So what's the torpedo of truth behind rumors Charlie Sheen has had talks about returning to "Two and a Half Men"? Much like reviews of his touring live show, it depends on who you talk to and when.

"There've been discussions" about the unemployed actor returning to the sitcom run by the people who just fired him, Sheen said Wednesday on Boston radio, "but I was asked not to divulge anything." According to Sheen's attorney, those discussions were held as recently as Tuesday, Show Tracker reports.

Warner Bros., however, begged to disagree. And they begged to disagree in a letter from attorney to attorney, reminding Team Sheen for the record that "there have been no discussions, there are no discussions and there will be no discussions, regarding his returning to or having any involvement with the series," according to the document obtained by TMZ.

Coincidentally, in the wake of Catherine Zeta-Jones' admission Wednesday that she recently sought treatment for bipolar II disorder, Sheen on Friday tweeted vigorously about a bipolar-disorder walk he'd organized to raise awareness and money. Fans were invited to stroll with him from his Toronto hotel to Massey Hall, the site of Friday's show, and urged to donate.

"Stop the Stigma!! ... #BIPOLAR #BIWINNING," said the actor, who pledged to match any donations to the Canadian group OBAD, the Organization for Bipolar Affective Disorder.

The bi-winner has definitely been up and down on his My Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option tour. After bombing during his debut performance in Detroit, he did well in Chicago, Cleveland and Columbus, Ohio, then ate it at Radio City Music Hall on April 8, which was also the first time he reached out to Chuck Lorre about working together again "to fix 'Two and a Half Men.' " (Was the show broken? Never mind, we digress.)

Gary Collins, the actor and TV personality, was arrested Tuesday night in Mississippi and charged with defrauding an innkeeper after he allegedly pulled a dine-and-dash on a bill of $59.35.

Collins refused to pay the tab even after employees followed him out to his car, telling him he had to settle up, Biloxi police said. He was arrested at home, then taken to the Harrison County Detention Center in Gulfport and held on a $5,000 bond.

Though Collins, who is married to former Miss America Mary Anne Mobley, was reportedly drinking alcohol at Jazzeppi's restaurant, police said no breath test was given as Collins wasn't operating a vehicle at the time of his arrest.

"The Sixth Sense" actor's credits include episodes of "Love, American Style," "The Love Boat" and "The Bionic Woman." Most recently he appeared on "Dirty Sexy Money."

Before his court hearing Wednesday, Collins might look to Randy and Evi Quaid for advice. The Quaids dealt their felony counts of defrauding an innkeeper over a $10,000 hotel bill down to a misdemeanor for Evi.

Check out more celebrity mug shots in our photo gallery.

RELATED:

Evi Quaid, wife of Randy Quaid, misses court again; warrant issued

Randy and Evi Quaid fear for themselves -- and others, like Mel and Britney

Evi Quaid is Canadian; Randy Quaid says he's being hunted by killer accountants, estate planners

-- Christie D'Zurilla

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Photo: A booking photo of Gary Collins. Collins was arrested in Mississippi Tuesday night. Credit: Biloxi Police Department / Associated Press

Evi Quaid, the wife of actor Randy Quaid, is even more wanted now that she failed to show up for a Thursday court date and earned a $100,000 warrant for her arrest, according to a deputy D.A. in Santa Barbara.

Evi Quaid is on probation in Santa Barbara after pleading no contest in April to a misdemeanor charge of defrauding an innkeeper. The hearing didn't go entirely to waste, however. Her attorney, Robert Sanger, took the opportunity to withdraw from the case.

The couple have already forfeited $1 million in bail related to a felony vandalism case in which they allegedly squatted in and damaged the guest house of a home they once owned. They haven't shown up for any of the vandalism-case court dates, having scooted off to Canada in their Prius in October, seeking asylum and claiming they were being targeted by dangerous "Hollywood star-whackers" responsible for the deaths of actors such as Heath Ledger, David Carradine and Natasha Richardson.

There's been speculation that the Quaids may be suffering from folie a deux syndrome, also known as shared psychosis, in which one partner shares the other's delusion.

The next Santa Barbara court date for Randy Quaid is set for Wednesday -- any ideas what the headline might be on that story? Do share, in comments.

RELATED:

Surprise! Randy and Evi Quaid miss court date in Santa Barbara

Randy and Evi Quaid fear for themselves -- and others, like Mel and Britney

Evi Quaid is Canadian; Randy Quaid says he's being hunted by killer accountants, estate planners

-- Christie D'Zurilla

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Photo: Randy Quaid and his wife, Evi, outside their lawyer's office in Vancouver, B.C., on Oct. 27, 2010. Credit: Jonathan Hayward / The Canadian Press / Associated Press

Randy and Evi Quaid failed to show in a Santa Barbara court Tuesday for arraignment on felony vandalism charges. A new arrest warrant was issued for Evi, whom the judge determined had no good reason to miss the hearing; one is on tap for Randy, effective Nov. 16, to allow him time to attend a Nov. 8 court date in Canada.

The Quaids' lawyer was granted an hour delay around 9:40 a.m. Tuesday, but it wasn't enough. The couple had posted $500,000 bail each to remain free after cruising to Canada and missing the original arraignment hearing on Oct. 18. Evi's half-million dollars is now forfeited.

Saying they feared for their lives, the two requested Canadian asylum Oct. 22 after they were arrested earlier in the week in Vancouver, B.C., on the original Santa Barbara warrants. Evi was revealed last Wednesday to qualify as a Canadian citizen, but Randy's status is under consideration.

Some experts have speculated that the Quaids may be suffering from folie a deux syndrome, also known as shared psychosis, in which two people who are closely related share the same delusion, ABC News reports.

Randy and Evi Quaid have maintained that they are in danger from "Hollywood star whackers,"

Famous fugitives Randy Quaid and his wife, Evi, spoke out together in an interview with "Good Morning America" on Monday, describing a conspiracy of business people who "follow us, they tail us, they tag our cellphone, they hack our computer" and warning Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Mel Gibson to be very afraid that they will be next.

"We are refugees ... Hollywood refugees, seeking to be left alone by the criminals in America," said Evi, who answered Andrea Canning's query about whether they're mentally ill or on drugs with her own question: "Do you think we are?," before clarifying, "No. Not even vaguely."

The interview took place in Vancouver, B.C., where the couple fled to recently. Warrants were issued for their arrest after they missed a Santa Barbara court date related to felony vandalism charges. Though Evi has been declared a Canadian citizen, Randy's status is still uncertain. They posted increased bail of $500,000 each to remain free until their next hearing, set for Tuesday in Santa Barbara.

Are they faking it? "Why would we fake -- we're just trying to find some safety and security in this and we're being pursued by these people, but we're not faking it, we're confronting it," Randy said.

In case you were worried the whole Randy and Evi Quaid saga couldn't get any weirder, we're here to ease your fears.

Turns out Evi is Canadian.

What's not really any weirder than it has been, however, is Randy's reasoning to seeking asylum in his bride's new country, which he expressed again Thursday after a short hearing before the Immigration and Refugee Board in Vancouver, B.C.

The Quaids were freed Wednesday in Vancouver, B.C., after the Canadian Border Services Agency got proof of her dad's place of birth and declared her a citizen.

During the Friday hearing in which they requested asylum, fearing their lives were in danger from "Hollywood star whackers," Evi Quaid repeatedly said her father was a Canadian FBI agent. Um, say what?

After being arrested in Vancouver earlier in the week, fugitive actor Randy Quaid and his wife, Evi, petitioned Canadian authorities for safe haven Friday, sending their attorney out in front of photographers with a note indicating they are "requesting asylum from Hollywood 'Star Whackers.'"

"Hollywood is murdering its movie stars," Evi Quaid said at their Friday hearing, during which, according to the Vancouver Sun, the couple alleged eight of their friends had been murdered in recent years and that they feared they were next. They also said they thought they had been treated unfairly by the U.S. justice system.

The Quaids have repeatedly failed to show up in court on various charges, including allegedly skipping out on a $10,000 hotel bill and vandalizing a home they were squatting in -- one that they had once owned.

The Daily Beast reported previously that the Quaids had hired a private investigator to check out who might be trying to kill them. Investigator Becky Altringer said last year that Evi Quaid believed Randy's costars Heath Ledger, Chris Penn, David Carradine and Natasha Richardson were among those killed by a mysterious group. Michael Jackson was also included on that death list, perhaps for good measure.

"Randy Quaid told me that he knew Evi needed help, but he didn't want to be the one to commit her," Altringer said Monday on "The Early Show."

How asylum in Canada could protect the couple from the alleged Star Whackers is unclear; Carradine died in a hotel room in Bangkok, which is a good deal farther from the United States than, say, Vancouver. Also, though she died in a hospital in New York, Richardson was injured in a fall while skiing in Quebec.

Ledger overdosed, Penn died of a heart condition, Carradine accidentally asphyxiated and Richardson's death was ruled an accident.

The Quaids are due in court in Santa Barbara on Tuesday.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Top photo: Evi Quaid, left, and her husband, actor Randy Quaid, background right, are escorted from an Immigration and Refugee Board hearing in Vancouver, Canada, on Friday. Credit: Darryl Dyck / Canadian Press

Bottom photo: Brian Tsuji, the Quaids' attorney, holds up a note written by the couple that he read during a break in the Friday hearing.  Credit: Stuart Davis / Postmedia News/MCT

Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:

Bail for fugitives Randy and Evi Quaid raised dramatically after their arrest in Canada

Happy belated birthday, Dennis Quaid -- but what's the deal with your brother Randy and his wife?

Maybe Randy Quaid and his wife are just shy a few frequent flier miles

If you're going to miss a court date, consider coming up with an excuse better than "We had some stuff to do in Canada."

Randy Quaid, 60, and his wife, Evi, 47, had their bail raised from $50,000 each to $500,000 each, E! News reported, after the Santa Barbara court learned they'd turned up in Vancouver, B.C., reportedly with their blue Prius packed full of possessions.

Warrants for their arrest had been issued Monday after they failed to show up to face felony vandalism charges. The Quaids were arrested by Vancouver police Wednesday shortly after crossing the border.

Police turned them over to Canadian border authorities Friday morning ahead of a detention hearing, CTV News reported. The Quaids' request to keep the Canadian Immigration and Refugee Board hearing private resulted in speculation that they might seek refugee status.

The Monday no-show wasn't their first rodeo — this time they were facing vandalism charges related to allegations that they were illegally squatting in a home they'd previously owned and trashed the guest house while they were there. They'd previously missed court when accused of skipping out on a $10,000 hotel bill.

Dennis Quaid was in Washington, D.C., Monday to talk about how reducing preventable medical errors fits into healthcare reform, and he hit "The Early Show" as well to make his case.

After almost losing his newborn twins to an accidental heparin overdose in 2007, Quaid launched a foundation to raise awareness about preventable hospital errors. His documentary "Chasing Zero: Winning the War on Healthcare Harm" premieres April 22, and he spoke about patient safety Monday at a National Press Club luncheon.

It wasn't all serious in Washington, however -- Quaid was surprised with a belated birthday cake (he turned 56 on Friday), and if you click here and scroll down to the video, you'll see his reaction to the idea that he might one day star in a John Edwards biopic. 

On the other coast, Randy Quaid wasn't in court today — again — and neither was his wife, Evi. The judge continued the case until later in the day, giving the two a chance to show before a warrant was issued. That's after the continuance granted March 3 when the couple, and Randy's Golden Globe Award, did manage to make it to court.

The two face felony charges related to about $10,000 worth of unpaid bills at the San Ysidro Ranch in Santa Barbara. Cuffs don't scare them. Was it the airlines' fault again? Probably not, as the Quaids' attorney told the judge Monday that they had indeed made it to Southern California this time. We can't wait to see if there's an extradition any time soon.

Lil Wayne's prison-sentence delays are looking incredibly business-as-usual next to this couple's dance with the court.

— Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Before his address on healthcare reform, Dennis Quaid blows out the candles on his belated birthday cake at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. Credit: Cliff Owen / Associated Press. 

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Randy Quaid and his wife, Evi, must really like Texas in the fall.

Our confidential sources tell us that large, modern jetliners have been rumored to fly quite often between Texas and California, but the Quaids appear to be having a heck of a time booking a flight out here from their spread in Marfa, Texas.

According to People, today isn't the first time that the couple -- out on bail in a case that revolves around an unpaid $10,000 hotel bill -- missed a court date with a Santa Barbara County judge.

They pinky-swear they’ll make it next time, their new attorney says -- but a little later in the week works better for them, OK?

-- Christie D’Zurilla

Photo: Randy Quaid at the Slamdance festival in 2008. Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jjeffreys/ / CC BY 2.0