-dance, smirk, jump from bridges/skyscrapers, ride a weird vehicle, save women from being molested, pay up hapless children's hospital fees, et cetera..
The film is basically about how Devi Singh takes on the original evil guys (Siddiqui, Sharma) with a mask that looks like Krrish has put on weight. This you will see if you are brave enough to control your patience after 30 minutes into the film. Khan uses slapstick and situational comedy to bring out screw-ball, but fails disastrously. His expressions, stances, dialogs all blew. Not to mention many sequences were taken from his previous potboilers. He acts childishly throughout and instantly turns into a hard-faced dandy when confronted. I can even say that this is Khan's worst performance for me.
Hooda can be seen in one of the wasted roles of his career and for the first time I am disappointed with Siddiqui as well. He only cackles through the film and that is the second most irritating thing. There is no vindictiveness nor there is any substance about his villainy. Fernandez is hot, agreed. She slightly resembles Zeenat Aman, agreed. But can she act? If your definition of acting is wearing a body-sticking top and a very short pant, trying to be more voluptuous than Baywatch star Pamela Anderson, then YES.
Coming to the screenplay. Chetan Bhagat has maybe charmed me once or twice with his writing but this is pure buffoonery. Screenplay can be divided into 3 parts: first - the 40 minute stupidity, then some melodrama and cheap twisty plot points stitched together, third - predictable climax with a hackneyed flashback. Writing is preposterous and all this substandard parameters just downs the whole parade.
It mixes action and humor, and while few Hollywood films get away with it, this was bad. Terribly bad. The stunts are poorly choreographed, showing us not the actual fights but the aftermaths where Devi Singh comes out victorious. Every time. It has 4-5 songs for its supposedly cheesy audience with Narghis Fakhri coming to quench your lusty desire (hope is audacious?!).
It references Dhoom 2 & Jai Ho. If you were to mix up those films and create an output, you would get an unedited version of Kick. Hrithik Roshan skated in Dhoom 2, here Khan cycles. Roshan had a revolutionary mask in Krrish, here Khan has a toy mask with red outline. While I did appreciate where the second half was going and suddenly my hopes went up, it was soon diverted into the usual climactic pitch, leaving me tired, stabbed and dead.
BOTTOM LINE: Kick may look like it is for Khan's fans, but trust me it is worse than Jai Ho, Bodyguard, Ek Tha Tiger, etc.. Although there is this one animated sequence that I loved, depicting Devi Singh's childhood, it cannot really be termed as a salvaging factor. The animation is top-class. If I could advice, I would say just erase the thought of going for this. It sucks.
Can be watched with a typical Indian family? YES
Yudh (2014)
Interesting. ♦ 60%
That is the only single word I can relate the show with, as of now. The pilot seemed to understate what it has in store by revealing very little. Although, Yudh looks sensible and more like a solution finder (or at least promises to be) for India's greatest real-time problem, "graft."
Yudhisthir Skarwar (Bachchan) is a diseased, righteous and honest man, yet his reputation precedes him among the bureaucrats and city-runners. His familial life is also not pleasant. The righteous attitude of his plays against him as he plans to shift to mining business, which is marred with the g-word. The storytelling is fine, but I am still not satisfied with the editing and this is not in comparison with international TV shows. I was expecting a polished start (last we saw in Anil Kapoor's 24; it wasn't perfect but superior), since we have Anurag Kashyap and others in the creative team. Also, the sound mixing and editing sucked big time. I couldn't hear a single word Bachchan was pronouncing. It wasn't my TV set, I am sure because others did fine.
Also, the sequences were not completely credible for a pilot. The first episode has to cause an intrigue and Yudh disappoints there. But we cannot decipher anything before we see 2-4 more episodes. If it enhances, I'll update this review. If not, Yudh is just a pretentious potboiler, existing to rake in moolah from Bachchan's first time TV appearance, further energized by his matchless fame.
BOTTOM LINE: Have a look for few episodes and if it continues to follow pretence, skipping won't be harmful.
Can be watched with a typical Indian family? YES
Vaayai Moodi Pesavum (2014)
Not A Review, But A Warning, This! ♦ 21%
I am going to warn you people about the peril of watching this film, either in Tamil or Malayalam. With no story at all, the plot of this terribly long film drags and manages to stand afoot with one and only one thing: HORSEPLAY.
It starts off with characters that are not properly introduced: a happy- go-lucky salesman who is a brilliant communicator, an innocent girl kept on her toes by her strict boyfriend, and some of the worst characters in cinema history: actor and alcohol lovers' fans associations who are in a face off. The narrative is stupid as from thin air, a fictional epidemic strays the city and people start losing their voices. Off-screen, I was starting to lose my temper.
Then comes the second half where every single character is seen playing charades, because the city administrators have put up a ban on "talking." The logic behind that is preposterous. This cannot be termed a spoiler alert since there is no plot at all, like I mentioned before. I courageously braved the second half to receive a blown-off climax and a rather clumsy ending. It felt like even the makers had got tired of the nonsense they had voluntarily created. It has many themes, yet even one fails to make a point.
Watching Madhoo after a very long time felt good. Nazim is fine and so is Salman. Supporting cast is nothing much to speak about. The film heavily borrows from yesteryear classics, Taare Zameen Par for example.
BOTTOM LINE: I had this sinking feeling after watching the film, because I felt like I had lost something out of me and now I know what it was: my logical thinking capability. The 2 stars are for the few chuckles and emotive sequences I enjoyed. Avoid!
Can be watched with a typical Indian family? YES
Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania (2014)
The Most Ridiculous Plot Of 2014. ♦ 27%
If you have watched DDLJ, then do not even bother considering this potboiler. It looks like it is ripped-off from DDLJ, but mind you, it is an awful rip-off.
The story makes no sense at all, where characters come, make their point and dash off with the speed of light. An engaged girl falls in love with a boy who knows about her engagement. Still cajoles her and purportedly makes her fall in love. The father of the girl then puts up a competition between the boy and her fiancé. I know this sounds uncanny and we last saw it in Heropanti. I have no love for people who base their film on such hackneyed plot.
The performances are fine: Bhatt's cuteness may charm you, Dhawan's slapstick is fine but he seems to have jumped out of the nearby Main Tera Hero sets. It was real pleasure to watch Ashutosh Rana again after a long time, but then he too succumbs to the director's sloppy skills.
If you try to make sense of the film, then you will involuntarily commit suicide inside the theater. The main problem with the film is that characters appear when the director asks them to. It is easily predictable what the climax would be, so it cannot be termed a spoiler alert if I say that the fiancé is nowhere in picture in the climax. And then there are unbearable songs (what, 5?) stuffed between the rather narrow storyline.
The film actually is a money-generating strategy by the producers. Bhatt & Dhawan are youth icons, so the youth may have a look, curious of the songs and the rom-com genre. I wonder why Yo Yo Honey Sing was not roped in for the music; the makers may have earned a crore or two more. It also makes potshots at Punjabi community, homosexuals, NRIs, et cetera.
BOTTOM LINE: I might have chuckled few times but that's all. If you skip this film, you will not lose anything. Rather, use your 140 minutes in doing something productive.
Can be watched with a typical Indian family? YES
The Raid 2: Berandal (2014)
Action? Check. Crime? Check. Boredom? Check. ♦ 61%
I have never been so eager for a sequel.
It starts off brilliantly and I can still experience vibrations in my ear, after watching the 150-minute long bang bang. The story resumes from where it left off and hits a point where the plot stops to make sense. Questions come to your mind like the bodies pile up in the fine screenplay. The cinematography will keep you at the edge of your seat and martial arts will again make you fidget. The mixture of the police and gang worlds and the corruption involved in them is the crux of the plot, which failed to make a punch, in my opinion.
The narration is a bit faulty leading to the climax, which is open to many interpretations. The rendition and execution is better than the prequel. Gareth Evans seems to be a perfectionist because in departments of art, CGI, SFX, VFX, costumes and style, this film gets 10/10.
I tried hard to derive pleasure from watching it but in fact, found myself in a state of ennui-driven stagnancy. At the end, I felt an unease stroke of pain in my mind, caused by calculating the happenings in the film.
BOTTOM LINE: You are bound to enjoy it for it is high on action and crime and suspense. But, the greatest action movie ever made? No, that requires a credible and fathomable story. Die Hard has it. The Raid 2 doesn't. Watchable!
Can be watched with a typical Indian family? NO
Violence/Gore: Infinite | Smoking/Alcohol: Strong | Vulgarity/Nudity: Mediocre
Thanks Maa (2009)
Okay, It Speaks Volumes. Period. ♦ 44%
I don't understand the fuss over this film. While it successfully conveys a social message about abandonment of infants by their imbecile producers, this is shoddy filmmaking under the disguise of art.
The worst thing about Thanks Maa is its uncensored & insensitive dialogs. You will find expletives in every other dialog and it plays against the movie-watching experience. Let me remind myself that I am not watching a documentary here. I understand authenticity but the plot often mixes authenticity with non-glamorous audacity and the latter is not what a film samples while touching a topic so raw. It is independent cinema at its vulnerability because the writing is pretty pure, directly coming off the streets of Mumbai.
You may relate with the outright, on-your-face themes, the story so honestly depends on but as a film, it lacks many a points like cinematography, direction and most essentially, the narration. While it manages to deduce elements out of multiple themes (abortion, orphanage, humans in denial, Samaritan-ism, insensitivity, etc..), the cohesion is ineffective. And I see no reason why Indians, with their conservative attitude even when it comes to films, will want to see it.
BOTTOM LINE: The National Award was deserving but as it may seem, Thanks Maa is just a hyped up drama. Watch it if you love documentaries.
Can be watched with a typical Indian family? NO
Profanity: Very Critical | Vulgarity/Obscenity: Strong
Bobby Jasoos (2014)
Entertainment. Entertainment. Illogical. ♦ 59%
The realization you gather that the whole film could've been done without the title character is ironical. But then the makers would have been jobless and also, the people behind other departments of this film wouldn't have got the opportunity to showcase their talents.
The film is built on a make-believe story: an aspiring female detective finds herself defying odds and in between a mystery where a rich boss hires her to find three specific people. The climax succeeds in disclosing this mystery but it is foolish enough for the audience to actually believe it; the story I mean. That is where Bobby Jasoos stumbles.
The first half is brilliant, funny and entertaining. It creates an aura as Bobby (Balan) spearheads her character with blink-and-you-miss multiple characters, donning various colorful costumes and masquerading as a beggar, astrologer, peon, what-not. It is evident that the film was written with Balan in mind. Rest of the cast are equally supportive of the narration. The screenplay is sweet: while the first one hour is used up to narrate the life of Bobby & her family and her acquaintances, the second half is averagely gripping. It never bores.
Art dept., costumes, make-up, locations & technical dept. all are top- notch. I couldn't bear the songs but they are negligible. There are at least 3 scenes that can be counted in some of the best films sequences in Bollywood this year.
BOTTOM LINE: I hate to sound equivocal. So, Bobby Jasoos is a definite recipe for entertainment, but falters when thinking movie-goers find and deride and ridicule and debate the pretentious story it so heavily depends on. Balan fans rejoice. Watchable!
Can be watched with a typical Indian family? YES
Law Point (2014)
Drama Founded On A Poor Premise. ♦ 44%
The film hardly has any relation with the subject of law, other than the first few minutes. It quickly jumps into a drama where a girl commits suicide after her boyfriend breaks up with her.
At least that's what the story talks about, initially. But then the plot advances to a merry-go-round and a load of twists start stumbling out of the premise. A con game is exposed where the lead character, a witty lawyer (Boban) is taken for a ride by a girl (Pramod). The first half is pretty boring: the rather serious lawyer is hobnobbing with a girl who is under depression. Then the second half attracts our attention, if at all you manage to sit through.
The twists hit us directly on our faces as the film turns into a thriller genre. Even though the premise and plot is illogical, it sorta entertains. The actors play fine, but I am tired of the montage and irritating background hymns. And at last, there is this homage to Indian cinema, yet the makers gave prominence to an American classic (Casablanca) in the end.
It is evident the makers did not put in enough imagination in the making and cook a story that is filled with clichés and boring sequences. The film's title could be rephrased as "Love Point," as the final recipe is about 2 love-birds who take full measures to stay in love.
BOTTOM LINE: Nothing much to gather here. If patience is one of your good quality, then have a look because it does has its moments. Otherwise, for people who think the film is about law and its practice, skip!
Can be watched with a typical Indian family? YES
Gangster (2014)
A Film With Exaggerated Use Of Special Effects. ♦ 30%
Maybe this is the first Malayalam film with heavy CGI and special effects that has the power to numb its viewers. It even samples animation at the start and end of the film, probably inspired by Tarantino's Kill Bill & Grand Theft Auto styling. For these, I give it 3/10. For the story, well, it sucks.
It is basically a revenge story set in the gangster world. While the over-styled characters move around in their palaces in slow-motion and trance background music, the writers fail to realize that the slow- motion scenes are playing against the film and in fact, dulling the whole premise. Had the plot been fast-forwarded to 2x, the film might have been better. The story is about some guy for whom I have no sympathy because he kills for a living. When another guy who snorts coke and bangs chicks in BDSM style for pleasure, introducing himself as a masochistic vagrant, comes to power through his godfather, he fights for prominence with our title character and all hell breaks loose.
The women in here are either sex dolls, pimps or soon-to-die wives. Mammootty is average although his English skills need to be tested. In fact, all the English dialog in the film seemed like they were being spoken by Desi amateurs. Sekhar Menon is fine but he was not vindictive enough; having a fat bod and bald mane doesn't count. Supporting cast is fine. While the direction is good, the screenplay is to be blamed. I don't know how I sat through the 2 hours of unenthuastic slowness; maybe it was the use of style and glamor, although I hate to admit that. Frankly, Gangster is high on elegance and null on intelligence/logic.
But, still I cannot tag it as a bad film because I got to appreciate the art department, the western vibes that are clear in every single frame of this new-gen flick that depends on an old formula. It is not appealing as a narrative, but for the sake of art, I give it a nod.
BOTTOM LINE: Screenplay, cinematography and editing are the culprits of this chic flick that unfortunately considers glitter as a celluloid factor and solely depends on it, resulting in a tasteless recipe. If you get hold of a DVD, seek through the plot-line.
Can be watched with a typical Indian family? NO
Profanity/Vulgarity: Mediocre | Drugs/Alcohol/Smoking: Strong