Venting

 

/vent-ing/ v.t. to give free play or expression to an emotion or passion

 
 
 
 
Britain’s Prince William and his wife Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, kiss as they stand on the balcony at Buckingham Palace with other members of the Royal Family, after their wedding in Westminster Abbey, in central London April 29, 2011.
 

Britain’s Prince William and his wife Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, kiss as they stand on the balcony at Buckingham Palace with other members of the Royal Family, after their wedding in Westminster Abbey, in central London April 29, 2011.

Photograph by: DARREN STAPLES, REUTERS

I thought I cared more about what Chris Pronger had for lunch than the royal wedding, but then I saw the highlights and got a lump in my throat after all. It was beautiful.

Princess Beatrice’s hat made her look like she was going to slam her face down in a pan of cookie dough and make Mickey Mouse-shaped cookies.

Enough of the royal wedding. We are an independent country. It’s time the cord was cut.

At a mall during school hours, I saw “our future” — a group of teens trash-talking, with jeans hanging off their rear ends. If this is the future, I weep for it.

If you want to get by me, the magic words are “excuse me.” Don’t just stand there and stare at me. Learn some manners.

Why, when looking for fingernail polish with my 10-year-old daughter, do I have to explain why certain shades are called “Groupie,” “KinkyStuff” and “SexKitten”?

I wait till I park my car before I use my cellphone. Is there any reason why others can’t do the same?

Why do all the TV stations devote so much time to the weather? Give us the pertinent facts and get on with it, or run a banner across the bottom of the screen.

The city is being overrun by seagulls and pigeons. Somebody take action before one of your children is fighting for their life from contact with pigeon feces.

Spring is here again. It’s time to remind cyclists that they do not have the right of way to pedal across traffic simply because they’re in a crosswalk.

I’ve started using public transit again. My spirits were lifted by something I had never seen before: about 75 per cent of the passengers were saying thank you to the driver as they departed the bus. It restored my faith in human kindness.

Shawn Hennessey’s “story” doesn’t change a thing. He deserves every minute of the 15 years he was sentenced to.

I just don’t get the lineups at coffee shops in the mornings. Don’t people know how to brew their own cup of coffee? It’s faster and cheaper.

The city plans to install a marked crosswalk where a woman was killed while walking her great-granddaughter to school. This is the price you need to pay to have a safer crossing in your neighbourhood.

So, bin Laden is dead. That could be worse than burning a Qur’an. And how do the Yanks react? Like a bunch of crazy religious fanatics, they go dance and holler in the streets.

Why does the city have bylaws it can’t or won’t enforce? I’ve called three times and laid complaints about the neighbours’ garbage, yet it is still s itting on their front driveway.

Went to Riverdance at the Jubilee — great classy production. Only problem was the three women next to us hooting and hollering at the performers. I yelled at them to stop shouting because we were not in a bar. Why should we have to pay $170 to liste n to these boors?

There is an alarming inclination to treat “precedent” and “precedence” as synonyms. They aren’t.

Aargh. The mosquitoes are back already. So is it our fate to have six months of winter followed by six months of mossies?

E-mail venting@edmontonjournal.com, phone 780-429-5196 or follow us at twitter.com/EJ_Venting.

To read more vents, go to edmontonjournal.com or facebook.com/EJVenting.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Britain’s Prince William and his wife Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, kiss as they stand on the balcony at Buckingham Palace with other members of the Royal Family, after their wedding in Westminster Abbey, in central London April 29, 2011.
 

Britain’s Prince William and his wife Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, kiss as they stand on the balcony at Buckingham Palace with other members of the Royal Family, after their wedding in Westminster Abbey, in central London April 29, 2011.

Photograph by: DARREN STAPLES, REUTERS

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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