London Free Press

Most teenagers have their ups and downs. Even a so-called “normal” adolescent can dipsy-doodle through a dizzying range of emotions.

For Jason Taff, however, the highs were higher than most. And the lows were subterranean.

Sometimes, for example, Taff says he’d walk out of a classroom at Parkside Collegiate in St. Thomas and head for the shed where they stored the sports equipment.

“I’d just go out to the storage room where the high-jump mats were and I’d just lie there for an hour,” he recalls. “I didn’t notice at the time that I was secluding myself, but that’s what I was doing. I’d just go to places where I couldn’t be bothered by anyone. It was bizarre.”

Nobody saw him there. But people did see other troubling aspects of Taff’s life: the break dancing, the partying and the pot-smoking. His marks were slipping badly, and he was arguing more with teachers.

In many ways, perhaps, it seemed like typical behaviour from another teenage troublemaker.

“I think a lot of people thought I was just acting out,” says Taff, who lives in Southwold, near St. Thomas.

In fact, Taff was struggling with the symptoms of bipolar disease. And now, seven years later, the 24-year-old man has documented his journey in Bipolar Life.

The book, released by Tate Publishing, may not suit everyone’s taste. The author, who is studying theology at Alberta Bible College in Calgary, peppers his text with Christian verses and references. And the prose is rather unpolished.

But Taff’s message — that most of us need to know more about mental illness and that those struggling with such illness must persevere — is invaluable.

“I had no idea what bipolar was until it was presented to me,” says Taff, who was diagnosed at age 19, about two years after he started showing symptoms. “I think a lot of people in high school are going through similar things and there’s not a lot of knowledge about how you deal with it.

“If they’re anything like me, it just happens and it escalates and escalates. . . . You don’t even know anything is wrong until it’s almost too late.”

Taff now realizes he was “having trouble processing information.” He was angered by petty things, everything from offhand comments and passing cars to the sound of chirping birds.

He remembers walking down the school hallways and becoming fixated by the way people turned their head.

“You lose your grip on reality,” he says.

After speaking to fellow churchgoers whose son was bipolar, Taff’s mother took him to the hospital and got help. Eventually, medication helped control his symptoms. And today, Taff is continuing his college studies and hoping to write another book.

He knows many others are dwelling in the dark places he once knew.

“I just know if they keep enduring, they will get through,” he says. “In the midst of their suffering, they just need to hold on, because it’s all worth it in the end.”

Ian Gillespie is The Free Press city columnist.

E-mail ian.gillespie@sunmedia.ca, read Ian's blog. or follow Ianatlfpress on Twitter.