It's the weekend, y'all!

Today DH gets a mulligan on his very first century ride. He trained for months to cycle 100 miles, only to be felled two days before by a nasty stomach bug that made its way through our whole family. So we regrouped, found another century ride taking place in Ojai, and here we are!

The kids stayed home with my parents, but I will be at the finish line to cheer him on. It takes incredible determination and endurance to do something like this, and I am so proud of my hubby :-)

What are you up to this weekend? Chat away!

Here's one with the great Jimmy Fallon as Neil Young, and Bruce Springsteen as a YOUNG Bruce Springsteen - singing Willow Smith's, "Whip My Hair". Gotta love it...

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Here is a fascinating game that was passed along to me at Facebook:

If you can't see the video, basically, the test is a.) can you name a movie in which two women have names, b.) the two women talk to each other, and c.) they talk to each other about something other than men. Except for Thelma and Louise, my husband and I had a hard time naming any movies that meet this criteria. All of my favorite movies -- Ground Hog Day, Dirty Dancing, Strictly Ballroom, and Mr. Holland's Opus -- failed this test. My husband wondered what other movies were out there except for explosions and movies that talked about relationships?

The purpose of this game is to show how most movies cater to the tastes of men. Isn't that interesting?

I had an interesting conversation with a friend recently. He asked me what qualifies someone to warrant being called a "slut" - and, I had a hard time answering him.

SLUT

The word just sounds so...juvenile. The actual definition of a slut is: A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous. But what does "promiscuous" mean? Does it mean feeling free to explore one's sexual options? Is that wrong? Does that make one a "slut"?

When I was in high school (or, of like mind) - I considered a "slut" anyone that got the guy I wanted, but couldn't have. "Well, she must be giving it to him..." But now? I find it hard to define what would make a grown woman a slut.

The word "slut" can also be subjective. You may consider someone who get's married and is gasp! not a virgin a "slut." You may consider someone who has had more than one sexual partner a "slut." Or, someone who has had more than 10 sexual partners a "slut." I mean, if you're bed hopping you must not respect yourself or your body! Right? Speaking as someone who has had her fair share of ahem partners, I happen to respect my body. But, does the fact that I have had more than the old-fashioned set amount of sexual partners, make me slut?

So, I started surfing the net - as you do - searching for what people think makes a slut. And, I came upon a SLUT TEST! I took it, and found out that I am 68% slut! Wow! I'm impressed! My mom would be SO proud...

Take the test - IF YOU DARE!!

Now, I'm posing the question to you - what makes a slut? Are you a slut? Do sluts even exist?

Wonder twin powers - ACTIVATE! Form of A SLUT!!

HAPPY FRIDAY!!

One of my favorites - (I know I say that a lot...), is Hungry Heart.

From Wikipedia:

When Springsteen met Joey Ramone in Asbury Park, New Jersey, Ramone asked him to write a song for The Ramones. Springsteen composed "Hungry Heart" that night, but decided to keep it for himself on the advice of his producer and manager, Jon Landau. Previously, upbeat and catchy Springsteen songs such as "Because the Night" and "Fire" had been given away and become hits for others, and Landau was anxious that the trend did not continue.

Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack!
I went out for a ride and I never went back.
Like a river that don't know where its flowing,
I took a wrong turn and I just kept going
Everybody's got a hungry heart
Everybody's got a hungry heart
Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybody's got a hungry heart...

Hi all,

I've been experimenting with various ways to conduct interviews at MotherTalkers. I have done live-blog chats, but the downside to those is there is a limited window to ask questions.

So I am wondering if I can seek out questions ahead of time for a Q&A instead? That way, people can drop them throughout the day here, on Facebook, or at my e-mail: elisa at mothertalkers dot com.

I would like to interview Dr. Martha Howard of Chicago Healers, practitioners of holistic medicine. Her e-mail caught my eye because she offered these tips to protect our children from indoor pollution:

--Formaldehyde in new clothes, carpet, wallboards and furniture made of particle board or with particle board backing.
--Lead paint and other toxic paints. Children’s rooms should be painted only with non-toxic no-VOC paints. Even latex paints can emit toxic fumes over a long period of time, worsening allergies and asthma.
--Mercury in any form—especially as a preservative in vaccinations, or in dental materials
Food dyes, additives, and artificial sugars. The so-called "generally recognized as safe" food dyes are made of coal tar. MSG and aspartame are neurotoxins (see Russell Blaylock MD’s comprehensive book, Exitotoxins: The Taste that Kills.)
--Plastics that contain BPA
--Fire retardant chemicals in pajamas and bedding
--Sunscreens with "gender bending" chemicals like homosalate, octylmethoxycinnamate, octocrylene, oxybenzone. Use California Baby hypoallergenic sunscreen, Desert Essence sunscreen, or Aubrey Organic Sunscreen on all children (and on adults too!)
--Shampoos and lotions are full of chemicals. Desert Essence makes a good line of shampoos, conditioners and lotions that are chemical free.

There are many things you can do to not only avoid indoor chemical pollutants but also keep your kids healthy in general.

--Good indoor air filtration (with charcoal and zeolite in the filters, not just HEPA filters) can help limit exposure to airborne pollutants.  
--Drink filtered water
--Give children fresh, mostly organic unprocessed foods. This doesn’t have to be complicated. A turkey sandwich with whole grain bread, Applegate Farms or Hormel natural turkey (no additives, MSG, nitrites or nitrates—both big causes of cancer), and an organic apple are a great lunch, rather than packaged "cracker and cheese" or many of the items that are currently offered in school lunches.
--Become active in advocating for better indoor air quality and better food at your child’s school
--Stay informed about air and water quality and pollution hazards in your neighborhood and your town.

As someone with a son that has allergies, I am wondering what I can do to build his tolerance of his allergens. For example, I was told that offering him locally grown honey may help him "outgrow" his allergies of local grass and weeds. I wonder if there is any truth to that. What other questions do you have for Dr. Howard?

Happy Thursday!

What would make traveling with small children easier for parents?

When we lived in Sacramento and frequently drove to Los Angeles with a little toddler in the back seat, DH and I used to fantasize about opening a spacious, kid-friendly restaurant/indoor playground smack in the middle of that lonely 400-mile expanse on Interstate 5. A place to stop, stretch, eat, allow our little girl to run and jump and crawl, and generally recharge for the next 3 hours in the car.

That idea also holds true for airports. When we flew back east last December, Alex was almost 11 months old. He squirmed in our laps all the way to Chicago and then we couldn't put him down to crawl  during our layover because of the crowds and because, yuck, it is a grimy airport floor.

I remember seeing a sign that said one terminal had a kids' play area, but it was nowhere near our gate. So we were out of luck.

This survey found that most parents arein agreement that airports could do more to accommodate families.

According to the survey, almost 60 percent of participants would like to see soft play areas at airports, while more than half want areas where kid-oriented TV shows or films could be offered.

“It doesn't surprise me in the slightest that top 'wants' by families are entertainment-related,” said Suzanne Rowan Kelleher, editor-in-chief of the family travel site WeJustGotBack.com. “Airport time is waiting time, and keeping small children busy and content for long intervals is not easy.”

Also on the wish list were special play areas restricted to the under-five crowd, video game zones, storytelling services, stroller rentals and a kids’ café and bar with complimentary refreshments.

Um, yeah. TV and movie areas? Not so much. A laptop, iPad, or an old-school portable DVD player could easily serve that purpose. Storytelling services? Just read your kid a book. And complimentary refreshments for kids? Buy them a drink yourselves, goofy entitled parents!

But soft play areas and special play zones restricted to those age 5 and under? Genius.

And here are a few airports that seem to get the idea:

Orlando International Airport has a Build-A-Bear store and a 3,000-gallon aquarium filled with colorful fish. Zurich Airport has staffed playrooms filled with toys, dolls, books, computer games, painting supplies and building sets. And Singapore’s Changi International Airport has a four-story indoor slide.

Like Zurich didn't sound awesome enough already. I want to go to there.
What do you think? How do you make traveling with kids tolerable? Any tips?

What else is on your mind today? Chat away!

I just read one of those sappy romance novels by Emily Giffin called, "Something Borrowed" - and I LOVED IT. So today, I'm featuring Thunder Road, for both Rachel (you see! I DO read the comments!), as well as for the quintessential romantic in me.

"The screen door slams/Mary’s dress sways." It doesn’t get much more iconic than that, does it?

..."It’s a town full of losers/And I’m pulling out of here to win"...

The reason I put "climate change" in quotes is because there are people who don't believe it exists. Like, the oil and gas industry.

From my point of view in the Bay Area, there is definitely something going on with our climate. Weather forecasters were caught off guard by the amount of rain we had over Memorial Day Weekend, which put a damper on many businesses. Here is a San Francisco Chronicle article on it:

"This is unusual, and it does diminish the money," said John Wheeler of Sebastapol, who sells handmade jewelry. "But it's out of our control."

Saturday's fitful gloom shifted from drizzle to rain late enough that the amounts haven't yet been tabulated by the National Weather Service. But they were sizable enough that they're going to boost monthly figures that already are well above the norm....

San Francisco had .78 inches of rain for May as of 4 p.m. Saturday, one-third of an inch above average. Oakland had .65 of an inch, one-half inch more than the monthly norm.

In Santa Rosa, there have been two inches for the month -- double what's to be expected.

Keep in mind that we are the lucky ones. Yes, it's freezing, windy and damp outside. But we aren't the ones facing tornadoes and even food shortages, like our neighbors in the south and in Latin America. Here is a recent news story on global warming in Guatemala published in the UK Guardian:

In Guatemala, climate change has affected smallholders dramatically in the last two years. The country is particularly vulnerable to climate change and extreme events, thanks to its geographical position in an earthquake and hurricane zone.

The experience of 260 families living on the settlement of Guadalupe in the Suchitepéquez region of the Pacific coast is typical. They lost much of their staple crop last year and the year before. There is more rain in winter now, and the rains that used to come in April now only come towards the end of May. Rains have recently been accompanied by increasingly violent storms, followed by prolonged drought. Deforestation and diversion of rivers by plantation owners producing food or biofuel for export have exacerbated the problems.

What's up?

I have spotted a lot of great blogs lately that I decided to add a "homeschooling" section to our blog roll. If you know of other great homeschooling sites, or blogs in general -- are you in our blog roll?? -- then please let me know. Drop a comment here or e-mail me at elisa at mothertalkers dot com.

I just read a poignant article on the lack of middle class jobs in America. Even as the economy is recovering, it is doing so at the expense of the middle class, according to an article in Harvard Business Review. Here is an example of what we are seeing in terms of "job growth":

It turns out that the hiring we are seeing is at the extreme ends of the spectrum. To ensure strong profits, corporations are cutting out the middle layers of management — the middle-class. In their place, they are hiring at the very low end and promoting at the high end. Senior management compensation is up nearly 25% this year ($9M for the average S&P 500 CEO), to levels higher than in pre-recession days, according to executive compensation research firm Equilar.

On the other side, we have job growth coming in at the bottom of the pyramid, mostly minimum wage and temporary positions. Take last month's job creation, for example. Out of the 260,000 jobs created in April, a whopping 60,000 jobs came from one company: McDonald's. There is nothing wrong with flipping burgers for a living, but it will not pull us out of a recession.

Meanwhile, corporations are flush with cash because they are running a lean operation.

Prudie from the "Dear Prudence" column had advice for a mother with an autistic 5-year-old who sometimes acts out in public.

Last, but definitely not least, here are the details of our Minneapolis meet-up! Our very own Cynmill has arranged for us to meet in the city during the Netroots Nation Convention. A group of us are meeting that Thursday, June 16, at 5 p.m. at Brit's Pub. If you can make it, please let us know here or at the MotherTalkers Facebook page. That way Cynmill can make reservations for us. Thank you, Cynmill, and thanks all! I can't wait to meet in person.  

What else is in the news? What's up with you?

Because of Memorial Day, yesterday I featured Born in the USA by THE BOSS, Bruce Springsteen. Therefore, I thought I would make this BRUUUUUUCE Week! What is your favorite Bruce Springsteen song?

I love how the true Springsteen enthusiast describes one of my favorites, Born to Run:

Next, think about how endlessly profound the phrase "Born to Run" is.  Born to run from their problems. Born to run because it’s in their nature, an instinct no different than a shark’s single-minded quest to eat. Born to run because inertia is tantamount to death. Born to run with all of the grace and beauty of a gazelle, and born to run in a desperate, messy gait to escape the hellhounds of the past.  

As the next verse begins, it’s time for you to hone in on Garry Tallent’s burbling bass underpinning the entire grandiose structure of the song. But try also to notice how Bruce balances a genuinely heartfelt and chaste promise to Wendy with some bawdy talk to appeal to her more prurient side: "Wendy, let me in, I want to be your friend, I want to guard your dreams and visions/Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims and strap your hands across my engines."

But for all of that bravado, this guy quickly reveals himself to be vulnerable: "I’m just a scared and lonely rider" who wants to know "if love is real." The multi-faceted nature of this character is part of what makes this song so enduring.

Me? I just LOVE the way he looks in them jeans. YUM!

For a while now, I’ve wanted to interview women I know or know of who have careers and full family lives.  I am fascinated and in awe of women who run their own companies, live their lives honestly, and speak their own minds, loudly & bravely.

My first interview is withKel Kelly, who I met on Twitter. Don’t ask me how. She’s not somebody I work with or would know through work. I work in the high tech industry, usually around a lot of men who wear suits.  That's the beauty of social media -- I've connected  with all kinds of people, all over the world, from Boston, to Malaysia to Tel Aviv.

Kel Kelly lives an open and out life online. She co-founded her firm with her spouse Ginny Pitcher.  She blogs about topics from working mothers to Scott Brown (yes, that Scott Brown). Kelly is a woman who refuses to take meetings when she's scheduled to go to her kids' sports games. How awesome is that?

Happy Tuesday!

So, what do you think about the media storm over Storm, the "genderless baby"?

In case you haven't heard, the gist of the story is that a Canadian couple announced to friends and family that they weren't revealing the sex of their third child - even after the baby's birth.

“When the baby comes out, even the people who love you the most and know you so intimately, the first question they ask is, ‘Is it a girl or a boy?’” says Witterick, bouncing Storm, dressed in a red-fleece jumper, on her lap at the kitchen table.

“If you really want to get to know someone, you don’t ask what’s between their legs,” says Stocker.

Um, OK.

I get what this couple is trying to do. They are challenging gender norms and trying to see if this child can be allowed the freedom to grow up and announce his (or her) gender, rather than having society force those expectations on him/her.

But it seems to me like it would take entirely too much energy not to slip and describe baby as "he" or "she." Their young sons, ages 2 and 5, know the baby's sex, but also keep that information private (what if they let "the secret" slip?). And what if mom or dad have to change the baby's diaper while out and about? Do they go hide somewhere? Will grandma and grandpa not be allowed to babysit lest they get a glimpse of the baby's goods? (And no, the grandparents do not know baby Storm's sex).

I tend to agree with psychologist Diane Ehrensaft, who "worries by not divulging Storm’s sex, the parents are denying the child a way to position himself or herself in a world where you are either male, female or in between. In effect they have created another category: Other than other. And that could marginalize the child."

And I think Anna North over at Jezebel makes a great point:

Witterick and Stocker appear to have made gender nonconformity the center of their kids' lives in a way that may actually make gender more of an issue than it would've been if they'd taken a more laissez-faire approach. Hopefully as they grow older, they'll be able to find their own comfortable relationship with masculinity, femininity, and everything in between, without being pressured either to stand out or to fit in.

What do you think? Are you annoyed by society's insistence on gender norms? Would you be willing to attempt such a radical social experiment? Why or why not?

What else is going on? Do tell!

I hope you're having a GREAT Memorial Day!

We vote for it, don't we?

The other day I spotted comments at BlogHer defending a homeschooling mother of four on welfare. Being the bleeding heart liberal that I am, I immediately went to her blog, The Joyful Chaos, to voice my support.

Then I read her blog and the comments proceeding it, and was confused...and annoyed. Both the writer and her readers seemed to be blaming the government, or "Big Brother", for the predicament that she was facing. In this case, she felt humiliated by a WIC form that implied that she was not properly feeding her youngest child, who is underweight. Yet, the program does not allow her to buy whole fat milk, which I agree, should be left up to the families receiving the aid. She lamented all the "hoops" she went through to participate in the program, including appointments and being told what she could buy with the money.

But who's fault is that? Some say the "government" -- which again, is voted in by us. I say the people who voted it in: people lamenting the lack of "accountability" and "fraud" in the system.

Too much taxation? Well, as someone who has traveled to places where the taxes are very low to non-existent, I can tell Ms. Joyful Chaos that no matter where she goes on earth, someone is going to "own" her whether it be a warlord, drug lord, the church, the government, or the private sector. My guess is her husband's job "owns" him as he is not free to come and go as he pleases.  

The power of the private sector in this country has always astonished me because my family pays thousands of dollars per year in insurance premiums with no guarantee that we will get the services we paid for. I am looking at you, health insurance, car insurance, life insurance. At least I see where my taxes go, including public education, sanitation, the department of defense, social security, medicare, public libraries and swimming pools, and yes, welfare. I don't have a problem with people accepting assistance when they need it, which gets me to the crux of my post.

What is up with people being ashamed of asking for help? In Joyful Chaos's post, many homeschooling moms admitted to receiving welfare at one point or another, yet disparaged the program as being "defrauded." Well, defrauded by everyone else other than them, of course.

In all fairness, I think they are rightfully responding to something in our culture that teaches people that asking for help from -- gasp! -- the government is not okay. In return, this breeds resentment, hatred really, of people on welfare.

Growing up, I heard a lot of disparaging remarks about the program and the people "on the dole", including from my own family members collecting food stamps. They were the deserving poor, you know? They resented the fact that they worked so damn hard, were struggling, and did not qualify for the rolls. Ronald Reagan's made-up story about the "Cadillac welfare queen" didn't help any.

As I got older and realized almost everyone around me had received government assistance at some point in their lives, I sensed another uncomfortable feeling: guilt. We were raised to believe that as long as we pulled ourselves from the bootstraps, we didn't need the government. Never mind that we pay taxes for these services and even the strongest among us sometimes need help. Having witnessed layoffs and "downsizing" during a recession, I can tell you that the markets are not perfect. In this sense, I am sad for Joyful Chaos and other moms who need assistance, yet are continuously bombarded by negative messages of them asking for help.

What say you? Do you think the myth of the "self-made man" is something we can debunk in the United States? In our lifetimes?

First of all, Happy Memorial Day! I hope you all are enjoying a day off from school and/or work. We are having one of those unusual -- but welcome -- days of doing NOTHING. A lot of our friends are out-of-town so we've had the rare opportunity to hang out as a family. What are you up to today?

In other news: Michelle Rhee, self-described education reformer and controversial figure in the politics of public education, will be speaking next Friday in nearby Mountain View, California.

I have read and written so much about her and despite my trepidation, I RSVPed for the event. I will definitely fill you in!

I am wondering how all her work on the road is actually helping students. Also, I wonder what brings her to California. If you had the chance to meet her, what would you ask her? Thanks in advance!

Now that I got that off my chest, I want to rant about something that's been bugging me for a while: calling the Democratic Party the "mommy party". Really, what is wrong with that? Apparently everything to certain quarters of our country.

Most recently, the conservative Texas Civil Justice League disseminated a flyer that read "Don't Expand the Nanny State," and had a graphic picture of a child suckling a woman's bare breast, according to the Texas Tribune. The group has since apologized for the "inappropriate" image, but what most irks me is this thinking that being caring, nurturing -- gasp, a mother! -- is somehow undesirable. Eff you, Texas Civil Justice League!

On the flipside, this ABC News clip at Mombian had me in tears. ABC News sent actors pretending to be gay parents and a homophobic waitress at a diner in a conservative part of Texas. Contrary to a similar experiment in New York City, an overwhelming number of Texans stood up to the waitress in support of the gay family. Go Texas!

What else is in the news? What's up with you?

How is everyone today?

It's the weekend, y'all!

Today I am thinking about the circle of life, which can bring sorrow and joy simultaneously.

My thoughts are with our Lisa in Austin, who is traveling with her kids to join her husband following the death of her MIL. Lisa, I hope the memorial services bring you and your family some comfort and closure. I read your MIL's obituary and it sounds like she lived a full and meaningful life.

On the other end of the emotional spectrum, I'm also giddy with joy for our sherishu and our tessajp, who both found out yesterday that they have baby girls on the way in October! I lovelovelove knowing more MTer babies are on the way to make this world a brighter, better place :-) Congratulations on your growing families, ladies!

What's on your mind today? What are you up to this holiday weekend? Chat away!