Jon Cryer is still employed and loving it. In fact, the star said he's "jazzed" about the show coming back and had some very nice things to say about Charlie Sheen and Ashton Kutcher.

"I want to express my enormous gratitude to Charlie Sheen for eight great seasons," Cryer said in a statement. "I'm extremely proud of the work we've done together, and I will miss him. But I'm also looking forward to this new beginning."

News that Kutcher had signed a deal to join the "Two and a Half Men" cast came down Friday.

While Sheen was quick to wryly welcome Kutcher to "Planet Chuck" (referring to show creator Chuck Lorre, with whom he's been sparring), Cryer actually gushed a bit about his new costar, saying, "Ashton is an extraordinarily talented guy, and his presence will be an asset to our show."

Always going for the laugh, he added, "We are old friends from our male modeling days, and we're both looking forward to being judged for our comedic artistry, as opposed to our exceptional physical beauty."

Meanwhile, Sheen and Kutcher tweeted at each other about the news. Despite his first response Friday predicting a crash in "Two and a Half Men" ratings, Charlie said later, "Congrats to the cast and crew...CBS & WB..! My best to @aplusk !! The show must go on... You got the right guy! C." Ashton responded, "#2.5 Thank [sic] man. Always been a fan, always will be! BTW you were 'born big.' "

Sheen's Twitter bio reads, "Born Small... Now Huge... Winning... Bring it..! (unemployed winner...)"

Awww, now isn't that sweet -- almost like "Three and a Half Men" instead?

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-- Emily Christianson

Photo: Jon Cryer speaks at the First Annual Comedy Awards on March 26, 2011, in New York City. Credit: Dimitrios Kambouris / Getty Images

Welcoming Ashton Kutcher to what he called "Planet Chuck," Charlie Sheen responded Friday to the news that his unfillable slot on "Two and a Half Men" had in fact been filled.

"Kutcher is a sweetheart and a brilliant comedic performer ... Oh wait, so am I!!," Sheen told TMZ.

"Enjoy planet Chuck, Ashton," he said, referring to former boss Chuck Lorre. "There is no air, laughter, loyalty, or love there."

The four-time Emmy and two-time Golden Globe nominee for "Men" had wished Lorre "nothing but pain in his silly travels" after the show runner -- according to his star, unable to "handle" Sheen's "power" -- suspended production of the popular show in February. The 45-year-old actor was fired shortly after passing those sentiments along.

Kutcher, meanwhile, told his Twitter followers Friday, "Thank you for all the Congrats on 2.5. Met with the team this morning.... We are already working on earning your Laughter."

The balance of Sheen's message to his fans? "Enjoy the show America," he said, leading into his prediction that "Men" will tank in the ratings without him in the cast.

Guess when you're obsessed with winning, it gets harder to play the good sport.

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-- Christie D'Zurilla

Left photo: Ashton Kutcher presents a creation by designer Colcci during Fashion Week in Sao Paulo, Brazil, in January. Credit: Mauricios Lima / AFP / Getty Images.

Right photo: Charlie Sheen gets ready to hand out free T-shirts to members of the audience on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" in March. Credit: Richard Cartwright / ABC / Associated Press

Ashton Kutcher is taking the spot vacated by Charlie Sheen on "Two and a Half Men," reportedly booking the gig for a healthy salary that still represents a savings for CBS and the rest of the "Men" team.

Kutcher on Wednesday tweeted the not-very-enigmatic message, "What's the square root of 6.25?" then issued a statement Friday confirming the deal.

"I can't wait to get to work with this ridiculously talented 2.5 team and I believe we can fill the stage with laughter that will echo in viewers' homes," Kutcher said in a statement. Saying he "can't replace Charlie Sheen," he promised to work hard to entertain. 

Kutcher's name rose to the top of the class Thursday via Broadcasting & Cable, with the Hollywood Reporter getting confirmation from sources later that night. Word came Friday via TMZ that CBS honcho Les Moonves had blessed the decision.

Hugh Grant, who'd been negotiating with Warner Bros. for about a month, ultimately said no Tuesday night, according to Deadline Hollywood. Sources told the website that show creator Chuck Lorre wanted to move forward with "Men" only "if he can find the right actor and get excited about that."

Lorre on Friday described a "deep sigh of relief knowing that our family stays together," Show Tracker reported.

"If I was any happier," he said, "it'd be illegal."

The "Punk'd" creator won't play Charlie Harper; rather, a new character will be introduced to the story line. Makes sense, as the onetime star of "That '70s Show" has a few less miles on him than his Vatican assassin predecessor. Sheen is 45, Kutcher is 33. Sheen is a Virgo, an earth sign; Kutcher is an Aquarius, an air sign. The @aplusk Twitter account has 774 days' head start on @charliesheen's effort. And as far as we know, wife Demi Moore has never accidentally shot herself while picking up Kutcher's pants.

Word is Kutcher won't be taking home Sheen's base salary of $1.25 million per episode, plus more on the back end, but the numbers aren't puny: Various outlets have put Ashton's paycheck just shy of $1 million per show. Thank goodness the new guy comes from a two-income household, right?

Is it just us, or is Sheen looking smaller and smaller in TV's rear-view mirror?

What do you think of Ashton Kutcher joining 'Two and a Half Men'?online survey

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-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photos: Ashton Kutcher in January 2011, left, and Charlie Sheen in January 2009. Credits: Evan Agostini / Associated Press, left; Chris Pizzello / Associated Press, right.

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have launched a flurry of PSAs featuring such A-listers as Justin Timberlake, Drake and Bradley Cooper to put an end to human trafficking and child sex slavery.

The DNA Foundation's Real Men Don't Buy Girls Campaign launched Monday and has been gathering steam. Kutcher kicked off the campaign with his "Real Men Do Their Own Laundry" video. Subsequently, Isaiah Mustafa, Jason Mraz, Adrian Peterson, Sean Penn and Jamie Foxx have each been featured in PSA videos. See all the real men (and the women who prefer them) here.

The philanthropic couple will appear on Piers Morgan’s show this week and have enabled supporters to their own “real men” videos too.

"Many people think of human trafficking as a problem in developing countries. The sad reality is that thousands of young girls have been forced into sex slavery and held against their will, right here in the 'land of the free,' " Moore and Kutcher said in a statement.

"After learning about this horrifying problem, we realized that we couldn't just go on with our daily lives, we had to do something about it. And we've enlisted government, law enforcement and nonprofit organization experts to help."

The couple recently traveled to Luxor, Egypt, to attend the International End Human Trafficking Now Forum. The also spoke at the launch of the United Nations Global Plan Against Trafficking in Persons and Victim's Trust Fund last November, working to provide "humanitarian, legal and financial aid to victims of trafficking."

Which "real man" is your favorite? Tell us in comments.

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-- Nardine Saad
Twitter.com/NardineSaad

Natalie Portman says she'd take parenting advice from "No Strings Attached" costar Ashton Kutcher.

The newly knocked-up actress told MTV News that Kutcher would come to their movie set with sweet stories about advice he gave his stepdaughters, which showed her that he was a committed parent to Demi Moore's kids.

Did we mention that everyone's all up in Portman's business these days?

Recently engaged to choreographer Benjamin Millepied, she oh-so-ungraciously included mention of their sex life in her Golden Globes acceptance speech.

The once-private starlet is basking in the limelight thanks to critical acclaim for playing a psycho-ballerina in "Black Swan." Honestly, we think awards should go to the actors who take on roles where they have to naturally pack on the pounds, then shed them by award season. Hear that, George Clooney, Jake Gyllenhaal and Matt Damon?

Pounds or no pounds, she's likely getting more awards if "Strings" doesn't ruin her chances, as "Norbit" did for Eddie Murphy. Her laugh has also taken on a life of its own.

"The weird thing is people knowing about something that's so private," she told MTV about her pregnancy. "But I mean, you get used to it. It's just wild to walk down the street and have a complete stranger be like, 'Congratulations!'"

Julia Roberts isn't Globe-nominated for her turn in "Eat Pray Love," but she and husband Danny Moder made a date night out of weekend festivities surrounding Sunday's Golden Globe Awards.

The couple turned up for CAA's pre-Golden Globes bash Friday at Soho House in West Hollywood -- where the power agency and Grey Goose hosted clients and friends to drum up excitement for Sunday's trophy show.

Roberts and Moder mingled with the likes of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, out a second night in a row after Thursday's Bulgari event, as well as Colin Firth and his Italian movie producer wife, Livia Giuggioli.

Jeremy Renner, last year's "it" boy for "The Hurt Locker," turned up seeming still celebratory from his recent 40th birthday, mingling with the likes of Eva Mendes, Harvey Weinstein and Julianne Moore.

The evening also celebrated the agency's volunteer component, the CAA Foundation, which urges artists and execs to give their time in service.

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-- Matt Donnelly
Twitter.com/MattDonnelly

Photo: Julia Roberts and Danny Moder cuddle up at the CAA-Grey Goose pre-Golden Globe Awards bash at Soho House in West Hollywood on Friday. Credit: Alex J. Berliner / AB Images 

This post has been corrected. See the note at the bottom for details. Natalie Portman Ashton Kutcher

Natalie Portman has a lot going on. She's in the heat of award season, riding "Black Swan" buzz into Golden Globes weekend. She's also been busy promoting her latest film, the romantic comedy "No Strings Attached," in which she stars opposite Ashton Kutcher.

And, um, how many minutes ago did she announce she's engaged to Benjamin Millepied and, as she put it recently, busy "cooking a child"?

"I feel so, so, so lucky and I’m trying to take it all in and enjoy everything," she said at the "No Strings Attached" premiere Tuesday in Westwood, where she was already sporting a tiny baby bump. "It definitely makes me feel calmer about everything to really be in such a lucky place in my personal life."

Megastars like Sandra Bullock, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Oprah Winfrey and Prince William have a lot to be thankful for this holiday. The luminaries are getting a little shout-out for their generosity as well.

DoSomething.org, an online portal that helps link youth with volunteer opportunities, has publishing a list of "Celebs Done Good" for 2010. 

Bullock scores points for her support of education for low-income kids in Louisiana, Bieber gets big ups for his work with children's hospitals, and so do Gaga for her very public support over the repeal of DADT, Winfrey for her overwhelming generosity in general and the newly engaged William for his work with homeless youth in Britain.

Rounding out the list are Leonardo DiCaprio, getting props for his interest in endangered tigers; Ellen DeGeneres for her support of the Trevor Project and its efforts to prevent anti-gay bullying; Nick Jonas for his activism around diabetes; and Matt Damon for his longtime passion project in providing clean water water around the world.

Jake Gyllenhaal's main squeeze, Taylor Swift, gets a nod for her flood-relief efforts in Tennessee, Alicia Keys gets props for her much-covered "Digital Death" campaign in support of Keep a Child Alive, and Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are recognized for their efforts to prevent child sex trafficking.

Check out the full list here, and tell us your favorite charitable celeb in comments below.

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-- Matt Donnelly
Twitter.com/MattDonnelly

Photo: Lady Gaga attends the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards. Credit: Robyn Beck / Getty Images

Ashton Kutcher and PopChips have teamed to deliver a spot-on parody of the TMZ television show, serving the gossip website's staffers a dish hot off their own menu.

"Pop" has to be seen, not described, so take a few minutes to watch as Harvey "I'm a Lawyer" Levin and the rest of the crew are followed, questioned and, ahem, interpreted by Kutcher and crew in the style the TMZ team perfected.

We assume a guy who's OK with dressing up like Gloria Allred for Halloween will take it like a man?

— Christie D'Zurilla

The central players in some of Hollywood's most whispered-about stories put scandal aside last night in New York City, as Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore and David Arquette attended GQ's Gentlemen's Ball.

The fund-raiser for the mag's Gentlemen's Fund, hosted at the Edison Ballroom, featured "real men striving for the betterment of society," such as environmentally conscious heir David de Rothschild and chef Mario Batali.

Chace Crawford, Chris Brown, Trey Songz, Christopher Meloni and designers Catherine Malandrino, Simon Spurr and John Varvatos were in attendance as well. 

Kutcher and Moore have made several public appearances since allegations of a marital rift surfaced weeks ago. Arquette has been coping with a recent split from "Cougar Town" star Courteney Cox. 

Do you think the three had a ball? Tell us in the comments section below.

-- Matt Donnelly
Twitter.com/MattDonnelly

Photo: Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore at the Gentlemen's Ball hosted by GQ at the Edison Ballroom in New York on Wednesday. Credit: Evan Agostini / Associated Press

Get more comings and going in the Division of Fabulous Parties.