Paperback 699: Gold Medal s977 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Journey to a Woman
Author: Ann Bannon
Cover artist: photo cover, I think

Yours for: No. I keep. (probably worth about $60)


Best things about this cover:

• It's cruddy. But this is a novel by one of the biggest names in lesbian pulp, so I'm fond of it nonetheless.
• She's been ambered! (that reference was for "Fringe" fans only ... so, like, five of you)
• Is that text supposed to be a poem? Whose / Bright idea was it to break the / Lines that / way?

Best things about this back cover:

• Here's some important "gay" paperback code language: "half-" anything. Also, "shadows."
• Hey, I wanna go "tearing through the night on a fool's errand at the whim of a beautiful spoiled woman who had beckoned." That sounds awesome!
• "The strangely alluring woman called Vega!" — well, I've got at least one friend who will find this book interesting. A friend named 'Vega." You probably guessed that.

Page 123~

"Charlie has some idea for a new toy," Cleve went on. "He wants to call it 'The Scooth.' It's sort of a spring, a great big thing you can crawl inside or sit on top of and bounce."

Toys are important on your journey to a woman.

~RP

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Paperback 698: Ace Double D-457 (PBO/PBO, 1960) 

Title: Vulcan's Hammer / The Skynappers
Authors: Philip K. Dick / John Brunner
Cover artists: Ed Emshwiller / Ed Valigursky

Yours for: Not for sale


Best things about this cover:

• Bang bang Vulcan's space-age hammer came down upon his head
• Prototypes for the robot in "Short Circuit."
• I think a double-flashlight pincer hammer would actually be a pretty cool tool. 
• I like to think they're little styling hammers, making our hero look fabulous.

Best things about this other cover:

• A nice visual representation of what happens Every Time I try to peel a hard-boiled egg.
• That's some pretty sweet quintessential '60s sic-fi goodness. Best rockets always look like they came out of a kit and have a maximum of 8 parts, total.
• They kidnapped the sky! Or else they nap on planes, not sure.

Page 123~ (from "Vulcan's Hammer")

Halfway across the Atlantic they passed an immense swarm of hammers streaking toward helpless, undefended North America.

Other continents had presciently installed anti-Vulcan's Hammer technology decades earlier. Silly North Americans.

~RP

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Paperback 697: Pocket Books 935 (1st ptg, 1953)

Title: Out From Eden
Author: Victoria Lincoln
Cover artist: Tom Dunn

Yours for: $7


Best things about this cover:

• FRANK!
• An interesting variation on the typical Great Girl Art cover—this is more like one of those annoying modern covers where the women are always facing away or their heads are out of frame and possibly there is mist or water. If you think I'm kidding, just want into what they call a "book" "store" and look around.
• Any sexiness she brings to this cover, the schlubby painter dude totally takes out of it.
• I am having a Hate/Love relationship with that mug in the foreground.

Best things about this back cover:

• Are there different varieties of Edens? An Eden of Pancakes, maybe?
• "Raffish"—wow, that's not a word you see .... ever. Cool.
• So that must be Jessica on the cover. She seems nice.
• I don't want to know the "special and painful way" Todd learned about love because I am quite sure the version in my head is much better.

Page 123~

"You mean a is to b as c is to d?" again the intelligence faded. "How could you? They're letters and arithmetic is numbers."

"A frank and moving story of a naked girl who learned algebra."

~RP

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Paperback 696: Gold Medal s911 (PBO, 1959)

Title: Assignment—Lili Lamaris
Author: Edward S. Aarons
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Yours for: $7


Best things about this cover:

• Cover would be So Hot if it were less smudgy and closer-up. PAN IN!
• This is somewhere between super-sexy and "help me, I've fallen."
• She appears to be wearing ... mist. How convenient.
• I like how she just jams her right leg into the text, like "Don't look at those stupid words! Why are you looking down there when I'm up here!?"

Best things about this back cover:

• I like the attitude suggested by his face, i.e. "whatever, sketch me or don't sketch me, I don't give a fuck."
• Since "the enemy" is unnamed, I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's "lizard people."
• "Tenth book"?! He wrote 42 novels in this series! (This has been your "holy crap" literary moment of the day.)

Page 123~

He paused, listening to the silence here that was not quite a silence, but like the deep, patient breathing of a waiting animal. 

That's just Lili. She breathes funny when she's naked-crawling.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 695: Gold Medal 823 (PBO, 1958)

Title: Passage to Samoa
Author: Day Keene
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $14


Best things about this cover:

• Roger was inconsolable when he found out they weren't going to Disney World
• Roger was fastidious about thread-count.
• Jerry Orbach IS ... Roger IN ... "Passage To Samoa"!
• "They followed the random pink arrows ... to Death (or Murder or Love ... one of those)!"

Best things about this back cover:

• An inside look at Roger's circulatory system reveals that he is all fucked up.
• If that phony count doesn't have a sweet pencil mustache, I will be gravely disappointed.
• Roger liked his sex the old-fashioned way: bundled.

Page 123~

Janice protested. "But you can't kill us for nothing. What on earth is back of this, anyway?"

"Well, I'll tell you now, Miss Hart," Hines grinned. "It's this way. Me and Sven and a certain other gent got tired of being poor. So—"

Hanson bellowed, "Shut up, you fool. It's none of their business."

I like how honest and ingenuous Hines is. "Uh, we wanted money, 'cause we didn't have none, so ..."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 694: Gold Medal 763 (2nd ptg, 1958)

Title: Stop This Man!
Author: Peter Rabe
Cover artist: Darcy

Yours for: $14


Best things about this cover:

• A great, brutal cover marred only by the stupid slab of yellow Erskine at the top.
• Love the unfinished quality of painting toward the bottom, the obvious dilapidation on the ceiling, the dynamic use of perspective, the framing of his left hand in the dead middle of the page, the believable fear on her face, the simple, understated, off-center title ... all fantastic.
• Not sure what that shirt's made of though? Taffy?

Best things about this back cover:

• OK, is it "could not put this book down," or, as the cover clearly states, "couldn't put this book down." I call bullshit.
• I love (sarcastically) how this book basically belongs to Erskine Caldwell now. Sorry, Peter Rabe. I know it must be tough to get shown up on your own cover(s) by a 3-to-1 margin, but that's show business. Gotta move product.
• The NYT review clearly has no appreciation for how much I like "the lurid modern crime thriller."

Page 123~

They put handcuffs on the Turtle and put him in a police car. Then they drove him downtown, to the office of the FBI. The Turtle didn't say anything during the long ride. He didn't think that funny talk would make any difference any more.

Aw, c'mon, The Turtle, you're not trying hard enough. Do your Nixon impression!

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 693: Gold Medal 279 (PBO, 1953)

Title: The Big Guy
Author: Wade Miller
Cover artist: Jack Floherty

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover:

• When a gorilla of a man meets a tigress of a woman ... Tigrilla!
• Big guy. Short tie. Wide suit. Dumb stare. "Is my tie clip straight ... Well, IS IT!?"
• Did he tear her clothes off her or was she attacked by an ermine that's still semi-attached to her right shoulder?

Best things about this back cover:

• This is either the worst or the best back cover concept ever. It's so ... random. "How 'bout a dictionary entry?" "But that ... makes no sense." "Yes, but if we did it on a little floating piece of torn out paper then ... oh man I'm so high right now."
• "Bloodstained but usable" = lovely.
• Who is this "pa' shens" woman? A woman who teaches you how to drink, carouse and chase women!? She sounds amazing.
• Wade Miller was actually two guys, but you probably knew that.

Page 123~

He took his wife's arm and squared the odd-feeling yachting cap on his head. "Come on down to the barbecue. I got to carve up a pig."

After the first five words, this passage is like "Fuck it, I'm'a do whatever I want."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]